Author's Notes: Yes, yes, I know, it's been an absolute age since I posted the first chapter. Sorry – but I've been busy lately. School, and all. Plus I'm running out of material to use (ideas, guys?)
Dedicated to Lynne, Pippa...and Jenn, my own personal flamer.
"Siht t'nsi yllaer nitaL! m'I ylerem gnitirw eht sdorw sdrawkcab! I rednow ohw lliw eciton!" Dawn read out the incantation. Spike, standing tensely beside her glanced down at the page she was reading from.
"Utterly clueless when it comes to magic? Can't tell your newt eyes from salamander? Then use this book! It very precisely marks out each and every spell, so you can't ever do the wrong one, producing a giant troll or something! GUARANTEED!"
Weird...
"Who wants to bet most 'Latin' fan fic writers have in their fics came from My First Latin-Translator (tm)?" He wondered aloud.
"Shuddup! This requires exact concentration! Even one non-spell word will turn us both green and make everything we see a dancing turkey with a crown on it's head!" Dawn yelled.
".............?"
Their lame, unfunny banter was interrupted when a giant rubber band appeared. It was floating in mid-air, and light was shining from it.
"THOU HAST SUMMONED ME." It 'said' (which was hard, as it had no mouth, or vocal cords)
Dawn took a look at the thing, then at the book she was holding. She held the book at arm's length and scrunched up her face.
"You look nothing like the picture here!"
"THOU WERE SUMMONING ORKNALOR, THE GOD OF...CONVENIENTLY BRINGING DEAD SIBLINGS BACK TO LIFE IN LAME AND UNIMAGINATIVE WAYS. BUT THOU HAST SCREWED THE SPELL UP ROYALLY. I AM THE GOD OF PLOT HOLES."
(A/N: Sorry, I know it's been used before)
"Umm....so can you help us?"
The giant rubber band shook it's.....rear..bandy end...piece.
"I CANNOT. I AM FORBIDDEN TO."
"Goddammit, mother@:#;::@! piece of ~}/?!!" Dawn and Spike cried simultaneously.
Spike looked at Dawn approvingly.
"You speak the accents on the @ sign very well." He commented.
The giant rubber band thing, which was now becoming very bored, interrupted.
"I SENSE A GREAT DEAL OF LOVE FOR THE GIRL THEE WISH TO REINCARNATE. AH WELL, IT'S AN INCREDIBLY PATHETIC REASON TO BRING HER BACK, BUT THIS IS FANFIC, SO IT'LL DO. HERE YOU GO."
A very naked (but somehow tastefully covered at the same time) Buffy dropped from the sky. There was a crack.
"You stupid bitch! Her neck's broken!" Spike said angrily.
"OOPS. I KNEW DROPPING HER FROM THE SKY WAS A DUMB, STUPID IDEA. WONDER WHERE I GOT THAT IDEA FROM, ANYWAY? HERE'S ANOTHER ONE."
Another identical Buffy appeared at their feet.
The giant rubber band disappeared.
Dawn and Spike stared speechlessly, as Buffy slowly got to her feet.
"Even though we set out with the intention of bringing her back, somehow her being brought back shocks and stuns me into not being able to say anything." Spike whispered.
Buffy turned round and looked at them.
"Hey guys. I see you've brought me back from the dead."
"Uh..yeah," Spike said hesistantly. "Aren't you gonna moan at us about being at peace and being tired of fighting, etc...?"
"Nah." She said. "I was bored anyway. So...what's for lunch?"
* * *
"AHHHH!!!!! I'M NAKED IN FRONT OF SPIKE!!!!!!!!!!!"
* * *
Over the past few months, Spike had found himself being attracted to Dawn. Yes, for some reason his undying love for Buffy had died when he'd spent some time with the younger model.
But they are so alike. Blah blah Dawn and Buffy are one, she is like the moon etc dark side. Spike thought.
"Ok," he reasoned. "Now that I've made the appropriate (*cough* LAME! *cough*) excuses, it's time to go nail Buffy's fifteen year old sister."
Chapter Three coming...well, when I have more ideas. And please, no flames from Spike fans. It's all in good fun.