Title: Fire
Author: Kat Halcyon
E-Mail: kathalcyon@yahoo.ca or kathalcyon@hotmail.com
Rating: PG
Archive: The D/J archive, of course!
Spoilers: The Broca Divide, Forever and a Day, the Anise arc
Summary: The progression of Daniel and Janet's relationship
Status: Complete
Disclaimers: They're not mine, but I wish they were. Especially Danny. My birthday is in May. Hint, hint.
Feedback: I love it.
Authors Notes: I like the title. It came first, actually. I can never give things titles. Spark takes place before The Broca Divide, Flame takes place immediately after Forever and a Day, and Blaze takes place after the Anise arc.
Dedication: To Bryn, for beta'ing and validation, to Becca, for holding off my Bedmonster on a regular basis, and to Nike, for being dannyandsimmonsanddavis.
******
Spark
******
Daniel Jackson came into the infirmary after the post-mission briefing his team had had regarding their trip to P3X-595. It had been their most disastrous mission – so far, Daniel thought with a grimace.
"Dr. Warner," he called to the empty infirmary. "I need some more Claritin here. I ran out on the last –" He stopped.
The person who came out of the CMO's office was not Dr. Warner, the man who Daniel had expected. Instead it was a very pretty woman in a white lab coat. She was petite and curvy, with short auburn hair, dark gold skin and large hazel eyes. "I'm sorry," Daniel said. "Have we met?"
"I'm Dr. Janet Fraiser," the woman said in low, smooth tones. "The base's new Chief Medical Officer."
"Dr. Daniel Jackson, SG-1," he introduced himself. "Sorry, I was wondering if I could get a refill of Claritin-Loratidine. I have allergies, and 'Gate travel sort of exacerbates them. I ran out on the last mission – it lasted longer than we thought it would."
"Ah, I see," the doctor said as she walked over to a filing cabinet with quick, efficient steps, and pulled out a file Daniel recognized as his own. "I have allergies myself," she commented. "I know what hell it can be when you run out of your meds."
"Yeah, 'hell' is the right word," Daniel agreed. "How'd you get assigned here?"
"I was doing research on new disease strains at the Air Force Hospital. I joined up back during the Gulf War. My husband didn't like it, but he put up with it until I got sent here. The divorce is almost complete."
Daniel had a strange, half-happy, half-sad reaction to that statement. Realizing the reason, he gave himself a mental thwap. He had no right to be thinking about women like that, any women. Not when Sha're…
His throat closed up as it did every time he thought of Sha're. How could he think of another woman in that way when she was out there, just waiting to be found? He did everything he possibly could to forget the Goa'uld parasite that had invaded her body. He had also blocked out of his memory the failure that had occurred when they had tried to remove a Goa'uld from Major Kawalsky a few months ago.
Sha're was alive, and he was going to find her.
He had to.
"Here's your Claritin," the doctor said, interrupting Daniel's thoughts.
"Oh, thanks." Mechanically he took the vial of pills she held.
"Not a problem. I'll see you around the base. Not too often in here, I hope," she added.
Daniel forced a chuckle. "Yeah, me too. Thanks again. Bye." At that, he retreated from the infirmary.
He went straight to his quarters, sat down on the bed, and spent over an hour just thinking about Sha're. And making sure not to think about Dr. Janet Fraiser.
* * *
When Janet got off-duty after an 8-hour shift filled with paperwork and emergency medicine after one of the field teams – she thought it had been SG-5, but wasn't sure – she headed straight for the commissary in the hopes of finding some caffeine, sugar, and empty calories. Not necessarily in that order.
She found them all in a cup of steaming hot liquid that almost tasted like coffee and a sad-looking piece of chocolate cake. She knew she should be eating something more substantial, but couldn't be bothered to find anything. Besides, knowing the military, anything masquerading as real food was as likely to poison as to nourish.
Janet also found the company of Captain Samantha Carter, a woman she had met in the Gulf. The two women had become friends overseas, but had lost touch after returning to the States. However, the friendship was easily renewed when they found themselves serving on the same base.
"Fun second day?" Sam asked with a smile as Janet sank into the chair across the table.
Janet let out a sigh. "Boy, when General Hammond said he was going to throw me right into the deep end, he wasn't kidding. I dealt with injuries today that I've never seen before. Do you know what a staff weapon does? It partially cauterizes the –" She noticed Sam's blank look. "I won't bore you with details, sorry. But the only highlight of the entire day was one of your teammates coming in for an allergy med refill."
"Daniel?" Sam asked. At Janet's nod, she went on. "Why would that be a highlight?"
"Have you seen the man?" Janet asked with a laugh.
Sam didn't join in the laughter. "There's something you should know about him," she said seriously.
Janet deflated. "He's married, isn't he?"
"Yes. No. Sort of." Sam looked confused, uncharacteristically unsure of herself. "See, he was part of the first Stargate mission, and lived off-world for about a year. He got married there. But about the same time that we re-made contact, his wife was taken as a Goa'uld host."
"Goa'ulds are the parasites I read about, right?" Janet asked for clarification.
Sam nodded. "Anyway, we don't know of a way to remove a Goa'uld without killing the host. He's obsessed with finding her, though."
Janet gave a sigh. "Okay, then. I'll keep my hands off." She paused. "I can still use my eyes, though, right?"
*******
Flame
*******
Daniel insisted on an Abydonian burial for Sha're's body. No one had the heart to try to dissuade him. He had spent nearly three years trying to save her from the Goa'uld. Now his quest had come to an inglorious end, and all Daniel's friends feared his reaction.
However, Daniel took it much better than anyone had expected. Not well – of course not well. It was impossible to think that a man with such a passionate nature could react well to the death of his love. But he wept less than predicted, and there were no attempts to follow Sha're into death.
That hadn't been a great fear for Janet. She knew as well as anyone that Daniel was stronger than he seemed, after all those times she'd seen him recover fully from injuries that could have easily killed him. But she knew that grief could cause physical symptoms and, as a doctor, she wanted to help him if that was the case.
And as a friend, she wanted to do anything she could.
It was the second night since they had returned from Abydos, from the funeral. She knew that Daniel's teammates had gone to visit him last night, and hadn't exactly been warmly welcomed. Sam's direct quote had been, "He didn't kick us out, but he didn't let us in, either. I mean, he let us in the apartment, but not in *him*, you know?"
Janet knew. But she also knew that letting Daniel shut himself away from the world was not going to help him heal.
So there she was, sitting in her car outside Daniel's apartment building as a clichéd rainstorm pounded against the windows. Sam, Jack and Teal'c had agreed to let her try getting through to him, but now that she was there, she wished she had brought them with her.
From the time Sam had told her about Sha're, Janet had tried her hardest to not think of Daniel as any more than a friend or a patient. It was hard – she'd always gone for the intellectual type, and as his doctor, she knew what excellent shape he was in. As his friend, she knew what a kind, compassionate man he was.
But he'd been married, no matter how long it had been since he'd seen his wife.
He wasn't married anymore.
She shouldn't have come. Her motives were a great deal less than pure. However, too many people knew her plans, and would want to know why she hadn't gone in.
Unless she went in.
So she had to go in. Janet screwed up her courage, opened the car door, and went out into the rain. She made her way up to his apartment, soaking wet, and knocked on the door.
Daniel opened it, unshaven, dressed in wrinkled khakis and a white pocket tee. "Oh, hi," he said in a surprised voice.
"Can I come in?" Janet asked, trying not to feel self-conscious.
"Yeah, sure. I'll, uh, get you a towel." She could hear a note of shell-shock in his voice.
"Thanks." Daniel made his way to the linen closet, and Janet stayed in the small foyer, not wanting to drip on his hardwood floors. It didn't take long for him to return with a large navy blue towel, which she took gratefully and began to dry her hair with.
Once she was less soaked, Janet moved into Daniel's living room and took a seat in a chair without being asked. He followed, seemingly automatically, and sat down on the couch.
She didn't talk. It had to be his decision. He didn't talk either. They sat in silence for nearly ten minutes. It was both companionable and uncomfortable at the same time. A dozen times, Janet opened her mouth to say something. Something small, like "How's it going?" or "How are you feeling?" but she couldn't.
"Do you want a drink?" Daniel asked finally.
"Sure." Janet could have cried in relief.
He got up, and returned a minute later with two glasses of white wine. Janet sipped at hers slowly. Another five minutes passed before Daniel said, "Everyone thinks I'm an idiot."
It was so unexpected that Janet spilled wine on her blouse. "No, you're not." The response was automatic.
"Yes, I am." He gave a short, bitter laugh. "Sha're's been dead for years. Everyone knew it. I knew it. But I kept searching for her. Why?"
"You love her," Janet said softly.
"I did." Daniel took a sip of wine, then blinked rapidly. Janet realized he was crying.
He hadn't shed a tear at the funeral. He hadn't cried when his teammates had visited him, either. But now he was.
Janet was oddly touched.
She put down her wine and moved to sit beside him on the couch. After a second's hesitation, she put her arm around him. "Daniel, you're not an idiot. Anyone would have done the same. There was a chance she could have been saved. You had to try to find her."
"There was no chance. What could you have done to get that – thing – out of her?"
She hesitated. There was nothing. "Daniel, the Tok'ra have far superior technology. They could have done something –"
"Like what? There was nothing. I knew there was nothing. But I kept on looking for her. I was stupid."
"You loved your wife. That doesn't sound stupid at all to me."
He didn't respond, just put his head on her shoulder and cried.
*****
Blaze
*****
Janet was avoiding him. Daniel didn't know why, but he was sure of it. They usually ate lunch together in the commissary once a week or so when he was on-world, and she often joined SG-1 on their downtime pursuits. However, he hadn't really spoken to her in almost a month.
It was starting to worry him, and he decided he needed to talk to her to determine what was wrong. Of course, finding time to talk to her was naturally made difficult due to the avoidance, leading to a very frustrating situation for Daniel.
Before seeking out Janet, he decided to talk to Sam, hoping that she would have some insight. If she did, though, she wasn't sharing – Sam told him that she hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary, and didn't know of any reason for anything to be out of the ordinary.
Daniel wasn't buying it.
So, since Janet was, no matter what Sam said, avoiding him, Daniel decided to stop by her house one night after she was off-duty to corner her.
He knocked on the door, and Janet opened it. She had changed from her uniform into jeans and a white knit top, and he couldn't help but notice that she looked really good in her casual civvies. He pushed that thought away. "Hey," he said with a big grin.
She didn't exactly look happy to see him. "Oh, hi." She blinked rapidly a few times, then asked, "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to talk to you. Can I come in?"
"Oh, right." Janet opened the door further and stepped aside so he could enter. She led him into the living room. She sat on the couch, and he deliberately sat beside her, rather than taking a seat on one of the chairs. "What did you want to talk about?" she asked.
He couldn't help but notice that her voice was a little stiff, which made him more convinced that she'd been evading him for the past month. "Why I haven't seen you around much lately," he replied, careful to keep his tone casual.
"I've been busy, you've been busy. Daniel, we're both busy people. Remember? You're off-world half the time!" she exclaimed. "It's not a big deal."
"So you haven't been avoiding me?"
She shook her head. "No," she said firmly.
He paused, examined her face. "I don't believe you."
"Excuse me?" she demanded. "Daniel, why would I lie? What is your problem, anyway?"
She looked even better when angry, a part of his mind noticed. "My problem is that I feel like I'm losing one of my best friends, and I don't like it," he said calmly.
She rolled her eyes. "Get a grip."
"Janet, I'm serious! If I've done something wrong, something to offend you, I'd like to know so I can at least try to fix it. You're important to me." He vocalized that last sentence before really thinking it, but, analyzing the sentiment, he realized it was very true.
Her face softened a touch. "You haven't done anything," she assured him.
"You're sure?" he asked, still worrying.
She nodded, then leaned over to straighten the magazines on the coffee table. "How's Anise?" she asked.
Daniel frowned. Why on earth would Janet be asking him about Anise? "Fine, I guess," he replied confusedly. "Why?"
"Well, you went to the Tok'ra planet last week, and when she was here a few weeks before that, you two seemed very friendly." Janet was still bent over the table, not looking at him.
Daniel blinked slowly. The last time Anise was on Earth, she'd… but Janet couldn't have seen… could she have? But if she had… then that would mean she was…
"Are you jealous?" he asked bluntly.
"Jealous? Of Anise? And you?" Janet scoffed. "Why would I be jealous? You're a grown, unattached man, and if you want to stick your tongue down the throat of some half-dressed alien, then you go right ahead and do it."
Daniel had to try very hard to repress a grin. She *was* jealous!
"I'll have you know that the half-dressed alien stuck her tongue down my throat without my consent or participation, and I told her flat out that I had no interest in her outside of our work," Daniel told her, still holding in his grin.
"You don't have to explain to me. It doesn't matter to me who you kiss," she said flippantly.
"Why not?" he asked. The smile was out now, but it didn't really matter, as she was still busy lining up magazines.
"Because I'm your friend. I don't think about you that way," she told him airily. He looked at her profile closely. There was a dark tinge to her gold skin… was she *blushing*?
"You don't think of me as any more than a friend," he clarified. He knew there was an amused undertone in his voice, but, luckily, Janet didn't seem to notice.
"No, not really."
"And you don't care who I kiss."
"Nope." The last magazine was perfectly lined up with the rest. She slowly turned to face him.
"Oh. Okay, that's good."
"Why?"
"Because there's someone I want to kiss."
Her hazel eyes widened slightly, before she controlled herself. "That's nice," she said neutrally.
Daniel nodded. "I know." He paused a second, then leaned in and gave her a kiss on the lips.
When he pulled back, her eyes were wide and unblinking. He scanned her face, trying to determine what she was feeling, beyond the obvious shock. He couldn't figure it out, and fear wrapped itself around his heart. "I'm sorry…" he said slowly.
"You're sorry," Janet repeated.
"Yeah, I really am. I had no right to do that, Janet, and… I'll leave. I'm sorry."
"Daniel?" she said, placing a hand on his arm before he could stand up to walk away.
"Yes?"
"You're an idiot." She leaned in and kissed him.
"I… I am?" he asked when they broke apart.
"Yes! You idiot! I've been hoping you'd do that for… well, a really long time, and you never noticed! Not even once! I tried to not think about you like that while Sha're was still alive, and then for some time afterwards because I knew how much that hurt you, but for half a freaking year I've been sending you all the vibes I could, and you *never* noticed!"
She'd barely stopped for breath during that speech. Daniel was more afraid now than ever. "Umm… I'm sorry?" he said hesitantly. "I just never thought that you might feel that way about me, and today… well, I don't know what got into me today, but –"
"I'm glad it did," she interrupted.
"You are?"
Janet rolled her eyes. "I just kissed you, Daniel. Honestly. You must be the most oblivious male I've ever known."
"But you kissed me anyway." He didn't notice the smugness that had crept into his voice.
"Yeah. I did." And she did it again.