Chapter 8
The hot days of summer faded into the cool days of fall. Life on the McCawley farm continued. Evelyn and Kate became good friends, united in their effort to get Rafe to talk about Danny. He was still holding everything inside him, but he stopped leaving the room whenever the women started talking about Danny. Kate could tell that he was hanging on every word they said, wanting the information but afraid to ask for it. She and Evelyn hoped that when Danny finally made it home Rafe would be able to talk to him and finally work out all the guilt and other feelings that seemed to be tearing him up inside.
Little Danny, Grace and Ramsey became inseperable. They wandered about the yard, staying near the house, but were usually into some mischief. Rafe was always a willing playmate despite his work so he often had three shawdows following him around throughout the day. Grace was thrilled with her new Uncle Rafe, but she was still waiting for Danny. Evelyn had found on older picture of him, taken before he and Rafe had left for army. Danny looked young and carefree sitting on a hay bale. Evelyn had it framed and it sat next to Grace's bed. Every night she would say her prayers and wish for Dandy to come home.
Evelyn had also framed a picture of Danny for Kate. It had been taken somewhere in Hawaii - he was wearing a t-shirt, sunglasses perched on the top of his head, one of his rare smiles on his face. Kate fell alseep staring at it every night. In the beginning she had felt optimisitc. He would be home soon, she told herself. But as time passed, the fields were harvested, the weather turned colder and her body began to change, she began to lose hope. She so wanted to share these miraculous changes with him. Their child was growing inside her body. Their miracle. With Grace she had been too afraid to enjoy her pregnancy, and now, when she wanted to be rejoicing, she had no one to share it with. She felt more alone than ever.
Evelyn seemed to understand Kate's melancholia, she didn't press the topic of Danny as much as she used to. She made sure that Kate was kept busy with work so that she didn't have too much time to miss him. She didn't know who was more disappointed on Grace's birthday - Grace who spent the whole day waiting for Danny to show up, or Kate, who despite her words of caution to her daughter, was also secretly hoping that it would be the day he came home.
Rafe and Evelyn spared no expense at making Grace's first Christmas a memorable one. They decorated the tree, wrapped presents in bright colored paper and had a delicious christmas dinner. Grace and Danny were captivated by the holiday, but Kate seemed to sink deeper and deeper into despair. She smiled hollowly as Grace pranced around the living room with her new toys. She thanked Rafe and Evelyn for the lovely music box they had given her, but all the light had gone out of her eyes. She needed Danny.
"Rafe," Evelyn whispered in the darkness of their room. "Are you sleeping?"
"No," he whispered back.
"What are we going to do about Kate?" she asked.
He sighed. "I don't know. Maybe when the baby comes...."
Evelyn nestled against his chest, shivering slightly in the winter chill of the room. "I don't know if she'll last that long," she told him. "Ever since Christmas.....even before then, she just hasn't been the same. She's lost hope. She doesn't eat, she only sleeps. If it wasn't for Grace I think she would sleep all the time. It's not healthy, Rafe."
"What do you want me to do about it?" he asked.
"Talk to her," Evelyn told him. "She won't listen to me. Just talk to her."
Rafe sighed again. "I'll try," he promised his wife, kissing her hair. "But I can't make any promises."
Evelyn smiled against his chest. "Thank you Rafe."
The next afternoon Evelyn took the kids outside for a walk in the new fallen snow. It was rare enough in Tennessee and she thought they should have some fun while it lasted. Convienently, this left Rafe at home with Kate.
"I'm going to make some tea, do you want some?" he asked her as she sat on living room sofa.
"No thank you," she told him, her eyes on her book, though he knew she wasn't reading it. She hadn't turned a page in the past 15 minutes. This was going to be harder than he thought.
Sitting down next to her, he took the book from her hand and gave her a mug of tea. "I put a little bit of sugar in - don't tell Ev," he told her.
She glanced up at him, not used to being alone with him. "Thanks, but I..."
"Nonsense," he interrupted. "Everyone needs some hot tea on a cold afternoon."
Kate looked at him curiously. "Okay," she said, taking a sip of the hot liquid. "Thanks."
They sat there in silence. Rafe didn't know what to say.
"So, how are you doing?" he finally asked. "Evelyn's worried about you."
Kate shrugged. "I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about."
"Well, I don't know about that. She says you aren't eating and that you'd sleep all day if it wasn't for Grace. Seems to me that isn't normal behavior."
Kate looked away uncomfortably. "The baby's taking a lot out of me, I guess," she replied, her hand resting on her protruding stomach.
"I imagine it does. I can remember the last couple months when Evelyn was pregnant. She slept a lot, but she also ate more than I've ever seen anybody eat."
"I'm not hungry," Kate told him.
Rafe looked at her. He really looked at her. For so many months he had, not so much avoided her, but tried not to think about her, because to do that was to remind him of Danny and all the feelings he evoked. But now he could see that Evelyn was right, she wasn't doing good. She had lost weight, her belly a large bump on her skinny frame. Her hair was limp and lifeless. Her eyes stared at him him from a pale face, the green depths haunted by sorrow.
"You know, Danny's not going to be very happy to see me when he gets back," Rafe said, startling Kate by finally saying his friend's name after so many months. "I mean, he sends you to me to take care of and by the look of you it seems I haven't been doing a very good job of it." Kate continued to stare at him open mouthed. "I imagine Danny's going to be quite surprised to see you. Proud that you're going to have his kid. I hate to see that over shadowed by the fact that, well, that you've given up. The man promised to come back and he will. You have to believe it Kate."
"Do you believe it?" she asked him softly.
Rafe looked at her. "Yes, I believe it," he said. "Man would be fool not come and claim you and Grace and Danny's no fool. You just take care of yourself and his baby. Danny'll come home. He will. Don't give up on him."
Kate watched Rafe leave the room, his words echoing in her mind. 'You have to believe it.' He was right, she had given up on Danny. She had weakened as the days and weeks and then months passed. She had told Grace that it would take Danny a long time to get to them, yet she hadn't heeded her own words. It had only been seven months since she had left China, she couldn't expect Danny to magically show up. He had a lot of obstacles to overcome. Her way home had been smoothed by her father's money, Danny didn't have that luxury.
Kate resolved to wait for him, for as long as it took. If she had to wait until the war was over, then she would. It was only a matter of time now, anyways. The war in Europe was almost over, or so people said, and the Japanese couldn't last much longer. She could wait that long, couldn't she? To get Danny home safely she could wait a long time. Until then she would focus on the baby. She would make sure that when Danny finally returned to her he would also be welcomed by a healthy son or daughter.
The hot days of summer faded into the cool days of fall. Life on the McCawley farm continued. Evelyn and Kate became good friends, united in their effort to get Rafe to talk about Danny. He was still holding everything inside him, but he stopped leaving the room whenever the women started talking about Danny. Kate could tell that he was hanging on every word they said, wanting the information but afraid to ask for it. She and Evelyn hoped that when Danny finally made it home Rafe would be able to talk to him and finally work out all the guilt and other feelings that seemed to be tearing him up inside.
Little Danny, Grace and Ramsey became inseperable. They wandered about the yard, staying near the house, but were usually into some mischief. Rafe was always a willing playmate despite his work so he often had three shawdows following him around throughout the day. Grace was thrilled with her new Uncle Rafe, but she was still waiting for Danny. Evelyn had found on older picture of him, taken before he and Rafe had left for army. Danny looked young and carefree sitting on a hay bale. Evelyn had it framed and it sat next to Grace's bed. Every night she would say her prayers and wish for Dandy to come home.
Evelyn had also framed a picture of Danny for Kate. It had been taken somewhere in Hawaii - he was wearing a t-shirt, sunglasses perched on the top of his head, one of his rare smiles on his face. Kate fell alseep staring at it every night. In the beginning she had felt optimisitc. He would be home soon, she told herself. But as time passed, the fields were harvested, the weather turned colder and her body began to change, she began to lose hope. She so wanted to share these miraculous changes with him. Their child was growing inside her body. Their miracle. With Grace she had been too afraid to enjoy her pregnancy, and now, when she wanted to be rejoicing, she had no one to share it with. She felt more alone than ever.
Evelyn seemed to understand Kate's melancholia, she didn't press the topic of Danny as much as she used to. She made sure that Kate was kept busy with work so that she didn't have too much time to miss him. She didn't know who was more disappointed on Grace's birthday - Grace who spent the whole day waiting for Danny to show up, or Kate, who despite her words of caution to her daughter, was also secretly hoping that it would be the day he came home.
Rafe and Evelyn spared no expense at making Grace's first Christmas a memorable one. They decorated the tree, wrapped presents in bright colored paper and had a delicious christmas dinner. Grace and Danny were captivated by the holiday, but Kate seemed to sink deeper and deeper into despair. She smiled hollowly as Grace pranced around the living room with her new toys. She thanked Rafe and Evelyn for the lovely music box they had given her, but all the light had gone out of her eyes. She needed Danny.
"Rafe," Evelyn whispered in the darkness of their room. "Are you sleeping?"
"No," he whispered back.
"What are we going to do about Kate?" she asked.
He sighed. "I don't know. Maybe when the baby comes...."
Evelyn nestled against his chest, shivering slightly in the winter chill of the room. "I don't know if she'll last that long," she told him. "Ever since Christmas.....even before then, she just hasn't been the same. She's lost hope. She doesn't eat, she only sleeps. If it wasn't for Grace I think she would sleep all the time. It's not healthy, Rafe."
"What do you want me to do about it?" he asked.
"Talk to her," Evelyn told him. "She won't listen to me. Just talk to her."
Rafe sighed again. "I'll try," he promised his wife, kissing her hair. "But I can't make any promises."
Evelyn smiled against his chest. "Thank you Rafe."
The next afternoon Evelyn took the kids outside for a walk in the new fallen snow. It was rare enough in Tennessee and she thought they should have some fun while it lasted. Convienently, this left Rafe at home with Kate.
"I'm going to make some tea, do you want some?" he asked her as she sat on living room sofa.
"No thank you," she told him, her eyes on her book, though he knew she wasn't reading it. She hadn't turned a page in the past 15 minutes. This was going to be harder than he thought.
Sitting down next to her, he took the book from her hand and gave her a mug of tea. "I put a little bit of sugar in - don't tell Ev," he told her.
She glanced up at him, not used to being alone with him. "Thanks, but I..."
"Nonsense," he interrupted. "Everyone needs some hot tea on a cold afternoon."
Kate looked at him curiously. "Okay," she said, taking a sip of the hot liquid. "Thanks."
They sat there in silence. Rafe didn't know what to say.
"So, how are you doing?" he finally asked. "Evelyn's worried about you."
Kate shrugged. "I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about."
"Well, I don't know about that. She says you aren't eating and that you'd sleep all day if it wasn't for Grace. Seems to me that isn't normal behavior."
Kate looked away uncomfortably. "The baby's taking a lot out of me, I guess," she replied, her hand resting on her protruding stomach.
"I imagine it does. I can remember the last couple months when Evelyn was pregnant. She slept a lot, but she also ate more than I've ever seen anybody eat."
"I'm not hungry," Kate told him.
Rafe looked at her. He really looked at her. For so many months he had, not so much avoided her, but tried not to think about her, because to do that was to remind him of Danny and all the feelings he evoked. But now he could see that Evelyn was right, she wasn't doing good. She had lost weight, her belly a large bump on her skinny frame. Her hair was limp and lifeless. Her eyes stared at him him from a pale face, the green depths haunted by sorrow.
"You know, Danny's not going to be very happy to see me when he gets back," Rafe said, startling Kate by finally saying his friend's name after so many months. "I mean, he sends you to me to take care of and by the look of you it seems I haven't been doing a very good job of it." Kate continued to stare at him open mouthed. "I imagine Danny's going to be quite surprised to see you. Proud that you're going to have his kid. I hate to see that over shadowed by the fact that, well, that you've given up. The man promised to come back and he will. You have to believe it Kate."
"Do you believe it?" she asked him softly.
Rafe looked at her. "Yes, I believe it," he said. "Man would be fool not come and claim you and Grace and Danny's no fool. You just take care of yourself and his baby. Danny'll come home. He will. Don't give up on him."
Kate watched Rafe leave the room, his words echoing in her mind. 'You have to believe it.' He was right, she had given up on Danny. She had weakened as the days and weeks and then months passed. She had told Grace that it would take Danny a long time to get to them, yet she hadn't heeded her own words. It had only been seven months since she had left China, she couldn't expect Danny to magically show up. He had a lot of obstacles to overcome. Her way home had been smoothed by her father's money, Danny didn't have that luxury.
Kate resolved to wait for him, for as long as it took. If she had to wait until the war was over, then she would. It was only a matter of time now, anyways. The war in Europe was almost over, or so people said, and the Japanese couldn't last much longer. She could wait that long, couldn't she? To get Danny home safely she could wait a long time. Until then she would focus on the baby. She would make sure that when Danny finally returned to her he would also be welcomed by a healthy son or daughter.