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REGRESSION
Chapter 2: Blameless
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Ryoji Kaji could not hide the shock that still registered on his face. He kicked himself mentally for breaking one of the strict professional guidelines he'd set for himself: "Never get too close". Sure, that was unavoidable with Katsuragi. She predated his current position, and Lord knows he'd tried to distance himself from her. Deep down, though, he knew he could never leave her without hurting her.
He couldn't stay without causing harm, either. That was why he'd been so hesitant to come back into Misato's life. Sooner or later, someone would get hurt. He hoped it wouldn't be her, and he'd tried his hardest to see that they gained knowledge of the truth together, without exposing Misato or anyone else he cared for to the cruelty that was espionage.
He didn't know it would mean losing Rei.
Kaji softly brushed his hand across Misato's bare left arm. When she'd heard that Rei Ayanami had been killed in her EVA, she'd stayed silent for what seemed like an eternity. Her face betrayed her calm, however, and tears had already welled up in her eyes. Kaji had placed his hand in hers, and she'd finally given out, sobbing softly with her head buried in her shoulder. He'd followed her into the back of the ambulance, where the two of them now sat. The ambulance was now miles away from the wreckage of the NERV test facility, although the commotion had not died down around NERV HQ.
Kaji noticed Misato's sobbing slow and disappear. He looked back down at her to find her pleading eyes, swollen and red, looking up at him.
"Why, Kaji?" she asked.
He gripped her hand tightly. "I don't know," he said solemnly.
Misato rested her head gingerly on its side and closed her eyes.
Kaji watched her fall asleep in the stretcher as the ambulance pulled up to the NERV hospital loading bay. He held her hand up to his lips for a moment, then let her go quietly as the doors swung open and two white-suited men started moving her out in the stretcher. His mind was churning with the information he'd managed to piece together.
He knew something like this would happen eventually. With his attentions on Kaji, Commander Ikari had not noticed a second spy in his midst. Kaji had caught wind of it, though, and his superiors at SEELE had warned him not to interfere. That the new mole's assignment was "independent" from his own. He'd heard the broadcast over the radio equipment that dotted the aftermath of EVA Unit 03's escape, but it didn't make sense at all.
"Now everybody knows, Ikari. EVERYbody knows."
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"He's hiding the truth from everyone," the young man stated quietly, trying not to attract any more attention. He stared into a styrofoam cup of coffee and let the small whisps of steam curl up his rough face.
"Tell me something new, Minoka," Kaji half-jested.
"I know what he's hiding."
Kaji stared back at Ryo Minoka. The bruise under his left eye caused Minoka to wince slightly as he grinned.
"And what's that?" Kaji said.
The other man grinned wider.
"That everyone under Ikari is replaceable," he looked up at Kaji abruptly, "Some more so than others."
The man rose to his feet slowly and picked up his black leather jacket, draping it over one shoulder. Kaji rose with him and grabbed his other shoulder firmly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he said brusquely.
Minoka didn't look back at him. "Wasn't the eye enough, Ryoji? Or do you want to hurt me more?"
Kaji let go reluctantly, not removing his gaze from Minoka's head. The man turned to face him, a serious look now on his weathered face.
"If this is a play for turf, I'm warning you," Kaji said through clenched teeth.
"Not at all. We all serve our purpose. We seek the truth, for the greater good." Minoka stated calmly.
Kaji did not move. "And?"
"And I'm prepared to do so at any cost, Agent Kaji," he said. His eyes seemed to darken as if all the light in the room refused to touch his face. "Are you?"
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"Now everybody knows, Ikari..."
That Rei's dead? Why? That was grim news that no one in all of NERV wanted to hear. They would have heard sooner or later, but Minoka had been on the scene... as if he'd been expecting it. But why would SEELE want Rei dead? Without her, Unit 00 was without a pilot. 'What's left of Unit 00', he corrected himself.
What was it about Rei?
In holding bay #4, deep inside NERV HQ, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi paced absent-mindedly around the catwalk. The huge crimson face of EVA Unit 02 bore down on her. Ritsuko was grateful to be well enough to return to work, but she could hardly concentrate.
Rei II had been killed. This news had struck her hard, but not as hard as the fact that everyone in NERV knew this as well. It would be literally impossible to contain this situation now, and would be equally impossible to 'activate' Rei III and integrate her back into the project. That is, it would be impossible to do so without compromising the integretiy the project in the process.
'The Human Instrumentality Project,' she thought to herself. What would happen to his agenda now that Ikari had disappeared? Would there be an agenda at all any more? He'd left no letters of resignation, no final orders, and no clue as to where he was headed. She knew why he'd left, though. At least, she thought she did. Whoever that NERV technician was, he'd purposely shown all of NERV that Rei was dead. He obviously knew about Rei's true nature, and had done so to prevent Ikari from using her any longer without exposing the truth.
And he'd said something else, about "the arranged scenario". Was he working for SEELE, then? If they had a mole that knew about this, why not just use the information themselves? Why force Ikari into a corner? Ritsuko's head swam with all the questions that assaulted her mind. The most important one was obvious, though.
"What am I supposed to do now?" she asked her self aloud.
By the elevator, she heard a muffled thump as the doors slid open. Supporting a bandaged Major Katsuragi on her shoulder, Lt. Maya Ibuki shuffled out onto the catwalk.
"Are you... sure you're OK?" Misato wheezed.
"Yes, Ma'am, I'm fine... here, you can sit down over here," Maya said and walked Misato over to a small metal chair. Katsuragi sat down slowly as Maya walked over to one of the terminals and returned to work.
"Why are you out so early?" Ritsuko said flatly.
Misato chuckled softly and coughed for a moment. "They got tired of hearing me complain about returning to duty," she said. "Nice to see you, too, by the way."
Ritsuko looked back at her for a moment before replying, "Sorry. Way too many problems right now."
Misato nodded somberly.
"Besides the EVAs that at least can be repaired," she went on, "Unit 00 is beyond the Heindflick limit. Unit 03 is in workable condition, though, and we're putting it into cryo-stasis pending preliminary examination. From what we can tell, though, 100 percent of the Angel's DNA has been removed. The MAGI are currently running a high-level scan of the surrounding area for traces of the Angel, but so far they haven't detected anything. With no active being for it to control, it's highly possible that it simply dissolved. The same goes for contamination in Unit 00, but there's no point in trying there."
Ritsuko paused for a moment, looking back up at Unit 02's silent visage.
"That, and we don't have a pilot for the time being."
Misato cringed, but looked at Ritsuko. "For the time being? She's gone, Ritsuko."
Dr. Akagi was silent for a minute. Maya's typing provided the only sound in the titanic chamber. Misato looked down at her lap.
"I know she's gone, Misato. So is the Commander."
"What?"
Misato looked back up at Ritsuko, as did Lt. Ibuki. Ritsuko sighed quietly.
"He left after he shot the man with the video recorder. No one saw where he went after that. By that time, it was dark outside already, and everyone was concerned with the rescue attempt for Pilots Ikari, Sohryu and Suzahara."
"Th.. then who's in charge, Ma'am?" Maya asked hesitantly.
Misato answered for her. "Sub-commander Fuyutski is in command by default, Maya."
"But why did Commander Ikari leave then, Major?"
"No one but the Commander knows that, I'm afraid," she said.
'This is it,' Ritsuko thought. 'His plans are in ruins, so rather than work for SEELE he abandoned everything.'
"How are the pilots, then, Dr. Akagi?" Maya asked.
Her question snapped Ritsuko out of her thought. "Shinji and Toji are still under medical care. Both have been upgraded to stable condition. Asuka hasn't spoken to anyone since we finally removed her from Unit 02. She refused to check into the hospital, so we think she headed home."
Misato nodded. "I'm going to go check on Shinji and Toji," she said as she rose to her feet. "Asuka won't go anywhere."
She hoped she was right.
Misato Katsuragi's apartment was dark and silent as the door slid open. Asuka Sohryu stepped inside slowly, her steps heavy as her feet dragged across the floor. She neglected to turn on the lights as she headed for her room.
"Misato?" a voice called.
"K-Kaji?" she replied slowly.
Kaji sat up from the couch in the living room. "Oh, Asuka... you got out awfully quick," he said into the dark.
Asuka flicked on a light in her own room, spilling light into the living room through her doorway. Her shadow stretched across the otherwise dark apartment. The shadowy form that played across the floor stood with its hands on its hips defiantly, but as Kaji traced it back to Asuka's door, he saw the shadow did not reflect her red-streaked face.
"I told them I didn't need any help." she said, her voice trembling. "It's not like I did anything out there, anyway,". She coughed quietly, doubling over in her doorway.
Kaji got up from the couch quickly and rushed to her side, helping her up. She didn't look at him, but she barely moved as he draped her slim body onto her bed. He knelt down beside her, watching her settle into place.
"Looks like you should've stayed, Asuka," he said quietly.
She coughed again before looking out her window. "Why are you here, anyway?"
"I'm waiting on Katsuragi. They said she'd been released and was heading home, but I'm guessing she went to check on Shinji and Suzahara first," he explained.
Asuka's pale white frame tightened into a ball at the mention of Shinji. "How could he do that? He didn't stop, that idiot! What's *cough* wrong with him?" she whimpered.
"It wasn't his fault, Asuka. He wasn't in control of Unit 01 when it happened."
"I know that," Asuka shot back. "He could've stopped it if he wanted. I'd never lose control of my... EVA..." she shuddered as she started to cry again.
"It's not your fault either, Asuka. You did all you could."
"I'm useless, Kaji. I couldn't help at all. I'm worthless. The Invincible Shinji triumphs over Asuka once again..."
Kaji was quiet for a moment. Her words stuck home, that much he knew. He should've been on watch for something like that to happen, but he could never have prevented it.
"No, you're not. If not for you, Shinji might not have made it as well."
"What about Rei?" she whimpered. "Could I have helped her, too? And that idiot Suzahara? After all, that's what I'm here for, right? To save everyone else..." she sobbed and curled tighter on her bed.
Kaji laid his hand gently on her shoulder. She stopped sobbing for a moment, but didn't look up at him.
"They'd do the same for you, Asuka. So would I, if I could."
Asuka rolled over to face Kaji and heaved herself painfully to her knees. She let her weight fall into Kaji and draped her arms over his shoulders. He could only pat her back soothingly as she continued to sob into his chest. He heard her muffled voice ask something between sobs.
"Is Ayanami really gone, Kaji?"
He let his hand fall to his side. Asuka pulled away and looked up at his face.
"Maybe not, Asuka," he whispered. "Maybe not..."
The hospital hallways were all but empty at this time of night. Even at NERV, patients needed their rest. Althought there had been a sudden influx of patients after the disaster at the NERV test facility, it was nothing out of the ordinary for a city that received injured residents every hour. Misato Katsuragi's heels clicked hollowly on the tile floor. The dimly lit hall stretched on forever, but she knew its depths quite well. After all, this was one of the places in NERV where she seemed to spend most of her time.
She stopped at an open door and peered inside to see two hospital beds lit only by a single humming cieling light. In each bed was the form of a young boy. One of them seemed to be sleeping, while the other stared out the window, listening to a small portable headset.
Misato knocked on the open door quietly, and Toji Suzahara looked over in her direction from his hospital bed.
"Hey... Miss... Major Katsuragi," he said weakly.
"Hey, Toji," she said quietly. "How are you feeling?"
"Like my head's in a vise," he winced. "But I'll live... I'm more worried about Shinji over there."
Misato walked over to Shinji Ikari's bed and knelt down beside him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Shinji... you ok?" she said.
He didn't answer.
"Shinji?"
Misato got up carefully and walked around to the other side of his bed. Her face drained of color as she looked at him, though, for his eyes were blank and lifeless, staring out the window.
"Shinji?" Misato said, louder this time.
She looked down at the S-DAT player on the bed at his side. It was off.
"Shinji!"
The room was deathly silent. What seemed like hours passed.
"Stop," he whispered. "Stop..."
Misato looked at him fearfully. "Shinji, speak to me!"
He did not so much as acknowledge her presence.
"Stop..."
Misato yelled towards the door to the room and slammed her palm onto the small white button above his bed.
"Somebody help!"
A pair of nurses walked briskly into the room. One of them carried a syringe of what Misato guessed was some sort of sedative. She walked quickly over to Shinji's bedside and rolled him onto his back. She checked his eyes, felt his pulse for a moment, then looked at the chart at the foot of his bed. The other carried a small flipboard, and it was this woman that looked at Katsuragi for a moment before responding to her pleading stare.
"What happened... Major, is it?" she asked calmly.
"He's... he's..." she stammered, at a loss for words.
As the first nurse injected the sedatives carefully in Shinji's arm, she though she heard a low whisper, but as she looked at him, his eyes had closed peacefully. She stood gently and walked to her companion.
"Stress-induced hysteria," she stated plainly with barely a hint of regret in her voice.
The second nurse nodded, jotting something down on her flip chart. "Stay here and monitor him, but don't administer any more sedatives, or he'll never wake up," she said in a slight jest. Misato shuddered noticably at that remark and stood to leave.
"You'd better get some rest yourself, Toji," she said as she walked past him. He grunted softly in compliance and closed his eyes. As Misato left, the scratching of the nurses pen drowned out the barely audible whisper that came from Shinji's pillow.
"Help me... Asuka... help me..."
Professor Kozo Fuyutski had to laugh at the current situation presented to him. Fate, apparently, was not without a sense of irony. He had never expected the Old Men to get the best of Ikari, but when they finally did, he'd thrown both of their agendas to the wind simultaneously. SEELE no longer had their carefully-crafted puppet in NERV's Commander, and NERV no longer had a 'Puppet Master', so to speak.
And so, Fuyutski sat and contemplated his predicament. His desk had already become covered in the various letters and paperwork that had accumulated over a mere 24-hour period. It seemed the outside world had no problems submitting requests and complaints to a new head of NERV, no matter how temporary and questionable his position might seem.
For some time now, he'd wished that Ikari would finally realize that he'd gone too far. That he'd overstepped his authority by using the lives of his fellow human beings as currency. But Fuyutski had never wanted to be in his shoes, let alone thrust into them at a moments notice, surrounded with a dangerous situation and more than a bit of controversy.
And yet, here he was. At the helm of NERV, for better or worse.
"Commander Fuyutski?"
'Just worse, I guess,' he thought to himself.
"Yes? What is it?" he replied as he saw Lt. Ibuki standing at the door to his office. He was not about to trade in his modest office for that concert hall of an office Gendo had recently spent so much time in. He found that being more easily accessible to the NERV staff helped things run more smoothly, anyway. "Ahh... Lieutenant," he started.
"I have Dr. Akagi's preliminary reports on EVA Unit 03, Commander Sir," she said, producing a small manila folder stuffed with notes.
"Very well," he said.
"She believes that, using the current repair budget, we will be able to restore Unit 03 to combat status by the end of this week. All tests to detect presence of the 13th Angel have been negative. It is Dr. Akagi's recommendation that we begin work immediately in order to replace Unit 00," she read.
"What is Unit 00's status?" he asked.
Maya gulped quietly and continued. "Without a pilot, Dr. Akagi believes repairing Unit 00 in unnecessary at this time. She recommended placing it in cryo-stasis for the time being, pending deconstruction."
"Deconstruction?"
"Yes, Sir. The costs of regenerating Unit 00 is well beyond our proposed repair budget. Dr. Akagi noted that, if possible, some of the parts and technical systems from Unit 00 could be used in the repairs of Units 01 and 03."
Fuyutski grimaced slightly at that thought. "One for the other, eh?"
"Sir?"
He shook his head. "Never mind, Lieutenant. Inform Dr. Akagi that she will begin the repair of Unit 03 immediately, as recommended. On that note, what is the current position of Unit 03's pilot?"
"Pilot Suzahara's condition is stable. He suffered a mild concussion, but he will be released tommorow afternoon pending examination."
"I meant, will he continue to pilot, once Unit 03 has been completed?" he said.
"I'm... not sure, Sir." Maya said, confused.
Fuyutski nodded. "Anything else to report, Lieutenant?"
"Yes, Sir. As a final note, Dr. Akagi has recommend discontinuing use of the dummy-plug system until further notice."
"I couldn't agree with her more, Lieutenant Ibuki. Have the dummy-plug removed from Unit 01."
"Yes, Sir."
Commander Fuyutski waved a hand dismissively. "That's all for now, Lieutenant. Dismissed."
"Yes, Sir." she said, setting the manila folder gently on top of the mountain of paperwork before him. As she turned to leave, she stopped in place, lost in thought.
"Something wrong, Lieutenant?" he asked calmly.
"Permission to speak freely, Sir?"
Fuyutski nodded solemnly. "Of course, Maya."
She hesitated for a moment.
"Sir, you knew the Commander better than any of us," she said slowly. "Why would he leave so suddenly?"
Fuyutski didn't respond for a moment, regarding Maya carefully. "His past has caught up with him, Maya. A man can only run so far..." his voice trailed off.
"I see," she said. She quickly shifted back into Lieutenant Mode. "I will keep you informed on Unit 03, as well as its pilot, Sir."
"Thank you, Maya. Carry on."
With that, Lt. Ibuki turned on her heel and left.
Once again alone with his mountain of paperwork, Fuyutski laughed again to himself. "The Old Men finally got what they wanted. I'll bet they're having a field day..."
In the hollow chamber of SEELE, an almost palpable air of anger seemed to hang over the twelve assembled monoliths.
"This was not the desired result," 01 seethed.
"It was foolish to think that Minoka would accomplish his task accordingly." 03 said emphatically.
"Precisely. Agent Minoka was ordered to return to us with his full report, not to attempt to expose his findings to NERV itself."
"However, the temporary loss of Ikari is overshadowed by the knowledge that side "side project" has been derailed, permanently."
"That has not been determined, yet," 01 responded, regaining some composure. "Measures must be taken to ensure this... violation of the scenario does not reassert itself by other means."
"Without Ikari, though, we have lost a great deal of influence within NERV," monolith 07 spoke up.
"True, but other venues are still available to us."
"It would be unwise not to pursue Ikari, given the amount of resources and time we have invested in him."
"Correct," 11 said dryly. "On that matter, another of our investments is now unbound and loose within NERV."
"Agent Kaji must be dealt with," 04 said. "He was warned not to interfere with Agent Minoka..."
"But if he has gained knowledge of Ikari's project..."
"Let him be for now," 01 spoke. "Given the nature of Ikari's... project... it is unlikely he has the necessary resources to continue Ikari's work. In fact, he may be of use to us still."
The twelve monoliths vanished with the sound of a gust of wind, leaving the black chamber empty once again.
Inside Misato Katsuragi's apartment, Ryoji Kaji cupped his hands around those of the beautiful yet exhuasted woman that sat opposite him. Seated at her kitchen table, the first lights of dawn began to stream across the floor.
"What do you MEAN you knew about this?" she said, barely restraining her voice. "You didn't tell anyone? You didn't try to stop it?"
Kaji pressed his hands tighter around hers in an attempt to calm her. "I said I knew about the man with the camera. I didn't say I knew what his assignment was."
Misato felt on the verge of tears again. She'd lost track of just how many times she'd cried recently. The loss of Rei. Shinji's condition. Her heart was aching, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
Kaji continued, still firmly holding her hands together on the table. "I don't think he planned on what happened to Rei or Unit 00. However, he did find out something about Rei that the Commander didn't want us to know, and he took the opportunity to expose it. I certainly don't agree with his methods... I never did..." he stopped for a moment to sip from the mug of tea he'd fixed himself. He rubbed the knuckles on his right hand idly, lost in thought for a moment.
"Rei..." Misato whispered, holding back her tears through sheer will.
"Rei may still be alive, Misato."
She froze in her seat. "How? Ritsuko performed an autopsy herself and reported that she'd been... gone... an hour before the team got there."
Kaji shook his head slowly.
"Ritsuko knew about it, too, Misato. She was under the Commander's orders not to report anyone outside of himself and Professor Fuyutski on anything regarding Ayanami." he said calmly.
"B... but how can she still be alive, Kaji?"
"Because there's more to Rei than we'll ever know, Major Katsuragi." he said solemnly, looking back into her wide eyes. "But what we DO know could save her life..."
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AUTHOR'S NOTES
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OK, folks, here you go. As promised, things are a hair lighter. I plan on keeping this sort of tone for the time being and letting things change naturally, but people tend to forget sometimes that NGE _IS_ rather dark. That doesn't mean, of course, that I'll have a main character die every other episode or something just to keep the tears flowing. Given Rei's, *ahem*, nature, her loss isn't as extreme as most characters, suffice to say that this series will go on for a while. I may not be updating as often after this week, but I'll keep them coming quickly as I can. Promise!
C&C, again, is most welcome. Feel free to email me directly, if you want, but I prefer the reviews, mmkay? ^_^
Final note: I'm trying to keep the formatting simple, but whenever I upload straight-text FF.Net deletes all of my TABs, so I uploaded Chapter 1 as HTML, as I'm doing with this one. Anyone with suggestions on how to keep my style and still use text, please let me know (email direct though) See ya!
-Mezzanine
dubiousbw@msn.com
A NEON GENESIS EVANGELION fanfic.
Rights belonging to GAINAX and AD Vision.
Used without permission.