********** III - Happy Campers **********
On the morning of day two, Seifer realized, with hidden satisfaction, that the relationships between his friends had dangerously deteriorated since the previous evening. In his mind, it was a great argument not to repeat the experience, but he wouldn't have been so happy, had he known what was in store for him.
Anyway, to top things off, on that fateful dawn, Quistis and Selphie picked a fight after breakfast, just before embarking on their canoe.
"And this time, Selphie, remain seated, and try to row forward." Was lecturing the blonde woman.
"Why do you always have to be the boss!" Complained the brunette.
Quistis breathed deeply, before replying, "Because, I know how to do this, and you obviously don't."
"Sourpuss!" Spat Selphie.
"Big baby!" Replied Quistis.
"Dominatrix!"
"Airhead!"
"Dumb blonde!"
"Look who's talking!"
"I know that you snore when you sleep!"
"WHA..? Zeeell!" [The tattooed guy hid behind Seifer]
"And you drool too!"
"Stop it, Shorty! I'm warning you!"
"And you mumble about..."
"THAT'S FRIGGING IT!" Shouted the blonde woman, then jumped in the boat, rowed with amazing skill and strength, and rapidly disappeared in the distance.
Selphie wouldn't go with Squall & Irvine, because she was still mad at the cowboy, and Fujin & Rinoa's canoe could only accommodate two passengers, the rest of the room being taken by a special container for supplies.
Seifer, predictably, was not pleased with the arrangement, "I am NOT getting stuck with those two natural hazards!" He stated.
"PLEASE." Pleaded Fujin.
The tall guy rolled his eyes, "You know what? I've had quite enough of this, I'm walking back to Chocobo-Town right now."
"Seifeeer..."
"No! Not this time! You are not the boss of me! You can't make me do stuff against my will, got it? Seifer Almasy does NOT take orders from NOBODY! I've had it with this descent to the depths of Hell, and I will NOT endanger my precious life with those two! I am NOT going with them, and that is FINAL! End of discussion!" Stated our friend stubbornly, planting his feet, and crossing his arms in a gesture of unbendable will.
Several hours later, as he was warning Selphie to calm down, and arguing with Zell about the proper way to row, for the hundredth time, Seifer reflected about how persuasive his fair, diminutive wife could be.
They soon lost sight of the others, and arrived at a fork in the river. Seifer was in front of the boat, and took out a map, but a gust of wind made him lose his grip on it.
The map evaded Selphie, seated in the middle, but was fortunately caught by Zell, who decided to take charge, and thus get back to Seifer, secure in the knowledge that the tall guy couldn't do a thing about it, in their present situation.
"All right, Zell," Said Seifer, in a resigned tone, "Which way to camp Two?"
"According to this, we have to go left, and we'll have a quiet, relaxing cruise on a stretch of river called 'Lovers' Lane'." Answered the martial artist proudly.
And so, they took the eastern branch of the Nozama, preparing themselves for what the guide, who had briefed them at Chocobo-Town, had told them would be a restful part of the journey.
All they had to do, basically, was to let the gentle current take them to the next camping site. They soon realized, however, that the waters were getting more and more agitated, and that an ominous roaring was increasing in volume.
"Oh, look at that boulder, at our right." Exclaimed Selphie suddenly "It looks like a guy with a hooded robe, holding a scythe."
"That's odd." Mused Seifer aloud "There's supposed to be threes on both sides of the river, not boulders."
Zell sweatdropped, anime style, "Huh, guys, I think that that boulder is called the 'Grim-Reaper', and that I was - Hum - holding the map upside down, and - well - we should have turned right at the river's branching, heehee,"
"WHAT?" Shouted Seifer "You mean that we are on the 'Lost-River', and going towards 'IMP-Falls'?"
"Why are they called that?" Inquired a curious Selphie.
Zell consulted the map, and said, "Well, it says here that the names come from the fact that if you get stranded this way, you're lost to the world, and that it is nearly IMP-ossible to survive the falls."
"Oh, how interesting." Was Selphie's delighted reaction.
Seifer couldn't completely take the panic out of his voice, "Weren't there any warning signs, or something?"
"Oh, yeah, I saw all those signs with warnings to go back, and cross-skulls on them. The last one was funny, it said 'Too Late, prepare to meet your maker' - Tee Hee!" Said the brunette merrily, happy at being able to contribute some useful information.
"And why, may I ask, didn't you say SOMETHING?" Asked a quite pissed-off Seifer.
"I tried, but you were arguing with Zell, and told me to 'shut the f*ck up', remember?" replied Selphie innocently.
Seifer didn't feel like commenting, for you see, the sound of the falls was deafening, and he had just seen a piece of drifting wood, not far in front of them, go over the edge.
Their companions, already at camp Two, were getting more and more concerned by the minute.
Fujin vowed never, ever to force Seifer into anything.
Irvine vowed never, ever to make Selphie mad.
Quistis vowed never, ever to lose her temper with Zell, or Selphie.
Squall and Rinoa simply vowed to never, ever snap at each other.
Of course, those are the kind of promises that are never, ever really kept. The important thing was that they hoped to see their loved ones again, and at least try to do so.
***** ***** *****