LOSING IT ALL
BY: Ti'kara
CHAPTER 7
I languidly stretched, opening my eyes and looking around the room. The room was shrouded in darkness. "Computer, lights." The room brightened and I slowly sat up. Padding across to the bathroom I'm turned on the sonic shower, got undressed and stepped in.
After my shower, I slipped into an Inari outfit I had replicated. The top was long, to the knees, with a high collar and long sleeves. A pair of pants stopped at the ankles. It was deep, sapphire blue to match my eyes. I twisted my hair and clipped it up off my neck. I then headed for the mess hall.
Entering the mess hall, I walked over to where Neelix was cooking, picking up a plate. "Good morning," Neelix said brightly. "What would you like?" I took some food and looked around for a place to sit. Walking over to a table, I sat down. I looked out the porthole at the stars, watching them go by.
"Is this seat taken?" I looked up to see Ensign Kim standing beside the table. I shook my head motioning to the seat.
"Have a seat, Ensign."
"Harry," he said, sitting down.
I smiled, "Harry." I went back to looking at the stars.
"Anybody there?" Asked a voice. I looked around; noticing for the first time that Lt. Paris had joined us.
"What?" I asked, not sure what he meant?
"You look a million kilometers away." He explained.
"Umm, more like the Alpha Quadrant," I responded.
He nodded, "I think most of us are thinking of the Alpha Quadrant."
I suddenly looked off, not listening anymore. I felt the presence again. Without warning it attacked once more, this time telekinetically. I was slammed against the wall. I shook my head as stars whirled. Looking around, I saw other crewmembers standing around, open-mouthed. Lt. Paris helped me up asking, "What happened?"
"Call security," I gasped, not sure what they could do, if anything. I tried looking around, but couldn't see anything except people. Suddenly a chair came flying at me. I saw it out of the corner of my eye. Moving my hand swiftly, I sent another chair soaring into its path. I started choking. It felt as though someone was wrapping his hands around my throat.
Security entered the mess hall, phasers drawn. Looking around, they failed to see anything wrong, except for a young girl who looked like she was unable to breathe. Using my mind, I reached out and tried to disable the entity. I extended my mind; struggling with the entity locked in battle.
The pressure around my throat eased. Abruptly I drew a shaky breath. Weakened, I slid down the wall to the floor. A security officer knelt beside me, "Are you all right?"
"Commander Chakotay," I whispered. My throat felt raw. A minute later I looked up to see Chakotay kneeling next to me.
"Are you ok, Ishaia?" He asked concerned.
I nodded, "I think so."
"What happened?" I told him what had happened.
"I want you to tell the Captain," and he held out his hand.
"Enter," said Janeway. Chakotay and I walked into the ready room. The Commander told the Captain about what had happened in the mess hall. I then explained in more detail. Janeway nodded her head, thoughtful. "What do you think we can do about this?" She questioned.
I shook my head. That was one thing I didn't know. It seemed to me that only a telepath had a chance of doing anything, and I hadn't exactly shined. "Tuvok, report to my ready room." The door chimed. "Come in." Tuvok entered the room.
"Yes, Captain." She explained what had occurred. "Do you have any ideas."
"Perhaps some Vulcan meditation exercises would help Ishaia to focus and hone her telepathic abilities." He said. "I would be willing to work with her."
The Captain nodded, "Ishaia?"
"Sure, Captain," I answered, "I don't have any better ideas, in fact, I don't have any ideas at all."
"Very well, first I want the doctor to check you out, then if the doctor says it's all right you can start working with Lt. Tuvok."
"Captain, I'm ok…"
Captain Janeway held up her hand, "I'd rather have the doctor confirm that, Ishaia. Commander, escort her to sickbay."
Commander Chakotay nodded and motioned to the door. I preceded him onto the bridge. I looked over at him as we entered the turbolift.
"Chakotay," I said as the turbolift doors shut.
He held up his hand, "sickbay." He turned toward me, "Yes, Ishaia?"
"I'm frightened. This thing keeps coming after me and I don't know what to do."
"I know, Ishaia. Just remember that you're not alone. The crew is doing everything it can to help." Tears started to form in my eyes. He put his hand on my shoulder; "We will get you through this."
That evening, after a session with Tuvok, I sat back in the big overstuffed chair in my quarters. Thinking back to the meditation exercises, I wondered if I would have time to actually learn them. "Ishaia report to the bridge."
I slapped my combadge; "I'm on my way." I hurriedly exited my quarters. Entering the bridge I stepped down to the command deck, "Yes Captain."
"An alien vessel is approaching. I'd like you to scan them telepathically as we discussed."
"Yes Captain." Commander Chakotay motioned me to the small seat beside him.
"The ship is in visual range."
"On screen."
I opened my mind focusing on the alien minds. The alien commander introduced himself as a member of the B'ne, Actuen Ceelus. He suggested a cultural exchange. The Captain glanced at me and I nodded. There was nothing hidden here.
I intended to keep listening, but everything suddenly went dead. Or at least it went dead in my mind, replaced by a frightening rumble that grew into a primal scream. It was so awful that I covered my ears and bent over, my torso between my knees. But I kept my eyes open-which was a terrible mistake, because the deck beneath my feet was ripping apart, revealing a pool of blackness.
Screaming, I struggled to escape from the rift opening at my feet, but demonic hands grabbed me. The Captain and Chakotay bent over me. "Ishaia," said Chakotay, "Ishaia, what is it." Vaguely I heard him, but couldn't seem to respond. I fought to cast the entity out of my mind. Struggling, I gradually managed to force it out.
Looking up, I saw Chakotay's concerned face looking down on me. Behind him, I saw a dark shape, hovering. "There is an alien presence here," I whispered.
"Describe it," said Captain Janeway. "Why is it here?"
"To…" I began. A bolt of energy struck me violently. I went rigid. Rolling over, I struggled to my feet. Tuvok pulled out his phaser, pointing it at the shadow. Apparently the others could see it also. I extended my hand; firing miniature lightening bolts back. The creature assaulted my mind, while continuing to fire the energy bolts at me. The battle continued, both of us shooting the bolts. The bridge was criss-crossed with energy beams. All of a sudden, the entity left. Bridge consoles were smoking and one was on fire.
Gripping my side, I staggered to my knees. The pain engulfed me, and I felt utterly drained. I felt an arm around me and I looked over at Chakotay. The Captain knelt in front of me, watching. I sagged against Chakotay, the room spinning. "Get her to sickbay," snapped the Captain. Chakotay picked me up and walked to the turbolift. Tuvok came in behind us.
"Computer, activate the Emergency Medical Holographic Program." The Commander laid me on the bio bed. I was beginning to feel that I was living here.
"Please state the nature of the medical emergency." The doctor came over to me, running a medical scanner over my body.
"She's suffered second and third degree burns and shock." The pain was intense and I moaned, reaching out for Chakotay. Taking my hand, he said, "Take it easy, Ishaia, the doctor is taking care of you." I nodded, trying to focus. I realized that I needed to enter metabolic regeneration. Centering myself, I concentrated on slowing my metabolism. Turning my mind inward, my metabolism slowed and I focused on my injuries.
Chakotay watched the vital signs on the monitor plummet. "Doctor?" He said anxiously. The EMH noted the monitor, running a scanner over her. After a few minutes her vital signs read zero. "Doctor!" Chakotay practically shouted.
"The cellular degradation rate is less than .004%," he announced. She has entered a metabolic regenerative state. It is a natural healing process of the Inari. They slow their metabolism to such a slow rate that it does not register on scans. You have to go by the rate of cellular decay, to determine death."
"Then she is not dead?" Queried Chakotay.
"She is not dead," confirmed the EMH.
"Are you going to treat her?"
"That is not necessary, the injuries are not life threatening at this time. Under the circumstances, it is better to let nature take its course. Inari biology is extremely sensitive to artificial medications. I'd rather not risk it if it is not necessary to preserve her life. The first rule of medicine is, 'first, do no harm.'"
"Commander Chakotay report to the bridge."
He pressed his combadge; "I'm on my way." He left sickbay, "keep me informed, doctor."
Entering the bridge, he walked over to his chair, "Captain?" He questioned.
"Actuen Ceelus of the B'ne will be coming aboard. With all that's been going on, I want you on the bridge."
"Aye, Captain."
"I'll be with the Actuen. How is Ishaia?" The Commander told her about Ishaia's condition. Janeway nodded, "keep me informed." She exited the bridge.
Over the next few hours, Captain Janeway showed the B'ne around Voyager. Entering the mess hall, the Captain was explaining the purpose of the mess hall.
"This is very interesting," the Actuen said, "my people do not interact in this way." Without warning a crewmember grabbed his head and screamed, before collapsing, unconscious on the floor. Janeway rushed over to him, checking his pulse. Slapping her combadge, she snapped, "medical emergency, one to transport to sickbay."
"Neelix, take over." Leaving the B'ne with Neelix, the Captain rushed to sickbay. As she entered, she noticed the EMH working feverishly over the injured crewman. Kes was helping him. "Report."
"He is in neural metaphasic shock. Neural stimulator," he snapped. Kes slapped the instrument into his hand. "Readings?"
Kes glanced at the physiosensor, "synaptic functions failing, doctor."
"Neural stimulator," the doctor ordered. "Activate." Kes operated the controls. "Again…again." The doctor ran a scanner over the still form. "I'm sorry, Captain, the damage was too severe. There was nothing I could do."
Over the next hours, sickbay filled up with more injured crew. The doctor sent the less severely affected personnel to their quarter outfitted with neurocortical monitors. Those were very few.
Captain Janeway was practically frantic. She forced herself to focus totally on saving her crew. There had to be some explanation for what was happening, but what?
"Captain, please activate your Emergency Medical Holographic Channel."
"Yes, doctor." She replied.
"Ishaia is recovering consciousness."
"I'm on my way. Chakotay report to sickbay."
"On my way," the Commander replied. "Tuvok, you have the bridge."
On entering sickbay, Captain Janeway saw Ishaia lying on a bio bed. Walking over to her, she said tersely, "What can you tell me about this entity, Ishaia?" She was entirely focused on finding away to stop this attack on her people. Chakotay entered sickbay as the Captain spoke.
Suddenly I was angry. Not long ago my mother and sister had been killed by Cardassians. They had raped and beaten me. I was transported 70,000 light years to the Delta Quadrant; This entity was attacking me, doing its best to destroy my mind. And now the Captain stood there calmly, insisting that I 'report' all the details of this life form, as though I was some sort of sensor array and not a person.
I blew up, "report, report! That's all you can say to me! This thing is trying to kill me, for Assri's sake…"
"Ishaia…." Chakotay interrupted sternly.
"NO!" I shouted. "You're not helping me either. You keep saying that you all will get me through this! How? Tell me that, will you. You can't even tell when it's here. You both keep wanting reports and descriptions, and you expect me to act like a Starfleet officer. But I'm not. I'm only 15…" and I rolled off the bed. Staggering, my knees buckling I struggled out of sickbay.
"Ishaia," I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jerked my arm away, losing my balance I fell against the wall. He took me firmly by the shoulders, forcing me to face him. I tried to pull away, put he held me tightly. "Ishaia, stop."
"Leave me alone."
"That's enough, Ishaia." I had never heard him use that tone of voice before. I looked at him suddenly feeling apprehensive. Since Manua had been killed he was all I had. Perhaps that was presumptuous of me. I felt like he was the only person who cared about me; the only one I could talk to.
What I was feeling must have shown on my face for his face softened. He put his arm around my shoulders and spoke gently, "we need to talk. I do know that you're overwhelmed and I'm sorry that you feel all we care about are your reports. But, I have to put the welfare of the crew first. That's part of being on a starship. Crewmen are being attacked and dying and you're the only one who has any answers. I'm very proud of you, Ishaia. You have handled yourself exceptionally well, I couldn't ask anything more."
The Captain walked up behind him. "Ishaia, I'm sorry to have to press you."
"I understand, Captain," I said softly. The anger draining out of me. "I'll tell you everything I can." I felt emotionally and physically exhausted.
"Let's go to your quarters," Janeway said placing her hand on my shoulder.
Entering my quarters, I sat down on the sofa. Chakotay sat next to me and the Captain took a chair to the side. "Ishaia, I need you to tell me everything that you can about this life form." I nodded, taking a deep breath. Chakotay took my hand and gave me an encouraging smile.
"It's a psionic energy life form."
"What does it want?" Janeway asked.
"Us…it feeds on our bio-neural energy."
"Why did it attack you?"
"Because it knew that I would sense it, recognize it for what it is. That I would be able to fight it. It prefers to kill without the victims being aware of what is happening.
"How do we fight it?" Asked Chakotay.
I shook my head, "I don't know. When I'm in contact with it I'm too busy fighting it to gather information. What I know, I've learned in bits and pieces during the different attacks."
"Could we communicate with it?" Inquired Captain Janeway.
I looked at her in amazement, "communicate with it? You've gotta be kidding…oops, sorry Captain." I corrected catching Chakotay's look. "I can't imagine trying to communicate with it. I'm too occupied with trying to avoid contact." The Captain sat there a moment lost in thought.
"Captain?" Questioned the Commander.
"Ummm, what? Oh, I was just thinking that first we have to try communicate with it. Ishaia, do you think you could do that?" I looked at her in absolute dismay. She couldn't be serious, could she? I felt the panic starting to drown me. "Ishaia?"
How could I possibly express how I felt? How could I make them understand what they were asking? "You might as well throw me back to the Cardassians." I said bitterly. Chakotay looked at me, dismayed. What did he expect of me, anyway? I was afraid that he was angry with me. I got up, pushing past him and rushed into the bedroom.
Captain Janeway looked at Chakotay, a puzzled expression in her eyes, "what was that all about, Commander?"
"A minute if I may, Captain." He said heading toward the bedroom.
Entering the bedroom, he stopped in the doorway and stood a moment, watching her. She was standing with her back to him, looking out the porthole at the stars.
"I suppose you're mad at me." I mumbled, crossing my arms over my chest.
He walked up behind me, putting his hands on my shoulders. "Why do you think that?" He asked. I sighed, leaning my head against the window. "Ishaia, I'm not angry with you. First of all, it takes a lot to make me angry and second, you haven't done anything wrong. It's just that you shocked me. I guess I hadn't realized just how hard this has been for you. Not until you made that comment. I didn't truly understand the hell you were going through. Part of it has been the way you've handled everything. It's easy to forget that you're only fifteen."
I let out my breath, turning around to face him, the tears streaming down my face. "I can't do this." I whispered brokenly. "It has been trying to kill me after all. I don't know how the Captain can ask me to do this."
He reached out, gently brushing the tears off my face. "Ishaia, the Captain has to put the welfare of the crew before the welfare of one person."
"And what about you? Are you asking me to do this? Whose welfare do you have to put first? I guess I don't have to ask that; I know the answer."
He cupped my chin in his hand, "Ishaia, I hardly know how to answer that."
"How about the truth? You promised to never lie to me."
He nodded, "I do have to put the crew first. But I do care about you. That hasn't changed and it won't. My duty to protect the crew includes you; you're part of the crew."
"But do you think I should do this?" I insisted.
"I'm not sure. Do you think that you could communicate with them?"
"Probably, but whether or not I'd ever recover is another thing."
"Honey, if we don't stop them somehow, they will probably destroy the entire crew. That would leave you as the only survivor, again. How would you feel about that?" I looked at him totally speechless. I leaned my head against his chest and I simply shook. I didn't think that I could handle that again. Putting his arms around me, he said, "honestly, knowing how you feel, I would say don't. But, if you don't I don't think you will be able to forgive yourself. Not even with me saying that it's not your fault." He lifted my chin up, searching my face. I think you need to do this if at all possible. It's the only way."
The Captain, Commander Chakotay, the senior crew and myself assembled in the briefing room. The Captain gave them a broad outline of what I'd told her and then I filled in the details. At least as much as I could. Janeway then proceeded to explain about her idea of communicating with the entity and my objection to it.
"Ishaia is an extremely powerful telepath," Tuvok started. "She has a unique technique for combining the strength of two telepathic minds. Perhaps we could utilize that technique."
"Ishaia?" Asked Captain Janeway.
I slowly nodded my head. "That might work. In fact, it has a better chance of working than just me alone."
"Very well. When can you start?" Inquired Janeway.
"It will take me time to prepare. I will need to meditate and center myself. Also, there is a telepathic focusing crystal, a Runitian Crystal that I will need. It should be possible to replicate it."
The Captain nodded her head. "Take care of it, Commander."
"Aye, Captain."
"Ummm, Captain?" She looked over at me. "What do you want me to tell them… it…whatever?"
She looked thoughtful a moment then looked at the rest of the senior officers, "dismissed." They filed out of the room. Janeway eyed her XO; he rose, put his hand on my shoulder for a moment and left also. The Captain started talking quietly, explaining about first contact.