Chapter Twelve
Chloe sat completely alone on a bench at the edge of the park. Brady had left her alone to read while he took a walk around the park. She had already finished skimming the first book, but found nothing in there. A lot of talk about school and Nancy's relationship with Craig. But nothing that alluded to Chloe or her father. Chloe began on the second book with a sigh. The first part was mostly Nancy lamenting the fact that Craig was away at medical school, and how much she missed him. But, about 25 pages in... Chloe noticed something out of the ordinary.
"Chloe..."
Chloe broke out of her trance and looked up. Brady had come back with his hands full and he plopped down on the bench beside her. "Hey... There's a little cafe on the other end of the park. I got you an iced mocha and a turkey sandwich... whole wheat of course."
Chloe took the food from his hands and looked at him strangely. "Weird... I was thinking earlier about how much I miss the Dot.Com iced mochas."
Brady grinned at her and sipped his own drink. "You mean, I never told you that I was psychic?"
Chloe rolled her eyes and laughed. "Well, just promise me that you will use your mystic powers of divining for good and not evil."
Brady nodded knowingly. "See... that's the thing. I'm only psychic when it comes to things like... 'Chloe is craving a mocha' or 'Chloe prefers whole wheat over white bread'. The big stuff is out of my reach."
Chloe nodded understandingly. "So... it's a blessing AND a curse then."
"Pretty much... So, did you find anything good yet?"
Chloe shrugged and took a bite of her sandwich. "I don't know... The first book was pretty useless. Your basic teenage rambling kinda stuff. But, the second one might be helpful. This was all written when Craig was away in medical school and they were apart."
"Around the time that she got pregnant?"
"Mm-hmmm... Check this out..." Chloe took a quick sip of her drink before reading out of the journal. She pointed at the page and began reading; "Craig called me from school yesterday. He couldn't talk long because he was on his way to class. I miss him terribly but I'm trying to stay occupied with my studies. I noticed something strange though. Mr. Lennox is coming over to the house a lot more than usual. He usually comes over after dinner and has drinks with my father. They spend the rest of the night in the study discussing 'business' dealings and telling stories. I don't know what it is about him, but he creeps me out. He just looks at me sometimes and it gives me chills. I can't stand to be down there when he's here, so I just come upstairs and stay in my room."
Chloe stopped reading and took another bite of her sandwich. Brady took a glance at the page himself and shrugged. "Mr. Lennox, huh? You think that might be him?"
"I don't know... I haven't got any further than this yet. But, it sounds suspicious so far."
"Well... keep going. Don't let me bother you."
Chloe smiled and kept skimming the pages. Several minutes later, she stopped and looked up at Brady. "Oh... here we go... I guess this Lennox guy came over a lot, and things just kept getting creepier."
She began reading from the journal out loud, "Last night was different. Usually I have my privacy upstairs, but while I was falling asleep I heard someone open the door. I thought maybe it was my father coming to tell me something, but it wasn't. It was him. He came in my room. I pretended to be asleep, but he kneeled on the edge of my bed and stroked my hair. He tried to touch me in other places but I told him to get out before I screamed. I wish Craig was home, I know that he would protect me from all of this. I tried to tell my father, but he wouldn't listen. He said that 'Sam Lennox is a very important man, and I'm not to accuse of those sort of things.'"
Chloe shook her head and sighed. She skimmed through a few more pages until she read another entry out loud. "Craig is home for Thanksgiving weekend and I couldn't be happier. I had planned to tell him about Sam, but when I saw how happy he was to see me, I couldn't bear to bring him down like that. Sam has tried a few more times to get intimate with me, but I have stopped him successfully. I'm sure that he'll give up soon. I hope so. Craig and I are spending every second together and tonight he is taking me out on his family's boat so we can have some privacy. I can't wait... I can forget about all my problems with Mr. Lennox and concentrate on my love for Craig."
"Boy... those two really had it bad for each other, didn't they?"
Chloe chuckled softly. "Still do actually... I just wonder what possessed her to lie to Craig for so long."
Chloe flipped a few pages but noticed something strange. "Brady... this is odd. Really odd."
Brady looked over her shoulder at what Chloe was reading. "What is it?"
"Well, after the entries on Thanksgiving... it just stops. Until after Christmas. This entry about spending time with Craig on the boat is the last one until January 10th. That's like 6 weeks, Brady."
Brady looked confused. "So... what happened? What made her stop writing?"
Chloe looked at the page in front of her dated January 10th, 1984. She drew in a deep breath as she saw the word rape float past her and snapped the book shut. "Oh My God... Brady... I can't even read it."
Brady took the book out of her hand and turned to the page she had left off on. "I haven't written anything in my journal for over 6 weeks. There is so much to say, but I could never find the words to say what happened. I have been raped and nobody will listen. I came back from my date with Craig on Saturday after Thanksgiving to what I thought was a sleeping house. When I got to my room, he was there. I tried to run away, but he grabbed me and threw me to the bed. I tried so hard to stop it but I couldn't. I froze. I couldn't even scream, and even if I had, nobody would have heard me. My father was passed out drunk downstairs, I'm sure. I've tried to tell him what happened, but he doesn't care. He says that his business deals with Sam Lennox are too important for me to send Sam to jail. I can't tell Craig... I am too ashamed of what happened to ever tell him. I can never tell him."
Chloe had tears running down her face when she looked over at Brady. "I don't even know what to say..."
Brady drew her to him and wrapped his arms around her. "You don't have to say anything, Chloe..."
She sobbed into his chest and he held her tighter. She lifted her head and looked at him with watery eyes. "When I was a kid, I used to dream that even though they abandoned me, that maybe my parents did love each other and that maybe I was conceived out of love. When Nancy told me that she was raped, I didn't want to believe it. But, now I know the truth. My father was nothing but a horrible, despicable human being who took advantage of a innocent girl. I should have never been born, Brady... I shouldn't be here."
Brady handed her a napkin to wipe the tears and kissed her on the forehead gently. "Don't say that, Chloe... Please don't say that. The circumstances around your birth may have been tragic, but that doesn't mean your life has to turn out that way too. Just because you weren't conceived in love doesn't mean that your existence has no meaning."
Chloe wiped her tears with the napkin and took a few deep breaths in. "The words sound good, Brady... but I just don't know if I can believe them."
Brady looked at her in shock. "Chloe... you HAVE to believe them. Maybe your existence means nothing to you, but it means a lot to the rest of us. I know that my life wouldn't be the same without you in it. And, I think I speak for Shawn and Belle too on that matter. And you have to know that Craig and Nancy care for you a lot. No matter what you might think, there are people who love you. And it doesn't matter how you were brought into this world, it only matters that you're in it now."
Chloe sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. "I just wish things could have been different... Why did so much pain have to be caused because of an event that never had to happen?"
"I don't know... but, you have to let go of the past sometimes. I know that there's been a lot of pain and hard times, but you can't dwell on it or let it rule your life anymore."
Chloe chuckled softly. "And that's coming from the King of Grudges..."
Brady nodded his head in agreement. "Used to be... But, Marlena and I both realized that we were living in the past. Dwelling on things that happened years ago... misunderstandings, and mistakes of the past. I let my hatred rule me and I was miserable and so was she. So, we let it go... The present and the future are too important to waste on yesterday."
Chloe looked at Brady in amazement. "Sometimes you frighten me."
Brady laughed quietly. "Really? Why is that?"
"You sound like a book. Or that Dr. Phil guy on Oprah."
"Now you are frightening me... You watch Oprah?"
Chloe shook her head and smiled. "No... Nancy does. She says that she likes Dr. Phil because he 'tells it like it is'..."
Brady laughed. "Well, I've had a lot of practice with psychotherapy... I have lived most of my life with the world-renowned Dr. Marlena Evans Black."
Chloe raised her eyebrows at him. "World renowned, huh?"
"So, I've heard..." Brady smiled at her briefly, "So, what next? More reading?"
Chloe cringed in her seat. "I probably should read the rest of it... But, I don't know if I can take any more of this today."
"We've got over a week before we even have to go home. Take your time."
Chloe nodded. "Can we just find a hotel to stay in for tonight? I'll decide what to do in the morning..."
Brady smiled and stood up. He took her hand and helped her from the bench. "Alright then... let's get outta here."
Chloe held the three journals tightly and followed Brady to the parking lot. As she got in to the van, she wondered if Sam Lennox still lived in Newport. And if he does, will I have the strength to face him?
***
Chloe sat completely alone on a bench at the edge of the park. Brady had left her alone to read while he took a walk around the park. She had already finished skimming the first book, but found nothing in there. A lot of talk about school and Nancy's relationship with Craig. But nothing that alluded to Chloe or her father. Chloe began on the second book with a sigh. The first part was mostly Nancy lamenting the fact that Craig was away at medical school, and how much she missed him. But, about 25 pages in... Chloe noticed something out of the ordinary.
"Chloe..."
Chloe broke out of her trance and looked up. Brady had come back with his hands full and he plopped down on the bench beside her. "Hey... There's a little cafe on the other end of the park. I got you an iced mocha and a turkey sandwich... whole wheat of course."
Chloe took the food from his hands and looked at him strangely. "Weird... I was thinking earlier about how much I miss the Dot.Com iced mochas."
Brady grinned at her and sipped his own drink. "You mean, I never told you that I was psychic?"
Chloe rolled her eyes and laughed. "Well, just promise me that you will use your mystic powers of divining for good and not evil."
Brady nodded knowingly. "See... that's the thing. I'm only psychic when it comes to things like... 'Chloe is craving a mocha' or 'Chloe prefers whole wheat over white bread'. The big stuff is out of my reach."
Chloe nodded understandingly. "So... it's a blessing AND a curse then."
"Pretty much... So, did you find anything good yet?"
Chloe shrugged and took a bite of her sandwich. "I don't know... The first book was pretty useless. Your basic teenage rambling kinda stuff. But, the second one might be helpful. This was all written when Craig was away in medical school and they were apart."
"Around the time that she got pregnant?"
"Mm-hmmm... Check this out..." Chloe took a quick sip of her drink before reading out of the journal. She pointed at the page and began reading; "Craig called me from school yesterday. He couldn't talk long because he was on his way to class. I miss him terribly but I'm trying to stay occupied with my studies. I noticed something strange though. Mr. Lennox is coming over to the house a lot more than usual. He usually comes over after dinner and has drinks with my father. They spend the rest of the night in the study discussing 'business' dealings and telling stories. I don't know what it is about him, but he creeps me out. He just looks at me sometimes and it gives me chills. I can't stand to be down there when he's here, so I just come upstairs and stay in my room."
Chloe stopped reading and took another bite of her sandwich. Brady took a glance at the page himself and shrugged. "Mr. Lennox, huh? You think that might be him?"
"I don't know... I haven't got any further than this yet. But, it sounds suspicious so far."
"Well... keep going. Don't let me bother you."
Chloe smiled and kept skimming the pages. Several minutes later, she stopped and looked up at Brady. "Oh... here we go... I guess this Lennox guy came over a lot, and things just kept getting creepier."
She began reading from the journal out loud, "Last night was different. Usually I have my privacy upstairs, but while I was falling asleep I heard someone open the door. I thought maybe it was my father coming to tell me something, but it wasn't. It was him. He came in my room. I pretended to be asleep, but he kneeled on the edge of my bed and stroked my hair. He tried to touch me in other places but I told him to get out before I screamed. I wish Craig was home, I know that he would protect me from all of this. I tried to tell my father, but he wouldn't listen. He said that 'Sam Lennox is a very important man, and I'm not to accuse of those sort of things.'"
Chloe shook her head and sighed. She skimmed through a few more pages until she read another entry out loud. "Craig is home for Thanksgiving weekend and I couldn't be happier. I had planned to tell him about Sam, but when I saw how happy he was to see me, I couldn't bear to bring him down like that. Sam has tried a few more times to get intimate with me, but I have stopped him successfully. I'm sure that he'll give up soon. I hope so. Craig and I are spending every second together and tonight he is taking me out on his family's boat so we can have some privacy. I can't wait... I can forget about all my problems with Mr. Lennox and concentrate on my love for Craig."
"Boy... those two really had it bad for each other, didn't they?"
Chloe chuckled softly. "Still do actually... I just wonder what possessed her to lie to Craig for so long."
Chloe flipped a few pages but noticed something strange. "Brady... this is odd. Really odd."
Brady looked over her shoulder at what Chloe was reading. "What is it?"
"Well, after the entries on Thanksgiving... it just stops. Until after Christmas. This entry about spending time with Craig on the boat is the last one until January 10th. That's like 6 weeks, Brady."
Brady looked confused. "So... what happened? What made her stop writing?"
Chloe looked at the page in front of her dated January 10th, 1984. She drew in a deep breath as she saw the word rape float past her and snapped the book shut. "Oh My God... Brady... I can't even read it."
Brady took the book out of her hand and turned to the page she had left off on. "I haven't written anything in my journal for over 6 weeks. There is so much to say, but I could never find the words to say what happened. I have been raped and nobody will listen. I came back from my date with Craig on Saturday after Thanksgiving to what I thought was a sleeping house. When I got to my room, he was there. I tried to run away, but he grabbed me and threw me to the bed. I tried so hard to stop it but I couldn't. I froze. I couldn't even scream, and even if I had, nobody would have heard me. My father was passed out drunk downstairs, I'm sure. I've tried to tell him what happened, but he doesn't care. He says that his business deals with Sam Lennox are too important for me to send Sam to jail. I can't tell Craig... I am too ashamed of what happened to ever tell him. I can never tell him."
Chloe had tears running down her face when she looked over at Brady. "I don't even know what to say..."
Brady drew her to him and wrapped his arms around her. "You don't have to say anything, Chloe..."
She sobbed into his chest and he held her tighter. She lifted her head and looked at him with watery eyes. "When I was a kid, I used to dream that even though they abandoned me, that maybe my parents did love each other and that maybe I was conceived out of love. When Nancy told me that she was raped, I didn't want to believe it. But, now I know the truth. My father was nothing but a horrible, despicable human being who took advantage of a innocent girl. I should have never been born, Brady... I shouldn't be here."
Brady handed her a napkin to wipe the tears and kissed her on the forehead gently. "Don't say that, Chloe... Please don't say that. The circumstances around your birth may have been tragic, but that doesn't mean your life has to turn out that way too. Just because you weren't conceived in love doesn't mean that your existence has no meaning."
Chloe wiped her tears with the napkin and took a few deep breaths in. "The words sound good, Brady... but I just don't know if I can believe them."
Brady looked at her in shock. "Chloe... you HAVE to believe them. Maybe your existence means nothing to you, but it means a lot to the rest of us. I know that my life wouldn't be the same without you in it. And, I think I speak for Shawn and Belle too on that matter. And you have to know that Craig and Nancy care for you a lot. No matter what you might think, there are people who love you. And it doesn't matter how you were brought into this world, it only matters that you're in it now."
Chloe sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. "I just wish things could have been different... Why did so much pain have to be caused because of an event that never had to happen?"
"I don't know... but, you have to let go of the past sometimes. I know that there's been a lot of pain and hard times, but you can't dwell on it or let it rule your life anymore."
Chloe chuckled softly. "And that's coming from the King of Grudges..."
Brady nodded his head in agreement. "Used to be... But, Marlena and I both realized that we were living in the past. Dwelling on things that happened years ago... misunderstandings, and mistakes of the past. I let my hatred rule me and I was miserable and so was she. So, we let it go... The present and the future are too important to waste on yesterday."
Chloe looked at Brady in amazement. "Sometimes you frighten me."
Brady laughed quietly. "Really? Why is that?"
"You sound like a book. Or that Dr. Phil guy on Oprah."
"Now you are frightening me... You watch Oprah?"
Chloe shook her head and smiled. "No... Nancy does. She says that she likes Dr. Phil because he 'tells it like it is'..."
Brady laughed. "Well, I've had a lot of practice with psychotherapy... I have lived most of my life with the world-renowned Dr. Marlena Evans Black."
Chloe raised her eyebrows at him. "World renowned, huh?"
"So, I've heard..." Brady smiled at her briefly, "So, what next? More reading?"
Chloe cringed in her seat. "I probably should read the rest of it... But, I don't know if I can take any more of this today."
"We've got over a week before we even have to go home. Take your time."
Chloe nodded. "Can we just find a hotel to stay in for tonight? I'll decide what to do in the morning..."
Brady smiled and stood up. He took her hand and helped her from the bench. "Alright then... let's get outta here."
Chloe held the three journals tightly and followed Brady to the parking lot. As she got in to the van, she wondered if Sam Lennox still lived in Newport. And if he does, will I have the strength to face him?
***