Father of the Bride – Part 6
By Littlepinkbook
"C'mon guys, this isn't fair! Where are you taking me?" Pleaded Arnold as he blindly groped in front of him – Gerald laughed as he guided him out of the car and towards their secret destination, making sure he wasn't going to slam into any walls.
"Sorry man – that would spoil the surprise!" Chuckled the best man "And no peeking!" He scolded batting Arnold's hand away from his blindfold.
Arnold's senses became very aware of the sudden change in his surroundings as his friends led him into the dingy, smoke filled hole in the wall.
"Oh no you haven't…" the blond man groaned.
"We have!" His friends chimed as they whipped off Arnold's blindfold to reveal what he had feared. He was surrounded by alcohol, guffawing greasy men and scantily clad girls bumping and grinding to sultry dance beats.
"I can't believe you've dragged me to sleaziest place you could think of the night before my wedding!"
"Well believe it man!" Grinned Gerald "C'mon – it's fun, live a little man, it's your last night as a care free bachelor!"
"Yeah Arnold", drawled Stinky in agreement "It is your bachelor party after all and this is what guys do on a bachelor party!"
"Yeah exactly – it's a bit of a cliché don't you think?" argued the engaged man.
"Awww – don't be such a wimp, Arnold! Now sit down and have a drink with us!" Ordered Harold, claiming a table near the front of the stage.
Arnold's resolve crumbled and he gave in and joined his friends, besides it was his last night of freedom – he might as well enjoy it.
A busty, young red head came sauntering over to their table clad in a skimpy leather dress – much to the delight of Stinky and Sid – and flashed them a practised grin. "What can I get you boys?" She asked brightly – resting a hand on a jutting hip.
"Beers all round please, miss!" Replied Gerald politely, rolling his eyes at the drool pooling under his friends.
"Coming right up!" The waitress said with a wink and disappeared to retrieve their order.
"I think I'm gonna like it here!" Laughed Sid
Suddenly the club darkened and a follow spot pointed its beam on some sparkly curtains hung over the back of the stage. The beat of a pop number from some cheesy dance band began to bounce off the walls and a gruff voice announced…
"Gentlemen – here's the girl you've all been waiting for, please put your hands together and your bills in the air fooooooooor….Rah Rah Roxanne! The naughtiest Cheerleader on the field!"
The shimmery curtains parted and out pranced a petite blond dancer wearing very little of a cheerleader outfit – she flashed a grin and began her routine much to the delight of the hollering crowd around her.
Sid suddenly jumped up out of his seat and waved a handful of bills in the air "Woohoo – alright – let's have some fun baaaabay!"
"Oh dear Lord" Cringed Arnold hiding his face in humiliation while his friends just roared with laughter at their earnest companion.
Roxanne began to bump and grind her way towards their table much to the evident delight of Sid and dread of Arnold. Sid thoroughly enjoying slipping a few dollar bills in the strap of her Bra top. The beers could not have arrived quicker for Arnold as Roxanne had decided to discard her skirt to reveal a glittery, pink thong which she must have thought Arnold would appreciate a close up of.
"Uh…v-v-very nice!" Stammered Arnold as he tucked some bills under the string of the garment in hope she would leave. When she finally moved on Arnold felt a wave of relief and downed about three-quarters of his beer – letting the bitter, carbonated water calm his nerves.
"Take it easy, man!" Chuckled Gerald with disguised concern, he knew Arnold very rarely drank so too much may floor him. Arnold merely nodded in reply, the way the night was going he could see this beer being the first of many.
And we wasn't wrong - a few rounds of beer later and the five men were getting rowdier and steadily drunker.
"Keep em' coming, cutie!" Demanded a more confident Sid – only receiving a disgusted roll of the eyes from the waitress.
"Pheh, enough with the Nancy boy beers! Bring us some tequila slammers, it's about time we started having fun!" Bellowed Harold.
"Whatever you want", sighed the waitress, stalking off.
"Now this is more like it!" Grinned Stinky, shaking some salt on his hand.
"Ok – 1 – 2 – 3 go!" Bang, down, suck.
Arnold grimaced and quickly bit down on one of the slices of lime provided as the fiery liquid burnt it's way down his throat. "Oh man!" He gasped.
"You ok, Arnold?" Asked Gerald placing a concerned hand on his back.
Arnold nodded again and prepared himself for another, fumbling with the salt, he was not about to look like a lightweight in front of his friends.
After several repeats of this process and a couple of lap dances later the guys finally got onto the topic of Arnold's encroaching wedding.
"So Arnold, tomorrow is the big day, nervous?" Slurred Stinky, looking at him through his shot glass like a telescope.
Arnold arched an eyebrow quizzically "Nervous * hic * why would I be nervous?"
"Well willikers, I sure would be if it were me! Tied down to the same woman for the rest of your life!" Explained a drunken Stinky followed by some moronic giggling from Sid.
"I – um – I guess so!" Arnold stopped to down another shot "But I love Helga, she's the life I know I'm supposed to spend the rest of my girl with!" He backtracked a second, knowing there was something wrong with his sentence but not being able to pin point it.
The five men dived into a fit of giggles at Arnold's statement "You know what I mean", he laughed.
"Well – rather you than me anyway", added Sid "Aren't you gonna miss nights like these?"
Arnold hadn't really thought about it before, he had never really thought about what he was gonna lose. Marriage certainly was one hell of a commitment.
"Oh c'mon – it's not the end of the world – we'll still do this guys!"
"Oh yeah – you really think Helga is gonna let you get wasted and come to strip clubs on a regular basis?" Scoffed Harold, perched precariously on the two hind legs of his chair.
"Well…she…I mean I…" Battled Arnold suddenly feeling very sick, what was he getting himself into?
"That's what I thought!" Added Harold smugly, reaching for his shot glass but instead losing his battle with gravity and landing unceremoniously on the hard floor – causing even more hysterics from Sid.
"I think I need some air!" Gasped Arnold, struggling to stand up but realising his legs were detached from his mind.
"Whoa there, shit, man you're wasted!" Gerald grunted as he caught his best mate.
"I can't do it, Gerald, I can't get married we have to get outta the country, now!" Babbled a drunk Arnold as Gerald pushed him out into the cool air of the street.
"No – Arnold – what you have to do is hurl!" Gerald rolled his eyes and shoved him roughly into the alley.
"Don't tell me what to do!" Arnold growled, the aggressiveness that comes in hand in hand with being drunk finally making an appearance. He made a vain attempt at shoving his best man but really just fell onto him.
"Gerald?"
"Yeah?" Gerald replied standing his shaky friend back onto his feet.
"I'm gonna barf!"
The blond man promptly tossed his cookies much to the disgust of Gerald who turned away and sighed…
"Great – my wedding present to my best friend– one hell of a hangover!"
To be continued…