"I
should have said something to him," Jaina chastened herself, as the group made
their way into the Palace's turbolift. Jaina hit the button for the second floor. They had spent the past hour and a half looking for Jacen and
Tenal Ka to no avail. By now, they were
cold and wet. They had come back to get
changed and then they were going out looking again.
"You didn't know this was going to happen," Zekk said to her.
"Maybe if I had said something none of this would
have happened," she continued, not really listening to him.
Zekk put a comforting arm around her shoulders. "It wasn't up to you to make Jacen and Tenal
Ka realize how they felt about each other. They had to find that out on their own."
Jaina didn't say anything. She felt a little better, but not much as the turbolift stopped
at their floor and the group piled out. Zekk's room was the first one on the floor and they stopped just outside
his door.
"We're going to change and then we're going out looking
again," Jaina said indicating to Anakin and Tahiri.
"What about me?" asked Zekk.
"You stay her, incase Jacen or Tenal Ka comes back. If they do," she went on pulling out an
extra comlink from her pocket and handing it to him, "call me on the comm. Will be back soon if we don't find them."
Tahiri suggested, "maybe they don't want to be found,"
Jaina turned to her, "I hope that's all it is,"
Sometime later, there was a knock on Zekk's door. He knew it wasn't Jaina because she probably
would've called him on the comlink to say she was coming back. He opened it to reveal a very distraught
looking Jacen Solo. He was still
wearing his suit from the wedding ceremony that morning, minus the jacket, and
it was damp and rumpled. It was not
fairing much better than its owner. Jacen looked like he'd been to hell and back.
"Can I come in?" he asked in a low voice.
"Yeah, of course," Zekk said gesturing inside.
Instead of sitting down, he proceeded to Zekk's huge bay
window and stared intently outside.
Instead of asking what happened, Zekk blurted out, "we've
been looking everywhere for you,"
Jacen tore his gaze away from outside and faced Zekk.
"What for?"
Zekk eyed him quizzically. "What do you mean 'what
for'? We were worried after you and
Tenal Ka just took off like that. Jaina
– "
"Where is Jaina?"
"She's still out looking for you with Anakin and
Tahiri. I'll get her on the comm and
tell her you're here –"
"No, don't"
"She's worried about you," Zekk protested.
"I don't want to face her right now. That's why I came to you," he explained.
He looked like he needed to talk to someone badly, so
Zekk asked, "do you wanna talk about what happened?"
Jacen snorted and sat down on the edge of Zekk's
bed. "Let's just say that her running out
of the palace was the better part of my day,"
He couldn't even say her name.
"That bad, huh?" Zekk could have kicked himself for his insensitivity to his friend's
dilemma, but Jacen either didn't notice or didn't seem to care.
Jacen ran his fingers through his tangled hair. "I ran after her 'til I found her in the
Palace garden. She wouldn't even look
at me at first. When she finally turned
around her face was all red from crying. We argued for a bit and then she told me she loved me too but we couldn't
be together because she was already bound to marriage with Zeille."
"I'm sorry," was
all Zekk could think of to say.
"Don't be. It's
my fault. I don't know what I was
thinking telling her I loved her in front of a room full of people in the middle
of her wedding. I had no right. She's my best friend and I ruined what was
supposed to be the happiest day of her life."
"Jacen, you –"
"Look, Zekk, you don't have to try and make me feel
better, cuz whatever you say isn't going to change anything," he got up to leave but stopped when he
reached the door handle.
"You can tell my sister to stop looking for me, "
"She's going to want to know what happened, and if you're
okay,"
"You can tell her whatever you want. I just want to be left alone." He opened the door and hesitated before
turning around. "Do you have anything
to drink?"
Jacen's question caught him completely off guard. "What?"
"On the Lightning Rod, " Jacen pressed, "I know
you probably have something stashed away there."
"Whoa Jacen, trust me, you don't want to do something
like that – "
"Look, whether you help me or not, I'm going to find
something," Jacen responded angrily and went to leave.
Zekk made a move to stop him, but Jacen pushed him out of
the way. Clearly he was ready to use
force if Zekk tried to get him to stay, so the only thing Zekk could do was let
him go.
"Getting drunk isn't going to change anything, Jace. Don't go doing something stupid that you're
gonna regret." Zekk called after him
"My whole life has been about regrets and stupid
mistakes, so one more won't make a difference," he replied and then walked
away.
Zekk wanted to go after him. With the frame of mind Jacen was in, it was very likely he
wouldn't think before acting. He
decided to call Jaina. She answered
right away and Zekk quickly explained what had happened and how Jacen had run
off. He told her to stay put and he
would come find her, then they would go chasing after her brother. Again.
"Why didn't you try and stop him?" asked Jaina as her and
Zekk made their way through the crowded Hapan city.
"I did try," Zekk answered, "but Jacen wasn't
about to stay anywhere he didn't want to be.
Jaina had sent Anakin and Tahiri back to the Palace, just
in case Jacen decided to go back there, which seemed very unlikely with the
state of mind he was in right now.
"I
just hope we find my brother before he does something stupid,"
Zekk stopped dead in his tracks, a guilty look on his
face.
Jaina eyed him suspiciously. "What is it Zekk? What aren't
you telling me?"
"He asked me if I had anything to drink,"
Jaina gave him a confused look.
"He wanted to know if I had any liquor onboard the Lightning
Rod," he clarified for her.
Jaina's eyes grew wide with concern. "Why would he want to know that? Jacen doesn't drink," she said more to
herself than to Zekk.
"I think he had plans on drowning his sorrows at the
bottom of a bottle,"
"Well, you told him you didn't, right?"
"Of course I did…but I think he could tell I was lying,"
Jaina raised an eyebrow at this.
Zekk spread his arms in a defensive gesture. "It's only there for emergencies,"
Jaina was too worried about her brother to inquire as to
what kind or an 'emergency' Zekk needed those items onboard his ship for.
A terrible thought occurred to her. "Does Jacen know the
access code to your ship?"
"Yeah, he does. You all do…" he trailed off, realizing where Jaina was going with this.
Jaina bit her lower lip. "We better get to your ship,"
"I'm right behind you,"
The two of them took off at breakneck speed towards the
docking bay where the Lighting Rod was birthed.
When they arrived, the Lightning Rod was still in
the same condition as when they had last left her. There didn't seem to be anyone in sight. However, a closer inspection revealed the Rod's
boarding ramp was down. Someone was
inside.
As they approached the ship, the occupant of it became
clearer. The force signature seemed to
be distorted for some reason, but Jaina would be able to detect that presence
anywhere.
She slowly made her way up the boarding ramp and into the
ship, with Zekk right behind her. Once
inside, Jaina let her vision adjust to the dim lighting of the ship. She proceeded carefully down the narrow
corridor, which led to the lounge area. She could see a light coming from there. When she finally reached it, she looked up to see her brother
sprawled lazily on a beat up repulsor couch, clutching a half-empty bottle in
his left hand. Just by looking at him,
Jaina could tell he was drunk.
"Well, what brings my darling sister and her boyfriend
all the way down here?" Jacen asked before taking another swing from his
bottle,"
"We were looking for you," Jaina replied.
"Well, you found me, so now you can go," he said in a
slurred voice.
"You're drunk," she said taking a step towards him. Zekk hung back in the doorway, knowing Jaina
wanted to handle this on her own.
"Am I really?" said Jacen in a mock serious voice before
he burst out laughing.
"Jacen, this isn't funny. What if mom and dad had been the ones to find you? What if Tenal Ka had?" The last part had been a mistake to say.
"She doesn't care," he spat, "and I don't care that she
doesn't care,"
"I'm sorry about what happened," Jaina said in a
sympathetic voice, "but she really does care about you and you know it."
"That's a load of bantha dung. All she cares about is herself," he slurred and then laughed
bitterly. "Then there's Danni. I sure
screwed that up. She'll probably never
speak to me again, not that I blame her."
Jaina suppressed a sigh. This wasn't going well at all. She truly felt sorry for her brother and hated seeing him in this much
pain, but he was going to be nursing a lot more than a broken heart if her and
Zekk didn't get him sobered up before their parents found him.
"Jacen, we need to get you out of here and back to your
room before mom and dad see you like this," Jaina explained.
"I don't care if they see me," he said and got up to
stand, but lost his balance. Only
Jaina's lightning fast reflexes allowed her to make it to her sibling's side
and steady him before he fell. Jacen
maneuvered out of his sister's grasp and staggered away from her.
"It doesn't matter," he said out loud.
"What doesn't matter?" Jaina asked him.
"Nothing. Nothing
matters anymore," he replied.
He sounded so empty it made Jaina's heart ache. She made a move to put a comforting hand on
his shoulder but he pushed her away.
"Just get out of here, Jaya," he slurred, using his
nickname for her when they had been little, "and leave me the hell alone," he
snapped.
"She's just trying to help," Zekk said stepping in. He knew Jaina could take care of herself but
he wasn't about to stand by and let Jacen push her around, no matter how drunk
he was.
Jacen eyed him. "Yeah, well, I don't need her help or the
help of ex-dark Jedi who thinks he's turned good,"
Zekk tensed beside Jaina, and she could sense his rising
anger. Zekk's past was a very touchy
subject since there was a lot of it he wasn't proud of. And turning to the dark side and becoming a
dark Jedi was one of them.
"Zekk, don't. He's drunk. He doesn't know what
he's saying," she said, placing a restraining hand on his arm.
"Come on Zekk," Jacen taunted, spreading his arms out
wide, "take your best shot,"
"Jacen, stop it," demanded Jaina.
Jacen ignored her. "Hey, maybe I wanna take a shot at the guy who's sleeping with my
sister,"
That was the last straw. Jaina did not have time to react before Zekk had Jacen slammed up
against the bulkhead of the ship. It
took every ounce of Zekk's self control not to pound Jacen into tomorrow. Jaina was right. He didn't know what he was saying but that didn't make it any
easy to handle. He had to take a deep
breath and count to ten before he spoke again.
"Whether you like it or not, we're taking you back to the
Palace. Even if we have to carry you
there," Zekk said through clenched teeth.
Zekk let up on Jacen enough so he could squirm free. But Jacen lost his balance in the process
and this time it was Zekk there to catch him, and Jacen wasn't in any condition
to put up much of a fight as Zekk and Jaina half carried, half dragged him off
the ship.
"If we're lucky, we can get him back to his room without
anyone seeing us,"
Zekk shifted Jacen's weight on his shoulder, but before
he could say anything, Jacen responded to his sister's comment by saying, "I
already told you guys I don't give a damn who sees me," he struggled to push
his sister and Zekk away, "I just want to be left alone, can't you understand
that?" He pleaded with his twin.
"I understand you want to be left alone, but being alone
is what got you into this mess in the first place,"
"Nobody asked for your help. I can take care of myself," he told them, pointing at himself
square in the chest.
Jaina begged to differ. Jacen couldn't even stand up straight, let alone walk straight. He was definitely in no condition to find
his own way back to the Palace.
"Jace, you're in no condition to walk anywhere by
yourself – " Jaina stopped talking when she realized her brother was no longer
listening to her, not like he had been listening to her in the first
place. Something else seemed to have
caught his attention. Both Jaina and
Zekk looked up to see Tenal Ka standing a few paces away from them. She was no longer wearing her wedding dress,
but was back in her familiar lizard-hide armor. Her hair was still in the same style as it had been for her
wedding, though it was falling apart, and she had taken out the glowing jewels
that had been in her hair.
Jaina had no idea how long Tenal Ka had been standing
there, but judging from the look on her friend's face she had been standing
there for sometime before anybody had noticed her.
Jaina hadn't seen her friend since that morning, and she
didn't look much better than when she had run out of the palace.
"We're just trying to get him back to the palace," was
all Jaina could think of to tell her.
"I need to talk to him," Tenal Ka told her.
Jaina bit her lower lip. With the state Jacen was in, he was liable to say things he would regret
later on. "Tenal Ka, I don't know if
that's such a good idea,"
"Jaina's right, Jacen doesn't know what he's saying. You're just going to get yourself hurt,"
said Zekk, stepping in.
"I appreciate your concern, but I have to do this," she
told them.
"If you say so," said Zekk, as Jaina and him stood aside
and watched her approach Jacen.
Tenal Ka had no idea what she should say to him. Actually, she wanted to yell at him for
doing something so stupid. The Jacen
she knew – and loved – would never have sunk so low as to getting drunk
to solve his problems. But she also
knew the last thing she wanted to do right now was upset him more by telling
him off. So all she said was, "why?"
"What do you mean, 'why'?" He said, unsteady on his feet. Glaring at her, he said, "I did this because of you,"
"Jacen – "
"No, don't try and get out of this like you've been able
to get out of everything else between us. This is your fault," he accused her.
"I never wanted to hurt you, Jacen. I never meant for any of this to happen,"
she said, trying to reason with him.
"Well it did, Princess," he was yelling at her
now, and Tenal Ka wondered if maybe her friends had been right.
At that point, he leaned in so close to her face that she
nearly recoiled from the strong stench of alcohol on his breath. "But you don't
have to worry about me anymore. Now you
can go back to taking care of yourself. You know, I hope Zeille's not as big of a fool as I was for getting
sucked into believing you really cared about me. Cuz you're too cold and unfeeling to really care about anyone but
yourself."
That was when she hit him. She didn't know what came over her, but before she knew it her
fist came into contact with his face, hitting him square in the jaw. He stumbled backwards at the force of the
blow, holding onto the spot on his face where she had just hit him.
She immediately regretted what she had done. She stood there, unmoving, stunned at her
actions.
Jacen was just as surprised as her. The left side of his face was alive with
pain, and he wondered briefly if she had hit him hard enough to break his
jaw. He found it hard to focus, and his
vision became fuzzy. The world was
spinning around him now, and he found it hard to stay on his feet. The last thing he remembered before passing
out was a pair of strong arms reaching out to catch him… and then oblivion.