Brinn, Logan and Dennis…they were really disciplined after the fence incident…I had to get out of there too before I was caught. Cindy and I were congratulated by Sketch, but I felt so cold after leaving them there I just let the words drift into the background. I was meant to be looking after my group and I felt that I just let them down. Cindy was a different matter, what was going through her mind I didn't know.
It was always a game to the major. He truly believed in our cause, that we would revolutionise the way wars were fought. He had no doubt in his mind that what he was doing to us was right, but we all could see that he was a self-righteous son of a b***h who was twisted in ways we can't imagine. But something in me said that he couldn't be doing this alone, sure the US government were funding this program but who was running the entire op?
I worry a lot about our future; relationships are already cracking…just look at Brinn and Cindy. After Cindy abandoned Brinn outside the gate they didn't talk for days, but when Brinn finally asked Cindy why, the only thing she said was, 'I don't know, it's in my nature', cold or what?
That was five weeks ago. Time flies fast when your havin' fun, right?
From day to day I wonder why I'm still here. We've had chances to escape stare me in the face but there was a proverbial ball and chain clipped to my ankle. And that is a deep, and I thought buried, loyalty to Manticore. To my 'home' and to the six people in it, never to Sketch though. Manticore is an infestation, a tumour that has grown inside of me and won't let go. It's there to remind me of what I am and where I belong: inside these walls.
A soldier walks into our room and orders Den, Brinn and Logan out. They're going for more training I guess, and then it's just Cindy and I alone. I've tried to talk to her before but when I look at her words fail me. I hang my head and think back to when I was a child, when Logan was a true leader and so was I. We were the centre of this group and that always assured me that I was important. I was always very solemn, sometimes unwilling to socialise but I cared so deeply for my family. I still do…
The compound was more open to us then usual. As a reward for not escaping (or as a method of persuasion to stay) we could freely walk through the woods but there were now extra perimeter guards on patrol.
I walked out of my room, aware that someone was tailing me but as I stepped outside into the brisk winter air they dropped back and waited at the entrance. I hated being watched. I hated the people who witnessed this confinement we were placed in.
Walking through the slightly snow-covered grasses helped calm my disposition, and I ran my fingers through my hair as I thought deeply. The trees of Manticore forest were covered in a crisp whiteness and they all smelt beautifully fresh as I passed them. This was true peace. I tipped my head over to one side and allowed the winds to brush past my cheek. In these private moments I could truly be myself, and as I sat upon a fallen log I looked back on Manticore. Clouds were forming in the sky above…it was like light and shadow as I sat here in the pure snow and the plain walls of Manticore grew darker as I watched. My eyes then caught sight of a slender figure walking toward me...I identified her as Cindy. She was placid as a lake in the middle of a dead heat, no emotions on her face. I compared her to myself, I was always seemed angry with somebody or something, and I let emotions sometimes cloud my judgement. But I was stronger then her, not so much in the physical sense but in the mental, I've resisted Manticore's cold grip for almost seventeen years now but Cindy finally broke. But what Cindy has that I don't is a good sense of humour. She had the power to make us laugh; I just hope that she hasn't lost that talent. She was also very gentle, warm and good to talk to.
As she strolls up I stand. She looks at me in confusion, and I bow my head slightly.
"Hello mark 4"
"Knock it off Zack"
"I'm sorry, I thought that was the way you liked to be referred to nowadays"
"Look Zack. I know you hate me for what happened but you can't expect we to act the way all you do. Manticore is more then the confinement you make it out to be, it's your home and my home and it's a way of life. Freedom would be great right now but every time I step out of line one of our group gets hurt in some way. So I figure that maybe Jace's example is one to follow…"
I interrupted, I wasn't going to stand here and take this s**t.
"Oh yeah, being reprogramming and having all the individuality sucked out of you is a great way to live Cindy. Don't give me this bulls**t okay? You know how much all of us suffered after she was taken away from us, and here you are applauding Sketch and his twisted plans for a 'perfected soldier' as if he were right. You've changed, Cindy. You used to be so kind and gentle but after you left Logan, Brinn and Den behind that fence you left behind a part of yourself that you will never be able to get back. I ran away with you because of you. If we had all been reprimanded then there would be nobody left to 'suck up' to the Major. What happened Cindy? What happened to that sweet young girl who sat with Brinn and listened with bright eyes as Logan and I told stories?"
I paused and sat down again, and looked up to Cindy. Her face was a mass of sadness, anger and another unidentifiable emotion.
"I guess she died…" Cindy muttered, and she walked away.
It was always a game to the major. He truly believed in our cause, that we would revolutionise the way wars were fought. He had no doubt in his mind that what he was doing to us was right, but we all could see that he was a self-righteous son of a b***h who was twisted in ways we can't imagine. But something in me said that he couldn't be doing this alone, sure the US government were funding this program but who was running the entire op?
I worry a lot about our future; relationships are already cracking…just look at Brinn and Cindy. After Cindy abandoned Brinn outside the gate they didn't talk for days, but when Brinn finally asked Cindy why, the only thing she said was, 'I don't know, it's in my nature', cold or what?
That was five weeks ago. Time flies fast when your havin' fun, right?
From day to day I wonder why I'm still here. We've had chances to escape stare me in the face but there was a proverbial ball and chain clipped to my ankle. And that is a deep, and I thought buried, loyalty to Manticore. To my 'home' and to the six people in it, never to Sketch though. Manticore is an infestation, a tumour that has grown inside of me and won't let go. It's there to remind me of what I am and where I belong: inside these walls.
A soldier walks into our room and orders Den, Brinn and Logan out. They're going for more training I guess, and then it's just Cindy and I alone. I've tried to talk to her before but when I look at her words fail me. I hang my head and think back to when I was a child, when Logan was a true leader and so was I. We were the centre of this group and that always assured me that I was important. I was always very solemn, sometimes unwilling to socialise but I cared so deeply for my family. I still do…
The compound was more open to us then usual. As a reward for not escaping (or as a method of persuasion to stay) we could freely walk through the woods but there were now extra perimeter guards on patrol.
I walked out of my room, aware that someone was tailing me but as I stepped outside into the brisk winter air they dropped back and waited at the entrance. I hated being watched. I hated the people who witnessed this confinement we were placed in.
Walking through the slightly snow-covered grasses helped calm my disposition, and I ran my fingers through my hair as I thought deeply. The trees of Manticore forest were covered in a crisp whiteness and they all smelt beautifully fresh as I passed them. This was true peace. I tipped my head over to one side and allowed the winds to brush past my cheek. In these private moments I could truly be myself, and as I sat upon a fallen log I looked back on Manticore. Clouds were forming in the sky above…it was like light and shadow as I sat here in the pure snow and the plain walls of Manticore grew darker as I watched. My eyes then caught sight of a slender figure walking toward me...I identified her as Cindy. She was placid as a lake in the middle of a dead heat, no emotions on her face. I compared her to myself, I was always seemed angry with somebody or something, and I let emotions sometimes cloud my judgement. But I was stronger then her, not so much in the physical sense but in the mental, I've resisted Manticore's cold grip for almost seventeen years now but Cindy finally broke. But what Cindy has that I don't is a good sense of humour. She had the power to make us laugh; I just hope that she hasn't lost that talent. She was also very gentle, warm and good to talk to.
As she strolls up I stand. She looks at me in confusion, and I bow my head slightly.
"Hello mark 4"
"Knock it off Zack"
"I'm sorry, I thought that was the way you liked to be referred to nowadays"
"Look Zack. I know you hate me for what happened but you can't expect we to act the way all you do. Manticore is more then the confinement you make it out to be, it's your home and my home and it's a way of life. Freedom would be great right now but every time I step out of line one of our group gets hurt in some way. So I figure that maybe Jace's example is one to follow…"
I interrupted, I wasn't going to stand here and take this s**t.
"Oh yeah, being reprogramming and having all the individuality sucked out of you is a great way to live Cindy. Don't give me this bulls**t okay? You know how much all of us suffered after she was taken away from us, and here you are applauding Sketch and his twisted plans for a 'perfected soldier' as if he were right. You've changed, Cindy. You used to be so kind and gentle but after you left Logan, Brinn and Den behind that fence you left behind a part of yourself that you will never be able to get back. I ran away with you because of you. If we had all been reprimanded then there would be nobody left to 'suck up' to the Major. What happened Cindy? What happened to that sweet young girl who sat with Brinn and listened with bright eyes as Logan and I told stories?"
I paused and sat down again, and looked up to Cindy. Her face was a mass of sadness, anger and another unidentifiable emotion.
"I guess she died…" Cindy muttered, and she walked away.