Chapter 9 -- Choices
Searching our hearts for so long . . .
Jessie Bannon exploded out of her tent in a fury. She was so angry she didn't know what to
do. HOW could he have said such a
thing!?! Selfish, ignorant, spoiled,
insensitive . . . . jerk! She pulled up
short as she was confronted by the rest of the excavation team. They were seated casually around the outside
worktables discussing the day's excavation work in the rapidly dimming
light. At least, they had been until
she erupted into their midst. Now they
all sat staring at her in astonishment . . . all except for her father, who
looked at her in resignation.
"Well, what's he done now?" Race Bannon asked his daughter.
She looked at him for a minute and said in a choked voice,
"I think I'd rather not talk about it. He's just a jerk, that's all."
Her mother prompted her, "Jessica, you'd see it more clearly
if you'd talk about it. You've been
stewing for two days, now."
"Come on, Poncheta, spit it out. It can't be that bad. And
it will help to calm you down before you see him next week. What's he done?"
She stared at her parents wondering how she could tell them
that the young man she thought she loved . . . a young man they treated like a son . . . secretly wished they
would separate again. "NO! I said I don't want to talk about it! Just leave me alone!" And with
that, she turned and ran out of camp.
Race rose to follow her but a hand on his arm stopped
him. He turned to find Ruben Calderone
at his shoulder. He stood beside Race,
looking after Jessie. "Let me go after her, sir. I do not know her boyfriend and perhaps she will talk with me
where she will not talk with you."
Watching them, Estella was struck by how different they were
. . . Race with his tall stature, white hair and blue eyes contrasting sharply
with Ruben's black hair and brown eyes. And at 5'10" Ruben barely topped Race's shoulders. But there was an identical look of concern
on both faces as they looked after Jessie. "It makes sense, Race. Let Ruben
try. I'm guessing she'll be more
prepared to talk with him than with either of us." Reluctantly Race returned to his chair.
Ruben set off after Jessie, fairly certain he knew where she
was going. He had often seen her
sitting on a large tree root down by the river not far from camp. She seemed to migrate there when she was
upset or angry. Ruben figured that was
probably where she was now. He stopped
a short way from the river and peered into the dark. She was there, just as he expected, her shadowy figure
silhouetted against the silvery sheen of the water. Ruben moved up beside her and sat down. For a while the two of them sat there in silence. But suddenly, with no warning, Jessie began
to speak.
"I've known him forever, Ruben. We've been friends since we were children. We've been through everything together . .
. When we were growing up it was like
he was my brother. And we fought like
it, too. But we were so close . . . he
and Hadji and I. I used to feel like I
wasn't whole when we were apart. That's
why, when I missed him so much, I knew that I could go to the chat room and he
would be there. And I can always tell when
he's upset or angry or lying. And when
we both came to realize there was more between us than just being friends, I
was so excited. I had all these dreams
of how wonderful it would be and how happy we would be together. I love him so much. And I really thought he loved me . . . even
though he never said so. But he won't
talk to me. He doesn't tell me how he
feels. And when I try to get him to
explain himself, he does something like this! All we ever do is fight anymore. He can make me so angry. And I
keep trying to tell myself that he doesn't mean to do it, but it just seems to
be getting worse and worse. But after
what he said to me tonight . . ."
Ruben gently put his arm around her shoulders and drew her
against him. He rubbed his cheek
against the top of her head gently and said, "Tell me what he has done to upset
you, chica." Jessie told him what Jonny thought about her
parents' reunion. Ruben was quiet for a
long time. Finally, he said, "I know
you are upset, amada, but try to
think clearly about this. You say you
think he loves you." She nodded against
his chest. "You have been away a long
time. He has to be lonely and missing
you . . . if I was in his shoes I would be." His voice trailed off and he seemed to lose focus for a moment, but then
continued on quickly. "And why are you
gone? Because you are with your parents
in an effort to help mend their marriage. You can hardly blame him for resenting the situation that has taken you
away from him. Saying that he wishes
you were there with him does not mean he bears any ill will to your
parents. It only means that he misses
the way things were before. He must be
an honorable young man or you would not care for him as much as you do. And from what you have told me I think that
he probably feels guilty about the entire situation." He released her shoulders and rubbed her back gently. Then he brushed her hair away from her face
and tucked it behind one ear. "You need
to talk with him honestly, amada. Tell him how upset he has made you. And then if the two of you still can't work
it out you have time to make a decision about what to do." He caressed her cheek with the back of his
fingers. "He is a very lucky young man,
to have one such as you. I could wish I
could be as lucky."
Ruben could hear the smile in her voice. "Thanks, Ruben. You're a really good friend."
In the dark, he put his arms around her again and hugged
her, laying his cheek against the top of her head. And as he held her he thought bleakly that a "friend" was the last thing he wanted to be to Jessica
Bannon.
***
Hadji closed the file in his lap and leaned back in his
chair. Her name was Kefira. She was the middle child in a family of
five. She had an older brother Sumant,
an older sister Daria, a younger brother Srinivasan, and a younger sister
Maia. She was 18, an outstanding
student who was strong in the sciences and computers, and outspoken in her
opinions. He smiled secretly to
himself. Her name meant 'young
lioness'. He decided it was
appropriate.
Of the five children only Sumant, the eldest, was
married. His father had hoped that he
would take over the granite business, but Sumant had no interest in it. His interests lay with the preservation of
the country's natural resources. He was
a biologist by training and worked for the government as a naturalist. This often put him at odds with his
father. Hadji suspected that evenings
in that household were lively before he had married and moved out. Rajeev now hoped that his younger son would
take over the business. But the child
was only five years old, and was entirely too young to know what his father
wanted of him. Even at this age, Rajeev
was attempting to groom him for the business. But the child showed no interest. The two remaining daughters were being groomed as marriage
material. Daria was 21, a stunning beauty
with all of the graces that would make her an outstanding, socially acceptable
wife. In fact, she had been one of his
mother's top three choices for a wife for him. In Hadji's opinion, she was also what Jonny and Jessie would call an
'airhead.' And Maia was ethereal. At 12, she was interested in all that was
spiritual and religious. She had made
the pilgrimage to the temples at Delhi twice before she had reached her 10th
birthday. Hadji doubted she would ever
marry, a fact that her father probably realized, but was fervently denying.
The one with a head for the family business was Kefira. She had been in the mines and under her
father's feet from the time she was old enough to walk. She could quote granite prices from memory,
understood all aspects of the mining process, was capable of repairing
virtually any piece of equipment in the mine, and was uniformly respected by
all of the foremen. Her father
tolerated her with amused, loving patience without taking her seriously. She was determined she would attend a
university and study engineering and mining, preferably in the United
States. Her father was equally
determined that she would be married to some young man that would solidify and
enhance the family. Hadji suspected
that those discussions made for lively dinner conversation as well.
Hadji had learned this much from the files his advisors had
compiled on the families of the prospective marriage candidates. But he wanted to know more! So far, he had asked no questions of
anyone. He did not want anyone to know
that someone had captured his attention. That awareness would bring his mother and his advisors circling like
vultures. And he would not have her subjected
to those kinds of pressures. Not yet.
There was a part of him that whispered "What are you
doing? You don't even know this
girl." And as he looked at the
situation rationally, he was suddenly shaken by the direction his thoughts were
taking. He had become enamored of a few
girls in the past. Elise and Anaya came
immediately to mind. And in both cases
the results had been close to disastrous. And of course, there had been Shelley at school. But then she had barely even noticed he was
alive . . . No, this was
different. Kefira was different. He
could feel it.
He was certain Kefira had no idea who he was. Her sharp tone and acidic comments from the
night before told him that. Particularly since the entire family had come to visit that morning and
she had shown tremendous respect and the 'proper manners' for the royal
family. He had deliberately seen to it
that he was unavailable. The time would
come when he would let her know who he was, but now was not the proper time. He wanted to use that discovery to his own
advantage. In the meantime, he wanted
the opportunity to get to know her as a person, and for her to get to know
him. He rose abruptly and moved toward
the door. He had about an hour before
he was due to contact Jonny and Jessie on IRC. If Kefira was interested in granite mining, then he thought he should
know more about it. He would use this
hour to do some research on the subject. There should be plenty of reference material in the palace library.
***
It was early evening and Brandon sat alone in Jessie's
bedroom. Several days before, Brandon
had approached Dr. Quest about the possibility of having his own room. He told him he thought Jonny needed some
privacy. Brandon was pretty certain
Jonny and Jessie had fought the last time they were both on IRC. Jonny had been really depressed ever since. He didn't say much and he rarely laughed any
more. Brandon was really worried. And so was Dr. Quest.
Jonny had set up the computer in Jessie's room so that
Brandon could use it, and had shown him how to get onto IRC on his own. So he got on almost every night to talk with
Hadji and Jessie. He had told Jessie
that he was staying in her room and asked her if that was okay. She had been really nice about it and said
it was fine.
Hadji was really worried about both of them. Jonny had refused to get back on IRC since
that night. When Brandon asked him
about it he would simply say that he had nothing to talk about. And Hadji said that he could tell by the way
Jessie talked on the system that she was very unhappy too. At first, she had asked about him when he
wasn't there. But now she didn't even
do that any more. Finally, Hadji asked
Brandon point blank if he knew what was wrong with Jonny.
Brandon wasn't really sure what to tell him. He knew that Jonny thought Jessie had a new
boyfriend. He had heard Jonny tell his
dad that. And just last night when
Brandon had asked him why they were fighting, Jonny had told him it just worked
out that way. So he asked who Ruben was. Jonny had hesitated and then told him he was
a new friend of Jessie's. Brandon had
clumsily tried to point out that he was not her BOYfriend though. Jonny had just smiled this sad, hurting
smile and said that Jessie could do a lot worse than Ruben for a boyfriend . .
. and had in the past. Jessie talked a
lot about this Ruben person. It
occurred to Brandon suddenly, that maybe that was why Jonny didn't want to get
back onto the system. Maybe he didn't
want to hear any more about Ruben whatshisname. Should he tell Hadji that? And if he did, maybe Jessie would hear about it and realize what she was
doing to him. That wouldn't be so bad,
would it? Finally, with reluctance, he
decided that it probably wasn't any of his business and he probably shouldn't
interfere. So he finally told Hadji
that he didn't know what was wrong.
Jonny had also been spending a lot of time out on the net .
. . but not on IRC. He had been doing a
systematic search for any sign of Brandon's father. Unfortunately, he didn't have a lot to go on. He knew approximately when they were
divorced, that his name was Charles Simmons, and that he had been an
electrician working mainly in new construction. That wasn't much to go on. And he was rapidly reaching a dead end. What he really needed was a social security number. But that was going to be hard to get without
some direction on where to search. He
could try the county Hall of Records at Rockland. If Alicia and Charles Simmons were married in Knox County their
marriage license should be on file there. That might have what he needed. But there was nothing to say they had been married in Knox County. It could just as easily have been Waldo or
Sagadahoc or Lincoln counties. Or they
might not even have been from Maine originally. And the only person he knew who might be able to give him some of
the needed answers was Brandon.
Jonny sighed. He
really hadn't wanted to put Brandon in the middle of this search. He had hoped to be able to locate the man
and talk with him before Brandon found out what he was doing. But Jonny had come to realize that Simmons
wasn't that uncommon of a name. There
were just too many possibilities out there. And he simply didn't have the time to try to run down every C. Simmons
he came across. And he hadn't even
started searching out of state yet!
He wasn't really sure why, but what his father had been
trying to tell him for the last several weeks had finally begun to sink
in. Brandon was not going to be allowed
to stay with them for good. It simply
wasn't going to happen. There wasn't
enough evidence of abuse for the court to take him away from his mother. Sooner or later Alicia Simmons would win and
she would get custody of the boy back. And that thought terrified Jonny. Brandon's moods swung wildly. He
could go from being very high to very low extremely quickly. And Jonny hadn't forgotten his instinct
toward violence when he was really down. Privately, Jonny acknowledged that he knew where Brandon was coming
from. After all, there was a time,
once, when he had almost committed murder . . . The overwhelming thrust of pain that thought brought with it left
him shaking. With difficulty, he shoved
all thoughts of Jessie away. She was
lost to him . . . he was just going to have to learn to accept that and move
on. His immediate problem right now was
Brandon. The time the boy had spent in
the Quest household had brought about changes. Jonny was no longer concerned that Brandon would do harm to others; but
he wasn't so sure he wouldn't be prepared to do harm to himself. He simply had to find that boy's father!
Jonny rose to go find Brandon. They had to talk. As he
exited his room he saw a light under the door of Jessie's old room. Again that thrust of pain tugged at
him. When Brandon had told his father
that he wanted his own room, Benton had given him his choice of bedrooms. Jonny wasn't really surprised when he chose
Jessie's. His tie to her was still very
strong and the presence of her things seemed to ease an ache in him somehow. But that meant that Jonny spent much more
time in that room than he wanted to. It
had belonged to Jessie for so many years that even the walls seemed to be
permeated with a sense of her. Walking
into that room was almost like being in her presence. And right now that sensation caused him a lot of pain. He stopped in front of the door and drew a
deep breath. His father was out in the
lighthouse working and they were alone in the main house. Maybe he could get Brandon to come
downstairs with him. That way he
wouldn't have to sit and talk with him in there. Jonny reached out and knocked briefly and then opened the door.
As Brandon looked up from the computer, Jonny noticed that
he was frowning and looked unhappy. It
occurred to him that maybe he needed to find out if there was anything
wrong. He'd been so focused on his own
problems and in trying to locate Brandon's father, he hadn't talked with him
much in the last couple of days. But as
that thought crossed his mind he could see Brandon's mind click into gear and
focus on his surroundings. As soon as
Jonny's presence registered, the frown cleared and his face lit up in a smile.
"Hi, Jonny!"
"Hey. Whatcha up
to? I'm goin' down to make some
popcorn. You want to come?"
"Yeah," he responded eagerly. "Let me log off here and I'll be right down."
"Okay. I'll see you
downstairs."
It wasn't until Jonny was halfway down the stairs that it
occurred to him that Brandon moved a little too quickly to get rid of whatever
had been on his computer screen when he had opened the door. Now what was that boy up to? He thought about it for a minute and then
shrugged. Brandon would tell him when
he was ready. He wasn't going to push
him. He didn't want the boy to think he
didn't trust him.
The popcorn was just finishing up in the microwave when
Brandon entered the kitchen.
"Why don't you get drinks while I finish this up," Jonny suggested. "Then I have something I'd like to talk with you about."
"Okay."
They collected up munchies and drinks and carried them into
the family room. They both settled down
on the sofa and after a few minutes Brandon asked, "What did you want to talk
to me about?"
Jonny looked at him for a minute and then said quietly,
"Brandon, you know how much I'd like for you to stay here permanently, don't
you?" The boy looked at him and turned
a little pale. "Don't you?" Jonny
insisted gently. Brandon nodded his
head hesitantly. "But you also know
that it isn't necessarily my choice . . . or my dad's to make?" Again Brandon nodded. Jonny reached out and drew the boy against
him and held him gently. "It's
important to me that whatever happens, we find a way to make sure that you will
be happy and properly taken care of. I
don't trust your mother to do that. But
if we don't find another option, you may be forced to go back and live with her
again. Do you understand that, too?"
"But I don't want to!" the boy wailed and Jonny could feel his body start to shake. He hugged him tightly.
"That's why we have to find another alternative. So for the last couple of days I've been
trying to get a line on your father. I
want to find him and talk with him. I'm
thinking he may not know what's going on here. But to do that, I need your help."
"But he doesn't want me, either. He went away and left me and never even called or anything. Nobody's ever wanted me. Nobody but you and Jessie." The boy started to cry. Jonny held him, rocking back and forth
gently, not sure how to offer comfort to this tormented child. He wished desperately that Jessie was
here. She was always so good with all
of the kids when they were upset like this . . .
"You don't know that, Brandon. You don't know what happened between your parents three years
ago. I think that until we know
differently, we need to give your father the benefit of the doubt and at least
try to let him know what's going on. He
should be made aware of the situation you're in right now. But to do that I have to find him. And so far I'm not having any luck. I need for you to tell me everything you
remember about him and where he might have been going. I also need to know things like where your
parents were born, went to high school, were married, divorced and anything
else you can remember. That information
will give me a basis to start a real search." He brushed the hair out of the boy eyes and looked at him
seriously. "I would give everything I
own if I could find a way to ensure that you stayed here with me. But if I can't do that, then I have to find
another way to make sure you'll be safe. Will you help me do that? Please?"
The boy clung to Jonny desperately, but finally, in a small
tear-soaked voice he whispered, "What
do I have to do?"
Stroking his hair gently, he said, "Let's start with what
you remember about your father . . . "
***
Later that night, Jonny sat in the dark staring at his glowing
computer screen. Brandon hadn't
remembered a great deal, but perhaps it would be enough. He now knew that Brandon's mother had been
born in Maine, but his father had been born out west somewhere. "One of the big states with mountains,"
Brandon had said. He remembered
visiting relatives out there once when he was very small. And it was a place where it got cold,
because he remembered playing in snow. He also knew it couldn't be California because he said when he had told
his mother about the summer trip she had told him he had never been to
California before. Jonny wasn't sure he
was so willing to accept that, but he would at least start there. That narrowed it down some. Brandon said his father had told him once
that his parents had met while they were both in college. Charles Simmons was an electrician. The odds were fairly good that he attended a
trade school someplace for his training. And the impression he had gotten from
Alicia Simmons led him to believe her accounting degree was of the two year
associates variety. Brandon was fairly
certain his parents had gone to school in Maine. Jonny was betting this was probably a community college
someplace.
He stayed up until very late searching every database he
could think of, hunting for a trace of the boy's father. But by the time he finally gave up and went
to bed, he was still unsuccessful. As
he was dozing off he decided it was time to call in the big guns. Tomorrow he would get on IRC and ask for
Hadji's help.
***
Slowly, as if rising out of a fog, he became aware of
movement in his room. He rolled over in
bed, trying to figure out what had brought him out of a deep sleep. He suddenly felt cold air across his bare
chest as the blankets were lifted and a slender figure slid in and lay down
next to him. In the flickering light of
the computer screen on his desk, he could see the fiery red of her hair as
Jessie nestled up against him.
"Jess!??" His voice
was little more than a breath of escaping air, but she heard him and responded
by breathing out his name softly and nuzzling his chest with her cheek. Her silky hair fell across his shoulder and
chest, causing his body to shiver slightly. He could also feel the soft, slick fabric of her nightgown pressed
against him and her hands as they caressed his chest and shoulders. He propped himself up on one elbow and
stared down at her, dumbfounded. She
lay on her back and gazed up at him, her green eyes glowing in the dim light.
"What are you doing here?!"
"I was so miserable in Colombia . . . I missed you so much
it hurt. I finally couldn't stay away
any longer. So I came home." She ran a soft, gentle hand down his chest
and then along the waistband of his pants. She slid one finger under the elastic and stroked his waist. She turned her head and kissed his arm,
letting her tongue flick his skin quickly. His heart was beating like a drum. Her hand abandoned the waistband of his pants and slid caressingly up
his side in a feather-light touch that sent chills through him. It drifted downward again, her fingers
tracing the contours of ribs and abdominal muscles as it moved. She slid her hand under the elastic of his
pants again, followed it around to the small of his back and then back up to
his shoulders. His whole body burned. She tugged at him gently trying to draw him
down to her, but with an effort he resisted.
"Jess, you shouldn't be here! Please, I . . . " His
voice sounded slurred and breathless and he was breathing heavily. His voice trailed off in a gasp as her hands
began caressing him again. Her erotic
behavior was arousing him in a way that he wasn't sure he could control.
"Why not? This is
what I want. What both of us want,
isn't it? I'm tired of fighting,
Jonny. Tired of being separated from
you." Her hand drifted down across his
chest again to gently caress the hard lump at his groin. A strangled moan escaped him. "I want you. And I want you NOW. I want to lay naked with you in your bed and
have you make love to me until dawn. And then I want to sleep in your arms and when we wake up, I want to
start all over again. Please, Jonny . .
. please . . . " Her voice was a soft,
pleading whisper. His free hand caught
her roving one, trying to hold it immobile, knowing that if she didn't stop he
wouldn't be able to. But she grabbed it
and drew it to her mouth, kissing his fingers, palm, wrist, forearm, inside of
his elbow, and straight on up to his shoulder. As she sat up into him her tongue and mouth traced soft, wet patterns on
his skin. He could feel her nipples
harden as they pressed against him. She
took his free hand and guided it to one of her breasts, as her other hand
pulled his head down insistently until her lips found his. Instinctively, his thumb sought the hard
nipple. He felt, rather than heard, her low moan as he rubbed it. She returned again to his groin, and he felt
her hand slide into his pants and her fingers curl around his erection
gently. She began to caress him in
slow, rhythmic strokes that he was sure were designed to crumble his
resistance.
"Oh, God, Jessie!" he gasped, his entire body shuddering. He couldn't fight this! He'd
wanted it for too long . . . His arms
closed around her and pulled her tightly against him as his mouth fastened on
hers again in desperation. He ran his
hands over her body, and he could feel her shiver. The urgency of her kisses left him with no doubt about what she
wanted. He heard her whimper as his
hands slid up under the nightgown to caress her bare skin, and then her
whispered "Oh, yes!" as he grasped the garment and tugged it over her head
quickly. As it slid clear, he saw she
wore nothing else. His whole body throbbed, as he stripped and drew her down
with him to lay prone on the bed, his hands roving over her body greedily. She was so soft and warm as she wrapped her
arms around him and pressed her body against his. He kissed her deeply as he shifted, sliding between her
legs. Some part of him knew he shouldn't
be doing this, but he wanted her so desperately . . .
And in that instant, he woke. The room was silent and dark and he knew he was alone. Oh,
God, not again. With an agonized moan, he rolled over and
hugged himself, his body aching.
He knew from experience, he wouldn't sleep any more that
night.