Authors note: Many thanks for your reviews people, I really appreciated them, please send half your appreciation to d_d_duley, who is helping me write this. (You can find her other stories here on ff.net.)
Warnings: Bad language, a mad Cartman, and partial violence. (Also an irate Duo.) Heero will be slightly ooc. Also any Duo bashing or making him look like a wimp is unintentional.
"What the hell is that thing?" Cried Heero as Duo walked through the front door of the L4 apartment they were all sharing. (Courtesy of Quatre.)
"Uh, guys…this is Eric Cartman." Said Duo, trying to disentangle his legs from the infuriating eight year olds arms.
Quatre blinked slightly and smiled at the believing in god destroying people fiend, "How are you Eric?" He asked.
Cartman looked at Quatre for a minute before kicking him in the shins. "You dare to question the servant of god? Now pay the price." With this final threat, Cartman stepped up to the confused Quatre and hit him in the stomach.
"Um…yeah, there is just one more thing," said Duo, flushing slightly, "He thinks I'm…god." There was a very, very long pause before the other pilots burst out in fits of hysterical laughter. "God?" Wufei asked, wiping the tears out of his eyes, "he thinks you're god Maxwell? Now I've heard everything."
During this brief pause Duo took the time to look around for Cartman, he had gone.
"Damn where is he?" Duo screamed, desperately searching the room for the fat boy, "he could do anything if we leave him alone!"
"Relax Maxwell, what can an eight year old d…" An explosion that rocked the entire building interrupted the pony-tailed dealer of justice. Duo shut his eyes whimpering slightly, "I know where he's gone, the Gundam hanger, oh DAMN!!!"
"He's touching my Nataku!" Shrieked Wufei, grabbing his sword and waving it madly above his head, "I am going to kill that fat ass!"
"Oh cool, god has a real spaceship, no wait, he has FIVE!!" Cackling insanely, Eric Cartman clambered up the side of Nataku, "Hmm, this could use some re-decorating, I know, I'll surprise god by painting it a pink colour, he'll probably like that."
For some unexplainable reason, there was a large bucket of pink paint in the hanger, Cartman seized his chance and grabbed the bucket, before working his way back up to Nataku's shoulder. "I know, pink smiley faces will look better." He whiled away the time by sloshing the pink paint all over the poor defenceless Gundam.
"Now, let's see if this pile of crap works, hmm, I know, what's this." Cartman had finished painting the smiley faces and, worming his way into the cockpit, looked around with interest, grinning slightly he pushed a small red button off to one side. Lights began flashing on the dashboard, and a loud whooshing sound started. "Hmm, gods spaceship has a self destruct button! Oh crap, I'm in it!" Cartman moved with amazing speed for his size, throwing himself out and behind some large barrels. Granted he was a long way from the ground, but due to his fat, he merely bounced.
As Wufei and the rest of the pilots entered the hanger, they saw…nothing; the only thing left was a couple of smoking walls. As Wufei stared in horror at the charred spot where Nataku had stood, Eric Cartman crawled out from behind two barrels. "Hey god; why have you got a self destruct button on your spaceship?"
Five figures slowly turned around, five pairs of eyes glared at Cartman, it was the kind of glare an Oz pilot would receive just before being crushed to pieces. Wufei slowly advanced on the fat form of Eric Cartman. "That," He said, speaking slowly and deliberately, "Was Nataku, you, just blew up Nataku." Before he could advance further however, a piece of red hot metal landed at his feet, a smiley pink face just visible as it slowly melted. It was…had been Nataku's shoulder shield.
Wufei's eyes began to take on a mad gleam, "You painted pink SMILEY FACES on Nataku as WELL!!!" He began to walk towards Cartman again, raising his sword up higher….
To Be Continued…