The really stupid long and retarded FFVII Fan fic.



(Vincent) Hee hee hee. HAH HA HAH AH!!

(Yuffie) ....Psst.. Why is vincent in the shoping cart?
(Reno) ..........................I don't know.
(Rude) Why is Yuffie here?
(Yuffie) Cause, I have your materia and crack.
(Rude) Um..
(Rufus) ...I HATE YOU!! *shoots vincent*
(Vincent) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! YOU MADE HARDY HAR-MAN CRY!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
(Cid) Shhh, it's okay vinny!! here have some milky milk!
(Cloud) I want milk..
(Vincent) MY MILKY MILK!!
(Cloud) I WANT MILK!
(Rufus) I want milk too..
(CId) NO!! NONE OF YOU GET ANY MILK!!
( Vincent and Cloud) ...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
(Rufus) *Strokes hair.* Ahem.
(Cid) YOU CAN ALL HAVE TEA!! UWEE HEE HEE HEE HEEHAHAHAHAAHAH HEE HEEEEEEEE HAAHA! HAHAHA!! HEEE HEEE HAAA HO HO HARDY HAR HA HA HAHAHAHA GYAA *snort* HAHAHAHAHAHA HOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOO HEEE HEE AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH MWEEAHAHAHAHAAH UWAHAHAHAHA KEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE BWA HA HA HA HA NANANANANANA HEY-HEY LALALAALAL HAA HA HA HA HAH AH!!
(Everyone else) Umm.. Cid?
(Hojo) I'm to sexy for my glasses to sexy fort my glasses yes aaaah! -throws his glasses to the side and flashes everyone by opening his lab coat.- MWAAHAAHA!
(Cloud) *Runs around like a chicken.* BAAAAAH!!!!!! GAAAAA!BAAAAAAGAAAAAA! !!!!!!!
(Cid) *Makes ALOOOOOOOT of tea.*
(Aeris) QUICK! EVERYONE MAKE A BOAT!! WE ARE FLOODING! AAAAH!
(Sephiroth) *Makes a boat.* IT'S FOR ME AND MOMMY!!
(Aeris) Can I come?
(Sephieoth) No..
(Aeris) Please?
(Sephieoth) No..
(Aeris) Please?
(Sephieoth) No..
(Aeris) Please?
(Sephieoth) No..
(Aeris) Please?
(Sephieoth) No..
(Aeris) Please?
(Sephieoth) No..
(Aeris) Please?
(Sephieoth) No..
(Aeris) Please?
(Sephieoth) No..
(Aeris) Please?
(Sephieoth) No..
(Aeris) Please?
(Sephieoth) No..
(Aeris) Please?
(Sephieoth) No..
(Aeris) Please?
(Sephiroth) NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
(Cid) *Making tea water balloons.*
(Tifa) CLOUDY!!
(Cloud) What?
(Tifa) Do you know what your precious little flower girl REALLY DOES?
(Cloud) Sells flowers? And she puts out real--
(Tifa) SHH! No.. she.. SHE IS A DRUG ADDICT!
(Cloud) How do you know?
(Tifa) Who sells Flowers for one gil? How does she afford to live?
(Cloud) Can you prove it.. ?
(Tifa) Yes! *Yells at Aeris* HEY FLOWER GIRL!! WE KNOW YOUR SECRET!!
(Aeris) -Stares at Tifa and Cloud.-
(Cloud) . . .
(Tifa) haha.. See?
(Aeris) *Drops her flower basket and runs.*
(Tifa) I KNEW IT!! MWAHAHA!
(Cloud) REALLY? *Looks in the basket.* Oh my god.. Tifa!!
(Tifa) *Stands all proud and stuff*
(Cloud) They ARE FLOWERS!! *Dumps them on the ground.-*
(Tifa) ...URGGHH!
(Cloud) Hahaha.. DORK WEED!
(Tifa) ....LOOK CLOUD.. Err.. IT'S BRITTNEY SPEARS!!
(Cloud) OOH! *Runs to go find brittney.*
(Tifa) Hmph.. OH VINCENT!!
(Vincent) *Dead.*
(Tifa) Damnit.. OH..um.. SEPHIROTH!
(Sephiroth) *in a boat with Jenova.*
(Tifa) Hey sexy boy, wanna--
(Sephiroth) LEAVE ME AND MOTHER BE!!
(Tifa) Bu-but-!!
(Sephiroth) GO!! JUST GO!! I AM SO OUTRAGED!!
(Tifa) FINE!! ...Cid?
(Cid) -Insane laughter.- WAHAHAHAWAHAHAHAA YOU WANT SOME TEA, TIFA?
(Tifa) .... Rufus?
(Rufus) *Hold his gun up to her.* >O!!
(Tifa) *turns to the male turks.* :D?
(Rude,Reno,Tseng) HEAD FOR THE HILLS!! *RUN!!*
(Tifa) Barret?! This is my last resort..
(Barret) -Has steroids shoved in his mouth.- GO!! -Flex, flex-
(Tifa) That reminds me.. *Runs behind some wall thingie bathroom.*
(Marlene) Papa.... what are you eating?
(Barret) *Muffle* NOTSING!!
(Marlene) *Walks over to Tifa.* Tifa..?
(Tifa) *Has breast enhancing pills shoved in her mouth.* AAACK!
(Marlene) What is Bloussant?
(Tifa) *Runs with the pills*
(Cop from "COPS") HEY YOU THERE!!
(Tifa) THERE LEGAL!
(Cop) Okay..
(Cloud) *Jumps in front of Tifa in a school girl outfit.* GO BRITTNEY!! *Holds up an autographed poster*
(Tifa) WHAT?
(Cloud) Brittney signed my poster!
(Tifa) You mean.. SHE WAS THERE? Ah man.. and I needed some tips..
(Cloud) .... I'm gonna go find Aeris..
(Aeris) Cloud.. I like.. Zack..
(Cloud) What?
(Zack) H-hey! :D
(Aeris) No.. I like CLOUD!
(Cloud and Zack) ..?
(Aeris) *Pulls her hair.* CLOUD, ZACK, CLOUD, ZACK!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Turns into a schizophrenic psycho.* SEPHIROTH!!
(Sephiroth) ARGH!! NO!! ;-;!
(Aeris) ..........................................Tifa? EW! NO!!
(Tifa) O_O!
(Aeris) *Runs to Seph.* I LOVE YOU!!
(Sephiroth) -Also in a school girl outfit with brittney poster.- What?
(Aeris) I LOVE THE WAY YOUR EVIL, THE WAY YOU STAB ME IN THE BACK, THE WAY YOUR HAIR IS SO PRETTY, THE WAY YOU WALK, THE WAY YOU TALK! EVERYTHING!
(Yuffie) Ack.. She just needs her medication. -Throws a bottle of pills at Aeris.-
(Aeris) GOD DAMNIT, I WAS LOOKING FOR THESE! -Downs three of them.-
(Yuffie) .... Don't ask why I had them, there might be cops nearby.
(Marlene) WHY THE HELL DOES EVERYONE HAVE PILLS!
(Cloud) Here, you can share with me.. -Hands her a "Flinstones" vitamin bottle.-
(Marlene) YAY!
(Sephiroth) ... -Sails away in his ship.- MWAHAHA, GOODBYE!!
(Cid) Uh-oh.. -The world over flows with tea.-
THE END! :D

I dunno if anybody has a fan fic like this one.. Errp. x_x Um.. I don't own FF7, Squaresoft does. So.. HAVE A SPIFFY DAY.. Why do we say what we don't own.. it's fan fiction, of course we don't own it..
REVIEW PLEASE!