I ate
the disclaimer and mailed the fecal matter to WB. They loved it.
Is
anybody even reading this anymore?
::crickets
chirp::
A Long Journey
Part 4
Kurt snatched a glance at his watch,
leaning on one of the square brick pillars that adorned the outside of the
Pizza Café.
"Took you long
enough." Jane spooked him by laying
her hand on his shoulder.
"I'm right on time!" Kurt
protested.
Jane looked at her own watch, held
it up to her ear, and shook it. Shrugging, she unbuckled the offending accessory from her wrist and
dropped it into her pocket. "Dead battery,"
she said, as way of explanation. "Or maybe I was hit by lightning without realizing it." She scowled; apparently, Jane scowls after a
joke instead of smiling.
"Ah." Kurt offered his arm as though he was an
escort. "Shall we?"
Jane looked at him wordlessly and
quirked an eyebrow. She stuffed her
hands into her pockets.
Kurt held the door for her, grinning
widely. He hadn't really expected her
to take his arm.
They were waiting for a table when
Pietro wandered (rather swiftly) to where they were standing. "Hey Wagner, who's your scary
girlfriend?"
"Go to hell, Maximoff,"
Kurt shot him a scowl that could have rivaled Jane's.
The aforementioned "scary
girlfriend" decided to take a more foreword approach. She put her face very close to
Pietro's. "Has anybody ever told
you," she hissed, "that you look like a weasel? Maybe you're just too fast for people to
tell you. Oh, but maybe,"
she snarled the last word, "you already know the truth, and you're fast
because you don't want to hear anybody say it."
Pietro, for once without a flashy
comeback, slunk back to where he came from.
Kurt grinned and congratulated her
as they were being led to their table. He considered a moment before continuing. "But… How did you know that Pietro was really fast?"
She expelled a breath noisily. "That boy is weirdly fast. Saw him during gym class." She looked up at the waiter and made her order. Kurt followed suit.
The timbre of her voice changed to
that of a teacher. "You see, when
you're insulting someone, you always try to turn their strengths into
weaknesses. That way, the insult'll hit
home. Also, people have a lot of faith
in their strengths. So if you do it
right, you can cause some lasting damage in their self-esteem and
confidence."
"Is that so, Professor
Murrin?" Kurt grinned a challenge
at her. "How would an expert
insult me?"
She lifted an eyebrow in
amusement. "Well, you apparently
have a lot of confidence in yourself, so first I'd cut you down with a generic,
but colorful, insult." She took a
sip of her Coke, then continued. "Then I'd probably make fun of your accent, heritage, sense of
humor, and appearance." She gave
him her trademark half-smirk.
They continued in friendly banter
until their pizza arrived. Jane almost
smiled in ecstasy when she saw it.
"I don't understand anorexic
people," she quipped, lifting a slice reverently.
A long string of cheese, glistening
with grease, stretched from Jane's slice to the tray. It snapped, flying back to splat on Kurt's watch.
"Oh, shit," he breathed.
"Aw, shit," Jane echoed
loudly. She put her hand out to
him. "If you give it to me, I'll
try to… sponge it off or something."
Even as she reached for him, Kurt
saw the image around him flicker and begin to turn off…!