Coach Schnickelheimer Part 2
Malcolm slowly opened his eyes. Oh
man, what a horrible dream, he thought. I dreamt that the school was
going to make me join the soccer team! Thank God I don't really have to.
Malcolm turned over onto his side. He saw that his brother was staring at him.
"I can't believe Mom is actually going
to make you join the soccer team!" cackled Reese. "This is way too funny!"
"What?!" Malcolm sat up quickly.
"Omigod! It wasn't a dream! I really do have to join the soccer team!" He
angrily stomped out of bed and into the closet. Malcolm pulled out pants and a
shirt, yanked them on, and stormed out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.
Lois was setting a giant platter of
pancakes on the kitchen table. Hal, Reese, and Dewey were wolfing the food down
greedily. Lois smiled at Malcolm, "Hi honey. I'm so proud that you're going to
be doing soccer. I know you'll have a lot of fun."
Reese snickered. "And I'll have a lot
of fun watching you. Wait a second, I can't watch today. I'm going on a date
with Brittany Hall. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to watch you humiliate
yourself tomorrow."
"You're going on a date, son?" Hal
glanced up from his pancakes.
"Yeah. It's no big deal. We're just
going to the movies."
"What are you going to see?" asked
Lois.
"The new horror movie, Stabwound Returns."
Lois looked at Reese suspiciously.
"Have fun. And don't you dare get into any trouble."
"Don't worry, Mom. I won't." Reese
smiled angelically up at his mother.
Malcolm ate his breakfast quietly. He
didn't even fight Reese over the syrup. He was too depressed about the soccer
team to pick a fight. Why did everything always have to happen to him? It just
wasn't fair!
* * *
The school day passed quickly and
normally. Reese beat up half the playground at lunch, and Malcolm aced an
English test. Malcolm was angry to find that no matter how hard he tried; he
couldn't slow time down. It was the first time in his life that he didn't
want school to come to end. But sadly it did, the end of class bell rang
promptly at 3:00, and Reese raced off to the movie theater while Malcolm walked
dejectedly out onto the field.
The soccer team, a group of 14 boys,
was out on the field already. The coach hadn't arrived yet. Malcolm was glad.
Coach Jean Schnickelheimer was a short, thin, energetic woman with an amazingly
loud voice. She was merciless, and loved to blow on the whistle hanging around
her neck superfluously. It might seem strange that an entire school full of
adolescents would be scared to death of a short little woman, but Coach
Schnickelheimer was not a force to be reckoned with.
Five minutes after Malcolm arrived on
the field, Coach Schnickelheimer strode up to the cluster of boys and blew her
whistle loudly. "All right, warm-up! 14 laps!"
Malcolm's jaw dropped. He jogged over
to the Coach. "Excuse me, Coach Schnickelheimer?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm Malcolm. I just joined the team.
And I don't know if you realize this, but 14 laps around the field is the
equivalent of 2 miles. Isn't that a little much?"
The Coach snorted. "No, it isn't a lot
at all. The 14 laps are only to get you warmed up. You'll be doing 5 times more
than that once we actually start practicing. Now, unless you want to run 28
laps, I suggest you start running!"
Malcolm gulped, but took off. 2 laps
later, he had a cramp in his side, couldn't breathe, and felt like he was
dying. "Damn Mom for this!"
* * *
Reese walked up to the movie theater. The
beautiful Brittany Hall was standing outside, tossing her long blonde hair from
side to side. Reese wasn't able to suppress a smile. He couldn't believe she
had actually shown up!
"Hi Brittany," he said, gazing into
her sky-blue eyes.
"Hi Reese," she purred, looking
dreamily into his clear green eyes.
Reese grabbed her hand, paid for their
tickets, and led her inside. As they were standing in line to buy popcorn,
Reese said,
"I'm so glad you came."
"I wouldn't have missed it for the
world." Brittany smiled flirtatiously. They made their way into the theater and
Brittany pulled Reese into the back row.
"Why are we sitting all the way back
here? I can barely see the screen!" complained Reese.
"Who cares? We're not going to be
watching the movie anyway," said Brittany.
Reese was thrilled. This is the
best day of my life! The hottest girl in school totally wants me! Hey, I've got
an idea! I know exactly what'll make her want me even more! Reese grinned
as he leaned back into his seat to watch the previews. He pulled the box of
popcorn gently onto his lap. Phase 1 of the plan was now complete.
* * *
What
horrible plan does Reese have up his sleeve, or rather down his pants? Will
Malcolm survive the running? Is Coach Schnickelheimer Satan with a whistle?
These questions and more will be answered when the final chapter is posted,
same bat time, same bat place.