::Note::
( and ) mean action
** is a sub for italics
CAPS is screaming
and is what a character is thinking.
[ and ] is the place

Disclaimer: I own nothing. And the terms "Feather me" and "Oreo of
Love" belong to KittyAngel & StarFig. Thank you.



==========
NOTE:
Faronon, I know I didn't ask you if you wanted to be in this, but I
think you will like a certain part....for various reasons. (eyes shift)
==========



Intro:
[before the story starts, all the people taking place in this fic are all
gathered at a rectangle table, discussing about "important" matters]

Leo: "Okay, roll call! Me, of course! ^_^ Squall Leonheart?"

Squall: "Whatever."

Leo: "Close enough. Quistis Trepe?"

Quistis: "Here."

Leo: (shutters) "Selphie Tilmett."

Selphie: "Gah?"

Leo: (then mutters to Eddie) "I thought I killed her a long time
ago....?"

Eddie: "Yeah, but those were other fic's. This one she's still alive."

Leo: "Okay, I better kill her sometime soon...."

Eddie: "I wouldn't do that if I were you, personally, Selphie would
make good comedy relief."

Leo: "Good point. Better keep her in, then." (checks Selphie off)
"Zell Ditch?"

Zell: "Right-o!"

Leo: "Ooooookay, moving on....Seifer Almasy?"

Seifer: "I'LL BANISH THEE!"

Leo: "IGNORE!" (checks Seifer off) "Uh, Moombas?"

Moombas: "Laguna!"

Leo: "And speaking of Laguna.... Laguna Lore?"

Laguna: "I am the Oreo of Love!"

Leo: "No comment. AAAAnd, Irvy Kennepooooooo?"

Irvine: "...."

Leo: (clears throat) "IRVINE KENNEAS."

Irvine: "Here."

Eddie: "I don't think you should call him that when we are in
business."

Leo: "THAT'S IT! SINCE WHEN DID YOU EVER BECOME SO
SENSIBLE?!"

Eddie: "...." (eyes shift)

Leo: (kicks Eddie out of the fic for now) "Okay, now for the
teachers: Miss Thomas?"

Mrs. Thomas: "YOUR SOULS ARE MINE!"

Leo: (checks) "Miss Dolphin?"

Mrs. Dolphin: "Here."

Leo: (checks) "Mr...." (shutters) "....Costello?"

Mr. Costello: "I am not even going to ask."

Leo: "Good then! ^_^" (checks) "Mrs. Honstein?"

Mrs. Honstein: "Umm, do I have a purpose in this fic?"

Leo: "Not really, but since your here anyways, you're just there for
now." (checks) "Mr. Graves?"

Mr. Graves: "Duuuuuuude...."

Leo: "Duuuuuuude!" (checks) "And lastly.... Mr. Bennett?"

(cricket chirps)

Leo: "Misteeeeeeer Beeeeeeeeenneeeeeeett?"

(the door crashes open and Mr. Bennett storms in, then he sits
down on the cricket)

Mr. Bennett: "Sorry I'm late, got hung up at the Laguna Shrine."

Laguna: "What happened?"

Mr. Bennett: "Well, to part the point that the Laguna's had me
strapped to the wall and were doing some sort of funny little
dance, and then-"

Leo: "Shut up, your going to give away the plot of this fic!"

Quistis: "Wow, and actual plot?"

Squall: "Leo, are you sure you can handle this?"

Mrs. Dolphin: "Yeah, I mean....are you ready?"

Leo: "Relax! If I can write serious fic's, there is still hope yet!"

All: "...."

(the screen goes black and the title comes on)




==Final Fantasy X....Story of Crap==
===Clash of Leo, FF8, and her Middle School Teachers....THE HORROR!===


[at the Laguna Shrine, a place where the Moombas worship Laguna,
obviously, Mr. Bennett is strapped to the wall by bunji cords,
knocked out by some sleeping weed-yes, we know that is an Final
Fantasy 9 reference, so sue me!]

Moombas: (chanting) "La-goo-na! La-goo-na! La-goo-na!"

Green Monkeys: (in league with the Moombas, and also chanting)
"O-hi-o! O-hi-o! O-hi-o!"

[....meanwhile, back at the pizza parlor]

All: (this means Quistis, Selphie, Seifer, Zell, Squall, Irvine, Leo,
Eddie, Mr. Graves, and Mr. Barker-are standing with blank looks of
their faces)

Mr. Barker: "What just happened here? Where did Mr. Bennett go?"

Leo: "Beats me, hey, Eddie, can I have some coke?"

Eddie: "LEO!" (looks at her in shock) "No drugs!"

Leo: (rolls eyes) "Coka-Cola...."

All: (sweatdrop)

Eddie: "No." (runs away) "WEEEEEEEEE!"

All: (stares blankly)

Leo: "Oh my god...."

Squall: "What....ev....er...."

Leo: "I just got that feeling...." O.O

Mr. Graves: "Man, that is so deep!"

Quistis: "What kind of feeling?"

Leo: "That something very random and very spontaneous is about
to happen...." 0.0

Irvine: "Leo, will you marry me?"

Leo: "No, that can't be it...."

Zell: "Maybe someone is about to kill you?"

Leo: "No, that isn't it, either...."

Faronon: (runs in) "FEATHER ME!"

Leo: "THAT'S IT!"

All: "...."

Leo: "I forgot to do my laundry....gotta go!" (runs off)

Irvine: "MAKE OUT SESSION!"

Faronon: "Non of that, kay?" (kicks Irvine) "I am looking out for Leo
until she gets back. You know, keep things in order, make sure
that no one goes on some sort of killing rampage or nothing like
that. Get my drift? Now, EVERYONE, WHILE SHE ISN'T LOOKING!
CAUSE HAVOC!"

All: (causes havoc, and this would include making out between
Selphie and Zell, the teachers and Quistis start running around
aimlessly, Irvine is shooting at the ceiling with his rifle, Squall and
Seifer are killing people with their own gunblades, Eddie runs back
in after robbing a train of potatoes, Faronon runs off to make out
with Serge from Crono Cross, and Rinoa is converting evil sorceress
between her and Ultimecia and Adel on world and time domination)

Rinoa: "Okay, so here is my plan: We threaten to nuke the world if
they don't-"

Adel: "Too dangerous and has been done."

Rinoa: "Damn! Alright, to the next plan, we brainwash everyone
into thinking that Barney is good, and then they will become all
vulner-"

Ultimecia: "And before you say a big word, I want to tell you that
that, also, has been done."

Rinoa: "Damn again! Next! We write fic's and brainwash them-"

Adel: "Leo is already doing it with her pointless fic's."

Rinoa: (in a British accent) "Damn it all to bloody hell!" (then goes
back to her normal accent) "At this rate, Leo will rule the world
before me! THAT'S CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT!"

Adel&Ulti: "Indeeeed."

Rinoa: "Alright, I am SURE this plan will work! How about-"

Adel: "No more plans, please? My brain is already fried from
seventeen years of sleep."

Rinoa: (slumps) "Wuss....So, anyway, I KNOW that this next plan
will work, so listen up: What I think would be best to rule the world
would be, you see, we spoil all the people of the world's mind into
thinking that we are really going to help them-"

Ultimecia: "Been done. Many times."

Rinoa: "Then how am I supposed to rule the world?!"

Adel: (shrugs) "Viagra?"

Both: "What?"

Adel: "You can take over the world with Viagra."

Both: "We can?"

Adel: (rolls eyes) "And also PMS pills."

Ultimecia: "KURSE ALL SEEDS!" (flies away)

Rinoa: "Oookay, I think I am going to take a shower. Catch you
around, Adel." (waves and, like Ulti, flies away to her own
apartment)

Adel: "Wait....just....hear me out....to the very end...."

(back to what is happening)

Pizza Store Manager: "Hey, you! With the gun, stop shooting up my
store! And you two, with the gunblades! Stop killing my customers!"

Squall,Seifer&Irvine: (look at each other)

Irvine: "Can I?"

Squall: "You sure?"

Seifer: "But I want to!"

Irvine: "Okay."

Seifer: "YAY! DEMON SLICE!" (and you-erm-know the rest)

(the teachers and Quistis are wandering, and soon find themselves
in Hawaii)

Mr. Graves: "COOL!" (gets a surf board and gets eaten by the
waves)

All: -.-;

(back at the Pizza Place)

???: "Tick....tick....tick.....tick....tick....tick-tick-tick-tick-tickticktickticktickticktick-DING!"

Selphie: (stops making out with Zell) "What was that?"

Zell: "Oh no! Leo is done with her laundry! Back to positions,
everyone!"

(suddenly, the store is back in order, along with the rest of the
customers by the magical Full-Revive magic, the teachers and
Quistis are magicly out of Hawaii and are sitting at a table,
discussing boring things that teachers do, Eddie runs off to stash
the potatoes that she stole from the train, Rinoa comes back, only
wet from her shower, and the rest of the Final Fantasy 8 gang are
talking)

Leo: (walks back) "I'm done..." (stops) "Wait, you guys weren't
doing what I think you were doing, did you?"

All: (looks innocent and like angels)

Leo: "You guys were playing strip poker, weren't you!"

Squall: "Huh?"

Zell: "What's that?!"

Irvine: "Oh no!"

Mr. Barker: "Strip poker?"

Mr. Graves: "Huh?"

Selphie: "Squall already said that."

Rinoa: "We know."

Seifer: "Doesn't mean he can't say it also."

Quistis: "Yeah, free country."

Eddie: "Eee?"

Leo: "Okay, that subject was changed fast! Well, I gotta dry my
clothes now. See you guys in a bit." (walks away)

Faronon: (runs back in, her hair and clothes are messed up, along
with the blue-haired mute freak we all know as Serge from Crono
Cross-yes, I know Faronon is going to kill me for calling Serge a
freak, but oh well! Authors can have their fun, can't they?) "PARTY
TIME!" (runs back with Serge to continue whatever they were doing
but shall not be mentioned in this fic because then it would be a
lemon)

(everything goes back to the way it was)

[back at the Laguna Shrine]

Mr. Bennett: (wakes up) "Hey....guys? I kind of....need....help....
Come on....this isn't funny!"

[back at the Pizza Place]

(everything is going just like it was before, you know the drill:
Manager and customers were killed by Irvine, Squall, and Seifer,
the teachers and Quistis end up in Hawaii again, Zell and Selphie
continue to make out, and Rinoa is planning world domination with
the other sorceresses)

???: "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-"

All: (covers their ears)

Irvine: "Oh my god...."

Mr. Grave: "I'M DEAF!"

Mr. Barker: (falls on the floor, twitching and whispering) "The horror....
the horror...."

???: "-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP....!"

Leo: (walks back in) "Well, my laundry is done."

All: "KILL IT!"

Squall: (runs up towards the washing machine and drying and
beats them both to a bloody pulp)

All: "YAY!"

(back at the Laguna Shrine)

(Mr. Bennett is still hanging. Then, out of the shadows, comes
something so horrifying....)

Laguna: "Hey, uh, what am I doing here?"

Mr. Bennett: "Not another Final Fantasy 8 character... Hey, can you
help me get down from here?"

Laguna: "Sorry dude, but this is their game." (points towards the
Moombas and Green Monkeys)

Mr. Bennett: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....!"


To Be Continued.... (dun dun dun!)

===========================================
Will Mr. Bennett ever be set free from Laguna's Shrine? Will Mr.
Bennett be used as a human sacrifice for Laguna? Will anyone even
notice that Mr. Bennett is even gone? And will Mr. Graves come back
from being eaten by the waves? Stay tuned to find out!
(Dun-Dun-DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!)
===========================================