It
was late the next morning when Jaina went down to the dining area for
breakfast. She had spent a restless
night tossing and turning, unable to get the image of her hurting, drunk
brother out of her head.
She was surprised to see Tenal Ka sitting at the table
eating breakfast by herself this late in the morning. Tenal Ka was almost always the first one up. She would do her usual ten-kilometer run,
take a shower and then still manage to be the first one seated at
breakfast. Jaina's guess was the
warrior girl had had as much of a fitful sleep as she had.
Jaina crossed the room, making her way to where her
friend was seated, stopping only long enough to grab a cup of steaming caf off
a nearby table before sitting down across from Tenal Ka.
"Morning," Jaina said, before taking a sip from her mug.
Tenal Ka looked up from her plate of uneaten food that
she had been pushing around, and gave her friend a nod to acknowledge she had
heard her but said nothing.
"I'm guessing you slept about as good as I did," Jaina
said to her.
It had been impossible for her to get Jacen out of her
head even for a second last night, but all she said was, "this is a fact," in a
flat tone.
"You know he didn't mean anything he said," Jaina said,
trying to comfort her.
"He had a right to be angry with me," she wouldn't come
out and say it but a part of her felt responsible for what had happened with
Jacen. She had hurt him deeply.
Jaina could sense her friend's self reproach. "It wasn't your fault he got drunk. He made that choice on his own."
"I hit him,"
"And Jacen deserved it," said Jaina, defending her
friend's actions, "he'll be the first one to tell you that."
Tenal Ka looked down at her plate to try to hide the
expression on her face. "I never meant
to hurt him, but he knew that there was no way I could get out of my marriage,
even after…" she trailed off, and shook her head to clear it. "Jaina, you must believe me that I would
never hurt you brother on purpose."
"I know that. And
I also know the only way to make things right between the two of you again is
for you to march up to his room and tell him you want to be with him and not
Zeille,"
The warrior girl shook her head. "I cannot. Zeille and I are legally married now, even without the ceremony."
Jaina asked, "what does Zeille think about everything
that's happened?"
Her friend shrugged. "We did not speak much when I got home last night,"
"Did you sleep with him?"
Tenal Ka shot her a look. "Jaina, Zeille and I are married now, and even though it is none
of your business, no, Zeille and I did not sleep together. I…I couldn't," was all she could think of to
say.
Because you love my brother and would never do that to
him, thought Jaina, but before she could express her opinion, she felt a
subtle shift in her friend's emotions as her gaze shifted to the doorway. Jaina turned in her seat to see who it was,
and was surprised to see her brother standing just inside the dining area,
clutching a steaming mug with both hands. When he noticed both their gazes on him, the expression on his face quickly
changed to one of guilt. Guilt because
he was remembering everything that he'd said and done the night before. He turned away from them, ashamed. But before Jaina had a chance to call out to
him, Jacen hurried out of the room.
She shouldn't have been in there, Jacen thought
silently, she should have been up hours ago. Seeing Tenal Ka today was one of the last things Jacen
wanted. How was he supposed to try
to get over her if he kept seeing her wherever he went? He hadn't planned on running into his sister
either, at least Zekk wasn't there. That would have been too much having the three of them after what he had
said to them last night.
It all came back to him like a bantha punching him in his
gut. Those horrible things he had said
to Zekk and his sister. Zekk should
have pounded him into the wall of his ship for what he had said. Drunk or not, Jacen had been out of line. His sister was probably furious with him
too. He couldn't blame either one of them
if they never wanted to speak to him again.
Then there was what happened with Tenal Ka. Jacen squeezed his eyes his shut, wishing he
could take back everything he had said to her last night. If their friendship hadn't been over before
that, it was most certainly over now. How could she ever forgive him after those awful things he had said to
her? He felt the swollen spot on his
jaw where she had hit him. There was
already a large blue and purplish bruise there. He was lucky she hadn't broken it. She had been just as stunned as him when she had done it. He remembered the hurt look in her eyes
after telling her she was too cold to care about anyone. How could he have said that to her when he
knew it couldn't be farther from the truth?
He was so wrapped up in his own guilt, that when he
turned a corner he bumped straight into Danni, spilling his cup of caf down his
shirt. Though, dirty clothes were the
least of his worries at the moment.
He searched for the right words to say. The words that would make everything okay
between them again. He couldn't find
any, and was thankful when Danni broke the silence first.
"What happened to your face?" She asked, trying not to sound too concerned after everything
that had happened.
He tried to smile, but it hurt too much. "I had a little accident with someone's
fist," he explained. He figured Danni
thought it was Zeille who had delivered the blow. Jacen wished Zeille had been the one to hit him. It probably would have hurt less.
"I'm
sorry," he told her at last. He seemed
to be saying those words a lot lately.
Danni just stood there, staring at him long and hard
before finally saying, "I'm sorry too."
Jacen quickly shook his head, adding to his already
increasing headache. Thankfully, he had
been able to apply a Jedi healing technique to get rid of most of the lingering
affects of his hangover.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," he said firmly, "I
was the one who hurt you,"
"Can I be honest with you?" Danni asked, finding a nearby
repulsor bench to sit on.
Jacen followed her. "Of course,"
"I knew that what happened yesterday was going to happen
a long time ago," she said simply.
"What?"
She turned to face him with sad eyes. "Jacen, I was so grateful to you – and I
still am – for rescuing me from the Vong. But I figured any relationship, aside from friendship, would be
impossible given our age differences, even after I knew how you felt about
me. When things finally started to
happen, I met Tenal Ka for the first time. You two were so perfect for each other, yet you both failed to see
it. I finally decided I could settle
for being second best."
"Danni, you weren't second best," he tried unsuccessfully
to convince her.
"It's okay, Jacen,"
Was she right? As
much as he hated to admit that he had been that shallow, Danni was right. In convincing himself that Tenal Ka would
never return anything but platonic feelings for him, he had in fact settled for
Danni. Someone who he cared deeply for
and shared similar feelings for him.
"We never really said how we felt," Danni went on, "I
guess because deep down we both knew the truth." She took a deep breath. "I just want you to know that I don't hate you,"
"You should," Jacen replied, "after how I hurt you,"
"You did hurt me, but I can't hate you just because it's
not me that you're in love with," she got up from the bench. "I'm catching a shuttle back to Courscant in
a few hours," she explained.
Jacen looked up at her, "You don't have to go,"
This time Danni was the one to shake her head. "Yes I do. I can't stay here anymore. Good-bye Jacen," and then she was gone, leaving Jacen alone, once again.
It wasn't until late in the evening on her second full
day of marriage, that Tenal Ka was able to return to her new apartment in the palace
that she shared with Zeille. She had
spent the past two days meeting with well-wishers and other diplomats and
dignitaries eager to greet the newly married Princess of Hapes. Somehow, Zeille had managed to avoid all of
this, saying he had business things that needed taking care of before they left
on their honeymoon.
Honeymoon…
She sighed, and lazily flopped down on a nearby couch.
She had answered everyone's questions as politely as
possible, even when they got a little too personal. The one question that seemed to play on everyone's mind was who
was that young man that had disrupted the wedding ceremony and what had happened afterwards. Their prying into her personal life made her
sick, but years of living in the Hapan Court had taught her that diplomacy was
the best way of dealing with any unsettling questions, so they would not get
the satisfaction of seeing how upset their questions made you.
She got up and headed towards the refresher to take a
shower. She was only halfway there
before Zeille walked in the door.
"Tenal Ka, are you here?" He called out.
She walked back into the living area. "What is it, Zeille?"
"We need to talk about something,"
Tenal Ka sighed impatiently. "Can it not wait until later?"
"No, we need to talk about it now,"
"Well?" She
inquired with an arched eyebrow.
"It concerns your current ship, the Rock Dragon,"
She gave him a puzzled look. "What about it?"
Zeille hesitated, trying to find a response that would
upset her the least, and that irritated her even more.
Finally he spoke, "I find it highly inappropriate and
dangerous that a person of your high status go gallivanting around the galaxy
in something that small and inadequately armed."
Tenal Ka's eyebrows rose further until they were
practically jumping off her forehead. "You want me to get rid of my ship?"
"Well, yes. I
simply want you to find something more suitable for a princess to travel
in. Perhaps a Hapan Battle Dragon," he
suggested.
She was angry now. How dare he suggest that she simply 'give up' something that meant so
much to her? The Rock Dragon had
been the ship her and her friends had taken on so many of their
adventures. At times, it had become
like a second home to her. It held too
many fond memories for her to just give it up because Zeille told her to.
"No," she said quietly but firmly.
"Excuse me?"
"No, I will not give up my ship just because it does not
suit you."
"Look, I don't think you understand – "
"No, I do not think you understand. That ship means a lot to me, and it is just
that. My ship. How dare you tell me to get rid of it," she
fumed. It seemed that these days she
was having a harder time keeping her emotions in check.
Zeille glared at her. "I think you're out of line, princess," he said, deliberately
calling her by her title because he knew how much she hated it. "Now that we're married, you'll do whatever
I tell you to do,"
Tenal Ka moved so close to him that their bodies were
mere centimeters apart. He was taller
than her, so she looked up at him, furry evident in her eyes.
"If you think that for one second you can order me
around, you are gravely mistaken,"
"Is that a threat?"
She glared daggers at him. "It can be,"
Disgusted and outraged, Zeille walked away from her and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.