********** SEIFER'S CAMPING TRIP **********
*** A fanfic by Vick330 the MadScientist ***
***** Disclaimer *****
Squaresoft owns Final Fantasy VIII, its characters, and much, much more. I own nothing, I'm just a poor guy, so please take pity on me and don't sue, please :(
The following is loosely (well, maybe not THAT loosely) based on my last vacation trip with my girlfriend, and if she ever reads this I'm in a ****load of trouble.
********** I - Where It All Began **********
Seifer Almasy felt like kicking himself, and if it weren't for the fact that it is an anatomical impossibility, he probably would have done so by now. How, Oh how, did he let himself get dragged into such an ordeal?
He couldn't even accuse Fujin of tricking him into it, for then he would have to confess at not really listening to her, and that would open the door to many assorted unpleasantness.
It had all started about a month ago, while he had been watching the Galbadia's Rextaurs VS the Esthar's Bahamuts big game. Fujin had walked into the living room, sat beside him on the couch, and pitched her sale.
There had been a time when she only talked loudly, and never more than three words at a time. But life with her beloved Seifer had changed her, making her heal from the wounds life had inflicted upon her, allowing her to smile, laugh, and open up to people. And thus, Seifer was utterly unprepared for what came next.
*** The following is what our friend REMEMBERS of the conversation, NOT what Fujin actually said. Please keep in mind that it was a VERY important game. ***
Fujin: "Honey, we have to talk." [These words usually strike fear into any man's heart, but Seifer was kind of busy]
Seifer: "Sure, Baby, I'm always here for you." [Automated response, didn't even go through his brain's frontal lobe]
Fujin: "We haven't been spending much time together lately..." [I don't like the sound of this!]
Seifer: "Yeah, whatever you say." [Another automated response]
Fujin: "...So, I was thinking..." [Seifer should really have started worrying right about here]
Seifer: "Huh, of course, that's good." [IDIOT! Snap out of 'Auto-Response Mode' yet!]
Fujin: "Yadda, yadda, yadda, quality time..." [Most guys fake heart attacks, or jump out of windows at this, but the Rextaurs had just scored...]
Seifer: "Yes, I'm all for quality, Baby." [MORON!]
Fujin: "Good because - [Insert here a sentence in a foreign language that you don't understand, never had, and never will] - and therefore..."
Seifer: "Right, right, I totally agree." [As most human males, our friend is an adept at the ancient, and noble skill of 'selective-hearing' - I wonder why we guys keep at it, for it usually has dire consequences, and I speak from bitter experience]
Fujin: "It would be great if - [Long sentence in a very old, ancient, lost, and rare dialect of some forgotten dead language, which nobody even remembers the existence of] - Do you agree?"
Seifer: "Whatever you say, my Love, whatever you say." [At this point, our friend was ready to say ANYTHING just to watch his game in peace]
Fujin: "I'm so happy! For you see - [More gibberish in some extra-terrestrial means of communication that the human brain is not equipped to process] - Good for our relationship."
Seifer (checking out the cheerleaders): "Yeah, relationships are good."
[The usage of the words 'Good', 'For', and 'Relationship' in any order inside the same sentence, should have blasted at least a thousand different alarms in Seifer's neural pathways - But since he needed the brain-power to pretend listening to Fujin, while watching the game at the same time, it simply did not happen]
Fujin: "Oh, Seifer, you're the best! And I found this awesome place where -
[Our friend wasn't sure about what she said here, but he distinctly remembered hearing the words 'TVs', 'VCRs', 'DVDs', 'Computers', 'Video-Games', 'Dependence to modern comforts', and 'Playstation Console' - He just failed to notice that the word 'NO' preceded each and every one of those beloved objects, at the time]
- Doesn't that sound like fun?"
Seifer: "YES! OH YEAH! WOO HOO!" [The Bahamuts had finally scored! YAY! - I had money on that game]
Fujin: "THIS IS GREAT! I really thought that I would have to fight you over this, but I misjudged you." - [Kisses Seifer passionately, making him miss the replay] - "I LOVE YOU! This is wonderful! I'm calling the others. We are going to have a GREAT time!"
And she left, beaming with joy, letting her man wondering what all that had been about.
Since his wife didn't bring the matter up, in the next few weeks, Seifer was lulled into a false sense of security.
Until that morning, that is...
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'WE ARE GOING CAMPING?'" Exclaimed a shocked Seifer.
"YOU PROMISED." Replied Fujin.
"Well, I'm not going." Stated the blond man.
"Seifeeer..." Said the young woman menacingly.
"No! Huh-huh! No way! You can't make me! I'm my own man, and if I say that I am not going, I am NOT going, and that is FINAL!" Concluded our friend firmly, crossing his arms.
And so it was that they were on their way to Esthar's wilderness...
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