"Where's the kid?" Han asked. He was standing with everyone else before Leia and Luke left for their appointment with the Gungans. Leia was putting in her ear comm, and frowned at his question.
"I haven't seen him. Threepio," she deliberately changed the subject. "Try that new silent comm chip. Let's see how it works." She pressed her fingers against her ear unit while Threepio tilted his head and seemed not to respond. She nodded after a moment. "Perfect. I hear you clearly, but no one else can. That should avoid any problems like we had in court the other day."
"Luke's still comin', right?" Han went on stubbornly. "He knows how important this is."
She took a deep breath and conceded. She had promised she was going to be better about this. "Yes, he does, and I'm sure he's coming. You said you found something in your investigations."
"Definitely. I gotta say, sweetheart, we haven't had that much fun hassling people in a while. And Lando charmed so many women, he won't be lonely for a long time. I, of course, was utterly faithful to you." He gave her his best innocent look.
"Please, before I'm ill, what did you find?"
Lando started to say he wanted to wait for Luke, see if he got the same impression they did. But that sounded like too touchy a thing to say, and Leia had her own Force skills anyway. Let her be the one to tell Luke. "Pretty much what you expected. He's got a stockpile of Imperial weapons that he supposedly turned into the Republic. The inventory clearly shows them leaving Naboo, but they're conveniently missing from the shipping orders to us. Very fancy accounting work there. If I hadn't pulled that trick a few times myself, I might have missed it."
Leia looked back and forth between the men. "You obviously want to say 'But I don't believe it'."
Chewbacca roared approval, and Han nodded. "We don't. It's too easy, even with the fancy accounting. We found this out in a day? Come on. It's a smugglers bluff. People are looking for something, so you leave them something to find. Meanwhile, the real stuff is still hidden."
"Usually," Lando added, "right behind the things you found. You don't want to take a chance that whoever's searching you finds the real cache before the fake. Jaron's not the type to try to overthrow the Republic to make himself Emperor. What does he need a stockpile of weapons for? It's got to be a fake."
Leia frowned in concentration. "It doesn't have to be, but it's a good possibility. How much danger are we in of tipping our hand?"
Lando smiled at the gambler jargon. "Not much. I know they're not on to us yet. We were real careful not to show anything when we found the error in inventory. And we barely saw the weapons. There's security cameras all over so we left."
"Then how-"
Chewie growled, and Solo frowned with affronted pride. "Yeah, he's right. What do we look like? Amateurs? We can get past those cameras."
Leia was still frowning, but her eyes twinkled. "Weren't you the one on the Death Star who, when Luke was getting me from my cell, completely fell apart-"
Now Han growled. "That was different. Look, these cameras are an old style. I got rig on the Falcon that'll keep the view clean while we walk by. We can do this."
She wondered if there was an unspoken message in his words: I know my job. Don't turn me back into a glorified bodyguard. She couldn't afford to warn Jaron or hurt their cause here. But Han knew that as well as she did. "Sounds like you have a plan. So you're going to look into this while I'm with the Gungans."
"Lando and I are. Chewie's going with you," Han said.
"Don't you think the three of you are needed?"
"And leave you with no security? No way, Princess."
She exchanged glances with the Wookiee who subtly shook his head. Like she thought, Han was going into the greater danger and was understating it for her benefit. "The Gungans are a diplomatic stop, and I'll have Luke." She said that automatically, and then almost winced on the words. "Besides, I'm not helpless."
"No one who knows you would ever think you were," Lando said gallantly, which earned him a sour look from Han. Leia knew the Corellian was now stuck between insisting she take Chewie with her, and thereby looking like he didn't think she could handle whatever happened, or trusting her and worrying all day if she was okay. Luke spared whatever argument might have happened by walking in the door. He looked around at everybody, nothing apparently wrong, but she saw it was done too deliberately, especially when he turned to her.
"Everything ready?" he asked.
Han sighed loudly. He was giving in, but wanted her to know it. "Just about. Rabé's coming, right?"
"And Faren," Luke added hastily. Before anyone could question him, he said, "She's a cultural specialist, one of the people who develop protocol programming for droids. I didn't know if Threepio had everything about the Gungans."
"Indeed, I do not, Master Luke." Leia saw Luke mouth a silent thank you to the oblivious droid. "What I might have known was erased with the other parts of my memory." That was said with a lot of regret. "And the Naboo did not have a full cultural spec for me to upgrade my programming. I was hoping Lady Rabé would help explain anything I may not know."
"So then with Faren coming, we have it covered," Luke finished, obviously pleased with himself. But no one in the room was fooled, and the other men weren't going to let it go without saying something. Amidst a chorus "That Luke, always thinking of the mission" and "I know it kills you letting her come along, buddy, but way to go", Chewbacca just kept laughing. Leia turned away and smiled, enjoying hearing the men roughhouse. She wasn't really concerned; that Luke was attracted to Faren was obvious. Good. It was about time someone caught her brother's eye. And if she judged Faren correctly, she wouldn't be coming to this meeting if she couldn't do the job Luke attested to. Faren wasn't the type to play such games.
She finally interrupted the good natured teasing Luke was happily taking. "Where are we meeting them?"
"They're coming here." The words weren't out of his mouth when he felt the heightened sensitivity to the Force once more. Faren was outside the doors. Leia blinked as she felt it herself. Luke noticed. "Um, yeah. We have to talk about that."
He didn't mean anything else by it, but she heard it nevertheless. "Yes, we do." He started to reply, but ended up just nodding. She sighed to herself, relieved. She could sense him so vividly once more, all bright warmth and strength. As she relaxed, she felt his own relief but missed everyone else's.
Rabé and Faren walked in, the former dressed once more in a deep purple robe once favored by the Queen's handmaidens, while her daughter wore a long, maroon tunic over matching colored pants. Leia remembered seeing similar clothes in a holovid of her mother meeting the Gungans. She was about to ask when Rabé anticipated her. "To remind the Gungans of better days when Queen Amidala and Boss Nass first made peace between our two races. And the clothes are close enough to Naboo's regular styles that it's not unusual for Faren to wear them."
Before either woman could say more, Faren spoke. "Your Highness, I found a language upgrade for your protocol droid. If you don't mind?" Naturally, Leia shook her head, and Faren motioned Threepio over to the room's computer station.
"Where did you get it? Threepio was just telling me he couldn't find anything."
"I took a copy of all our records with me," Rabé answered. "We all did when we left Naboo." Her jaw grew tight. It was obvious to everyone that none of the other handmaidens were alive to return to their homeworld. "The language program was amongst the other files, but the cultural records are notes at best."
Faren said from her place next to the droids, "I'll put something together for protocol upload later."
"Thanks," Luke said, starting to move over to her.
Rabé held out a hand, stopping him. "We need to discuss a few things before we leave." For a second, Leia wondered if her brother had ever seen that look of a protective parent directed at him before. The former handmaiden obviously knew of the attraction between Luke and Faren, and wasn't comfortable with it.
But that was blown away by the sight of a blaster strapped to Rabé's forearm. The princess knew an explosion was about to come from Han. "Expecting trouble?" Solo said, taut.
Both daughter and mother turned, frowning at his surprise. "No, not really," Rabé answered. "But as you know, the Gungans are warriors, and it was standard for us to carry a blaster when we met races who tended to carry their own. I guess old habits die hard," she smiled.
Han's short temper flared. "Warriors? Chewie's going with you!" he ordered Leia. Naturally, she flared back, but Faren, still looking over Threepio's shoulder at what notes she had, didn't see them.
"Warrior is perhaps too strong a term," she muttered. "They're a strong people and they're not afraid to fight, but they're not like the warrior people you're thinking of. They're not looking for trouble or trying to cause harm anymore than your Wookiee friend there."
Rabé watched the staring match between Corellian general and Alderaani princess. If she hadn't caused it, she might have enjoyed this battle of wills. Everyone probably would if they didn't suddenly have concerns over the Gungans. She walked in between Solo and Leia. "If I thought there was any danger, and I would know better than anyone else here, do you really think I'd bring my daughter in the middle of it?"
That settled it. Luke already had his lightsaber, but Leia strapped her own wrist blaster under her wide dress sleeves, and after a moment's hesitation, clipped on the lightsaber Luke had given her. It'd be the last thing she reached for having only had minimal training with it. As they moved to the landspeeder, she pretended not to notice as Han slipped a homing beacon on Artoo while strapping the droids in a carrier.
Rabé and Faren, seated in the rear of the speeder, told them more of what to expect. Leia sensed Luke's desire to be next to Faren, and, if she wasn't reading the other woman wrong, she was sure the desire was mutual. She savored the feeling of having Luke's presence flowing to her again, no matter where his focus was. One thing their fight had shown her, she relied heavily on Luke. When did I start taking him for granted? she wondered, and the answer came quickly. When I knew I could, when he did the same with me.
They exited the speeder at the edge of the Gungan swamp, and Faren moved casually to Luke's other side as he took his place on Leia's right. The princess smiled to herself, especially when she saw Rabé's own lips twisting ruefully. The older woman moved next to Leia's left. "Those," she said for the sake of conversation, "are Gungans."
Luke and Leia studied the two creatures as they left their underwater craft. Even if she knew nothing about them, the webbing in their fingers and toes, their bulbous eyes and billed mouths, all spoke of an amphibious race. The tall creatures towered over Leia and Luke, and the electropoles they carried were intimidating. But Leia didn't need Luke's reassurance that these people meant no harm. They were cautious, yes, but that was all.
"Yousa comen to see Boss Tarpals?" the one on the left spoke.
Fortunately, they knew of the broken form of Basic the Gungans spoke. Nevertheless, Leia was thankful for the comm unit connecting her to Threepio in case she got into trouble. To think she had worried about their native language. "Yes, we are. Boss Tarpals honors us by inviting us to your city."
"Hesa liken it too." The Gungans gestured for the Republic party to separate, one group per - as Threepio told Leia - bongo. Thankfully, none of the Republic party was expected to swim to the Gungan city. Their escorts left no doubt that they wanted she and Luke, as the official representatives, to travel in the first craft. The rest of the party was seated in the second, and Faren made some comment to her mother that made the older woman grin innocently.
It amazed both the princess and Skywalker how quickly the water deepened, and how quickly it grew dark. Leia heard Luke mutter, "A desert boy like me under so much water." She grinned widely, and started to nudge him playfully only to think better of it. But something must have passed to her twin because he turned to her with a wink, making her wish she hadn't stopped herself. That was forgotten at the site through the front viewport. "By the Force," she breathed causing Luke to spin around.
She grew up surrounded by Alderaan's beauty. She had seen splendor on many worlds, but this water world was outside of her experience. Even her work with the Mon Calamari did not allow for this as Ackbar's people had vastly different design principles.
In the darkness glimmered a city of bright domes, its simple sophistication stunning her. She could make out figures swimming from one hub to another, and inside even more figures moved in the light.
"Yousa liken dis?" their pilot asked.
"Who wouldn't?" Luke answered.
Leia agreed. "Your city is beautiful."
"Mesa show'n yousa more den," the Gungan said, pleased and proud. The bongo swerved gracefully, arcing around the city, catching its entire splendor before docking. The ship passed through a portal of compacted water, with a consistency of a gel as they saw from the portals, that somehow kept the depths at bay. Ackbar would love this place, Leia mused, wishing she had thought of bringing him here. If all went well, she must make sure he had a chance to come.
As she stepped from the bongo, Luke stopped by the pilot. "Thanks," he said, clapping the Gungan on the shoulder, "for taking us around for the longer view."
The pilot looked down at the human hand touching him, and at the beaming, sincere face. Suddenly, he beamed back. "Yousa welcome'n."
Leia felt she was gawking like a tourist when Rabé came up next to her. She didn't even see the concerned look on the older woman's face. "The city is so deserted," Rabé noted, making Leia take in what she thought was the usual population. "Did they lose that many to the Emperor? Or-"
Leia waited, but when the handmaiden said no more, she prompted her. "Or?"
"Or don't they trust us and they've hidden the rest of their people? Right now, I'm not sure, Your Highness, which is the correct answer. Before your mother, the Naboo and the Gungans had no love for each other. With her gone, our truce may have been broken. On the other hand, Palpatine never forgave the Gungans for their allegiance to Amidala that caused the Trade Federation to be forced off the planet. We'll have to wait and see."
Their honor guard led them to the Bosses where Boss Tarpals sat in the honored seat where Boss Nass once governed. Rabé quickly pulled back her hood so the Gungan former captain could see her. He nodded in recognition, but quickly returned to staring at Leia. She could feel all their eyes on her, and the baited silence in the room was a weight on her shoulders. Rabé had told her how Amidala, when faced with the Gungans steadfast refusal, had dropped to her knees in a show of respect and supplication. Leia knew she could not do the same. She was not here begging for help; she represented the Republic and was responding to an invitation. But she needed something to show the same respect her mother had.
She stepped forward to the farthermost end of the circle facing the Bosses, and felt with relief Luke moving easily with her, stride for stride. He was all calm and peace, and before she could articulate it, he unclipped his lightsaber and laid it on the floor. She placed her own saber and blaster down as well, and straightened with her brother, their moves almost in tandem. "Friends do not need weapons when greeting each other," she said formally.
Tarpals finally spoke. "And are'n wesa friends?"
"We are here to renew the friendship you once had with the Republic. I hope we can be friends, yes."
The Gungan said nothing for a moment, then rose to his feet, addressing them as if the entire Republic stood before him. "Wesa once'n friends. When da Mackineeks attacken de Gungans, Amidoll comen from de Naboo and bringen friends. Wesa fought and die'n together, and den wesa bein together on dis world."
"But den, one of da Naboo bein Emperor! And wesa die'n for bein Amidoll's friend. Die'n by Amidoll's husband, oursa friend Ani. Wesa notso peace den."
In the pause he deliberately left, Leia spoke. "No one was. Like you, we've only known pain and death."
"Now yousa comen," he continued. "Amidoll's child'n. Wesa heard of yoursa pain, yoursa family die'n, and yousa fighten back." He paused again, but no one said anything this time. The moment stretched, taut with tense waiting before Tarpals looked to the other bosses. "And so, wesa tell the child'n of Amidoll that wesa no forget da promise that wesa bein friends. Dat no Emperor and no Ani stop des."
The Republic party had no time to relax before his voice reverberated again in the chamber. "But! Wesa speak plain. Yousa not," Tarpals made a gesture that Luke recognized: the hand motion for invocation of a Jedi's suggestion to another's mind. He nodded solemnly and folded his hands behind his back. Leia quickly followed suit as Tarpals gaze touched on her and her saber. Another pause, this one quicker, and Tarpals threw his head back in a laugh, not as booming as old Nass, but still hearty, and the twins smiled in return.
"We liken each other. Okeday, wesa talk 'bout be'n friends."
The talk went on for some time. Talk on how many of the Gungans had been enslaved, and how no one knew if they were still lost or dead. Discussions on how they needed supplies temporarily while they finished their city to which they had just returned. And speeches on how the Gungans wanted a representative of their own in the Senate, separate from whomever King Jaron chose for the Naboo. At one point, Luke started to sit when Faren hurriedly leaned forward, whispering something to him. He straightened, bowing to Tarpals, waiting for the Gungan Boss to take his seat before Skywalker took his.
It was much later when the bongos surfaced, once again depositing the Republic party on solid land. Leia finished her conversation with Threepio. "And contact Ackbar right way, see if he can get any leads on the Gungans Palpatine took for the slave trade. If Ackbar can't come here himself, tell him to get a Mon Calamari delegation right away. And let him know I'm willing to accompany them when they contact Boss Tarpals. I think this is a really good relationship here."
Luke started to reach for her, but Leia was focused on the business at hand, excited by the success she had, more than anything Naboo's King had given her. She didn't see Luke's gesture as she hurried over to the other bongo. "Rabé, I need to speak with you."
Out of reflex, the former handmaiden automatically moved aside from everyone, ensuring privacy between she and the princess. "Was it just my impression," Leia began, "or did the Gungans not trust King Jaron?"
Rabé hesitated, considering. "No, I had the same impression. But I'm not sure if it was just the King or if their prejudice against the Naboo had returned. Jaron certainly is the type the Gungans dislike. He'd give off the impression that he was above them, what the Gungans call 'tinken der head is so big'."
Leia liked that. "Nice description." She weighed what she was about to say. The older woman was her only source for so much information, the only one who could tell her personal details about Amidala. She didn't want to lose that. "Have you given any more thought to what we discussed last night? As I said then, I know Jaron is your King-"
"If he's guilty of anything you suspect, or what you wonder the Gungans suspect, he is not my King," Rabé answered firmly. "You asked about his comment regarding the northern tunnels. You've probably guessed why I was upset. We, the handmaidens and our families, went by that route."
"And my mother carrying Luke and I," Leia added quietly.
But Rabé shook her head. "No, Amidala and Obi-Wan left another way. The plan was for us leave by the northern escape then have Obi-Wan and the Queen take a passageway, and the rest of us continue to the cavern where our ships were hidden. No one else was cleared for that route. If Jaron took the northern tunnels, he disobeyed Captain Panaka."
"Did you see Jaron?"
"No, and we were all keeping close watch as you can imagine. I don't know how Jaron escaped. Panaka and the guard divided everyone, and we weren't to know each other routes, especially the Queen's. If we were captured, we couldn't tell on any of the others."
"So all of this could be nothing. Jaron may have escaped by the eastern exit as he said."
"Or - I keep saying 'or' today." Rabé sighed. "The Imperial attack hit us suddenly. If you saw the northern tunnels, you'd see how many false leads there are. It's a maze, and you can't stumble upon the right path. I always assumed Ana - Vader sensed us."
Leia shook her head. "If he sensed anyone, it would have been Obi-Wan or my mother. He'd have gone after them. So it looks like somebody might have told them where you were."
"Jaron?" Rabé swallowed hard. "And then didn't have the courage to join the attack."
"If it was him or anyone," Leia cautioned. "We don't know yet." She sighed. "There's something else - something personal - I'd like to ask. We, Luke and I, always thought Vader didn't know my mother was pregnant. Then why were you used as a decoy?"
"Because we didn't know, not for certain. Amidala hid the pregnancy, but we didn't know if Vader or Palpatine had discovered it. So to be safe, Sabé, who wasn't pregnant, was a decoy and so was I. Sabé is was closer in coloring and size, but I was made passable."
Leia sagged a bit as she imagined the scene. "What a nightmare."
The other woman nodded, heartbroken as she remembered the final moments of seeing her friends and her husband. "Yes. But it's ending now."
The princess looked up, saddened, and feeling a touch of guilt for all this woman suffered. For a distressing moment, she wanted to forget being a leader and princess, and bury herself in this woman's arms as she might have done with her mother either of her mothers. Rabé must have seen it, because her eyes grew bright with a few unshed tears even as her mouth drew back in a smile. She cupped Leia's cheek, and comforted the daughter of an old friend, sharing a moment with another woman who knew what it meant to lose everything.
The sounds of the media drawing close ended it. Rabé pulled away and Leia straightened. She didn't need to thank her mother's friend, but she wanted to, only the moment was gone when she saw Rabé frown. She turned and saw that the journalists weren't sitting idly waiting for her. Threepio was introducing Luke and the holocams were already filming. Leia wanted to run, to push herself between her brother and another disaster such as yesterday's, but if she did that, it'd only make the matter worse. She hurried as much as she could and signaled the protocol droid through her ear comm. "Threepio, announce to the media that I'll speak with them. Luke isn't prepared to make a statement."
"Actually, Mistress, he is. In fact, he insisted, although I'm sure there will be plenty of questions for you."
"Threepio," she hissed. "Get those -" It was too late. Luke was already speaking. She kept going anyway, thinking she could interrupt smoothly, thanking him for beginning her statement for her. She might have made it if she hadn't bumped into Faren. Those few lost seconds were the difference between getting there in time and creating her own disaster if she interrupted now. She forced a smile, knowing the holocams were on her now, and prayed like she hadn't since the end of the war.
She never saw Rabé grab her daughter aside, or heard her harsh words. "That was deliberate. You stopped the princess from reaching the media in time! You're letting Luke-"
Faren cut her off. "I'm letting him be just him. He deserves the chance."
Luke knew he had been in worse situations, but he had never felt less prepared to face anything than he did now. For the first time, he had learned how much could depend on words.
"I thank you all for your time. I need to better explain something I said yesterday. One of you asked my sister a question, and I interrupted her. Worse than that, I didn't think out my answer, and so instead of saying what I wanted, I gave a terrible impression of how I feel about my father. That did nothing but hurt her and me, and anyone who might have lost someone to the Empire. I deeply apologize for that. You also asked if I thought Darth Vader should be forgiven, and I'd like give a statement that should answer both questions."
He took a deep breath. "I denounce everything that Vader was and did. I've seen firsthand, like many here and throughout the galaxy, of the evil he was capable of. He killed my uncle and aunt, who were the only parents I ever knew. He killed my first teacher and mentor, Obi-Wan Kenobi. He tortured my sister and stood by as her homeworld was destroyed. And I know he is responsible for more in both his and the Emperor's name."
"But my father was not Darth Vader. Darth Vader did not come to Naboo at 9 years old and fight in the Battle of the Trade Federation. Darth Vader did not return to fall in love with Queen Amidala, marry her, and conceive two children with her. My mother would never have married such a man."
"If I seem supportive of my father, it's because I see him as Anakin Skywalker. He was the man who married and loved my mother, the man who biologically was my father and who should have been my father in all other senses of the word. And I damn Darth Vader for taking that man away."
"That's all I have to say. And thank you again for your time." He turned away, too drained to say anymore to them. Leia was right behind him, crying. And then she did what he never expected his princess, the trained diplomat, to do. She hugged him fiercely, ignoring the shouted questions and the journalists clamoring for their attention. She was shaking in his arms, and he wanted to cry with her. Instead, he just whispered in her ear. "I'm so sorry."
She whispered back. "Oh, Luke, so am I."
She broke away from him, turning so the media couldn't see anything. "We need to talk, and we can't do it here."
They left without any further word for their speeder. Leia caught Rabé's eye; the former handmaiden nodded, and moved in front of the reporters, signaling Threepio to do the same. She held her hands up for quiet; she didn't get it, especially as the media saw the princess and Skywalker leaving, but the din finally lowered to the point where she could shout over it. "I will answer what questions I can." The clamor began again, but she stayed through all of it, passing some things to Threepio for the official reports. She knew if she ended it now, the journalists would stampede after Leia and Luke, or to the palace to intercept them there.
At that moment, Leia was thinking exactly of the chaos they must have left behind, especially when Luke said, in an effort to start their conversation, "We left Rabé to the rancors, didn't we?"
She gave him a half-hearted smile as her mind was on what they would say to each other. "I'm sure she's used to it. She must have done it in the past once or twice."
The silence stretched as the speeder made its way back to Theed. Suddenly, Luke put it on manual, and swerved off the path. "I've been having a lot more luck talking outside the palace." He stopped on the plains across from the waterfall. He quietly climbed out to the speeder's hood and sat watching the incredible view.
Leia grinned at the sight. "You and water. I remember on Yavin when Han threatened to have Chewie sling you over his shoulder if you didn't come in from staring at the rain."
Skywalker chuckled. "Well, you can understand that, right?"
She dropped her eyes to the ground and spoke softly. "Yes, I can, and I should have understood what you were going through lately."
"I wasn't any better, and I've been where you are now. How could I forget that?" He took a deep breath, and turned towards her. "Why don't you just tell me what you think, and I'll listen. And then you can do the same for me."
She nodded, clasped her hands together, and took a seat next to him on the hood. "All right." She hugged herself as she thought of what she wanted to say. As much of it was still so confused, she wasn't sure how to express it. "This whole situation - he, Vader - makes me doubt myself. I think, in some ways, that's the worse thing. As much as it hurts to see other people looking as if they're not sure of me anymore, I can't argue with them because I'm not sure of myself either. And I can't afford that. I examine everything I do to see if it's too much like him."
"Everything you do?" he asked with understanding.
"No, you're right. Only the things that are negative. Look at how I was screaming at you yesterday, and you didn't see what I did to my room afterwards. I was out of control! Where did that come from? I have to be in control. I'm in too many situations where it's dangerous for me not to be."
Luke thought of pointing out that this was why she was hesitant about her Jedi training, but realized it wasn't the time. He had promised to listen. "You're afraid of becoming the monster."
"Yes! ...weren't you?"
He nodded. "Of course. You saw how I was after Bespin. Now you know why I was like that."
She asked, "How... did you get over it?"
"It took me a long time. Part of it is something I'll talk about when it's my turn, but you have to know you're not him. You've already avoided choices he made, and you're so careful, you won't make them later."
"I keep... I keep going over all the times I ever confronted him. I used to be proud of how I stood up to him, and now... I see his reactions in me."
"You see yourself being strong against him, and it doesn't matter who you inherited that from, it's what you do with it," Luke comforted. "I can't say anything magical that's going to wipe your fears away. You're going to do what I did when I left for Ben's hut on Tatooine. You're going to look at yourself for awhile and find Leia again." He decided to go ahead with what he was thinking. "Even if you don't become a Jedi, you're going to face the decision at some point of which path you're going to face. The Force is too strong in you, and it'll need you to choose. But I'm betting that choice will feel familiar. You made a similar one when you decided to be in the Rebellion. You didn't go with the Emperor's ways, but you didn't become lost in the war either."
"Sometimes, I thought I would," she said so quietly, he almost didn't hear her. "I imagined killing Tarkin if he hadn't died on the Death Star, and some of the others like him that took Alderaan away from me."
"That's normal. I remember all the times I thought I'd kill Vader for all he did to me. I went to Bespin to do it. Maybe I would've if I had been good enough to beat him then. And if you had to kill Tarkin or one of those others in order to save someone else, you would. But if it was just cold blooded, you'd stop yourself. Some people can afford to do that, but you can't. You couldn't even before you knew who your biological father was, because you know who Leia is and where the line is drawn for her."
She clasped her arms tighter around her. "I know except... I feel like I lost my life again. I had a family and who I was as a part of them, but now it's torn apart with me finding out all this. I sometimes wish I never knew, but that means I wouldn't have you, and I wouldn't sacrifice that." He knew she could feel his gratitude for those words, but she needed his understanding more. "Do you know what I'm saying?"
"Of course I do. I had a life that was taken away too, and that's why I was so crazy for awhile. I had that image of who my father was and what it meant to be his son. Bespin took that away."
"Then how could you ever-"
He forgot his promise to listen. "Because I found Anakin, and I gained something from that. It's not the same as before, I know that, but I did find someone I'm happy saying is my father."
"Luke, don't be angry with me for asking this. Could you be exaggerating what you found, even a little, because you want it so much?"
"Yeah." She obviously never thought he'd say it. He was just as surprised, but it was the truth. When was the last time he thought about how Vader had threatened Leia, pushing Luke into finally facing him at last? How many times did I beg him to help me before he finally stopped the Emperor from killing me? "When I was in the throne room that night, I really thought I was wrong about our father being inside that armor. ... No, that's it. I thought Anakin Skywalker was so buried, he'd never come out. I almost died because of that, but I wasn't wrong, and I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that he saved my life. That Anakin Skywalker was finally able to overcome Vader. And I didn't exaggerate that moment when he died, and everything he said to me before that."
She was quiet a long time. Finally, she took his hand in both of hers. "That's always going to be the big difference between us, isn't it? I wasn't there at that moment, and you were. No matter how much I may accept that Anakin is my father, my outlook will always be different because I wasn't there. I'll never have the feeling you do."
That saddened Luke so much, he wanted to beg Anakin's spirit to appear now. But he knew that the moment he saw his father with Ben and Yoda on Endor, they were saying goodbye. "Maybe you will. I know a few Jedi techniques that can show you that moment. But I don't think we're ready for that." Yoda had told him a Jedi must be at peace, calm in his meditation in order to see the past. Leia had no training yet, and they were both too raw to be at peace if he tried to use the technique now. "And that's not the only thing that's different. I didn't have a Bail Organa, and you did."
"But you did," she said delicately. "I wish you could see that. If you could, maybe-"
"Maybe what? I'll toss Anakin aside and the whole problem goes away? That's not going to happen."
"All right, I shouldn't have said that. But you do need to realize that you weren't cheated on parents. I'm not saying your uncle did the best job he could, but he did raise you, and kept you as safe as possible. He and Beru deserve you recognizing what they did for you."
That deflated his argument. He simply nodded, once more feeling chagrined on how he was disregarding his family for the sake of his father. He never realized it had gotten so far.
Maybe Leia was thinking the same, because she suddenly said, "I've treated you very badly. I really am sorry for that." She was still holding his hand, hurt and guilt brimming in her eyes. "Wait, let me finish. I thought I was listening to you, but I wasn't, not really. I couldn't hear you when I was getting angry over what you were saying. And I didn't tell you what I was thinking because I was afraid it would push you away."
He felt her regret keenly, mixed in with his. "Yeah, I thought the same thing. And then it just built up until it exploded."
She nodded, and they sat looking at the waterfall. Twilight fell and still they sat, side by side, at peace. Leia spoke first, her voice, despite the intense words, in harmony with the moment so as not to spoil it. "I never want it to go this far again, Luke. I can't promise to be perfect, but if some problems start coming between us again, I want to deal with it before it builds up this large. Physically shake me if you have to, but make me see it if I don't see it on my own."
"Of course, you're making me the same promise, right?"
"Of course."
"I promise. Never again, Leia."
She nodded once more, returning his promise. It was too dark for them to see now, and the air grew chilly. Loathed to break the moment but needing to, she started to slide off the speeder. "We should go. Han will be tearing apart the palace if Rabé and Faren beat us back there."
Luke smirked at the image, sliding behind the speeder's controls. "That is much worse than rancors." He started the speeder smoothly and steered towards the palace. Leia - whose smile couldn't be seen in the dark, but could be heard in her voice - suddenly broke the serenity.
"So good thing we had a Cultural Specialist with us, isn't it?"
"Hey, she was a big help!" he argued back good-naturedly.
"Never said she wasn't."
"I could leave you out here, you know."
"Oooo, a threat!"
They never would have bantered back and forth all the way on the return trip if they knew what was awaiting them. Faren had just arrived, fortunately heading for her rooms alone, when Lando suddenly appeared out of nowhere. She quickly stifled her startled shout, and something in his expression made her swallow hard.
"Sorry," Lando apologized. "We need to ask you a favor."
Behind him, Han looked murderous, and Chewbacca had his bowcaster assembled and ready. Her heart hammered in her chest. Whatever they wanted, it was terrible. "What?"
Lando seemed to be the only one trusted to speak. "We need to show you something. We think we know what we found, but well, you're one of the few people who can confirm it. And we need that before we go to Luke and Leia. Or your mother."
"My mother?" He was really scaring her. She took a deep, steadying breath. "Okay, I'll go with you."
He gave her an encouraging smile, and slipped an arm around her shoulders as he steered her back down the hall. She normally wouldn't appreciate the familiar gesture, but thought she needed it as she steeled herself for wherever they were going. "Good. Thank you. We really appreciate it. You're not in any danger, don't worry." That was kind of him, especially as Solo and the Wookiee had fallen into place behind them like a rear guard. "But you should brace yourself. This won't be easy for you."
"Okay," she said, trying not to sound small.
"Where's Leia and Luke?" Solo asked curtly.
"They're on their way back. They stopped to talk about something in private."
Chewie unexpectedly moved in front of them, clearing a path through any curious palace staff. Han spoke again. "You should warn her, Lando."
"Yeah, okay. Faren what was your father's name?"
"Why?" she asked, no longer containing how worried he was making her. "Why?"