Disclaimer: We own nothing duh.
AN: Our special thanks to Rin Berry again because we like you! And to Haley our close second, because we like Remy and Rogue together forever too! (I'm writing a Remy fic called Just Watching and Cracks on the Surface under the name Opaque. That's just Brain work though so be prepared it's a really different style)
We like ALL your names so just wait and see which one won.
The next morning Hermione awoke and stretched arousing a sleeping Ron/cat from her…well… chest. After a few moments of droopy morning wake, she shot out of bed.
"RON. I have to see if he's back!" said Hermione throwing the covers-and the cat-on the floor.
'Hermione, that's no way to say good morning!'
Hermione turned quickly at the sound of muffled from meowing. "Oh, I'm sorry kitty, but we have to find Harry and see if Ron has come back."
Scooping the cat into her arms, she made her way over to the boys dormitory.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Seamus was dreaming of Lavender's neck… Neville was dreaming of missing Toads getting eaten by owls and HARRY was having a wonderful dream. He was dancing on a sliver lake with a girl…a beautiful red headed girl…
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Somehow the music was getting interrupted by a banging, so he rolled over and stuffed his head under the pillow. Oh that was better…back to the silver lake and the BEAUTIFUL red head…
BANG!!!!!! BANG!!!!!! BANG!!!!!! BANG!!!!!!!
"ALRIGHT ALREADY!!!!!" he shouted throwing the covers off cursing the person who had interrupted his most favorite dream.
"All right now what's the big idea of waking us all up…Hermione! What's wrong?"
"Did Ron come in last night?"
"Err---that is----well…."
"Oh Harry we HAVE to go McGonagall."
Nodding, in agreement the two parted ways to get dressed. A few moments later Harry skipped down the steps (Hermione took longer, I mean come on she IS a girl) and Harry entered the common to find a sleeping Ginny sprawled out on the chair. Walking over to her, he leaned over the sleeping beauty (AWE Bwain!!! This is supposed to be a comedy! Not a sappy Fluff story!!! Yeah yeah, just a minute)
"Ginny, Ginny?" he said softly shaking her shoulder.
"Hmm…Ron? Is that you?"
:"No Ginny its Harry, Ron---didn't come in last night."
"Oh, Harry, now I really am scared! I waited up all night for him..!"
"Shhhh…Me and Hermione are going to McGonagall right now." He said soothingly wrapping his arm around her quaking shoulders…
Just then Ron came padding softly down from the girls dormitory stretching and contemplating breakfast… When he saw HARRY AND GINNY WRAPPED IN EACH OTHER'S ARMS ON THE COUCH!
"Harry YOU ARE A DEAD MAN!!!" he screeched and making that same flying Olympic leap headed straight for Harry's head. '**Well actually Ron he's just a boy, not really a man….But hell we can kill him anyways…Go for the jugular! Bite scratch, tear his hair out!!!**'
"AHHHHH, Ginny he's trying to rip my head off!!!!" screamed Harry trying to dismantle the orange ball of fur that was entangled in his hair.
"I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR HEAD OFF POTTER!!!' he meowed.
"What's wrong with him, Harry? Did you step on his tail?"
"NOOOO! JUST GET HIM OFF OF ME!!!"
"Okay okay, come here, god you are just like Ron…," said Ginny wiping the tears from her eyes as she untangled the still struggling Ron/cat from Harry's hair. "What are we going to call you?"
But naming the cat was the last thing on anyones's mind.
Making their way up to professor McGonagall's office was kind of like watching a funeral procession. First came Hermione followed by Harry and Ginny (standing awfully close together) and last and orange cute stripy kitty going, "Meow! Meowowow! Meeeeowwwww!!!"
##Translation##
"Guys, guys! It's me! I'm right here! **they can't hear you…** They can to! They just…don't quite understand me… **Imagine that! Don't they have cat Dictionaries? Couldn't you precious Her-mi-one figure it out!** hey, Mind just leave her out of it!!! Or I'll--- **You'll WHAT! Shut me down? You couldn't make it down the hall with out me!!** Why you little…"
Ginny turned around in between her sniffles to look at the cat who had gone from meow, to growling to…chasing his own tail?
"Harry that cat is weird."
"Tell me about it."
When they finally reached Professor McGonagall's room it was Harry who approached her.
"Uh…professor." Harry piped as the reached the office. Professor McGonagall looked up from the papers.
"Yes Mr. Potter?"
"We think Ron is missing professor," said Harry.
"What makes you think that?" said professor McGonagall.
"Well he wasn't in class yesterday and we waited for him all night and---he's just not here!"
From that moment on Hogwarts was in an up roar. Ten minutes after the funeral procession, I mean Harry, Hermione and Ginny reached professor McGonagall, Hagrid was up and ready, armed with his precious Fang, searching the Forbidden Forest for him (or rather his remains). But they come up with nothing. The school was searched, as difficult as that was considering rooms in Hogwarts come and go as they please, but still no Ron.
Harry collapsed in a heap in the common room next to a sobbing Ginny and an ashen Hermione. "This is CARZY!" he shouted. "How many places can a six foot tall red head hide!!!" But still no Ron. Of course there was no Ron. RON was the orange kitten tripping everyone's feet all day and meowing like there was no tomorrow.
"MEOW!!!!!!" he bellowed, (if orange stripy kittens CAN bellow), much to Harry's announce.
"WILL SOMBODY SHUT THAT CAT UP!!!!" Parvati yelled from the other side of the room.
"YEAH DOESN'T HE KNOW A TRAGEDY WHEN IT HAPPENS!!!" yelled Seamus looking up from Lavender's neck.
Ron was quiet. "Fine. Sit and mope all day and DON'T find me then." He mumbled ignoring Mind, who was cracking up laughing in his subconscious.
****
The next day wasn't any better. Hermione was trying not to cry and Harry was comforting Ginny (still, you would think he'd find something better to do).
"He's the best brother ever! Oh where could he be? I hope he's all right! Maybe I should go write to mum and dad. " Ginny kept wailing through the sobs.
"Shh there there Ginny I'm sure he's alright," Harry kept saying in a dreamy voice patting her head.
"Will you two be quiet. Wailing over him is-gulp-not going to bring -double gulp-him back and I'm trying to study Astronomy," sniffled Hermione as she ruined her report by smearing it with tearstains.
"Astronomy…Ast-RON-omy…Oh Harry!" Ginny wailed. But Harry didn't seem to mind, after all the more she cried the more she need someone to pat her back and her hair and brush the tears off her face…(yeah yeah we get the point, Pinky…BE QUIET BWAIN, DIS IS MY PART)
* * * *
As night came and the Gryffindors all gathered in the common room, miserable at the loss of their friend and getting rather annoyed at the CAT that kept meowing ALL DAY LONG.
"I think I know what his problem is," said Dean.
"What? Please tell me before I drown him," grumbled Harry.
'Yeah, you wish Potter. Once I get my claws-I mean hands on you---you're gonna be a dead boy who lived. First my sister (and don't think I don't know EXACTLY what all the comforting is about SIR.) and now you think your going to drown me? Well see… **Yeah Potter, we'll BOTH kill you** Did we actually agree on something? **Yeah…scarier things have happened…** Like what? Agreeing with Malfoy? **Well we did let Snape rub our tummy…** True…."
"I think we need to name him," said Dean.
"Oh, that's right! He still doesn't have a name," said Hermione gathering up Ron. "Okay, any suggestions?"
"Oh I know! I know! Lets call him Logan…or Wolverine. And we could call him Wolvie for short."
Silence.
Then came a "HUH?"
"Oh come one, don't you people read X-men?"
Hermione Parvati and Ginny all exchanged glances. "Errr----No."
"Oh wait I do!" shouted Lavender much to Seamus's surprise. "Logan is cute but Remy is just dreamy!!!"
Seamus's jaw dropped and then came the "Ahem, ahem!!!"
"But not as dreamy as you dear…" (and they start smooching and drop out of the conversation)
Dean turned away from the sickening sight and returned to the rest of the Gryffindors. "Well, it's this really cool Muggle comic, and Logan is THE COOLEST character---"
"Not as cool as Remy, " gurgled Lavender in between a smooch.
"Lav, just stick to kissing Seamus and keep out of the conversation," grumbled Dean returning his attention to the still unconvinced Gryffindors.
"Well, he's got these claws and the just pop out and make this SHINKT noise, that he's famous for and these side burns and he smokes cigars and he was in love with a redhead called Jean, but then the movie came out and all these people think he should go with this other girl called Rogue , (who was a real babe, but then they cast Anna Paquin and they screwed her up) and she used to be in love with Gambit, that's Remy, the guy Lav's in love with after Seamus, and they were like really cute together but anyways, I THINK he should go with Storm but Marvel hasn't figured that out yet and---"
Dean began to slow down…."So I thought we could name him that…"
He took a quick look at Harry's raised eyebrow. "Or not. Hehehe…wrong obsession?"
"Dean, stick to drawing," said Parviti taking the quivering Ron/cat from Hermione.
"Okay, any other suggestions?"
"We could name him, Pipistrelle," said Parviti "It's kinda cute."
"I like it better than rose petal…but don't you think that's more of a Persian cat name? I don't hink this kitten could carry it off," said Neville leaning off the floor. "Call him something short and sweet, like Fluff or Snowball or… you know Whiskers …or Muffy."
Hermione tilted her head. "Nnoo…I think he needs something a little more exotic than that."
Ginny popped up, "What about something like Ramsus or something…that's an Egyptian name that Bill told me about."
"I like Ramsus," said Harry.
Parvati snorted, "Pipistrelle is better."
"It's a bat's name."
"Says who?"
"SAYS ME."
"I still like Wolvie," muttered Dean.
"KEEP DRAWING!!" everyone shouted.
"What about Seamus," drooled Lavender.
"KEEP KISSING!!" everyone shouted.
"But-"
"I think---"
"We should---"
"EVERYBODY BE QUIET!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Hermione. And of course everyone listened because you DON'T argue with Hermione Granger when she gets THAT tone of voice.
"I think we should call him Ron."
Ron purred…"Didn't I tell you, Mind? She is a genius **Yeah whatever Lover Boy **"
Hermione continued, "I mean Ron's gone. We need to do something to remember him by. And he is orange. And he has blue eyes. And kinda Ron's smile…"
"Huh?"
"Well, you get the point. And think, Ron hates cats…and when he comes back…you guys can all tease the heck out of him."
Neville, Dean, Seamus and Harry all exchanged a glance. "Good point, we're calling him Ron."
And so the cat was named…after himself.
****************************************************************************************
Ron was bored. With half of the Gryffindors sniffling over him in the common room and the other half (which contained Hermione) in classes he had nothing to do.
'We could do some exploring…what do you think Mind? (he had taken to talking to Mind a great deal of late) **Well actually that's not a bad idea…Let's GO!**'
So off they, that is HE, traipsed, all four paws padding softly down the stone passages.
"**Um, Ron, where are we going?** Oh I don't know…just lets go have some fun. Oh I know! Snape's Dungeon! He doesn't have class now! **Great! Maybe we can get another tummy rub!**"
Fifteen minutes later they arrived (it took a little longer on all fours and Ron had to stop and lick his fur some on the way).
Snape looked grizzly, gruff, greasy, pale, sickly, mean and generally Snapish. But when he saw Ron/cat at the door an amazing thing happened. PROFESSOR SNAPE SMILED. (I'm not kidding.) well okay Snape smiles all the time but usually because he's fantasizing the death of various Gryffindors, but now he actually look happy. Weird…
"Why Ronniekins! You came for a visit! Well come on and see what Uncle Snapey is fixing up."
Snape picked up Ron a.k.a. Cat a.k.a. Ronniekins and took him over to a boiling kettle of something blue and bubbly.
"This a is called Wartswaggeringsnuff. It's a very very deadly potion my wittle kitty witty Ronniekins but don't worry I don't use on wittle orangy kitties. Now maybe on that miserable red head in my class that's disappeared….Well any ways what it does basically is: Freezes your tongue, makes your face break out in warts, your toes turn blue, your eyes turn black and your nose fall off…"
"Mind, are you thinking what I'm thinking? **Hm…Malfoy?** (In unison) PERFECT"
But their scheming was stopped by a halted by Snape tickling them, I mean Ron, on the tummy.
"Oh purr purrrrr purrrrrrrr…."
Snape pushed his grizzly greasy, black hair out of his face. "Let's check out all my ingredients! Here's Lillyspice, that has Veela powers for love potions…
"**Hermione, I suppose?** Mind, do you have to ask?"
"And this is Nightshade, that's poisonous…"
"We'll add that to the Wartswaggeringsnuff for Malfoy, **You got it!**"
"And this is called Loverleave, which is makes two people in love hate each other."
"Harry! **Are you sure? Maybe we should do it Lavender and Seamus, their getting kind of disgusting** Mind, where are your priorities? WE HAVE TO SAVE GINNY!! **But, Ron, Those two are gross! I say Seamus** Harry! **Seamus!** Harry! **Seamus!** Harr-"
"Ronniekins? What's wrong? Why in the name of Merlin are you growling at your tail?"
Ron snapped out of his argument and purred obligingly. He would deal with Mind later.
Snape settled down behind his desk putting Ron on the desk. "You see, Ronniekins, my life is miserable. No one likes me. No appreciates my work. No one thinks I'm handsome. They all drool over that twit Lockhart. I'm planning on accidentally spiking his wine with Hairfuzzballaire. Make all that weedy hair of his shed like a dog! Hehehe!! Ahem. Anyways, I'm in love. Didn't you know?"
"Can people like Snape fall in love, Mind? **Shh---don't interrupt him, we're getting to the good part."
"…Yes I'min love with-with-with…"
"ALRIGHT ALREADY!!! JUST SAY IT!!!!"
"Kitty witty is something wrong?"
"**You idiot! Now he'll never tell!*** Shut up!, Mind."
"I'm in love with Minerva. She beautiful and smart and funny…"
"And about thirty years older than you? Are you kidding? This guy needs help **Tell me about it and did he say she was funny? Riigghhhttt…that must be when that split personality of hers takes over.** You know, Mind, I don't believe in split personalities…people talking to themselves like they've got other people in their minds? **You're right Ron, completely ridiculous.**"
Just then the bell rang. Snape stopped petting Ron and looked at his time-table. "Oh dear, Ronniekins, I have a class now. I must get you out of here before any of my student show up."
Ron meowed in agreement and jumped off the desk. Besides he had all the information he needed. Just as soon as he could get Malfoy with that Wartswaggeringsnuff…
Ron went tripping down the halls again. It was blissfully free being a cat--- no inhibitions, no worries, no enemies…
"Just where do you think your going, peck?"
Ron turned around slowly. And saw….
And we leave you with a hanger cliff. 'Cliff hanger, Bwain.' That's what I said Pink. 'Um it says Hanger cliff… BASH!! I mean-- Cliffhanger cliffhanger."
Who is the mysterous stranger threatening our poor Ronniekins? Is Ron schizophrenic? Or does he just have a split personality? Is there hope for Snape and McGonagall? Is Harry going to finally get Ginny? Or will Ron kill him first? These and other question to be found out in next weeks episode…
They're Pinky, they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain Brain Brain Brain….
Thanks for all those who suggested names for Our kitten. We liked Ramsus and Pipistrelle best. We'll type more soon!
AN: Our special thanks to Rin Berry again because we like you! And to Haley our close second, because we like Remy and Rogue together forever too! (I'm writing a Remy fic called Just Watching and Cracks on the Surface under the name Opaque. That's just Brain work though so be prepared it's a really different style)
We like ALL your names so just wait and see which one won.
The next morning Hermione awoke and stretched arousing a sleeping Ron/cat from her…well… chest. After a few moments of droopy morning wake, she shot out of bed.
"RON. I have to see if he's back!" said Hermione throwing the covers-and the cat-on the floor.
'Hermione, that's no way to say good morning!'
Hermione turned quickly at the sound of muffled from meowing. "Oh, I'm sorry kitty, but we have to find Harry and see if Ron has come back."
Scooping the cat into her arms, she made her way over to the boys dormitory.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Seamus was dreaming of Lavender's neck… Neville was dreaming of missing Toads getting eaten by owls and HARRY was having a wonderful dream. He was dancing on a sliver lake with a girl…a beautiful red headed girl…
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Somehow the music was getting interrupted by a banging, so he rolled over and stuffed his head under the pillow. Oh that was better…back to the silver lake and the BEAUTIFUL red head…
BANG!!!!!! BANG!!!!!! BANG!!!!!! BANG!!!!!!!
"ALRIGHT ALREADY!!!!!" he shouted throwing the covers off cursing the person who had interrupted his most favorite dream.
"All right now what's the big idea of waking us all up…Hermione! What's wrong?"
"Did Ron come in last night?"
"Err---that is----well…."
"Oh Harry we HAVE to go McGonagall."
Nodding, in agreement the two parted ways to get dressed. A few moments later Harry skipped down the steps (Hermione took longer, I mean come on she IS a girl) and Harry entered the common to find a sleeping Ginny sprawled out on the chair. Walking over to her, he leaned over the sleeping beauty (AWE Bwain!!! This is supposed to be a comedy! Not a sappy Fluff story!!! Yeah yeah, just a minute)
"Ginny, Ginny?" he said softly shaking her shoulder.
"Hmm…Ron? Is that you?"
:"No Ginny its Harry, Ron---didn't come in last night."
"Oh, Harry, now I really am scared! I waited up all night for him..!"
"Shhhh…Me and Hermione are going to McGonagall right now." He said soothingly wrapping his arm around her quaking shoulders…
Just then Ron came padding softly down from the girls dormitory stretching and contemplating breakfast… When he saw HARRY AND GINNY WRAPPED IN EACH OTHER'S ARMS ON THE COUCH!
"Harry YOU ARE A DEAD MAN!!!" he screeched and making that same flying Olympic leap headed straight for Harry's head. '**Well actually Ron he's just a boy, not really a man….But hell we can kill him anyways…Go for the jugular! Bite scratch, tear his hair out!!!**'
"AHHHHH, Ginny he's trying to rip my head off!!!!" screamed Harry trying to dismantle the orange ball of fur that was entangled in his hair.
"I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR HEAD OFF POTTER!!!' he meowed.
"What's wrong with him, Harry? Did you step on his tail?"
"NOOOO! JUST GET HIM OFF OF ME!!!"
"Okay okay, come here, god you are just like Ron…," said Ginny wiping the tears from her eyes as she untangled the still struggling Ron/cat from Harry's hair. "What are we going to call you?"
But naming the cat was the last thing on anyones's mind.
Making their way up to professor McGonagall's office was kind of like watching a funeral procession. First came Hermione followed by Harry and Ginny (standing awfully close together) and last and orange cute stripy kitty going, "Meow! Meowowow! Meeeeowwwww!!!"
##Translation##
"Guys, guys! It's me! I'm right here! **they can't hear you…** They can to! They just…don't quite understand me… **Imagine that! Don't they have cat Dictionaries? Couldn't you precious Her-mi-one figure it out!** hey, Mind just leave her out of it!!! Or I'll--- **You'll WHAT! Shut me down? You couldn't make it down the hall with out me!!** Why you little…"
Ginny turned around in between her sniffles to look at the cat who had gone from meow, to growling to…chasing his own tail?
"Harry that cat is weird."
"Tell me about it."
When they finally reached Professor McGonagall's room it was Harry who approached her.
"Uh…professor." Harry piped as the reached the office. Professor McGonagall looked up from the papers.
"Yes Mr. Potter?"
"We think Ron is missing professor," said Harry.
"What makes you think that?" said professor McGonagall.
"Well he wasn't in class yesterday and we waited for him all night and---he's just not here!"
From that moment on Hogwarts was in an up roar. Ten minutes after the funeral procession, I mean Harry, Hermione and Ginny reached professor McGonagall, Hagrid was up and ready, armed with his precious Fang, searching the Forbidden Forest for him (or rather his remains). But they come up with nothing. The school was searched, as difficult as that was considering rooms in Hogwarts come and go as they please, but still no Ron.
Harry collapsed in a heap in the common room next to a sobbing Ginny and an ashen Hermione. "This is CARZY!" he shouted. "How many places can a six foot tall red head hide!!!" But still no Ron. Of course there was no Ron. RON was the orange kitten tripping everyone's feet all day and meowing like there was no tomorrow.
"MEOW!!!!!!" he bellowed, (if orange stripy kittens CAN bellow), much to Harry's announce.
"WILL SOMBODY SHUT THAT CAT UP!!!!" Parvati yelled from the other side of the room.
"YEAH DOESN'T HE KNOW A TRAGEDY WHEN IT HAPPENS!!!" yelled Seamus looking up from Lavender's neck.
Ron was quiet. "Fine. Sit and mope all day and DON'T find me then." He mumbled ignoring Mind, who was cracking up laughing in his subconscious.
****
The next day wasn't any better. Hermione was trying not to cry and Harry was comforting Ginny (still, you would think he'd find something better to do).
"He's the best brother ever! Oh where could he be? I hope he's all right! Maybe I should go write to mum and dad. " Ginny kept wailing through the sobs.
"Shh there there Ginny I'm sure he's alright," Harry kept saying in a dreamy voice patting her head.
"Will you two be quiet. Wailing over him is-gulp-not going to bring -double gulp-him back and I'm trying to study Astronomy," sniffled Hermione as she ruined her report by smearing it with tearstains.
"Astronomy…Ast-RON-omy…Oh Harry!" Ginny wailed. But Harry didn't seem to mind, after all the more she cried the more she need someone to pat her back and her hair and brush the tears off her face…(yeah yeah we get the point, Pinky…BE QUIET BWAIN, DIS IS MY PART)
* * * *
As night came and the Gryffindors all gathered in the common room, miserable at the loss of their friend and getting rather annoyed at the CAT that kept meowing ALL DAY LONG.
"I think I know what his problem is," said Dean.
"What? Please tell me before I drown him," grumbled Harry.
'Yeah, you wish Potter. Once I get my claws-I mean hands on you---you're gonna be a dead boy who lived. First my sister (and don't think I don't know EXACTLY what all the comforting is about SIR.) and now you think your going to drown me? Well see… **Yeah Potter, we'll BOTH kill you** Did we actually agree on something? **Yeah…scarier things have happened…** Like what? Agreeing with Malfoy? **Well we did let Snape rub our tummy…** True…."
"I think we need to name him," said Dean.
"Oh, that's right! He still doesn't have a name," said Hermione gathering up Ron. "Okay, any suggestions?"
"Oh I know! I know! Lets call him Logan…or Wolverine. And we could call him Wolvie for short."
Silence.
Then came a "HUH?"
"Oh come one, don't you people read X-men?"
Hermione Parvati and Ginny all exchanged glances. "Errr----No."
"Oh wait I do!" shouted Lavender much to Seamus's surprise. "Logan is cute but Remy is just dreamy!!!"
Seamus's jaw dropped and then came the "Ahem, ahem!!!"
"But not as dreamy as you dear…" (and they start smooching and drop out of the conversation)
Dean turned away from the sickening sight and returned to the rest of the Gryffindors. "Well, it's this really cool Muggle comic, and Logan is THE COOLEST character---"
"Not as cool as Remy, " gurgled Lavender in between a smooch.
"Lav, just stick to kissing Seamus and keep out of the conversation," grumbled Dean returning his attention to the still unconvinced Gryffindors.
"Well, he's got these claws and the just pop out and make this SHINKT noise, that he's famous for and these side burns and he smokes cigars and he was in love with a redhead called Jean, but then the movie came out and all these people think he should go with this other girl called Rogue , (who was a real babe, but then they cast Anna Paquin and they screwed her up) and she used to be in love with Gambit, that's Remy, the guy Lav's in love with after Seamus, and they were like really cute together but anyways, I THINK he should go with Storm but Marvel hasn't figured that out yet and---"
Dean began to slow down…."So I thought we could name him that…"
He took a quick look at Harry's raised eyebrow. "Or not. Hehehe…wrong obsession?"
"Dean, stick to drawing," said Parviti taking the quivering Ron/cat from Hermione.
"Okay, any other suggestions?"
"We could name him, Pipistrelle," said Parviti "It's kinda cute."
"I like it better than rose petal…but don't you think that's more of a Persian cat name? I don't hink this kitten could carry it off," said Neville leaning off the floor. "Call him something short and sweet, like Fluff or Snowball or… you know Whiskers …or Muffy."
Hermione tilted her head. "Nnoo…I think he needs something a little more exotic than that."
Ginny popped up, "What about something like Ramsus or something…that's an Egyptian name that Bill told me about."
"I like Ramsus," said Harry.
Parvati snorted, "Pipistrelle is better."
"It's a bat's name."
"Says who?"
"SAYS ME."
"I still like Wolvie," muttered Dean.
"KEEP DRAWING!!" everyone shouted.
"What about Seamus," drooled Lavender.
"KEEP KISSING!!" everyone shouted.
"But-"
"I think---"
"We should---"
"EVERYBODY BE QUIET!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Hermione. And of course everyone listened because you DON'T argue with Hermione Granger when she gets THAT tone of voice.
"I think we should call him Ron."
Ron purred…"Didn't I tell you, Mind? She is a genius **Yeah whatever Lover Boy **"
Hermione continued, "I mean Ron's gone. We need to do something to remember him by. And he is orange. And he has blue eyes. And kinda Ron's smile…"
"Huh?"
"Well, you get the point. And think, Ron hates cats…and when he comes back…you guys can all tease the heck out of him."
Neville, Dean, Seamus and Harry all exchanged a glance. "Good point, we're calling him Ron."
And so the cat was named…after himself.
****************************************************************************************
Ron was bored. With half of the Gryffindors sniffling over him in the common room and the other half (which contained Hermione) in classes he had nothing to do.
'We could do some exploring…what do you think Mind? (he had taken to talking to Mind a great deal of late) **Well actually that's not a bad idea…Let's GO!**'
So off they, that is HE, traipsed, all four paws padding softly down the stone passages.
"**Um, Ron, where are we going?** Oh I don't know…just lets go have some fun. Oh I know! Snape's Dungeon! He doesn't have class now! **Great! Maybe we can get another tummy rub!**"
Fifteen minutes later they arrived (it took a little longer on all fours and Ron had to stop and lick his fur some on the way).
Snape looked grizzly, gruff, greasy, pale, sickly, mean and generally Snapish. But when he saw Ron/cat at the door an amazing thing happened. PROFESSOR SNAPE SMILED. (I'm not kidding.) well okay Snape smiles all the time but usually because he's fantasizing the death of various Gryffindors, but now he actually look happy. Weird…
"Why Ronniekins! You came for a visit! Well come on and see what Uncle Snapey is fixing up."
Snape picked up Ron a.k.a. Cat a.k.a. Ronniekins and took him over to a boiling kettle of something blue and bubbly.
"This a is called Wartswaggeringsnuff. It's a very very deadly potion my wittle kitty witty Ronniekins but don't worry I don't use on wittle orangy kitties. Now maybe on that miserable red head in my class that's disappeared….Well any ways what it does basically is: Freezes your tongue, makes your face break out in warts, your toes turn blue, your eyes turn black and your nose fall off…"
"Mind, are you thinking what I'm thinking? **Hm…Malfoy?** (In unison) PERFECT"
But their scheming was stopped by a halted by Snape tickling them, I mean Ron, on the tummy.
"Oh purr purrrrr purrrrrrrr…."
Snape pushed his grizzly greasy, black hair out of his face. "Let's check out all my ingredients! Here's Lillyspice, that has Veela powers for love potions…
"**Hermione, I suppose?** Mind, do you have to ask?"
"And this is Nightshade, that's poisonous…"
"We'll add that to the Wartswaggeringsnuff for Malfoy, **You got it!**"
"And this is called Loverleave, which is makes two people in love hate each other."
"Harry! **Are you sure? Maybe we should do it Lavender and Seamus, their getting kind of disgusting** Mind, where are your priorities? WE HAVE TO SAVE GINNY!! **But, Ron, Those two are gross! I say Seamus** Harry! **Seamus!** Harry! **Seamus!** Harr-"
"Ronniekins? What's wrong? Why in the name of Merlin are you growling at your tail?"
Ron snapped out of his argument and purred obligingly. He would deal with Mind later.
Snape settled down behind his desk putting Ron on the desk. "You see, Ronniekins, my life is miserable. No one likes me. No appreciates my work. No one thinks I'm handsome. They all drool over that twit Lockhart. I'm planning on accidentally spiking his wine with Hairfuzzballaire. Make all that weedy hair of his shed like a dog! Hehehe!! Ahem. Anyways, I'm in love. Didn't you know?"
"Can people like Snape fall in love, Mind? **Shh---don't interrupt him, we're getting to the good part."
"…Yes I'min love with-with-with…"
"ALRIGHT ALREADY!!! JUST SAY IT!!!!"
"Kitty witty is something wrong?"
"**You idiot! Now he'll never tell!*** Shut up!, Mind."
"I'm in love with Minerva. She beautiful and smart and funny…"
"And about thirty years older than you? Are you kidding? This guy needs help **Tell me about it and did he say she was funny? Riigghhhttt…that must be when that split personality of hers takes over.** You know, Mind, I don't believe in split personalities…people talking to themselves like they've got other people in their minds? **You're right Ron, completely ridiculous.**"
Just then the bell rang. Snape stopped petting Ron and looked at his time-table. "Oh dear, Ronniekins, I have a class now. I must get you out of here before any of my student show up."
Ron meowed in agreement and jumped off the desk. Besides he had all the information he needed. Just as soon as he could get Malfoy with that Wartswaggeringsnuff…
Ron went tripping down the halls again. It was blissfully free being a cat--- no inhibitions, no worries, no enemies…
"Just where do you think your going, peck?"
Ron turned around slowly. And saw….
And we leave you with a hanger cliff. 'Cliff hanger, Bwain.' That's what I said Pink. 'Um it says Hanger cliff… BASH!! I mean-- Cliffhanger cliffhanger."
Who is the mysterous stranger threatening our poor Ronniekins? Is Ron schizophrenic? Or does he just have a split personality? Is there hope for Snape and McGonagall? Is Harry going to finally get Ginny? Or will Ron kill him first? These and other question to be found out in next weeks episode…
They're Pinky, they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain Brain Brain Brain….
Thanks for all those who suggested names for Our kitten. We liked Ramsus and Pipistrelle best. We'll type more soon!