DISCLAIMER / AUTHORS NOTE: The Matrix script does not belong to me and I am using it without permission but not for any monetary gains etc etc.
I used some extracts from the script in this chapter but if they are not entirely accurate then it's because I'm tired and my back hurts after being hunched over a computer for three hours (how computer hackers get by is beyond me) and I just wanted to get this posted.
Sorry about the moan! On with the chapter…
* * * * * * *
Working at Metacortex was dull. My life seemed to be going nowhere. Scratch that: it was going nowhere. I watched John get promoted up and up, until he had his own office and supervised half the staff. Not me though, which made me intensely glad. He would have cut me far too much slack and gotten us both fired. I was always on the verge of unemployment. Even though I had buried my family, I still couldn't sleep at night, usually falling asleep around 4 in the morning. Sometimes I overslept.
That's how I spent my days. I went to work during the day and spent my nights hacking. I soon discovered that hacking was worth serious money. People would pay me huge amounts of cash for information. Usually it was the information on their records in government databases; sometimes other people's. Other times they just wanted information on drugs or whatever and they didn't want to do the dirty work for themselves. I didn't really care what it was for. I was able to get extra cash so I didn't have to steal or copy the new software at Metacortex. The guy in the next cubicle to mine had seen me copy some of it and it was only by persuading him that I could get him his tax records changed that he kept quiet.
It was actually during changing his tax records that I first heard of The Matrix. I typed in the wrong command and ended up on some weird web page. All it said was:
This is The Matrix. Get out if you can…
Of course once you were logged on, you couldn't get out. In the end I pulled the plug out of the computer. Just before I did it another message flashed across:
Knowing the Matrix is the key to the Truth
I immediately plugged the computer back in, but I couldn't get back to it. I later learnt that it was constantly moving across the Matrix so the machines couldn't track it as easily and shut it down. It was designed to arouse the curiosity and start potentials off on their search. If you looked hard enough then you would be picked up by a ship and freed. That's how they found me
The Matrix is the key to the Truth… What truth? Suddenly, for the first time in years my life had direction. I had to find out what this Matrix was.
I spent years searching. Not just on the net, I started looking in books. I read every philosophy book I could get my hands on… Plato, Socrates, Descartes, everyone. I had gotten so desperate I even tried reading the Bible and then the Qu'ran. They were all dead ends.
And in all my searching all I found out was that The Matrix was somehow connected to someone called Morpheus. So I started looking for him. Luckily he was a lot easier to find out about.
He was a world-renowned terrorist, who had perfected the art of disappearing. It was incredible really that they couldn't find him. They had so many damn pictures of the guy… But that was all I knew. I had no idea how he was connected to The Matrix. The only way I could see of finding that out was to find him. But how do you find a disappearing terrorist?
I spent three years looking for him. I read every report on him, tracking his every move, from America to Europe and then back to America, often in a matter of days. It was incredible and I began to build some kind of admiration towards him. I was in awe.
There was one thing I began to notice in all the reports that puzzled me: they never mentioned what he had done that was so terrible. Sure, he blew up buildings, stole government equipment and sometimes killed innocent citizens caught in the cross fire but from what I could see it was no different from what any other terrorist did. So why did the police want him so badly? It just made me even more eager to meet the guy.
Three years spent looking for one man. Another year before that trying to find the Matrix. I was close to giving up. There was nothing else I could think to do.
I started downloading more headlines about Morpheus; it had become almost routine for me: get home, listen to some music, and track Morpheus. Normal. I started to doze off when I was aware that the images constantly flickering cross the screen had stopped. I looked up at the black screen
Wake up Neo.
I blinked and took off my headphones. It looked like someone was typing on my keyboard…
The Matrix has you…
"What the hell…?" I tried to delete the words but nothing happened. Someone was controlling my computer
Follow the white rabbit.
And I did. I followed a tattoo to some god-forsaken Goth club and wondered why the hell I was there. Why had I followed what a computer, a goddamn machine, had told me to do? I stood in the background, melting into the wall. Mr Nobody, that's me.
Except she didn't think so. Trinity…I felt her before I saw her. Not the way you feel someone stare at your back. I felt her as a whole looking at me. I've never felt anyone so strongly (at least not emotionally). Even when she was standing next to me and I could feel her breath on my ear I could feel her, her scent, everything so clearly. It was like she was the only real thing in that room. I listened to her as she told me exactly what I was looking for and I knew her, I had seen her somewhere before, I knew her.
The answer is out there Neo and it will find you, if you want it to.
Where had I seen her before? What did she want? Those questions followed me all the way home, into bed into my dreams, right up to when I looked at my alarm clock and realised that I was late. But they came back when I was in Rhineheart's office. I wasn't listening to what he was saying, I'd heard it all before.
Authority problem. That was my trouble. And the fact that everyone else at Metacortex acted like they were at fucking Disneyland and I couldn't see the point. What was so great about this place anyway? If you're that happy, go work at Disneyland, not a software company.
I sat at my desk, typing the same old commands over and over, my mind wondering back to the question. What is The Matrix?
"Thomas Anderson?"
I blinked, brought crushingly back to reality. "Yeah, that's me"
A Fed Ex man stood by my cubicle and smiling brightly, handed me a package. I signed and he nodded. "Have a nice day." I frowned after him. Who would send me a Fed Ex package? I opened it and a cell phone dropped into my hand. Almost immediately it started to ring. I started and then spoke into it.
"Hello…?"
"Hello Neo, do you know who this is?"
I grasped my desk. God, his voice was just like I had imagined. It could only be…
"Morpheus?
"Yes. I don't know if you're ready to see what I want to show you but unfortunately we have run out of time. They're coming for you Neo and I don't know what they're going to do."
My head was spinning. It was overloaded with too many thoughts: I'm talking to Morpheus? Shit, it's actually him! Show me what? Who? I managed to articulate this last thought.
"Stand up and see for yourself."
"Right now?"
"Yes. Do it slowly."
I slowly look over the top of my cubicle, phone pressed to my ear.
"The elevator."
I look over to see three men in brown suits and sunglasses look over at me simultaneously, as if with one mind. A memory tugs at me put it's suppressed by the sudden irrational fear that quickly consumes me. I duck, swearing and started pacing the cubicle, my back bent.
"What do they want with me?!"
"I'm not sure. But, if you don't want to find out, you better get out of there."
"How?" All my trust is in him. It's a strange thought, but I feel I can rely on him. How I worked that out from a few cryptic sentences I don't know but that's what I feel.
"I can guide you but you have to do everything I say. The cubicle across the hall from you is empty. Go to it."
"But what if -"
"Go, now!"
I dive across the hall just as footsteps round the corner. I crouch in the corner, praying to a god I didn't believe in.
"Wait here for a moment." I nod, even though he can't see me. His voice is so calm…More footsteps, moving further down the aisle.
"When I tell you, go to the end of the row, first office on the left. Stay as low as you can." I don't even try arguing now. I'm too terrified and I trust him now. God knows why but I do. I still do today.
"Now." I run out from the cubicle and nearly barrel into a cop's legs. I duck lower and start running, looking left and right expecting the men in suits to appear any second. Somehow, I get to the office and close the door, straightening with relief. I recognise for the first time that I'm covered in sweat and I'm clutching the phone so tightly it almost hurts.
"Good. Now to you're right there is a scaffold." It suddenly dawns on me that a man is guiding me through a phone.
"How do you know all this?"
"That's not important. In front of you there's a window. Open it. You can use the scaffold to get to the roof."
I jump away from the window when I realise what he's saying.
"No way. No way! This is crazy!" I want to shout but I'm still very aware of the men in suits just behind the door.
"Neo," his voice is stressed now, the first emotion I've heard him emit. "There are only two ways out of this building. One is that scaffold, the other is in their custody. You take a chance either way. I leave it to you."
Click. He hangs up and I stare at the phone for a moment, then climb up on the window. I know I'm muttering my thoughts out loud. I lean out the window and then look down at the street below. I quickly lean back inside and swear loudly. In my head I start thinking bad things about Morpheus but don't dare speak them aloud. I have a feeling that he is watching me right now, however disconcerting that thought is.
I look across at the scaffold and force myself to move quickly, out on the small ledge, around the corner until I reach a pillar and clutch at it. I look down again slowly, one foot hanging into the air. The wind is so strong it almost blows me off. I lose hold of the phone and watch it fall, probably to land on some poor sods head. I look at the scaffold. To reach it I have to somehow, pull myself round the pillar and edge to it, with no handholds. Fuck that.
As soon as I set foot in the office the door opens and two policemen walk in. They start reading out my rights and handcuff me before I have a chance to say anything. They bundle me in a car quickly and all I could think was I failed him, I failed Morpheus. My one chance to find out what The Matrix is and I get arrested instead. I vowed not to make that mistake again.
They kept me waiting in that room for nearly half an hour. I sat there and thought of all the things that could get me convicted. I gave up after about five minutes, realising the list was too depressing to think about.
Just deny it. Deny everything. They can't have any prove on your hacking, it's untraceable. Just don't panic…
That thought began to panic me, so I started to think about Morpheus and Trinity. I had a sudden blind faith that took me by surprise, that they would somehow get me out. I was going to be fine. I couldn't let them faze me. By the time the men in suits arrived I was feeling a lot calmer.
One of them sat in front of me and the other two stood either side of me. I'll admit, that did faze me but I quickly smothered it. The man seated in front opened the folder on the desk and started looking through it. The silence overwhelmed me but I stopped myself saying anything. I was not going to let them win.
"As you can see, we've had our eye on you for quite some time now Mr Anderson. It seems you've been living two lives. In one life, you are Thomas A. Anderson, program writer for a respectable software company. You have a social security number, you pay your taxes and you… help your land lady out with the garbage." He raised his eyebrows and I wonder why they're wearing sunglasses indoors.
Don't let them faze you.
He flipped a few more papers. "The other life is lived out in computers where you go by the hacker alias Neo, and our guilty for every computer crime we have a law for." How can they know so much? You can't trace a hacker… How had they found me? I shift nervously. I can't help it. There's something about these men that I can't put my finger on. Something unnatural. I realised that I was in huge trouble.
"One of these lives has a future. The other has not." He shut the folder decisively. He leaned forward and took off his glasses and stared directly at me.
"I'm going to be as forthcoming as I can be with you Mr Anderson. You're here because we need your help."
I blink with surprise. My help? That was the last thing I had expected to hear…
"We know that you have been contacted by a certain individual." Oh god no, not that.
"A man who calls himself Morpheus." Shit.
"Whatever you think you know about this man is irrelevant to the fact that he is wanted for acts of terrorism in more countries then any over man in the world. He is considered by many authorities to be the most dangerous man alive."
You can't fail him now, you can't… He tried to help you and you screwed up… Don't fail him now.
The man leaned closer, staring intently at my eyes. His voice dropped slightly as though what he was about to say was for me only. "My colleagues believe that I am wasting my time with you but I believe you wish to do the right thing." He leaned back suddenly and pushed the folder to one side.
"Now we are willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. And all we're asking in return is your co-operation in bringing a known terrorist to justice." His eyes looked away from mine and I nod, knowing exactly what I have to do.
"Well that sounds like a really good deal, but I think I got a better one. How about I give you the finger. And you give me my phone call." The man sighed slightly and put his glasses back on.
"Mr Anderson, you disappoint me."
"You can't scare me with this Gestapo crap. I know my rights. I want my phone call." I don't really know who I would call but I had a crazy idea that if I managed to get to a phone, Morpheus might be able to make contact with me. Stupid I know, but I somehow knew he was watching.
"Tell me Mr Anderson, what good is a phone call, if you are unable to talk?" I look at him incredulously. He raised his eyes slightly. Fear trills up my spine and I glance at the men either side of me. They look at me impassively as I feel something press down on my mouth.
It feels like it's melting and when I try and say something, a garbled groan comes out. I put my hand to my lips and feel nothing and I start screaming but I can only hear the groan. I jump up as the men approach me and struggle helplessly as they throw me to the table. I watch as the man who had spoken pulled out a small metal object and start to scream louder when it changes, becomes organic and starts crawling on my stomach. I try to get free but I know it's too late when the thing starts to rip itself inside me and I yell until I wake up in my bed.
I clutch my mouth and my stomach as I realise it was just a dream. It was so real… and disturbing. I had got to start getting some proper sleep. Now even my dreams were fucked up.
When the phone rang, I can't say I was exactly surprised. The dream was still large in my mind and the thought that it might be Morpheus lingered in my head. I picked it up but didn't say anything. I wasn't sure if I could trust my voice. Despite everything, I trusted the voice on the phone.
"This line is tapped, so I must be brief. They got to you first but they've underestimated how important you are. If they knew what I know, you'd be dead by now."
Great. Just what I needed to know.
"Do you still want to meet?"
He knows the answer to that. I can't turn away now… Yet I still hesitate, remembering the dream.
"…Yes."
"Then go to the Adam Street Bridge."
I dropped the phone, pulled a jacket on and started running. He didn't say what time to get there but I don't want to keep him waiting. Besides, I knew that if I stopped little niggling doubts would worm into my brain and turn me right back around to where I started.
It turned out that I was the one left waiting. The niggling doubts wormed their way into my brain and I began despairing when I realised I had gone against everything in my nature. The one rule I had made and stuck to my entire life I had totally broken.
Never trust anyone… Broken at least a hundred times in the last day. Hell, I was breaking it all the time I was standing there.
You idiot Neo. You've spent the last three years trying to find The Matrix and when you finally get a break, you want to run? Get over yourself. If you run, you'll spend the rest of your life banging your head wishing you had -
By the time the car pulled up beside me, I was feeling much surer of what I was doing. As I climbed in the car I was certain I was doing the right thing. That certainty was knocked when Switch pulled out the gun. By the time Trinity (I know her, I know her, oh god, how do I know her?) removed the bug from me it was almost totally gone. Why, oh why did I always listen to my own advice? It's never proved right before.
My certainty returned even stronger, though, when I meet Morpheus. I kept thinking, I've been looking for you for three years and here you are… Is this a dream? It must be a dream, I'm a nobody, an international terrorist would not want to meet me, much less say that it was an honour to meet me.
There's a period before you fall asleep where you never sure what's real and what's the dream you're falling into. You accept what you see because it may be a dream. It never crosses your mind that it might be real because it's too amazing to even consider.
That's what the talk with Morpheus was like. Even when he said that I had "the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up", though in dreams no one ever says that it's a dream, I was still thinking that it might be. I felt like I was waking up from a deep sleep, which I suppose I was.
It felt unreal from when I took the red pill and unreal when I watched the mirror repair itself. Too fantastic to believe. I suddenly began to doubt if this was a dream.
Have you ever had a dream Neo that you were so sure was real? What if you couldn't wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the real world… and the dream world?
Words burnt into my mind forever. A whole philosophy in a few sentences.
I realised it wasn't a dream when the mirror swallowed me, when the coldness spilt over my body and then down my throat, freezing me from the inside. When I felt something inside my head that wasn't my own, something that was being pulled out.
Later I realised that feeling wasn't just the needle being pulled out of my head plug. It was the realisation that the world as I knew it was being pulled away, leaving a hole that could never be filled again.