AUTHORS NOTE: yawns Sorry you all about the delay in the chapter. I had basketball camp this week and I was hardly home. This chapter is manly about Hilde and gives a little background on her and Duo as well as some of her thoughts. Sorry nope no cutness as Marcail isn't in it. But I promise the next chapter will be back around them. This one is just so you can figure out the inner working of Hilde's mind right now. It wasn't as easy chapter to write and the next one will be up soon!
WARNINGS: There is some Lime in this chapter, so if you don't like it don't read it.
Hitting her room Hilde shuts the door locking it, before groaning in disgust at her self. A locked door had never stopped him in the past and by golly she was sure it would not stop him today either.
"Hilde what is wrong?" Duo questions his face concerned.
"MMM? What are you talking about Duo?" Hilde retorts a confused frown showing on her face.
"Let me think. Your mopping around dragging your feet and everytime I walk in the room you refuse to even look at me. Now I repeat, Hilde what is wrong?"
"Nothing Duo your imagination is getting the best of you again." Rolling her eyes she smirks at him. "And I need to go the store, if you want to have something to eat for dinner, so get your butt outta my way." Pushing him lightly, she walks quickly around him. "And you need to get back to work so I can pay your dinner bills!" she throws over her shoulder as she heads out of the shed that they used as a work shop.
"Yah, yah babe" he calls to her exiting form "But I will find out what you are hiding from me!"
Opening the door with a light kick from her foot she groans. She really needed to fix her car this walking was getting on her nerves, more than she really wanted to admit. After the war she handled the walk with little or no problem. Now she felt like it had taken years. That meant two things either she was getting soft or she was getting old, she hopped that it was the first and not the latter, she still had things that she wanted to do in her life. One of those things was to get married and start her own family. She had never known her parents but she wanted to experience it for herself. But with her past she found it very doubtful. Most men would not want someone with her past, and mental state.
Dropping the bags on the counter she laughs softly. "Get your head on the present moment and keep it out of the future or it might get you hurt."
"And why is that?"
"DUO WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT SNEEKING UP ON ME? For crying out loud my housemate is the God of Death not the FREAKEN PERFECT SOLIDER!"
Covering his ears Duo winces "Damn Hilde when did you get that set of lungs?"
Propping her hands on her hips Hilde rolls her eyes. "I believe I was born with them Maxwell imagin that!"
"How come you didn't yell that loud back in space? I would have found you no problem."
Smacking him lightly on the head she sighs "Duo do you have any brains? No? Start boiling some water, because we are having spaghetti. I am so not in the mood to cook anything else tonight. Oh, it's your night to do dishes as well."
"Its what?" he yelps eyeing her suspiciously. "I did them last night!"
"You also lost the bet on the soccer game." she smirks. "So ya you have dishes tonight."
"Hilde I still think you cheated on that."
'How in the world could I cheat Duo? It was LIVE TV you either win or you lose with these things."
"I don't know, I just know that you did."
"Uh hu, right Maxwell." Smirking at him she rolls her eyes. "Although it was predicted it was going to be a major upset and that they would win hands down." Blinking at him she puts on her most innocent face. "Does that count?"
"HILDE!" He yelps before grabbing her and pinning her against him. "That is cheating in its slyest form. And now you must be punished." Reaching down her starts to tickle her, from long experience he knew exactly where her ticklish spots were. Now he was putting that knowledge into use.
"DUO MAXWELL!" She yelps giggling madly. "Let me GO!"
"Are you going to do the dishes?"
"Nope, you lost the bet no matter what you say." she shrieks. "Now let go!"
Sighing he stops his tickle torture. Grinning down at her he pouts. " You are just no fun babe."
"Ha ha," she retorts once again rolling her eyes. "Yah, was that one supposed to hurt Maxwell?" Blinking at his lack of comment she frowns, looking up at him she freezes completely. He was staring at her lips as if they captivated him. "D…Duo what are you doing?" she whispers.
"You know you have very pretty lips?" he whispers his voice carrying a husky quality in it.
"What in the world are you talking about?" Ignoring her again he starts to lower his head. The sure-fire knowledge that he was about to kiss her prompted her into action. "No, I won't let you contaminate yourself." she wails. With one quick move she was out of his arms and flying up the stairs.
Hitting her room she slams the door shut and locks it just as he hits the door. "Hilde open the door!" He orders.
"NO!"
"Yes."
"NO!"
"Why not?"
"You can't come in here Duo." was her only reply as she grabs some clothes out of her dresser and throws them into a bag. He could not contaminate himself by kissing her she was unclean and he deserved so much more than that. She knew he cared, but she never knew how much until a few minutes ago. He was always unrestrained with her never holding back anything. That was why they got along so well, neither of them kept anything from each other. But they never talked about their past unless one volunteered the information, and quiet frankly neither did unless they had nightmares. Hers were very violent, to the point of where once of twice she had tried to throw herself out of the window in her dream. The only reason she hadn't was because Duo had awoken to her cries, she had scared him to death and herself. But there was no time for memories she had to leave and quick.
A click of the door was in fact her only warning, slamming her weight against he door she shut it before he could react. Reaching up she tried to shut the lock again only to have a strong push against the door crack it enough to where the door would not open.
"Hilde open the door."
"NO! Duo go away, its better so much this way."
"Better for who? You or me Hilde?" With a grunt he pushed it a couple of inches, holding it fast. Eyes looking around widely Hilde groans. There was only one way out and that was her window, looking at the lock she sighs in relief, a short-tempered relief as Duo threw his weight against the door again pushing it a inch more. She would only have once chance. Waiting for him to grunt in exertion again she released her hold on the door hearing his startled gasp as she did, and a thunk as he hit the floor.
Sprinting towards the window she grabs the latch, fumbling in her haste, and opened the door with a solid arm movement. Hoping easily into the window she gasps as strong arms wrap around her waste.
"Duo met me GO!"
"I really don't think so." he whispers into her ear sending shivers down her spine.
Looking up she feels a flash of fear hit her in the pit of her stomach. He had a grin on his face, but his eyes were hard and a deep purple, with a mixture of emotions that she couldn't read, flashing through them. "You have some explaining to do."
"I have no such thing Duo Maxwell." Trying to wiggle out of his arms she represses the urge to scream, but it was no use, he was too strong for her to escape.
"First off why did you run, no wait better yet, why did you yell 'I won't let you contaminate yourself?' " Snapping her mouth shut from the intended verbal attack she glares at him. "Its okay you don't have to tell me." Smirking down at her he continues "I can just kiss you senseless until you decide to tell me." Freezing completely she blinks up at him in shock. He had never tried anything like this before; he had to be kidding. "And no, I am not kidding."
Sitting calmly on her bed, he shifts her until her legs are straddling him and she is forced to look at him. Lowering his head he stops when his lips are just a hairs breath away from hers. "Start talking Hilde or I will take action here." A sarcastic smile lighting his face he grins "And I take no prisoners."
Eyes widening in shock she frowns. Just like the baka to use his mouth instead of his brain. "Duo, I do not want to talk about this."
"To bad babe, because you have been avoiding me for days and then you yell something about contamination? No, you are going to explain Hilde, if it's the last thing I get you to do."
"I said I don't…" Something soft suddenly presses itself against her lips efficiently cutting her speech off. Blinking she realizes that it was Duo's lips. It wasn't a passionate kiss nor was it a demanding kiss, it was sweet and simple. It also left her feeling warm and giddy inside, much to her chagrin. And it was over far too soon for her. Looking up she blinks at him "You just kissed Me." she says incredulous, she had never in a million years thought that he would go through with his threat.
Licking his lips, causing her to blush, Duo grins down at her. "Yep, now since I just contaminated myself you had better start explaining just what I contaminated myself with."
"I don't want to talk about it" she whispers softly blinking back tears.
"Hilde." he says tipping her chin up forcing her to look at him. "Don't make me kiss you again." Looking at her a slow grin spreads across his face "Nevermind just keep beaten around the bush I would LOVE to kiss you again."
Blinking she sighs, it wasn't that she didn't want him to kiss her, in fact she would welcome it, she just didn't want to talk about this part of her life. She was still haunted by it, her life had not been kind to her so far and now he was asking her to share the part of her. That she had sworn she would lock up and hide from the world for the rest of her life. She didn't know if she could, she had faced so much, but this was one of her worst memories, the darkest secret she contained. It was a blot upon her soul, she didn't want him to feel repulsed by it, nor did she want his pity.
"Fine." she snaps blinking rapidly, "But let me take my time okay? I don't know if I can get it all out."
"Fine with Me." he replies. "I have all night." Once again shifting her he turns her around, cradling her like a baby.
"When I was two my parents were killed by an Alliance soldier, one of the reasons that I jumped at the chance to get back at them threw OZ. I like many of the children lived on the streets, there were a bunch of us in my group. We had children that were younger than us that we looked after. We found the odd job here and there, it's funny how so many people who say that hiring children for work is wrong and should be called criminal, because that is exactly what we did. One day I think I was twelve then I was completing one of my jobs when a man approached me out of the blue. I ignored him and hoped he would go away and he eventually did, when I got back to the alley that we called home he was waiting for me." A shudder racking her frame she bites back tears "He said a lot of things most of them I blocked out" Shaking her head against him she involuntarily pulls him closer. "When I refused what he offered he, he forced himself at me. That is why I say I am contaminated Duo, I am no person for you, for anyone. I never will be." Tears streaming down her face she bites back a sob.
"It wasn't your fault Hilde." He whispers furiously. "You did nothing wrong, the war threw so many things at us." Tilting her chin once again he stares at her tear streaked face "It was NOT your fault, do you understand me." Nodding her head she looks away, how could he say that? If she had been wiser it never would have happened. "Hilde." he whispers recognizing the look that was on her face, he and the others had worn it themselves much too long during the war. "Look at me, babe come on." Looking at her listless face he frowns, she was ignoring him again. 'Probably reliving it,' he realizes as a shudder rips through her frame. Pulling her closer he did the only thing he knew to do, he kissed her.
Time went very slowly for Duo Maxwell, for his first kiss with Hilde that was. The first in his opinion was not a kiss it was a warning, this though was something entirely different. Her mouth was soft and inviting and she tasted like strawberries, that and the feel of her tiny arms coming around his neck was almost too much for him too handle. Parting her lips with his own he gently deepened the kiss. A few moments, a lifetime to him, later he broke this kiss, he needed air and he didn't want to scare her off by losing control. "Hilde, Hilde" he chids softly kissing her lightly once more "I would never kiss anyone who might contaminate me. Nope only the best for the God of Death."
Hitting him in the chest she groans while bagging her head against his arm "Do you always have to ruin the moment Duo?"
Shaking her head Hilde chuckles softly at the memory, she was a baka that was the only clear thing in her head right about now. Here she was wasting valued sleeping time thinking about her past. Pulling out her Journal Hilde grabs her pen. She had gotten into the habit of writing out her thoughts anymore. She found that it was easier to sort them out from the jumbled mess that was her head.
Dear Me,
My entrée titles seem to be getting weirder and weirder uh? It cant be helped I guess, what am I going to do with myself here? Marcail turns three in a couple of days and I still don't have the faintest clue as to what to give her. It seems that my life has been turned upside down. I know that I could get her a 'styth' as she calls it, but I want to give her something that she will remember. Maybe I am going crazy or maybe I am just getting old, who knows? Relena has a saying that she used to preach at us, 'Life is only what you make of it, take it as it comes or turn you're back.' Lately it's coming to be more of my life story. I wonder what you would say Relena if you could read my mind lately. Would you have some infinite wisdom to pass down to me? Or would you just tell me to follow my heart? How does one follow their heart anyway? Especially if they don't know what their heart it trying to tell them, to me, the inner workings of my heart is as clear as mud.
Then there is Duo, that crazy baka still hasn't changed. I still love him of course, but what am I going to do? The whole absence makes the heart fonder is true, I need him badly in my life. And yet everytime I want to say something the fact that I hurt him slaps me in my face. I have to be able to forgive myself for hurting him. At least that was what Relena preached after the wars to Milliardo, about how the only way he could move on was to forgive himself for his mistakes. The same principle applies to me, I am sure, but how do you do that when you don't feel as if you are worthy of forgiveness? I am running again, I thought that I was over that, but it looks like I am running. Maybe I should read that silly essay that my teacher made me write over that one of these days. Who knows? I may or may not, why is it every time I get scared I run? And how come that baka always chases? Do I want him to? What would I do if he didn't? It's time like these that I wish I had my mom to tell me what she would do. Mothers have an infinite wisdom to hand down to their children, I only hope that I can be half of the Mother to Marcail that I always wanted. What am I going to do? What would you do? Okay now I know that I have lost it, I am talking to a book that can't talk back. I need Mary. Maybe I should call her, who knows it might do me some good.
Finishing her entry she sighs while plopping the book down on the nightstand next to the bed. Reaching up she reaches for the glasses that were no longer existent. Shaking her head she sighs, it was going to be a long day tomorrow, and she needed her sleep.
Blinking she groans as she sees the sunlight peaking through the window, it was too early to be getting up when all she wanted to do was to sleep. Looking at the clocks she refrains from sending it flying across the room. It read 8:21 and she could already hear Marcail's delighted laughter coming from somewhere in the house.
Throwing the bed covers over she walks over to the mirror and freezes. "Dear God this can't be happening." On the mirror written in what looked to be eyeliner was the words.
Welcome back Hilde. Time to pay up murderer!
Authors note: Sorry you all that this chapter did take so long. The next one should be out a lot sooner I hope though I have to go somewhere this week so we shall see. As usual if you have any questions or comments let me know and as always the note shall be explained soon such as who is sending them. But if you want to email me at rabynhitt@aol.com and you know the procedure.
And a special thanks to all of you who have reviewed my story, especially Sabacat, Jania not only have you reviewed my story but Jania you have encouraged me just by talking to me and giving me ideas. Sabacat thanks so much for hosting my stuff I appreciate it more than you know!