Chapter 18: The Truth About James
Lily:
James didn't show up at any of our classes. In D.A.D.A., our last class, Professor Custos was very strained as she was every morning after a killing.
"Now class, turn to page 104 in your text books," she choked. I saw her turn away, trying to hide a tear. After class I went up to her. She had her back to me and was hunched over, sobbing.
"Professor Custos?" I asked quietly. "What happened?"
"Oh, Lily, er, nothing dear, I'm alright," she said, wiping tears away quickly.
"No," I said. "Something is the matter and I'm not leaving until you tell me what happened. I'm not one to turn my back on anyone who's crying, well, maybe Malfoy and his cronies, but when have they ever cried? I've been told I'm a good listener."
"Lily, your so sweet. Well, you are his friend, I guess you have a right to know. I was very close to the Potters'. I grew up with Sarah and we were very close. After she married, we still kept in touch, but we lost touch eventually. She had a family to attend to and I was busy teaching. Well, I wish I had made more of an effort," she started sobbing again, "because now they're dead and I never got to say goodbye."
"Professor, I'm so sorry. Will you be alright? Can I get you anything?"
"No, that's all dear, thank you. You'd better get back to your Common Room. Remus, Sirius and Peter will be wondering where you are. They'll think you got kidnapped by those horrid Slytherins," she laughed. Though her face was tear stained, she was smiling. "I'll see you in class tomorrow Lily." I was halfway out the door when she said, "Lily?"
"Mmm?"
"Thank you."
"Your welcome," I said, knowing full well what she meant. As soon as I was away from the door, I bolted to the Tower. I burst through the Portrait hole.
"Sirius, could you do me a hug favor?" I asked, panting.
"Sure, what is it?" he replied.
"Check to see if there's anyone in your dorm besides James?" I asked again.
"Okay," he said with a quizzical look. He headed up to the dorm and came back a few minutes later. "Nope, just James, sleeping like a baby. Why do people use that expression? Baby's never sleep…" he trailed off, but I headed up the staircase that led to the boys' dorms. I pushed the door gently open, and peeked in, suspecting to see someone naked as I knew what a joker Sirius was and he would think that hilarious. However, he was right. There was a snoring lump on one bed that was definitely James. There were glasses next to the bed and messy black hair sticking out at all ends. I chuckled softly to myself and went to sit down on his bed.
"James?" I asked softly. He shook his head groggily.
"Yeah?" he replied.
"Will you be okay?" I asked again.
"Why did you ask, 'will be'? I'm fine."
"No you aren't. Professor Custos was crying in class because she was close to your parents. I asked 'will be' because whenever someone shuts themselves up in their rooms, it tends to mean they're upset. Like you," I pointed at him.
"How would you feel if your parents died?" James snapped.
"I would feel just as bad and pray they took Petunia with them," I said, earnestly.
"You would rather be all alone then have one relative?" he asked.
"I would never be alone. I have wonderful friends who love me, just like you," I reminded him. "Now lie down, I'll sing to you."
"You? Sing? Ugh, please, I'd rather not," he gagged.
"I have a good voice, just ask Cat, I sing in the shower all the time and she can hear me," I snapped. "Muggles usually sing this at funerals. I sang this when my grandfather died. He had never heard me sing and I sent this straight to him in heaven.
"Amazing Grace/how sweet the sound/that saved a wretch like me/I once was lost/but now I'm found/was blind/but now I see.
"T'was Grace/that taught my heart to fear/and Grace my fears relieved/how precious did/that Grace appear/the hour/I first believed. I forget the rest, sorry," I apologized. James just stared. "What?" I asked.
"You sing very nicely," he stammered.
"Thanks. You want to talk about it?"
"Well, not really, but it hasn't sunk in yet. When I start bawling is when you should worry," he gave an empty laugh. "I knew this was going to happen."
"Why?" I asked. There was something strange about James, and I couldn't quite place it.
"Call it intuition," he said.
"Guys don't have intuition, or an inner voice, or a conscience. Women do, but not men. What is it?"
"I'll tell you later. What time is it?"
"It's seven o'clock. Almost time for dinner."
"Good, I'm hungry. Any idea what's for dinner?" he asked.
"James, your parents just died and you're thinking about food?" I asked.
"Lily, what would you expect? My parents are dead, and I'm trying not to think about it! The longer I don't think about it, the longer I'm happy! You don't get it do you? I'm going to be really upset!" James shouted at me, sobbing. I looked uncomfortable for a second, then reached over and took his hand in both of mine. He turned to me, his face tear streaked and eyes red. "What am I going to do Lily?"
"Don't think about that now," I said. "Come here, just rest while I sing to you." I pulled him into a hug and rested his head on my shoulder. I encircled my arms around him as if he were a little child and rocked him gently. I sang to him softly some of my favorite songs that my mother would sing to me until he fell asleep. I laid him down on his bed and kissed him lightly on the forehead. I turned out the light on my way out. Before I left, I turned back to look at him. He was propped up on one elbow, looking at me.
"Lily?" he asked.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"The reason I know about all the stuff, well, it's because I'm a Seer," he said hurriedly.
"Cool," I said. "Now get some rest, I know you won't be happy tomorrow morning."
"G'night Lily," he whispered.
"G'night James," I whispered back. I smiled and shut the door carefully, reassured that James was asleep by his snores coming from behind the door. "And God bless," I said to the closed door.
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It was at that moment that Lily Evans realized that she loved James Potter. It was the moment when he was crying on her shoulder, when he told her his secret, when she sang to him. She loved him and knew they were destined to be together.
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A/N: Isn't that sad? I think it's sweet. Sorry it's so short. Read my H/H series, I'll be posting a lot over the break. Boo, Hiss, Boo to my school for letting us out so late! Boo, Hiss, Boo to my brother's school for letting him out so early! Arg, life is so annoying sometimes! Homework is lessening though! YAY! Got any ideas to further my story? Email me: TessWalker@aol.com. PLEASE!!! You recognize it, I don't own it. Luv ya lots! Luv ya more if you R/R! Luv ya less if you flame, but still luv ya!