Disclaimer: Not mine. Never were. Will certainly never be. I can't believe that somebody who
invented such a wonderful characters would sue me for playing with them a little. I promise to
return them at the end of the story (I was going to say unscratched, but that would be a huge
lie…)
A/N: this chapter is the direct result of the axiom "the number of reviews is directly proportional
to the writer's speed". Many have complained that I write too slow and a few seemed to wonder
about Harry's role in the Order, so I put this together with those two things in mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix
Chapter IV: Questions
Harry obediently followed behind Professor Dumbledore to his office. Without saying a word
the headmaster motioned for him to take a seat and sat himself in front of his big oak table.
"I am beginning to think I made a huge mistake in handling it the way I did." Dumbledore
appeared to be talking more to himself than to Harry. He started to go through the mountain of
papers lying on his desk with an expression of somebody whose mind was indeed very far from
the task his body was doing. Than he turned to address Harry.
"No sense in sitting here doing nothing but waiting. There are lots of things a headmaster must
take care of. Would you be so kind as to help me with those admittance letters?" Harry extended
his hand dutifully and took a couple of paper rolls that laid on the table. It was the last thing he would imagine himself doing just a minute ago. But than, a minute ago Dumbledore's negative to stand in the head of the Order seemed only a threat or a complex joke, and now it seemed serious. Too serious and, worst of all, pointless. He didn't understand Dumbledore's intentions, and by the looks of it, nobody else did.
Harry opened one of the rolls. It was a letter, very similar to the one he himself received five years
ago and that completely changed his life. The name and address was in white.
"We will need about forty of that. If you could copy them and give me one by one?"
Dumbledore held up another piece of parchment with the names of future students on it. Under
the first list there was another one, with only a couple of names. It held the title "Vacancies". All
the names Harry recognized on it belonged to members of the Slytherin House. Three were
students older than him; they would be doing their seventh year. Under each name was a note
saying that the student won't be attending Hogwarts anymore. There was another Slytherin boy,
a third-classer named Logan whom Harry had seen a couple of times hanging around Malfoy and
worshiping him and his cronies. The note under his name said: "transferred to Durmstrang
Academy".
"It won't do him any good, now that Karkaroff is on the run", Harry thought with a prickle of
malice. "Durmstrang isn't likely to get itself another Death Eater for headmaster anytime soon."
Or at least he hoped so.
Whether Dumbledore noticed Harry's gathering at the papers or not, he didn't make any
comment. He took one of the prepared rolls, touched the first name on the newcomers list with
his wand and transferred it onto the letter, muttering something Harry didn't understand. The
name wrote itself on the paper in big, accurate letters, and the address followed automatically.
Dumbledore put his signature at the bottom and extended his arm in expectance.
"A doubling spell will do it, Harry." Harry had never done
Multiplying Spells before; they certainly weren't on the school program of the first four courses.
He had seen Hermione do it many times to organize her notes or write essays and he knew it
took her some time to master it completely. Her first works looked like something Crookshanks
had tried to swallow and spitted afterwards. He hesitated only a moment. Without giving himself time to think better and come up with an excuse Harry pointed his wand at the piece of parchment and said "Duate".
Much to his relieve the result of his first experiment with Multiplying didn't contain one single
mistake, and the new letter was written on paper as white as the original.
Dumbledore accepted this newly created roll with a little smile and went on transferring the
names of the future students on the letters. Harry continued to provide new rolls, daring to
perform a "Tetrate" and "Pentate" spells at the end. His mind, however, was in quite a different
place, and he was sure that Dumbledore too was waiting impatiently for the outcome of the
meeting.
Finally all the names on the list were transferred to the letters and Dumbledore signed the last of
them. No more excuses were left to avoid the topic that worried both of them. Harry's face must
have shown exactly how he felt, because Dumbledore put his quill apart and smiled at him
without any hint of happiness.
"You too are questioning my common sense, aren't you, Harry?"
"No." Harry said answering so quickly he couldn't even pretend it wasn't a lie.
"I have had no other choice. With the years I have become the leader the wizarding world
needed to guard itself from the temptations of the power the magic offers, the wise old man who
told everyone what was right and what was wrong. And with that I have allowed myself to
become everyone's greatest weakness. It's ironic how I now must use all my influence to get rid
of it. The time spares no one. The sooner they learn to walk alone, the better."
"What if," once again Harry wasn't sure if Dumbledore was speaking to him or to himself, "what
if they can't?" He too had thought of Dumbledore when Professor McGonagall explained the
meaning of the Order of Phoenix to him. Hard as he tried, even now he couldn't imagine anyone
but the man in front of him to be able to control the spirit of all by the strength of his own.
"It will only prove how right I was in doing what I did. It's not a choice of mine, but a pressing
necessity."
In the waiting silence the sound of the secret door opening and pairs of foots stepping on the
stone stairs was clearly hearable and unnervingly foreboding. Finally Dumbledore's door opened
and a very weary and dejected looking Professor McGonagall entered the room. She didn't need
to say anything. Harry had seen the Head of Gryffindor House upset on many occasions, angry
more times he cared to remember, even deadly tired and worried at some points. But never had
he seen her so hopeless as she looked right than. And never did Dumbledore appear
more aged and tired.
"They need more time. We all need it." She said finally. "It came so unexpectedly… I know it's
a very pathetic excuse but I don't have any other."
Dumbledore only signed in response.
"I see now that should have announced it sooner. I was wrong in the form, but not in the
message. My decision is irrevocable."
"He does look very old." Harry thought with a sensation close to panic. He tried to remember
how old the headmaster was by recalling the Dumbledore's card that came with the chocolate
frogs but couldn't.
"We don't have time for modesty attacks and pretensions of democracy! You said you would
help us. At least help us to decide!"
"I could always point my finger at the one I think to be the worthiest and voice my choice,
Minerva. But what good would it make if he doesn't consider himself to be up to the challenge?
If you don't believe that you can do it you will never cast as much as a Multiplying Charm, right,
Harry?"
"Right." Harry answered, and wondered for the thousandth time how much exactly did
Dumbledore know about every person who stepped on Hogwarts grounds. Professor
McGonagall chose not to answer. She busied herself with the admittance letters, signing all of
them with a quick charm and one move of her quill.
"I'll take them to the Owlery," she offered.
"Don't bother, Minerva. We will send that."
Once again Harry was forced to follow Dumbledore. It was as if after all the events of the day
the headmaster had decided not to let him from under his vigilance unless forcibly necessary.
The few people the met going past the secret room and along the maze of empty corridors
avoided Dumbledore's gaze.
A dozen school owls greeted them with naughty pricks, clearly knowing the drill and looking
forward to some traveling after the slow summer. One by one they approached the headmaster,
took their letters and disappeared in the night. Harry leaned against the open window and
watched them fly over the lake that laid directly under the tower and disappear in the direction of
the Forbidden Forest.
Suddenly a movement and a couple of words from the direction of the lake caught his attention.
Two figures were staying there talking quietly, but the nightly breeze carried their words clearly
in the stillness of the night. Harry recognized the voices at once. One belonged to Remus Lupin,
the other to his godfather.
"I am not coming with you. A couple of days and I would miss the ceremony altogether."
The silver moon was shining high above the lake. It couldn't be more than two or three days
before it was full.
"You don't have any more Wolfsbane?"
"No. I would prefer thinking that Snape simply forgot about it in the middle in all the commotion
to knowing that he still hates me strong enough to ignore a college's polite request."
"Damn! Maybe if I had kept quiet…I forgot that he was also there, admiring the handiwork of his senior
Slytherins. Did you bite him too?"
Harry didn't feel like shouting in the middle of the night, so he waived his hand trying to attract
attention. His shadow had to be clearly visible against the bright window, but none of the two
were looking in his direction.
"It wasn't funny! You almost gave me a heart attack back there! What the hell did you think you
were doing?"
"Come on, Moony," came the lazy answer, "there is not enough excitement in your life."
"I have all the excitement I need. Once a month, twelve times a year! Thank you very much for
asking before opening your mouth." Lupin didn't sound as upset as his words implied.
"Your condition has nothing to do with your integrity, but they had to make a question of
principle out of it. When people start acting like idiots no reasoning will ever convince them.
What they need is a good distraction. And distractions are one thing I was always good in."
"No, that was Peter. Nobody could ever backfire the wand as credible as he did." Lupin's voice
suddenly sounded detached, stating an objective fact without showing any emotion. When Sirius
spoke again, his tone too had changed completely.
"I can't believe we have been joking around and laughing today, when Voldemort is there,
striking again, and James is dead and Peter…"
"You know what I can't believe?" Lupin interrupted impatiently. "That we spent fourteen years
without a good laugh. Come on, Padfoot! It's your job to come up with the joke to brighten up
everyone's day, not mine."
"In case you didn't notice, nothing good had happened lately." Sirius returned bitterly. "I am not
saying I don't understand Dumbledore's reasons, but why precisely now? We were about to
archive something!"
"Had it ever occurred to you that Dumbledore isn't omnipotent and all-knowing?"
"Every time I transform." Harry thought he could hear the grin spreading on Sirius' face.
"And that he isn't immortal?" The grin was instantly gone.
There was no argument against that. Harry watched the shadow of his godfather take a stone
from the ground and send it spinning over the surface of the lake. It jumped twice, leaving
behind sets of circles on the black water. Than, remembering something, Sirius took another
stone from the pocket of his jeans. Moon reflexes jumped over the surface of the Portkey.
"You still have it?" asked Lupin.
"It should belong to the one who makes the Enchantment. It's the key to his training, the door to
access the book and the spells. In absence of such I've got to have it a little longer." He hung it
around his neck and stuck the medallion under his shirt. "It's got to be the only good thing about
today. Nor that I wouldn't gladly pass it to somebody who can give it a better use."
"You yourself can give it a better use."
"Me?" Sirius' laugh was so amused it sounded almost insincere. "Fudge will be very happy
to know that the fugitive murderer everyone is looking after is making Phoenix Enchantments
right under Ministry' nose."
"And since when do you care about Fudge and the Ministry?"
Harry was still staying quiet, feeling a little guilty for spying on about the only people he trusted
fully but not able to do anything else. Only now he noticed that Dumbledore too had come closer
to the window and was also listening for the conversation. At that moment he would have given a
lot to know what the headmaster was thinking. It seemed completely impossible that all of the
events of that day weren't completely under his control, a part of a bigger plan with solutions for
every occasion. But as Moony has just put in, Dumbledore wasn't omnipotent, and the sad
expression that crossed his face at Sirius' next words only confirmed Harry's fears.
"OK, it's a lame excuse. I just plain don't want to have anything to do with this whole thing."
Whatever Lupin answered it was too low for Harry to hear.
"You know me, Moony," Sirius continued almost pleadingly. "I'd do anything I can to fight
Voldemort, anything at all, but not this. The Phoenix Enchantment is like… Like being in
Azkaban and having the Fidelius Charm replay over and over. I wouldn't even be here, but
Dumbledore asked and I have yet to find someone who can say no to Dumbledore. Specially
after he gave me the Portkey."
"It's Snape, isn't it? You didn't by any chance believe anything he said about…"
"But he is right." Sirius said slowly. "I let down Lily and James, and that night in the tunnel I let
you down as well. The fact that I didn't mean to is no excuse. Snape may be a bastard but he's
not stupid, not even I ever said that of him."
"So you are going to keep away from the Order. Do you want to keep away from Harry as well
just to avoid letting him down? Sorry to tell you that, but you are choosing the easy way out,
that's what all this talk is about."
"I can't, Moony, believe me. I just can't."
The door to the Owlery opened and closed, announcing Dumbledore's departure.
This time he did not make any sign for Harry to follow.
"In that case we both have good excuses not to take part is this. Werewolves and Phoenixes
don't mix very well and you… can't either. The only thing we can do is to follow whoever we
must and pray it's not Snape." Lupin didn't make any effort to pretend to sound convinced.
Sirius busied himself picking up another stone and sending into the water.
"Than why do I feel like I let Dumbledore down?" He asked quietly.
Harry had have enough of this involuntary eavesdropping. He already turned to leave behind Dumbledore when an unexpected question reached his ears.
"What connection does Harry have to the Order?" Sirius blurted out, completely changing the
topic of conversation.
"Harry?"
"Dumbledore wanted expressly that he was present at the ceremony. Why?"
"Because he didn't have anything else to do? Because he didn't want to let him out of sight after
what happened today? Because... I don't know, do there have to be a reason?"
"I can't imagine Dumbledore doing something without a good reason. I was just wondering…"
He stopped. Harry didn't think there was a real motive, but he was puzzled about why Sirius was both
worried and so reluctant to speak about the matter.
"Everyone knows that the healing spells usually work better when cast with a wand containing a
unicorn hear, simply because the nature of the magic it carries comes to unison with the spell."
Sirius started vaguely. "Is it possible that the Phoenix Enchantment would work better if cast
with a wand containing a phoenix feather?"
"What?!" Lupin succeeded in expressing all Harry's thoughts in one exclamation. He took one
step from the window. All of a sudden he didn't want to be found listening to the conversation.
The blood was pulsing feverishly in his temples. He looked around, but quickly remembered that
Dumbledore was already gone.
"Nothing, just thinking."
"Try thinking a bit less and, for Merlin's sake, don't go around giving Harry any ideas."
Harry wasn't listening anymore. He run all the way back from the Owlery to the gargoyle at the entrance of Dumbledore's office and than to the Great Hall looking for the headmaster before realizing that even if he found him, he wasn't going to ask anything.
He was still in a very upset state of mind when he finally run into Sirius, who was looking for him to say
goodbye. They talked about staying in touch, about Harry having to live at Hogwarts till the end
of the summer and a little about Quidditch. Not just once did Harry mentioned the Order and
less the conversation he had just overheard. He was furious with himself. He never wanted to have
anything to hide from his godfather, and fervently wished he hadn't stuck his nose where it
didn't belong. But more that anything, he wished that Sirius were dead wrong. The problem was,
the more he thought about the matter the more undeniable facts were surfacing.
He was so lost in thoughts he didn't remember how he got to the Gryffindor Tower. The rests of
his birthday fest still laid around the common room. The windows were opened in spite of the
nightly hour and Hedwig was patiently waiting for him with a letter tied to her right leg. Another
letter was lying on the floor near the window. Harry could think of only one owl that treated the
post with so little thoughtfulness.
He went up to the empty fifth-years dorm, sat on the solitary looking bed and examined the
letters. The first one was from Hermione. She wished him happy birthday and sent him an auto-
underlining quill as a present. (Don't loose any more time searching through your whole set of books.
This Quill will find and mark all the information you need for you!). She obviously didn't
hear about the attack yet. Ron's letter, so careless delivered by Pigwidgeon was quite different. It
was only a piece of scratched parchment written in a hurry, asking al least four times what had
happened and if Harry was OK.
Harry left both letters on the bed-table and started to undress. He knew he should at least write to
Ron and reassure him of his well being, but couldn't bring himself to do it. Other things were on
his mind.
The Order of Phoenix. His wand. The Reversal Spell effect that took place when his and
Voldemort's wands connected. Fawkes, miraculously coming to save him. All that memories and
many other were swirling in his mind, refusing to come to any reasonable conclusion. There was
no way around it. As much he wanted to pretend he was a normal schoolboy, he was connected
to Voldemort in more ways he could ever imagine.
Harry folded up his clothes and left them on the table. Something fell out of the pocket of his
jeans. It was the Voluntariatum gem, the first present he received on this eventful fifteenth
birthday. Harry picked it up and hid it in the depth of his coffer. Now that he wasn't going to see
the Dursleys for another whole year he doubted very much he would be using it any time soon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More A/N: I really hope you liked it, because I changed it a little according to the reviews I got.
Anyway, this was fast but I normally write quite slowly. The exams are coming and since
creative HP writing isn't one of my subjects I will do the best I can, but can't promise anything.
Just bear with me, OK?
Huge thanks to all who gave ideas about Sirius' wand. I didn't use that yet but I will.
In the nest chapter: the school starts and some changes are made. Ten Galleons to the one who
guesses who the new DADA teacher will be!
I have put a spell on this page so that you can't get out without writing a review!
OK, it'a a lie but since you put up with my writing so long you could at least tell me why you did it!
invented such a wonderful characters would sue me for playing with them a little. I promise to
return them at the end of the story (I was going to say unscratched, but that would be a huge
lie…)
A/N: this chapter is the direct result of the axiom "the number of reviews is directly proportional
to the writer's speed". Many have complained that I write too slow and a few seemed to wonder
about Harry's role in the Order, so I put this together with those two things in mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix
Chapter IV: Questions
Harry obediently followed behind Professor Dumbledore to his office. Without saying a word
the headmaster motioned for him to take a seat and sat himself in front of his big oak table.
"I am beginning to think I made a huge mistake in handling it the way I did." Dumbledore
appeared to be talking more to himself than to Harry. He started to go through the mountain of
papers lying on his desk with an expression of somebody whose mind was indeed very far from
the task his body was doing. Than he turned to address Harry.
"No sense in sitting here doing nothing but waiting. There are lots of things a headmaster must
take care of. Would you be so kind as to help me with those admittance letters?" Harry extended
his hand dutifully and took a couple of paper rolls that laid on the table. It was the last thing he would imagine himself doing just a minute ago. But than, a minute ago Dumbledore's negative to stand in the head of the Order seemed only a threat or a complex joke, and now it seemed serious. Too serious and, worst of all, pointless. He didn't understand Dumbledore's intentions, and by the looks of it, nobody else did.
Harry opened one of the rolls. It was a letter, very similar to the one he himself received five years
ago and that completely changed his life. The name and address was in white.
"We will need about forty of that. If you could copy them and give me one by one?"
Dumbledore held up another piece of parchment with the names of future students on it. Under
the first list there was another one, with only a couple of names. It held the title "Vacancies". All
the names Harry recognized on it belonged to members of the Slytherin House. Three were
students older than him; they would be doing their seventh year. Under each name was a note
saying that the student won't be attending Hogwarts anymore. There was another Slytherin boy,
a third-classer named Logan whom Harry had seen a couple of times hanging around Malfoy and
worshiping him and his cronies. The note under his name said: "transferred to Durmstrang
Academy".
"It won't do him any good, now that Karkaroff is on the run", Harry thought with a prickle of
malice. "Durmstrang isn't likely to get itself another Death Eater for headmaster anytime soon."
Or at least he hoped so.
Whether Dumbledore noticed Harry's gathering at the papers or not, he didn't make any
comment. He took one of the prepared rolls, touched the first name on the newcomers list with
his wand and transferred it onto the letter, muttering something Harry didn't understand. The
name wrote itself on the paper in big, accurate letters, and the address followed automatically.
Dumbledore put his signature at the bottom and extended his arm in expectance.
"A doubling spell will do it, Harry." Harry had never done
Multiplying Spells before; they certainly weren't on the school program of the first four courses.
He had seen Hermione do it many times to organize her notes or write essays and he knew it
took her some time to master it completely. Her first works looked like something Crookshanks
had tried to swallow and spitted afterwards. He hesitated only a moment. Without giving himself time to think better and come up with an excuse Harry pointed his wand at the piece of parchment and said "Duate".
Much to his relieve the result of his first experiment with Multiplying didn't contain one single
mistake, and the new letter was written on paper as white as the original.
Dumbledore accepted this newly created roll with a little smile and went on transferring the
names of the future students on the letters. Harry continued to provide new rolls, daring to
perform a "Tetrate" and "Pentate" spells at the end. His mind, however, was in quite a different
place, and he was sure that Dumbledore too was waiting impatiently for the outcome of the
meeting.
Finally all the names on the list were transferred to the letters and Dumbledore signed the last of
them. No more excuses were left to avoid the topic that worried both of them. Harry's face must
have shown exactly how he felt, because Dumbledore put his quill apart and smiled at him
without any hint of happiness.
"You too are questioning my common sense, aren't you, Harry?"
"No." Harry said answering so quickly he couldn't even pretend it wasn't a lie.
"I have had no other choice. With the years I have become the leader the wizarding world
needed to guard itself from the temptations of the power the magic offers, the wise old man who
told everyone what was right and what was wrong. And with that I have allowed myself to
become everyone's greatest weakness. It's ironic how I now must use all my influence to get rid
of it. The time spares no one. The sooner they learn to walk alone, the better."
"What if," once again Harry wasn't sure if Dumbledore was speaking to him or to himself, "what
if they can't?" He too had thought of Dumbledore when Professor McGonagall explained the
meaning of the Order of Phoenix to him. Hard as he tried, even now he couldn't imagine anyone
but the man in front of him to be able to control the spirit of all by the strength of his own.
"It will only prove how right I was in doing what I did. It's not a choice of mine, but a pressing
necessity."
In the waiting silence the sound of the secret door opening and pairs of foots stepping on the
stone stairs was clearly hearable and unnervingly foreboding. Finally Dumbledore's door opened
and a very weary and dejected looking Professor McGonagall entered the room. She didn't need
to say anything. Harry had seen the Head of Gryffindor House upset on many occasions, angry
more times he cared to remember, even deadly tired and worried at some points. But never had
he seen her so hopeless as she looked right than. And never did Dumbledore appear
more aged and tired.
"They need more time. We all need it." She said finally. "It came so unexpectedly… I know it's
a very pathetic excuse but I don't have any other."
Dumbledore only signed in response.
"I see now that should have announced it sooner. I was wrong in the form, but not in the
message. My decision is irrevocable."
"He does look very old." Harry thought with a sensation close to panic. He tried to remember
how old the headmaster was by recalling the Dumbledore's card that came with the chocolate
frogs but couldn't.
"We don't have time for modesty attacks and pretensions of democracy! You said you would
help us. At least help us to decide!"
"I could always point my finger at the one I think to be the worthiest and voice my choice,
Minerva. But what good would it make if he doesn't consider himself to be up to the challenge?
If you don't believe that you can do it you will never cast as much as a Multiplying Charm, right,
Harry?"
"Right." Harry answered, and wondered for the thousandth time how much exactly did
Dumbledore know about every person who stepped on Hogwarts grounds. Professor
McGonagall chose not to answer. She busied herself with the admittance letters, signing all of
them with a quick charm and one move of her quill.
"I'll take them to the Owlery," she offered.
"Don't bother, Minerva. We will send that."
Once again Harry was forced to follow Dumbledore. It was as if after all the events of the day
the headmaster had decided not to let him from under his vigilance unless forcibly necessary.
The few people the met going past the secret room and along the maze of empty corridors
avoided Dumbledore's gaze.
A dozen school owls greeted them with naughty pricks, clearly knowing the drill and looking
forward to some traveling after the slow summer. One by one they approached the headmaster,
took their letters and disappeared in the night. Harry leaned against the open window and
watched them fly over the lake that laid directly under the tower and disappear in the direction of
the Forbidden Forest.
Suddenly a movement and a couple of words from the direction of the lake caught his attention.
Two figures were staying there talking quietly, but the nightly breeze carried their words clearly
in the stillness of the night. Harry recognized the voices at once. One belonged to Remus Lupin,
the other to his godfather.
"I am not coming with you. A couple of days and I would miss the ceremony altogether."
The silver moon was shining high above the lake. It couldn't be more than two or three days
before it was full.
"You don't have any more Wolfsbane?"
"No. I would prefer thinking that Snape simply forgot about it in the middle in all the commotion
to knowing that he still hates me strong enough to ignore a college's polite request."
"Damn! Maybe if I had kept quiet…I forgot that he was also there, admiring the handiwork of his senior
Slytherins. Did you bite him too?"
Harry didn't feel like shouting in the middle of the night, so he waived his hand trying to attract
attention. His shadow had to be clearly visible against the bright window, but none of the two
were looking in his direction.
"It wasn't funny! You almost gave me a heart attack back there! What the hell did you think you
were doing?"
"Come on, Moony," came the lazy answer, "there is not enough excitement in your life."
"I have all the excitement I need. Once a month, twelve times a year! Thank you very much for
asking before opening your mouth." Lupin didn't sound as upset as his words implied.
"Your condition has nothing to do with your integrity, but they had to make a question of
principle out of it. When people start acting like idiots no reasoning will ever convince them.
What they need is a good distraction. And distractions are one thing I was always good in."
"No, that was Peter. Nobody could ever backfire the wand as credible as he did." Lupin's voice
suddenly sounded detached, stating an objective fact without showing any emotion. When Sirius
spoke again, his tone too had changed completely.
"I can't believe we have been joking around and laughing today, when Voldemort is there,
striking again, and James is dead and Peter…"
"You know what I can't believe?" Lupin interrupted impatiently. "That we spent fourteen years
without a good laugh. Come on, Padfoot! It's your job to come up with the joke to brighten up
everyone's day, not mine."
"In case you didn't notice, nothing good had happened lately." Sirius returned bitterly. "I am not
saying I don't understand Dumbledore's reasons, but why precisely now? We were about to
archive something!"
"Had it ever occurred to you that Dumbledore isn't omnipotent and all-knowing?"
"Every time I transform." Harry thought he could hear the grin spreading on Sirius' face.
"And that he isn't immortal?" The grin was instantly gone.
There was no argument against that. Harry watched the shadow of his godfather take a stone
from the ground and send it spinning over the surface of the lake. It jumped twice, leaving
behind sets of circles on the black water. Than, remembering something, Sirius took another
stone from the pocket of his jeans. Moon reflexes jumped over the surface of the Portkey.
"You still have it?" asked Lupin.
"It should belong to the one who makes the Enchantment. It's the key to his training, the door to
access the book and the spells. In absence of such I've got to have it a little longer." He hung it
around his neck and stuck the medallion under his shirt. "It's got to be the only good thing about
today. Nor that I wouldn't gladly pass it to somebody who can give it a better use."
"You yourself can give it a better use."
"Me?" Sirius' laugh was so amused it sounded almost insincere. "Fudge will be very happy
to know that the fugitive murderer everyone is looking after is making Phoenix Enchantments
right under Ministry' nose."
"And since when do you care about Fudge and the Ministry?"
Harry was still staying quiet, feeling a little guilty for spying on about the only people he trusted
fully but not able to do anything else. Only now he noticed that Dumbledore too had come closer
to the window and was also listening for the conversation. At that moment he would have given a
lot to know what the headmaster was thinking. It seemed completely impossible that all of the
events of that day weren't completely under his control, a part of a bigger plan with solutions for
every occasion. But as Moony has just put in, Dumbledore wasn't omnipotent, and the sad
expression that crossed his face at Sirius' next words only confirmed Harry's fears.
"OK, it's a lame excuse. I just plain don't want to have anything to do with this whole thing."
Whatever Lupin answered it was too low for Harry to hear.
"You know me, Moony," Sirius continued almost pleadingly. "I'd do anything I can to fight
Voldemort, anything at all, but not this. The Phoenix Enchantment is like… Like being in
Azkaban and having the Fidelius Charm replay over and over. I wouldn't even be here, but
Dumbledore asked and I have yet to find someone who can say no to Dumbledore. Specially
after he gave me the Portkey."
"It's Snape, isn't it? You didn't by any chance believe anything he said about…"
"But he is right." Sirius said slowly. "I let down Lily and James, and that night in the tunnel I let
you down as well. The fact that I didn't mean to is no excuse. Snape may be a bastard but he's
not stupid, not even I ever said that of him."
"So you are going to keep away from the Order. Do you want to keep away from Harry as well
just to avoid letting him down? Sorry to tell you that, but you are choosing the easy way out,
that's what all this talk is about."
"I can't, Moony, believe me. I just can't."
The door to the Owlery opened and closed, announcing Dumbledore's departure.
This time he did not make any sign for Harry to follow.
"In that case we both have good excuses not to take part is this. Werewolves and Phoenixes
don't mix very well and you… can't either. The only thing we can do is to follow whoever we
must and pray it's not Snape." Lupin didn't make any effort to pretend to sound convinced.
Sirius busied himself picking up another stone and sending into the water.
"Than why do I feel like I let Dumbledore down?" He asked quietly.
Harry had have enough of this involuntary eavesdropping. He already turned to leave behind Dumbledore when an unexpected question reached his ears.
"What connection does Harry have to the Order?" Sirius blurted out, completely changing the
topic of conversation.
"Harry?"
"Dumbledore wanted expressly that he was present at the ceremony. Why?"
"Because he didn't have anything else to do? Because he didn't want to let him out of sight after
what happened today? Because... I don't know, do there have to be a reason?"
"I can't imagine Dumbledore doing something without a good reason. I was just wondering…"
He stopped. Harry didn't think there was a real motive, but he was puzzled about why Sirius was both
worried and so reluctant to speak about the matter.
"Everyone knows that the healing spells usually work better when cast with a wand containing a
unicorn hear, simply because the nature of the magic it carries comes to unison with the spell."
Sirius started vaguely. "Is it possible that the Phoenix Enchantment would work better if cast
with a wand containing a phoenix feather?"
"What?!" Lupin succeeded in expressing all Harry's thoughts in one exclamation. He took one
step from the window. All of a sudden he didn't want to be found listening to the conversation.
The blood was pulsing feverishly in his temples. He looked around, but quickly remembered that
Dumbledore was already gone.
"Nothing, just thinking."
"Try thinking a bit less and, for Merlin's sake, don't go around giving Harry any ideas."
Harry wasn't listening anymore. He run all the way back from the Owlery to the gargoyle at the entrance of Dumbledore's office and than to the Great Hall looking for the headmaster before realizing that even if he found him, he wasn't going to ask anything.
He was still in a very upset state of mind when he finally run into Sirius, who was looking for him to say
goodbye. They talked about staying in touch, about Harry having to live at Hogwarts till the end
of the summer and a little about Quidditch. Not just once did Harry mentioned the Order and
less the conversation he had just overheard. He was furious with himself. He never wanted to have
anything to hide from his godfather, and fervently wished he hadn't stuck his nose where it
didn't belong. But more that anything, he wished that Sirius were dead wrong. The problem was,
the more he thought about the matter the more undeniable facts were surfacing.
He was so lost in thoughts he didn't remember how he got to the Gryffindor Tower. The rests of
his birthday fest still laid around the common room. The windows were opened in spite of the
nightly hour and Hedwig was patiently waiting for him with a letter tied to her right leg. Another
letter was lying on the floor near the window. Harry could think of only one owl that treated the
post with so little thoughtfulness.
He went up to the empty fifth-years dorm, sat on the solitary looking bed and examined the
letters. The first one was from Hermione. She wished him happy birthday and sent him an auto-
underlining quill as a present. (Don't loose any more time searching through your whole set of books.
This Quill will find and mark all the information you need for you!). She obviously didn't
hear about the attack yet. Ron's letter, so careless delivered by Pigwidgeon was quite different. It
was only a piece of scratched parchment written in a hurry, asking al least four times what had
happened and if Harry was OK.
Harry left both letters on the bed-table and started to undress. He knew he should at least write to
Ron and reassure him of his well being, but couldn't bring himself to do it. Other things were on
his mind.
The Order of Phoenix. His wand. The Reversal Spell effect that took place when his and
Voldemort's wands connected. Fawkes, miraculously coming to save him. All that memories and
many other were swirling in his mind, refusing to come to any reasonable conclusion. There was
no way around it. As much he wanted to pretend he was a normal schoolboy, he was connected
to Voldemort in more ways he could ever imagine.
Harry folded up his clothes and left them on the table. Something fell out of the pocket of his
jeans. It was the Voluntariatum gem, the first present he received on this eventful fifteenth
birthday. Harry picked it up and hid it in the depth of his coffer. Now that he wasn't going to see
the Dursleys for another whole year he doubted very much he would be using it any time soon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More A/N: I really hope you liked it, because I changed it a little according to the reviews I got.
Anyway, this was fast but I normally write quite slowly. The exams are coming and since
creative HP writing isn't one of my subjects I will do the best I can, but can't promise anything.
Just bear with me, OK?
Huge thanks to all who gave ideas about Sirius' wand. I didn't use that yet but I will.
In the nest chapter: the school starts and some changes are made. Ten Galleons to the one who
guesses who the new DADA teacher will be!
I have put a spell on this page so that you can't get out without writing a review!
OK, it'a a lie but since you put up with my writing so long you could at least tell me why you did it!