The next morning found Leia sitting with Jaron and the Royal Advisory Council. Rather, she sat with most of the Council; Marnin and Governor Diseks had pulled their King aside.
Marnin kept his voice low, but he was obviously angry. "Diseks brought a report that you must hear, Your Majesty."
Diseks was calmer, although puzzled by what she had heard. "My people in the government offices inform me that Generals Solo and Calrissian, as well as the Wookiee and their droids, are requesting a great deal of information: financial reports, an inventory of the captured Imperial cache... I have the list here."
Marnin hissed. "Who do these people think they are?"
Jaron's lips thinned into a firm line. "Let's find out." He moved to where Leia sat in conversation with Semay and Pormet. "Your Highness, it seems your companions have started business early this morning." At her quizzical glance, he gave her Diseks' list.
She quickly scanned the contents, and handed it back with a smile. "Normal procedure, Your Majesty," she said pleasantly. "You saw our request for this information yesterday morning."
"We were going to provide it. There was no need to send anyone in your party after it."
Leia kept her tone supportive. "I beg your pardon, I never meant to imply you weren't willing to supply it. I simply hoped to save you and the Council time from gathering the material. Lando tells me he answered all your questions yesterday regarding the current state of the Fleet, and Han's presence isn't necessary to accomplish the great deal of work we have before my afternoon meeting with the Gungans. The most efficient thing to do was to let them gather the rest of the reports as they had time and we don't. I hope you understand."
Jaron tried to find more of an answer in Leia's eyes, but they were guileless. Worse, the rest of the Council regarded him curiously, obviously seeing nothing wrong. Only Marnin seethed, and Marnin had almost caused a huge problem last night. "Yes, of course, when you put it that way. Governor Diseks," Jaron handed her back the list, "make sure your people give the Republic staff their full cooperation."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"And Commander Skywalker?" Marnin asked. "Is he also - gathering reports?"
Leia looked doubtful. "Did you need Luke here, Councilor? I wasn't aware his presence was required."
"No, I don't need to see him. I was only curious about his whereabouts."
"Oh, well that's kind of you, Councilor. Thank you," she replied deftly. "Shall we begin, Your Majesty?"
"One moment, Your Highness." The King gestured to Marnin who leaned in for a private conversation. After a few hushed words - words Leia couldn't hear making her wish she had Chewbacca and his more acute ears with her - the Councilor scurried away, his movements and smile oily. "Now," Jaron turned to her. "As you said, we have a great deal to accomplish."
Luke was seeking solace in the wide vistas around Theed. Having seen so many other worlds - from Dagobah's swamps to his homeworld's deserts and everything in between - he didn't gawk at the beauty of the green plains and hills now surrounding him. But he drank it all in, appreciating the splendor, and enjoying the teeming flow of life surrounding him through the Force. It was rejuvenating.
As he climbed the rise of one hill, that heightened sense of the Force tugged again at him, as it had periodically throughout his stay here. He paused, seeking the source's location, then walked quickly over the hill's crest. As he expected, Faren was sitting on the other side.
She sat quietly, looking over the fields as he had been doing. She was smiling, those unusual, fire gold eyes happily looking around her, her hair lifted by the gentle breezes, pulling at the ties keeping the tresses away from her face. She looked so relaxed, so comfortable in slacks chopped off above the knee, barefoot with her shoes tossed to the side, and the sleeveless red shirt contrasting beautifully with her skin's dusky tones. She was braiding a few flowers in a chain.
He wanted to say something, but didn't. Instead, he basked in the brightness he could feel flowing from her, now before she realized he was there and gave that bleak look to him again. Yesterday, even in the midst of everything that happened, he knew Faren was causing that augmented connection to the Force. He felt it when she was near, and it ended when he left her. He reached out, wondering if she'd sense him in return. Just the thought of finding another potential Jedi excited him.
Come off it, Skywalker, he admonished himself. Your heart's not hammering because of that!
Faren might have sensed something for she straightened; but when one Force sensitive became aware of another, they were each conscious of a connection, and Luke felt none of that return sensitivity. She might have just seen his shadow, or caught him out of the corner of her eye. That didn't make her any less the source for that amplified connection.
She turned around. Despite himself, Luke braced for the inevitable, crashing disappointment. This time, he promised he'd say something about it.
She saw him. "Hello."
No bitter looks, no crushing blows to the ego... polite, even a little friendly. He wasn't a gawky farmboy anymore, so he didn't gape. His heart only picked up its hammering.
"Hi," he replied. She didn't make any moves to chase him away, so he walked up and dropped to the ground next to her. Why not? He had nothing to lose. He gazed in the direction she had, and looked for another safe thing to say. "Enjoying the view?"
She smiled, for real this time. Annoyingly, the heightened senses she somehow caused didn't allow him to cheat and perceive her feelings anymore than usual. "Enjoying having nothing to do. Laziness, thy name is Faren."
He grinned. "So I should leave, right? Otherwise, you'll be doing something - talking to me."
Her smile faded a little, but in thought. She spoke after a beat. "No, don't go. I - should do something. Can't be totally nonproductive."
"Really? That's amazing. I used to be the champ at being nonproductive."
She snorted. "You? You look like you can't sit in one place for too long."
So, she had been watching him. "You think so? Well, maybe, but that didn't mean I got anything done. My uncle had whole lectures on how I spent all my time getting nothing accomplished."
She laughed. "That's parents for you." She choked on her laugh as the words left her mouth, but Luke forced a smile, sad they had already hit their sour point already. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"
He waited, but she didn't seem to know how to say anything more. "It's okay. I know you didn't."
She stared off across the meadow around them, and the silence was uncomfortable. Finally, she spoke again. "Once again, my big mouth gets me into trouble. I'm too blunt for my own good."
"I wouldn't say that." She shook her head, but he went on playfully, "I couldn't say that, because I'm ten times worse."
"You're not blunt." He loved that she had formed all these opinions of him. "I mean look at you, a representative of the Republic. You know how to use words."
"No, that's Leia. She's great with words. I'm the good one for blurting out things. Like Leia would say 'You must be very proud. The baby has such strong features.' and then I'd burst in with 'Good gods, that's an ugly baby!'"
She exploded with laughter, and he grinned so hard, his cheeks hurt. "I doubt you're that bad."
"Fine, don't believe me. By the way, those are really ugly pants. Oops, sorry."
She laughed again, ending it with a mock gasp. "I stand corrected. You could use a haircut, you know. Has anyone told you that?"
"Yeah, but not so bluntly."
She slapped jokingly at his shoulder, and the conversation took another pause. This time, it was enjoyable. They were connecting.
She picked another flower to add to her chain. "Am I keeping you from anything?"
"No, unless you're trying to get rid of me." He held his breath for the answer, and was surprised to see her look shyly at him over the flower.
"No, not at all. I just thought you had to meet with the Gungans today."
"Oh, yeah, that." Reality came crashing back down on him. His blurt announcement to the press, the terrible fight with Leia, and the unending situation between the galaxy and his father's memory. On the heels of being angry with his twin was the guilt that she wasn't the one sulking out here like a five-year-old, and the fevered wish that she'd see it his way. "We're meeting with them this afternoon."
"I just thought you might have to prepare."
"No, Leia takes care of all that. I just have to show up." He saw her frown and realized how bad that sounded. He was representing the Republic, and the Jedi, and he was too busy sulking to do any of the work involved. But he shook that off, peevishly thinking that since Leia didn't like what he had to say, she could do the prep work. Oh, real mature, Skywalker!
Thankfully, Faren said nothing about her own thoughts on that matter. "Princess Leia asked my mother if she wanted to go along."
"Oh yeah?" He wished he could get out of it.
"Well, my mother knows many of them. It'll be good for her to see other familiar faces, and it will help you in dealing with them." She finished her flower wreath. "I'm hoping she'll take me with her."
"You want to go?"
"Of course. I want to see all of Naboo, and I heard so much about the Gungans when I was growing up. And I always enjoy seeing new cultures. It was probably the best part of my mother's job."
Impulsively, he said, "So come with us. Didn't I hear them say Rabé's been training you?"
"Oh, yes." She smiled impishly, and he felt the day get much warmer. "Just in case I wanted to be a handmaiden."
"Do you?"
"In case you haven't noticed," she said dryly, "Naboo has a king now."
"Yeah, I noticed." He grinned without any rancor. He took the comment at face value, despite the fact he could have read his missing mother in those words. "I meant in general. Do you want that kind of life?"
Her brow furrowed in thought. "No, not really. I did once, but I don't have the disposition for it. I can't standby as an advisor as some blowhard mouths off, like my mother does. And if I start telling people what I think, I'll really cause trouble. I can't do what your sister does. I don't know how the princess bites her tongue sometimes."
"She doesn't. She stings you with it." Luke chuckled, proud at his twin's ability to use words and situations to strike back when someone struck at her. Last night was a prime example; but the chuckle died out as all of yesterday reared again in his memory.
But Faren was thinking on her own life. "Before the Empire, we had Cultural Specialists, people of all species who learned the customs of all the different worlds. They became experts in them, and turned their knowledge into input for the protocol droids."
"I never knew that," Luke said.
She grinned at him, teasing. "Where did you think protocol programs came from?"
"I don't know. Is that where the language programs come from too?"
She nodded. "You could do both - culture and language - or specialize in one or the other. I don't think I learn languages fast enough to be a linguist, but I have learned how to study languages for what they reveal about the culture. Like your Wookiee friend. He has multiple words for kill, which probably doesn't surprise anyone, but each word reveals why you killed: was it for honor, or self-defense, or food. The entire Wookiee honor code is revealed in studying one word."
Luke was shaking his head, laughing a bit at himself. "I never took the time to think of any of it, and I can't tell you the number of times I've worked on Threepio."
Faren smiled, excited about discussing what had been so on her mind lately. "You don't have to think about it. It's why you have Threepio, to sort through that information and tell you what you need."
"He does that more for Leia. To tell you the truth, my uncle originally purchased him to speak to our farm systems."
"There's that too. Anyway, when the Empire took over, the Cultural Studies departments were eventually shutdown. Everyone had to conform to the Emperor, and he didn't care how you were different. But now that the Republic is restored, I'm hoping Cultural Studies will be too."
Luke caught the hopeful glance aimed his way. "I think they would be. Honestly, I don't know. It's not my area. But I'll find out," he added hastily. He paused a moment, then asked, "I wonder if Threepio's programming is intact for the Gungans."
"Depends on that memory wipe. But my mother will be there."
"Yeah, but you should definitely come to. It'd be a good experience, and you said you wanted to know more about Naboo."
"I wasn't looking for a handout," she said severely.
"I wasn't giving you one. You're trained for this and I'm not. And Threepio may not know all he needs to."
Her gaze swept his sharply, looking for a hidden agenda. He shrugged. Was he just trying to keep her around him? Hell, yes. He admitted it... to himself. And if he could get her experience in something she'd like to do, then he could be the good guy on top of it.
Faren was wondering what his real motive was, and was guessing it correctly. But he was offering her a good chance. She had been thinking a lot about what she wanted to do, once she was done just visiting Naboo.
But despite her training and good instincts, she wondered if she had enough experience. If she could work with the Republic party - during their visit to the Gungans and anything else she could help with - perhaps Princess Leia would give her a recommendation. Not that she'd take that recommendation if it was only because Luke Skywalker was attracted to her.
But she would get to know him better, see if he was whom she suspected. He had surprised her last night at dinner. Quiet control, total confidence lacking in arrogance, and she had actually cheered for him when he had put Marnin and, yes, the King down for their low comments.
"Thank you," she said finally. She could see Luke was puzzled with her long wait before replying. She turned away, frowning and not bothering to hide it. He was attracted to her; she knew it from the moment he saw her. The answering bolt of chemistry made her feel warm, excited, happy in having an attractive male pay attention to her, and with wanting to respond to it. Then came the cold wash of recognition, of knowing he was Vader's son, and someone she had sworn to hate. Only why had nature pulled such a cruel trick of giving the enemy such a pleasant face?
Like now for instance. The day grew warmer, and Luke must be feeling the heat. He was removing his jacket, and putting it beneath his head as he dropped back on the grass. Was that move deliberate? She had seen other men try to grab her attention by showing off, and Luke could definitely show off. His exposed arms and shoulders bore chiseled muscles. His strong chest, its lines revealed underneath the tank top, tapered into a flat stomach and trim waist. It was a body of a man who not only worked on building his strength, but also had a life that enhanced such workouts. But Faren, who was looking and trying to hide that she was, saw that Luke was innocently unaware of how he looked or his affect on her.
She caught herself and blushed heatedly, hiding her burning face behind her hair as she bent down over her flower wreath again. What was she doing? Staring at him like that? Thinking thoughts like wishing his old fatigue trousers weren't so baggy, wondering what his legs...
Dammit! He wasn't the first attractive man she ever met, wasn't the first one to flirt lightly with her, although he was one of the rare few with no ego about him, unlike his friends Solo and Calrissian. He was honest and open.
And his father murdered mine! What happened to all the promises she swore to herself? All the things she thought of flinging in his face as she flew to Naboo? She'd never meet Vader and was intelligent enough to be thankful for that; her only chance to spew out her long burning anger was the revelation that Vader had a son, one that appeared much like him. Only that son was never what she expected him to be, never what she needed him to be if she was going to place the blame on his shoulders.
Instead she sat here and - admit it - easily flirted in return. No, she wasn't going to forget what she wanted to say. By the Force, people in the palace said he even defended Vader! She couldn't let that go.
She felt guilty though in just blindsiding him, as he idly chewed on a blade of grass and watched the clouds go over ahead. But she had warned him; she was candid, to say the least. "Commander-"
"Luke," he corrected.
Oh, great. Thanks for making it tougher. "Luke... I'm not good at small talk." His eyebrows shot up, but he said nothing. "I want to ask you. Is it true what they say? About how you defend Vader?" He sighed and sat up, pulling the blade of grass apart, examining it. "I can't believe that of anyone whose fought in the Rebellion." She wished he'd say something. Instead, he just sat there and looked... sad? No, tired. Her guilt was getting worse. Then she remembered her mother talking about her father and how Rabé had looked - that faraway look: wistful, tender, hurting - and Faren's guilt lessened. "Vader did things no one could defend."
His answer was simple, matter of fact, almost sounding like he agreed. "Yeah, I know."
"Putting aside what he did mocks the pain his victims went through. It minimizes it, as if their death and torture was something small."
"Yeah, I know."
Again, he wasn't what she wanted. She wanted him to blast out, rant and rave about how wrong she was, so she could scream back. Unsure what to say next, she returned again to looking across the fields of waving tall grass, seas of alternating shades of green as the breeze blew the silky blades back and forth. The sun warmed her skin, chasing out the sudden chill of her bones. Paradise. She had kept the tears out of her voice when she spoke just now, but this beautiful, idyllic scene choked her. It was brand new to her, this view, and it shouldn't be. "This was supposed to be my home. I should have seen this everyday. My parents planned for me to grow up here. And your father robbed me of it."
"Me too," he said softly.
The same wistful heartbreak her mother had, the real loss in his voice spilled a few tears from her. She turned away, not wanting him to see. Who was he? This chameleon that changed whenever she thought she understood him. No, she had never tried to understand him. She was too busy pushing him into the pegged hole she had fitted for him in her mind.
Luke started talking, that faraway sound reaching her. For the first time, she listened to him. "All those stories they told you about your father while you were growing up. Remember them?"
"Yes," she whispered.
"Do you remember how you ached to hear them, over and over? How you pictured him in your mind and dreamed up talks you'd have with him, or places you'd go together. Or how, when nobody else understood you, you thought he would?"
She could only nod. As close as she was to her mother, she thought of those tormenting years of adolescence when she'd rebel and swear her father would understand if he had lived.
"You wondered what he'd think of you," Luke continued. "You imagined him saying how proud he was of you, that you grew up into everything he wanted you to be."
She nodded again. All those milestones her father missed, all the times she imagined what it'd be like if he could be there...
"And then they suddenly tell you, that man, that hero you always imagined, is not your father. The Emperor is. How do you feel?"
Her heart froze in her chest. "Oh, Goddess."
"Now, go past that. You face him, demand to know why he did all those things. And you can't believe it, but he doesn't kill you. In fact, he saves your life, and dies for you. And as he dies, he says that he is proud of you. That you did everything he wished he had done with his life, if he hadn't been so weak to make the wrong choices a long time ago. Now, how do you feel?"
She swallowed against the lump in her throat, and saw with such bitter sweetness that Luke was doing the same. "I don't know," she whispered.
He nodded, understanding. "Think about it."
They sat there, side by side, thoughts turned inward. Faren finally shook her head. "I don't know what I would do, but I understand what you're saying to me. Is that why you made that statement to the media yesterday?"
"I didn't know you heard that."
Her voice was hoarse. "Everyone did." She remembered Pormet's gasp and her mother's stricken look, how Marnin had looked so smug and began extolling how he knew Skywalker's Imperial leanings all along while the rest of the Council frowned and shook their heads.
Luke hung his head, perhaps sensing her mood. "Yeah, that's why I said it." He suddenly flung the grass blade far from him. "Nobody remembers Anakin Skywalker, not even here when he saved the whole planet! Why is that so much to ask for?"
"Because some of us never knew him." Now that she was speaking about Vader, her tone became flat. She did understand Luke's need to believe in a father, but couldn't fathom his inability to see anyone else's point of view. "The ones who did know him, saw him betray everyone who ever trusted him. And you want us all to believe that somewhere under Vader was this great guy named Anakin Skywalker, as if one had nothing to do with the other. It's a lot to ask us to believe."
"It's the truth!"
"Okay, if you say so," she snapped. "Did you know Amidala asked for the vote against Chancellor Valeron, the vote that gave Palpatine his great opportunity to take over the Senate? And the vote was resoundingly in favor of Palpatine becoming Chancellor. People described him as a true leader: dynamic, caring, decisive, and unselfish. Does that change your opinion of him?"
"That's different!" Luke said defensively.
"Is it?"
"Yes! Palpatine was playing whatever part he had to so he could take over the galaxy. It's a lot different than a man, a Jedi, who was seduced into thinking he was making the right choices until it was too late to go back. But even then, when the moment called for it, he did go back."
"The years have been filled with moments like that! He should have stopped being Vader a long time ago, like five minutes after he first became a Sith."
"Look, I get it, okay? When I have said that Vader wasn't wrong? When did I ever say I expected everyone to forgive Vader for what he did?"
"All the time, Luke. That's all you've said."
"No, no!" He leapt to his feet, pacing feverishly as he passionately tried to reach her. "What I said was that my father existed, and that he wasn't Vader! That Anakin Skywalker was a man who loved my mother, and died for his son, and suffered under the monster that he released! And that he hated Vader as much as anyone, more than anyone because Vader was his fault. And maybe that's why he couldn't get rid of Vader all those years because he hated him, and that hate only fed Vader! And maybe the reason he could turn back in the end was because he finally felt something more than hate, something stronger than hate. He loved me! He did! I could see it as he died, no matter how I held him, tried to keep him here, he died right there as I held him, and he loved me."
Faren cried silent tears as Luke finally ranted at her, the crazed, pained words spilling out of him in an uncontrollable flow. You poor man, you poor tormented man. Luke stared at her, breathing hard from emotion, and misunderstood her tears. His world was spinning out of control, Faren could see that. What she didn't know about was his fight with Leia, and how it cost more than he consciously knew. Without his twin's utter faith that she always had for him, the strength she always gave him, his foundation was gone. So he clutched harder at his father's memory, the one thing that caused the problem. Someone had to listen, and if not Leia, who? No one else was in the same situation they were in, but he needed someone to listen.
In near despair, he reached out and yanked Faren to her feet, clutching her arms as they stood a breath apart. This woman, the most unlikely person to ever listen to him, almost understood. He had almost reached her a moment ago.
He said to her in a ragged whisper. "Please listen."
"I am. Believe me." He was oh so close, his eyes now a stormy blue. She hurt for him, and for herself, and for everyone caught in the pain caused by Anakin Skywalker becoming Vader. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her cheek as she broke away from his gaze, unable to stand its intensity. "Now, will you do me a favor and listen to me?" He nodded. "You should have said what you just told me from the beginning." She stopped him from interrupting. "You might think you have, but it's not coming across that way. What you just said made a huge difference. I see exactly what you're trying to say. That's the leap of faith I've made, and it's a large one. Now you have to give everyone else the same open mind that you're asking from them." She took a deep breath, as affected by his presence as by the pain she imagined he'd feel from what she was about to say. "You have to accept something: no one may ever completely believe you. Luke, please." She placed her fingers against his lips, silencing him. His eyes grew wide with surprise, but he stayed still, neither taking advantage nor acting like she hadn't done it. She appreciated it, as shocked as him, even more, that she had done it. This intensely alive moment had brought down both their walls. "You were the only one there when he died, so you're the only one who saw him at that moment. The rest of us don't have that advantage." She took a step back; she needed the space, and he let her go. "A few moments ago you asked me how would I feel if someone told me that the Emperor was my father. How did you feel?"
He shook his head. "How do you explain something like that? It's, it's... devastating."
"And Princess Leia must feel the same." He looked at her, startled. "Maybe even more so. Well, maybe not more, but it had to really hurt. She had a father. She didn't need this in her life. How long did it take you to accept it?"
"Months," he said softly.
"Then she's still going through it." He rubbed his eyes even as he nodded. Something was obviously bothering him, something besides what he had just said. All her training in reading people told her it was the thought of his sister still struggling as he had. She remembered the media conference yesterday, how relieved most people had been when the princess stepped forward after her brother's disastrous statement. And then she remembered both twins stalking past her in the corridor, utterly enraged at each other no matter how well they hid it. It looks like I just found the sore spot. I was wrong before. You're not the only one tormented. "At least you have each other to get through this."
"Yeah." But he wasn't looking at her when he said it, and his voice was uncertain. He sighed, deeply. "I'm sorry I dumped all this on you."
"No, I'm glad you did. It helped me to see some things."
His eyes swiftly lifted up to hers. "Some?"
It was her turn to sigh. "Luke, I just told you. My leap of faith is beginning to understand you and believing any of it. But I do believe you. That has to count for something."
He looked disappointed at first, but when he finally looked back to her again, he was smiling; a tired smile, but he was beginning to open his mind as well. "You're right. The fact that you could talk to me about this, and then actually trust anything I said, counts for a lot. Thanks."
"You're welcome." And then she returned his smile, a fellow survivor of a draining experience.
He grinned back. "You were right about something else. You don't do small talk."
She laughed, relieved to be talking about something light again, and sorry that she couldn't continue it. "With that thought in mind " He groaned. "You have to tell everyone what you just told me. You won't have peace until you do."
"Who says I'll have peace after it?"
"No promises. But you shouldn't go on being misunderstood. If someone's going to hate what you said, at least let them hate the right words."
He glanced mockingly from the corner of his eye. "And that makes sense to you?"
"Yes, because I hate games, remember? I'd want someone to be clear on why we disagreed, but that's me." Luke stared off in the distance, thinking. She waited a moment before saying delicately, "Do you really want to leave yesterday alone?"
He exhaled noisily. "No. But look at how I told you. No one's going to listen to me. I'll get all crazed or say the wrong thing again."
"You'd have to do it professionally, that's true."
"And I already said I'm not good at that." He said casually, "Maybe you could help me."
She chuckled. "I'm the blunt one, remember? I'm no help." She then copied his feigned attitude. "But you do know someone who's very good at it. Princess Leia is the best one to ask for help."
His jaw tightened, not in anger but still unwilling to discuss what must have happened. She grinned at the irony. He couldn't stop talking about the problem with his father, but wouldn't speak a word about an argument with his sister. He finally said, "No, if I do this - and yeah, I know I have to - I want to do this for her too. Let her know she doesn't have to bail her brother out whenever he opens his mouth."
"I wouldn't go that far. You managed to make me understand what you meant. After all, Amidala was your mother too; some of her ability has to be in you. You just don't have your sister's training."
"Maybe." He forced another smile. "Just remember you said that when you're running madly for a speeder from a Gungan charge because I blurted out the wrong thing."
"Deal. Then you're going to do it this afternoon?"
"Yeah. It'll be the next public appearance after yesterday, so it's better to not let that memory sit. Like you said. It also means I don't have a lot of time left. I should get to work." He rose to his feet, and then stopped to look down at her. "Faren thank you."
She suddenly felt shy. "You're welcome. I'm sorry to drag you through it."
"Someone had to." He reached down for her hand, and Faren thought he'd kiss it. But she saw he thought better of it; such a smooth gesture fitted his friend Lando better, but mocked the man he was. Instead, he gave it a gentle squeeze, and left her alone with a head of broiling thoughts.
She wrapped her arms around herself, and looked over the quiet plains. She felt strangely at peace. Luke was so much more than she ever thought he could be, with complexities no one gave him credit for. He wasn't just a mysterious Jedi, or Rebel soldier, or Vader's son. He was innocent farmboy, hardened pilot, wise Jedi, mature man, struggling orphan child, at once older than his years, and then crashing back to them. He was gentle, charming, fun, strong, and-
And his father killed mine.
She stayed, going back and forth, and unable to find any answer. She finally stood, firmly telling herself she didn't have to make any decision right now. She started walking back to the palace, remembering Luke had said he didn't expect anyone to forgive Vader for what he did. Perhaps it was enough to no longer blame Luke himself, especially as she may never see him again once he left Naboo. That thought more than anything made her put the whole matter resolutely aside until she needed to do anything more.
She still was absorbed in her own thoughts when she reached the palace, so her mother's voice completely startled her.
"What was all that?"
Faren blinked at her rapidly, trying to catch up to the here and now. "What was what?" Realization sunk in. "Oh. It was just talk."
"Really? It looked like more."
Faren scowled. "What is this? I can't take care of myself?"
Rabé frowned in return, her voice tightly controlled. "I have a right to be concerned. This family has been hurt enough, and I know him better than you."
"Him or his father?"
Rabé pinned her down. "Weren't you the one making the argument louder than anyone? And now you're changing your mind? Why? Because of a conversation where you found out how nice he was, how charming and friendly? Do you think you're the first one captivated by a Skywalker? What makes you immune where Amidala wasn't?"
The thought chilled Faren. No one would ever want to repeat Amidala's life. "Weren't you the one," she managed to say, "who told me you saw things in him that surprised you? You were rethinking your own opinion of him-"
"That doesn't mean I want my daughter around him."
Faren smiled. "Mama, that's a very old argument."
Rabé, however, was not joking. "I'm making it all the same." She saw something of Faren's own conflict, despite what her daughter was saying. It melted some of her unyielding resentment. She brushed a stray lock of hair away from those golden eyes, eyes inherited from her husband. "I know another old argument. The more I say No, the more you're going to plunge ahead. So I'll only say this: be very careful, Faren. This is not any other man or any sort of a regular situation."
Faren hugged her. "Promise. And you're really making more of this than it is. Really, he just needed to talk to someone."
Rabé almost asked why he couldn't have talked to his family when she remembered that scene in the hall yesterday. "Leave it at that."
"I might. Mother, don't! I only know I can't stay close minded. You said you found Princess Leia takes after her father more than you thought."
The icy grip of sudden fear seized the former handmaiden. "That doesn't help your argument."
Faren wanted to roll her eyes, and had the odd thought that her mother wanted to do the same. "I only mean that it's time we start looking at them for themselves, and not who their parents were. They deserve that."
Rabé watched her, gauging how much of this was an honest decision and how much was attraction to Luke. She finally nodded. "Agreed." She brushed her hand against Faren's cheek once more. "I'll keep that in mind this afternoon when they meet the Gungans. I had better get ready."
Faren started walking to their quarters. "Yes, we should."
Rabé frowned. "We?"