Tutto A Te Mi Guida
By:
Disclaimers: I do not own RK and its characters. Sole credits would have to be given to Nobuhiro Watsuki for creating these wonderful characters. I am merely borrowing them for a few pages. Please don't sue, I'm a good kid.
Jo-chan: Ohayo minna, sorry for the long absence! Mal, Seranida, missed you too! e.e* (teary-eyed) Anyway, I didn't drop off the face of the Earth... yet. Here's a new ficcie and I hope you read it. Ja!
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Chapter 1- Painful Decisions
Even in sleep, she cried.
Aoshi swallowed a painful lump in his throat as he gazed at the tormented face of Misao, haunted by sadness even in slumber. His hand clenched as he saw the silver tendrils of tears that adorned her hallowed cheeks. It has been two weeks. Two painful, excruciating weeks.
~ "I love you! Why can't you be with me?" ~
'Gomen Misao... it's not that easy...' whispered Aoshi as he recalled the words that gave him so much pain that it almost became pleasure. An ache in his heart brought him here, a selfish indulgence that he begged to share. But even now, there was no end to this pain, a pain that has become his ever since he refused her love.
~ "No, don't love me Misao," he said in a dead monotone as he watched the tear-brightened eyes dim in response to his answer. ~
Misao suddenly hiccuped as she huddled deeper into her blankets. It was as if she had no warmth, as if she was all alone in the whole world. Her head buried deeper under the covers, hiding itself from Aoshi's view. Against his will, Aoshi's hand reached out, burning to touch even a tress of her hair.
Midway he paused, his hand trembling ever so slightly. He took a deep breath and slowly, he touched her hair, with a gentleness that bespoke a hundred truths more than words ever could. He was touching her like a penitent upon the Holy Grail, like a blind man upon sunlight with soft, feathery, almost hesitant caresses.
His fingertips hovered over her loosened tresses, touching it like a dream. "Sumen nasai Misao... I'm sorry for your pain," Aoshi whispered as he withdrew his hand. He reached into the pocket of his trench coat, his movements slow, as if drained off all life and vitality.
A slight clink of chains revealed a delicate necklace. Aoshi held it carefully in his hand as he attached a small heart-shaped pendant to it. His fingertips lingered over the sapphire rose engraved so skillfully on the pendant. The intricacy of the design was matchless but the words engraved on the back eluded his understanding.
Tutto a te mi guida
Somehow that foreign phrase made the pendant all the more precious and Aoshi kept that pendant with him since a client awarded him with it at the age of seventeen. The sapphire reminded him of Misao's eyes and he has been waiting to give Misao this necklace since he possessed it. But the turbulence of the past years has weighed heavily in his heart.
'I can't be the man you love Misao... so onegai... don't love me..." he thought as he placed the locket carefully upon Misao's futon. A small scroll soon stood beside the locket as Aoshi silently left Misao's room.
Outside the gates of Aoiya, he paused one last time as the moon peered above the darkened clouds. "Sayonara Misao..." he said as he left into the darkness of the night.
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A patch of sunlight illuminated Misao's face as she turned over, wearily opening her eyes. 'Nothing's changed,' thought Misao dully as tears quickly blurred her vision. She stretched a bit and her eyes flew open when her hand hit something above her head. She sat up quickly when Okina entered her room.
Quickly forgetting the strange thing she encountered, she looked warily up the grim expression on Okina's face. "Doushita no Jiya?" she asked as she straightened the collar of her sleeping gi.
"Misao-chan... Aoshi left us," he said as he gazed at the face of the girl he loved like a daughter. The slightest flicker registered upon her face but the mask she has worn for these last two weeks was firmly in place.
"That's nothing new," she replied in a dead tone. Her fingers whitened on her sheets as she turned her face away from Jiya's probing eyes. Her eyes fell upon the object near her pillow. A small scroll covered it as she lifted the scroll away from the hard lump.
Jiya gasped as sunlight fell upon the object. Misao's grip tightened on the scroll as she gazed in bewilderment upon the necklace. Jiya first picked it up, turning the necklace in his hands with an expression of wonder. "Misao-chan, it's beautiful..." exclaimed Jiya as the sunlight glinted upon the glittering sapphire rose.
"Please take it away from me Jiya...." said Misao as she lowered her head, her bangs obscuring her eyes. Startled, Jiya tried to press the necklace upon Misao's hand. "Iie, Misao-chan, this necklace is for you!" he said.
Roughly, Misao shoved the necklace back in Okina's hand. "I don't care! I don't care! I hate Aoshi Shinomori! I don't want to touch anything from him because I hate him so much!" screamed Misao as she threw off her sheets. At her scream, Okon and Omasu stuck their heads in worriedly.
"Misao-chan, daijoubu ka?" they asked. Misao knelt on her futon as she gazed enraged at the people in her room. The ache inside her heart became an overpowering desire to hurt and scream until she lost her voice.
"Just leave me alone! Can't you understand me? Get out of my room!" screamed Misao as she let loose her kunais that she buried under her pillow. The kunais struck forcefully at the wall beside Jiya and Omasu and Okon. It vibrated for a tense moment as she waited for the intruders to leave.
White-faced, Okina and the others left. Okina paused, his hand resting warily on the paper door. The necklace that dangled off his other hand glittered wildly, as if calling attention to its beauty. Softly, Okina spoke, gauging Misao's wild expression.
"Misao-chan, don't shut us out. Don't do what Aoshi did, it would only bring you pain. We're always here for you Misao, you know how much we love you," said Okina softly as waited for any hint of response from Misao.
A long moment passed, almost like an eternity. Jiay shook his head as he tossed the necklace out, landing on the foot of Misao's futon. "I believe this was meant for you Misao..." he said before turning around and walking away.
The sliding of the paper door closed brought tears of anger and frustration in Misao's eyes. "He's gone, I can be happy now can't I?" she thought as she wiped away the tears. But the painful ache in her heart proved otherwise as she crawled over and held the necklace close to her heart. Nothing eased the pain as she opened the small scroll and read his message.
~ Sayonara Misao... ~
She turned the necklace over in her hand, the delicate beauty of the necklace and the sheer magnificence of the pendant's design piercing her heart's gloom. "Why?" she asked aloud in the silent room.
"Why?"
To be continued
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Author's Note:
I am stuck in a writer's rut! I can't seem to finish my two other stories so I took a break from writing them. Don't worry, I'll finish them somehow but right now, my ideas are running wild. Anyway, the title of the story is in Italian, I would very much appreciate it if anybody who knows the language wouldn't divulge the translation of my title. I would reveal the meaning in time and I hope you'll like my story. C&C's are very much appreciated.