The
next morning, after an uneventful breakfast, Tenal Ka and Jaina found
themselves in a room full of bustling dress designers, who busied themselves by
taking countless measurements and finding dozens of dresses for the two to try
on. Ta'a Chume had spared no expense
for her granddaughter's wedding. She
had hired the best dress designers and fashion experts that the Hapes Cluster
had to offer.
As much as Jaina appreciated Tenal
Ka choosing her as her maid of honour, she did not appreciate being constantly
poked and prodded with needles as the designers took her measurements to try to
construct the perfect dress for her. When she looked over at Tenal Ka, she could tell the warrior girl was
not fairing much better. She looked
like she would be having more fun if she were pulling teeth from a rancor than
having all this fuss made over her, even though this was for her wedding after
all. Jaina herself would have much
rather spent the morning exploring the city or working on the Lightning Rod
with Zekk, but she knew this had to be done with the wedding only a few days
away.
"Your parents will be arriving soon, will they not?" Tenal Ka asked from where she was trying on
yet another dress.
Jaina was glad for the chance to get her mind off the
horrendous dress-fitting ordeal and she sensed that was the reason why Tenal Ka
had asked her. "Yeah, I spoke to my dad
last night and he said they should be arriving sometime tomorrow morning." Ambassador Leia Organa Solo and Han Solo had
been invited to the wedding as official representatives of the New
Republic. Also, Leia was old friends
with Prince Isolder even though they didn't get to see each other that often. Luke Skywalker would not be attending,
however. He was needed at the Academy
to continue training his students, since the galaxy needed all the Jedi Knights
it could get its hands on with the Yuuzhan Vong invasion and more planets being
conquered by them every day.
Jaina cleared her throat and spoke again, "Zeille seemed
nice enough but I think he has something against the Jedi,"
"He thinks they are nothing special but he will never
come right out and say it because he knows I am one and is probably afraid of
how I might react," Tenal Ka responded and Jaina thought she could detect the
barest hint of a smile appear on the warrior girl's face.
Jaina bit her lower lip. She hadn't wanted to say anything but she couldn't help herself. "I don't think Zeille and Jacen hit it off
too well," she remarked.
Tenal Ka shrugged stiffly. "I noticed it was rather… awkward for him," she replied,
referring to Jacen.
Jaina suppressed the desire to cry out in pain as another
needle poked her. "I've never seen him
act like that before," she continued as she turned around for one of the dress
designers.
"No, Jacen usually has more control than that," Tenal Ka
agreed.
Jaina raised an eyebrow at her friend. "Well, something
caused him to lose control last night."
Tenal Ka started. "Just what are you– " she cut her own
self off and turned to the bustling dress designers. "You already have enough
measurements to make dresses for the entire New Republic, leave us be," she
commanded them. They obediently heeded
to the princess' request, knowing there was no room for dispute by the tone of
her voice, and filed out of the room one by one. Tenal Ka waited until the last one was gone and the door to the
room shut behind her before speaking again. "What are you suggesting, friend Jaina?"
"Look," Jaina began, "you and I both know that the reason
my brother behaved the way he did last night was because he's jealous. Why else would he have run off like that
after dinner without saying anything to anyone?"
Tenal Ka stared at her friend utterly perplexed, as if Jaina
had just told her it was raining crystal snakes outside. "I do not know what
you mean," she said, finding a nearby chair to sit on.
"Come on, Tenal Ka, this is me you're talking to," Jaina
said as she pulled up a chair and sat down in front of her friend. "You and I
both know that Jacen's been chasing after you since the day he met you. And after awhile it seemed like you enjoyed
all the attention my brother gave you," Tenal Ka seemed about to protest but
Jaina hurried on, "don't worry, it was only really obvious to the people who
knew you," she said with a Solo lopsided grin.
Tenal Ka spoke up from where she sat. "Jacen and I had a…
special relationship," she said at last. "He would always try so hard to make
me laugh with his jokes, even though they were usually humourless," Jaina could
see her friend struggling not to smile at the memories of the awful jokes Jacen
used to tell her to try to crack a smile out of the seemingly humourless girl
from Dathomir. "He was there for me
after my lightsaber accident and I know I would have not survived the harsh
cold of Ryloth without him. I owe Jacen
my life a dozen times over." Her gaze
seemed to be off in the distance as if she were remembering all of the adventures
and moments she and Jacen had shared together.
Jaina
was unaccustomed to her friend's uncharacteristic display of emotion. She had never seen Tenal Ka get this
sentimental over anything before. In
fact she could not remember a time when Tenal Ka had opened herself up like
this to anyone.
"Jacen
feels the same way. He thinks he owes
you so much because of everything you've done for him,"
Tenal
Ka shook her head, causing her braids to swing back and forth wildly. "Jacen does not owe me anything."
Both
were silent for a while until Jaina worked up the courage to ask the question
that had been going around in her mind for months now. She knew she would probably kick herself
later for asking it when it was really none of her business, but her own
curiosity got the better of her. "Tenal
Ka, why did you really leave the academy? I know the last thing that you would have wanted was to become tied down
with marriage and all kinds of political responsibilities. "
Tenal
Ka hesitated. How could she tell her
friend the truth? How could she tell
her that her real reason for leaving had been because she was no longer able to
watch the man that she loved fall for someone else? What would Jaina think of her for letting her emotions lead her
to make such an irrational and foolish decision?
Jaina
sensed her friend's hesitation. "It had
something to do with Jacen, didn't it?" She asked in a low voice.
"It
had nothing to do with him!" She snapped, responding more sharply than she had intended
to, but she knew it did not matter. Jaina could see right through her lie. She had been hiding the truth for so long that she felt she would
spontaneously combust if she didn't tell someone soon. If she couldn't tell Jaina, one of her
closest and most trusted friends, then who could she tell? She most certainly couldn't tell Jacen, even
though he was her best friend and she confided in him about everything. Well, almost everything…
"I'm
right, aren't I?" Jaina pressed.
Tenal
Ka stared down at her feet. "You are
correct, friend Jaina," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Jaina
sat silently, waiting patiently for her friend to continue.
"When
we left the academy and went our separate ways," she began slowly, "we left so
many things unsaid between us, but I guess we were both too afraid to say
anything." Tenal Ka looked up from her feet and turned to Jaina. "I have never
depended on anyone in my life. I always
prided myself on being independent and being able to handle any situation that got
thrown my way. But slowly, over time I
began to depend on Jacen, both emotionally and physically. I saw it as a weakness within myself, but at
the same time it frightened me to see how much I took pleasure in always having
someone there for me, willing to fight by my side or to comfort me.
"When
I kissed him for the first time, down by the lake," she said in a reminiscent
tone, "I thought I had done it to
surprise him. I soon realized that I
had done it not so much as to surprise him but because I had wanted to kiss him
for as long as I could remember, but had never actually been able to work up
the courage to do it. That kiss brought
us even closer, if that were actually possible, but we never really did say how
we felt about each other. I guess we
both assumed that the other already knew how we really felt. Then when it came time to go our separate
ways after graduation, we both thought that the other would always be there.
"People
can change, though. When we met again
after so many months, things went back to the way they had always been when we
were together at the academy, with the exception of Danni. It was obvious that Jacen cared about her a
great deal but I had not realized how much until I stumbled upon the two of
them kissing by the lake one night. I tried
to convince myself that I didn't care but as I saw the two of them growing
closer and closer I had a harder time convincing myself. Eventually, I got tired of watching the two
of them together everyday and that is when I made my decision to return to
Hapes. I was on Hapes for less than a
week when my grandmother started prodding me to find a suitable husband, so
that when it came time for me to rule Hapes, I would not have to shoulder all
of the responsibility alone. I was too
hurt and angry to disagree with her. A
month later I decided on Zeille as an acceptable husband."
Jaina,
who had been listening intently to her friend's story, spoke up and said,
"Jacen told me he tried to get you to stay, why didn't you just tell him then
how you really felt?"
Tenal Ka stood up and began pacing. The topic at hand was obviously making her quite
restless. "I do not know why I did not
tell him then how I felt. But even if I
had, it would not have made any difference. Jacen had made it obvious about his feelings concerning Danni Quee. He no longer felt the same way about me as
he did for years when we were training to be Jedi Knights. There was nothing to keep me on Yavin Four
any longer, so I left," Tenal Ka finished.
For one of the few times in her life Jaina was at a loss
for words. She had had no idea how deep
Tenal Ka's feelings ran for her brother. She shook her head. Her brother
could be so…so stupid sometimes. She
knew that Jacen entertained similar feelings for the warrior girl, but for some
strange reason he seemed unable to admit his true feelings to her. But how could she tell Tenal Ka this? She had seen firsthand how close Danni and
Jacen had become. She had even seen
them kissing for Jedi's sake. She knew
her brother cared about Danni a great deal but in her heart Jaina also knew
Danni was not the one her brother wanted. Tenal Ka and Jacen knew each other better than they knew
themselves. So why was it so difficult
for the two of them to admit how they really felt? What were they so afraid of?
When Jaina didn't say anything, Tenal Ka continued. "Now do you understand why I never told
anyone the real reason why I left? I
let my emotions and feelings take over, and allowed them to make my decisions
for me, something I have never done in my life. I hope that you do not think any less of me now that you know the
truth."
Jaina smiled at her friend. "Don't worry, I don't. What you did is little something known as 'being human'. Everyone does it, some more than others, but
you," she said with a shake of her head, "you work so hard at hiding and
controlling your feelings that you've never experienced having your emotions
impact your decisions. Until now."
"This is a fact," Tenal Ka said, nodding her head in
agreement.
Jaina raised a curious eyebrow at her friend when she did
not continue. "What are you waiting
for? You need to find Jacen and tell
him what you just told me before it's too late." Once Tenal Ka found Jacen and told him exactly what she had just
told her she knew it would make her brother the happiest man alive. He had been so distant and moody for months
now, and this news would change everything! But Jaina's celebrating was short lived.
"I cannot tell him anything," the warrior girl responded
flatly.
Jaina stared at her in disbelief. "What are you talking about? Once he knows how you feel he'll break it
off with Danni and the two of you can be together. Trust me, Jacen has been waiting to know that you have feelings
for him that go beyond friendship since the day he met you."
"Friend Jaina, you must not say anything about what I
have told you to anyone, especially not to Jacen," Tenal Ka pleaded.
Jaina could not believe what she was hearing. "From what I gathered from your story Jacen
is the one you want to be with not Zeille. You have to break off this whole wedding thing before it's too late."
Tenal Ka shook her head. "That is impossible. I have
already made my choice. The wedding
must go on as planned. To break it off
now would disgrace my family as well as Zeille's," she explained.
"But you don't love him!" Jaina blurted out.
"In time, perhaps I will,"
Jaina sighed. "You know Jacen and I share a special bond. We can't hide anything from each other. Especially not something like this."
"You must. Besides, it would change nothing if you told him what I have just told
you. Your telling him would only
complicate matters," then she turned and looked pleadingly into her friends
eyes. "Please try to understand, Jaina. I have no choice but to go through with this
marriage. I have no desire to get
married to anyone right now but I can think of worse off situations. I chose this path and I intend to see it
through. I know I am putting you in a
awkward position by asking you to keep this from Jacen but it is for the best,"
but Tenal Ka didn't feel nearly as confident or convinced as she sounded.
Jaina sighed,
feeling defeated. She had no choice but
to go along with her friend's wishes, at least for now. Everything was up to Jacen now. She only hoped her brother would open his
eyes and get his act together before it was too late. If it wasn't too late already.