I remember the day when Jace changed. She came back from an early morning training session with needle marks in her neck and arms. She knew who we were, but not our relationship because it had finally happened, one of us had been reprogrammed.
Jace had been one of my closest friends, the rock I had clung onto for three years while I was going through hell dealing with being locked up.
Logan, Cindy, Zack, Brinn…none of them were as trustworthy as Jace was. That's what hit me hard, that she was not there anymore…she was a shadow of her former self. And it scared me. Manticore had reduced her to a shell, an obedient puppy with no real mind of her own.
So I sat alone for most of my time after that. Trying to fight an invisible enemy…as elusive as a ghost. Manticore wasn't just a building now it was a person, someone who could come and take you in the night, without reason or motive. But Zack and Logan didn't allow Jace's turn to break up the relationship we held together. So we kept our group together, while Cindy and Brinn went off and did their own thing. Sure they still cared for Jace, but they realised it was too late for her…and maybe for us too.
Five years later and I still dream of the night Jace broke out of the window in our room, which has been covered over since then. All five of us woke up, but everyone else just turned over and listened to the noise of dogs running after her and the frantic shouts of soldiers. I however, I stood at the hole and watched as Jace ran into Manticore forest without looking back. She had snapped, but I knew that this was just the real Jace revealing herself after too long. I looked up at the sky, and saw birds hovering, flying free. The same birds haunt my nightmares, so I try not to sleep much anymore. I lay awake most nights, listening for the ghosts that walk up and down Manticore, imagining that one of them is the old Jace, looking for us once again…
Being the youngest I find it difficult to tell my older brothers and sisters how I feel, because they usually dismiss it as 'their younger brother being stupid again.' So I keep to myself, during training and free time. I know that they care, but over the years they've hardened and tried to shut out the emotions they feel. A wise move maybe, but it does make things harder for us to communicate, which isn't a good thing.
Now I'm fifteen, Logan, the oldest, has now gone just sixteen. He's still a strong leader, but recently Zack has been taking charge of things. Logan's sat alone most nights, staring to space. I think that he's been planning something, something he won't tell us. Occasionally he would gather the four of us in a circle and tell us a story. I would listen intently, I was interested in the outside more then anybody else and I didn't hide it.
Jace wouldn't be in our room half the time; she was taken away and trained by herself. Logan and Zack's extra sessions are now few and far between, it's like the project they were involved in was just dropped for Jace.
When I look back at the training programs I've been through, all of them were progressively harder. I haven't had a change of routine for a long time…how I've stayed sane is beyond me. Sketch likes to think that we don't get tired and bored, that we are mindless drones who follow orders. The freedom of mind we all have is something that hasn't been broken down after so long.
As we march up through the corridors of Manticore I look into the empty cell blocks and wonder if there are anymore of us in this compound. Now I think of it, why would our line be limited to only six people…it's easy to understand that we are simple tests, the first of our kind…but Sketch is waiting for something, another test maybe. What will happen then, I can't help but ask myself…I have a bad feeling that for the rest of my life I'm going to be a slave to Manticore, a soldier to fight impossible battles and to obey suicide orders. I'm disposable…another thing that scares me.
So this is where I pick up the story. Each day has melted into the next, I fear that soon it will become too much for me to handle. Talking it over with Zack helps, before it was always Jace who was there for me at times like this, when I couldn't stand Manticore and it's confinement.
Jace had been one of my closest friends, the rock I had clung onto for three years while I was going through hell dealing with being locked up.
Logan, Cindy, Zack, Brinn…none of them were as trustworthy as Jace was. That's what hit me hard, that she was not there anymore…she was a shadow of her former self. And it scared me. Manticore had reduced her to a shell, an obedient puppy with no real mind of her own.
So I sat alone for most of my time after that. Trying to fight an invisible enemy…as elusive as a ghost. Manticore wasn't just a building now it was a person, someone who could come and take you in the night, without reason or motive. But Zack and Logan didn't allow Jace's turn to break up the relationship we held together. So we kept our group together, while Cindy and Brinn went off and did their own thing. Sure they still cared for Jace, but they realised it was too late for her…and maybe for us too.
Five years later and I still dream of the night Jace broke out of the window in our room, which has been covered over since then. All five of us woke up, but everyone else just turned over and listened to the noise of dogs running after her and the frantic shouts of soldiers. I however, I stood at the hole and watched as Jace ran into Manticore forest without looking back. She had snapped, but I knew that this was just the real Jace revealing herself after too long. I looked up at the sky, and saw birds hovering, flying free. The same birds haunt my nightmares, so I try not to sleep much anymore. I lay awake most nights, listening for the ghosts that walk up and down Manticore, imagining that one of them is the old Jace, looking for us once again…
Being the youngest I find it difficult to tell my older brothers and sisters how I feel, because they usually dismiss it as 'their younger brother being stupid again.' So I keep to myself, during training and free time. I know that they care, but over the years they've hardened and tried to shut out the emotions they feel. A wise move maybe, but it does make things harder for us to communicate, which isn't a good thing.
Now I'm fifteen, Logan, the oldest, has now gone just sixteen. He's still a strong leader, but recently Zack has been taking charge of things. Logan's sat alone most nights, staring to space. I think that he's been planning something, something he won't tell us. Occasionally he would gather the four of us in a circle and tell us a story. I would listen intently, I was interested in the outside more then anybody else and I didn't hide it.
Jace wouldn't be in our room half the time; she was taken away and trained by herself. Logan and Zack's extra sessions are now few and far between, it's like the project they were involved in was just dropped for Jace.
When I look back at the training programs I've been through, all of them were progressively harder. I haven't had a change of routine for a long time…how I've stayed sane is beyond me. Sketch likes to think that we don't get tired and bored, that we are mindless drones who follow orders. The freedom of mind we all have is something that hasn't been broken down after so long.
As we march up through the corridors of Manticore I look into the empty cell blocks and wonder if there are anymore of us in this compound. Now I think of it, why would our line be limited to only six people…it's easy to understand that we are simple tests, the first of our kind…but Sketch is waiting for something, another test maybe. What will happen then, I can't help but ask myself…I have a bad feeling that for the rest of my life I'm going to be a slave to Manticore, a soldier to fight impossible battles and to obey suicide orders. I'm disposable…another thing that scares me.
So this is where I pick up the story. Each day has melted into the next, I fear that soon it will become too much for me to handle. Talking it over with Zack helps, before it was always Jace who was there for me at times like this, when I couldn't stand Manticore and it's confinement.