Standards
"Angel, hi! And Fred? I didn't actually meet you last time," Willow greeted the newly arrived pair while Cordelia and Wesley shifted uncomfortably in the background.
"Willow," Angel acknowledged her then turned his attention to Wesley and Cordelia. "I assume you brought the car and a way to open the portal?" he asked.
Wesley nodded, bemused.
"That's it?" Cordelia asked.
"No," Angel replied. "There are a few things I have to say, but they'll wait until we're back in LA. Gunn should hear them as well."
"About going back," Cordelia said. "We've got finish up the peace conference first, it'll be a couple of days, maybe a week. You won't change your mind about coming home if we wait will you?"
"Plus there's Spike," Willow said.
"What about Spike?" Angel asked suspiciously.
"I was thinking," Willow said. "You've had first hand experience with Pylean vampirism, maybe you figure out why he can't un-Grrr?"
"Why should I?" Angel asked.
"Because he has a soul now," Willow said.
Angel sighed, "Explain the whole thing to me."
Later, after Willow and Wesley told him everything they'd determined about the situation Angel said, "There's something I can try, let go see Spike."
Willow led Angel to the way to the dungeon; Fred followed along but Wesley and Cordelia elected to stay behind.
"I have a link with my childer," Angel explained. "Spike is technically my grandchild, the link is weaker because of we're separated by a generation, but there's still a chance."
"A chance to do what?" Willow asked.
"I'll need someone to open the door for me," Angel said offering Fred the key. Once she took it he changed. Willow jumped away from Angel with a squeak. Fred stared at her contemptuously.
"Sorry," Willow said blushing.
Fred unlocked the cell door. As soon as it opened the beast Spike had become rushed it, trying to escape. Angel caught him by the throat and tossed him back into the cell.
Before Spike could retaliate Angel pinned him against the wall, growling authoritatively. Spike struggled for a moment then submitted. Puzzled he met Angel's eyes, then it was something more than mere eye contact.
With a painful slowness their green scales, ridged skulls and fangs melted away revealing the human countenance underneath.
"Angel, it hurts," Spike said pleadingly. "Make it go away."
"I know," Angel said quietly. "You'll learn to live with it."
"No, kill me, please," Spike begged.
Looking alarmed Willow began stammering a spell.
Angel watched in shock as the self-hatred in Spike's eyes softened to confused innocence.
"Um… hullo. I don't seem to recall…" Spike mumbled, blushing as he pulled away from Angel.
"What did you do to him?" Angel demanded of Willow.
"You heard him. He isn't like you; he can't deal with the memories, so I took them away," Willow protested.
"Willow, he should…" Angel began then noticed Spike staring at them with curious, child-like eyes. Angel grabbed Willow by the arm and led her a little ways down the hall. "He killed people Willow. A lot of people, more than you could imagine, in ways that would make even your worst nightmares look like paradise by comparison. He has a soul now, and it's right that it hurts him," he said in a tense whisper.
"You didn't see him," Willow argued. "When we first got here, he was screaming and clawing at his skin, it was horrible. It would have been inhuman to leave him like that."
"Tell it to the Rom," Angel replied.
"It's not the same," Willow protested. "You deal, he can't."
"No Willow, I didn't deal," Angel said. "I screamed and cried and pled for help or just an end to my misery. I tried to be a vampire because I'd forgotten how to be anything else but I couldn't be that either. I fed off rats and felt guilty even for that, because I thought they had more of a right to exist than I did. Eventually Whistler taught me how to live with the pain. He showed me a world beyond my self-hatred; a way to make a difference, to make amends. I was resouled for the first time almost a century ago, just because you didn't see me adjusting doesn't mean it didn't happen. I can help Spike adjust, he won't be left wandering for decades feeling like less than nothing because he can't belong to either world, but he to go through the pain. He did all those things, torture by remorse is nothing more than his victims deserve from him."
"Alright," Willow sighed. "It's just hard to stand by and watch him suffer."
Irritably Angel stalked back toward the cell muttering. "What is it with everyone? 'We've got to help Harmony. Can't you see how miserable she is?' 'Oh we can't leave poor Spike hurting.' But when it comes to me, the one vampire who is actually trying, for almost eight years now, I might add, to be a good person, it's always 'Deal with it Angel.' 'Don't brood Angel, it bores us.' And when I actually do it's 'Are you sure you're not too happy Angel?' I've had with this, with them, I really have."