Authors note: Well, I at least know now that it's semi-funny due to getting 2 reviews. Thanks guys! If you have any ideas for the story, give them to me. Now with that done, On with the fic! ~ Laserlight
Disclaimer: As you know, we poor irrelevant people in my house don't own Zelda! They belong to Nintendo.
When Cuccos Attack!!
After countless days of experiments, the crazed caretaker finally created something worthy of fighting. Yes, something so impossible that it worked.
Grog: Yes, hatch little cucco. Soon you will carry out my evil deed for the master.
In front of Grog, a red egg hatched. It was a little red cucco. Grog put on the dark Bremen's mask again and made the cucco grow.
Grog: FIRE CUCCO! DO MY EVIL BIDDING AND DESTROY EVERYTHING! AND GET ME SOME FOOD!
Evil Cucco: GROG!
The caretaker turned around and bowed down to the evil one.
Grog: Yes oh evil cucconess one?
Evil Cucco: Are you sure this plan will work? If it doesn't, I'll make you into my next meal!
Grog: Yes oh evil one. I made the cucco fireproof. I will not fail this time.
The Fire cucco landed in front of Grog and gave him a sandwich. This made the evil cucco look skeptic. After it handed its master the sandwich, the firebird flew across the sky.
Cremia: Hey look sis! It's another cucco coming out of Grog's place!
Romani: Do you think it'll multiply like the last set of cuccos? We still have the extra from a few days ago!
Cremia: I dunno. Maybe we can start a restaurant or something if we get more.
Both of them shrug and continue with their chores.
Meanwhile, Link was running around Termina. He was still looking for a way out since he beat Majora. A green slime came in his path.
Link: DIE SLIME! JUST DIE! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO STAY DOWN!!
Due to shock, the slime backed up. The frustrated kid proceeded to chop it up with his sword. This time it stayed down.
Link: Ugh...great.
He looked upon his sword to see icky green slime on the blade. He wiped it on the grass. This didn't help much, since the slime was now filled with grass. He decided to go to clock town to buy a cloth to get it off. He entered through the north exit.
The place looked nothing less of a hellhole.
A familiar bald guy with a big handkerchief and blue tights was cowering behind the slide while an old lady with a bomb mask was trying to look for someone. Tingle was running around in circles with his balloon dragging along with him. The bomber leader kept popping balloons. A keaton tried to make the keaton grass stay in place. The only thing that stayed normal was the mailbox…which was singing.
Old Lady: Wait until I find you!
Bald Guy: ……
Tingle: My maps! They're all gone!
Bomber Leader: Balloon number 457…
Keaton: Stay still! How am I supposed to get any visitors?
Mailbox: I'm a little teapot, short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout…
All of this commotion went on for a while until the Old Lady found the Bald Guy. She triggered the bomb mask, which triggered the bombs in the handkerchief. The Bald Guy flew out of clock town and the Old Lady was covered in soot. Link grabbed a piece of handkerchief that was floating in the air and cleaned his sword. Then he went to through a door that led him to East clock town. It seemed to be Hades' realm there too. Everyone was running and screaming around. On top of Anju's roof was a red cucco. Link stopped the mailman to ask what was going on.
Mailman: RED CUCCO! RED FIRE BREATHING CUCCO!
Link then scrambled onto the straw roof and tried the fire arrow. This did no harm to it, but it turned around and breathed fire at him. He dodged and jumped off the roof…that was now on fire.
Anju: My roof! Now I'm going to have to get that fixed.
Link proceeded to run out any exit he could. The exit he took happened to take him towards the great bay lake.
One problem, the fence.
The Fire Cucco spit out another line of flames that almost hit Link. It ended up incinerating the fence. Link jumped over the remains and ran all the way to the lake. He put the Zora mask on and dived in.
He swam all the way to Zora hall. This gave him a plan. Evan walked up to him.
Evan: Hey Mikau, what's going on?
Link: I need help! There's a fire breathing cucco outside!
Evan: Yeah right.
Evan swam walked through the door. A few minutes later, he came in with a charred head.
Evan: HELP! FIRE BREATHING CUCCO!
Soon, everybody in Zora hall was in a meeting.
Jappas: So, what are we going to do?
Lulu: We can't just stand here!
Zora Shopkeeper: Well, it's fire right? I got a plan.
Everybody huddled around and listened. A moment later, Link swam to the surface. He looked around for the cucco, but couldn't find it. Suddenly he felt hot flames behind him. He dived back under and signaled the others. They all surfaced.
Evan: Ready, aim, FIRE!
All of the Zoras fired huge blasts of water from their squirt guns. They practically blasted the cucco HIGHER than it could already fly. When it fell back to Earth, it plunged 50 ft. through the water. Then it was never seen again.
After the cucco was flushed all of the Zoras went back to Zora hall. Link took his mask off and went back to Clock town. Everything was calmed down, except Anju's roof was still on fire. All the towns' people were around it roasting marshmallows. Link decided to join in.
Evil Cucco: Look! Link is still alive! You failed!
The cucco made an image of Link and the townspeople.
Grog: NO! THEY'RE EATING MARSHMALLOWS WITHOUT ME!
Evil Cucco: THAT'S NOT THE POINT!
So ends another day in Termina.
To be continued…