Disclaimer: I own nada, it belongs to the Almighty Flanneled One. I guess you could say Ray is my creation, eh? Well I own him then, but he's got a teeny part anyway. But anydoodles, I've explained Cadi's creation in the previous fic (Obi Meets His Match), but I guess I should explain again. She's basically me, except you can credit her physical appearance to Da2187Leia. Oh, that reminds me, Guendea Shibby! I trust you guys have seen "Dude, Where's My Car?" Yeah, hence the last name, we were kind of obsessed with the movie while I was writing this. Guendea belongs to herself, the last name was a collaboration between the two of us. K, that said, there are a whole lot of Blink 182 (or Wink 136, as a member of the Star Wars universe might call them) songs within the dialogue and junk. Let's see, I used "Please Take Me Home" and "Time to Break Up," also known as Hidden Track 14 from the red version of "Take Off Your Pants and Jacket." At the end you will find "Going Away to College" from "Enema of the State." Gee, can you tell what my favorite band is?
Storyline: Five years after "Obi Meets His Match," five years pre-TPM. Although I suggest you read "Obi Meets His Match" for a better understanding of this fic, it's not vital. But anyhoo, where was I? Right. Obi is being sent on his first solo mission, which brings his relationship with Cadi to a whole new level. Dedicated to Maroo, because moving sucks and don't we know it.
*Space + Time = Relationship Killer*
Ray's hazel eyes painfully watched as his friend Obi-Wan Kenobi downed yet another shot. He had stopped counting at the tenth glass.
"Okay, I really think you should stop now. Take a break?" he pleaded gently, easing the glass away from Obi with the Force. Glazed blue/green/gray eyes shot at him with quick anger, an easily found mask for what was really bothering him.
"What's wrong with me, Ray?" the voice came hoarsely, sounding tired and stricken with sorrow.
"Obi, come on, just tell me what happened," it was what Ray had been trying to find out all night. Obi had come to his quarters in the late afternoon, absolutely infuriated, but completely silent. The two young men had taken a long, dreary walk, and Obi fell into the sleazy bar they were in now, somewhere on one of the rougher streets of Coruscant. The bartender hadn't even carded them, which he should have, considering they were only 20 and Obi-Wan barely passed for 16. "Obi-Wan," Ray tried again, possible causes of his friend's distress running through his mind. And then it seemed clear: "Does this have something to do with Cadi?"
The eyes shot up again now, only this time there was no anger- instead there was the type of emptiness that only found a person in loss. Ray had his answer.
***
"Because I don't want you to go, damn it! I don't see why you need any further explanation," the frustrated passion in Cadi's voice finally cracked as she crumpled down onto her bed, choking down the approaching tears.
"Cadi, you know I don't have a choice," Obi's composure was failing as well. They had been going on for nearly half an hour now, and she couldn't be making this any harder. Obi sighed shakily as he sat down next to her, running his fingers through her silken black hair, "We knew this day would come- it's part of every Padawan's journey-"
"Don't gimme that shit," the rage came with fresh energy as she stood up again, violet eyes ablaze. And then- her fists clenched, unclenched, and there was a look of surrender there. She hid her face in her hands as she turned away from him, her shoulders heaving with silent sobs only a moment later.
It hurt him to see her like this- this vulnerable- this broken down. Obi closed his eyes for a second, wishing a thousand times over that he could stop her pain. But no, in fact, he was the cause of it.
It was his first solo mission: he would be on Dathomir for a hundred days starting next week. Normally, a Jedi Padawan would be elated to begin his first trip alone, because it meant he was that much closer to becoming a Knight. But Obi's situation was different, because his first solo mission signified the end of his relationship with Cadi, at least for the next hundred days. And after five years together- five years that went by way too quickly for Obi-Wan- an ending such as this seemed impossible. But here he was…
He stood up slowly and approached her, pulling her in for a hug. Her head came to rest on his shoulder, a shuddering breath passing her lips. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, as if never to let him go again. Obi-Wan kissed her temple softly and rocked her in his arms.
"Cadi," he whispered, "my love, my belle, my flame-" he was stopped by a loud sniff from her as she suddenly pulled away. Her fists rose up then, beating helplessly against his collarbone. He took her wrists and hushed her, but she continued to fight until she exhausted herself, burying her face in his robes again. "Please don't make this so hard," Obi swallowed with difficulty as his emotions welled up inside him. /I There is no emotion; there is peace /I he repeated to himself over and over, although it didn't help at all. "Please don't make such a big deal out of it," he begged. He felt anger radiate from her then as she shoved away.
"What the hell am I supposed to make out of it? Huh? You measly piece of fodder-"
"Cadi, don't do this-" he tried to stop her as he hid his face in his hands.
"Don't ever tell me what to do, you have no right to. Not now, not ever again. You know something? I don't know why I ever got involved with you. You promised and you promised and you promised me, and now look-"
"You know as well as I do this is beyond my control, Cadi," Obi heard his voice raising as the anger swelled inside him, "what in space do you want me to do? Because I-"
"Why do I have to keep repeating myself? I told you what I want you to do: I don't want you to go," she repeated the last words slowly, her hands flying up to tug at her hair.
"Well you want the impossible. The Council has decided; I am needed on Dathomir. If I didn't go, my life as a Jedi would be over," Obi knew he had won, and he held his breath as his words hung in the air. Cadi said nothing for a long time, her arms crossed over her chest.
"If you loved me, you wouldn't go," her voice had dropped back down to a normal tone. The plead shocked Obi, and his eyes flared up; but he could tell by the way she was looking at him that this was her last try.
"That's not fair, Cadi, you know it isn't," his calm had returned to him also, and now he waited for a response. She chewed on the inside of her cheek for a long while, and then her arms dropped and she walked away.
"Enjoy your mission, Kenobi," she said between the sliding of the door.
Obi-Wan sat in the silence alone, a cold, hard lump in his throat. In the five years they had been together, Cadi had addressed him by his last name only once before- and he knew what it meant: she had given up.
***
The usually lively eyes of his friend now seemed dead, distant and dispirited as Ray listened to the end of the story. He had been there when Obi and Cadi had begun, and now it looked like things had come full circle, he was now there for their end. Normally avid with things to say, advice to give, Ray sat silently as he searched for helpful words.
"What can I say?" he said aloud, "Hurts to break up." Obi gave a short, bitter laugh and looked away.
"She was stronger," the distraught young man whispered, mostly to himself. Obi rolled his glass between his fingers back and forth, and without warning slammed it down on the counter. He got an annoyed glare from the bartender, and so resumed his calmer rolling. "And you know," he went on, his words barely audible, "all my friends said 'please don't love her'-"
"Obi, look man, we were never-"
"No, no, you were right. I mean, what did I gain?" he paused as if repeating the question silently to himself. He ran his hands through his hair, "and now, I miss her so."
"Obi, if you want to call it a heartache, then you shouldn't regret those things-"
"I miss her," he repeated distantly. Ray sighed with exhaustion.
"If you want the pain to go away," Ray made one final suggestion, "better suck up your pride and admit-" he paused, the words seemed reluctant to pass his lips, mainly because he did not believe them, "you lost her."
"What are you saying?" Obi's voice raised dramatically from nothing, "You're telling me to let her go? Hmm? Move on?"
"No!" Ray shouted back defensively. "Yes," he admitted after a minute, but Obi was already gone. Ray slumped back against his stool, not knowing what else to do.
***
Cadi was not answering her comlink. After silencing his sudden desire to strangle the Temple operator, Obi decided to try her Master instead. He quickened his already-running pace and switched on his comlink again.
"Operator," came the robotic answer.
"Master Guendea Shibby," he barked back at the droid.
"One moment please," the modulated voice said, following by a few clicking noises and then the familiar ringing of a comlink.
"Hello?" Master Guendea, Cadi's teacher, answered after the second ring. Obi rounded a corner, nearly knocking over an elderly Bothan, and raised his comlink to speak.
"Hey Master Shibby," Obi greeted, as friendly as he could manage. But he doubted she wouldn't pick up on how ragged he sounded, "is Cadi with you?" There was slight hesitation on the other end.
"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan," the sympathetic voice came back, "but she was just called down to see Council, why don't you try her comlink?" Obi sensed that the hidden question was why was he calling Guendea to reach Cadi?
"I already have, Master Guendea, she's not answering me," Obi rounded another corner; he was almost back to Temple...
"Really? I wonder why that is," the response was sincere. Obi realized that Cadi had said nothing about their fight to her Master.
"Ahm, it's a long story, actually," he offered her, hoping he wouldn't have to explain.
"You must come up and tell me, there has to be a good reason behind it," from her tone he knew it was pointless to resist.
"I'll be right there," he pocketed the comlink as he entered the elevator.
***
"I don't believe it," the Master said after hearing the story. Obi's head, meanwhile, was preparing to self-destruct. He wanted to go to bed, but knew that if he tried to sleep he would lay there for hours, just thinking about Cadi. Her Master, Guendea Shibby, had always been kind to him. Now she took him in a warm embrace, and for the first time since the fight Obi let himself cry. He felt his tears fall into the folds of the Master's robes as she whispered comfort to him.
"What am I going to do, Master Guendea?" he looked at her with pleading eyes.
"Right now, young Obi-Wan, I think it is best you go home and try to rest. Tonight I will talk to Cadi, and tomorrow you two shall talk again," her gold eyes regarded him sadly. Obi could do nothing but shake his head. Slowly he stepped away, wiping his tears from his face with the sleeve of his robe.
"Master Guendea?" he said as the door slid open for him.
"Yes, Obi-Wan?"
"Would you tell her I love her?" the Master offered him a solemn nod and a final pat on the shoulder.
"I am sure she already knows, my dear. Now go get some rest," the door swished closed behind him, and Obi made his way home.
***
"You're home late," Qui-Gon commented as he heard his Padawan enter their quarters. "Care to tell me where you were this evening?" He did not get an immediate answer, and he sensed there was something seriously wrong with Obi-Wan. "Obi-Wan? Is something wrong?" he voiced the question as he moved into the living room to find the young man stretched out on the couch, staring at the ceiling.
"I really can't tell that story anymore Master, not tonight," the words were unusually deadened for his Padawan, which alarmed Qui even more.
"Very well," Qui surrendered. Gradually he stretched out with the Force to their special Master/Padawan connection, and Obi tiredly shared the memory of the night with him. Swirls of emotions came with it: sadness, fear, anger…but above all there was loss.
"I don't believe it," Qui breathed after the memory ended. Obi just snorted and turned away from him.
"That's what Master Guendea said," he muttered shortly after.
"Well, how can you blame us? Master Guendea and I watched the two of you grow closer and closer together for five years. Nobody, even wise old Masters like her and me, ever even considered a relationship like that ending," Qui stretched out a large hand to comfort Obi, but his Padawan shrugged him off and abruptly stood up.
"I think I'll go to bed now Master," he mumbled and walked off. Qui watched solemnly as Obi was engulfed slowly by the blackness of his bedroom. For a while he sat alone, trying to fully absorb what he had just learned. It was times like this that only confirmed how hard the life of a Jedi really was.
The doorbell was ringing.
***
Cadi wanted to die. Council had just dismissed her with the news that she was off on her first solo mission to Byss in three days. She could barely listen to her briefing because she was thinking about Obi the entire time. Thinking about how she had just put him through hell for leaving her, and now here she was, being ordered to prepare to leave herself.
Nobody was answering the door. On the verge of breakdown, Cadi sat on the floor in front of the door and tucked herself into a ball.
Obi, I'm sorry she thought over and over again.
***
Obi…
Obi had just gotten comfortable for another session of staring at the ceiling when the doorbell rang. Seconds later Qui tapped on his door and came in.
"You might want to answer that," the old Master whispered softly into the dark. He did not answer, only lay there in silence until Qui left. Slowly he slid his legs over the side of his bed and stood up, dragging them in the direction of the door. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his Master slip into his room as he smacked the switch to unlock the door.
Wide violet eyes that were already tearing looked up at him, and suddenly their noses were touching and they were hugging tightly. Disconnected from his actions, Obi took her into his bedroom where they could talk.
***
"You are /Inot/I going to Byss," Obi said sternly as Cadi sat on his bed, staring at the floor.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I don't have a choice."
"Of course you don't," he snapped at her, fatigue and frustration evident in his voice, "but when I said that, it didn't matter."
"Please don't be mad at me," the whisper begged.
"You're right, I shouldn't be, feels terrible, doesn't it? But I am mad, so it's your turn to feel terrible now. Anyway, as I was saying, you are /Inot/I going to Byss, it's a hell of a lot more dangerous than Dathomir, and I-" he could barely control the words coming out of his mouth.
"I love you," she said with audible desperation. Obi had been pacing like a madman, but that halted him dead in his tracks. He planned to yell at her some more, and he raised his finger to point condescendingly at her.
"I-" he found himself stammering. He smacked himself in the face and sighed, "Force! What am I doing? I love you too, Cadi," the last words barely made it out of his mouth as he fell onto the bed beside her, simultaneously wrapping his arms around her to kiss her. Cadi tried hard to reciprocate, but she had to break away to let out a sob.
"Obi-Wan I'm so sorry," she whispered as she wiped away her tears. Suddenly she laughed, "You think I've cried enough today?" she asked him, trying to smile.
"I've never seen you cry before," he admitted as he gently kissed away the last of her tears.
"Yeah, well, first time for everything," from the weight of her words Obi knew that whatever argument they had died there. Waves of relief enveloping him, he gently brushed back her hair as they held a long gaze.
"So are we okay now?" he said tentatively. Cadi heaved a big sigh and flopped down on the bed, her lower legs dangling over the edge.
"Let's not talk about it anymore," she breathed, "let's talk about something happier."
"Like what?" Obi couldn't help but laugh a little as he copied her reclined position. Once he'd comfortably laced his fingers behind his head, Cadi shifted so that her head came to rest on his chest.
"Oh, I don't know…" she trailed off absently.
"Did I ever tell you what I first thought when we met?" he said with a big yawn.
"If it's something bad I'll sock you," she said mock-threateningly.
"I thought 'Oh no it happened again, she's cool, she's hot, she's my friend…'" he began one of their favorite songs. Cadi smiled in memory.
"I hope, hope that it lasts," she sang quietly, "Give in, forget the past…"
"Be strong when things fall apart," he stroked her hair.
"Honest, this breaks my heart," she whispered, realizing the relevance of the song.
"Why did we have to go date," he tickled her playfully.
"It's too easy to complicate," she retorted by tugging at a stray piece of chest hair that had escaped from his tunic.
"Ouch!" he exclaimed, grabbing her suddenly. She yelped and play-fought with him, but he had her pinned this time. Their laughter subsided into a long period of simply kissing, both of them taking in the memory of the other.
"Obi," Cadi whispered after a long time, "it's really late-"
"Shhhh, Qui-Gon's asleep," he whispered back as he continued to kiss his way down her neck.
"Don't you think I should go home?" she asked as quietly as she could. He looked up at her, his fingers tracing over her face in the darkened room.
"Stay with me tonight?" he murmured back softly. Cadi gazed at his faint, unlit face, how could she say no?
"Alright," she said at last, sealing the deal with a long, hard kiss. He resumed what he was doing, and before long Cadi felt one of his hands running down her side…
"Obi-Wan, no," she whispered nervously. He looked at her for a long moment, "not like this," she said into the silence. He regarded her a second longer, and then shifted his weight so that he lay next to her.
"Okay," he conceded softly with understanding in his voice, instead taking her hand in his as he pulled her close.
"Let's wait until we see each other again," she sighed, her muscles relaxing into his plush bed.
"Hush, let's just sleep now," he whispered as he pulled the sheets around them. "I love you, Cadi," he said into the silence.
"I love you too, Obi," Cadi returned, but she could already hear soft snores in her ear, his breath warm and sweet against her neck. As Cadi pulled his hand closer to her heart, she wished things would never change between them.
***
Qui-Gon awoke to a beeping comlink in his ear. He switched it on between yawns and forced himself to sit up.
"Hello?" he said sleepily.
"Good morning, Master Qui-Gon, sorry to wake you," Master Guendea greeted him on the other end.
"That's alright, Guendea, what can I do for you?" already guessing what she was going to ask about, Qui got up to check on Obi-Wan.
"Well, how should I put this?" there was an audible amount of concern in her voice, "Cadi never came home last night, and-"
"No need to worry," Qui soothed as he popped his head into his Padawan's room. Sure enough, both of them were there, sound asleep beside each other, "she's here with us. Sorry we didn't tell you earlier."
"Oh," the Master on the other end seemed to release the breath she'd been absently holding, "I guess that's okay, as long as she's in good hands."
"With Obi-Wan? Always," he said reassuringly, beginning to wonder if the two Padawans had worked things out…
"Mm, young love," was the thoughtful response, "bye for now then."
"Talk to you later Guendea," Qui switched off the comlink and approached a sleeping Obi-Wan. The young couple was a laughable tangled mass of sheets and limbs, Cadi clinging tightly to Obi-Wan's neck and he with his arms around the small of her back. Qui-Gon easily touched his Padawan's forehead and brought him back to consciousness.
"Good morning Master," the young man said groggily, unable to turn and face Qui because of his entanglement.
"Likewise, Obi-Wan. I hope the two of you have resolved the conflict?" he inquired tentatively.
"Oh yes, Master, very much so," Obi's eyes turned onto a still-sleeping Cadi. He carefully shifted one arm, bringing his hand to her forehead and copying Qui-Gon's earlier action. Sleepy purple eyes met him, along with a faint smile.
"Good, that is pleasing to hear," Qui commended, beaming contently at them.
"What's pleasing to hear?" Cadi asked as she released Obi to rub the sleep from her eyes.
"That we've worked things out," Obi explained, audibly relieved to be saying so.
"Oh," Cadi mumbled, snuggling in closer to him. Obi's cheeks flushed a little as he threw Qui a helpless/embarrassed look. Qui suppressed his laughter and stepped out of the room.
"Breakfast will be ready soon," he announced as the door slid closed.
"You're so cute when you do that," Cadi mumbled, wearing an amused smile.
"Do what?" Obi retorted mischievously, hand resting on her thigh.
"Act all timid to be affectionate in front of Qui-Gon," she said, propping herself up on one elbow.
"Well, I don't think you would be so comfortable cuddling like that in front of Guendea," he argued.
"Of course I would," Cadi returned smartly, "she likes you," she teasingly tweaked his nose and jumped off the bed before he could get her back.
"Qui-Gon likes you, it's just that-"
"I know, I know," she cut him off, half knowingly, half jokingly, "it doesn't help your 'alpha male' image."
"Well, yeah," he admitted sheepishly. She tackled him, trapping him beneath the sheets.
"So what is this? A pissing contest or laying in bed with your girlfriend?"
"This is laying in bed with my girlfriend," he said with a grin.
"This is you admitting you're whipped," she teased, straddling him and pretending she had a whip in her hands. "Whip-ah! Whip-ah!" she provided sound effects.
"I am not!" he protested.
"You're not?" she crawled down to come nose-to-nose with him, her body resting on top of his, "Really Obi? Baby? My fuzzy-haired puff muffin?" she brushed over his lips tauntingly, never really kissing him, hands finding their way into places…
Obi moaned softly, "Okay," he confessed, "so I'm whipped."
Cadi sat up with a triumphant smile and began to gloat when the warming aroma of Qui-Gon's famous breakfast began to fill the room. She took a deep whiff of it, "I haven't had Qui-Gon's cooking since the first week I got here," she commented reflectively.
"I bet you he's the best cook in the Temple," Obi said with pride.
"Perhaps," Cadi said, standing up, "but nobody makes flat fritters like Guendea."
"I wouldn't know," Obi admitted, "I've never spent the night in your quarters, now that I think about it," a mischievous glint in his eye.
"Nor will you anytime soon," she grabbed both sides of his tunic and yanked him to his feet. He pouted dramatically, "At least not until I've got my own place," she reassured him devilishly.
"I guess I can live with Qui-Gon's flat fritters," Obi said with an exaggerated sigh.
"Forget the fritters," she said with a shove, "I'd give you something so much better."
"Porkin strips?" he asked playfully. She looked at him in bewilderment.
"Obi-Wan, you've got a one-track mind," she said.
"That's not true!" he exclaimed in defense, "I've got two tracks."
"Yeah? Then switch to the other one," she said sardonically. He looked at her blankly for a second, and then realization crossed his face.
"Oh!" he cried out, then gave her a fiendish grin, "In that case, I can't wait 'til you get your own place," he quickly pinched her butt and kissed her before she could yelp.
"You're a scoundrel," she told him as they made their way out of the room.
"Yep, and you love me for it," he returned with confidence.
***
With a thousand wishes to halt the progress of time, Obi and Cadi watched three days go to two, then one, then zero. During the time, of course, they were inseparable, despite the jarring comments made from their colleagues. The two of them stood together now outside on the docking bay, watching both of their ships being prepped.
"Don't get into trouble," Cadi was saying, trying hard to keep a smile.
"You know me," Obi said teasingly. She reached up to hold his handsome face in her hands, gazing hard and deep into his eyes.
"I mean it," she pouted, "if something were to happen to you-"
"Let's not think about it," he silenced her with a series of soft kisses, "you know I feel the same," he soothed, "and besides, Byss is a whole lot worse than Dathomir…"
"Obi no, not that argument again," she forced another smile as she held him tight. Silently Obi pulled a scrap of paper from a hidden pocket of his tunic and tucked it into her hand. "Hey," she said, "I thought we'd agreed no goodbyes."
"It's not a goodbye," he explained, "it's just something I want you to remember us by."
"This is so- so, cliché of you!" she cried out in amazement, beginning to unfold the paper as he blushed slightly.
"No! No!" he halted her motion, crumpling the paper back into her hand, "Don't open it here," his eyes darted about nervously.
"You're really serious about this thing," she said in realization, then smiled and mussed his hair. "Okay, love," she conceded, "I won't read it 'til much later on, if that's what you want."
"Promise?" he asked earnestly, it was adorable.
"Promise, you mush bug," she tucked the scrap into one of her deeper pockets.
"Padawan Din, Kenobi, your ships are ready for take-off," a young man in a flight suit called to them. They looked at each other, eyes suddenly filling with a thousand emotions. Obi swallowed hard and grasped her hand, beginning the walk forward. They walked on in silence until they came to where they had to separate, Cadi's legs halting as if she were cemented to the ground.
"No," she whispered to herself, "I've still got so much left to say-"
"Save it for next time," Obi forced a smile but heard his voice faltering. He started to back away, their hands still locked, until they were each at arm's length. He tried to slip his hand away from hers, but she grasped his wrist and pulled him all the way back to her.
"No," she said again, "I can't-"
"Then don't," Obi said, trying for all he was worth to stay strong for her, "no goodbyes," he choked back sudden tears, "just an 'I'll see you later' okay?"
Cadi shook her head feverishly, still refusing to release him. With a shuddering sigh Obi sent through the Force a vision of the future to her. It was a beautiful image, one he longed to reach: him walking down the ramp of his ship, her running at top speed to him, then collapsing into each other's arms, both of them safe again. "I love you," Cadi said after the vision ended, finally releasing him from the embrace to look him in the face, "I'll see you later," she choked out.
"Ditto," he touched her cheek with a small smile. They walked backwards from each other, hug turning into clutching arms, clutching arms to wrists, to hands, to fingertips…
And that was all, Obi boarded his ship and Cadi hers. They started up, broke orbit, jumped to lightspeed. Alone with nothing but the mottled view of hyperspace, Cadi pulled the paper from her pocket to read it:
/IPlease take me by the hand, /I
/IIt's so cold out tonight. /I
/II'll put blankets on the bed, I won't turn out the light /I
/IDon't forget to think about me and I won't forget you. /I
/I"I'll write you once a week," she said./I
/I Why does it feel the same to fall in love or break it off? /I
/IAnd if young love is just a game then I must've missed the kickoff. /I
/IDon't depend on me to ever follow through on anything but /I
/II'd go through hell for you and/I
/II haven't been this scared, in a long time. /I
/IAnd I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine: /I
/IBouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody. /I
/IThis world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me. /I
/II'll think about the times she kissed me after class and /I
/IShe put up with my friends, I acted like an ass. /I
/II ditched my lecture to watch the girls play soccer. /I
/IIs my picture still hanging in you locker? /I
/II haven't been this scared in a long time. /I
/IAnd I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine: /I
/IBouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody. /I
/IThis world's an ugly place, but you so beautiful…Cadi/I
/II'll see you later, Obi /I
Storyline: Five years after "Obi Meets His Match," five years pre-TPM. Although I suggest you read "Obi Meets His Match" for a better understanding of this fic, it's not vital. But anyhoo, where was I? Right. Obi is being sent on his first solo mission, which brings his relationship with Cadi to a whole new level. Dedicated to Maroo, because moving sucks and don't we know it.
*Space + Time = Relationship Killer*
Ray's hazel eyes painfully watched as his friend Obi-Wan Kenobi downed yet another shot. He had stopped counting at the tenth glass.
"Okay, I really think you should stop now. Take a break?" he pleaded gently, easing the glass away from Obi with the Force. Glazed blue/green/gray eyes shot at him with quick anger, an easily found mask for what was really bothering him.
"What's wrong with me, Ray?" the voice came hoarsely, sounding tired and stricken with sorrow.
"Obi, come on, just tell me what happened," it was what Ray had been trying to find out all night. Obi had come to his quarters in the late afternoon, absolutely infuriated, but completely silent. The two young men had taken a long, dreary walk, and Obi fell into the sleazy bar they were in now, somewhere on one of the rougher streets of Coruscant. The bartender hadn't even carded them, which he should have, considering they were only 20 and Obi-Wan barely passed for 16. "Obi-Wan," Ray tried again, possible causes of his friend's distress running through his mind. And then it seemed clear: "Does this have something to do with Cadi?"
The eyes shot up again now, only this time there was no anger- instead there was the type of emptiness that only found a person in loss. Ray had his answer.
***
"Because I don't want you to go, damn it! I don't see why you need any further explanation," the frustrated passion in Cadi's voice finally cracked as she crumpled down onto her bed, choking down the approaching tears.
"Cadi, you know I don't have a choice," Obi's composure was failing as well. They had been going on for nearly half an hour now, and she couldn't be making this any harder. Obi sighed shakily as he sat down next to her, running his fingers through her silken black hair, "We knew this day would come- it's part of every Padawan's journey-"
"Don't gimme that shit," the rage came with fresh energy as she stood up again, violet eyes ablaze. And then- her fists clenched, unclenched, and there was a look of surrender there. She hid her face in her hands as she turned away from him, her shoulders heaving with silent sobs only a moment later.
It hurt him to see her like this- this vulnerable- this broken down. Obi closed his eyes for a second, wishing a thousand times over that he could stop her pain. But no, in fact, he was the cause of it.
It was his first solo mission: he would be on Dathomir for a hundred days starting next week. Normally, a Jedi Padawan would be elated to begin his first trip alone, because it meant he was that much closer to becoming a Knight. But Obi's situation was different, because his first solo mission signified the end of his relationship with Cadi, at least for the next hundred days. And after five years together- five years that went by way too quickly for Obi-Wan- an ending such as this seemed impossible. But here he was…
He stood up slowly and approached her, pulling her in for a hug. Her head came to rest on his shoulder, a shuddering breath passing her lips. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, as if never to let him go again. Obi-Wan kissed her temple softly and rocked her in his arms.
"Cadi," he whispered, "my love, my belle, my flame-" he was stopped by a loud sniff from her as she suddenly pulled away. Her fists rose up then, beating helplessly against his collarbone. He took her wrists and hushed her, but she continued to fight until she exhausted herself, burying her face in his robes again. "Please don't make this so hard," Obi swallowed with difficulty as his emotions welled up inside him. /I There is no emotion; there is peace /I he repeated to himself over and over, although it didn't help at all. "Please don't make such a big deal out of it," he begged. He felt anger radiate from her then as she shoved away.
"What the hell am I supposed to make out of it? Huh? You measly piece of fodder-"
"Cadi, don't do this-" he tried to stop her as he hid his face in his hands.
"Don't ever tell me what to do, you have no right to. Not now, not ever again. You know something? I don't know why I ever got involved with you. You promised and you promised and you promised me, and now look-"
"You know as well as I do this is beyond my control, Cadi," Obi heard his voice raising as the anger swelled inside him, "what in space do you want me to do? Because I-"
"Why do I have to keep repeating myself? I told you what I want you to do: I don't want you to go," she repeated the last words slowly, her hands flying up to tug at her hair.
"Well you want the impossible. The Council has decided; I am needed on Dathomir. If I didn't go, my life as a Jedi would be over," Obi knew he had won, and he held his breath as his words hung in the air. Cadi said nothing for a long time, her arms crossed over her chest.
"If you loved me, you wouldn't go," her voice had dropped back down to a normal tone. The plead shocked Obi, and his eyes flared up; but he could tell by the way she was looking at him that this was her last try.
"That's not fair, Cadi, you know it isn't," his calm had returned to him also, and now he waited for a response. She chewed on the inside of her cheek for a long while, and then her arms dropped and she walked away.
"Enjoy your mission, Kenobi," she said between the sliding of the door.
Obi-Wan sat in the silence alone, a cold, hard lump in his throat. In the five years they had been together, Cadi had addressed him by his last name only once before- and he knew what it meant: she had given up.
***
The usually lively eyes of his friend now seemed dead, distant and dispirited as Ray listened to the end of the story. He had been there when Obi and Cadi had begun, and now it looked like things had come full circle, he was now there for their end. Normally avid with things to say, advice to give, Ray sat silently as he searched for helpful words.
"What can I say?" he said aloud, "Hurts to break up." Obi gave a short, bitter laugh and looked away.
"She was stronger," the distraught young man whispered, mostly to himself. Obi rolled his glass between his fingers back and forth, and without warning slammed it down on the counter. He got an annoyed glare from the bartender, and so resumed his calmer rolling. "And you know," he went on, his words barely audible, "all my friends said 'please don't love her'-"
"Obi, look man, we were never-"
"No, no, you were right. I mean, what did I gain?" he paused as if repeating the question silently to himself. He ran his hands through his hair, "and now, I miss her so."
"Obi, if you want to call it a heartache, then you shouldn't regret those things-"
"I miss her," he repeated distantly. Ray sighed with exhaustion.
"If you want the pain to go away," Ray made one final suggestion, "better suck up your pride and admit-" he paused, the words seemed reluctant to pass his lips, mainly because he did not believe them, "you lost her."
"What are you saying?" Obi's voice raised dramatically from nothing, "You're telling me to let her go? Hmm? Move on?"
"No!" Ray shouted back defensively. "Yes," he admitted after a minute, but Obi was already gone. Ray slumped back against his stool, not knowing what else to do.
***
Cadi was not answering her comlink. After silencing his sudden desire to strangle the Temple operator, Obi decided to try her Master instead. He quickened his already-running pace and switched on his comlink again.
"Operator," came the robotic answer.
"Master Guendea Shibby," he barked back at the droid.
"One moment please," the modulated voice said, following by a few clicking noises and then the familiar ringing of a comlink.
"Hello?" Master Guendea, Cadi's teacher, answered after the second ring. Obi rounded a corner, nearly knocking over an elderly Bothan, and raised his comlink to speak.
"Hey Master Shibby," Obi greeted, as friendly as he could manage. But he doubted she wouldn't pick up on how ragged he sounded, "is Cadi with you?" There was slight hesitation on the other end.
"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan," the sympathetic voice came back, "but she was just called down to see Council, why don't you try her comlink?" Obi sensed that the hidden question was why was he calling Guendea to reach Cadi?
"I already have, Master Guendea, she's not answering me," Obi rounded another corner; he was almost back to Temple...
"Really? I wonder why that is," the response was sincere. Obi realized that Cadi had said nothing about their fight to her Master.
"Ahm, it's a long story, actually," he offered her, hoping he wouldn't have to explain.
"You must come up and tell me, there has to be a good reason behind it," from her tone he knew it was pointless to resist.
"I'll be right there," he pocketed the comlink as he entered the elevator.
***
"I don't believe it," the Master said after hearing the story. Obi's head, meanwhile, was preparing to self-destruct. He wanted to go to bed, but knew that if he tried to sleep he would lay there for hours, just thinking about Cadi. Her Master, Guendea Shibby, had always been kind to him. Now she took him in a warm embrace, and for the first time since the fight Obi let himself cry. He felt his tears fall into the folds of the Master's robes as she whispered comfort to him.
"What am I going to do, Master Guendea?" he looked at her with pleading eyes.
"Right now, young Obi-Wan, I think it is best you go home and try to rest. Tonight I will talk to Cadi, and tomorrow you two shall talk again," her gold eyes regarded him sadly. Obi could do nothing but shake his head. Slowly he stepped away, wiping his tears from his face with the sleeve of his robe.
"Master Guendea?" he said as the door slid open for him.
"Yes, Obi-Wan?"
"Would you tell her I love her?" the Master offered him a solemn nod and a final pat on the shoulder.
"I am sure she already knows, my dear. Now go get some rest," the door swished closed behind him, and Obi made his way home.
***
"You're home late," Qui-Gon commented as he heard his Padawan enter their quarters. "Care to tell me where you were this evening?" He did not get an immediate answer, and he sensed there was something seriously wrong with Obi-Wan. "Obi-Wan? Is something wrong?" he voiced the question as he moved into the living room to find the young man stretched out on the couch, staring at the ceiling.
"I really can't tell that story anymore Master, not tonight," the words were unusually deadened for his Padawan, which alarmed Qui even more.
"Very well," Qui surrendered. Gradually he stretched out with the Force to their special Master/Padawan connection, and Obi tiredly shared the memory of the night with him. Swirls of emotions came with it: sadness, fear, anger…but above all there was loss.
"I don't believe it," Qui breathed after the memory ended. Obi just snorted and turned away from him.
"That's what Master Guendea said," he muttered shortly after.
"Well, how can you blame us? Master Guendea and I watched the two of you grow closer and closer together for five years. Nobody, even wise old Masters like her and me, ever even considered a relationship like that ending," Qui stretched out a large hand to comfort Obi, but his Padawan shrugged him off and abruptly stood up.
"I think I'll go to bed now Master," he mumbled and walked off. Qui watched solemnly as Obi was engulfed slowly by the blackness of his bedroom. For a while he sat alone, trying to fully absorb what he had just learned. It was times like this that only confirmed how hard the life of a Jedi really was.
The doorbell was ringing.
***
Cadi wanted to die. Council had just dismissed her with the news that she was off on her first solo mission to Byss in three days. She could barely listen to her briefing because she was thinking about Obi the entire time. Thinking about how she had just put him through hell for leaving her, and now here she was, being ordered to prepare to leave herself.
Nobody was answering the door. On the verge of breakdown, Cadi sat on the floor in front of the door and tucked herself into a ball.
Obi, I'm sorry she thought over and over again.
***
Obi…
Obi had just gotten comfortable for another session of staring at the ceiling when the doorbell rang. Seconds later Qui tapped on his door and came in.
"You might want to answer that," the old Master whispered softly into the dark. He did not answer, only lay there in silence until Qui left. Slowly he slid his legs over the side of his bed and stood up, dragging them in the direction of the door. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his Master slip into his room as he smacked the switch to unlock the door.
Wide violet eyes that were already tearing looked up at him, and suddenly their noses were touching and they were hugging tightly. Disconnected from his actions, Obi took her into his bedroom where they could talk.
***
"You are /Inot/I going to Byss," Obi said sternly as Cadi sat on his bed, staring at the floor.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I don't have a choice."
"Of course you don't," he snapped at her, fatigue and frustration evident in his voice, "but when I said that, it didn't matter."
"Please don't be mad at me," the whisper begged.
"You're right, I shouldn't be, feels terrible, doesn't it? But I am mad, so it's your turn to feel terrible now. Anyway, as I was saying, you are /Inot/I going to Byss, it's a hell of a lot more dangerous than Dathomir, and I-" he could barely control the words coming out of his mouth.
"I love you," she said with audible desperation. Obi had been pacing like a madman, but that halted him dead in his tracks. He planned to yell at her some more, and he raised his finger to point condescendingly at her.
"I-" he found himself stammering. He smacked himself in the face and sighed, "Force! What am I doing? I love you too, Cadi," the last words barely made it out of his mouth as he fell onto the bed beside her, simultaneously wrapping his arms around her to kiss her. Cadi tried hard to reciprocate, but she had to break away to let out a sob.
"Obi-Wan I'm so sorry," she whispered as she wiped away her tears. Suddenly she laughed, "You think I've cried enough today?" she asked him, trying to smile.
"I've never seen you cry before," he admitted as he gently kissed away the last of her tears.
"Yeah, well, first time for everything," from the weight of her words Obi knew that whatever argument they had died there. Waves of relief enveloping him, he gently brushed back her hair as they held a long gaze.
"So are we okay now?" he said tentatively. Cadi heaved a big sigh and flopped down on the bed, her lower legs dangling over the edge.
"Let's not talk about it anymore," she breathed, "let's talk about something happier."
"Like what?" Obi couldn't help but laugh a little as he copied her reclined position. Once he'd comfortably laced his fingers behind his head, Cadi shifted so that her head came to rest on his chest.
"Oh, I don't know…" she trailed off absently.
"Did I ever tell you what I first thought when we met?" he said with a big yawn.
"If it's something bad I'll sock you," she said mock-threateningly.
"I thought 'Oh no it happened again, she's cool, she's hot, she's my friend…'" he began one of their favorite songs. Cadi smiled in memory.
"I hope, hope that it lasts," she sang quietly, "Give in, forget the past…"
"Be strong when things fall apart," he stroked her hair.
"Honest, this breaks my heart," she whispered, realizing the relevance of the song.
"Why did we have to go date," he tickled her playfully.
"It's too easy to complicate," she retorted by tugging at a stray piece of chest hair that had escaped from his tunic.
"Ouch!" he exclaimed, grabbing her suddenly. She yelped and play-fought with him, but he had her pinned this time. Their laughter subsided into a long period of simply kissing, both of them taking in the memory of the other.
"Obi," Cadi whispered after a long time, "it's really late-"
"Shhhh, Qui-Gon's asleep," he whispered back as he continued to kiss his way down her neck.
"Don't you think I should go home?" she asked as quietly as she could. He looked up at her, his fingers tracing over her face in the darkened room.
"Stay with me tonight?" he murmured back softly. Cadi gazed at his faint, unlit face, how could she say no?
"Alright," she said at last, sealing the deal with a long, hard kiss. He resumed what he was doing, and before long Cadi felt one of his hands running down her side…
"Obi-Wan, no," she whispered nervously. He looked at her for a long moment, "not like this," she said into the silence. He regarded her a second longer, and then shifted his weight so that he lay next to her.
"Okay," he conceded softly with understanding in his voice, instead taking her hand in his as he pulled her close.
"Let's wait until we see each other again," she sighed, her muscles relaxing into his plush bed.
"Hush, let's just sleep now," he whispered as he pulled the sheets around them. "I love you, Cadi," he said into the silence.
"I love you too, Obi," Cadi returned, but she could already hear soft snores in her ear, his breath warm and sweet against her neck. As Cadi pulled his hand closer to her heart, she wished things would never change between them.
***
Qui-Gon awoke to a beeping comlink in his ear. He switched it on between yawns and forced himself to sit up.
"Hello?" he said sleepily.
"Good morning, Master Qui-Gon, sorry to wake you," Master Guendea greeted him on the other end.
"That's alright, Guendea, what can I do for you?" already guessing what she was going to ask about, Qui got up to check on Obi-Wan.
"Well, how should I put this?" there was an audible amount of concern in her voice, "Cadi never came home last night, and-"
"No need to worry," Qui soothed as he popped his head into his Padawan's room. Sure enough, both of them were there, sound asleep beside each other, "she's here with us. Sorry we didn't tell you earlier."
"Oh," the Master on the other end seemed to release the breath she'd been absently holding, "I guess that's okay, as long as she's in good hands."
"With Obi-Wan? Always," he said reassuringly, beginning to wonder if the two Padawans had worked things out…
"Mm, young love," was the thoughtful response, "bye for now then."
"Talk to you later Guendea," Qui switched off the comlink and approached a sleeping Obi-Wan. The young couple was a laughable tangled mass of sheets and limbs, Cadi clinging tightly to Obi-Wan's neck and he with his arms around the small of her back. Qui-Gon easily touched his Padawan's forehead and brought him back to consciousness.
"Good morning Master," the young man said groggily, unable to turn and face Qui because of his entanglement.
"Likewise, Obi-Wan. I hope the two of you have resolved the conflict?" he inquired tentatively.
"Oh yes, Master, very much so," Obi's eyes turned onto a still-sleeping Cadi. He carefully shifted one arm, bringing his hand to her forehead and copying Qui-Gon's earlier action. Sleepy purple eyes met him, along with a faint smile.
"Good, that is pleasing to hear," Qui commended, beaming contently at them.
"What's pleasing to hear?" Cadi asked as she released Obi to rub the sleep from her eyes.
"That we've worked things out," Obi explained, audibly relieved to be saying so.
"Oh," Cadi mumbled, snuggling in closer to him. Obi's cheeks flushed a little as he threw Qui a helpless/embarrassed look. Qui suppressed his laughter and stepped out of the room.
"Breakfast will be ready soon," he announced as the door slid closed.
"You're so cute when you do that," Cadi mumbled, wearing an amused smile.
"Do what?" Obi retorted mischievously, hand resting on her thigh.
"Act all timid to be affectionate in front of Qui-Gon," she said, propping herself up on one elbow.
"Well, I don't think you would be so comfortable cuddling like that in front of Guendea," he argued.
"Of course I would," Cadi returned smartly, "she likes you," she teasingly tweaked his nose and jumped off the bed before he could get her back.
"Qui-Gon likes you, it's just that-"
"I know, I know," she cut him off, half knowingly, half jokingly, "it doesn't help your 'alpha male' image."
"Well, yeah," he admitted sheepishly. She tackled him, trapping him beneath the sheets.
"So what is this? A pissing contest or laying in bed with your girlfriend?"
"This is laying in bed with my girlfriend," he said with a grin.
"This is you admitting you're whipped," she teased, straddling him and pretending she had a whip in her hands. "Whip-ah! Whip-ah!" she provided sound effects.
"I am not!" he protested.
"You're not?" she crawled down to come nose-to-nose with him, her body resting on top of his, "Really Obi? Baby? My fuzzy-haired puff muffin?" she brushed over his lips tauntingly, never really kissing him, hands finding their way into places…
Obi moaned softly, "Okay," he confessed, "so I'm whipped."
Cadi sat up with a triumphant smile and began to gloat when the warming aroma of Qui-Gon's famous breakfast began to fill the room. She took a deep whiff of it, "I haven't had Qui-Gon's cooking since the first week I got here," she commented reflectively.
"I bet you he's the best cook in the Temple," Obi said with pride.
"Perhaps," Cadi said, standing up, "but nobody makes flat fritters like Guendea."
"I wouldn't know," Obi admitted, "I've never spent the night in your quarters, now that I think about it," a mischievous glint in his eye.
"Nor will you anytime soon," she grabbed both sides of his tunic and yanked him to his feet. He pouted dramatically, "At least not until I've got my own place," she reassured him devilishly.
"I guess I can live with Qui-Gon's flat fritters," Obi said with an exaggerated sigh.
"Forget the fritters," she said with a shove, "I'd give you something so much better."
"Porkin strips?" he asked playfully. She looked at him in bewilderment.
"Obi-Wan, you've got a one-track mind," she said.
"That's not true!" he exclaimed in defense, "I've got two tracks."
"Yeah? Then switch to the other one," she said sardonically. He looked at her blankly for a second, and then realization crossed his face.
"Oh!" he cried out, then gave her a fiendish grin, "In that case, I can't wait 'til you get your own place," he quickly pinched her butt and kissed her before she could yelp.
"You're a scoundrel," she told him as they made their way out of the room.
"Yep, and you love me for it," he returned with confidence.
***
With a thousand wishes to halt the progress of time, Obi and Cadi watched three days go to two, then one, then zero. During the time, of course, they were inseparable, despite the jarring comments made from their colleagues. The two of them stood together now outside on the docking bay, watching both of their ships being prepped.
"Don't get into trouble," Cadi was saying, trying hard to keep a smile.
"You know me," Obi said teasingly. She reached up to hold his handsome face in her hands, gazing hard and deep into his eyes.
"I mean it," she pouted, "if something were to happen to you-"
"Let's not think about it," he silenced her with a series of soft kisses, "you know I feel the same," he soothed, "and besides, Byss is a whole lot worse than Dathomir…"
"Obi no, not that argument again," she forced another smile as she held him tight. Silently Obi pulled a scrap of paper from a hidden pocket of his tunic and tucked it into her hand. "Hey," she said, "I thought we'd agreed no goodbyes."
"It's not a goodbye," he explained, "it's just something I want you to remember us by."
"This is so- so, cliché of you!" she cried out in amazement, beginning to unfold the paper as he blushed slightly.
"No! No!" he halted her motion, crumpling the paper back into her hand, "Don't open it here," his eyes darted about nervously.
"You're really serious about this thing," she said in realization, then smiled and mussed his hair. "Okay, love," she conceded, "I won't read it 'til much later on, if that's what you want."
"Promise?" he asked earnestly, it was adorable.
"Promise, you mush bug," she tucked the scrap into one of her deeper pockets.
"Padawan Din, Kenobi, your ships are ready for take-off," a young man in a flight suit called to them. They looked at each other, eyes suddenly filling with a thousand emotions. Obi swallowed hard and grasped her hand, beginning the walk forward. They walked on in silence until they came to where they had to separate, Cadi's legs halting as if she were cemented to the ground.
"No," she whispered to herself, "I've still got so much left to say-"
"Save it for next time," Obi forced a smile but heard his voice faltering. He started to back away, their hands still locked, until they were each at arm's length. He tried to slip his hand away from hers, but she grasped his wrist and pulled him all the way back to her.
"No," she said again, "I can't-"
"Then don't," Obi said, trying for all he was worth to stay strong for her, "no goodbyes," he choked back sudden tears, "just an 'I'll see you later' okay?"
Cadi shook her head feverishly, still refusing to release him. With a shuddering sigh Obi sent through the Force a vision of the future to her. It was a beautiful image, one he longed to reach: him walking down the ramp of his ship, her running at top speed to him, then collapsing into each other's arms, both of them safe again. "I love you," Cadi said after the vision ended, finally releasing him from the embrace to look him in the face, "I'll see you later," she choked out.
"Ditto," he touched her cheek with a small smile. They walked backwards from each other, hug turning into clutching arms, clutching arms to wrists, to hands, to fingertips…
And that was all, Obi boarded his ship and Cadi hers. They started up, broke orbit, jumped to lightspeed. Alone with nothing but the mottled view of hyperspace, Cadi pulled the paper from her pocket to read it:
/IPlease take me by the hand, /I
/IIt's so cold out tonight. /I
/II'll put blankets on the bed, I won't turn out the light /I
/IDon't forget to think about me and I won't forget you. /I
/I"I'll write you once a week," she said./I
/I Why does it feel the same to fall in love or break it off? /I
/IAnd if young love is just a game then I must've missed the kickoff. /I
/IDon't depend on me to ever follow through on anything but /I
/II'd go through hell for you and/I
/II haven't been this scared, in a long time. /I
/IAnd I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine: /I
/IBouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody. /I
/IThis world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me. /I
/II'll think about the times she kissed me after class and /I
/IShe put up with my friends, I acted like an ass. /I
/II ditched my lecture to watch the girls play soccer. /I
/IIs my picture still hanging in you locker? /I
/II haven't been this scared in a long time. /I
/IAnd I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine: /I
/IBouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody. /I
/IThis world's an ugly place, but you so beautiful…Cadi/I
/II'll see you later, Obi /I