A/N:
Wow! I actually wrote another LotR fic! It's been awhile! My typical, serious
Frodo angst. It will be a strange day indeed when I write something different.
This was just a spur-of-the-moment type thing, it's 4 a.m. (but no, I'm not on
a sugar high ^_~) and I felt the desire to write. Anywho, just read it, and
maybe you'll review? Hey, I can be optimistic ^_^
No
Regrets
Such a failure I
am. Only out of pity did they allow me to go to Valinor. You see, I am Frodo
Baggins, called the Ringbearer by many. I was entrusted with the task of
bringing Sauron's One Ring to Mount Doom to destroy it. Sounds easy enough, but
as I said, I failed miserably. The only thing that saved us all was Gollum, the
pathetic creature he is. It's sad to think that when it came down to it, he was
the one to save Middle Earth and not I. Valinor has not helped my spirits any,
rather it has brought me to an emotional low. Seeing everyone else happy only
makes me realize my own pain even more.
"If
only I had one more chance," I thought to myself. "I know I wouldn't fail."
That
can be arranged.
"Who
said that?" I said, wheeling around. No one was there.
Hello,
Frodo. You may not know me, but I know a great deal about you.
"Reveal
yourself!" I demanded. The voice chuckled.
As
you wish, they said, and everything went black.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I awoke sometime later, the exact time could not be determined. I
felt like I was floating in mid-air, as I was suspended in a universe of white.
Nothing living could be seen.
"Where am I?" I asked, confused.
I brought you here. I am your creator, Frodo. Everything in this
entire world is my creation. I am the One, Illuvatar to the Elves, though you
may call me Eru.
"What did you do to me?" I yelled. "Why am I here?"
I heard you musing, wanting another chance to prove yourself. You
are currently suspended in time and space. No time will pass during your
adventure. Are you sure that you want to go back and change what you have done?
"Yes," I replied certainly. "Take me back
to that time."
Very well, although it will require delicate refining of your
timeline. Come, I will show you what I mean.
I was taken
from the white void into a landscape of black. Filling the space was literally
millions of tiny lines, all intertwined and branching of one another. Some were
constantly in motion, while others were still forever.
Timelines, Eru explained. Everyone
has one, and it is the only concrete evidence of the past. You may only go back
on your timeline, never forward. A complicated system, really. Now, it is time
Frodo. I hope your mind is clearer after this.
I felt a dreamlike trance coming on. I had the pleasant feeling of
falling, and saw no more.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
I rubbed my
eyes as I awoke. Sam and I were in Mordor, he carrying me on his back. We were
climbing up Mount Doom and I felt so exhausted and weary.
"Almost
there Mr. Frodo," Sam reassured. I tried to smile, but couldn't find my
strength. We went at a slow pace and I felt a sense of urgency.
"Please
hurry," I choked out. My throat was parched and I could barely talk anymore.
Sam only nodded in his obedient way. I felt myself drifting in and out of
sleep, until he gently laid me down.
"We've
made it," he whispered. "Now, for the final stage." I hauled myself up on my feet
and staggered up the last final feet. I was at the top now, and kept walking
until I heard a muffled shout. I turned around and saw Gollum pounced on top of
Sam. Sam tried desperately to push him off, but Gollum had gotten a hold of
Sam's knife and stabbed him fiercely with it. I screamed in anguish, which only
drew Gollum's attention. He ran over to me, and I willed myself to head to the
Cracks of Doom, hoping to throw the ring in once and for all. I took it out and
prepared myself to toss it in, but Gollum suddenly leaped and pushed me to the
ground. The ring flew out of my hand and he was quicker than I. Before I could
get up, he had found it and put it on. I sensed the Red Eye of Sauron
perceiving us once and for all, and Gollum danced around happily.
"Precious,
precious, oh my precious," he sang in his joy, oblivious to the rest of the
world. I felt incredible rage at the nerve of him trying to steal what was
rightfully mine. I tried to tackle him, but he scampered away, finding a
newfound strength. Streaks of black now filled the sky and eight Nazgul
surrounded us, quickly piercing Gollum with their blade. I cowered in the
corner, not knowing what else to do. It was a horrible mistake, as the Nazgul
killed Gollum instead of sparing him to be one of their servants. They took the
ring and flew away, their duty done at last. Sam lay dead a short distance
away, but it didn't matter anymore. Now we would all be the Dark Lord's
servants.
*
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
I was jolted
back to the present with a gasp. I was back in the black empty space, shaking
from nerves.
Well, well,
Frodo, the past is not a nice thing, now is it? Even if you would have been
able to destroy the ring, which in that situation you could have, events may
not turn out as you would think. Timelines are a delicate thing, if even
slightly disturbed everyone else's changes as well. Do you understand that now?
"No," I replied
defiantly. "It may not have turned out that way. What if I would have managed
to actually throw the ring into the Cracks of Doom? None of that would have
happened."
Quite so,
but…well, I'll let you see for yourself.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
I was back into
an alternate reality, this one seeming to take place after the destruction of
the ring. There was a huge celebration going on, and I was being praised for my
incredible courage and bravery. I smiled and thanked everyone, actually feeling
worthy of the compliments this time. I found some of my old friends and caught
up on their stories of the war. I noticed someone was missing.
"Where's
Pippin?" I asked Merry. It was unusual to see the two apart. Merry lowered his
eyes.
"He…perished
in battle. Crushed by a cave troll, they think if only they had been quicker in
recovering him…" He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I still don't believe
it." His voice was now barely a whisper. Like a puzzle, the pieces all fit now.
In my actions, although I had succeeded, I had wasted precious minutes, minutes
in which one of my best friends was dying. If I had never hesitated, or just
walked a little bit faster up the mountain…perhaps he would be alive today.
Fate had a horrible way of never working out the way we wanted it to.
*
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Now young
Baggins, do you understand? Do you understand everything is connected in a
delicate way and one disturbance will inevitably change others' lives besides
yours?
"Yes," I
answered shamefully. I had been so blind until now. My actions affected what
happened to everyone else. I had simply been selfish and naïve, what happened
had happened for a reason.
Very good, I
am glad I have shown you what you never saw before. Now, you must return to
your own time, I am sure there are people waiting for you.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
I was back in Valinor, sitting by the fire. Time had not passed since
I had left, just as Eru said. I suddenly felt the will to live again. Although
I couldn't change my past, the future was left up to me. I couldn't live my
life feeling regret for circumstances beyond my control. I breathed out deeply,
smiling genuinely for the first time in ages.
"No regrets, what may be will be," I said
softly to myself. My eyes had that glazy look that they took on when I was deep
in thought.
"Look thoughtful tonight, Frodo." It was
Gandalf, coming to sit down beside me. "What's on your mind?"
"Everything," I muttered. He nodded
knowingly.
"Yes," he said in his calm, reassuring
voice. "Don't let it burden you."
"I won't," I replied honestly. "I'm ready
to let go of yesterday and look for tomorrow."
