He all but ran away from me. I felt so stupid. /Dammit! I should have known.../ I turned over, away from the bathroom, which I was facing. I didn't even want to see him when he came out. Shortly I heard the shower running. /Trying to totally get rid of me, then?/ I knew that was an irrational thought, he took a shower -every- morning... I couldn't stop it though, it was how I felt. Argh! He looked at me before he left.. I don't know why, but he almost immediately turned and left the bed.
/I'll just go back to sleep. That way I don't even have to know he's here./ I nearly cried again, but this time I was consciously aware of it. And able to stop it. /Boys don't cry.../ I reminded myself of that one fact. I waited until the wave passed over me, then closed my eyes. Immediately I was bombarded with images of him. The last one I saw before I drifted off was also the last thing I saw the night before, just before I'd fallen asleep with him in my arms. /What a beautiful smile... my love./
~heero~
As the water splashed over me, everything I could remember about the night floated through my mind. As far as I could recall, he'd wanted me there with him. I remembered smiling at him as he fell asleep. If he hadn't wanted me, would I have even been there in the first place? I leaned against the wall directly under the showerhead. /Why did you cling to me so tightly if you only wanted me to go?/ I hit the wall with a fist. /Damn you, Duo! How dare you give me such hope, only to yank it away?/ I sat down on the floor, entirely engulfed in the water now, and I suddenly felt a pain I hadn't noticed before. I remained sitting there, evaluating this new pain. /Did we... did something.. happen?/ Suddenly I remembered and became very angry then. /Duo! How could you? Is that why I was there, then? Is that all you wanted from me?/ My cheeks became very hot as I pounded at the floor with my fists until they turned red and began to bleed. /I hate you! I hate you!/
~duo~
Well.. I couldn't stay asleep for long. Not knowing that he was still there, anyway. Turning slightly, I noted that the door was still shut and I still heard the water running. /Wow.. I know I wasn't asleep for long, but I know your showers are usually over by now. Was my 'irrational thought' right, then?/ I got out of bed and realised that I was still a bit sticky. Some little, weird part of me didn't want to wipe it off.. It seemed to be all I had left of him. All I had to remember that at one time I believed that he loved me, at least a little bit. /Heero.../ I found a little bit of paper next to the bed and cleaned myself off, then I got dressed, following the trail of clothes in reverse.. leading me to the door. I smoothed my hair out with my hands, a true exercise in futility. I didn't want to walk back into that room. I wanted to leave as quickly as possible, so I grabbed a brush off the end of the desk next to the door and exited the room. I pulled my key out of the pocket it was in and locked the door. /Oh Heero../ I plastered a smile on my face, then hopped down the stairs that led to the first floor of the apartment building. Opening the mailbox there, the smile dropped from my face for a second, then I quickly replaced it. There was a letter there. From Relena. /Will that make you happy, then?/ There were a few other things there for Heero, but as I didn't want to go back to that room, I decided to just leave them there for him to pick up later. I greeted a few neighbours who'd also come to check their mail, then skipped out the front door.
~heero~
I thought I heard the door, so I turned off the shower. Wrapping a towel around me, I sullenly left the shower and peeked into the room. Sure enough, he was gone. /Good../
I made my way through the junk that covered his part of the room to my bed, noting my clothes on the floor in a little trail that led from the door to Duo's bed. Reluctantly I walked over and pulled back the bedspread.. searching for a confirmation, I guess, of what I thought happened. My hand rose to my mouth as I located the little white patches, that almost still looked wet and sticky, nearly covering the underlying sheet. I threw the bedspread back down and sat on my bed, my mind racing. /Hn.. so I was right. And you could still leave me?/ After awhile of deep thinking, I got up and went to the closet. I picked out a white tee-shirt and a pair of jeans and got dressed. Then I went to the door and picked up the little path of clothes. /So I truly mean nothing to you, Duo? Just a toy, huh?/ Sighing as I dumped the clothes into the basket near my desk, I began to remember more of what had happened that night. /You said you loved me... You didn't think I heard you, but I did. Was that a lie, Duo?/ I sat at my desk, studying my laptop and ignoring the pain as much as I could. I absentmindedly noted that Duo had just picked up the black tee-shirt and pants he'd had on last night and worn those out. /Were you in that much of a hurry to leave then?/ The phone rang. /No one has this number, it's probably a misdial then../ I ignored the phone and went back to studying the black and green screen in front of me.