part 1
~heero~
/He's next to me.. I can tell.. I'd recognize the chestnut brown braid lying across my arm anywhere./ My eyes began to flutter open as I slowly became conscious and some of the events of the night before floated into my mind. /Of course he is next to me../ I remembered that I'd fallen asleep in his arms. I fully opened my eyes and very, very slowly tried to turn my head to look at the boy behind me. /Argh.. why does he have to cling so tightly?/ He was holding me so that I could not even turn my head much. /Oh well, guess I'll just go back to sleep./ I began to drift off again when I heard a small choking noise. A closer listen revealed that it was the sound of quiet sobbing. I tried again to move. I wanted to turn and take him in -my- arms and comfort him, but the more I moved, the tighter he held on to me. It almost seemed he was afraid to let go, even for a minute. I pondered that for a moment, then decided to just let him hold on.
I didn't go to sleep for awhile after that. I just lay awake and listened to him.. to my angel.. until he stopped crying and settled back down, still sniffling a bit, but otherwise okay. Before I slipped off to unconsciousness, I noted that he still hadn't loosened his hold on me.
~duo~
Oh god.. I had those dreams again. I knew that I probably squeezed him to within an inch of his life, but I couldn't help it. Those damn dreams are so realistic.. I can hear everything, see everything.. hell, I can even smell everything. I usually woke up screaming from them, but this time I didn't. I just clung to my only lifeline and hoped that it would see me through it all. I looked down at the disheveled brown mop of hair on top of his head. /You idiot. You can't even begin to know what you mean to me./ I immediately took that thought back. Of course he didn't know; I hadn't told him. /I love you, you know. You may think I am this happy-go-lucky, life-loving guy, but.../ I couldn't even finish the -thought-.. how could I -tell- him? Tears began to form at the corners of my eyes again. I could just imagine it.. I'd tell him. I'd bare my entire soul to him. And what would I get in return? A ''hn'', perhaps accompanied by those prussian blue eyes glaring at me as if to say 'You idiot. Leave me alone.' /I'm so afraid. This is it for me. My last stab at it.. If you don't love me.../ The tears silently fell from my eyes, dampening the pillow and the part of his hair my chin was resting in. I hoped he couldn't feel it. I really didn't want to wake him. At least I didn't make any noise this time.
~heero~
I woke up once more. /He's crying again./ I frowned. I wished he would talk to me instead of keeping it inside. /Am I so intimidating?/ No, that couldn't be it. No matter how I'd ever acted toward him, he'd never been intimidated by me. /Why won't he talk to me, then?/ He'd babble endlessly about any stupid topic, but he wouldn't tell me what made him cry in his sleep. Not that I'd ever asked.. /Maybe I should. Maybe he needs me to ask, rather than just be a sounding board. Maybe he needs to know that I care, and that I'm not just half-listening like I do sometimes./ I finally noticed a slight loosening of his grip on me and I took that opportunity to try to turn. /Ah.. success!/ I managed, just barely, to twist around so that I faced him. I nearly gasped at the beautiful sight I was rewarded with. After I'd turned and settled into a comfortable position, his arms clamped together again, almost like he was afraid I was trying to leave. /I'd never leave you, my angel./ I moved my hand up to lightly caress his boyish face. How lovely he was when he was asleep. It was nearly dawn and the between-night-and-day light was peeking through the window above our heads. The pre-dawn silvery blue seemed to be attracted to his face, and only his face. I gazed at him wondrously as the mouth that never seemed to be closed when he was awake formed a cute little pout as he clutched at me possessively. Just as I'd thought, his illuminated face was shining, wet with tears. I wiped away his tears, then just watched him as he slept.