Kissed by the Wind: Dante's Rose
by: Karin
shinigamis_wings@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: I knew this was the reason I was writing this. I get to claim some characters. Not many, but Dante is my little creation, and so is Kitayori. And Yoru Tsukai is mine too. I wouldn't have claimed him, but he got a lot cooler all of a sudden because I gave him a name. What do you know about that? As for everyone else, lines, situations, places, etc., were taken from Gundam Wing and don't belong to me. And the song "Etcetera, Whatever" was not written by me either. But it fit rather well.
Summary: I know the Dante Trilogy is supposed to be a trilogy, but while chatting with Jilly-chan she gave me the most splendid idea and I just had to write an epilogue, or can it be the Dante Quartet now? The Dante Trilogy plus one? Er, what time is it? Anyway, this is going to be serious, honest, I'm going to see what would happen when Taikai starts wondering about his past . . .more specifically, about his father. *plays spooky music* *slaps herself. .Karin! Serious now!! You need to focus!* Hai master subconscious. *mutters* She never lets me have any fun. *ahem* oh let's just get on with it!
*Don't speak. Words come out your eyes. You're wet with this nightmare.*
He heard the cries through the drowsy haze of midnight. Heard the cries through the cloud of sleep. Heard the cries of a thousand tortured nights being relived in flashes of agony. Loneliness, frustration, loss, sorrow, and more, each strained soft cry expressing more emotion than any of a million words possibly could hope to begin to describe. Those were the cries of his poor mother, Dante. Dante, who lived on only by breathing the scent of the ocean salt, and watching the tide rise and flow in the eyes of her son.
Her footsteps were in the hall now, hurried and desperate, rushing into his room to assure herself that he was still there. Every night. She needed to do this every night. He closed his eyes, allowing her to believe that he was still peacefully dreaming, that she hadn't woken up, that her pain was still safely hidden from him, the way she was still trying to keep his past from him. The door opened and closed, and little circulation of air told him that she was kneeling at his bedside, watching the moon shine over his face. Her lips were soft and gentle on his forehead, though a teardrop fell onto his cheek and her breathing was harsh in relief.
"I'd thought I had lost you again," she murmured, not knowing he could hear her. "But they won't ever take you back, Taikai. I won't let them take you away from me." Taikai had no idea who "they" were, no recollection of anything before Dante's teary eyed smiling face above him in the hospital room, where she had said she loved him. There was a past here that he could not get her to say, despite the number of questions he had asked. She always shook her head, smiling sadly.
"Leave the past in the past," she always said, her hand gently on his arm. Exactly over an old bullet scar, one of many. "Where it belongs." But she didn't leave the past behind, she went through it every night, trying her best to keep it from him, and laughing away his questioning eyes when he found her in the morning on his bedroom floor.
*Like thorns you hold these secrets to your breast, your slender fingers closing into fists*
But not tonight. It was time to change this routine, before his mother destroyed herself by keeping these horrible secrets. And they must be truly horrible, or she wouldn't be so reticent. She shared everything with him, everything except what he really wanted to know. He sat up, choking off her sobs as she jerked in surprise.
"Dante," he whispered softly, holding out his arms and beckoning her up onto the bed so he could hold her, protect her, chase away her shadows. He called her by her first name, always, something inside of him not being able to call her mother out loud. He didn't understand why, but that was how it went. "What was it?" His soft tones and gentle embrace only made her sob harder, pressing herself against him as if it would kill her to be too far away. This, he thought, was the real reason he hadn't gone on with his life yet. This was the reason he still lived at home, with no thoughts of ever finding a girlfriend or starting a family of his own. He had to fix the one he had first, and she was tearing herself apart. "Tell me," he pleaded, helplessness being the one emotion he couldn't stand above all others. Sorrow, hate, anger, he could handle all of those, even all at once. But to feel useless was the worst of all.
"Just a bad dream," she hiccuped, looking very small and child-like curled up against him. "A very bad dream, but it's over now." He shook his head. Why wouldn't she tell him what it was? What was so terrible that she had to keep it locked away where it was doing her so much damage? Put the burden on me, Mom. I'm stronger than you are, we can share it together. You don't have to take it all alone.
"What made it so bad?" She shuddered, looking out at the ocean through the window as if beseeching it for strength.
*Trace your bruise like a guilty streak. Hold the pain. You're a connoisseur.*
Her fingers trailed over his arm until they came to rest on the old bullet graze. The small scar, flanked by tiny pinpricks where it had been sewn together, that she always looked at when she didn't want to tell him something.
"Where did I get that scar?" He'd asked the first time she had done it, and she blushed.
"You were a soldier," was the only thing she said. "Doubtless you were shot sometime during the war." But the way she uttered the phrase, so rehearsed, left him without a doubt that this was far from the truth. Sure, he had been a soldier, but he couldn't have been an ordinary soldier. He'd had dreams of his own, and they didn't match with her explanations.
"I couldn't find you," she murmured against his sleep shirt. "You were lost amidst a thousand mobile suits. That's all it was, Taikai." There was his name again. She always said it unnecessarily, sometimes saying it for no reason at all to herself. It was as if she were trying to reassure herself that it was indeed his name. She herself had given it to him, what was there to fear that it wouldn't be his? He shook his head again.
"How long?" He asked out loud, bringing her attention and dark blue eyes back up to consider him. "How long are you going to keep this from me? Don't I deserve to know?" But seeing what it did to her, did he really want to know?
"Keep what from you, Taikai?" Her question was innocent, but the fear in her voice betrayed her.
"What I really did during the war. Why you always trace this scar. Who gave you that faded yellow flower you keep in that book. Who was I before I was your son?" Her small body tensed, ever tighter with every question. He'd asked them before, numerous times, but never all at once and never with such force. It has to be out in the open, he told himself, no more secrets or it will kill her. He shook her, trying to get the answers from her that way. "Tell me!"
"Heero Yuy," she muttered the name as she would a curse, but his body responded as if she had uttered his own name, Taikai Kitayori. "Ask Heero Yuy, he knows all the answers." His mouth dropped open. He knew the name. Why did he know the name?
"Who is he? Where can I find him?" She was finally giving up a bit of information.
"He's dead so let your questions die with him. Please Taikai, trust me, you don't want them answered. Just let it alone. Be content with what you have now." She pushed herself away from him, standing to return to the darkness of her own room, not wanting to say anymore. But he wasn't content. He did want to know. Heero Yuy. A Japanese name, and something that he should know. He knew there was nothing in the house from the past except that book with the faded yellow flower, so he would have to seek out his answers in a different way.
*You think you have no other gift to give, but we have so much left to live.*
There were a few things that he had taken with him from his experience as a soldier. He'd retained the ability to put things together quickly and effectively, and other reflexes that surprised him. But the most important thing that the head injury had not taken from him was his superb computer searching skills. His quick fingers and quicker mind allowing him to research information and erase any documentation of it with a few keystrokes.
His mother was out for her morning swim in the ocean. She'd asked if he wanted to join her, and looked disappointed when he declined. Perhaps she thought he was still upset with her for keeping secrets from him. But in truth he just wanted to look up Heero Yuy without her knowing. This was his secret. This is what he would find out. Without her if necessary, though he wished she would just tell him and save him from having to do this without her permission. Maybe finding out who Heero Yuy was would lead him to find out who he was. . .and then maybe even who his father was.
That was something else that Dante never spoke about. Taikai's father was a subject that was never discussed. The first time he had ever mentioned it, during their first few days together when he was relearning who he was, her trembling hands made her drop the vase of flowers she was setting out. Roses they had been. She had knelt, her black hair hiding her face, but Taikai knew that her tears were mixed in with the vase water despite not seeing them fall. Had he died? Had he been a soldier too? What was it about his absence that caused such a reaction? Curiosity burned within as she picked up the roses, careful not to allow one petal to be cut on the glass shards, but not being as careful with her own hands.
"He's dead," she whispered over the broken vase. "Never ask again."
He never had asked again. Not that particular question. He'd asked instead why she treasured the yellow flower she kept pressed in a book on her bedside table. Had Heero Yuy given it to her? Had his father? Was his father Heero Yuy? Was that the connection? Surely Dante would never have mentioned Taikai's father's name in the house, ever. He'd just have to keep searching.
"Heero Yuy," he whispered at the computer as an old newspaper article flashed onto the screen. He leaned close, scanning a picture of a large, blurred crowd, most of the faces reflecting disbelief and shock. "Colony President Assassinated on Earth" read the heading in bold letters. Colony president? Of course! That's why he knew the name. It was the death of this man that had led to the war to begin with. The war he had fought in. He felt foolish, but oddly dissatisfied. That was the reason he knew the name, but it wasn't the reason either. There was something else. He skipped through the article, wondering how long of a swim his mother would be taking that morning, and how much he could find out before she came back inside. He was just about to go onto another article about the murder, when he saw something that he knew very well. That being his own name.
"Yuy," the article read. "Was attended by Yoru Tsukai and Kitayori of Colony L1. They have assured authorities that military action may not be necessary if the murderer of the president can be brought in." It drawled on, but Taikai was no longer paying attention. Kitayori? His father's name? Why did he have no last name? Or first name rather. He looked more closely at the photograph, seeing for the first time the two men standing protectively before the crowd, keeping them back with outstretched arms. One was short and dark, a stern expression on his features. The other was taller, more handsome, with Taikai's own untidy hair. It was like looking into a mirror. So his father was a colony man, Heero Yuy's body guard. All right. But what had happened after that day? What had he done? Where had he gone? Wait, there was someone else in that picture. Hunched over a sprawled body that could be none other than the wounded president, was his own mother. His mother had been there. She had held the dying man in her lap. She had met his father the day that the colony president died. He didn't know if that was irony or not. So what had happened after that? Obviously they had gotten married, or had they? So Heero Yuy was the reason his parents were his parents. But what did he have to do with anything else? What other part of Taikai's past did this man play in? There would be time for him later. Right now Taikai was more interested in his father. Was he really dead?
He did another search, coming up with a different article this time. Something about a revolution of the colony men, and a mob riot. There were shots fired, and only one killed. Kitayori. There was mention made of Heero Yuy's death, and how the actions taken now for revenge would lead to war if allowed to continue. How the colonies should take the warning shots and death of one of their own and just stay peaceful. There was a quote from Yoru Tsukai, who apparently had been with Kitayori when he was shot. The body was taken to the local hospital, which, Taikai noticed with a touch of surprise, was owned by the Alliance military. The mention of the Alliance made a trace of anger rise in him. So he had been fighting on the colonies' side in the war, he guessed. There was just one more thing that he had to find out. Something that this Yoru Tsukai might know. Why was Dante keeping these past occurrences from him? Why did they have to be secrets? Just one thing he needed to find now. How to get in contact with Yoru Tsukai.
*We don't need a lot of money. We'll be sleeping on the beach, keeping oceans within reach. Whatever private oceans we can conjure up for free.*
Dante breathed deep of the ocean air, crouched in the sand and allowing the waves to sweep over her ankles. The morning sun was drying her hair and skin, leaving behind the tiny particles of salt. She breathed again, feeling a wonderful sense of belonging. This was where she was meant to stay. The wind had been her husband, but the ocean wind was her son.
Her deep breathing turned into a sigh. Her son. Her son who she protected from the past, and kept from him the truth. She'd wanted just to leave it all behind, and forget, but it haunted her. The guilt she felt from keeping it from him. The terror she felt when she woke up in the night and found herself alone. The sorrow when she thought that it would soon be time for Taikai to leave her again, of his own free will, to start his own life. She wasn't ready for that. Perhaps if she had had more time with him from the start she would have been more ready for him to go, but it hadn't happened that way. And what would be left of her when he was gone? What was there left for her without him? She didn't need anything in the world, not money, not power, not a single thing, except the ocean. She needed Taikai more than anything else in the world, but she could never explain to him why it was this way for fear that he would lose the light in his eyes.
*I will stumble there with you and you'll be laughing close with me, trying not to make a scene. Etcetera, whatever.*
When she came in he was seated at his computer, scribbling something on an envelope. She slipped up behind him to investigate what he was researching, and gave herself away with a gasp. She knew that man, that face that stared up at her from the screen. It was the man who had tried to help her escape from Dr. J. What did Taikai want with him? How had he found out about him? What did he know?
"Dante," he soothed after turning to find her behind him. He stood, powerful and dark, hiding the screen with his body and taking her by the shoulders. She looked up at his eyes, his ocean blue eyes, and saw them shine with knowing. "It's all right."
"What's all right?" She demanded, wanting to break away from his grasp. "What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking that I know why you might have kept this from me. I'm thinking that I wasn't only a soldier, and I'm thinking of looking for Yoru Tsukai to ask about Kitayori. Because I'm thinking he might not be dead." Her heart stopped. Why would he do such a thing? Kit was dead! He had to be. If he wasn't, why hadn't he come back? She shook her head, closing her eyes against the thought. How could he do this to her? Why did he bring up what she had tried so hard to protect him from? Didn't he understand how terrible those memories were? Didn't he realize that there were certain things about his past that she would much rather forget. Things she didn't want to talk about, and things she didn't want him to know. She didn't want to entertain any thoughts of Kit being alive. That would mean that he had abandoned her to Dr. J. That meant he might have brought her to the colonies on purpose, specifically for that reason. Thinking that she was nothing but an experiment made something inside burn, and it didn't get any better when she heard Taikai laugh softly. What on earth was so funny? How dare he mock her pain? How could he possibly understand all she went through for him? How could he possibly understand anything when he'd never been told?
She looked up, angry, only to find him staring down in sympathy. The laugh hadn't been mocking, it was a sad and soothing sound made by someone who didn't know what else to do but to stand still, holding her, and to laugh. She wondered if it was the war that made him that way, or if it was something he had inherited from his father. She paused just long enough to wonder if Kit ever laughed softly when something was wrong. Taikai took her silence for anger at him.
*I guess all I really mean is we're gonna be alright. Yeah, we're gonna be alright.*
"I'm sorry, Dante," he apologized, folding the envelope and sticking it into his back pocket. "I shouldn't have done this without you knowing, but I am going to find Yoru Tsukai. If you're coming, then come, if not I'll go by myself."
"You'd leave me?" She looked at him in disbelief. This was almost like having Heero back. Heero who did things on his own, for his own, because all he had was his own. Not Taikai who had a family and a home and a name that belonged to him. What did he lack? Dante bit her lip. He lacked a father, and he was going to look for him. But why? They'd lived together for a year. It had been a year since the war had ended. A whole year and he had only asked after his father once, and only once. Why did he suddenly think he might be still alive? But that wasn't even the main question for her. The main question was why was she allowing herself to hope that he might be right?
"I don't want to leave you, Dante," he brought her out of her musings. "That's why I asked you to come along, but whether together or alone we have to find out these secrets. It's killing you to keep them yourself, and it would hurt even worse for you to tell them to me out loud. But if I go looking for myself, maybe we can move away. And you can leave your secrets in the ocean and start over. What do you say?" He made so much sense. Of course he would. He had been Heero Yuy, after all. She winced at the name, but the logic was still there. "It'll be all right."
*You can close your eyes tonight, 'cause we're gonna be alright.*
The soft light from the space shuttle ceiling shone delicately over Dante's delicate features while Taikai watched her. She had fallen asleep as a defense reflex, when she could no longer bear to speak to him about Kitayori. Not that she'd said much, nothing he hadn't found out from the article, but she had said it and he had listened.
"You look like him," were the last words she'd been able to mutter before turning away from him, to the aisle, and closing her eyes.
As she slept he pondered again his reasons for this peculiar mission. He had only meant to find Yoru to ask about his father. Had Kitayori known he had a son? Why had he left Dante so unprotected and alone? Was there a good reason? War politics or something equally important. His mother must have loved him, or her eyes would not take on that shine whenever she heard his name. There must have been a good reason. That's why he wanted to find Yoru. He had to know that reason. He just had to know about the man who owned the gravestone burden Dante carried on her shoulders. He had to know about the roses, and the pressed flower in the bedside book. Yoru might not even know, but it was worth a chance. He had been there where Dante had not. He would know what had happened to Kit.
He didn't know why he had brought up the chance that Kitayori might be alive. Perhaps it had been to see his mother's reaction, to try and trick her into giving up a secret. He hadn't known what, just anything that might hint that her previous outburst of, "He's dead!" might have been a lie. Because he wanted it to be a lie. He wanted Kitayori to be alive. He wanted to have a father, and he wanted a husband to take care of his mother because he simply couldn't do it forever.
"Go ahead and sleep, Dante," he whispered to her, soothing her bad dreams away. "We'll unravel this and then we can return to your ocean. You'll never see space again." That was something else. Dante had lived on the colonies before, that's where he had been born, but she hated them. Earth, she always said, was where she belonged, close to the ocean and far away from the stars.
*So come on now, I can almost see that place on a distant shore.*
The colony was so different when compared to earth, Taikai noticed as he walked down the streets, looking at the crowded houses. There were no lawns, only artificially created parks towards the center of the structure. That's why Dante hated it so much. Taikai looked about him, and decided that he didn't care either way. What difference did the scenery make when he had something important to do? And that thought, he decided, was from the soldier that was still inside somewhere.
He'd left his mother at the hotel that morning. She didn't know that he had left, and he thought it better that way. He had invited her to come, but that was before he saw how badly her hands shook when she thought of anything that had to do with his father, or the war, or the colonies. She knew Yoru Tsukai, too, from somewhere, another dark night of an even darker past. For her to see him again might not be the best thing for her to experience, and it gave Taikai purpose to shield her from anything harmful. And that, he also decided, was the soldier again. Being in this colony made all of his soldier instincts come back, in full force. It was as though the colony enhanced all his senses, the artificial grass was a brighter green, each singular leaf standing out in vivid detail. Every slight sound echoed in his mind and the rhythm of his heartbeat was in perfect sync with his footsteps. Had he been stationed here perhaps? On this very colony? Trained here? Maybe even born here?
The address he had managed to find was located close to the park. A typical, stark, and dull colony structure with no curtains in the windows, and no welcome mat on the doorstep. Taikai hesitated only briefly before knocking out his presence, going over in his head again what he was going to ask.
The Japanese man's dark eyes flashed surprise once the door was opened and he stood before Taikai. His mouth moved without sound, then he grabbed Taikai's hand in a fierce grip, pulling him inside the house with force.
"It's you," he kept repeating, sitting him down in a cozy living room. "I can't believe you came back. It's you." It was everything that Taikai had hoped. Yoru knew him! Obviously, he knew him, and had to know something else about him and his father. "Did your mother find you? Oh, I tried to help you to begin with, but she disappeared and then they had her again. She went to find you on earth after the war." His words were so rushed, as if he'd been waiting years to speak them and now had to get them all out at once. "I'm so sorry I wasn't able to save you, Heero." Taikai stopped short in the process of nodding. Heero?
"Taikai," he corrected, gazing curiously at the other man as he sat across from him.
"Right, of course. She would have called you something else. I'm sorry about that." Yoru nodded, repeating Taikai's name and smiling softly.
"Why did you call me Heero?" This was what he really wanted to know. Heero Yuy was the colony president, but it was him too? How did this work? Yoru seemed surprised all over again, then he laughed.
"She didn't tell you anything did she? And you can't remember I suppose? No, I guess not. Lucky to be alive after what happened to your Gundam, I'd say."
"My Gundam?" Oh yes, this visit was indeed very profitable. Yoru was more than happy to answer any questions Taikai might have. And it didn't make his hands shake to talk about it, nor did he say anything in short bursts of pained information like Dante, but long elaborate and very informative explanations.
"You were a soldier, do you remember being a soldier? But you were better than a soldier, you were the perfect soldier." Images began flashing across Taikai's mind. A cockpit. A Gundam cockpit perhaps? Stars whizzing by as he stared from a window of a space shuttle. Flames rising up into the night from military bases. And an image of an elite mobile suit, his Gundam. Wing Zero. "You were trained that way from the moment you could walk, and even before. Dr. J trained you, and he named you Heero Yuy as your codename. Remember?" He did, in a certain fashion. So that's why Dante never told him. She didn't want to remember herself, and he had been someone else other than her son, someone she wanted both of them to forget. Yoru was shaking his head now, as if sorry for something.
"I tried to get your mom out. Tried to help her escape while she was pregnant. I don't know what the colonies would have done if they hadn't had you to fight for them. But your father did not want such a fate for you." Taikai sat up a little straighter, focusing intently on Yoru, waiting for what he would say about Kitayori.
"You were with my father when he died weren't you? That's the real reason I came to you, Mr. Tsukai. I don't care what happened in my past, although what you've told me has cleared up many questions I've always wanted to have answered, but I really do want to know what happened to my father." Yoru scratched his head, his talkative attitude subsiding as he considered the question. Sighing, he got up to retrieve something from an office room down a hall, bringing back with him a black binder.
"I was with your father when he was shot," he began as he sat back down. "But I was not with him when he died. He told me to find your mother, and to take care of her, and then the Alliance men came and took him into the hospital. They wouldn't allow me in to see him, said he was going to die. Said Treize Khushrenada was talking to him, something private that I couldn't hear. Can you imagine? Treize Khushrenada. And when he got done, they said that Kit was already dead and it was pointless to see him now. They promised to send the body to his widow, and they might have, but she wasn't there if they did. Dr. J had taken her to where your father worked by then."
"My father worked for Dr. J?" Had that been why he had been trained by him? "What did he do?" Again Yoru shook his head.
"He was a magician, your father. He was the main engineer and mechanic for the Gundam 01. The one you flew to Earth. It was the only one he ever started. He had plans for something bigger, more elaborate, but Dr. J said it was too dangerous for something so experimental. Wanted to let you take it and find out what it could do first. Then if all went well they were going to build the other one for you to use. But they never got the chance. Kit was dead and the only way the Gundam 01 was finished was by this binder." Which was now being handed to Taikai, who took it carefully in his fingertips, almost afraid of touching it. These were his father's notes, his father's handwriting, his father's work. The plans for the 01, the Gundam he had taken to Earth. His father had built it, or started building it anyway. The maneuvering ability, the buster rifle, the transformation into a space craft, all of these had been designed by his father, with some help from the scientists of course.
"But there were other Gundams," he said softly, still looking at the plans. "The Deathscythe," names were coming from his mouth without him really realizing what he was saying. Pieces of remembered past that were coming up now that he was looking down at the blueprints for his weapon. "Heavyarms, Sandrock, Shenlong. Who designed those? Who built those?" Yoru just shrugged.
"Who could tell? The scientists were all together you know, but they were separated and built the Gundams by themselves. They could have found another mechanic to build them on another colony. Who can say?" He might have talked on, but Taikai was no longer paying much attention. He was thumbing through the blueprints. There were more here than for just the 01. For the other perhaps? The one Dr. J hadn't allowed Kitayori to build? Yes, that must be what this new one was. It was sleek, similar head structure to the 01, but larger wings extending from the shoulders. There was a beam saber, but instead of a buster rifle it held in the other hand a long electric whip. It looked vaguely familiar, the style and weaponry reminded him of something he might have fought or flown, he couldn't remember which, or even if it might have been both.
"Why was the other Gundam never built?" He asked of a sudden, cutting off Yoru's mutterings. He got another shrug.
"I guess Dr. J just didn't want it done. I don't think he and Kit really agreed on it. Dr. J thought it wasn't ethical, or something close to that. Thought it was too dangerous and should never be used, let alone built. The Gundam was bad enough, but to enhance it like Kit was thinking was beyond what Dr. J was willing to do to anyone. Even you." Taikai continued studying the nameless mobile suit Gundam, wondering why it was so dangerous.
"How is Dante?" Yoru finally asked, watching Taikai carefully. "We never heard from her after she left."
"She lives on, but not because she wants to. She didn't want me to come to you. Didn't want me to find out who I was and who my father was. Wanted to protect me, I guess."
"You take care of her. You will won't you?"
"Yes. She's the reason I came. I want us to get on, and we can't do that if she can't leave this behind."
"They were not kind to her. I think I understand a bit how she feels, but I could never go through what she did. She was a prisoner for seventeen years you know. Dr. J kept her locked away so she couldn't tell you who she was." Taikai fingered the bullet graze on his arm. He remembered Dante being there with Dr. J. Remembered how she had helped him after his first mission had gone out of control. He remembered how she had stitched up the wound after a particularly difficult training session. She'd never said a word of who she was. No wonder he remembered almost nothing about her except her sad eyes. And he was the one who had given her that faded flower in the book. Why was she keeping it? He didn't really understand, but now that he knew what it was, he supposed it didn't really matter.
"Speaking of Dante," Taikai said, standing up with the binder. "I'd better get back to her. She'll be wondering why I'm not there. May I take this with me?" He held up the binder.
"Consider it yours." He was ushered to the door, wished a farewell and then he was on his way back to the motel, his nose deep into the binder. What was this suit? It had never been built, but he still thought it was very familiar. He cursed that head wound that had taken all of his soldier memories away. One blow to the head that had erased all of the war, all of himself as Heero Yuy. Perhaps that's why his mother looked at him the way she did sometimes. As if he were someone else. Maybe that was when he was being like Heero instead of Taikai. He turned another page, giving up on being able to remember the name of the suit, not that it would help him any if he did have a name. There were some things about his past that he simply could not remember, despite being prompted by Yoru. There were certain images that he could find, but others were not there for him to see.
He scanned the page, there were many numbers and small notes here. It was part of the cockpit system for the mobile suit on the previous page. Right. That's what it had to be. He tried to decipher the notes, but most of it was in the technical language of scientists and engineers. Wait! There was something there that he knew, and it made him cold all over to read it. Zero System. He took an uneven breath. The Zero System. How could that be? How had . . . .it couldn't be possible. How? He shook his head, then found himself running back to Yoru Tsukai's house with a revelation and a request.
*And courage is a weapon we must use to find some life you can't refuse.*
"What are you doing here?" Dante demanded in a harsh whisper when she answered the door. Taikai wasn't back yet, she still didn't know where he'd gone, and this was the last person she wanted at her hotel room. She found herself backing away, her hand clenched at her abdomen. Yoru Tsukai, that was his name, she had never known. But then she had lost him that night and hadn't seem him again until now.
"Your son asked me to come and give you a message."
"Where did he go? Why did he go to you without telling me?" She just wanted him there so they could go back to Earth. She didn't want to spend one instant longer on the colony than she had to.
"I don't know where he went, but he probably didn't tell you because he knew he would get this reaction." She bit her lip, choking down the next question and forcing herself to calm down. "I have a message for you. He told me to take you back home. He's going to look for something, but he promised to come home as soon as he'd found out what he needed. He knew you wouldn't want to stay here, but he wants you safe. So you get to come with me." She wondered why it was that both her husband and son were always entrusting her into the care of this man. She didn't even know him. But she supposed she could go with him this once.
"How long will he be gone?" She asked, wanting to know everything about where and why he'd left. She hoped he would return soon.
"He didn't say. The only thing he said was for me to take you home and that he had to find the creator of the Zero System."
"Zero System." She hadn't heard about that for many years. That had been the cockpit system for the Wing Zero. Heero had used that system. Had been the only one to be able to use it effectively on a regular basis. Who had created that system? Why did he care? His questions just never ended. First it was the faded flower, then the bullet scar, then his name, to his past, to his father to the Zero System? And they were all connected somehow in a tragic drama. What a melodramatic story her life made, she thought bitterly. She missed Taikai already, and was already praying for him too. But he was gone now and there was nothing for her to do but go with Yoru.
"Why is it?" She asked him as she packed her bag. "That everyone I've ever really loved has just walked out on me and left me to you?" He laughed softly, opening the door for her, taking her bag on her way out.
"I can't answer that, but he'll come back. I don't think he's going on a suicide mission this time." So Dante left the colony to return to her house by the beach. Where she belonged, while Taikai remained behind, chasing some shadow of his past.
*We don't need a lot of money. We'll be sleeping on the beach, keeping oceans within reach. Whatever private oceans we can conjure up for free.*
Taikai did not stay in space, however. He also returned to Earth, but he couldn't tell Dante what he was up to. He remembered the Zero System. He had first come in contact with it when he had fought Quatre in space, but this had to be the source. Luxembourg base. It was abandoned and destroyed now, but it was here that he came to look first.
He had taken pieces of the war for granted. The Tallgeese suddenly being restored in all its original glory. The appearance of the Wing Zero, and the design of the Epyon. But they all had something in common. He had always thought they had been constructed by nameless behind-the-scenes men who had little or no importance to him, but he was dead wrong there. The facts of that mistake were written all over the blueprints in his hand. Kitayori had come up with the design for the Gundam 01. Kitayori had created the Zero System. And Kitayori had been responsible for the building of both the Wing Zero and the Epyon. Taikai was sure of it. Yoru Tsukai had said that Treize had come to speak with Kitayori after he'd been shot. Treize would have asked him what he did, and found out what he could do. And he would have used that. Treize was a player. Treize would have told Yoru that Kitayori was dead, only to take him here, to Luxembourg, to build the most dangerous weapons in the world. More dangerous and more powerful even than the Gundams, which would be the only things that the colonies would have available to them. Yes, this worked perfectly, but even though Taikai had figured this out he still had to find his father. He had been alive all throughout the war, and he had to be alive now.
But he couldn't tell Dante this because he wasn't sure he would be able to find him. And to drag her along with him to these places that had been ruined by war, specifically by himself, would be too much for her. Searching for a man she had loved deeply and had lost would kill her. That's why he had left her with Yoru. He would do this alone. If he failed, she would never have to know. He'd keep his own secrets out of wanting to protect her. If he succeeded, it would come as a shock to her, but in the end everything would turn out all right.
He entered the Luxembourg base, leaving footprints behind in the dust. How many years had it been since he had last been here? How many years since he had put his hand on the entry system and said that his name was Heero Yuy? How many years since he had met Treize, held him at gunpoint? And how many years had it been since he had first been introduced to the Epyon? The Epyon. He shivered in the dark of the base. That machine had been so beautifully evil. So sleek in its terrible elegance. So dangerous in its mind altering power. Treize had called it a god, but Taikai put it into the category of demons. Had his father really built that magnificent, horrible machine? It had to have been him. Who else could have been capable of coming up with the idea for the Zero System? No one had stolen the notes as they had been with Dr. J and Yoru Tsukai all these years. It had to have been Kit.
What are you looking for here, Taikai? He asked himself as he looked through the abandoned rooms of the base. You know that you will not find a living soul here. A clue, he answered. All I want is a clue to where he is. I have to find him. Bring him home to Dante, where he belongs. Perhaps this would stop her nightmares. Perhaps this would make them really a family. Perhaps this would enable them to finally leave the war behind completely.
He walked all through the base, and left it out the back door. It led to a small exercise yard, and beyond that was a fenced in area. Growing all up the fence were rose vines, black thorns pressed through the leaves, and the red petals of the flowers shining blood crimson in the sunlight. What was inside there? Treize had been fond of roses, he remembered. Perhaps it was only a small place for the aristocrat to forget that he was involved in bloody battle. Perhaps it was something else, though. Because, as Taikai remembered, his mother also loved roses.
Circling the entire perimeter, Taikai found that it was completely enclosed with roses. There was no way in or out any more, the entrance had been grown over so thickly that he could not even get in close enough to look for the gate. He would have to climb the fence to see what was inside. The thorns cut into his hands, scratched his face and arms and legs, but still he climbed onward. There had been a time, a long time ago, when he could have made it over the top in one leap, but he doubted he was able to do that little trick anymore. Heero Yuy had stamina and did not think about things like thorns. Taikai Kitayori was no longer a soldier, and while his reflexes sometimes acted on their own, his mind would not allow him to even think he could hop over that tall of a fence that was covered in thorns.
He dropped down the other side, receiving a horrid slash down his cheek but deciding to ignore it. The inside was much larger than he had thought. There was a small house in one corner and chickens in an even smaller fenced area. A small vegetable garden was toward the other side. There was even a well in the center. Someone might even still live here, and that someone just might be exactly who Taikai wanted to find.
A small snip of pruning sheers brought him turning quickly to see the person who lived in this secret garden. A tall Japanese man with dark brown hair that went in all directions. Taikai knew him immediately from the article picture. He'd found Kitayori, alive and well. He'd finally found his father.
*I will stumble there with you and you'll be laughing close with me, trying not to make a scene. Etcetera, whatever.*
"What do you want?" Came a cold growl from across the enclosed area. It brought Taikai away from his stunning revelation. "How did you find me? He said I wasn't going to do anymore, and I'm not! You hear? I'm not!" Taikai raised his hands soothingly.
"I'm not here to give you orders," he said quickly. "The war is over." Kitayori's features softened and the pruning sheers that he had been holding up threateningly were pulled down to his side.
"Over? It's over?" Taikai nodded.
"It was over a long time ago." Had Treize just left him here alone? Trapped him behind this wall of roses and used him only to build his Gundams? Kitayori was studying him intently now, as if trying to puzzle out exactly who it was who had climbed over the fence into his home.
"Do I know you, boy?" He asked softly, his head cocked to the side in concentration.
"I am the pilot of the Wing Zero, and the Epyon." His father smiled at the names, a shine of pride springing into his black eyes.
"How were they? You could handle them all right?"
"They were flawless," he heard himself saying in what he knew was a Heero Yuy voice, a cold, emotionless tone that was only stating facts. "Difficult to adjust to, but flawless." Kitayori nodded.
"And he didn't want them to be made. Won the war for you didn't they?"
"Yes," he answered truthfully. It had been the last shots of the Wing Zero that had ended the war. "They did."
"What else about you do I know? I never met the pilots of the suits, or I would have warned them ahead of time."
"I'm also the pilot of the Gundam 01." A different light appeared in those eyes with that remark. A longing, a wishing, a hope that Taikai had to look away from. It hurt to see it. His father hadn't abandoned Dante. He had been forced against his will to come here, and then kept without knowing anything, even that the war was over. It was so wrong.
"The 01? You. . .how did you get to be the pilot? How old are you?" So he wasn't out of his mind. His wit was still quick, and he did know what was going on, despite not knowing the war was over. That was a relief. Taikai had been afraid when he'd first seen him that his senses had been scattered.
"My mother was taken by Dr. J specifically so that I could become the pilot. That was a little over eighteen years ago." The pruning sheers fell to the ground as Kit's grasp relaxed.
"What's your name, boy?"
"I'm Taikai Kitayori," he watched as his father's eyes widened in surprise, then tear with the next words he said. "And my mother's name is Dante." Suddenly hands were on his shoulders and Kit was looking deep into his eyes.
"You are him," Kit whispered through a tear strained voice. "It is you. And your mother, where is she? How is she?"
"She's at home, waiting for me." Kit looked away, blinking rapidly.
"They told me she was dead. They said she was killed in an attack."
"And you believed them?"
"They gave me this as proof," he brought out from his pocket a pendant on a gold chain. A rose. "I gave this to her on our wedding day. No one knew about it. She kept it hidden because it was so special. How would they have gotten it if she hadn't been killed?" Taikai couldn't answer that. Who knew how it had happened? Maybe OZ had searched the old house. There was no way to know. Not that it was important.
"It doesn't really matter anymore," Taikai said. "I'm going to take you home. If you want to come." Kitayori examined the rose pendant in his palm, taking deep breaths to calm himself.
"I prayed for you. These roses were for her. I don't know what I'll say to her. What could I possibly say?"
"You'll figure that out when you get there."
"You really are my son aren't you?"
"Yes. I am." Kit shook his head, as if he just couldn't believe it. Then he looked around at his prison of roses, before sighing.
"Take me home, Taikai. I think I need to return something to your mother." Together they hacked their way out of the wall of roses. Past the secrets of the thorns, and made their way to Dante, who waited patiently by the ocean.
*I guess all I really mean is we're gonna be alright. Yeah, we're gonna be alright. You can close your eyes tonight, 'cause we're gonna be alright.*
Dante saw Taikai coming to her over the hill that led to the house. She swam quickly to the beach just as Taikai reached it. Ignoring the fact that she was soaking wet she threw herself at him, grabbing him in a close hug.
"Tell me when you leave next time, won't you?" She begged as she kissed his cheek repeatedly. "What on earth did you have to look for this time, Taikai?" He didn't answer right away, and that made her pull back to consider him carefully. He was smiling one of those special smiles that made him look very much like Kit.
"I went to find something that belongs to you," he said cryptically, obviously enjoying his secret. What did that mean? She had everything she'd ever needed, or remembered needing. She had him back, she had her home on the beach. Everything that was in her power to enjoy.
"Belongs to me?"
"Do you know who built the Wing Zero and the Epyon, Mother?" She knew those names, but she didn't know what he was talking about.
"Should I?"
"I think you'll find that you should. I've brought him home with me to meet with you."
"Taikai what are you talking about? Why do I care about some mechanic? And you brought him here?"
"It was the same man that built the Gundam 01." She stared at him, hard. She didn't dare even guess what she thought he meant. It was too dangerous for her to hope that much about anything. Especially something like this. She felt Taikai wipe a tear from under her eye before she knew it was there.
"You should go up the hill," he said softly. "The wind is blowing up there. It could dry those tears."
"There are some things you shouldn't joke about, Taikai." He just smiled.
"Just go see. Look! There." He pointed and she looked beyond him to see an older version of him standing on top of the hill. She heard herself gasp, giving a frightened and shocked glance to Taikai. Then she was lurching forward, only getting a few steps before her trembling legs failed her and she ended up back in the sand. Then Kit was there, holding her tightly, running his hands over her shoulders and hair and face. What was happening? It couldn't be real. Yet it didn't go away. The ocean breeze blew about them as her husband clung to her, putting the rose pendant once again around her neck. Where it belonged. Where he belonged. How everything was supposed to be.
"Kit," she sobbed his name over and over. "Oh Kit. I can't believe it."
"My Dante," he replied, his own voice shocked and filled with tears. "My Dante and my son." Together again as it should have always been. Far away she saw Taikai standing with Yoru at his side, both grinning and Yoru reaching up to wipe his eyes every so often. They had done this for them. Taikai had brought him back to her. Back to her. And it was then that she remembered how much she loved to be kissed by the wind.
*All that I can see is your eyes. Close your eyes. Close your eyes.*
I did it, Taikai thought and breathed deeply. He'd solved the mystery and brought his parents back together. And as he watched them in the sand, with the waves rolling around their knees and the sun glinting off their dark hair, he was truly content with the world. This is how a family should be. This had been his best mission.
Yoru gripped his shoulder, squeezing tightly. "Great job, kid," he said in a strained voice. "I can't believe you found him, yet there he is!" Still shaking his head, Yoru turned and walked away, leaving Taikai to watch his parents alone.
Yes, indeed, there he is. Here we are. He was Taikai Kitayori, son of Dante and Kitayori, the long lasting wind. He shook his head, allowing himself to laugh and run down the beach to land on his knees next to his parents. They both grabbed him tightly, finally together as a family. The war finally gone, enabling them to live life as they had always dreamed. To live life in the fashion that most people took for granted every day of their lives. To live life together, as a family.