Eyes Like Fire, Yet Cold As Ice.
- Chapter Two - There's Still Hope
- - By Aal
- - My e-mail is aal@evangelion.com
The door slamming awoke Misato from her daydreaming. Even though it was cold outside, the
apartment was warm and cosy. It was a mess, since Shinji hadn't cleaned it in three days.
"Oh, it's you, Shinji. You were out for a while."
Misato was sitting at the kitchen table. Shinji did not feel well at all. Physically and
emotionally, he was a wreck. Even though Shinji hated being ignored, and hated the way his father
behaved, he had to go to his lovely suite, and ignore Misato in the process, even if it was just
for a moment.
Just before he arrived at his door, somebody else was exiting their's.
"You idiot, where have you been?!"
Shinji limped slowly past her.
"Don't ignore me! Answer me!"
He could barely get it out.
"L-leave me alone, Asuka..."
Shinji opened his door and slipped in.
...
'Good...she didn't follow me...'
Shinji slumped against the wall on his bed, letting his mind flood with questions.
'Am I really like my father?'
'Am I really that pathetic? Standing up for NOT being like my father and in the end, hopelessly
becoming him?'
'Who do I think I am?'
"Shinji? Can I come in?"
His thoughts were interrupted by Misato outside his door. She opened it with a compassionate but
confused look on her face.
"Is something wrong?"
...
She walked up to the bed and sat beside him. Trying to gather the words to say with his slumped
shoulders and his drooped face looking at the floor, Shinji lost control.
"What's wrong with life, Misato?"
Misato was startled.
"What do you mean?"
Shinji looked awful. His facial features were consumed with anguish. Misato's first impulse was
to put an arm around Shinji's shoulder, but she didn't. She knew that Shinji didn't receive
compassion that way; he received it by positive words. She remembered how happy Shinji was when
his father complemented him after one of the battles, and how upset he was after his father hung
up on him. Apparently, Asuka didn't help either...But that's not the point right now.
"Forgive me Misato, please; I-I just need some time alone."
Misato wanted to find out more, but decided it might be detrimental to the third child. She got
up, made her way to the door, and when she opened it, she was surprised to find Asuka outside.
Misato had a stern look on her face as she closed the door. Shinji could hear the faint
conversation in the background.
"Were you eavesdropping, Asuka?"
"No, of course not! There wasn't even much said anyway..."
Asuka gulped on her words.
"So you were eavesdropping."
Asuka decided to turn to the defensive.
"Are you stupid?! I said I wasn't! There's no reason to! You two are so boring anyway!"
The two were walking into the kitchen and thus becoming harder and harder to hear.
"Does it occur to you that there's a person in there, Asuka?"
Asuka's response was inaudible.
Those words from Misato would remain with Shinji for a long time.
"Stand up! Bow! Sit Down!"
Another day at school, another one of my precious, limited days wasted by listening to rants and
raves about second impact, Shinji thought. He surveyed the room. Most people were here today,
seated at wooden desks, expressing their own version of boredom, based on their personality.
Shinji noticed that Rei's desk was empty. His eyes narrowed and his lip curled.
"Probably with father..."
"What?"
Shinji was unaware that he said anything out aloud.
"Never-mind. How are you Kensuke?"
"I'm okay, but I hear Toji's pretty love-struck right now..."
Shinji looked at Toji, who was staring at Hikari from across the room.
It was old news that Toji and Hikari had a mutual crush on each other. They both handled it the
same way. They avoided each other. Only glances in each other's direction told the other that
they were still interested. Kensuke began to snicker. Shinji felt like he was being elbowed in
the ribs. He was. It was Kensuke.
"Aida and Ikari, pay attention!"
Kensuke was afraid.
"Y-yes class rep..."
Hikari eyed Shinji, but he was too tired to notice. He looked too tired for anything in fact.
The progressed slowly, and after what seemed like an eternity the children were allowed to
escape. Shinji was in no hurry. He was depressed. The only girl he had feelings for, didn't
return them. Rei loved his father more than him. Nothing was more hurtful than the truth, and to
Shinji, this was the truth right now.
"What are you just sitting there for, you idiot! It's time to go!"
'I hate it when she does these kind of things...Maybe if I look hurt, she'll leave me alone.'
Shinji looked up from the table with a synthetic hurt look. Even if Asuka could see through it,
it wouldn't have changed her mind on what to do next.
"You're so weak, you little fool!"
She physically removed Shinji from his seat, al the while he slipped and landed on his butt.
"Owwwwwww Asuka..."
"You better think twice before you mess with me again, dummkopf."
Asuka stomped out of the room.
'I might as well go home now anyway.'
Shinji picked himself off the floor.
'Maybe I should just go home...'
"Oh, hello Ritsuko!"
Shinji was surprised to see Ritsuko at his home at this hour. Se was sitting in the living room
in front of the T.V., which was turned off. She usually lived at work, as far as Shinji was
concerned. Ritsuko spoke with her deep, serene voice.
"Hello, Shinji."
"Why'd you stop by?"
"Oh, you're just like Misato. Thinking doctors are robots that don't need friends. By the way,
how long has it been since you cleaned up this dump?"
"Ah, excuse me Ritsuko!" Misato walked in from the kitchen with two coffees in her hands.
"This place isn't a dump, and anyway, a little mess adds character to anything, right Shinji?."
Misato did her warm smile, which made Shinji happy.
"That's always been your philosophy, hasn't it Misato. You can tell by your desk at work and
your kitchen table at home." Ritsuko interrupted.
Shinji didn't like social occasions such as this, especially since when Ritsuko was around, the
jokes were at Misato's expense.
"I-in answer to your question, Ritsuko, it's been about four days now... and... I think I'll
just... leave now..." Shinji murmured self-consciously.
"Don't you want a cup of coffee Shinji?" Misato smiled, even if she was slightly annoyed at
Ritsuko.
"No thanks." He escaped as fast as he could.
"Just like Asuka..." Ritsuko mused.
About half an hour later, Shinji emerged from his room heartened, after listening to his SDAT.
"Oh, Ritsuko."
Ritsuko was still here.
"Yes Shinji?"
She had an interested, questioning look on her face, but as soon as it was there, it was gone.
"Where was Ayanami today? She wasn't at school..."
Her eyes flinched.
"She's was at NERV."
She gave Shinji a look that forbade further questioning - and he couldn't be bothered asking any
more questions anyway.
...
"Well, Misato I'll just go for a walk..."
Shinji was just about to leave the apartment when he saw that cheecky look on Misato's face.
"Where?" She asked slowly.
Ritsuko nearly chocked on what was remaining of her third coffee. Shinji turned a slight red.
"N-nowhere... Bye Ritsuko..."
Shinji slipped out of the apartment.
"I wonder where he's going?" Thought Ritsuko out aloud.
The air was crisp and dry, the kind that makes you thirsty just to breathe it. It was getting
dark, but Shinji didn't care. All the neon lights on all the buildings lit everything up anyway.
It was quite beautiful. Shinji began absent-mindedly walking towards Rei's house. Once he
realised where he was going though, he was already there. Shinji looked to his right. The buzzer
was broken, so he knocked. There was no response. He slowly opened the dirty door.
- Quick Flashback -
Toji: You can't just enter a girl's house uninvited!"
Shinji: "But we have no choice..."
- Back to Reality -
'She knows me anyway I guess, so she shouldn't mind.'
Shinji took off his shoes and headed to her 'bedroom.' The house was still in complete disarray.
It was awful.
'How can she live in such a place?'
...
"Hello? Is anybody home?" He called out.
No answer.
There is no use in just hanging around in somebody's flat uninvited...so he left. The last thing
he noticed before he left was that the glasses were no longer on the table.
When Shinji arrived home, Ritsuko was gone.
"Shinji! You're home just in time to cook dinner!"
He tried to smile and failed. As much as he tried, Shinji could not look or, more importantly,
feel happy.
'I'll talk to him later.' Misato resolved.
Misato helped Shinji prepare dinner. When prepared, the two chefs moved the small plates over to
the table. Not much was said during dinner, and when finished, Shinji went straight to his room.
After a minute, Misato followed.
Misato walked over to the bed where Shinji was sitting on and sat beside him.
"What's wrong, Shinji?"
Shinji loved Misato, but he found it difficult to relate.
"M-Misato, all my life, I could shut off from other people, so I did. I could protect myself
from being hurt...b-but a side effect from that is finding it hard to talk to other people
personally when I need to...I-I can't open up...because I shut myself off..."
"I'm here for you sweetie." She gave him a reassuring smile. Shinji's spirits were lifted.
"Can I trust you, Misato?"
"Of course you ca-"
Shinji thought clearly for a moment.
"No I can't. Anything and everything I tell you you'll write in that little black book of yours
for NERV."
Misato was stunned.
"Or did you think I didn't know about that Misato?"
Misato thought for a while.
"Okay Shinji, whatever you say I'll keep just between us."
"Thankyou... Y-...Y-.."
Shinji was struggling to get the words out, for fear of being rejected.
"You won't laugh at me?"
"No..."
Misato brought her face lower to Shinji's level.
"You know Kaji..."
"Yeah."
"Do you still like him? E-even just a little?"
...
"Confidentiality is mutual you understand."
"Of course Misato, I wouldn't ask you to do something that I wouldn't do for you in return."
Misato laid back and let out a sigh.
"Kaji, Kaji, Kaji... The man of my dreams, yet of my worst nightmares."
"W-what do you mean?"
"Well, he's the man of my dreams because...he's kind, gentle...faithful, I know he'd be faithful
to me."
"Then what's the problem?"
...
"You remember what I told you about my father..."
"Yeah..."
"Well you know how eight years ago Kaji and I were together."
"No... You've never talked about him before now."
"Well I met him at college. Same with Ritsuko. I thought he was the perfect man for me; and he
was...but..."
"But...what?"
...
Misato looked at him seriously.
"I panicked... Hey, this was supposed to be about you!"
Shinji looked down.
"I-I just thought it would be a good metaphor to help me explain my problem to you, Misato, if
you told me yours first. I'm sorry..."
Misato thought for a second, and then made the link. She looked into his eyes until he looked
back, a little smile emerging on her face.
"This is about a girl, isn't it?"
Shinji turned a slight red.
Misato pried a little further, bringing her face a little closer to his.
"So that's why you were upset..."
A little closer.
"Who is it? The girl, I mean."
...
"R-Rei."
Misato sat back, and tried to contain a laugh.
"Rei... You can't be serious!" smirk smirk
Shinji was hurt. Bad.
Shinji moved away from her.
"I knew you would... I just knew you would... I should never have opened myself to you..."
She put a hand on his shoulder. Shinji flinched.
"Hey calm down, I'm sorry okay?"
This didn't fix the problem entirely.
"It's just... well, you know... Rei is just... How do I explain this?"
...
"Shinji, I know that she is a very attractive girl too, but relationships based on the physical
never work.-"
Shinji cut her off.
"I know that Misato, it's not physical, really..."
"Well I don't understand how it could be anything other than physical."
"What do you mean Misato?"
"As much as you say she doesn't, she doesn't talk to anyone, Shinji. It can't be emotional
because... you don't know her."
"But what about when you first met Kaji Misato? What did you feel then?"
...
"See! It's that feeling. It's just there."
...
Misato and Shinji sat there for a little while longer, not talking, but thinking about what had
just been said between the two, now in the quiet.
...
"Misato?"
"Hmm?"
"Are you lonely too?"
"...Yes...I am..."
Misato got up, and went to the door and opened it.
"Goodnight, Shinji."
"Uh, goodnight."
She then went out and closed the door.
Shinji laid back on his bed and let out a well-earned sigh.
It was nice in the quiet and the dark, time to reflect upon what has happened, time to worry
about what might happen.
'Oh well, at least tomorrow I'll be able to talk to her.'
Shinji was awoken by a kind of shrill shriek coming from the kitchen. He knew who it was from,
and he was not looking forward to 'synthetic family relations' this morning. It was Asuka.
"Shinji! It's your turn to cook breakfast!!"
...
"Get out here you dork!!!"
'I'm coming!" He screamed.
Shinji realised he had slept all night without the covers on. He removed himself from his bed and
went to the kitchen to heat up some rice.
"It's about time you got up, you idiot."
Shinji rubbed his head.
'Orrrr what time is it?"
Asuka looked at her NERV watch.
"Crap! It's 7:30! You better hurry...or else!"
When school arrived (or when Shinji and Asuka arrived at school) they were late. Hikari knew
this was her job.
"Why are you two late?" she squealed.
"Give the newlyweds a break, class rep. They just need some time together."
Asuka went red.
slap
"I'd...I'd never! How dare you!"
Asuka stomped to her seat, sat down and remained silent for a little while longer. That was just
what Shinji needed. He caught a glance at Rei.
Rei zipped her head back to looking forward. Shinji only got an instant to think about what
happened.
'Was Rei just looking at me?"
"Shhhhhhh class! Be quiet I said! Sensei is here!"
Shinji chuckled.
'I wonder if Hikari would make a good mother?'
The class suddenly became silent as the teacher droned on about Second impact. But it wasn't an
attentive silence; it was a dreary bored silence. A kind of silence that seems to go on forever.
When lunch time was announced, Kensuke and Shinji noticed the look of excitement on Touji's face.
"Oh buy, it's lunch time! My most favourite part of the whole school day!"
'Where has Rei gone?'
Shinji too a look around the class room, but Rei was not to be found.
'Maybe I'll look outside.'
When he got to the yard outside, many little droplets of water were dropping from the sky. The
ground was drenched. The fog was quite thick therefore making it hard to see any distance of
worth.
Shinji took a deep breath and went back inside.
'Was she looking at me, or not?'
As Shinji was running through the levels of the school building he was wondering this, franticly
looking for a girl with red eyes and blue-grey hair.
After many flights of stairs Shinji arrived at the top level of the School building. 'Sigh, the
top level. If she's not here then she's not anywhere.'
This time he didn't run, he walked. As he walked down the hall, Shinij took a left into one of
the empty classrooms. He saw a young girl with blue grey hair sitting with her back to the wall
and her face buried in her knees. She was crying.
A frightened girl snapped her head up to view the intruder, tears streaming down her face. She
jumped up and shot past the third child almost faster that his eyes could follow her.
"REI! WAIT! COME BACK!"
Shinji ran as far as he could to trail Rei, but she had incredible fitness. He saw a crowd
gathering at the back of the hallway on the bottom level. Just as Shinji had to stop to catch a
breath, a familiar face stood out from the crowd watching him.
"Oh damn."
First confusion was on her face, then a teasing look. It was Asuka.
"What did you do to wondergirl, dummkopf?"
Shinji was so exhausted all he could do was pant.
"Answer me simpleton!"
There was a general approval from the crowd observing.
"Yeah, what didja do?"
"Yeah, tell us."
"Who do you think you are?"
Shinji was racked with fear.
"I didn't do anything, I-"
Everyone was waiting for his answer.
"Answer us!"
"Yeah, what's your problem?"
Shinji then saw a little gap in the crowd.
Shinji had to escape. All he could do was run through it. Shinji ran. He ran until he couldn't
run any further. He didn't care which direction, or to which destination. He stopped at the
train station, close to Rei's house. When Shinji caught his breath back, he had some choices to
make.
'I'm really close to her house, should I go there?'
'I think she's had enough for today.'
'But I really need to talk to her!'
...
'I'll give it a shot, can I really stuff up this situation any further anyway?'
As the third child walked closer to Rei's house, a feeling of apprehension came over him.
'Should I?'
There was no turning back for Shinji as he knocked on Rei Ayanami's Door for the fourth time in
his life.
- End of Chapter one -
Author's notes:
How long has it been, four months? I did the usual thing I do which is start something, but never
finish it. This time, now however I am determined to finish this story. Thanks to Gerald for
getting me off my butt to start writing again. Sorry to keep everyone who enjoyed the first
chapter waiting.
If you have any ideas for the series please don't hesitate to email me with your ideas! Bye.
-Aal
- Chapter Two - There's Still Hope
- - By Aal
- - My e-mail is aal@evangelion.com
The door slamming awoke Misato from her daydreaming. Even though it was cold outside, the
apartment was warm and cosy. It was a mess, since Shinji hadn't cleaned it in three days.
"Oh, it's you, Shinji. You were out for a while."
Misato was sitting at the kitchen table. Shinji did not feel well at all. Physically and
emotionally, he was a wreck. Even though Shinji hated being ignored, and hated the way his father
behaved, he had to go to his lovely suite, and ignore Misato in the process, even if it was just
for a moment.
Just before he arrived at his door, somebody else was exiting their's.
"You idiot, where have you been?!"
Shinji limped slowly past her.
"Don't ignore me! Answer me!"
He could barely get it out.
"L-leave me alone, Asuka..."
Shinji opened his door and slipped in.
...
'Good...she didn't follow me...'
Shinji slumped against the wall on his bed, letting his mind flood with questions.
'Am I really like my father?'
'Am I really that pathetic? Standing up for NOT being like my father and in the end, hopelessly
becoming him?'
'Who do I think I am?'
"Shinji? Can I come in?"
His thoughts were interrupted by Misato outside his door. She opened it with a compassionate but
confused look on her face.
"Is something wrong?"
...
She walked up to the bed and sat beside him. Trying to gather the words to say with his slumped
shoulders and his drooped face looking at the floor, Shinji lost control.
"What's wrong with life, Misato?"
Misato was startled.
"What do you mean?"
Shinji looked awful. His facial features were consumed with anguish. Misato's first impulse was
to put an arm around Shinji's shoulder, but she didn't. She knew that Shinji didn't receive
compassion that way; he received it by positive words. She remembered how happy Shinji was when
his father complemented him after one of the battles, and how upset he was after his father hung
up on him. Apparently, Asuka didn't help either...But that's not the point right now.
"Forgive me Misato, please; I-I just need some time alone."
Misato wanted to find out more, but decided it might be detrimental to the third child. She got
up, made her way to the door, and when she opened it, she was surprised to find Asuka outside.
Misato had a stern look on her face as she closed the door. Shinji could hear the faint
conversation in the background.
"Were you eavesdropping, Asuka?"
"No, of course not! There wasn't even much said anyway..."
Asuka gulped on her words.
"So you were eavesdropping."
Asuka decided to turn to the defensive.
"Are you stupid?! I said I wasn't! There's no reason to! You two are so boring anyway!"
The two were walking into the kitchen and thus becoming harder and harder to hear.
"Does it occur to you that there's a person in there, Asuka?"
Asuka's response was inaudible.
Those words from Misato would remain with Shinji for a long time.
"Stand up! Bow! Sit Down!"
Another day at school, another one of my precious, limited days wasted by listening to rants and
raves about second impact, Shinji thought. He surveyed the room. Most people were here today,
seated at wooden desks, expressing their own version of boredom, based on their personality.
Shinji noticed that Rei's desk was empty. His eyes narrowed and his lip curled.
"Probably with father..."
"What?"
Shinji was unaware that he said anything out aloud.
"Never-mind. How are you Kensuke?"
"I'm okay, but I hear Toji's pretty love-struck right now..."
Shinji looked at Toji, who was staring at Hikari from across the room.
It was old news that Toji and Hikari had a mutual crush on each other. They both handled it the
same way. They avoided each other. Only glances in each other's direction told the other that
they were still interested. Kensuke began to snicker. Shinji felt like he was being elbowed in
the ribs. He was. It was Kensuke.
"Aida and Ikari, pay attention!"
Kensuke was afraid.
"Y-yes class rep..."
Hikari eyed Shinji, but he was too tired to notice. He looked too tired for anything in fact.
The progressed slowly, and after what seemed like an eternity the children were allowed to
escape. Shinji was in no hurry. He was depressed. The only girl he had feelings for, didn't
return them. Rei loved his father more than him. Nothing was more hurtful than the truth, and to
Shinji, this was the truth right now.
"What are you just sitting there for, you idiot! It's time to go!"
'I hate it when she does these kind of things...Maybe if I look hurt, she'll leave me alone.'
Shinji looked up from the table with a synthetic hurt look. Even if Asuka could see through it,
it wouldn't have changed her mind on what to do next.
"You're so weak, you little fool!"
She physically removed Shinji from his seat, al the while he slipped and landed on his butt.
"Owwwwwww Asuka..."
"You better think twice before you mess with me again, dummkopf."
Asuka stomped out of the room.
'I might as well go home now anyway.'
Shinji picked himself off the floor.
'Maybe I should just go home...'
"Oh, hello Ritsuko!"
Shinji was surprised to see Ritsuko at his home at this hour. Se was sitting in the living room
in front of the T.V., which was turned off. She usually lived at work, as far as Shinji was
concerned. Ritsuko spoke with her deep, serene voice.
"Hello, Shinji."
"Why'd you stop by?"
"Oh, you're just like Misato. Thinking doctors are robots that don't need friends. By the way,
how long has it been since you cleaned up this dump?"
"Ah, excuse me Ritsuko!" Misato walked in from the kitchen with two coffees in her hands.
"This place isn't a dump, and anyway, a little mess adds character to anything, right Shinji?."
Misato did her warm smile, which made Shinji happy.
"That's always been your philosophy, hasn't it Misato. You can tell by your desk at work and
your kitchen table at home." Ritsuko interrupted.
Shinji didn't like social occasions such as this, especially since when Ritsuko was around, the
jokes were at Misato's expense.
"I-in answer to your question, Ritsuko, it's been about four days now... and... I think I'll
just... leave now..." Shinji murmured self-consciously.
"Don't you want a cup of coffee Shinji?" Misato smiled, even if she was slightly annoyed at
Ritsuko.
"No thanks." He escaped as fast as he could.
"Just like Asuka..." Ritsuko mused.
About half an hour later, Shinji emerged from his room heartened, after listening to his SDAT.
"Oh, Ritsuko."
Ritsuko was still here.
"Yes Shinji?"
She had an interested, questioning look on her face, but as soon as it was there, it was gone.
"Where was Ayanami today? She wasn't at school..."
Her eyes flinched.
"She's was at NERV."
She gave Shinji a look that forbade further questioning - and he couldn't be bothered asking any
more questions anyway.
...
"Well, Misato I'll just go for a walk..."
Shinji was just about to leave the apartment when he saw that cheecky look on Misato's face.
"Where?" She asked slowly.
Ritsuko nearly chocked on what was remaining of her third coffee. Shinji turned a slight red.
"N-nowhere... Bye Ritsuko..."
Shinji slipped out of the apartment.
"I wonder where he's going?" Thought Ritsuko out aloud.
The air was crisp and dry, the kind that makes you thirsty just to breathe it. It was getting
dark, but Shinji didn't care. All the neon lights on all the buildings lit everything up anyway.
It was quite beautiful. Shinji began absent-mindedly walking towards Rei's house. Once he
realised where he was going though, he was already there. Shinji looked to his right. The buzzer
was broken, so he knocked. There was no response. He slowly opened the dirty door.
- Quick Flashback -
Toji: You can't just enter a girl's house uninvited!"
Shinji: "But we have no choice..."
- Back to Reality -
'She knows me anyway I guess, so she shouldn't mind.'
Shinji took off his shoes and headed to her 'bedroom.' The house was still in complete disarray.
It was awful.
'How can she live in such a place?'
...
"Hello? Is anybody home?" He called out.
No answer.
There is no use in just hanging around in somebody's flat uninvited...so he left. The last thing
he noticed before he left was that the glasses were no longer on the table.
When Shinji arrived home, Ritsuko was gone.
"Shinji! You're home just in time to cook dinner!"
He tried to smile and failed. As much as he tried, Shinji could not look or, more importantly,
feel happy.
'I'll talk to him later.' Misato resolved.
Misato helped Shinji prepare dinner. When prepared, the two chefs moved the small plates over to
the table. Not much was said during dinner, and when finished, Shinji went straight to his room.
After a minute, Misato followed.
Misato walked over to the bed where Shinji was sitting on and sat beside him.
"What's wrong, Shinji?"
Shinji loved Misato, but he found it difficult to relate.
"M-Misato, all my life, I could shut off from other people, so I did. I could protect myself
from being hurt...b-but a side effect from that is finding it hard to talk to other people
personally when I need to...I-I can't open up...because I shut myself off..."
"I'm here for you sweetie." She gave him a reassuring smile. Shinji's spirits were lifted.
"Can I trust you, Misato?"
"Of course you ca-"
Shinji thought clearly for a moment.
"No I can't. Anything and everything I tell you you'll write in that little black book of yours
for NERV."
Misato was stunned.
"Or did you think I didn't know about that Misato?"
Misato thought for a while.
"Okay Shinji, whatever you say I'll keep just between us."
"Thankyou... Y-...Y-.."
Shinji was struggling to get the words out, for fear of being rejected.
"You won't laugh at me?"
"No..."
Misato brought her face lower to Shinji's level.
"You know Kaji..."
"Yeah."
"Do you still like him? E-even just a little?"
...
"Confidentiality is mutual you understand."
"Of course Misato, I wouldn't ask you to do something that I wouldn't do for you in return."
Misato laid back and let out a sigh.
"Kaji, Kaji, Kaji... The man of my dreams, yet of my worst nightmares."
"W-what do you mean?"
"Well, he's the man of my dreams because...he's kind, gentle...faithful, I know he'd be faithful
to me."
"Then what's the problem?"
...
"You remember what I told you about my father..."
"Yeah..."
"Well you know how eight years ago Kaji and I were together."
"No... You've never talked about him before now."
"Well I met him at college. Same with Ritsuko. I thought he was the perfect man for me; and he
was...but..."
"But...what?"
...
Misato looked at him seriously.
"I panicked... Hey, this was supposed to be about you!"
Shinji looked down.
"I-I just thought it would be a good metaphor to help me explain my problem to you, Misato, if
you told me yours first. I'm sorry..."
Misato thought for a second, and then made the link. She looked into his eyes until he looked
back, a little smile emerging on her face.
"This is about a girl, isn't it?"
Shinji turned a slight red.
Misato pried a little further, bringing her face a little closer to his.
"So that's why you were upset..."
A little closer.
"Who is it? The girl, I mean."
...
"R-Rei."
Misato sat back, and tried to contain a laugh.
"Rei... You can't be serious!" smirk smirk
Shinji was hurt. Bad.
Shinji moved away from her.
"I knew you would... I just knew you would... I should never have opened myself to you..."
She put a hand on his shoulder. Shinji flinched.
"Hey calm down, I'm sorry okay?"
This didn't fix the problem entirely.
"It's just... well, you know... Rei is just... How do I explain this?"
...
"Shinji, I know that she is a very attractive girl too, but relationships based on the physical
never work.-"
Shinji cut her off.
"I know that Misato, it's not physical, really..."
"Well I don't understand how it could be anything other than physical."
"What do you mean Misato?"
"As much as you say she doesn't, she doesn't talk to anyone, Shinji. It can't be emotional
because... you don't know her."
"But what about when you first met Kaji Misato? What did you feel then?"
...
"See! It's that feeling. It's just there."
...
Misato and Shinji sat there for a little while longer, not talking, but thinking about what had
just been said between the two, now in the quiet.
...
"Misato?"
"Hmm?"
"Are you lonely too?"
"...Yes...I am..."
Misato got up, and went to the door and opened it.
"Goodnight, Shinji."
"Uh, goodnight."
She then went out and closed the door.
Shinji laid back on his bed and let out a well-earned sigh.
It was nice in the quiet and the dark, time to reflect upon what has happened, time to worry
about what might happen.
'Oh well, at least tomorrow I'll be able to talk to her.'
Shinji was awoken by a kind of shrill shriek coming from the kitchen. He knew who it was from,
and he was not looking forward to 'synthetic family relations' this morning. It was Asuka.
"Shinji! It's your turn to cook breakfast!!"
...
"Get out here you dork!!!"
'I'm coming!" He screamed.
Shinji realised he had slept all night without the covers on. He removed himself from his bed and
went to the kitchen to heat up some rice.
"It's about time you got up, you idiot."
Shinji rubbed his head.
'Orrrr what time is it?"
Asuka looked at her NERV watch.
"Crap! It's 7:30! You better hurry...or else!"
When school arrived (or when Shinji and Asuka arrived at school) they were late. Hikari knew
this was her job.
"Why are you two late?" she squealed.
"Give the newlyweds a break, class rep. They just need some time together."
Asuka went red.
slap
"I'd...I'd never! How dare you!"
Asuka stomped to her seat, sat down and remained silent for a little while longer. That was just
what Shinji needed. He caught a glance at Rei.
Rei zipped her head back to looking forward. Shinji only got an instant to think about what
happened.
'Was Rei just looking at me?"
"Shhhhhhh class! Be quiet I said! Sensei is here!"
Shinji chuckled.
'I wonder if Hikari would make a good mother?'
The class suddenly became silent as the teacher droned on about Second impact. But it wasn't an
attentive silence; it was a dreary bored silence. A kind of silence that seems to go on forever.
When lunch time was announced, Kensuke and Shinji noticed the look of excitement on Touji's face.
"Oh buy, it's lunch time! My most favourite part of the whole school day!"
'Where has Rei gone?'
Shinji too a look around the class room, but Rei was not to be found.
'Maybe I'll look outside.'
When he got to the yard outside, many little droplets of water were dropping from the sky. The
ground was drenched. The fog was quite thick therefore making it hard to see any distance of
worth.
Shinji took a deep breath and went back inside.
'Was she looking at me, or not?'
As Shinji was running through the levels of the school building he was wondering this, franticly
looking for a girl with red eyes and blue-grey hair.
After many flights of stairs Shinji arrived at the top level of the School building. 'Sigh, the
top level. If she's not here then she's not anywhere.'
This time he didn't run, he walked. As he walked down the hall, Shinij took a left into one of
the empty classrooms. He saw a young girl with blue grey hair sitting with her back to the wall
and her face buried in her knees. She was crying.
A frightened girl snapped her head up to view the intruder, tears streaming down her face. She
jumped up and shot past the third child almost faster that his eyes could follow her.
"REI! WAIT! COME BACK!"
Shinji ran as far as he could to trail Rei, but she had incredible fitness. He saw a crowd
gathering at the back of the hallway on the bottom level. Just as Shinji had to stop to catch a
breath, a familiar face stood out from the crowd watching him.
"Oh damn."
First confusion was on her face, then a teasing look. It was Asuka.
"What did you do to wondergirl, dummkopf?"
Shinji was so exhausted all he could do was pant.
"Answer me simpleton!"
There was a general approval from the crowd observing.
"Yeah, what didja do?"
"Yeah, tell us."
"Who do you think you are?"
Shinji was racked with fear.
"I didn't do anything, I-"
Everyone was waiting for his answer.
"Answer us!"
"Yeah, what's your problem?"
Shinji then saw a little gap in the crowd.
Shinji had to escape. All he could do was run through it. Shinji ran. He ran until he couldn't
run any further. He didn't care which direction, or to which destination. He stopped at the
train station, close to Rei's house. When Shinji caught his breath back, he had some choices to
make.
'I'm really close to her house, should I go there?'
'I think she's had enough for today.'
'But I really need to talk to her!'
...
'I'll give it a shot, can I really stuff up this situation any further anyway?'
As the third child walked closer to Rei's house, a feeling of apprehension came over him.
'Should I?'
There was no turning back for Shinji as he knocked on Rei Ayanami's Door for the fourth time in
his life.
- End of Chapter one -
Author's notes:
How long has it been, four months? I did the usual thing I do which is start something, but never
finish it. This time, now however I am determined to finish this story. Thanks to Gerald for
getting me off my butt to start writing again. Sorry to keep everyone who enjoyed the first
chapter waiting.
If you have any ideas for the series please don't hesitate to email me with your ideas! Bye.
-Aal