Chapter 2
Tai was outside when I got there (He's twenty-five and still living at home!). I dried my tears on the way up, and suppressed a shudder when I thought of what Tai would say when he found out. Or what he wouldn't......my brother could carry the worst grudge when he wanted to(he gets it from our mom). As I left the stairs we made eye contact, I knew Tai had appointed himself watchdog, and he had a right not to trust me. We both knew I was late.
"Hi, Tai." I said, trying hard to make my voice cheerful. I either succeeded or he didn't notice. He opened his mouth to ask me somthing, but I didn't even let him start.
"Where have I been? Stuck in traffic. Just me and my car, very boring." Little white lies never hurt anyone, right? His eyes, concerened, studied my face. I wondered if, since he knew my facades all too well (It comes from living with me all my life), he saw past the pretty smile and laugh, into the deepest reigions of my heart, and knew how troubled I was. He revealed nothing though, and to pressure him more would result in trouble for both sides.
"TK's inside. He's been waiting for a while." TK, why was he here? And then, I remembered, he was my fiancee. He was allowed to just drop in. I had to stifle another shudder at that thought, and I know Tai noticed. He gave me a questioning stare and I passed it of as an upset stomach. Luckily I got inside before he could ask me any more questions.
I slid open the door to the living room and nearly shut it again. My mothers cold stare brought back her dissapointed words the day she found out I was pregnant.
"I'm dissappointed in you, Kari. I thought you knew better than this. I hope you don't expect me to support you in this. In fact, I wash my hands of this whole buisness, you and the baby."
She's recently taken to vacating the room when I enter, or just ignoring my presence. This time she stood up to leave the room just as my dad came in from the kitchen, and TK rushed over to me ("Kari! Where have you been? I was worried!"). I could have taken it if TK, or Davis, or even Tai had given me the cold shoulder, but I was too close to my mom. And even after all the tears I had cried today, I felt even more start to well up.
TK took me in his arms and hugged me. I felt so safe and secure in his arms, but that only lasted a few moments. When I remembered my betrayal to him the tears stung my eyes even more, but I stubbornly refused to shed them in the presence of my mother.
We used each other for support as my parents argued in undertones, Dad's whispers soft and pleading, Mom's cold and distant. Then, forgetting that TK and I were still in the room, took Mom's shoulders and said, clearly upset, "For God's sake, Judith! She's your daughter-"
"No daughter of mine would be so irrisponsible!" She interjected, "I have no daughter!" TK gasped, and I began to cry as she stormed out of the room. Nessecity won out over pride in the long run, but I couldn't stand for TK, or my father to see me like this, so I left. The hall and my room became blurs in my hurry to get outside, to get some fresh air, to get it over with. I was ready to end it. I swear by all I hold holy I was........but when I thought of my baby, and my family, I couldn't.
I guess TK knew I wanted to be alone because he left, from what I've heard, after trying unsucsessfully to reason with my mom. I slumped down against the wall and cried, the tears seemed never-ending. I listened to the ensuing argument inside, and felt gratfied that TK was taking up for me, but uncomfortable knowing the whole neighborhood knew exactly what they were fighting about.
"I don't want to talk to you!"
"Well you have to talk to someone! I'm the only one who hasn't tried yet!"
"Why do you have to make this so hard on me?"
"I'M making it hard on YOU? What about what you're doing to Kari?"
"This was her desision, her mistake. I'm no part of it. And I want nothing to do with anyone who is!"
"You are a part of it!Your also hypocrytical! You were younger than her when you had Tai-"
"Don't bring my son into this conversation! He has nothing to do with it!"
"He has everything to do with it, your just to blind to see it! How can you judge your daughter for making the same mistakes you did?"
I know I should have tried to talk to her, at least get her to stop pretending I'm dead. But I have never been strong, or brave, like my friends.
Tai was outside when I got there (He's twenty-five and still living at home!). I dried my tears on the way up, and suppressed a shudder when I thought of what Tai would say when he found out. Or what he wouldn't......my brother could carry the worst grudge when he wanted to(he gets it from our mom). As I left the stairs we made eye contact, I knew Tai had appointed himself watchdog, and he had a right not to trust me. We both knew I was late.
"Hi, Tai." I said, trying hard to make my voice cheerful. I either succeeded or he didn't notice. He opened his mouth to ask me somthing, but I didn't even let him start.
"Where have I been? Stuck in traffic. Just me and my car, very boring." Little white lies never hurt anyone, right? His eyes, concerened, studied my face. I wondered if, since he knew my facades all too well (It comes from living with me all my life), he saw past the pretty smile and laugh, into the deepest reigions of my heart, and knew how troubled I was. He revealed nothing though, and to pressure him more would result in trouble for both sides.
"TK's inside. He's been waiting for a while." TK, why was he here? And then, I remembered, he was my fiancee. He was allowed to just drop in. I had to stifle another shudder at that thought, and I know Tai noticed. He gave me a questioning stare and I passed it of as an upset stomach. Luckily I got inside before he could ask me any more questions.
I slid open the door to the living room and nearly shut it again. My mothers cold stare brought back her dissapointed words the day she found out I was pregnant.
"I'm dissappointed in you, Kari. I thought you knew better than this. I hope you don't expect me to support you in this. In fact, I wash my hands of this whole buisness, you and the baby."
She's recently taken to vacating the room when I enter, or just ignoring my presence. This time she stood up to leave the room just as my dad came in from the kitchen, and TK rushed over to me ("Kari! Where have you been? I was worried!"). I could have taken it if TK, or Davis, or even Tai had given me the cold shoulder, but I was too close to my mom. And even after all the tears I had cried today, I felt even more start to well up.
TK took me in his arms and hugged me. I felt so safe and secure in his arms, but that only lasted a few moments. When I remembered my betrayal to him the tears stung my eyes even more, but I stubbornly refused to shed them in the presence of my mother.
We used each other for support as my parents argued in undertones, Dad's whispers soft and pleading, Mom's cold and distant. Then, forgetting that TK and I were still in the room, took Mom's shoulders and said, clearly upset, "For God's sake, Judith! She's your daughter-"
"No daughter of mine would be so irrisponsible!" She interjected, "I have no daughter!" TK gasped, and I began to cry as she stormed out of the room. Nessecity won out over pride in the long run, but I couldn't stand for TK, or my father to see me like this, so I left. The hall and my room became blurs in my hurry to get outside, to get some fresh air, to get it over with. I was ready to end it. I swear by all I hold holy I was........but when I thought of my baby, and my family, I couldn't.
I guess TK knew I wanted to be alone because he left, from what I've heard, after trying unsucsessfully to reason with my mom. I slumped down against the wall and cried, the tears seemed never-ending. I listened to the ensuing argument inside, and felt gratfied that TK was taking up for me, but uncomfortable knowing the whole neighborhood knew exactly what they were fighting about.
"I don't want to talk to you!"
"Well you have to talk to someone! I'm the only one who hasn't tried yet!"
"Why do you have to make this so hard on me?"
"I'M making it hard on YOU? What about what you're doing to Kari?"
"This was her desision, her mistake. I'm no part of it. And I want nothing to do with anyone who is!"
"You are a part of it!Your also hypocrytical! You were younger than her when you had Tai-"
"Don't bring my son into this conversation! He has nothing to do with it!"
"He has everything to do with it, your just to blind to see it! How can you judge your daughter for making the same mistakes you did?"
I know I should have tried to talk to her, at least get her to stop pretending I'm dead. But I have never been strong, or brave, like my friends.