AUTHOR'S NOTE: None of the characters are mine... well, except the doctors, but they don't really have any character developement, so you can use them if you want. All other characters belong to Marvel and KidsWB and all those other fantastic people. I'm not in the best or most creative of moods right now, and this is NOT the best time of the month, so my A/N is very boring. Um... MAJOR angst warning. Rated PG13 for language and some sensitive subject matter. This story's sad, and it's my first finished chapter fic, and the first chapter fic I've ever worked on that doesn't star original characters. Aren't I great? Comments can be sent to gypsyj14@hotmail.com. I'm trying to get revenge on a friend right now, so PLEASE flame a LOT and send them to gypsygal14@yahoo.com. Thanx, enjoy the story, and tell me if it sucks too badly!

PART ONE

Two Down, a Hundred to Go

Scott looked up as someone knocked on his door. "Come in," he called, welcoming the momentary homework break. "Oh, hey, Kitty. How's your shoulder feeling?" Kitty adjusted the ice pack on her Danger Room injury and winced slightly.

"Do you, like, have any aspirin?" she asked, choosing to ignore Scott's inquery and get straight to the point. "We're, like, all out in the Girls' bathroom."

"Kurt took our bottle, said he had a headache." Kitty nodded.

"'Kay, I'll go ask him, then." She turned and headed down the hall to Kurt's room.


**********

Kurt sat on his bed, legs curled up against his chest, listening to his Goo Goo Dolls cd. He sighed. He hated this. He hated the way he couldn't go out in public without that stupid image inducer. He hated the way his grades were slipping farther and farther into oblivion due to lack of concentration. He hated the way he knew pretty much nothing about his family or real past. And most of all, he hated the way Kitty acted around him.

The problem wasn't being "just a friend", or having her freak whenever he tried to flirt with her. No, the problem was not knowing exactly what he was to her. Sometimes she got creeped out, sometimes she got angry, sometimes she was nice, sometimes she hugged him. It was like he was part friend, part monster, part obnoxious little brother, and it bothered him. A lot.

He rolled over and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror across the room. He scowled at his own reflection. It ticked him off that he looked the way he did. People were constantly complaining that they were too fat or skinny or short or blonde, and they really had no idea what a gift it is to just look normal. Kurt wasn't asking to be a sixteen-year-old Ryan Phillipe or anything, he just didn't want to have to wear that goddamned watch all the time.

Kurt hated his looks.

He hated school.

He hated his past.

He hated his stupid watch.

He hated his life.

He hated himself.

Kurt picked up the bottle of aspirin just as the song "Iris" came on. He swallowed two pills and took a sip of water with them. //Two down, a hundred to go//, he thought morbidly. The music played quietly through the speakers on his stereo, and Kurt nearly cried the song described him so well.

"And I'd give up forever to touch you, 'cause I know that you feel me somehow." Kurt swallowed two more pills and another sip of water. He half expected to see his life flashing before his eyes, but he then decided that that would be too cliched.

"You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, and I don't wanna go home right now." Two more pills. He thought about Kitty every time he heard that line. God, if she only knew, if she could only feel the same.

"And all I can taste is this moment, and all I can breathe is your life." Two more. He could feel the small, white caplets slide down his throat. He imagined that he could feel them burning away his insides.

"'Cause sooner or later it's over, I just don't wanna miss you tonight." Two more. Kurt smiled slightly. He'd taken, what, ten pills so far? He was going to die. He wouldn't have to deal with this bullshit some people might call a life anymore.

"And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am."

Kurt continued swallowing pills with every line until the song was over and the bottle was empty. He didn't know exactly how many he'd taken, but he knew it was at least thirty, and he figured that was enough. Feeling suddenly tired, he laid down on his bed and drifted off to sleep just as he heard a knock on his door.