Disclaimer: J.K.Rowling is the best! And AstRONomy is such a cool subject.
As/N: I AM FREEE!!!!!! ("Pinky calm your self you only got out of school not prison!") But Bwain, school is pwison!(*roles eye balls slowly up to the heavens* Well not precisely pinky*…") yeah yeah bla bla bla WHO CARES?!(Oh just read the story.)*Pinky starts jumping off the walls*. Bwain, I mean Brain takes over the keyboard. Yes well the plot is mine, but Pinky is helping immensely (I'm doin' all da wok!) Pinky, stop interupting! Yes well, I have been rather busy…(Writing X-men fanfiction you mean!) Pinky, get away from the keyboard!! Pinky! PINKY!!!!! …..oh never mind just read the story.
Any lines between *stars* are Ron's alter ego talking.
~*~*~
It was a typical day at Hogwarts.
"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU MALFOY!"
Well maybe not so typical.
"I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY WEASLEY!"
There was a blasting of wands and a big cloud of smoke from Ron's side as the two archenemies began shouting endless curses at each other in mindless rage. Draco waited until the smoke cleared to see what he had done…
"Oops" came out of him.
"Meow" came the reply.
"OOPS" he repeated "I'm in biiiiig trouble," he groaned. It was well known that using transfiguration spells on students was an offence that got people expelled no matter who their parents were. If McGongal or Dumbledore found out he was toast. Draco tried to remember any reversal charms but just then he heard something that made his skin crawl.
"Malfoy what are you doing in the corridor?" came McGonagall's voice "Don't you have class?"
Malfoy froze. Yep, he was toast. He had to come up with an excuse FAST.
"Er…y-yes p-professor I was just er… p-potions…uh…you now how professor
Snape is when us students are late and I was just… the bathroom… and bye!"
He ran as fast as he could, whimpering down the hall. Ron just stared after him…what was wrong with Malfoy and didn't the professor see that there had been a wizarding battle going on… what was wrong with her? Didn't she see him? Suddenly he watched as Professor McGonagall looked over to him and then to the left and the right (you never knew when Peeves was going to show up). What was wrong with her? Just then the unthinkable happened…she scooped him up and started kissing him and rubbing him against her cheek!
"Whoah professor yuck * spit spit * GO AWAY! " But only meows came out! "Oh my GOD!!!! I'm-I'm-I'm---AAA---" Professor McGonagall started to scratch him behind the ears. With out thinking Ron found himself purring and that is the last thing you want to find yourself doing after you have just discovered you're a cat trust me. Professor McGonagall put him down as if he were made of crystal.
"Bye kitty witty see you waeter" she said waving at him merrily.
'Ok…' Ron thought 'Don't panic…I am a CAT… because of Malfoy -He is dead meat-*oh what are you going to do Ron, spit a hairball at him?* SHUT UP MIND… so the best thing to do is to stay calm, *WHAT DO YOU MEAN STAY CALM, RON ,YOU ARE A CAT!'* he thought as his orange stripy fur started to stand up on end.
With out thinking he began to lick his paws…'OH YUCK WHAT AM I DOING!!!!' his mind screamed angrily…still he reasoned he couldn't go around school with all that dust on his fur and with his coat sticking up, what would the other cats say…
*Will you stop thinking about the other cats and starting trying to think about how to get us out of this mess!*
'Look Mind, I know you're not happy, but if you had thought of a quicker spell to yell at Malfoy, then none of this would have happened so shut up! I'm in charge now.'
*Oh great we're leaving the stupid one in charge…who can't even deal with his crush on Hermione…With you at the head, we'll probably end up curled up in her lap for the rest of our LIVES!!!! *
'I'm warning you Mind, keep it up and I shut you up for good.' *HUMPH!*
'Now the important thing is to try and get to the Potions Dungeon, so I can find Harry and Herm. They'll know what to do…'
*If they know who we are*
'Oh, be quiet already. Of course they will.'
*I'm telling you, their just going to think we're some stray cat they haven't seen around…*
'Mind, this IS your last warning. One more word and I shut you down.'
*Yeah yeah…*
Ron, now a rather cute orangey kitten, began to patter down the halls of Hogwarts trying to sniff out Harry and Hermione. On time as usual, the bell rang and Ron saw Harry and Hermione come out of potions looking sour… No surprise there, It WAS Snape's class after all. Harry looked especially disgusted with his lips pursed and his eyes narrowed.
"Stop it Harry its not Ron's fault!" Hermione grumbled to him.
'What's not my fault?' Ron thought.
" Listen Hermione I know Ron hates potions but that isn't an excuse for him not to come, I mean I had to have Malfoy as a partner today and scary things happen with him around…Did you see how he kept knocking things over! What was wrong with him?!"
Hermione let out a snort.
"So what's it got to do with Ron?" she asked.
" Well if he had come to class I would have of…uh…been able to be his partner."
Hermione let out another snort.
"Yeah, whatever Harry-hey who's this?" she asked as she spotted Ron walking towards them.
'Oh Hermione, there you are, you got to help us, I mean, ME. you see, Malfoy, THAT PRAT, turned me---You mean us--- Stop, interrupting, do you want to confuse her? I mean he turned me into a cat and you got to reverse the spell and…
"Ooooohhhh, he's so cute," murmured Hermione, "Listen to him meow, oh sweetie, are you hungry?"
'Hermione! Not now, didn't you hear I word I said! This is serious!'
"Harry I think he is hungry, we should take him back to the common room with us."
'Hermione, don't you know me?' *Ha I TOLD you…*
But Harry was talking by now.
"Well you'd better not show him to Ron you now how he hates cats, Now Ginny on the other hand…" Hermione ignored the dreamy look on Harry's face as she bent down to scratch Ron on the head. The rest of the class was exisiting the dungeon and the last to leave was...
Draco suddenly turned the corner facing them. Ron automatically started spiting and hissing at him in rage, his fur standing on end. Draco on the other hand looked like he was trying to scream but no sound was coming out till finally…
"AAAAHHHHH!" he burst and went running down the corridor.
Harry had a big grin on his face that clashed with the look of disbelief at the same time.
"I always said he was weird," murmured Hermione with an eyebrow raised as Harry snorted and started chuckling evilly.
"Hey! A cat that scares Malfoy! Cool! Can I have him Hermione?"
"No, Harry, I'm going to have to give him to professor McGonagall."
They went down a few corridors until they reached the staff room where Hermione knocked on the door. Professor McGonagall emerged. "Yes Miss Granger?"
"We found this kitten after class," she said raising him up at professor McGonagall.
"You don't now who's kitten it is?" she asked.
"No Professor, we don't think it belongs to anyone. We haven't seen him around."
"Hmmm… I will take it for awhile, I'll think of someone to give him to."
"Ok professor but just in case I am always available," Hermione called to her as she and Harry left.
'Oh no' Ron thought as he watched his love-salvation, Mind, not love-*Yeah sure right*--- walk down the away from him.
Professor McGonagall took him into the staff room.
"Oooooohhh" squealed professor Sinistra.
Professor McGonagall put him down in the circle of female professors.
Professor Sprout put some catnip next to him as professor Trelawney said, "Let me check if it's a boy or a girly…"
"Hey professor don't touch me there!" He meowed in embarrassment, but before he could bat her hand away the catnip hit him. Without even knowing what was going on he began to pounce around on it.
"Oh, he is soooooooo cute, squealed Trelawney, as McGonagall rolled her eyes. Still she had to admit he did look adorable rolling all over the table with the catnip in his paws…maybe she would keep him…
Suddenly all noise stopped as the door flew opened. They all turned their heads towards the door only to see Severus Snape.
"Honestly" he said looking at all of them in disgust "A feline? How childish."
"Well Severus just because we like cats doesn't mean that…" professor Sinistra tried to finish her words but professor McGonagall raised her hand in silence.
"As a matter of fact, Severus, we all have classes at this time, which we need to attend. I will leave the cat here until further arrangements can be made. In the meantime Severus, do NOT harm him, " she said coming back to her real self. With that, all the teachers stood and headed for the door leaving a stuttering Snape behind them.
Once the room had cleared he stepped over to Ron who gulped at the sight of Snape. Looking him over carefully, the potion's professor picked him up gingerly by the scruff of the neck and started inspecting him.
"Hmmm," he said "Blue eyes with an orange stripy coat, as if we don't have enough Weasleys around here. Thank god that the two twins graduated last year. I don't think I could have taken another year of the ingredients cabinet exploding in the middle of the night or my toilet bursting into flames upon opening the door...But you are kind of…well…cute."
Ron's jaw dropped. Was this Professor Snape? Snape sat down in his chair at the corner of the staff room placing Ron in his lap. Ron wasn't sure how to react... the person he hated most in the world, after Voldemort and Malfoy, was scratching his head!!
"You know I had a cat once…he wasn't as cute as you, but he was alright. He drowned unfortunately in a potion I was making that had a great deal of catnip in it." Snaped shudder a little. "Needless to say I never used that particular potion again." Snape had turned Ron on his back and was scratching his tummy. "Would you like to stay with me? I'll call you Ron after that hopeless boy in class that's in love with the know-it-all he sits with…but that's another story. Would like that, kitty? Ronniekins?"
Ron felt his whole mind reeling. He was a cat. He was in Professor Snape's lap. Professor Snape was calling him Ronniekins.
'THIS IS A DISASTER!'
*I don't know…this guy know how to rub a tummy*
'Mind, this is SNAPE we are talking about!'
*You mean thinking about*
'WHATEVER!! It's just not right, it not human…oh yes, just a little more to the right…that's it that's the spot professor Snape, purr purr…wait did he say I was in love with Hermione?'
*duh*
'Maybe we'll---I mean I---will stay with him after all…"
AN: Ron's a cat. Snape's being nice. WILL THE MADDNESS EVER STOP!! Not while we're in charge….BWHAHAHA!!!!
As/N: I AM FREEE!!!!!! ("Pinky calm your self you only got out of school not prison!") But Bwain, school is pwison!(*roles eye balls slowly up to the heavens* Well not precisely pinky*…") yeah yeah bla bla bla WHO CARES?!(Oh just read the story.)*Pinky starts jumping off the walls*. Bwain, I mean Brain takes over the keyboard. Yes well the plot is mine, but Pinky is helping immensely (I'm doin' all da wok!) Pinky, stop interupting! Yes well, I have been rather busy…(Writing X-men fanfiction you mean!) Pinky, get away from the keyboard!! Pinky! PINKY!!!!! …..oh never mind just read the story.
Any lines between *stars* are Ron's alter ego talking.
~*~*~
It was a typical day at Hogwarts.
"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU MALFOY!"
Well maybe not so typical.
"I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY WEASLEY!"
There was a blasting of wands and a big cloud of smoke from Ron's side as the two archenemies began shouting endless curses at each other in mindless rage. Draco waited until the smoke cleared to see what he had done…
"Oops" came out of him.
"Meow" came the reply.
"OOPS" he repeated "I'm in biiiiig trouble," he groaned. It was well known that using transfiguration spells on students was an offence that got people expelled no matter who their parents were. If McGongal or Dumbledore found out he was toast. Draco tried to remember any reversal charms but just then he heard something that made his skin crawl.
"Malfoy what are you doing in the corridor?" came McGonagall's voice "Don't you have class?"
Malfoy froze. Yep, he was toast. He had to come up with an excuse FAST.
"Er…y-yes p-professor I was just er… p-potions…uh…you now how professor
Snape is when us students are late and I was just… the bathroom… and bye!"
He ran as fast as he could, whimpering down the hall. Ron just stared after him…what was wrong with Malfoy and didn't the professor see that there had been a wizarding battle going on… what was wrong with her? Didn't she see him? Suddenly he watched as Professor McGonagall looked over to him and then to the left and the right (you never knew when Peeves was going to show up). What was wrong with her? Just then the unthinkable happened…she scooped him up and started kissing him and rubbing him against her cheek!
"Whoah professor yuck * spit spit * GO AWAY! " But only meows came out! "Oh my GOD!!!! I'm-I'm-I'm---AAA---" Professor McGonagall started to scratch him behind the ears. With out thinking Ron found himself purring and that is the last thing you want to find yourself doing after you have just discovered you're a cat trust me. Professor McGonagall put him down as if he were made of crystal.
"Bye kitty witty see you waeter" she said waving at him merrily.
'Ok…' Ron thought 'Don't panic…I am a CAT… because of Malfoy -He is dead meat-*oh what are you going to do Ron, spit a hairball at him?* SHUT UP MIND… so the best thing to do is to stay calm, *WHAT DO YOU MEAN STAY CALM, RON ,YOU ARE A CAT!'* he thought as his orange stripy fur started to stand up on end.
With out thinking he began to lick his paws…'OH YUCK WHAT AM I DOING!!!!' his mind screamed angrily…still he reasoned he couldn't go around school with all that dust on his fur and with his coat sticking up, what would the other cats say…
*Will you stop thinking about the other cats and starting trying to think about how to get us out of this mess!*
'Look Mind, I know you're not happy, but if you had thought of a quicker spell to yell at Malfoy, then none of this would have happened so shut up! I'm in charge now.'
*Oh great we're leaving the stupid one in charge…who can't even deal with his crush on Hermione…With you at the head, we'll probably end up curled up in her lap for the rest of our LIVES!!!! *
'I'm warning you Mind, keep it up and I shut you up for good.' *HUMPH!*
'Now the important thing is to try and get to the Potions Dungeon, so I can find Harry and Herm. They'll know what to do…'
*If they know who we are*
'Oh, be quiet already. Of course they will.'
*I'm telling you, their just going to think we're some stray cat they haven't seen around…*
'Mind, this IS your last warning. One more word and I shut you down.'
*Yeah yeah…*
Ron, now a rather cute orangey kitten, began to patter down the halls of Hogwarts trying to sniff out Harry and Hermione. On time as usual, the bell rang and Ron saw Harry and Hermione come out of potions looking sour… No surprise there, It WAS Snape's class after all. Harry looked especially disgusted with his lips pursed and his eyes narrowed.
"Stop it Harry its not Ron's fault!" Hermione grumbled to him.
'What's not my fault?' Ron thought.
" Listen Hermione I know Ron hates potions but that isn't an excuse for him not to come, I mean I had to have Malfoy as a partner today and scary things happen with him around…Did you see how he kept knocking things over! What was wrong with him?!"
Hermione let out a snort.
"So what's it got to do with Ron?" she asked.
" Well if he had come to class I would have of…uh…been able to be his partner."
Hermione let out another snort.
"Yeah, whatever Harry-hey who's this?" she asked as she spotted Ron walking towards them.
'Oh Hermione, there you are, you got to help us, I mean, ME. you see, Malfoy, THAT PRAT, turned me---You mean us--- Stop, interrupting, do you want to confuse her? I mean he turned me into a cat and you got to reverse the spell and…
"Ooooohhhh, he's so cute," murmured Hermione, "Listen to him meow, oh sweetie, are you hungry?"
'Hermione! Not now, didn't you hear I word I said! This is serious!'
"Harry I think he is hungry, we should take him back to the common room with us."
'Hermione, don't you know me?' *Ha I TOLD you…*
But Harry was talking by now.
"Well you'd better not show him to Ron you now how he hates cats, Now Ginny on the other hand…" Hermione ignored the dreamy look on Harry's face as she bent down to scratch Ron on the head. The rest of the class was exisiting the dungeon and the last to leave was...
Draco suddenly turned the corner facing them. Ron automatically started spiting and hissing at him in rage, his fur standing on end. Draco on the other hand looked like he was trying to scream but no sound was coming out till finally…
"AAAAHHHHH!" he burst and went running down the corridor.
Harry had a big grin on his face that clashed with the look of disbelief at the same time.
"I always said he was weird," murmured Hermione with an eyebrow raised as Harry snorted and started chuckling evilly.
"Hey! A cat that scares Malfoy! Cool! Can I have him Hermione?"
"No, Harry, I'm going to have to give him to professor McGonagall."
They went down a few corridors until they reached the staff room where Hermione knocked on the door. Professor McGonagall emerged. "Yes Miss Granger?"
"We found this kitten after class," she said raising him up at professor McGonagall.
"You don't now who's kitten it is?" she asked.
"No Professor, we don't think it belongs to anyone. We haven't seen him around."
"Hmmm… I will take it for awhile, I'll think of someone to give him to."
"Ok professor but just in case I am always available," Hermione called to her as she and Harry left.
'Oh no' Ron thought as he watched his love-salvation, Mind, not love-*Yeah sure right*--- walk down the away from him.
Professor McGonagall took him into the staff room.
"Oooooohhh" squealed professor Sinistra.
Professor McGonagall put him down in the circle of female professors.
Professor Sprout put some catnip next to him as professor Trelawney said, "Let me check if it's a boy or a girly…"
"Hey professor don't touch me there!" He meowed in embarrassment, but before he could bat her hand away the catnip hit him. Without even knowing what was going on he began to pounce around on it.
"Oh, he is soooooooo cute, squealed Trelawney, as McGonagall rolled her eyes. Still she had to admit he did look adorable rolling all over the table with the catnip in his paws…maybe she would keep him…
Suddenly all noise stopped as the door flew opened. They all turned their heads towards the door only to see Severus Snape.
"Honestly" he said looking at all of them in disgust "A feline? How childish."
"Well Severus just because we like cats doesn't mean that…" professor Sinistra tried to finish her words but professor McGonagall raised her hand in silence.
"As a matter of fact, Severus, we all have classes at this time, which we need to attend. I will leave the cat here until further arrangements can be made. In the meantime Severus, do NOT harm him, " she said coming back to her real self. With that, all the teachers stood and headed for the door leaving a stuttering Snape behind them.
Once the room had cleared he stepped over to Ron who gulped at the sight of Snape. Looking him over carefully, the potion's professor picked him up gingerly by the scruff of the neck and started inspecting him.
"Hmmm," he said "Blue eyes with an orange stripy coat, as if we don't have enough Weasleys around here. Thank god that the two twins graduated last year. I don't think I could have taken another year of the ingredients cabinet exploding in the middle of the night or my toilet bursting into flames upon opening the door...But you are kind of…well…cute."
Ron's jaw dropped. Was this Professor Snape? Snape sat down in his chair at the corner of the staff room placing Ron in his lap. Ron wasn't sure how to react... the person he hated most in the world, after Voldemort and Malfoy, was scratching his head!!
"You know I had a cat once…he wasn't as cute as you, but he was alright. He drowned unfortunately in a potion I was making that had a great deal of catnip in it." Snaped shudder a little. "Needless to say I never used that particular potion again." Snape had turned Ron on his back and was scratching his tummy. "Would you like to stay with me? I'll call you Ron after that hopeless boy in class that's in love with the know-it-all he sits with…but that's another story. Would like that, kitty? Ronniekins?"
Ron felt his whole mind reeling. He was a cat. He was in Professor Snape's lap. Professor Snape was calling him Ronniekins.
'THIS IS A DISASTER!'
*I don't know…this guy know how to rub a tummy*
'Mind, this is SNAPE we are talking about!'
*You mean thinking about*
'WHATEVER!! It's just not right, it not human…oh yes, just a little more to the right…that's it that's the spot professor Snape, purr purr…wait did he say I was in love with Hermione?'
*duh*
'Maybe we'll---I mean I---will stay with him after all…"
AN: Ron's a cat. Snape's being nice. WILL THE MADDNESS EVER STOP!! Not while we're in charge….BWHAHAHA!!!!