Disclaimer: I don't
own any of the characters. Someday…
Spoilers: Through
season 7
Rating: PG for
now. If any further chapter needs a
different rating, I will specify.
"A Long Road to Follow"
It had been a bad day.
The sheer trauma that had gone on in the ER today was more than Abby had
needed to see in an entire lifetime.
And to top it off, Luka had turned in her med school reinstatement form,
and Carter told her basically that he was in love with her. It had been a bad day.
Abby left to go home as soon as her shift ended- she didn't
even look for her boyfriend. She just
wanted to go home and get away from it all.
She really wanted a drink, but she knew that wasn't the answer. She just wanted to crawl into bed and make
the entire world disappear.
She settled on a pint of Ben and Jerry's instead of a
drink. Not a healthy substitute, but
she needed something. As she settled on
the couch to watch some mind-numbing television, she heard a knock at the
door. She figured it must be Luka. "Come in," she yelled. He had his own keys.
"Abby, why didn't you tell me you were leaving?"
"I'm tired. I just
wanted to go home."
"I'm really sorry about your med school form. I really thought that you had just
forgot. I'll take care of any fees if
they come after you for summer tuition."
"Forget it. I'll
take care of it." Abby said this rather
flatly.
"I'm sorry, Abby."
"Don't be sorry Luka.
I know you meant well. Look, I
just don't want to talk tonight. I just
want to be alone right now."
"Abby," he said gently, "You never want to talk. I want to help you, I want to be there for
you, but I don't know how."
"Luka, I don't want to talk about it. That's just who I am. If you can't accept that, maybe we have no
business being together."
"Maybe we don't Abby.
But I think that we do. But if I
can't help you, I hope that you find somebody who can. You have to talk to someone Abby. You're not happy. I've seen you happy, and this isn't it. I love you, Abby. Please
talk to someone."
Abby looked away.
"I'm going home.
Please talk to someone Abby. I'm
sure that Dr. Legaspi can give you the name of a good therapist, and if you
want me to, I'll come with you. I mean
that. And I meant it when I said I love
you." Luka leaned over and gave her a
kiss on the forehead. He could see a
tear running down her cheek.
"Just go," she whispered.
He left.
Abby wanted to call Carter, but she knew she couldn't. She felt bad. She knew that he had a crush on her, but she chose to ignore
it. She ignored a lot of things. Sometimes life just worked better if you
just ignored what you didn't want to see.
She loved Carter, as a friend. He
reminded her a lot of her brother, and she didn't really have any friends
besides Luka. She used to hang out with
the OB nurses, before she started med school.
Then she got too busy. She and
Richard used to have a lot of social acquaintances, but they were more his
friends. They had gotten married in
Vegas, just so Abby wouldn't have to deal with finding a maid of honor. Besides, she wouldn't have even wanted to
invite anyone anyways. Even when she
was a kid, she didn't really have friends.
She was always too embarrassed to bring anyone home. And now that she was out of school, and on
her own, she still didn't have any friends.
She didn't know how to make them.
Carter had been her first real friend. At least she thought so. She should have figured that once she had
found him, something would go wrong.
Carter had lots of other friends, and there were lots of women
interested in him. He was doing much
better with his recovery. He'd be
okay.
Luka. She pushed him
away- just like she had pushed Richard away.
She cared about Luka very much, but she just couldn't deal with
him. He was too nice to her. It would be much better if she were just
alone. She didn't need anyone, and no
one needed her. Luka would find someone
much better, someone who could talk for hours with him, and give him healthy
children.
"Everyone will be okay but me," Abby thought to herself. She finished off her pint of ice cream and
went to bed. "At least I won't have a
hangover in the morning," she mused.
"I'll just be alone."
To be continued.
