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CH: 6 THE BRIDGE TO FOREVER

*The Moving Finger writes; and , having writ,
Moves on; nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.*

September 7, 2064, Planet 2053 Yankee - 1300 hours

Nathan and Mitch had been gone for two and a half days. Finding an area to land the ISSCV had been easy, but Coop and Shane were kept busy building camouflage, while Jenny stayed with 'Phousse. The sick Marine moved in and out of consciousness. Each time she woke up, she was staying awake longer and longer, but she was weak and confused.

"Jenny?" Shane called as she came through the thick underbrush and down the trial to the beach. She found the Doctor sitting in the mouth of the cave, watching the waves, "how's Vanessa?"

"Shhhhh," the older woman looked over her shoulder. The young Marine was resting a few feet away, in the protection of the overhang of rock. "She's sleeping quietly."

"No more nightmares?" Shane frowned as she sat beside Jen. "I've really been worried about her."

"I'm taking good care of her," Jenny smiled, but was afraid that Shane saw through her concern.

"But whose going to take care of you?" The Captain stepped into the cave and came back with Jen's Angry Angel hat. "You need to wear this when you're outside, you're getting sunburned."

As the Doctor reached for her hat, Shane held it for a moment and looked closely at the Angel insignia, "I thought you said I needed my hat, Captain?" Jen raised her left eyebrow, daring the other woman to make a comment.

"Please, Jenny, I have to know about that night?" Shane whispered. She knew that something horrible had to have happened or the older woman wouldn't be wearing the Angel patch again. "Coop won't talk about it and there wasn't anytime to talk to Nathan. Tell me what happened? Where did it all go wrong?"

"You heard the facts the night we found you," Jenny shrugged. "I'm not sure what else I can tell you."

"Screw the facts!" Shane's voice shook. "Tell me what Nathan and Coop know, that they aren't talking about. The Colonel's never coming back is he? I can't think of anything else that would make you wear that patch again!"

"He is, he has to!" Jenny gasped. "The patch has nothing to do with McQueen." Was it a lie? She hoped not. "It's for me, and me alone!" As the afternoon grew late, she told Shane everything she knew about the night that ended in disaster for the Wildcards. Though she tried to talk calmly and factually, she was afraid that emotions slipped through too often.

As Shane sat and listed to the Doctor, she wondered if the other woman knew how graphic a picture she was painting of that terrible night. It made the Marine realize how much worse it had been for the three that were left behind.
...........................

Ten klicks away, at a higher altitude, and in much rougher terrain, West and Connelly, were following a twisting trail through a wooded area.

"Nathan," Mitch whispered as he peered around the next bend in the trail. "Look at that," below them on a small plateau was a two-building compound.

"This place has that utilitarian, AI look about it," Nathan looked through the binoculars again. "Nothing is moving down there. Lets go in closer."

The two men took their time covering the half klick distance to the power grid that surrounded the buildings.

"There's still power running through this thing," Mitch checked his instruments. "I'm not sure I can shut it down from here. Any ideas?"

"Yeah," West pointed twenty feet away. "Look at that." By the section of the grid where guards usually stood, were the bodies of two AI's, who appeared to have died in a knife fight. They were laying on the ground locked together, each had a hand, with a death grip on a knife buried deep in the other's chest.

"Damn, I would sure like to know what went on here," Mitch shook his head in disbelief. "Lets pull'em apart. Their bodies will shield us as we move through the grid."

Each Marine grabbed an Elroy body and used it for safe passage through the power field. After an extensive search of the compound, all they came up with was more bodies. Some had died in fights, others, like the Faliciti they had found the other day, had just stopped running.

"Nathan, look at this," Mitch called him over to the main computer. "There appears to be a program left running that's augmenting the magnetic field of this planet. It looks like these AI's were trying to shield their presence. The question is who were they shielding it from?"

"It had to be from us," Nathan reasoned. "Chigs and AI's are allies."

"Why would they bother?" Mitch argued. "We're in the Chigs' backyard. And it's not just radio signals that were shielded. We would have picked up the energy signature of this compound, if it hadn't been masked. I think these guys were hiding from the Chigs."

"Can you download all the information on that thing, without interfering with, or disabling the shielding?" Nathan didn't know if Mitch was correct, but he wanted to take back all the information he could to the Saratoga.

"Sure, but it'll take me longer to do it that way," Mitch began working. "Why don't you pull all the memory chips on the inhabitants of this little Paradise? Between those and the download, we should have a pretty clear picture of what happened here, once we run it through the ship's computers."
.............................

September 10, 2064 The Clara Barton 1030 hours

The physical therapist was taking McQueen through his exercises for the forth time that morning. Each time, the woman demanded more of the Colonel. Each time the Colonel thought he had given as much as he could, then he would remember the dreams and the letter from Lars Morgans. He would take a deep breath and find the energy to push harder.

"Very good, Colonel," the tiny dark haired woman complimented him. Her soft Mexican accent making her words sound musical.

"You make an excellent Drill Sargent, Captain," McQueen covered his trach and his voice was a rough approximation of his own.

"That is what my children tell me," Captain Eva Mata laughed.

"How's my star patient doing?" Dr. Kelly came over to McQueen who was doing a cool-down walk on the treadmill."

"As you can see Dr. Mike," Eva pointed to McQueen's leg, and to the read-out on her computer. "He uses it as if it were part of him, which is as it should be."

"Colonel, is the numbness bothering you much?" The old Doctor watched McQueen's movements as if they were the most important thing in the world to him.

"It takes a little getting used to," McQueen looked down as he kept pace with the treadmill. "I know I'm moving and putting weight on my right foot, but I can't feel it yet. At first I was worried it would interfere with my balance, but it doesn't."

"That's good to hear. Any pain?" Kelly knew that there shouldn't be any, but often patients perceived pain because they knew they had organic rods where a limb used to be.

"You mean other than what is caused by your Cpt. Mata?" McQueen glared at the woman who he knew was driving him hard for his own good. "Very little, just some minor muscle spasms."

"Good, good, your progress is remarkable. You've gotten the best possible results I could have hoped for," Kelly smiled. "It's amazing how far we've come in seventy years."

McQueen smiled, the old Doctor loved talking about his work, and the Colonel found the more he learned about the procedure he had gone through and all that was still ahead of him, the more secure he felt. Information was the key to understanding, and understanding was the key to independence, something the man on the treadmill needed badly right now.

"It's hard to believe that the stem cell technique we used came from work being done in the late 20th Century in attempts to regenerate cardiac muscle after heart attacks." Dr. Kelly was fascinated by the crude efforts of those early doctors.

"We were able to do one bone marrow harvest from you and use the stem cells from that to grow skin, alleviating the need to take grafts from your body. We also used those original cells as a template to create new ones so that we will be able to send you back to the Saratoga with samples. Your doctor can give you the stem cell injections you need for the further regeneration of your nerve endings." The Doctor made quick notes in McQueen's chart as he talked. "If it had been necessary to harvest bone marrow each time you needed more stem cells, you would be heading for Earth, not your ship."

"How long do you think it will take for the regeneration process to be complete," McQueen worried that the Marines would take a grim view of him needing special medical treatment when on the front lines.

"I can only give you an average. Everyone is different when it comes to things like this," Kelly shrugged. "I'm betting on it taking about six months until you have complete feeling back, but it will return a bit at a time, as individual nerves regenerate. Then, with the exception of the small graft scar over the anastomosis, you won't be able to tell one leg from the other."

"What kind of duty restrictions will I be on?"

"You still can't fly, but that's because of the MEF," Kelly shook his head. He knew what drove most pilots and he doubted McQueen was any different. "You'll need to be on 'ship' duty for the next few months until you have complete feeling in your new foot and the neoskin covering it. We did some creative nerve grafting, taking afferent nerves, those that take a message to the brain, from the intact part of your leg. We used those to replace some of the efferent ones, those that receive massages from the brain, that were lost in the explosion. It was imperative that you have normal function of the prosthesis, from the beginning. We didn't want any of the doner-transplanted muscles to atrophy. The feeling side of the coin can be worked on."

"What's your definition of 'ship' duty?" He didn't think he was going to like this.

"You need to stay out of hand to hand combat situations," Kelly needed to stress the seriousness of the situation to his patient. "Until that foot and lower leg is completely healed, you have to be careful. The last thing you want is necrosis of the neoskin or muscle tissue, either your's or the banked muscle we used. Since you lack feeling in that area, it would be very easy to do damage.

"The skeletal parts of your prosthesis were attached very much like hip or knee replacements were seventy-five years ago, but instead of using titanium rods, we used ones made of specially treated banked bone tissue. Over time the 'organic' rods will fuse with what was left of your tibia and fibula. Becoming living bone, stronger than your own would have been. The foot part is made up of organic rods and titanium joints, covered with banked muscle and your regenerated skin."

The Doctor stepped closer to McQueen to emphasize his point, "until you get feeling back to that area completely, you can damage it. Breakdown in tissue can cause infection and even gangrene. If that were to happen you could end up with an above the knee amputation, instead of the below the knee one you have now. Believe me, the prosthesis that we have for those aren't like the one you have! If things had gone a little differently you could have ended up with a computerized leg, like we talked about before surgery."

"I get your point," McQueen shuddered when he thought what his life might have been like if he hadn't been so lucky. Before surgery he had been willing to live with anything that would get him back to the Saratoga, including an AI type leg, now he knew that it would have been much harder for him to accept.

"I don't know what's going on out there on the Saratoga, and I'm sure I never will. You realize that I'm only releasing you now because I'm getting pressure from Frank Savage to do so. As it is, Frank can pressure all he likes, but I'm keeping you for one more day." The Doctor wanted to be sure McQueen was clear on his restrictions. "The General filled me in on your duties on the Saratoga. I've certified you for active duty aboard a space carrier, only. You are not, under any circumstances, to have any ground duty until all feeling returns. And I'm sure you're old enough that I don't have to tell you, 'none of that macho crap' so many soldiers like to pull in the gym!" The Doctor raised an eyebrow at the Colonel, putting him on warning.

"Dr. Kelly," McQueen cleared his throat. "I appreciate all that you've done for me. Thank you very much."

"You're very welcome. We were lucky the muscle implants responded so well, otherwise I'd have had to do my magic with computerized tissue," Kelly smiled at the Marine. "I've written out full instructions for Dr. Kirkwood. I see from some of her earlier medical notes that she's figured out how to keep you in line, so you should have a complete recovery."

McQueen nailed him with a cool glance, wondering what Jen had written.

"When Eva is done putting you through your paces, get some lunch. You have an appointment with Dr. Turek at 1400 hours," the older man smiled. "I believe he's planning on taking out your trach tube."
..............................

Planet 2063 Yankee, September 10, - 1400 hours

"Did you have a good nap?" Jenny looked up from notes she was quickly scribbling, to meet Vanessa Damphousse's dark eyes.

"I keep dreaming about Paul," 'Phousse sighed.

"I hope they're good dreams," Jenny moved closer and did a quick neuro check.

"I guess they are," Vanessa chewed her lip wanting to ask Jen a question. "How long does it take?"

"Pardon me?"

"I'm sorry, Jenny I know you don't like to talk about...well...what happened to you, but how long does it take for the pain to go away?" Tears formed in the Marine's eyes. "This is nothing like when Sam broke off our engagement in the Spring."

"I didn't realize you felt that way about Paul." Jenny sat back on her heels, absorbing the new information. "Are you sure you aren't feeling guilt mixed with the loss of a good friend?"

"I'm sure," 'Phousse sighed. "We.....discovered that we had feelings for each other when we were on leave last spring. I never let him put his feelings into words. I was afraid talking about it would tempt fate."

"Did you love him, Vanessa?"

"I cared more about Paul than anyone else I've ever met," she sniffed, trying not to cry. "What I felt for him made my feelings for Sam seem childish."

"I never realized," Jenny whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," 'Phousse smiled. "People die, feelings don't. I just wish I didn't miss him so badly, that's all."

"I'd like to say that what you're feeling would be over in three hours or three weeks, or even three years, but I can't," Jenny looked a bit lost. "It takes time, and the amount of time is different for everyone. There are definite steps that a person goes through in the grieving process, unfortunately they're necessary to heal."

"How long did it take you to go through them?" Damphousse needed answers.

"Vanessa," Jenny caught her breath. "I can't tell you what you want know, really I can't."

"Jenny, 'Phousse," Cooper Hawkes had stood, hidden, listening to the women talking. He had appointed himself Jenny's guardian, if that meant protecting her from Damphousse's questions, he would do just that. "It's beautiful out, why don't we take 'Phousse outside?"

"Sure," Jenny was glad for the interruption. "Coop, give me a hand and we'll get her on her feet. Lets take it easy, one step at a time. I know you're still a bit dizzy, but getting some fresh air will make you feel much better."

It was the height of false night, as the Marines called it, that odd time of day when the northern hemisphere of the planet had rocked away from the sun. It was like sitting on the beach at twilight, but instead of getting darker, it got lighter, then in a few hours true night would come.

"I wonder if this is what the night sky looks like during the summer at the North Pole, back on Earth?" Shane asked as she moved aside to make room for Vanessa.

"That's something else I'll have to put on my list of places to see," Jenny smiled. "The land of the Midnight Sun, and of course the northern lights, but that would be winter time."

"You planning a long trip?" Coop looked over at her, as they helped 'Phousse sit down.

"Not anytime soon," she answered cryptically. "There you go Vanessa, fresh air, sun not too bright, and a beach only a few feet away. What a vacation spot!"

"How soon did you say Nathan and Mitch would be back?" Damphousse's' voice cracked, still thinking about Paul. Jenny had told her about his death and McQueen's accident the day before. Somehow hearing Paul's voice in her head made it easy for her to believe that he had died, but the loss of the Colonel seemed unreal.

"They should be back anytime now," Coop was beginning to worry. His eyes met Shane's, both knew that the two men should have been back yesterday at the latest. If all went well with the Saratoga, Ross was due anytime. Too much was at stake to risk it looking for dead AI's.

"It's so beautiful here, its hard to remember there's a war going on," Vanessa murmured. It was warm and humid, but there was a wind blowing that kept it from being too uncomfortable. They had rain everyday, but the cave stayed dry. Hawkes and Vansen were able to find game to keep them fed.

"I bet we would make a pretty strange looking group," Shane smiled. "Sitting here with M-590's, wearing fatigue pants, t-shirts and no shoes. All we need is some Mexican beer."

"You know what this reminds me of?" Jenny looked at them. "I've seen pictures from the 1960's of hospital bases in Viet Nam. Some of them looked a lot like this. Soldiers, sitting on the beach, getting a tan, with their weapon by their side."

A rumble in the sky was heard from behind them. "Into the cave, Jenny, take 'Phousse with you," Shane grabbed her weapon as Coop grabbed his. "Do as I say, both of you!"

Ten minutes later, the Marines returned with Nathan and Mitch following behind. The ISSCV was carefully hidden. All they could do now was wait until they heard from Ross.
...............................

The Clara Barton September 10 2064, 1900 hours

"McQueen?" General Savage knocked impatiently on the door to the Colonel's room, then walked in. He found the man sitting at a table making marks on a blueprint and scribbling notations in the margins.

"What's wrong, General?" McQueen knew from the look on the older man's face and his tone of voice that something had happened.

"I've just heard from Maj. Gomez," he paced the small space of the room. "There has been an attempt on Pats' life. Whoever it was tried to make it look like a break-in. Thank goodness I left her well protected!"

"Is she all right?" McQueen felt adrenaline pump through him, all thoughts of wind speeds and water displacement, quickly shoved aside.

"Yes, thank God," the General sank into a chair. "But I'm heading back to Earth as soon as I can get a transport. I didn't tell you this before, but there've been killings of in-vitros from Pats' batch. Someone else is doing a search like ours, but instead of trying to find them for information, they're killing them."

"Why the hell didn't you tell me.....Sir?"

"I wanted you to focus on getting better," Savage's composure was returning, but he was still worried about his wife. "You're needed on the Saratoga. Too much is happening. Ross needs someone there he knows he can trust."

"Who's behind all of this?" McQueen was confused. Something that had appeared to start out as simple prejudice, was getting more and more complicated. "If you knew there was a danger to Patsy, why did you stay here so long?"

The General looked McQueen up and down. He could tell the Colonel was doing much better. The trach tube had been removed that afternoon and from all the reports Savage had gotten from the doctors, it seemed that McQueen would be ready very soon to return to duty.

"I stayed because there are a few pieces of information that you haven't been given," the General watched McQueen's face close down. "It wasn't that I didn't trust you. What I am going to tell you, is known by only a few people. It's what I want you to take back to Ross. If you hadn't been well enough to travel soon, I'd have chanced blowing my cover to get the information to the Saratoga. It is imperative that this information gets to Ross and no one else."

"I understand, Sir," for the first time since the peace talks, McQueen felt like a Marine again.

"There is only one person who has the power do most of what has been done. That person is Secretary General Diane Hayden." Savage watched the Colonel absorb the information. "We...I, believe that she is acting in conjunction with Carleton Stryker. Somehow they are behind all of this."

"What exactly do you mean by 'all of this'?" McQueen had worked with Hayden years ago in the In-vitro Rights Movement, but didn't know her well enough to form an opinion on her character. It wasn't until she was on the Saratoga after Chartwell had been assassinated, that he began to suspect that she wasn't all that she appeared to be.

"She and Stryker had dealings with Aerotech in the early years. Hayden's were done openly, but Stryker's weren't. Sorry, I can't reveal my source on that. We believe that they knew about the genetic manipulation of in-vitros," Savage cleared his throat. He had been less than honest with McQueen about how far Longley's study had gotten.

"So Jen was right?" McQueen's eyes turned icy. "Someone was breeding in-vitros who could be drug controlled."

"Yes, I'm sorry, but we don't have any proof of who it was in Aerotech," Savage shook his head. "With E. Allan Wayne dead, I'm not sure there's anyway to get it. Stryker has connections with the AIU, Craig Rabwin in particular....."

"Shit!" McQueen leaped to his feet as the implications sunk in. "Sorry Sir," the Colonel pulled his temper back under control. Only his eyes showed his anger over the loss of his people and the damage to himself done by that explosion.

"Shit is right," Savage knew he was correct about McQueen as he watched the younger man control himself. The Colonel was back in the war, where he was needed. It didn't matter if Mike Kelly was keeping him for another day. The man had healed. "We have no way of knowing at this time what was behind the bombing attempt. But I do believe we know who."

"To destroy a chance for peace to kill one woman?" It frightened McQueen to think of Jen as the focus of so much hate.

"We don't know that. Some of the heat should be off of Jenny, as soon as we go public with the information in Longley's study. That should also help protect any older in-vitros.

"I believe there was much more at stake when that bomb was placed. If the Saratoga had been destroyed as planned, it would have taken out a good portion of the high ranking military staff this side of Saturn. Wayne, Dr. Kirkwood and the Chig Envoy, would have been only a few of those killed. As it is, it did more than enough damage," Savage had McQueen's full attention. "We have no way of knowing how deep, or how far back the hate behind all this goes. And until we do, no one who was on that ship is really safe, and very few trustworthy."

"What can I tell Jen about Patsy?"

"I'm going to leave that up to you, if it were possible, I would say nothing," the General smiled. "But if we lie to her now and she finds out, God, help us. She already knows that we weren't honest with her regarding possible danger to others on the Saratoga. Assure her that I would give my life to protect Pats, but I think you understand that don't you?" The General looked the Colonel in the eyes, both saw the same look of determination and need.
................................

The Clara Barton, September 11, 2064 - 2330 hours

John Stark went to check on the Colonel one last time, before turning in for the night. He found his patient packing the few belongings he had managed to collect while on the hospital ship.

"I figured I'd find you still up," Stark looked McQueen over carefully, the Colonel had been strangely quiet since General Savage left the day before. "You'll be heading back to the Saratoga tomorrow."

"Yes," he turned to face the Corpsman. "Stark?" McQueen dug deep in himself. He needed to know something and only the Sargent could answer it for him. "All the time you were on Kordis? Did Jen.....Dr. Kirkwood, tell you how she felt about The Major?"

"No Sir," Stark felt a surge of relief as he watched the confusion on the Colonel's face.

"Then what made you say what you did, the other day?"

"I could tell by the look on her face whenever she talked about you, how she felt," the Corpsman saw his words hit the mark as the older man froze.

"How long have you known?" McQueen met the deep blue eyes of the Corpsman.

"That you were the Major? I've wondered since I saw you with the bracelet," Stark shrugged. "But didn't know for sure until just now."

"You're wrong, Stark, about what she feels. We're just friends."

"Are you sure about that, Colonel?" The Corpsman shook his head at how stubborn the older man could be.

"I've known her for four years," McQueen was getting frustrated, he wasn't sure who he was trying to convince, himself or Stark. "I would know how she feels about me."

"Would you, Colonel?" Stark pushed. "I don't think she understood, so why should you? But no one who heard her tell those stories, while trapped in that dark cold cave, could miss what she was feeling. What I don't understand is why she thought you were dead."

"When the Yorktown was lost, it was reported that all the Angry Angels died." McQueen gave him the short version, he was tired and didn't want to talk about this anymore, but couldn't stop himself. "Jen was notified before the clerical error was corrected."

"Then, I guess the question is, how do you feel about her?" The Corpsman smiled and looked as innocent as a six year old caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"That, Sargent is none of your business," McQueen glared at the young man.

"You're probably right, Sir," Stark turned to leave. As he reached the door, he looked over his shoulder at the troubled older man. "Colonel, if it was me, that's something I'd figure out!" He walked out and left McQueen glaring at the hatch.
...........................

September 12, 2064, The Saratoga - 1300 hours

The familiar clank and bang of the Launch Bay doors sent a rush of excitement through McQueen. He was home. As soon as the words drifted through his mind, he began to reject them. Was the Saratoga really his home? Part of him resented all the doubts that were surfacing due to the dreams he had been having. He was a rational man, who didn't listen to dreams. Why was he doing so now?

He had spent the trip from the Clara Barton trying to figure out what he would say to Jen when he saw her, and he still didn't have an answer. If he believed what Stark said, then she really did care about him. That thought led him down roads he would rather not travel. Closing his eyes, he could see Jen beaten and burned from the mugging in Houston. Rationally, he knew he couldn't have prevented it. Jen had said as much the night he had kissed her, but on a deeper level there were doubts.

*"Ask yourself then answer, why wouldn't you let Jenny go to Kazbek?'* Shane Vansen whispered in his head.

*"To keep her safe,"* McQueen's inner voice answered.

*"But WHY?"* Shane nagged him, in his thoughts.

Shanking his head and standing as the ISSCV door was opened, the Colonel clamped down on the questions. His mind racing to the present, *"I don't have time for this now!"*

McQueen was greeted by the brightness in the Launch Bay. Even as his eyes grew accustom to the change in lighting he searched for the face of the woman who was causing him so much unrest.

"Ty," Commodore Ross met him as he disembarked. "I never thought I'd see you on this ship again! You look good as new." Ross gripped his friend's hand.

"Jen said I'd be back," he smiled and buried the disappointment that it was Ross standing across from him instead of Jen. "I should have learned by now to trust what she says. Any word on the Wildcards?"

"We're heading toward 2063 Yankee now, to pick up the SAR team," this was what Ross had been dreading ever since he had heard McQueen would be back before they made the return trip. "They've been out of radio contact ever since the drop. Come to my office, we need to talk."
...........................

Commodore Ross' Office

"She did what!" McQueen couldn't believe what Ross was telling him. "Glen how could you let her go. I thought the whole idea of her being on the Saratoga was to keep her safe."

"Easy, Colonel," the Commodore was going to pull rank if need be. "When it became obvious someone was trying to take out the Saratoga, I figured she would be as safe, if not safer, with the 58th." Ross thought the excuse sounded lame, he hoped McQueen would buy it.

"This wasn't what I meant by 'keeping her safe', when I wrote you," McQueen felt empty inside as he remembered what Butts' had said to him in his dream. Was he going to have to learn to live without them all? Maybe he would find himself a black hole and see just what Butts had found on the other side of Cerberus. "Jen DID give you my letter?"

"Yes, she gave it to me," Ross smiled as he remembered what he had read. "Ty, you weren't here. You didn't see how bad it was for them, Jenny especially. I'm not sure they wouldn't have gone AWOL to find Vansen and Damphousse, if I hadn't let them go."

"I thought I taught them better than that," McQueen glared.

"Maybe, West and Hawkes," Glen shook his head. "But Jenny was the driving force behind everything that happened in those few hours. I'm still not sure how I let her talk me into it," Ross answered honestly, in hopes his friend would understand. "She was like you were at Christmas time, when the 58th was missing, only worse."

"Was it very bad for her?" McQueen whispered, his back to his friend.

"Bad?" Ross looked at the Colonel, not sure how much he could say without breaking Jenny's confidence. "Try hell!" Watching the other man clench his fists and take a deep breath, the Commodore plunged on, "how long have you been in love with her?"

"Love?" He swung around, shaking his head. "No Glen, I care about her. I care about her a great deal, but love? No!" It shook McQueen to his foundation to think the 'L' word in connection with any one person. That word was so final, so irrevocable. "We're just friends."

"Friends my ass," Ross muttered. Then nailed McQueen with a glare, "there's an old saying, 'love is friendship set on fire'. Think about it."

"I don't have time to think about it now!" The Colonel argued, his expression turning to ice as he tried to bury any thoughts of Jen for the moment. It was too easy to picture her as she had been in his dream with Paul. Her slim body shaken with dry heaves as she huddled against the Sickbay wall, refusing to let anyone help her, keeping Chico and Joan at bay until she regained a bit of control. He refused to believe that he had seen any of the truth. He couldn't have hurt her like that!

"You don't have time not to," Ross advised. Then backed off, "all right, you're off the hook for the moment," he shook his head, deciding it might be better not to force the issue, in case Jenny didn't make it back alive. "Now down to business. I know you have messages for me from Savage, then you need to report to Sickbay for them to certify you for duty. I'm going to need you in the next few hours while we sneak in to pull those wondering kids of yours off of 2063 Yankee."
............................

2063 Yankee, September 12 2064, 2200 hours

"Ross is four days overdue," Shane hated to be the one to bring up what was on everyone's mind. "We need to start thinking of some contingency plans."

"The message we received was garbled," Mitch Connelly pointed out. "We don't know how badly the Saratoga was damaged. It may have taken longer for repairs than originally planned."

"I think we need to face the possibility that She's too badly damaged to come back for us," Jenny Kirkwood spoke up for the first time that night. "Don't look so surprised! I was there too, you know? Granted, on the Saratoga, not Demios. That's how we filled those long silent hours when sleep wouldn't come; preparing to find you all died, but praying that it wouldn't happen. This isn't any different!"

"Jenny's right," Coop patted her shoulder. "We need to prepare for the worst, but hope we don't need to use it."

"Let's give it one move day," Shane nodded. "There's nothing we can do about it tonight and we're pretty well hidden."

"I'm sorry Shane I didn't mean to pop off like that," Jenny knelt near the dark haired Marine and spoke quietly.

"You only spoke what's been on all our minds," Shane smiled. "How's 'Phousse doing?"

"Better, but I'm glad she slept through my little out-burst," Jenny reached for her utility vest and side arm. "I'm going to get some fresh air before I turn in."

Shane just shook her head at the change in Jenny. Gone was the laughing woman whose company they had all enjoyed for the last year. In her place was a determined grim woman, whose only objective was to keep them all alive.

Jen sat in her usual place against the cliff, watching the waves. Tonight it didn't give her peace.

"I had almost given up hope that you'd come tonight, Carbonite," the scratchy voice of an AI caught her off guard. "Drop the gun!"

"What do you want?" Jen whispered, adrenalin pumping through her, as she turned and faced the barrel of an M-590.

"All of you dead!" He grinned at her. "Don't even think of calling out to the others. Now, do as I said, drop the gun. Then you're going to take me to the cave."

"Go to hell!"

"Little Carbonite, I know all about hell. This virus you people implanted has made me feel things I never imagined," he slung his gun over his shoulder as he grabbed her by the neck. Pulling her close he whispered in her ear, "I've learned about hate, revenge and the joy of killing."

"We didn't implant any virus," Jen gasped, as she tried to peel his hand off her throat.

"One Carbonite is much like another," he laughed. "Now you can pay for what the others have done. And I'll teach you all I've learned about hell, as you watch me kill your friends, if you don't do as I tell you." He ran his finger up and down her arm, causing her to shiver. "I'm a Lance-OH model, we were created for pleasure. I never got any pleasure from the touch of Carbonite skin, but watching you quiver in fear is showing me all that I've missed," he laughed quietly.

"You're going to kill us anyway, why should I cooperate?" Jenny dragged what little air she could into her lungs as her left hand pulled on his fingers at her throat. The movement brought Ty's k-bar close under her right hand where she was holding tight to her left wrist.

"I can make you beg me, to let you call to them," he smiled down at her. "Remember, there's dying, then there's dying," the AI laughed. "Your choice Little Carbonite, do they die quickly or slowly? You, I'll save 'till last. I may die of this virus like the rest, but I'll get to enjoy your fear and anguish as they suffer." The thoughts of the pleasure he would gain from watching the humans die slowly at his hand hypnotized the Lance.

"Stay in the cave!" Jenny rasped out. Hearing a familiar deep voice in her head whisper, *"you can do it, Jen, I'll help you,"* she pulled the k-bar from her utility vest and thrust it backhand into the AI's chest. The Lance had been distracted and she was taking full advantage of it, praying all the while that she would live long enough to kill it.

The Lance couldn't get to his gun, pulling her close had been a tactical error. He was in reach of her knife. He had miscalculated badly, she was fighting him. The sensation of circuits being cut as the large knife sliced through him a second time, made him move even slower. He had forgotten how the virus shorted out his reflexes and made clear thinking hard. He raised his fist and swung at her, but as he knocked her off her feet, his motherboard exploded when he was hit by the projectile from an M-590.

"Jenny!" Coop called, as he lowered his weapon and ran to her side. The shaking woman, had slid to her knees, as she gripped the k-bar in both hands, ready to continue the fight. "What the hell happened?"

"He was here," Jenny hugged McQueen's knife close to her, not wanting to let go of it, still needing to feel the power of the man it belonged to. "He was waiting for me. He was going to kill all of you." She looked up, surrounded by Wildcards.

"Be careful with the k-bar," Shane reached for the knife Jenny gripped close to her. "Please, you're going to cut yourself if you're not careful."

"No," Jen whispered as she turned her body away, still holding on to the knife tightly.

Coop knelt and touched her hands as they held fast to the k-bar, "let me help you," he spoke quietly, then carefully unwrapped Jenny's fingers from the knife. As he turned it over to return it to the Doctor's scabbard the moonlight caught on McQueen's initial's on the back. "Here you go Jenny," he smiled. "It's back where it belongs. Lets get you into the cave, where you belong."

"Were you out of your mind?" Shane lectured the Doctor once they were safe inside again. "That thing was a good foot taller than you. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that he was going to kill you as you came running out of here to help me," Jenny shouted, still shaken from hearing McQueen's voice echoing in her head moments ago. "And if I led him back to the cave like he wanted, he would have killed you before you knew he was behind me. I've come too far to have you die now! Any of you! What did you think this mission was all about anyway?" She wiped frantically at tears that rolled down her face as reaction set in.

"Any sign that he had the virus?" Connelly interrupted the arguing.

"He said he did, and that we had implanted it," Jenny thought back over what the AI had told her. "He had been watching us for a while, because he was expecting me to go out there."

"I'm going to see if there is anything left of his memory chip," Mitch picked up his weapon and micro tools.

"Wait," Shane called out. "I'm going to watch your back. If one of those things is out there, we can't be sure there aren't more," she needed to cool down. The Marine knew she had lost her temper with Jenny, but the thought of the smaller woman taking on the huge AI made her blood boil. "Nathan, you guard the entrance, the password is sugardirt."

"Jenny, you'd die for us, wouldn't you?" Damphousse's question caught the older woman off guard. "That's why you came."

"I guess I've been hanging around you Marines too long," Jen shrugged, trying to make light of Vanessa's observation.

"No, it's more than that," 'Phousse watched the older woman fidget. "It's something you need to do, but I don't understand why?"

"Please, Vanessa, just leave it alone," Jenny didn't have the strength to keep anything hidden tonight. "It's been a long day, we all need to get some sleep......" The radio crackled to life, "'Phousse, can you read that signal?"

"Morse code," she sounded more alive than she had since she and Shane had ejected days ago. "Yes I've got it. '5-8, 5-8, Saratoga in range'," she wrote quickly as the message continued. "This doesn't make any sense. 'The piper has been paid, repeat, the piper has been paid.' Then the coordinates."

"That's Ross," Jenny cried out recognizing what she had said to him days ago. "It makes sense to me," she smiled as she remembered what she told Ross.

Jenny's hands shook as she prayed them back to the Saratoga, a trip that seemed to take forever. West and Vansen made the ISSCV dance in an attempt to evaded Chig patrols. Three times Hawkes and Connelly fought off attacks, before they were met by a Hammerhead escort that Ross had sent out. The guns echoed through the small ship as Jenny stayed with Damphousse, who was still having problems with dizziness and bouts of nausea. The mad dash for the ISSCV, followed by the rough flight made the Lieutenant's symptoms worse. When they had received Ross' message they knew that they had to leave quickly. 2063 Yankee was located too close to the Chig home world for the Saratoga to remain hidden long.
............................

The Saratoga Launch Bay, September 13, 2064- 0910 hours

"WOO-YAH," Hawkes called out as the small craft was secured. The echo of the Launch Bay doors was still loud in their ears, when the green light went on indicating pressure had been restored to the bay. Mitch was opening the ISSCV door a second later.

"Make a hole," Corpsman Win Trosper's voice could be heard, as he and another Corpsman brought a stretcher to 'Phousse's bunk. "Hey, Lady-Doc it's good to have you back," he grinned and winked at Jenny.

"It's good to be back, Win," she sighed as she helped them transfer Vanessa to the stretcher. "I'll be down to Sickbay as soon as I gather my things. Give this to whoever is in charge today," she handed over the chart she had been keeping on her patient.

Standing and stretching she pulled her pack over one shoulder and the M-590 she had been carrying over the other. Stepping out of the ISSCV it took her eyes a moment to adjust to the bright lights of the Launch Bay, but there was no mistaking the happy sounds of a small crowd of people, ten feet away from her. Looking up she shook her head in disbelief. "Ty?" she thought as she froze in her tracks, unable to take her eyes off the scene in front of her.

The stretcher carrying Damphousse was stopped by McQueen's side and he was holding tightly to one of her hands. Shane had just hugged him around the middle and he was putting a tentative arm around her shoulders. Coop and Nathan, not to be outdone, put there arms around Shane and began slapping their commander on the back. Jenny laughed at the bemused expression on McQueen's face. He definitely wasn't used to male bonding rituals!

At the sound of her laughter, she saw him look up. Suddenly, her world was reduced to one man. The crowd around them seemed to melt away as she watched him disengaged himself from the group of excited young people, and walk with his customary cat like grace to stand in front of her. She felt his eyes on her as they swept over her, taking in her hat, then the Angel patch on her shirt.

Without a word McQueen did the only thing he could do. He slowly raised his right hand, as he smiled at the Angel in front of him. Jenny's hand came up in a mirror of his. As they touched and their fingers meshed, he whispered, "not even death can defeat an Angry Angel."

"I can't believe you're back so soon," her eyes locked with his. Both had forgotten they were still gripping hands. "You look....wonderful!"

"I feel wonderful......now," inside of him a little voice was yelling, *"be careful, McQueen, don't show too much."* For once in his life he didn't listen to that voice, he just....acted. "Though, all of you gave me quite a scare," he whispered as he stepped closer.

"Gloria Collins didn't think that word was in your vocabulary," Jen giggled as she remembered a dream from weeks ago.

"Hump....." McQueen was about to say more, when the Saratoga rocked from gun fire and the room came back around them. Both people dropped their hands and stepped back, aware they had been holding tightly to one another in the middle of a crowd. "I need to get back to the bridge. I'll see you later?"

"Sure," Jenny smiled. "I need to get to Sickbay and look after 'Phousse."
...........................

Sickbay 1030 hours

Jenny breathed a sigh of relief, only Vanessa Damphousse was remaining in Sickbay, and that would be for only a short time. Everyone else had passed their physical, even Shane. She knew she needed to clean up, but she was anxious to get a look at the specs on McQueen's prosthesis.

Chico Voss found Jenny at the computer in their office, a few minutes later. "Dr. Kirkwood," he smiled. "I'm glad to see you waited for me, it's your turn now, exam room three is empty."

"Pardon?" Jen looked up from the material she was reading.

"I said it's your turn," he reached around her and turned off the computer. "You need to be checked out by a doctor."

"I do not! I'm fine."

"That's an order, Doctor," Chico held his ground.

"You can't order me around, I out rank you," Jen fought back.

"Maybe, but I'm your doctor of record," he glared at her. "Room three, Joan Brill is waiting for you. I'll be there in a few minutes."

An hour later Jenny punched the code to her quarters. She wasn't sure when the sounds of fighting had stopped, but it had been sometime while she was being bawled out by Chico. She wanted to be angry with him, but it was hard when she knew he was right. She had let herself get badly run down. She needed sleep and to gain a bit of weight. The AI hadn't broken any bones when she fought with him, but she had some colorful bruises to show for her efforts.

After a quick shower, she crawled into bed, and reached for the sweat shirt she kept hidden. She pulled it close and buried her face in it as she wondered how much she had given herself away in the Launch Bay. "*Oh well, it's too late now,*" she thought as she fell asleep, holding on to McQueen's shirt.
.........................

Ross' Office 1300 hours

"What now, Sir?" McQueen looked at his friend and commanding officer.

"The Saratoga is running under radio silence, maybe that'll help us keep them off our backs," Ross looked carefully at the map of the area around 2063 Yankee. "We're still in their playground. The last report I had was that sector 27 is the cut off line for no man's land. That should take us another day."

The men's strategy session was interrupted by someone knocking on the hatch. "Come," Ross called out and was surprised to find Vansen, Hawkes, West and Connelly. "It's good to see you made it back," the Commodore smiled at the young Marines.

"It's good to be back," Shane smiled. "We found something very interesting on 2063Y and thought you should see it."

The Marines told them about the hidden AI village, the drained power cells and the odd encounter Dr. Kirkwood had with the Lance OH model just before they had been picked up. Connelly added any information he had observed about the virus.

"Here are the memory chips from all the dead AI's we found," Mitch opened his pack, showing the men what they had. "We've also brought back a downloaded copy of all the information on the main computer at the compound and a few of the 'drained' power cells."

"Sir, this isn't the first time we've run into this," McQueen was remembering the planet Minerva and what had happened with Paul. "But it was on a much smaller scale."

"Can we run those chips through our computers without the virus getting into our system?" Ross looked at Connelly, since he seemed to know the most about the technology behind what had been found.

"I don't know, Commodore," Mitch frowned. "I'd like to try. We can rig an independent system, so the ship isn't in danger. Any chance Cpt. Fisher could help me out with this? She's a whiz with computers."

"Lt. Connelly, tell her this has a priority from me, she'll help you," Ross smiled at the young man. "Is there anything else you can tell me about the virus?"

"You've got all the information I've got on it at the moment," Connelly shrugged. "You may want to talk to Dr. Kirkwood, she was the only one of us to have any direct contact with an infected AI that was still functioning."

"Keep all of this on a need to know basis," the Commodore looked stern. "Connelly, you and Fisher set up a lab and between the two of you send me the names of three or four people to help you. I need to okay your team before they start working with you. Good work people, dismissed."

After the young Marines left, Ross looked over at McQueen, "what's your take on all of this, Ty?"

"AI's hiding from the Chigs, it doesn't make much sense," McQueen shook his head. "And this thing about the virus, I don't know what to think. When we ran into those two AI's on Minerva it appeared as if it was an isolated incident, now I'm not so sure."

"If we were careful, we could make it to Minerva in about two days," Ross muttered. "Can you give me a good reason why we should go there?"

"Yes Sir, I can," McQueen smiled as he remembered an eccentric British Officer who was hidden there. "Major Cyril McKendrick."

"You think he's still alive? That area has seen heavy fighting," Ross pulled up a copy of the confidential report McQueen had submitted to him about the British Major.

"If anyone could survive that, he could," McQueen remembered the determination in the older man's eyes as he argued to be left behind.

"Hell, how many times can they Court Martial me?" The Commodore rolled his eyes. "As far as Command knows the Saratoga is still hiding, doing repairs, if we pull this off, maybe no one will look too closely at where we've been for the last week or so."
.......................................

Sickbay, September 13, 1430 hours

McQueen looked around the hatch that led to Vanessa Damphousse's bay. The young lieutenant was resting peacefully. He breathed a sigh of relief that she was going to be all right. He had spoken with Chico Voss a few minutes earlier and was told that 'Phousse would be out of Sickbay soon, and back to regular duty, in another week or so.

"Paul...." Vanessa muttered in her sleep.

"You're having a dream," McQueen held her hand and sat beside her bed, understanding the hell dreams could play with a person's mind.

"Colonel?" 'Phousse opened her eyes, surprised to see the older man sitting beside her. "It's hard to believe that you're really here. We were so worried about you. Jenny told us what happened at the peace talks. It's a miracle you're here."

"A miracle?" The older man smiled at her, "'A meerracle and a missteree'." McQueen imitated W.C. Fields, with a grin. "I'm just glad you and Shane are safe."

"Nothing seems quite real, yet," she closed her eyes for a moment, then looked her commanding officer over closely. "Were things very bad for you? You look different somehow." Damphousse studied him. She knew it was none of her business, but couldn't seem to stop the words from pouring out. "Physically you appear fine, but something is wrong. I can see it in your eyes."

"I've been through a lot....."McQueen started to tell a lie to cover what 'Phousse was seeing, but he stopped, realizing that if anyone could help him understand the significance of the last few days, it was this sensitive young woman. "What do you know about dreams?"

"More than I'd like to right now," her eyes filled as she thought of the times in the last few days she had dreamt about Paul Wang.

"You were dreaming about Paul just now, weren't you?" McQueen sighed as he remembered having similar dreams.

"Yes Sir," Vanessa smiled. "I know it sounds crazy, but I've been dreaming about him since the crash. I kept hearing his voice telling me to hold on, to live, that help was coming."

"I did do," McQueen admitted quietly.

"Pardon?"

"I was dying and Paul made me fight to live," the older man whispered. "He said he was dead, but that I had to live. It seemed so real."

"Sir, do you think it was really him?"

"It couldn't have been.....but...?" Part of McQueen wanted to believe that the experience he had with Paul had been real, but if he did, it would add validity to his other dreams and that was too much for him to accept.

"What did Paul say that has you so worried," 'Phousse could sense his terrible doubt and unrest.

"I didn't just dream about Paul, if I had, I could chalk it up to worry. It's the other dreams that......are difficult," he shook his head as he thought about them. "I know I was recovering from surgery at the time, but they all seemed so real! I didn't tell the doctors, for fear they'd have me in a straight jacket before I said two sentences."

"Where they frightening?" The young Marine was fascinated that the usually reserved Colonel would speak so openly.

"No, not in the classic sense," his lips curved in a half smile. "No Chigs or AI's to fight, nothing as simple as that," he shrugging trying to make it seem as if it wasn't important.

"You could talk to Jenny," Vanessa challenged. "She'd understand."

"No, she's the last person I could ask about these dreams," the Colonel shook his head, afraid that Jen would understand too much.

"I read up on dreams when I was having that problem last winter," 'Phousse thought back to the time the 58th had spent in the tunnels. "I was hoping that all the strangeness was somehow related to something I was dreaming about, but it wasn't."

"What did you learn about them?"

"The mechanics of dreaming is pretty straight forward. There are five stages to sleep," Damphousse explained. "Lets see if I can remember all this? Dreams occur most often during REM sleep, though there can be dreaming in stage 4 of the sleep cycle," she thought for a moment, then continued. "In REM sleep, the dreams are vivid, emotional and exciting. This's when sleep is related to the needs of cerebral stimulation, sorting and storing of information, committing new information and experiences to memory and general psychological coping. The dreams in stage 4 are more realistic and factual. At least that's what it says in the books I read on the subject."

"I don't suppose you found a book that told you what they really mean?" McQueen sighed.

"Dream interpretation? Only about a few thousand of them. Unfortunately, I don't think that it's the same for every person, no matter what all the books try and say," the young woman looked very sad. "For me, it's more important what a dream says on a personal level. I guess it goes back to psychological coping."

"Or they could mean nothing at all?" He countered.

"I hate to think that. I believe that when we sleep, our guard is down," Vanessa was sure this wasn't the answer the Colonel wanted to hear, but she respected him too much to lie to him. "To me a dream is my inner voice yelling in my ear."

"As you said, a way of coping?" McQueen remembered what Patsy had said when he dreamt about her.

"Yes," she nodded. "You could say that. I think it's a lot like intuition. All the little things our brain processes and we never realize are there, until the moment we need them."

"There's no way of finding a definitive answer, is there?" The older man sighed as he thought about all the questions his dreams had posed.

"Each person has to decide for themselves what a dream means, I think. Though, there's always what Edgar Allan Poe had to say," Vanessa smiled as she remembered Paul reciting poems from memory, late at night while they had been caught on Demios.

"Poe?" McQueen looked up remembering words that drifted through fog, "'Over the Mountains Of the Moon, Down the Valley of the Shadow,'?"

"Right poet," she whispered. "Wrong poem. 'Is *all* that we see or seem, But a dream within a dream?'"

"Not a very happy thought," McQueen sighed, preferring reality to dreams.

"Sir, you say these dreams weren't frighting, but they seem to have upset you." 'Phousse was back where she started.

"It wasn't the dreams themselves, so much as the questions they posed, that bother me," he shook his head bringing himself back to the here and now.

"Then maybe you need to find the answers to the questions," 'Phousse yawned, worn out from talking for so long. "Then you'll know if the dreams mean anything or not."

"Maybe you're right," he squeezed her hand and stood to leave. "I almost forgot. When I dreamt about Paul, he wanted me to tell you something. He said, to tell Vanessa, that 'the face of heaven is so fine, that all the world is in love with night.' That both you and Shane would understand what he meant."

"Oh God," she gasped as tears filled her eyes. "It was real. He really spoke to you."

"No, it was only a dream," McQueen sat back down beside the sad woman.

"No, Sir," She smiled at him with wet eyes. "At Christmas, Shane gave Paul a copy of Romeo and Juliet. Before we lit the engine to maneuver into the tail of the comet, he read that quote: 'And when I die, take him and cut him out in little stars, And he will make the face of heaven so fine, that all the world will be in love with night, and pay no attention to the garish sun.'" Taking a deep breath, she felt at peace for the first time since hearing how Paul died. "He always loved the stars. I think he wanted me to know that he's okay and is where he wants to be."

"You really cared about Paul didn't you?" McQueen couldn't look any deeper into the significance of what had been said.

"Yes Sir, I did. We cared about each other," Vanessa sighed as she thought of the time she and Paul had wasted. "Colonel, once when we were on Demios, Paul tried to tell me how he felt about me, but I stopped him. Now, I wish more than anything that we'd talked about our feelings. I'd give a lot to have just a few minutes with him, so we could have that conversation."

McQueen sat frozen as he heard Winslow's words echoing in his head, *'there's a war on, you never know who is here today, but will be gone forever in a matter of hours.'*
................................

Jenny's Quarters September 13, 1645 hours

Jenny tossed and turned as she dreamt. She was back on 2063 Yankee, walking out of the cave. Instead of the Lance OH model waiting for her, she came face to face with Amy McQueen. A little voice whispered deep inside the sleeping woman, *"an AI would be easier to deal with than Ty's ex."*

"You!" Jen gasped as the tall blond smiled at her.

"Yes, me," Amy grinned. looking impeccable in a sun dress that showed off her tanned shoulders. "I wanted to thank you for taking such good care of TC, while I've been away."

"I was only doing my job," the small Doctor felt very much at a disadvantage in her rumpled pants and damp tank top.

"No, you did much more than your job," the older woman's cat like smile didn't reach her eyes. "You saw that he got the medical care he needed, but you also taught him about feelings. Now it's my turn to take over."

"But..." Jen was at a lose for words.

"Jennifer," the tall form of Professor Kirkwood moved beside Amy. "What do you think you're doing? That man belongs to this woman," he smiled at the blond. "He's confusing his gratitude for you as a doctor with real feelings."

"But daddy, what about my feelings?" Jenny felt like a little girl again as she looked at her unmoving father.

"Jennifer, this is what I've tried to teach you: feelings only hurt you." His harsh words had the power to reduce her needs to nothing. "This man does not love you!"

"Leave, both of you, just leave," Jen called out in her sleep as she forced herself to wake-up.

Splashing cold water on her face to try and drive the dream from her mind, Jenny stared at her reflection in the mirror over the tiny sink in her bathroom, hating the doubt she was feeling. "Damn him and damn her," she muttered as she ran wet hands through her hair. Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock.

"Yes," she opened the hatch, and gave herself a quick mental shake to make sure she wasn't still sleeping, when she found Ty standing there.

"May I come in?"

"Sure," Jen pasted a smile on her face. "I can't get over how well the prosthesis is working for you." She watched him walk, trying not to think about the dream that lingered in her mind. "I went over Dr. Kelly's notes in your chart when I was....."

"I didn't come here to talk about my medical needs," he interrupted her. He had come from his talk with Damphousse, something in him needing to see Jen. Now that he was here, he didn't know where to start.

"Oh?" Jen took a few steps back.

"General Savage sent you this letter from Patsy," he handed over the envelope he had been carrying for her. Using it to buy him time while he gathered his thoughts.

"Thanks," she smiled. "There are pictures inside!" She quickly opened it and pulled out pictures from Patsy and the General's wedding. "They got married! Did you know?" She looked at McQueen and laughed, putting down the letter to read later.

"It's kind of hard to miss," he grinned back at her. "Savage is wearing a wedding ring and the biggest smile you ever saw. Now you can go back to Catalina when the war is over," he probed as his eyes moved over her. She looked like she had just awakened, her tank top and running shorts still rumpled from sleep and her hair in damp curls as if she had just run wet hands though it.

"No, Ty, that hasn't changed," She shook her head, knowing he wouldn't understand her need to get away and be alone until she could face a life without him. "But the war is a long way from being over."

"There's something I need to tell you, but it's classified," McQueen turned serious. He had to get this out of the way before he could do anything else.

"What's wrong?" The tone of his voice made her stomach clench.

"A few days ago someone broke into the house on Catalina," he saw Jenny pale under her tan, and reached for her. "It was an attempt on Patsy's life, disguised as robbery. She's fine, Jen. Frank wouldn't let anything happen to her."

"It's because of the DNA sequencing I found last spring isn't it?"

"I'm sorry Jen, but that's classified." He looked at her worried expression. "Ideally you shouldn't have been told this much. Savage left the decision up to me, but I couldn't leave you in the dark."

"Thank you," she leaned her forehead against him as he rubbed his hands up and down her bare arms. "Do you think she's safe?"

"Frank Savage will keep her safe or die trying," McQueen knew just how the General felt.

Neither the Colonel nor the Doctor thought it the least bit odd that they would reach for each other in times of distress. It was something they had discovered the night before Kazbek, and had perfected during the siege of Ixion.

"This situation keeps getting worse and worse," Jenny looked up and met his eyes. "How many more heads can this dragon have?"

"We may have found another one," he moved his hand over the bruised area of her shoulder and neck. "Ross is taking us back to Minerva to check on the AI virus. The Commodore has already talked to the rest of the 58th, but I know he wants your input as well."

"Stop frowning, Ty," Jen whispered as she pulled away from him, realizing how easy it would be to depend on his touch. "What did you think I was going to do, let that Lance kill them, after going to the trouble of finding 'Phousse and Shane?" She shrugged, trying to explain the unexplainable. "It wasn't really that hard to overpower him," she remembered McQueen's voice in her head as he urged her to fight. "The virus slowed its ability to process information. No lecture, I've already gotten one from Shane."

"That's not the point," McQueen used anger to cover the fear that ate at him when he thought of Jen taking on the large AI. "You shouldn't have been there in the first place!"

"Ty, you told us they were alive," she whispered. "I couldn't let them call off the search."

"You risk your life on things I said based on an hallucination?"

"No," she corrected. "On faith, your faith that they were still alive and my faith in you."

"That's the craziest thing I ever heard!" McQueen glared at her.

"Please, I don't want to argue." Searching to change the subject, she looked through the pictures in her hand until she found one of a striking racing sloop. "Oh, look at this, it's the Black Gull, Lars finished it."

McQueen gave up the struggle, and looked over her shoulder at the picture of the boat he had helped the old shipwright design, the year before. "Lars wrote me and sent some pictures, too. He said she'll take every race, once there's decent competition, again," he smiled.

"That sounds like him," looking up at Ty, she had a jolt of memory. For one second she was standing on the Windswept and he was close behind her. All he would have to do was reach around her......She called a halt to her thinking, not sure where the memory came from. "Thank you for doing that for Lars."

"He's the one who did most of the work," McQueen shook his head. "All I did was add a few principles of aerodynamics to the ideas that Lars already had."

"You did much more than that. You believed in him," Jenny remembered both men being as excited as children over the building of that boat.

"Of course," he looked at the sincere expression on Jen's face and was surprised. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Not everyone would," Jenny smiled at the man beside her. "Magda told me that a long time ago Lars had a small boat building business. Then he ran into problems and lost everything, including his confidence. When my father met him, Lars was hanging around the docks in San Francisco doing odd jobs. My dad brought the Morgans to Catalina to take care of the house while he and mom were on the Lovell. Father seemed to have a talent for finding broken people and using them for his own convenience." Professor Kirkwood's words from her dream were echoing in her head.

"Jen?" McQueen had never heard her use that bitter tone regarding her father. He thought the man certainly deserved it, but this was something new for her. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, I can't imagine where that came from," she turned from him unable to meet his eyes. Lingering memories of her dream making her doubt herself.

"Are you all right?" He watched her worriedly.

"Sure," she turned back to him, a breezy, open smile on her face, but her arms crossed tightly across her chest. "Did you know that Stan Turek is a sailor too? Ever since he saw the wonderful job Lars did putting the Windswept to rights, after I bought her, he's been trying to steal him from me." She talked brightly, trying to lighten her mood and take his probing eyes off of her.

"I would hardly call the man who captained 'The Indomitable' to three wins of the America's Cup, just a sailor." McQueen laughed, remembering a number of conversations the two men had enjoyed during the Colonel's recuperation.

"So, he told you?" Jenny nodded. "I'm surprised, Stan likes to keep a low profile about that outside of racing circles."

"He told me that we raced against him once," Ty looked at the woman standing close to him. "I believe he said, 'you and that damn blond witch stole my breeze, and went away laughing.' He seems to think you have an ability to call up the wind at your command."

"Ha! Talk about a sore loser. He and his wife were sailing her boat, The Cappo Queen, that day." She giggled, as she remember the race from Catalina to Newport Beach and how all the boats had been becalmed for over three hours. "He was just feeling put-upon because we used some of the tricks he taught me, against them. If you hadn't been so shy about attending the social functions that went with the races, you'd have met Stan long ago."

"Jen," McQueen growled. "I thought you said you didn't want to argue." He had always believed that as an in-vitro, it would be appropriate for him to act as crew for her, but to be seen as her *date* at any of the yacht club parties, associated with the races, would put her in danger. "You know my feelings on the subject."

"You never had me fooled," Jenny rolled her eyes and laughed. "You can't dance, that's the real reason we never went to those things." It was easier to think that, than the truth she kept buried: Ty didn't want to dance with her.

"Hrumph," the Colonel snorted. He was caught in a crossroad of time. Go forward and leave behind all he had learned about prejudice or go back to the old way, where Jen would be forever out of reach. Taking a deep breath, he took a small step forward, "Stan had more to say about that day."

"He did?" She was surprised the older sailor would remember one race so well.

"Yes, he said you and I made a good team, that we compliment each other." The change in McQueen's voice took all the laughter out of her, as she turned to stare at him. "Did you miss me while I was gone, Jen?"

"Of course, Ty," Jenny recovered as fast as she could. "We're friends and I was worried about your health, though I was a bit busy while you were gone," she tried to make light of the subject.

"No, Jen, it's more than that," he took a step closer to her and watched her move back. "We've both been running from it, and you still are."

"Oh, who said I was running?" Her chin in the air she would face him straight on, but hoped her emotions didn't crumble before she could get him out of her quarters.

"I never pegged you for a coward!" He baited her.

"You don't know me at all, McQueen," she took another step back as she felt her control beginning to unravel. "What's brought this on all of the sudden?"

"How about almost dying?" He took another slow step toward her, only to have her move back. "Or almost losing you?"

"Stop! Wait! Don't say something you'll only regret later." Jen gasped, laying two fingers against his lips to keep his words in. Her back against the bulkhead, no where else to run.

"Regret, why will I regret it? We need to talk this out," he reached for her, but the look of fear that crossed her face stopped him inches away.

"Because you're right I am a coward." Her breathing hitched as she said what she really believed, "you've been through a lot in the last six months. What you're feeling is classic transference. Feelings of gratitude mixed with our existing friendship." Jenny was a realist, she believed that Ty was in love with Amy. But even if he wasn't, Jen didn't think he could love her. She knew that if she let him in and pretended for even a short time, she would shatter when he discovered his mistake and left.

"Talk to me, Jen." McQueen curled his hands around her upper arms in an attempt to bridge the gap between them. "What are you so afraid of? I care about you, I'd never hurt you."

"Stay away from me!" There was real fear in Jen's voice. She knew if he didn't let go of her, she would give in to anything he wanted, and when it was over, she wouldn't even have his friendship.

"You're wrong about what you think I feel," he took a step away and let go of her. But she remained tight against the bulkhead. The fear in her eyes hurting him in ways he didn't understand.

"Are you sure about that?" For a moment she dared to hope, even as she argued against it. *"Maybe there was a chance?"* But even as the thought surfaced, she denied it. "This isn't the first time you've almost died." Her breath caught in her throat as she thought about the months she spent believing he had been killed with the rest of the Angels. "What makes this time so special?" She shook her head trying to understand what was going on. While a loud voice shouted in her head, *"trust him just one more time!"*

McQueen felt equal parts anger and caring as his eyes moved over the marks left on her from fighting the AI. They were too similar to when she was mugged in Houston. He felt himself slipping back to old doubts and fears for her safety.

"I don't know, exactly, but I do know we need to talk about what's going on between us." He hoped she could help him find the answers to his questions, but there was more to it than that. "You're important to me in ways I never realized before. I want us to find the answers together. But don't worry, no one else will know about it. I'll be careful, this time," his right hand moved across her neck and came to rest on the burn scar that was a symbol to McQueen of all the reasons why a relationship between an in-vitro and a natural-born were dangerous. "I'd never compromise the situation by letting others know what was going on."

"What?" She exploded, pushing his arm away from her. He had cared about Amy enough to put up with all the prejudice that a 'mixed' couple could run into, but he wasn't willing to face that with her. "Get away from me! You're not playing fair," Jen fought to keep from crying. She had no doubt that Ty believed what he was saying, but his real feelings had shown through with his desire to keep things between themselves. "I've known for a while now that you, well........a.......desired me, or think you do. That's not the same as caring. As I said before, what you're feeling is transference. It's common enough, patients feeling things for their doctor that have no basis in reality. We just make it worse because of our friendship and this damn...attraction!"

McQueen frowned, she was admitting she felt things for him, but was fighting it. He didn't understand why she was throwing up walls, when they needed to work this through and figure out what was really between them. It was the logical thing to do! If this were any other woman but Jen, he would be kissing her silly, and letting tomorrow take care of itself.

"I'm guessing from your presence here that Ross told you what I said to convince him to let the 58th mount a rescue mission for Damphousse and Vansen." She licked her lips and pulled at the last shreds of courage she had left. "I'm sorry he broke my confidence. Let me assure you that you needn't worry. I'll never presume on you. No matter what my feelings are, I'll do my job and get through this war, then never bother you again."

"Jen, wait..." He fought to break through her walls, but her expression had turned to ice.

"No, let me say this, it needs to be said!" She glared at him, holding out her arms to keep him away. "I know you think you have feeling for me, but it would only lead to grief." She refused to listen to the voice inside of her that was shouting, *"what if you're wrong. You've always trusted Ty. At least hear what he has to say."* "I would never take advantage of what you think you're feeling now. And for me, I refuse to be anyone's second choice! Someone that you settle for because you can't have who you really want. I'd rather live my life alone than to do that."

"Jen, you don't know what you're saying," McQueen was struck by a feeling of loss as her words hit him. "What gives you the right to decide for both of us?"

"I'm trying to salvage what I can of our friendship," she wasn't sure which one of them she was trying to convince. "Please, if you care even the slightest for me, leave!"

"I'm going," he moved to the hatch, knowing he would regret it for the rest if his life if he didn't finish this conversation. "But it isn't over, yet!"

It was hours later, as sleep evaded her, that Jenny realized McQueen had never given her back her bracelet. "Damn," she muttered as she punched her pillow. "Why is he choosing now to be so contrary!"

The Colonel was sitting in the alcove, watching the stars and his future slipping by him. His hand moved automatically for his dog tags. It was then that he realized he still had the gold chain that had brought him through so much in the last two weeks. "No, Jen my girl, this isn't over by a long shot!" He smiled as the warm gold filled his hand.
............................................

September 13, 2064, 2030 hours McQueen's Alcove

McQueen spent the hours sitting and watching the stars. His confrontation with Jenny had left him feeling confused and hollow. Some parts of his life were clearer than they ever had been before and others were out of focus in a way he had never imagined.

"Ty?" Glen Ross leaned against the bulkhead and watched his friend. "I thought we had a card game this evening?"

"Sorry I wasn't paying attention to the time," he smiled. "I had some thinking to do."

"We'll be within range of Minerva by the day after tomorrow, if we're lucky and keep evading Chig patrols, as we've been doing so far."

"I'd like to send the 'Cards in, Sir. They know McKendrick and the area." McQueen wanted badly to go with his squad, but knew he was ship bound for the next few months while his leg finished healing.

"I've talked to Voss and he says Damphousse won't be back to active duty status until next week, due to her wrist. The bone healing drug works wonders, but it takes time for the new bone to be laid down. That'll leave them two short, three if you count the fact we've never replaced Kelly Winslow." Ross knew the subject of a replacement for Wang was a sore one, but it needed to be dealt with.

"Mitch Connelly would be valuable on this assignment," McQueen had been going over the man's record and was impressed. "If things work out, I'd like to take what's left of the 29th, to fill out the 58th." Only Connelly and Lt. Maria Del Mar of the 29th, had returned from Demios. Both pilots had been at loose ends, filling in when squadrons were short, until new recruits could be shipped to the Saratoga.

"He works well with your people, and Del Mar is an excellent pilot," Ross had been thinking alone the same lines, but was glad to have McQueen suggest it. "I think it would be more comfortable for all concerned, than to bring in a newbe."

"Commodore....., Glen," McQueen cleared his throat as he turned to his friend. "I want you to have this," he handed over a letter he had written that morning, shortly after they had picked up the 58th from 2063Y.

Frowning, Ross read what the Colonel had handed him. "Ty, do you know what you're doing?" The Commodore couldn't believe what he had read.

"I'm resigning my commission. I realize that won't be effective until six months after peace is declared, but you've been too good a friend to me for me not to tell you."

"But why?" Ross watched his friend carefully. "What brought this on?"

"I've been thinking about it for months," McQueen sighed. "I used to believe that the worst enemy of a soldier was doubt, but I was wrong, it's caring. Especially, if that soldier is in a position of command. When the 58th stepped off that ISSCV this morning, any doubts that were still lingering about that where blown away."

"What will you do? The Corps has been your life," Ross shook his head. Things were changing to fast around him.

McQueen pulled another letter out of his flightsuit, "I got this while on the Clara." He took a picture out of the envelope and handed it to Ross, "that's the Black Gull, I helped design and build her, while on leave, the year before the war."

"She's beautiful!" Ross admired the smooth classic lines of the racing sloop. Her hull and sails as dark as night. "Though I don't know much about ships like this," but he knew a woman who knew a great deal about these kinds of boats and he couldn't help smiling.

"Lars Morgans did most of the work, but I helped," McQueen could feel the satisfaction he had gotten seeing his design come to life. "He sent me that picture and the specs on another boat that he's has been asked to build, after the owner saw the Gull. I started working on it while I was on the Clara and if time allows, will do it here."

"So you plan on going into business with this man when the war is over?"

"No, I can't. Lars works for Jen, and she's made it pretty clear that she doesn't want me around." McQueen tried to sound casual, but wasn't sure he pulled it off. Then a thought struck him. "Glen, what did she say to you that convinced you to let her go looking for Vansen and Damphousse?"

The question was asked so matter-of-factly, it caught Ross off guard. "She said a lot of things, she was pretty intense that morning," the Commodore dodged McQueen's question. "Why do you ask?"

"Something she said to me earlier," he cocked his head at the Commodore as the silence lengthened. "You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"No. That's between the two of you," Ross stood and faced his friend. "Jenny wasn't herself that morning and I think she said a lot of things that she wouldn't have, under normal circumstances. My advice to you is to give her some breathing room. One thing I can tell you, is she has this crazy idea that it's her fault the Wildcards went down and she feels the same way about your leg."

"That's nonsense," McQueen shook his head at the foolishness of women. "What gave her that idea?"

"The morning the 58th went to Kazbek she made a deal with the Universe or God or whatever you want to call it. Anyway, if 'It' would keep you people safe, she wouldn't do something she wanted very badly to do." Ross shrugged, hoping he wasn't giving away too much of what Jenny had told him. "Somewhere along the line she feels she reneged on her deal. Then everything went to hell."

"Damn, why didn't she tell me any of this?"

"She couldn't," Ross smiled sadly.

"But she could tell you?" McQueen didn't like the idea that Jen was confiding in Ross, when she used to talk to him.

"I was the only one who could help her accomplish her objective. Even then I don't think she would have told me, if she hadn't been so upset." He turned to his friend, "she believed your message from the Clara. She truly believed they were alive, and they were."

"Yeah, she told me," McQueen sighed. "She said she had faith in what I said. I was out of my head from the injury and medication from surgery and she believed me. It doesn't make anymore sense than her believing she was to blame for what happened."

"Ty, she always believes you," Ross wanted to shake his friend and tell him to 'wake up and smell the coffee,' before it was too late.

"No, she doesn't," McQueen shook his head. "Not always."

"If it's important to you, you'd better do something about it," Ross turned to leave, then thought better of it. "McQueen, when you do hash it out with her, be very sure that you say what you really mean. If you hurt her, you'll have me to answer to and it won't be a pretty sight!"
............................

Wildcards' Quarters, 2200 hours same night:

Maria Del Mar and Mitch Connelly were moved into the Wildcards' quarters. As the young Marines looked at the three empty bunks, the tension grew in the room. Maria picked up her gear and made a quick decision, "I'll be damned if I'll let them move some stranger into Wang's spot. I'll take this bunk." Everyone nodded as the soft spoken woman moved across the room to place her things where Paul had slept. "Unless 'Phousse wants it?"

"I asked her this afternoon, and she says she wants to stay where she is," Shane patted the bunk above hers.

"Okay, that's settled," West smiled as Connelly took Winslow's old bunk. "That only leaves the issue of call signs. You guys adverse to taking new ones?"

"No, problem with me," Del Mar looked up, sadly. "How about you Mitch?"

Hawkes grinned when Mitch agreed. "Well Connelly, since we've all played cards with you, I think we've got you covered," the other Marines groaned and agreed. "But what about you, Maria?"

"Me?" She gave them her impish grin. "There's only one name for me, if I'm going to be a Wildcard, 'Aces 'N Eights'...."

"But....that's a dead man's hand," Shane protested. "You don't want that!"

"Oh, yes I do," Maria turned to face the rest of her new squad. "My Grandmama was the medicine woman of her village in Mexico. Grandfather was an American, who was injured while camping. He wandered into the village mad with fever. Anyway when he left, she went with him. He always said she had The Sight, and I believe him. I was born on the Day Of The Dead, November 1st. She used to call me, Aces 'N Eights. Said it would bring me luck one day. Now I guess I know why she gave me that nickname. Among her people we honor the dead, even the ones we KILL," her eyes turned deadly as she thought of the revenge she would reap on the Chigs for the loss of the 29th.

During the two days it took to get to Minerva, McQueen and Jenny kept their distance. Both knew that a confrontation between them was inevitable, but both wanted to put it off for as long as possible.

McQueen ran his squad through a number of simulations, watching and approving how the two new members worked with the original group. Connelly was gone whenever the sims weren't being run, working with Cpt. Fisher and the small team they had put together trying to decode the AI information.
...................................

The Saratoga in orbit of Minerva, September 16, 0630 hours:

"All right people, listen up," McQueen walked into the briefing room and got the immediate attention of his Marines. "The mission is a simple extraction. We need to do this quickly and with precision. Our objective is Major Cyril McKendrick, an underground operative who has been hiding on this planet for the last year. Lts. Connelly and Del Mar haven't met the man, but the rest of you have. We haven't been able to establish radio contact with the Major, but it is imperative that you go in and bring him out, along with any data he has collected in the last year."

The Colonel's eyes swept the group of Marines. It took him a moment to realize he had been looking for the eager face of Paul Wang. Catching his breath, he pulled himself back to the present and continued. "We have no recent intell on Minerva, so be prepared for anything. In the past this planet has been occupied by both AI's and Chigs, so watch your six. The last time we were here, the AI's we ran into were dying of the virus, but take nothing for granted. I'll be on the bridge monitoring. You are to maintain radio silence unless there is trouble. Meet on the ISSCV at 0700." Looking at his watch, he called out the time, "0642, ready, ready, hack. Good luck people!"
...........................

Minerva September 16, 2064 - 0800 hours:

Major McKendrick had been working through the night again. He had cracked the AI code, but decoding all the transmissions of the last few months was a long and tedious job. His time was running out and he knew it. Somehow the few remaining AI's were aware of his presence. The Major was involved in a race. Stay hidden until the virus killed them, or they found him and killed him: winner take all. The Chigs had pulled out a few weeks ago, when information came to them of a major offensive, so he only had the one enemy to deal with.
...........................

Saratoga Bridge

McQueen fought the urge to pace. He was a man of economical movements, but it took every bit of self-control to subdue his nervous energy. He could picture the terrain around McKendrick's bunker. It was rough open ground, where his Marines would have little cover if they were attacked. The 58th had been gone two hours and wouldn't be back for at least another hour, even if things went like clock work. What he was feeling underscored his need to resign his commission once the war was over. Damning his leg and the need to stay aboard ship, he sat at his post, determined to remain there until the Wildcards were home.

It caught him up short to realize that he was letting feelings rule him, instead of logic. Up until now he had been telling himself that it was the logical thing to do. Resign because he wasn't as good a commander as he had been. Keeping one ear open for the radio, he concentrated on the problem at hand, feelings versus logic. Who would have thought he would find himself fighting that battle? It was the damn dreams that had awakened a part of him that he didn't know existed.

McQueen looked down at his pocket computer and realized he had been writing down the questions that had been bothering him for days. Now if he could only answer them!

1. What is my 'genuine path'?
2. Who can I become?
3. Who was I? What am I now? (Why did I change?)
4. Why wouldn't I let Jen go to Kazbek?
5. Where is my home?
..........................

The radio crackled to life, and brought the bridge crew to attention. "Saratoga, this is the 5-8 we are 20 mikes out, and coming in with wounded."

"We've got company coming," Com. Chang called from his position at LIDAR.

"All hands to battle stations," Ross nodded to Chang, as he moved quickly to stand behind McQueen.

"Launch Hammerheads," McQueen ordered, as he looked over at Ross. "Notify Sickbay of incoming causalities, Commander."

"Yes, Sir," Chang moved through the motions he had gone through hundreds of times in the last year.
..........................

McQueen's Quarters 2030 hours that night:

McQueen stumbled into his quarters, exhausted from the day. Every muscle in his body hurt as he moved to his shower. He stood under the hot water, as it beat against his back, his forehead leaning against the wall. Gripped tightly in his right hand was the bracelet he still had on his dog tags. He tried to wash the horror of what had almost happened from his mind, but he didn't think all the water on the Saratoga would be able to do that. Finally as his muscles begin to loosen their grip, he let his mind move back over the events of the day.
.......................

It had been bad enough to have to send the 58th off without him, and the hours he had waited for their return had been hard, but it was nothing he hadn't experienced before. He had finally taken an easy breath when the ISSCV was safely back on the Saratoga.

"McQueen you better get down to the Launch Bay, there's a problem," Ross whispered tersely. "McKendrick was hit by one of those new exploding rounds that we've been hearing so much about. Jenny is trying to remove it in the Bay, before it goes off. Go on man, I'll cover your post!"

The Colonel had taken off at a run, but he hadn't been fast enough. Jen had managed to trick her two Corpsman into leaving the Bay, and had closed and locked the crash doors. All he could do was watch on the small monitor to the right of the door, as she and Joan Brill worked on McKendrick's leg.

"Colonel McQueen," Corpsman Trosper had lunged for the emergency release mechanism. "We've got to get in there and help. I can't leave Lady-Doc and the Commander in there alone."

"You will do nothing of the kind," Ty's voice cracked, as he issued the order. He would have given his soul to be beside Jen, but the medical team had already begun working. If the unexploded cartridge went off before Jen was able to get it into the protective box that had been brought in, the only thing that would save the Saratoga was the pressure locked Bay doors. The exterior walls of the Bay had been specially constructed to take the impact of an explosion and blow outward, protecting the ship. The Carrier would be intact, but lose one of its Launch Bays. Jenny had known exactly what she was doing when she locked herself in there with Joan Brill.

"But Sir...." Trosper stopped mid-sentence when he saw the look of ice in the Colonel's eyes, before the grim older man turned quickly back to the monitor.

It had been the longest ten mikes of McQueen's life as he watched Jenny work on the wounded man. His heart caught in his throat when he saw her stand and wheel around to run for the Explosive Discharge Box. A pair of long slim forceps in her hand, at the end of which was the deadly charge. She had made it almost to the box when the Saratoga shifted. McQueen fisted his hands at his sides as he watched her retain her footing and toss the explosive, forceps and all in the box and slam the lid closed. She hadn't gone two feet when the box roared as it jumped in the air and burst into flames. Both women were knocked to the deck as smoke filled the room from the burning box.

Seconds later McQueen and Trosper flew through the door. The Colonel grabbed a fire extinguisher to put out what was left of the fire, and the Corpsman checked on McKendrick and the medical team.

"Get the Major down to Sickbay," Jenny choked, her eyes watering and her voice scratchy from breathing smoke. "I'll be along in a minute."

"What the hell did you two think you were doing?" McQueen ground out as his icy stare brushed the Doctor and Joan Brill."

"The only thing we could have done, given the situation," Jen shivered from the expression on McQueen's face. "If we'd taken him to Sickbay and that shell went off, the port side of the ship might have gone, maybe more." She wished her head would stop pounding so she could think clearly.

"And don't worry........Sir, Major McKendrick will be fine." Turning quickly to follow the stretcher, she listed slightly and would have lost her footing, except for the familiar hand that caught her elbow.

"Jen," Ty whispered, as she instinctively gripped the black flightsuit covered arm that had helped her maintain her balance.

"Thank you, Colonel," the Doctor, tossed hair out of her eyes and looked up into McQueen's grim face. "But I'm fine now," taking a deep breath, she pulled her arm free of his grip and walked with as much dignity as she could, out of the Bay.

"Ty," Joan touched his arm in an attempt to give what comfort she could. "She's wasn't hurt, and there really wasn't anything else we could have done."

"She's been taking too many chances lately," McQueen looked into the worried eyes of the nurse.

"There's a war on, Colonel," she arched her brow, as her voice cracked. "Loses are part of war........."

"Joan, I'm sorry," McQueen shook himself, as he remembered too late that Joan's oldest daughter had died when the Eisenhower was lost over Demios.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to," the nurse gave him a challenging looking and left him alone in the blackened Launch Bay.
..........................

McQueen had been exhausted when his head hit his pillow, now he kept seeing Jen with her face smudged and her hair disheveled, looking slightly groggy from the compression of the blast. At the time he had been so angry he didn't know which he wanted to do more, kiss her or shake her. Now, he knew he wanted to do both. *"She had no business taking risks like that,"* he thought as he turned over, and finally felt himself falling asleep. *"But what else could she have done?"*

McQueen became aware of the sound of Johnny Cash singing about being so 'doggone lonesome'. Looking into the shadows, he saw he wasn't in his quarters anymore, but in a large open space, standing in the middle of a road that stretch on forever in both directions. In a distance he saw the form of Ray Butts leaning against a sign post.

"What the hell!"

"I was beginning to think you were going to ignore me forever," the dead Recon Colonel moved closer, the click of his boots the only other sound besides the music. "You almost lost her for good this time didn't you, McQueen?" Butts' gravelly voice caught the Colonel by surprise. "First that damn AI, then this afternoon, an explosive device."

"What the hell are you doing here?" McQueen looked around in the dark, there weren't any stars in the sky. Just the road that lead to nowhere, Butts and himself, wearing the sweat pants he had been sleeping in.

"She's not going to let you keep her safe is she?" The dead man shook his head, "women like that have no place in this man's Corps. They get a hold of your heart and never let go. And they don't know shit about following orders."

"How do you know all this?" McQueen had been trying to dismiss the earlier dreams as anesthesia induced, but it had been too long since his surgery for that, now.

"You'd be surprised," ice would have been warmer than the expression in Butts' eyes. "You're going to lose that little doctor of yours and it's going to cost you more than you realize. She's scared, McQueen. She's watched you die once already, then received the deathgram from the Marines to prove it. She's going to keep pushing you away unless you do something about it."

"You don't know what you're talking about!" The in-vitro shook his head denying what he was seeing and hearing.

"Don't I? Back in '52, in Karakoram, there was a woman. Her name was Victoria. She was a civilian metallurgist with the 3rd. Armored Division. She was smart, beautiful, and could have had any man she wanted. But she only wanted one: me. If that don't beat all?" The dead man shook his head at the memory.

"What does this have to do with anything?" McQueen didn't want to listen to Butts, he had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as to where this story led.

"It has to do with *everything*, Tank," Butts roared. "We'd been fighting for months to take the Hindu Kush Mountains, but winter comes early there, and we already had feet of snow. We should have been back at base, but we weren't. That idiot Dawson was convinced he could pull a surprise attack by way of Ali Bhutto Pass, gaining victory and lower altitude at the same time.

"Hindu Kush, a good name, it means Hindu Slaughter." Butts paced, then stood and looked McQueen in the eyes. "I convinced him to let me do a quick recon of the area. The night before I left, Victoria begged me to stay. She said if we were going to die, we were going to die, and there was nothing I could do about it. It turned out she was partially right. I got captured. The CC's tortured me for days. I didn't care what they did to me. There was no way I was going to break. I figured I was buying time for the 3rd. What I didn't know was that SHE was already laying dead in the Pass. Slaughtered. Dawson had another vision the night I left and moved them out."

"Are you telling me that Jen's going to die?" McQueen whispered.

"I don't know," Butts shook his head. "It twists your gut to think about it, doesn't it? If it happens, the day you die, you'll still be thinking about it, trying to figure out what you could've done differently." Butts nodded his head at a memory. "You don't get it do you? If I had stayed as Tory asked, I couldn't have saved her, but I'd have only outlived her long enough to kill the bastard who killed her."

"I'd give my life to keep Jen safe," Ty looked at Butts, feeling a kinship with the man he never would have believed.

"She would do the same for you. What do you think has been driving her these last months? She hasn't been thinking about herself. She's been thinking about the people you care about and you," Butts spat the words out.

"You don't know that!" McQueen challenged.

"I know, McQueen, because *you* know. You can't stop her, but you can make it easier for both of you, but you won't, will you? She's scared not for herself, but for you. She watched you die with the rest of the Angels. She sent you off to almost certain death at Kazbek. She gave you support when you went out to fight von Richthofen, alone," Butts watched McQueen as the last year played through his mind. "Why should she let you in, when you don't even have the guts to say the words she needs to hear!"

"I tried, but she wouldn't listen," McQueen argued.

"Bull shit, you did!" Butts shook his head. "If you'd said what she needed to hear, you wouldn't be sleeping alone."

"Now wait just a damn minute!" Ty lunged toward the other man.

"What are you going to do, hit me?" Butts laughed at the indignant look on the other man's face. "I'm just a dream remember."

"If you're a dream, get the hell out of here!" McQueen demanded. "My relationship with Jen isn't like that. I'd never use her, or take a chance on her getting hurt because of me."

"That's the real problem isn't it, you're just as afraid as she is?" Butts' voice softened as he remember a woman who had been dead years longer than he had. "Women like that have no business loving men like us, and we have no business loving them, but when it happens, grab on with both hands, McQueen, because it's the best think that'll ever happen to you. You can't stop her lovin' you, all you can do is drive her away and break her heart and most likely yours, too. Don't make my mistake," Butts became a whisper in the darkness as he headed down the long road until he was only a shadow in the distance. The last thing McQueen heard as he was left staring at the emptiness, was an indistinct, "you might not be as lucky as I was."

McQueen turned in his bunk and shook himself awake. It took him a moment to realize he had been dreaming. "Damn," he muttered as he pulled a t-shirt over his head, grabbed his pocket computer and headed out of his quarters.

The deserted Mess Hall was dark except for the small light over the all-night coffee pot. McQueen stood in the shadows beside the corner table where he and Paul had talked months ago. His cup of coffee growing cold as he stared out at the stars trying to find an answer that he knew could only be found within him.

"Colonel," Cooper Hawkes, moved quietly behind his commanding officer. "You all right, Sir?"

"Sure Hawkes," McQueen turned absent mindedly toward the young in-vitro. "What are you doing up so late?"

"I saw you heading this way and just wanted to be sure you were okay," Coop watched the older in-vitro as he moved to the table. The young man was still amazed at how well the Colonel had recovered from his injury.

"Hhmm....I'm a Marine, Hawkes, I don't need you to watch over me."

"Sir, you don't need me to watch over you, because you've already got someone doing that job," Cooper stopped and looked at McQueen, then decided he would go for broke. "Did you know Lady-Doc talks in her sleep?"

"She having nightmares again?"

"No, Sir, not exactly,"

"On the Yorktown, before the war," McQueen smiled remembering long ago. "The Angry Angels always knew how worried she was about us, by what she would say in her sleep. When she's awake, she hides her fears pretty well, but when Jen's asleep it comes tumbling out, usually about 0300."

"I had the watch at that time on 2063 Yankee," Hawkes tried to sound casual. "The Lady-Doc had plenty to say........"

"That's understandable....." McQueen ground to a halt as Hawkes shook his head.

"She talked about you...and well, it was personal," Hawkes stood and began to move away from the table.

"Hawkes," the Colonel called out. "Thank you for telling me."

"Sir," Coop turned back to his mentor. "I did what I could to make it easier for her. None of the others know and I don't think she realized she was talking in her sleep."

"She never realized it before," the older man smiled. Life had suddenly become easy for him. "And we never told her. The Angels decided that she did so much to take care of us, if we listened carefully, we would know how to take care of her."

"You plannin' on doing that?" Hawkes watched McQueen with growing curiosity.

"That's easier said than done. Jen can be damn stubborn when she sets her mind to it." The Colonel looked up at Hawkes and grinned, "but then so am I."

"My money's on you Colonel," Hawkes laughed as he left the older man alone with the stars.

McQueen turned on his hand computer. It was still open to the file that contained the information from his dreams. Shaking his head at how simple it had all become, he tapped in the word JEN, then closed the file. Now, all he had to do was figure out how to convince her.
......................................

Saratoga Sickbay September 17, 2064- 0700 hours:

"How are you feeling this morning Major McKendrick?" Dr. Kirkwood checked over the notes the night nurse had left.

"How marvelous, a lady doctor," the Major smiled. "I'm doing much better since you and the nice Commander got that nasty shell out of me, though you took quite a chance."

"I hope it wasn't too painful," Jenny checked his bandaged thigh. "I'm sorry, I know I started working before the pain block took full effect."

"Never you mind that. It was something that needed to be done, and quickly," McKendrick patted her hand. "After I was hit, I tried to tell the young Marines that I shouldn't even be brought aboard the shuttle, let alone the Saratoga! They were quiet insistent, though. I've met them before, they're always very insistent!"

"I think that would be an accurate description," the Doctor smiled. "They had a good teacher."

"I want to thank you," the Major turned serious. "What you and your nurse did was one of the bravest things I've ever seen."

"Brave!" Jenny shook her head. "Not brave, a bit desperate maybe, but not brave. I don't think I've ever been as afraid in my life as I was when I realized what you were saying about the round in your leg. I'm surprised my hands didn't shake so much I set the darn thing off before I could get it out of you."

"To have not been afraid, would have been foolish," he spoke kindly. "The actions one takes when most afraid are the ones that determine if one is brave or not."

"Not everyone shares your opinion, Major," the memory of Ty's public tongue lashing stung.

"You're speaking about the angry Colonel McQueen?" The Major remembered his last run-in with the Marine, "he can be a tough bastard when he wants to be, but he knows a lot about bravery, too." The Major had seen what Jenny had missed: the expression of fear on McQueen's face when the doors first opened.

"Flattery will get you nowhere, McKendrick," both the Doctor and the Major looked up to see McQueen leaning against the hatchway.

"Colonel, a bit early aren't you?" Jenny moved between McQueen and her patient. She wondered how much of the conversation he had overheard. "We aren't through with morning rounds. If you will excuse us, please!" She moved toward the open hatch to close him out.

"And good-morning to you too, Jen," the Colonel smiled at her as his eyes looked her over from head to toe.

For one moment Jenny's breath caught in her throat, she felt nailed to the deck by the way he was looking at her. "Out, McQueen," her voice rumbled as she tried to push the hatch closed on him.

"Commodore Ross and I'll be back in about an hour, Major," he spoke to the Major, but his eyes never left the Doctor's face. "I'll see you later too, Jen."

"Well, well, it looks as if the tough Colonel has warmed up a bit since the last time I met him," the Major grinned at the Doctor.

Jenny stomped out of McKendrick's bay, the morning wasn't starting out at all well. She decided that at the first sign of Ross and McQueen she was going to make herself scarce. She didn't think her nervous system could take much more of Ty's games. What was he trying to pull, making it look as if....as if they were.....? Jen bit her lip to keep her mind away from the look in his eyes. She wondered briefly, if they would Court Martial her, if she killed him. After all, what was one irritating Colonel more or less. The Marines had plenty of them to spare!
............................

O830 McKendrick's Bay:

"Major, what is about to be discussed here today, is classified and compartmentalized." Commodore Ross looked at the serious faces of the people in the room. "You already know Colonel McQueen. This is Captain Fisher, and I believe you've met Lieutenant Connelly."

"Commodore, it is a pleasure to meet all of you," McKendrick smiled at his visitors. His eyes rested on McQueen for just a moment, as he added, "it's wonderful, you Yanks, have so many lovely women on board." The older man grinned as he watched the Colonel's eyes freeze over.

The five people spent the next hour going over the information McKendrick could add to what was already known about the AI virus. If what the Major was telling them was correct, the AI's were being wiped out one planet at a time.

"What I still don't understand is how the virus was transmitted?" Connelly looked through the print-outs that McKendrick had transcribed.

"I think it was originally placed on Minerva," the Major thought back over all he had discovered in the last year. "I believe that was to be a testing ground to see if it really worked.

"I do know that once the virus was recognized, there were nothing but income transmissions. As if the AI's on Minerva realized the disease could be spread, if they contacted their main network. Check through the records you have from 2063Y, I think, you'll find there is only one outgoing message sent from Minerva, after the beginning of April and it was sent by your squadron, Col. McQueen."

"The last time we were on Minerva," McQueen could picture Shane helping Paul by retrieving the information he wanted so badly. "We tried to download information from the AI mainframe. The Elroy model we used, had the virus, but was dying from wounds received in battle."

"If the message you sent was accepted, it would be enough to spread the virus to the mainframe. Anything that was sent from the hub, from then on, would also contain the virus." Fisher dug through the information she had, trying to find a reference to Minerva. "Yes, here it is, April 20, 2064, though the content of the message was deleted."

"The mainframe has always had defense mechanisms on it, that's why we've never been able to find it." Connelly had studied the AI's and the mainframe that was their central hub, when in school. "After the AI's left Earth, they recreated a hub somewhere in space."

"That explains how the virus was spread off Minerva," Fisher shrugged. She hadn't missed the look that had passed between McQueen and Ross, they knew more than they were saying. She was glad this was a need to know assignment. There were some things she never wanted to learn about and who had accidentally spread the virus was one of them.

"Commodore, Colonel, may I have a moment alone with you?" McKendrick nodded toward Fisher and Connelly as they left the room. "There is one other thing you should know, but it is of a delicate nature," McKendrick cleared his throat. "As you probably know, I was with Supply before the massacre on Minerva. Most people don't know this, but every message that is sent anywhere off Earth has a scrambled code unique to the sender embedded in the body of the message. I know about it because I did some sensitive work long before I was sent to rot at the supply depot on Io."

"Are you telling us you know who planted the virus?" Ross was interested in knowing, but he didn't see the importance. Someone from Earth was using biological warfare against the AI's. Not exactly ethical, but AI's only played by the rules when it suited them.

"Yes, but more importantly, the same people sent out information about a huge Earth offensive in late August. I believe it was called......"

"Operation Roundhammer?" Ross and McQueen finished for him.

"Yes! That's the one. After almost no communication from the AI's, all of the sudden, messages started coming in very fast," the Major remembered sitting up nights trying to decode the transmissions. "And the AI's on Minerva would send messages to the Chigs."

"Do you know whose code was being used to give this information to the enemy?" McQueen whispered, his mouth going dry as he thought of Savage's accusations about Stryker and Hayden.

"Carleton Stryker sent the virus and Diane Hayden sent the information about Operation Roundhammer," McKendrick whispered as if the walls had ears. "Both of them sent numerous messages to Minerva. One of the earliest ones I found, requested an AI infiltration of the Saratoga back in early February."

"The Elroy that blew up the Sewell Fuel," Ross whispered as McQueen nodded in agreement. "It doesn't make sense, why would they help the Chigs with battle information, at the same time they're creating a virus to kill AI's? Is there any way these codes can be faked?" Ross needed to be very sure of his information.

"No, if the codes are tampered with, a shadow is left behind, a finger print of the person who does the tampering, so to speak," McKendrick had helped develop that part of the code and knew without a doubt that the tracking system was reliable. "It was developed during the AI war, to prevent them from raiding our component supplies and computer information. It wasn't common knowledge and only those on a need to know basis were allowed access. I can only assume that the safeguard was left in place after the AI's were driven off Earth to help prevent their return."

"Did Aerotech know about the codes?" McQueen couldn't believe Hayden and Stryker could have made an error of this magnitude.

"It would be very unlikely," McKendrick cleared his throat as he decided how much more he was willing to say. "Actually the code is early Geek-Squad work."

"The M5 Computer Black-Ops unit?" Ross felt a chill run down his spine. "I didn't think they really existed."

"I assure you, Commodore, they are very real," the Major smiled.

Ross reassessed the mild fatherly looking man sitting in the hospital bed across from him. Anyone who believed in the Brit's CBO, spoke about them with the greatest of respect, often generated by fear. The term Geek-Squad was only used by those on the inside.

"I was an early drop-out, but my.......interesting knowledge, shall we say? Made me perfect for a supply hub on Io in the last years of the AI rebellion. You're right to think of them with respect. I wouldn't play their game and they saw to it most of my career was spent doing drudgery. I know where enough bodies are buried, figuratively speaking, to assure you that you needn't concern yourself about them." The Major's eyes turned hard and cold, "they'll play ball on this one, it's too big to let slide."
..............................

Saratoga Rec Room, September 17, 1600 hours:

McQueen sat at a computer terminal, staring at the face of a dead woman. He hadn't been able to let go of his dream about Butts the night before. Was this woman, this Victoria Elizabeth Henning, Ph.D. the woman Butts had been talking about? He remembered doing a thorough background check on Butts a year ago when the other man had commandeered the 58th. Had he seen this woman's picture when looking through the files on Karakoram and invented the dream from last night?

Laughter from the corner of the room made the Colonel look up and smile. The two new members of the Wildcards were fitting in well. Paul's death was still felt, but since the addition of Del Mar and Connelly, they had lost the shell shocked look that had been in their eyes when they had first gotten back.

"Ask her what her full name is," Connelly laughed. "Go ahead, I dare you!"

"Okay, what's your full name, Maria?" Coop looked a bit confused at the way Connelly was teasing Del Mar.

"It's no big deal really," she rolled her eyes and grinned at Hawkes. "He just thinks it's funny. The attorney here doesn't understand tradition. My full name is Maria Carlotta O'Brien Del Mar."

"O'Brien?" Shane laughed. "It doesn't fit. You don't look a bit Irish," she shook her head at the beautiful dark haired, dark eyed woman.

"My Grandfather, the one who capture the heart of the original Maria Carlotta, while he was lost in the mountains of Mexico, had red hair and freckles," Maria laughed. "I am told that the Irish comes out in my temper."

"I guess we've been warned," Nathan looked around the table.

"How about a game of darts?" Connelly was enjoying some down time, since McKendrick had begun working with the team he and Fisher had assembled, he was back to being a Marine pilot.

"Jenny's springing 'Phousse from Sickbay," Shane pulled back her chair. "The four of us are getting together for the afternoon."

"Jenny and 'Phousse, too?" Coop thought that sounded like a better way to spend the afternoon. "I'll come with you guys."

"Sorry, Hawkes, it's just the girls this afternoon, but Lady-Doc gave 'Phousse the okay to go out tonight, and she promised she'd join us. We'll meet you guys in the Tun this evening." Maria shook her head at the young man, "I doubt you'd enjoy this afternoon much, anyway."

"Aaahh." He nodded in understanding, "girl stuff?"

"Yup," Shane laughed as the two woman headed toward the door.

"We really liked the red nail polish," West snickered at the retreating backs of his female comrades.

"Like we'd do it for you guys?" Maria glared over her shoulder and Vansen gave him a nasty look.

"The last time Damphousse and Vansen got together with Jen, the three of them ended up in tears," McQueen gave Hawkes a bemused expression. "There was a large quantity of wine consumed at the time, so that may have had something to do with it," he smiled as he remembered the women's expressions when they discovered him at their door. "The good Doctor may have let them get drunk in her quarters then, but I doubt she'll allow it now, at least until Vanessa is back to active duty."

"Were they all right? I can't think of anything bad enough to make all three of them cry at once," Hawkes couldn't picture what the Colonel had described, but from the expression on the older man's face, he was being serious.

"According to Jen, they were having a *good time*."

"They were probably watching one of those sloppy chick-flicks," Nathan spoke with the voice of experience. "Kylen loved to do that. She'd sit there with tears rolling down her face, smiling like crazy and saying 'wasn't that beautiful!' The first time it happened, it scared me to death," Nathan grimaced. "It's hard to imagine those three like that, though I'd rather face a squad of Chigs bare-handed than Jenny in tears, again."

"What do you mean, West?" McQueen tried to look casual, but he knew his face had frozen over.

"The night of the peace talks," when Nathan had to talk about that night, that was how he described it. In his heart he thought of it as the night it all ended: his waiting for Kylen; life as he had known it with the 58th; Paul's life; even the Colonel had changed. "It was late, and Hawkes and I were in our quarters trying to convince ourselves that it was all just a nightmare, when Jenny came in. Well, Sir, I've never seen anyone cry like that. She begged us not to make her leave. She was terrified of being left alone," the memory still had the power to shake him. "We held onto her until she cried herself to sleep, then we put her to bed in Winslow's old bunk."

"That night was rough on everyone," Coop felt the need to make excuses. "Women cry. Guys like to tear someone's guts out."

"Yeah, but who'd of figured it, Lady-Doc? She's always....there. I guess I forget she's a woman," Nathan shivered at the memory.

"They want it that way, most of the time," Mitch thought about the woman of the 58th. "They'd bust us in the chops if we treated them as anything but one of the guy."

"Connelly's right," McQueen needed time to examine what West said about Jen. "They regroup in private and will be stronger for it."

"Women, who can figure'em!" Hawkes shook his head in disgust.

"You know what I'd like to know?" Connelly looked around the table at Nathan and Coop, "I'd like to know what Dr. Kirkwood said to Ross to make him change his mind about us going after Vansen and Damphousse? We'd already tried to talk him into it. He wouldn't hear of it. Then bingo! The next thing we know, we're headed off to that strange little planet and Lady-Doc is packing a k-bar and an M-590."

"I'm sure if the Commodore wanted you to know, he would have told you." McQueen looked one last time at the woman on the computer screen, before he turned it off to head back to his quarters. The true story about her was forever buried in Ali Bhutto Pass, but he had a story that still needed an ending. Had West just handed him the key?
............................

September 17, 2000 hours Ross's quarters:

"What a day!" Ross looked across his desk at McQueen. "And this is only the beginning. Once McKendrick begins working on those files full time, who knows what we'll find. Given his background he's an unimpeachable source. Just the bits and pieces he has added to the information Fisher and Connelly have, make it look like we've got one hell of a tiger by the tail!"

"Did you get the information off to Savage?" The Colonel took a drink of scotch, the ramifications of the information McKendrick had unearthed still making him reel.

"Not yet, the Saratoga is running under radio silence until we're across the Von Braun Line." Ross wondered how many encrypted messages he had sent, could be traced back to him. "I always wondered why Savage sent anything important by messenger. All this time I thought he was just old fashioned."

"You think he knew about the encoding?" McQueen looked into the amber liquid in his glass. "I wondered why it was so important to him, that the information I brought you a few days ago be brought in person."

"Frank's an old warhorse, I think the habit of sending vital information by messenger became ingrained during the AI war, and he was never able to let go of it," Ross shrugged, then grinned. "Besides I think he thought there was someone who needed you out here."

"He told me he wanted you to have someone you could trust," McQueen grinned back, refusing to be baited by his friend. "I guess that's me."

The two men sat in silence for a moment as Ross worried over another subject, "what are we going to tell Vansen?" He had been shaken by the irony of Shane being the one to bring down the AI's. "This is going to get out eventually and she will know she's the one to have sent the message. She should hear it from one of us before that."

"I'll tell her," the Colonel leaned forward as he held up his glass of scotch and inhaled the fragrance. "Shane has hated AI's since they killed her parents. That hate has been part of what's driven her through this war. If you fuel a life on hate, you'll burn yourself out. She deserves better than that."

"You realize that if it were common knowledge, she'd probably get a medal."

"I'm not sure it's a medal she'd be very proud of. No matter how much she hated them, genocide is genocide even if it is AI's." McQueen got up to watch the stars from the view port, "I want to thank you for protecting Paul in this matter, Sir."

"Ty, the boy is up for the Congressional Medal Of Honor, I wouldn't do anything that would ruin his chances at that. He deserves it. He gave his life for the Homeward Bound mission," Ross sighed. "Besides, the Suits back there, the World back there, wouldn't be able to understand what he went through. It's not something that can be read about, it has to be felt."

"Yeah," McQueen met Ross' eyes, realizing for the first time that Ross really did understand. He put his glass down, needing to change the subject, "I'd like your permission to get Dr. Kirkwood in on the loop regarding Vansen."

"That's a good idea, though the whole thing is classified, at the moment. She already knows about the virus, the little bit you'd need to tell her wouldn't really matter," Ross' eyes glittered as he looked at his friend and another idea came to mind.

"I'll talk with her about it soon."

"One other thing, Ty. Voss talked to me when you first got back on board. Dr. Turek from the Clara, doesn't want to take any chances with that prosthesis of yours. With things in such an upheaval during this war, they believe I should assign you a permanent physician." Ross looked as serious as he could as he watched his friend's eyes ice over.

"Voss was applying for the job?"

"No," Ross laughed, unable to tease the man any longer. "He suggested Dr. Kirkwood. He seems to feel she has the most luck getting you to cooperate in Sickbay."

"That would mean she'd spend the duration out here?" McQueen turned back to watch the stars.

"Or until you were transferred back to Earth. I know it's not ideal, but it's the best we can do to assure her safety, and yours," Ross got up and joined his friend at the port hole. "Once Savage gets this information it's still going to be a while before it's all sorted out and we have no guarantee that it'll come out as we want it to."

"She could die out here," the truth cut at McQueen.

"We all could," Ross gave his friend's shoulder a supportive squeeze. "She could die anywhere, in some freak accident, war or no war."

"I know that, but it doesn't make it any easier," the Colonel finished his drink and thought for a moment.

"I can't leave her with the Wildcards much longer, that story is growing a bit thin." Ross searched for the words to free his friend to do what they both knew he wanted to do. "This would take her out of your chain of command, except for the fact that you rank her."

"Oh?" The Colonel looked at Ross, his eyes cool, refusing to show the relief he felt. "Why would you need to do that?" He knew he was being handed a gift. Honor was making it hard for him to accept it.

"McQueen, I can think of a number of times in the last year when she has countermanded a direct order given her by her commanding officer. Granted, all those occasions have been in his best interest, because he doesn't know shit about taking care of himself, but this would keep her out of the brig, if some wise ass doctor in Command wanted to cause trouble." Glen raised his eyebrows daring his friend to challenge him on the issue.

"Well in that case?" Ty shrugged, knowing full well that Jen didn't give a damn about chain of command. She'd boss an Admiral around if she thought it was in his best medical interest. "I guess you'll have to see if she's interested in the job."

"I noticed she's been avoiding you," Ross raised his eyebrow. "What'd you do to piss her off?"

"You so sure it was my fault?" McQueen asked with a half smile.

"Yup," Ross laughed at his friend.

"You're right," the other man sighed.

"What happened?

"She's being stubborn and I was my usual diplomatic self," McQueen didn't like how complicated his life had become all of the sudden.
..................................

Half an hour later Ross walked into the Tun Tavern. The Juke Box was playing another of the snappy World War Two songs that had become so popular during this modern war with the Chigs. He could only catch a few of the words, something about 'not sitting under an apple tree with anyone else but me.'

Things looked normal to the Commodore. The bar was about half full, and some of the younger Sailors and Marines were trying to Swing dance along with the old-fashioned music. The Wildcards were at their usual table playing poker. He wasn't sure how McQueen had pulled it off, but the Colonel had Jenny wedged between himself and Hawkes. The young Lieutenant was crowding the Doctor every chance he got, until she was brushing shoulders with the stern looking Colonel. A shot glass of scotch sat between the couple.

Ross hadn't been in the room more than two minutes when he saw the Doctor reach for the scotch while examining her cards. The glass was half way to her nose when she stopped, turned toward an innocent looking McQueen and shoved his glass back toward him.

Hawkes tried to raise the pot higher than table stakes. Mitch Connelly shook his head, "no, you can't do that. According to........" the young Lieutenant was cut off mid-sentence, as five voices groaned in unison.

"........Hoyle!" The others finished his sentence for him.

"Now you know where he got his call sign," Del Mar giggled as she explained to all present.

"And here I thought it was a reference to my legal instincts. You know, always playing by the book?" Connelly laughed along with his friends.

"Yeah right?" Damphousse rolled her eyes as she tossed in her cards. Deciding not to fight it out with Vansen. She was so happy to be out and about, her lack of a good poker hand didn't bother her in the least

"Deal me out," McQueen slid his scotch in front of Jenny, then went to join Ross at the bar.

"Will they throw me in the brig if I dump it on him?" Jen fumed as she pointed to the shot glass. "And you...move over," she gave Coop a shove.

"Hey, I'm a big guy," Hawkes tried to look hurt as he moved slightly away from the angry doctor.

"I'm out, too," she took her unfinished wine and moved to an empty table in the corner. Her shoulder still warm from where it had been plastered against Ty's. As she sat down, the thought that McQueen had put Hawkes up to his little pushing game ran through her mind, but she dismissed it as quickly as it surfaced. *"No,"* she thought. *"Ty, would never do that."*

"We're on it," Shane nodded to 'Phousse and Maria, as she got up, indicating they should join Jenny. "She hasn't been herself since the night 'Phousse and I were lost."

"Wait a sec, guys," Hawkes looked the lovely dark haired Captain in the eyes. "How do we know this isn't the real her?"

"Are you saying we shouldn't check on her?" Vansen watched as the lone woman sent a big Marine on his way, rather than let him join her.

"No," Hawkes shook his head. "That night of the explosion, everything changed for her. She may still be called Lady-Doc on the Saratoga, but on the inside she's Angel-Doc, again. That's got to mean something!"

"You're right, Coop," Shane remembered Jenny telling her Angel-Doc had died the night the Angry Angels did. Wondering what caused the resurrection only made the younger woman worry more. "We can't leave her there alone. She's being hit on by every stray guy that comes along. We'll use a light touch, come on guys."

Hawkes just smiled at Shane. From his seat, he could see Ross and McQueen at the bar. The Colonel wasn't taking his eyes off Jenny sitting in the corner. He watched the Colonel stiffen. Ice blue eyes making the older man's face fierce, as the Doctor sent another man on his way. *"I'd hate to see Jenny caught in a bar fight again,"* Coop thought. The Colonel had shown more restraint than he would have, had it been Shane sitting there alone.

"I think you just pissed her off more," Ross commented to his friend as he watched Jenny alone at a table.

"She'll get over it, I hope," McQueen smiled as he watched the women of the 58th go and join Jenny.

Ross and McQueen stood in companionable silence as they watched people moving around the Tun. Hawkes, West, and Connelly had been joined by Chico Voss. The addition of the fourth, causing the card game to heat up again.

Joan Brill, who had come in with Chico, pulled up a chair at the already crowded table with the woman. They all seemed to be talking at once, hands gesturing and patting one another on the shoulder, in the timeless way of women talking about things that really concern them. The conversations that men shrugged off as 'girl-talk', but never realized the support the women got from it or the impact it could have on the men's lives.

"I'd like to be a fly on the wall and hear what they're saying," McQueen pointed toward Jen's table as another male Marine approached the woman, only to be turned away.

"No you wouldn't, from the expression on the Doctor's face, they're tearing *someone* limb from limb." As another man walked up to Jenny and whispered in her ear, Ross could feel his friend stiffen. "You're not planning on hitting anybody tonight are you?" Ross looked at the table with the women, then at his friend. A fight was the last thing he wanted to get involved in tonight, but he would back McQueen just as the Colonel would back him in a similar situation. "That's the third guy whose asked her to dance since she left the other table."

"Forth," Ty relaxed against the bar, as the Marine walked away.

"What?" Ross wasn't sure what McQueen was talking about.

"The forth guy, not the third," he straightened and glared as Jenny spoke quickly to Shane, causing the younger woman to laugh. "But you're right, something needs to be done."

Ross watched, puzzled as McQueen walked over to the Juke Box and spent some time looking through the selections. When the Colonel returned, his friend looked at him with approval.

"Battle tactics," McQueen smiled, putting aside the beer he had ordered when he joined Ross at the bar. Anything that happened tonight was going to happen with a clear head. "Wait and see."

A few minutes later the sounds of a slow haunting melody from the 1940's, rang through the Tun. "I'm going in fangs out," McQueen gave Ross a nod.

"And take no prisoners," Glen added giving him a thumbs up as the Colonel moved slowly and purposefully toward the table where Jenny had suddenly stopped talking.

From the bar Ross could see Jen had turned to watch with wide eyes as McQueen homed in on her. "Well, take maybe one," he muttered under his breath and leaned back to enjoy the show.

Jenny knew she had been saying something to her friends, but with the first notes of the old song, her mind went blank. "Harbor Lights," she whispered as she shook her head trying to get rid of the image of the day she and McQueen had found the old music box in an antique store in a small community in Southern California, known for it's abundance of antique shops.

"Help me, Joan!" Jenny whispered, as she grasped blindly for the older woman's hand. Gray eyes stayed locked on clear blue ones as the man in a soft black shirt and pants came closer and closer.

"Sorry honey," the older woman smiled, hoping McQueen knew he had her support. "This has been too long in coming. It's time you dealt with it."

"Jenny?" 'Phousse looked at her worriedly, until she looked over her shoulder and saw who her friend was was staring at. "Oh!" 'Phousse grinned and poked Shane in the side, shaking her head as if to say 'I told you so.'

"Dance with me, Jen?" The silver haired man whispered, holding out his hand to her. The other occupants of the small table seemed to hold their breath, until Jenny laid her hand in his and moved to the dance floor with him. Her mouth too dry to answer any other way.

"Well I'll be damned, he did it!" Ross smiled as he raised his glass in a toast as the couple moved to the music. In all the years he had known McQueen he had never seen his friend dance. *"Extraordinary situations call for extraordinary measures,"* he thought. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the women move back to the table to join the rest of their squad. Deciding if McQueen was going to have time to mend his fences with Jenny, it was his job to keep the 58th occupied.

"Ty, it wasn't me," Jenny looked into very blue eyes. "I wasn't the one who played that song."

"I know," he smiled and pulled her closer. "I did."

"Why are you doing this?" She looked up at him, every instinct telling her to bolt, while she still could.

"Because I was wrong," he felt her muscles tighten and knew that if he didn't do something quickly, she would be gone.

"Don't play games with me," to her frustration she could feel her eyes begin to tear. "You were right the other day, I am a coward."

"No," he shook his head at her and held her closer. "You're one of the bravest people I've ever met. McKendrick was right."

"You heard what he said this morning?"

"I was standing in the hatch, remember," they danced slowly as other couples joined them on the dance floor. "I'll never hurt you again," he promised, adding silently, neither would anyone else. His eyes doing a quick check of the room, but no one except the Wildcards appeared to be paying any attention to them.

"You wouldn't mean to, but...." Jen sniffed. "This can only end badly for me."

"Never," he whispered. "I've always been proud to be with you. I haven't done a very good job of letting you know that. My fear for your safety has always gotten in the way. That's going to change, but more importantly, you need to know, you're not alone, anymore."

"Ty?" She looked up, her eyes full of questions. "How did you know?"

"Shhhhh, Jen." He leaned his cheek against her hair, enjoying holding her in public. "We'll dance, then we'll talk."

She closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder. If she was asleep, she hoped she didn't wake up for a long time, but the song ended too soon. It was replaced by another of the wild swing tunes that everyone seemed to love to dance to. McQueen took Jen by the hand and led her out of the swinging doors of the Tun.
................................

September 17 2064, 2210 hours

As they left the noise and crowd behind, Jenny tried to pull her hand free, but he held on tightly. "Thanks for the dance, Ty," she pasted a smile on her face, needing to put some distance between them. "It's been a long time since I've danced. I need to be go......"

"We need to talk," he looked a bit grim. "And we're almost there," he indicated the turn off to were they both had quarters.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Jenny pulled back on his hand. He was too close to her, smelling too good. She didn't trust herself to be alone with him.

"There's something you need to see," he tugged gently, pulling her along with him. "Then maybe you'll understand."
.................................

McQueen's Quarters:

Jenny nibbled at her lower lip as she followed McQueen into his quarters. Part of her intrigued, part of her wanting to stomp her feet until she got her own way.

"Trust me." His eyes serious as he walked over to his desk. "This is for you," he handed her the framed photo of his wedding.

"What do you want ME to do with it?" She held up her hands as if to fend off the item he was holding, afraid she would throw it at his head if she touched it.

"Open it up," he challenged. "Things aren't always what they seem."

"Ty!"

"Humor me, this once," he gave her a half smile when she finally took the cracked frame from him.

"The catch is bent," Jen struggled with the damaged latch, until it gave way, spilling the contents of the frame onto the desk. "Ohhh," with shaking fingers, the Doctor picked up both pictures that had been in the frame. "When.....why....I don't understand?" She looked in confusion at the picture of her, leaning back against him, her hands covering his at the wheel of the Windswept. They had both been smiling at Patsy who had taken the picture.

"I didn't understand myself for a long time," the Colonel reached one hand for the woman's cheek. "I put your picture there the night I showed you the alcove," he smiled as he remembered his confusion that night. "All I knew was that I had to have you close to me all the time, but was too afraid to look at the reason. So I hid it beneath this," he picked up the wedding picture and tossed it in the waste compartment. "It means nothing and has for a very long time."

"What are you saying?" Jenny's voice cracked.

McQueen took a deep breath, then took the plunge, "that I love you. I've never said that to anyone, not even Amy."

"You didn't love her?" The doctor side of her personality had dealt with the after affects of McQueen's divorce, it was hard for her to believe what he was saying.

"What I felt for Amy was a young man's affection mixed with a healthy dose of lust." The dream he had had about Amy helped him put that ghost to rest. He wondered how long he had known, but had keepen it hidden. "If we had taken it as the summer affair that it was, we would have walked away with happy memories and a better idea of what we did and didn't want out of life. Unfortunately, we took ourselves seriously, and got married."

"All this time I thought......."

"That I loved her.......even still?" McQueen shook his head as he put both arms around her. "No, life was less complicated when I left the illusion in place, but I haven't felt anything but relief, that it was over, for a long time. The divorce hurt, but I think it was more the fact I failed, than anything else. I locked the door on my feelings to keep myself from having to look too closely at that failure."

"You're being too harsh on yourself," Jen defended him. "It takes two to make a divorce just like it takes two to make a......mar......relationship."

"It does take two, doesn't it?" He rubbed his hands up and down her back, enjoying the freedom he was allowing himself, to touch her. "Now it's up to you, because I can't do this alone."

"Why choose now to tell me this?" She could feel herself slipping under his spell. If she didn't fight back now, it would be too late.

"I've known for a long time you were essential to me," he couldn't believe how hard he had fought against the inevitable. "It's been just recently that I've understood why. If it's any help, I've been just as terrified of loving you, as you have been of your feelings for me."

"It helps," Jenny whispered as she closed her eyes and took a leap of faith. If he didn't catch her, as he promised, she knew she would crash and burn, "I do love you. I have for a long time."

"Good, because, I'm never letting you go," he nibbled on her lips as he felt her melt against him. He had finally gotten the words right!

Her hands moved over his neck, brushing his navel lightly as he held her close to him. McQueen shook and pulled his mouth from hers. "Jen," he growled. "You're playing with fire!"

"So are you," she gasped as his hands moved beneath her sweater and over her skin.

Deep in the heart of the Saratoga the great ship hummed with satisfaction, almost as if she could feel the joy that two of her crew were experiencing. This time, the night song she sent out through her deck plating was, 'the time is right, the time is right.'
.....................................

The Tun Tavern:

The Wildcards watched with a smile on their faces as the music ended and their commanding office walked out of the Tun holding tightly to Jenny Kirkwood's hand.

"Okay, when did all this happen?" Shane looked around the table at her friends. "'Phousse and I are gone for a few days and...and.." She couldn't finish her sentence. The feeling she got when she watched McQueen dancing with Jenny had been too much like watching parents at a time when she shouldn't have been.

"I think it's been going on longer than the two of them realize," Ross smiled at Joan Brill for conformation.

"He never left her side in Sickbay, the first night she was brought in," Joan remembered letting McQueen in after hours. "And when he got back from Kazbek in such bad shape, I had to order her to bed."

"McQueen's the Major in her stories, isn't he?" West looked around the table. He had seen something in the Colonel's eyes the night Voss had been so insulting, but had never thought about it again.

"It was in front of us all the time and we didn't catch on," Shane's jaw dropped as she remembered the picture of the Angry Angels on Jenny's desk. *"So that hadn't been just two people glass-eyed from booze,"* she smiled to herself. *"Way to go Jenny!"*

"When I was in Sickbay, with my eyes bandaged," 'Phousse remembered a half heard conversation. "I heard them talking," she smiled at the memory. "She made him laugh and he talked to her in a tone I've never heard him use with anyone. I thought I was dreaming."

"Mitch and I've heard about the stories that Jenny told on Kordis," Maria shrugged. "In those stories the Major was always dead. Why would she say he was dead, if he wasn't?"

"Because she thought he died with the rest of the Angry Angels," 'Phousse remembered back to the ISSCV that had picked up the Kordis survivors. "I was taking care of the man in the bunk next to Jenny's. At the time I didn't think much of it, because she had been hit hard enough to knock her out. When she came too, she took one look at McQueen and insisted she was dead, because he was there."

"I've known since the night they brought him in after the explosion," Voss whispered as he remembered the pain on Jenny's face. "She told me her medical expertise was all he ever wanted her for. She really believed it. After they hauled him out of there," he shook his head and looked at Joan Brill. "She was a mess and wouldn't let us help her." Then he smiled remembering a happier time, "But I think the Commodore is right about it going back further than that. He almost punched me out the first night she was aboard the Saratoga," he smiled and shrugged. "I said some really stupid things"

"Chico, you couldn't help it. Even for a newbe, you weren't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer," West grinned at the doctor who had become a good friend since then.

"Coop, you're awfully quiet about all this," Shane looked at him and realized he knew more than he was letting on.

"When Jenny first came aboard I used to wonder why she cared about me the way she did. At first, I thought it was because I was an in-vitro and she was so active in the Rights Movement. Then it hit me, she cared about all of us," he looked around the table at the Wildcards. "Somewhere alone the line I realized it was because McQueen cared about us so much that she did."

"Coop, I think you're selling yourself and Jenny short," Shane reached across the table and patted his hand.

"No, hear me out," he looked at Shane as if she were the only one in the room. "Now, she cares about us on her own, but in the beginning it was because of McQueen. She cared unconditionally. He loved us, so did she, for her it was that simple," he sighed trying to make a point. "She said as much on 2063Y. No matter what, we were coming back or she would die trying to get us back. Jenny Kirkwood is the first person to love me no matter what I did or who I am, and I know she always will."

"It sounds as if you're describing a mother," Joan Brill smiled at the insightful young man.

"A mother?" Coop grinned and shook his head. "I never thought I'd have one of those. All the more reason that anything else I know, isn't mine to talk about," he smiled at Shane and could tell by the look in her eyes she understood. Coop had gotten in the habit of protecting Jenny and now he knew why. "If they want us to know anything, they'll tell us. But, whatever happens, we'll need to watch their six." He sounded so much like McQueen that Shane did a double take.

"Both points well taken, Lt. Hawkes," Ross stood and stretched. "Joan, I'll walk you back, if you're ready to leave."
...............................................

"I love wandering the corridors of the 'Toga at this time of night," Ross sighed as he caressed a bulkhead. The further he and Joan had gotten from the Tun, the quieter it had gotten.

"Are you all right about what happened, Glen," Joan looked up at Ross. "I know you cared more about Jenny than you ever let on."

"You read me too well," Ross sighed. "I hope McQueen didn't see what you've seen."

"Jenny's had his emotions tied in so many knots the last year I doubt he's seen anything much," they reached Joan's door at the end of a quiet hall.

"It's better this way Joan," Ross smiled, always being a practical man. "Ty loves her and she loves him, they'll work out their problems between them. Both of them have had pretty lonely lives, so they'll appreciate what they have all the more."

"What about you?"

"I'll be fine. I have the love of my life right here under my feet," Ross looked around at his ship. "If you listen carefully you can hear her night song. She sounds happy tonight. I cared about Jenny a lot, I still do, but she would have always been second to the Saratoga. I realized that months ago."
...........................

McQueen's Quarters:

Clothes lay in pools around McQueen's usually neat cabin. His soft black shirt was missing some buttons and lay tangled with Jen's white lacy bra, with a torn strap. His black slacks hid the scrap of ripped silk that had been her panties. The surge of energy that had inflamed the cabin for the last hour was calmed, as two damp bodies lay together trying to catch their breath.

"Are you all right?" McQueen drew the sheet over them as he pulled Jen closer on his left side.

"I'll let you know, when my brain cells reconnect," Jen murmured as her lips found the ridges of a scar she knew was on his shoulder.

"What are you doing," he gasp as he felt the small kisses she used to trace the damage from a previous war.

"Fulfilling a fantasy," she grinned as she moved on top of him. Her lips tracing first one scar then another.

"Fantasy?" he held her tightly as he turned them, placing her below him. "I never knew you had a kinky side to you, Doctor. This could get very interesting."

"From my prospective it's already interesting." She kept on giving him nibbling kisses as she worked her way over the scars on his chest, "I've always wanted to do this."

"I have scars other places, too," he offered as he returned the favor by kissing the bruises on her neck.

"Yes," she murmured. "There's a map of all your scars in your medical record. I know where each and every one is."

"Do you now?" McQueen whispered. His eyes danced blue fire, as he watched her flush. He wondered exactly which of his scars had made her blush and the fun they would have finding out.

"Hhhhuummm," Jen gasp unable to take her eyes off Ty's as he leaned toward her, his mouth doing its own recon mission, starting with her throat and moving where he willed, until both people moved only on instinct.

..........................................

"Love you," Jenny murmured. "Let me stay here tonight? I want to sleep beside you."

"You just try and leave." He held her closer, "I've already told you once this evening that I didn't plan on letting you go."

"You really meant it?"

"Of course." Later when she wasn't so skeptical he would tell her all that he planned for them both. "Though, once it's safe for you on Earth, I'd much rather you were assigned there, than out here."

"No, don't ask me to do that," Jenny felt her stomach clench at the thought of leaving.

"I love you and would like to know you were safe," he kissed her, afraid for her if she stayed, afraid for himself if she left.

"Answer me honestly," Jen supported herself on her elbow to look down at him. "If given the choice of a 'safe' assignment on Earth, would you leave me here on the Saratoga?"

"Hell, no!" He ground out as he mirrored her position. "But that's different."

"You're darn right it is!" Jenny's eyes were fierce as she poked him in the chest for emphasis. "I work in Sickbay, a place that is one of the safest areas on the ship. You're on the exposed bridge. Any Chig with a death wish could crash through there, taking it out and you along with it. I almost never leave the Saratoga. You'll be back to active combat status in a few months. So, McQueen, which one of us do you think is the safest out here?"

"You've made your point," he could hardly argue with her. "But no more going searching for lost Marines, even if they are my Marines. And that trick you pulled in the Launch Bay?" He shivered thinking about it, "Jen, I had to order Trosper not to open those Bay doors. Please, don't ever put me in that position again!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know it would be so hard on you," she leaned toward him to kiss him gently. "We shouldn't waste time like this," Jenny shook her head at the futility of the argument. "Tomorrow either one of us, or both of us, could be transfer off the Saratoga."

"Ross has an idea about that," McQueen whispered. "It seems Stan Turek felt that with my 'special needs.'" He hated the sound of that. "I should have consistent medical care. It was suggested that my duty sheet be stapled with a doctor's duty sheet. Voss brought this to the Commodore's attention and it seems Chico thinks you're the best qualified at 'keeping me in line in Sickbay.' I believe that was how it was stated. Ross thinks it's a good idea, but I wouldn't do it unless you were alright with it."

"Oh Ty," Jenny giggled at the pained expression on his face. Then sobered as she thought further. "I gather my change of assignment will take me out of your chain of command?" She had wondered why McQueen had let things go so far between them when she was technically part of his squad.

"We won't need the ruse of you being a Wildcard to keep you safe and on the Saratoga, is that alright with you?"

"I'll miss the 58th," she shrugged. "But if you and I want to continue......"

"We do!" He spoke emphatically.

"A doctor shouldn't take care of someone she's emotionally involved with," Jenny whispered.

"Can you tell me we weren't emotionally involved the night you saved my life after the explosion?" He watched the pain cross her face and got his answer before she spoke.

"You know I can't." She kissed him deeply to try and take away the horror of that night.

"Then I guess it's live or die together," McQueen whispered as he kissed her again. "You wanted that when I took the 'Cards to Kazbek. I didn't understand then, but I do now."

"I'll do my best to be more careful," Jen murmured, realizing how important it was for him that she try. "Promise me one thing? If the Saratoga is hit badly, you won't stay behind with Ross. He may want to go down with his ship, but three's a crowd."

"You know Glen pretty well," McQueen felt a moment of jealousy.

"I can recognize when a person loves their ship," she caressed Ty's cheek. "So do we have deal? We're in this together, no matter what happens?" Holding out her hand she offered their old agreement, "pax?"

"Pax," he took her hand but instead of just shaking it as usual, he locked their hands together with their fingers intertwined. "You know I love you very much?"

"Yes," Jenny realized it was his way of telling her how difficult it would be for him if she were to die. "When the war is over, if you still want me, I'll go to what ever base you're assigned to. When you're on ship duty, I'll wait for you on Catalina. If I thought this charade of being your doctor would keep us together in peace time, I'd stay in the Navy."

"You'd do that for me?" McQueen hadn't told her that he planned to leave the Corps when the war ended. He knew what she thought of the life she had just offered him: the long separations and worry; the stress of moving from base to base; the politics of life on base, made worse because they would be a mixed couple. He knew she wanted out of the Navy and medicine, but she would give all that up to be with him. It made his fears for her safety appear small and insignificant.

"Of course, Ty, I love you." She smiled, knowing that even if the times together would be marked by lonely stretches while he was away, they would be worth having.

"It's not anything you'll ever have to do," he watched as confusion filled her eyes. "I gave Ross my resignation the evening you brought back the 'Cards."

"What?" Jenny grabbed onto him. "You didn't do this for me, did you?" The fear was clear in her voice, "I'd never ask you to change for me!"

"Part of me wants to tell you that I'm giving you the gift of a normal life because I love you," he shook his head at his foolishness. "But I've learned my lesson. I have to be who I am, not someone elses idea of who I am. You fell in love with a Marine, will it make a difference that I'll be a civilian?"

"I didn't fall in love with a Marine, I fell in love with a man," Jen reached up and kissed him.

McQueen picked up his dog tags and removed her bracelet from them. "As much as I'd like to keep this, I want you to wear it." He put it back on her wrist, where she had always worn it. "This time, if anyone asks, tell them the truth. I gave it to you."

"Are you sure about that?" Jenny knew he was still afraid for her, though he was hiding it well.

"I deliberately burned my bridges this evening," he nodded. "As long as we're on the Saratoga, we need to be circumspect about our relationship. I don't want to do anything that would get Ross into trouble."

"I can live with that," she smiled and moved the bracelet around her wrist. "I missed it, I've worn it for so long," Jen yawned. "But giving it to you was the only way I could be sure you'd come back."

"Sleep now, you're not making any sense," McQueen pulled her closer. "I'd always come back for you. I always have. I didn't need a bracelet to remind me."

"Love you," Jen whispered as she drifted off to sleep.
..................................

September 18, 0500 hours McQueen's quarters-

McQueen awoke to the unaccustomed sound of breathing next to his left ear. He hadn't slept for long, but the few hours of sleep he had gotten left him strangely refreshed and contented. He and Jen were tangled together on a bunk that was hardly wide enough for one. There was something about this that was significant and went far deeper than the physical implications. He closed his eyes and let the old memory surface: Amy, it had to do with Amy. She had always accused him of shutting her out. Saying, his inability to sleep unless she was as far away from him as their bed would allow, was a tangible sign of his need to keep her out emotionally.

Ty was caught by surprise at how correct Amy had been. With her he had been careful to guard his personal space, even in his sleep. But with Jen it was different. There was no 'his space' or 'her space,' only their's. He chuckled softly as he realized that was defining moment number two, in less than twelve hours. Was the slight woman who was wrapped around him going to provide defining moments for as long as he lived, just to prove herself right?

He pulled her closer, as he felt her begin to stretch against him. "Good morning," a very contented Lieutenant Colonel whispered to the woman who was trying not to wake up.

"Hi there," Jenny snuggled back against the warm body that held her close. Raising up, she attempted to kiss the lips that were grinning at her inability to keep her eyes open. Over balancing she ended up planting a sleepy kiss on his chin instead. "Sorry about that," she giggled. "Lets try it again." This time her aim was more accurate.

"That was much better," his eyes twinkled as she slid back down beside him. He had watched Jen wake up on a number of occasions. Having her wake up warm and soft in his arms was better than he could have imagined. Thinking of those other times, Ty had to be very sure. "Are you still okay with this?" He swept blond curls away from her eyes so he could see as well as hear her answer.

"You thought I'd hate myself in the morning?" Jenny watched as he fought to keep his face unguarded. "I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather wake up, than beside you. Now your turn, McQueen." She offered, "did you change your mind?"

"Never," he whispered.

"Good, because this is the first time since Earth that I've awakened and haven't been cold," she teased, though they both knew there was a grain of truth in what she was saying.

"Well, I'm glad I could be of help," he grunted. This was something else he had never experienced, this intimate 'playing' between a man and a woman. Always before it had been, sex, then nothing.

As he ran his hand along her side and felt her curve against his touch, he wanting badly to roll her beneath him and spend the day as they had spent most of the night. But it was getting late, and soon it was back to their other lives. The ones where they were Colonel and Doctor. They'd practiced that game when they were with the Angry Angels, not realizing how important it would become to them later.

Moving quickly while he still had a hold on priorities, McQueen slid out from under the blanket and sat on the side of the bunk, "I've got a breakfast meeting with Ross at 0600 or I'd....." He caught his breath as he felt her hand move along his lower back.

"I missed one last night," Jen's fingers moved over an old scar on his back, just below the twelfth rib. "That looks like it went deep, you're lucky you didn't lose a kidney."

"You missed a number of them last night," he turned and l put his arm around her as she curled against his back and side. His eyes had gone a clear dark blue and his voice husky. Last night her lips had moved over the scars on his chest with nibbling kisses, he could picture them moving where her fingers were touching now. "Jen....you know I'd rather stay here with you, but there's just so much Ross will over-look."

"I..ah..." She pulled her hand away from him as if she had been burned. "I didn't mean to do that," she blinked in surprise.

"It's okay, Jen," he smiled and brought her wandering hand to his mouth and kissed her palm. "As I was saying, before I was so nicely distracted, if I didn't have this meeting I'd invite you to shower with me."

"Ha....Unless your bathroom is much larger than mine, it would be a very tight squeeze," she kidded, as she averted her eyes from his backside as he headed toward the shower.

"We'd work it out," he grinned, looking back at her. The bathroom door covering all but his face. "I'll be out in a minute, wait for me?"

"Sure," she whispered, still holding the sheet over her as she looked at the pile of clothes on the floor instead of where the voice was coming from.

As he quickly showered and shaved, he couldn't get over the fact that Jen had been shy about seeing him naked. It didn't make sense. She was a doctor, had seen men like that before, hadn't she? She had taken care of him often enough to know what his body looked like. He smiled and almost cut himself shaving when he realized the difference. This morning she was looking at him as a woman looks at a man."

Jenny heard the bathroom door open behind her. She was leaning over to make up the bunk. "Ty, you've really got to be easier on my clothes," Jen was dressed in the jeans and sweater she had worn the night before, but a scrap of torn lace and a damaged bra dangled over her shoulder. The breath caught in her throat as she turned and found him standing very near her. A damp towel slung low on his hips, water beads still glistening on his skin and silver hair.

"You haven't had any other mornings after, have you?" His voice almost purred with satisfaction.

"Ah...." her mind went blank. "Not exactly."

"Why didn't you say something last night?"

"It didn't seem like the time?" She tried to skirt around the question, but he only shook his head, seeing through her. "I didn't want to disappoint you," she whispered.

"You couldn't." He had known for a long time that Jen wasn't much of a player. Last night for a split second, he'd realized the truth, but dismissed it. Sighing, he reached for the damaged silk hanging over her shoulder, "but I could have been more careful of you."

"Then I'm glad I didn't say anything," her chin rose, in what McQueen had come to think of as her fighting stance. "I wouldn't change anything about last night."

"Jen, what am I going to do with you?" He shook his head as he pulled her close against him.

Reaching for his cleanly shaven cheek, she gave him a wicked grin. "If last night is anything to go by, you've already figured it out."

"I think you may be right," he agreed in mock seriousness, "but until we can explore that theory in more detail, there is something I want you to have." He reached for a piece of paper in the top drawer of his desk, "it's my door code."

"I can't take that," Jenny gasped. McQueen was an intensely private person. Most in-vitros that she had met were. It came from spending too many years in communal living.

"Jen, you're welcome here anytime," he curled her fingers around the paper. "There will be times when we have to work late. I want to know that if one of us comes in at two in the morning the other will be sleeping in that bunk." He could see in her eyes she understood that he wasn't only talking about now, and strategy meetings with Ross or late nights in surgery. He was asking her to be here months down the road, when he would be coming in battle weary and covered with dirt from some far away planet or moon.

"Okay," her mouth was so dry she didn't think he heard her. "But you have to take mine as well," she wrote the numbers on the bottom half of the paper and tore it in half.
..............................

September 18, 2064 Mess Hall, 0630 hours:

"Queen Of Diamonds to Angel-Doc, come in Jenny." Shane stood beside the table where the older woman was seated, staring into her coffee. The noise of the mess hall flowed around them.

"Shane? Sorry, I didn't see you," she smiled as she indicated for her friend to sit and eat with her.

"You wouldn't have seen a planet the size of Jupiter," Vansen giggled. "I've got to warn you, the rest of the 58th is only a few minutes behind me."

"I always enjoy eating with you guys," Jenny decided to brazen it out. She wasn't fool enough to think that any of the 'Cards had missed what went on last night. If they didn't approve of it, she had better find out now.

"It's okay," Vansen patted the older woman's hand, "there's nothing to worry about."

"Thank you," Jenny reached for her coffee. "You'll give them my thanks?"

Shane nodded as she worked up the courage to ask the question that had been burning in her mind since she saw Jen dancing with McQueen. "When we talked in March," she licked her lips. "It was him, wasn't it?"

"Yes," the Doctor whispered. "I couldn't say anything. I couldn't tell anybody."

"You don't have to explain," Shane smiled. "Having seen and heard you that night, then seen you and the Colonel last night, I know for sure that John wasn't the right man." Shane's grin of relief making it clear that she was over Oakes for good. "I hope I find someone who loves me, as much as you love him."

"I don't think that's something you're going to need to worry about," Jen patted her friend's arm, as she saw the big in-vitro Marine leading the 58th over to join them.

Jenny had expected to receive some good natured ribbing, but with the exception of Shane's private question, nothing was said that indicated that anything out of the ordinary had happened. She hoped Joan Brill could contain herself until they were some place more private than Sickbay. There was no doubt in the Doctor's mind that she was in for a grilling by the older nurse.
.................................

September 21, Ross's Office, 1430 hours:

"Come," the Commodore called out at the knock on his hatch.

"You wanted to see me, Sir," McQueen took a seat across from his friend.

"I received a packet from Savage," Ross indicated the communications chip that was on his desk. "A lot has happened since we've been out of contact with the war."

"Is there more trouble?" McQueen watched Ross carefully, something was bothering the older man.

"Yes and no," Ross fidgeted a moment before looking at his friend. "On the positive side, there has been very little action in the last two weeks. Each side has pulled back. In the past, that sort of thing has been followed by a huge blood letting. From what Savage says, there is a different feel to the situation than usual, so he's hopeful that it'll be different this time."

"Sir, that's not what you called me here to discuss, " McQueen had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"You're right," the Commodore sighed. "Ty, Carleton Stryker was arrested three nights ago. He and some friends attacked an In-Vitro Rights worker at a rally in Boston."

"Go on," McQueen felt every nerve in his body tighten.

"Jack Longley and his team had just broken the story to the press about Aerotech's involvement in creating drug controlled in-vitros. There was a public backlash in support of in-vitros. Almost every major city in the world, had demonstration, against Aerotech," the Commodore took a deep breath and plunged on. "From what Frank tells me, the Rally in Boston had been planned months ago. Four men, one of them Stryker, grabbed a female Rights Worker off the streets. They burned the back of her neck with a cigar but were caught, when her gag came loose, while trying to rape her.

"Son of a bitch!" McQueen wanted nothing more than to get his hands on Stryker.

"Ty, calm down!" Ross ordered. "In the past two years there have been 10 other muggings like this one. They used DNA testing to place Stryker at the scene each time. Savage sent me a list of the other victims, Jenny's name wasn't on it."

"It wouldn't be, she wasn't raped," he whispered as he fought for control. When he looked up at Ross again, his eyes glinted ice. "But it was Stryker. The nurse I talked to that night said Jen was lucky. It looked like the men started tearing at her clothes, then changed their minds and marked her first."

"Jesus, Ty," Ross gasped. "No wonder you've been so protective of her."

"Some protector I am?" He laughed bitterly. "I've just turned her into the In-Vitro Colonel's woman!"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," Ross ground out. "Don't you ever demean what the two of you have like that again. You're happy for the first time in your life, that's got to be worth something. I've only known Jenny a year, but I've never seen her happier," the Commodore turned and paced not sure how much he should say. "McQueen, you think you're the only person on this vessel who is involved with someone? Well you're not! I've turned my back on a lot of things that at other times I would have tossed people in the brig for. But this damn war is taking lives so fast, I can't see denying people happiness if they happen to find it in the middle of all this hell. My only rule is they don't rub my face in it, so get the hell out of my face!"

"Understood, Sir."

"Now back to business," Ross' voice was gruff. "If we want to see that man convicted as the slimy criminal he is, we have to keep our personal feelings out of it. The information McKendrick has is too vital to be jeopardized by anything. As far as we're concerned, Carleton Stryker had noting to do with Jenny Kirkwood. There are too many connections here and I don't want some smart-ass attorney to find a loop hole for that traitor to crawl out of. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Sir," the grim smile that crossed the Colonel's lips made Ross shudder. "But if he does slip through anything, it won't be for long."

"McQueen do I have to lock you up until you calm down?" The Commodore would do just that if he had to. "Hayden has been able to keep a lid on the story. She's been trying to distance herself from Stryker and Aerotech, but it won't last for long. When that story hits, Jenny's going to need you close by, not sitting in the brig."

"Do they have anything on Stryker besides the.......muggings," he choked over the word.

"He had two in-vitros on his staff that couldn't pass a routine physical." Ross looked slyly at McQueen, "it seems that both of them had been programed with deep violent post-hypnotic suggestions. During the deprogramming process, both men spoke of a third member to their group. A friend, who was killed by a mob after assassinating Spencer Chartwell."

"What? Chartwell's murder?" The Colonel turned from his place at the port hole in surprise.

"Frank says that's being whispered about," Ross smiled for the first time since McQueen entered his office. "And two of his bodyguards have a very sketchy criminal history. Both of them have been on the run since Longley's story hit. Savage has men out looking for them, he believes they were involved in the killings of older in-vitros."

"Glen," McQueen's voice cracked, "I always swore I'd kill the men who hurt her, when I found out who they were."

"If we're careful, and do this right, we will." A look of grim satisfaction crossed the Commodore's face. "Treason is the only capital offense left on the books."

"How much longer do you think Hayden will be able to keep this quiet?"

"She's running out of time. Her credibility has been badly damaged," Ross' smile was evil. "I'd say by tomorrow The Armed Forces Network will be carrying bits and pieces of the story. Jenny needs to be warned, do you want me to talk to her?"

"No, she should hear it from me," he looked at his watch and decided he had just enough time to punch his anger away in the gym.
...........................

September 21, 2064 McQueen's Quarters 2345:

She had thought he was asleep when she had slipped out of bed, but he wasn't. If he had been, her leaving his side would have awakened him. She was standing at his port hole a few feet away. McQueen couldn't help smiling, she had grabbed his t-shirt from the back of the chair as she passed by. What was this strange thing she had for wearing his clothes? He didn't care, when he picked up something she had been wearing he could smell her scent and it made him whole.

"Jen," McQueen whispered as he came up behind her. His arms pulled her back against him as he buried his face in her hair. "Are you all right?"

"Sure I am. What are you doing still awake?" She was afraid she knew, but wanted to hear it from him. "You should be exhausted. I hear you spent a few hours with a large punching bag this afternoon."

"The Doctor has spies does she?" He teased, then turned serious. "If you're so 'all right' how come you're not sleeping?" McQueen was sure Jen's spy wore a Wildcards insignia on his or her flightsuit and made a mental note to keep his eyes open for them in the future.

"Couldn't sleep," she tried to pass it off as simple insomnia.

"Jen, look at me." He turned her around gently and cupped her face with his hands. "You don't need to be afraid. Stryker or his kind will never hurt you again, I promise."

"You think that's why I can't sleep?" She was tired and exasperated. Hearing about Stryker had taken more of a toll on her than she liked to admit.

"I can't think of any other reason."

"I've been waiting all evening for you to pull away because of this," she chewed on her lower lip in worry. "I know you said you wouldn't, but I saw how hard it was on you. Why else would you have needed two hours with a punching bag before you could tell me?"

"For such a smart woman, you come to some silly conclusions," he pulled her close. "I must have killed Stryker a dozen times while hitting that bag," he smiled at the memory. "But I learned something too. When I walked out on you in Houston, Stryker scored another victory. All the times I've held back out of fear for you, we've been the losers. Jen, I don't like to lose!"

"Neither do I," she ran her hands up and down his sides, enjoying the feel of his warm skin under her touch.

"You won't. Now come back to bed, you're freezing," he could feel her shiver as he helped her back into the bunk. "But I can warm you up better with out this," he grinned in the dark as he pulled the shirt she was wearing over her head and sent it flying.

"They say the best way to share body heat is skin to skin," Jen giggled as they matched each other touch for touch.
.........................

Lieutenant Colonel Tyrus Cassius McQueen looked at the sleeping woman in his arms and wondered why it had taken him so long to realize that she had been right. There was no one single defining moment. Life was a series of them. How one dealt with those moments was what really defined a person, not the moment its self.

The fleeting memories he had of her in detox; all the time they spent on the Windswept; the disaster in a hospital in Houston; finding her crumpled on the ground on Kordis; and all the times on the Saratoga. There had been no short cuts for them, no easy way. They had learned and changed together, but all the time it had taken, had been worth the wait. Everything that had come before, had been leading to this cabin, to that moment in time when he had finally been able to say the words that let someone into his life forever.