"You're not going to go in with me?" Buffy asked, a little bit alarmed.

"No, I'm not. This is between you and Faith. It doesn't involve me. I'll be out here in the car.."

"Angel.."

"Buffy, love..you wanted to talk to her..to get things sorted out. Well you don't need someone holding your hand to do that, right?"

"Right," she replied grudgingly. Then she looked up at him, blue eyes wide, "I'm scared."

"Why?"

She looked away and muttered something.

"Again?"

"I need her," Buffy murmured. She looked up at him and took a deep breath. "I know how this is gonna sound..very corny and very cheesy so just let me get it out, okay?"

"Okay.."

"Shush.."

"Sorry.."

"Angel!"

"Shutting up. Please..go on.."

She narrowed her eyes at him for a beat and then shook her head, allowing a small giggle to pass. She smacked him lightly on the arm. "You..you..bad man." She closed her eyes briefly, as if to recollect herself. "Sorry," she murmured. "Okay..here it is..corny and cheesy..you're my soulmate..that I believe..but Faith is like my other sister..like Dawn..you know.."

He nodded, "I know. Go on..you can do this."

"Yeah?" she asked, uncertain.

"Yeah," he assured her. "Of course."

*****

It was cold inside the jail or maybe it was just her. As she gazed around at the other visitors coming to see family or friends and noted that several were in shorts, she realized that it was likely just her nerves.

The guard led her over a chair. There was a glass wall separating her side of the room from the side Faith would be on. For some reason, she hated that idea.

"Wait," the guard said.

She nodded and fell into the seat, feeling her bottom slide against the polished wood. She folded her hands and then separated them. She placed them at her sides and then on the table.

"Hey B.," a voice said.

She looked up stunned and blinked. "Faith..hi."

"Didn't ever expect to see you here," Faith said softly.

"I was always going to come. Eventually," Buffy assured her. "You look good." And she did. The taller dark haired Slayer looked tired but there was something in her eyes. Something like hope.

"Well you know, my private staff works around the clock.."

"You're cut," Buffy noticed.

Faith nodded. "I am. A fight.." she said the last bit hesitantly, like she expected to be yelled at.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah..B..I'm surprised you're here..not that I'm not..happy..but.."

"You're wondering why," Buffy said plainly.

"I am. You've never answered any of my letters..I figured well.."

"I didn't know how. I've been so angry at you. I've hated you so much.."

Faith looked down at her hands. She took a deep breath. She knew this already. She closed her eyes and told herself that Buffy had a right to these emotions no matter how much they hurt her.

"..and I realized that part of the reason why I do is because I'm partly responsible.."

"What?" Faith exclaimed, looking up. "No! No. Buffy..if anything that all of this has taught me..besides keep your back to the wall..is that I made my own mess.."

"And I should have been there to help you clean it up..I was so messed up in my head and in my mind..that's no excuse.."

"Buffy..my fault..do you get that? This is about me. I did the wrong.."

"And I let you down.."

"No.."

"Come on Faith..admit it..you're angry at me.."

Faith nodded, "I was. I'm not."

"Why were you?"

"Why do we need to go down this path?"

Buffy looked down at the floor. "I had a dream.."

"I know. You were falling."

Buffy looked up at her in shock. Faith for her part just gave her a sad smile.

"Yeah..I was." She swallowed. "Then you know why I'm here."

"To settle old scores?"

"To make things right. I fucked you as much as you fucked me."

"Sounds like a wild ride," Faith murmured. She sipped from a glass of water. "Okay, you want the truth?"

"I do."

"I hated you. You had it all. You had the perfect mom.."

"I don't have that anymore.." Buffy whispered.

Faith looked at her sympathetically. "Oh B..I'm sorry..I didn't.."

"No..go on..there will be plenty of time for a cry afterwards..please..I need to hear this.."

"..perfect friends and a man who loved you more than anything. And it didn't even seem like you were trying. It was like everything just fell in your lap. I hated you for that because no matter what I did..it was never right." She swallowed and took another sip. "The mayor..no matter what else he was..he did love me. He did. Sure..he used me a bit..but B..he loved me."

"Bad people can love.." Buffy told her gently.

"I know that now..I don't think it mattered then. I just wanted someone to think of me first, you know?"

Buffy nodded. ""I was going to kill you that night.."

"No, you weren't," Faith said with a slight smile. "B, if you could have seen the look on your face when you stabbed me..priceless..you didn't have a clue. Maybe you thought you were going there to kill me but that's not you..I figured that out lazy year.."

"How?"

"When I woke up..my mind was spinning..and my first thoughts were that I had to find you..it would be okay..but I just started getting more and more angry. And then I found out that the guy you had come after me for..you had let walk away.." she took a deep breath, "I believed in you guys."

"Why?" Buffy asked, genuinely shocked.

"Because you're the real thing. Anyone with eyes can see that..the way you look at each other..the way you can't stay away..what you'll do for each other..that's what I always wanted..someone to look at me like that.."

"And Riley?"

"He looked at you like that too. You didn't vibe with the guy but he still thought you were the night and day..I wanted to feel that..and I hated you so much because I thought you took it so much for granted.."

"I was so messed up last year.."

"We're always messed up, aren't we?" Faith said with a grin.

"Yes, we are."

"In any case, I know what I am B."

"And what's that?"

"A monster."

Buffy felt her heart crash. She pressed a palm to the glass and looked hard at the other Slayer. "Understand me here. No. No."

"What?" Faith asked, shocked and somehow moved.

"I know monsters, Faith. I know them well. Monsters don't take accept punishment..monsters don't do what you're doing.."

"But am I good person?" Faith queried, a look of desperation in her eyes.

Buffy paused and then gave her a soft smile, "You're my sister."

Faith stared back at her and then nodded. "You're not gonna die..you know that, right?"

"I wish I did..I'm scared."

"Yeah..me too."

*****

"How did it go?" Angel asked, looking up as the door to his car opened. He put down the novel he was reading and smiled at the tiny blonde.

"Good. Really good."

"You're crying.."

"No, I cried..we talked about mom.."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. If I'm still alive next week..I'm gonna come see her again.."

"That's not funny, Buffy."

"Sure it is, " she replied, wiping the tears away. She squeezed his hand. "Oh relax.."

"I don't relax when.."

"Angel, love, lighten up..."

"Sorry," he said with a small apologetic smile. "Back to the Hyperion?"

"Is lunch there?"

"It can be."

"Then onwards," she giggled.

*****

"You take one more step and I will kill you," she said, eyes narrowed. She moved quickly across the floor, her heels clapping loudly against it.

For his part, faced with possible bodily harm, he just laughed. Lifting an eyebrow to her as if to say "oh yeah?", he brought the sandwich to his mouth.

"Charles Gunn!" she barked.

"Gunn.." Wesley suggested, "Perhaps that's not the wisest.."

He bit down and then chewed. "Mmm..yummy..thank you.."

She growled and started to move towards him.

"Welcome to my circus," Angel said, stepping into the lobby with Buffy at his side. "What's going on?"

"The usual," Wesley said from behind the desk. "Mrs. Miller called.."

"Give it to Gunn and Cordelia..they seem to have a special rapport with her."

Cordelia's mouth dropped open in protest and she seemed to be contemplating which man deserved death more. Finally, she continued her movement towards Gunn.

"Did you guys order out for lunch?"

"Yep..sandwiches.." Gunn said, taking another bite from hers.

"That's mine," Cordelia snapped, reaching for Gunn. He slapped her hand away.

"In the kitchen?"

"Yes," Wesley said. "Hurry..Gunn seems to be hungry today."

Angel just chuckled and then turned to lead Buffy into the kitchen. Laid out on the table was a large box containing a six foot sub from Togo's. He was about to ask Buffy if she wanted a plate when he saw her make a hard left for it. He just shook his head and smiled.

*****

"So you'll call me in a few days then? Just so I know you're okay?" Angel asked, his voice low. They were standing next to her car, the dark night sky sparkling around them. It was almost nine at night.

"Sure," she smiled. "But Angel.."

"No buts.."

"Angel..in this work we're both in..come on.."

"I know..I just..it's hard.."

She reached up and touched his face. Then wrapping her hand around his neck, she pulled him down to her and kissed him hard. Breaking away she looked at him, "I love you so much. You said once that even death can't change that.."

"That's true.."

"So I want you to make me a promise.."

"Okay," he agreed hesitantly.

"No, say it. Angel..say 'I promise', please?" Buffy insisted, still running her fingers across his face.

It wasn't fair really. It wasn't like he actually had the option of declining; he could barely think much less resist her. "I promise.." he murmured, eyes closing. Mentally he berated himself for acting like a hormonal teen. Then again though..

"If I do die..you won't go insane..you won't let down again.."

He blinked and looked up at her, confusion in his eyes. She ran her fingers through his hair and then leaned up to kiss him again.

"Look, I know you..better than anyone..I know how you get..but I can't stand the idea of you hurting yourself..if I do go..promise me you'll keep fighting.."

"Buffy.."

"Angel, please..I know it's selfish but I need to know that you'll be okay." Buffy insisted, her posture altering with her frustration.

He placed a hand on each of her shoulders and steadied her. "I promise..I'll be okay.."

She moved to kiss up and then stopped and in a small childs voice said, "But not too okay, right?"

He laughed. "No, never that." He accepted the kiss and held it for a long moment.

She finally broke away, "I have to get going. I promised that I would be back by midnight tonight. They'll wig if I'm not."

"Okay.." he said reluctantly. "Drive safe." He opened the door to her car and gave her a hand on. Leaning over, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and let it linger. "You'll always know, right?"

"Always. Goodnight my Angel."

*****

"You look elsewhere," Xander noted as he moved to sit beside his best friend on the roof of her house. It was almost midnight. Dawn was long since in her bed, pretending to sleep while in actuality scribbling away in her diary.

"I am.." Buffy replied. She felt him slide an arm around her back. She dropped her head against him and sighed. "I'm so tired, Xan.."

"I know," he said. "I know. But we keep fighting, right?"

"Yes, we do."

"We always do," Xander said with a soft smile.

She turned to look at him, "Until we don't." Her voice was very soft and it was clear that despite the wonderful day she'd had, the dream was replaying itself in her head.

"No," he reassured her. "We always will." He pulled her head back against his chest and looked out into the endless expanse of night.

"Why?" she asked, eyes closed.

"Because it's what you taught us.."

"Did I do wrong? Wouldn't you guys all be happier living a normal life?"

"Perhaps," he said nodding. "But that's not where we are. I'm happy with my life now..I wouldn't trade any of it. I'm a better man because of what you've made me. I like me."

She looked up at him with tears of gratitude in her eyes. She tried to open her mouth to say thank you but the words wouldn't come. Xand seemed to understand; he gave her a lop-sided grin and winked at her.

"Shut up Slayer, I'm enjoying my night."

"Sorry," she said, wrinkling her nose. "Closing eyes.."

"Good girl," Xand grinned.

"Hey Xan?"

"Yeah?" he said, mock impatiently.

"You believe in the afterlife?"

He considered for a moment, his eyes scanning several of the constellations. Finally he nodded. "Yeah..I think so..I think after all of this, I need to."

"You think if I die..he'll join me? Eventually? You think he wants to?"

Xander frowned. "No, Buffy, I don't think he wants to."

She looked up at him, wide-eyed, the pain in her heart very clear on her face. "You don't?"

"No, I don't think..I know. I know..you and Angel..man..you're you and Angel."

She smiled and dropped her head back down. "Thanks."

He nodded, eyes rolling. And then he looked down at her. Controlling his emotions, he said softly, "But don't go okay?"

She just smiled.

-Fin