MASTER ROSHI'S BIRTHDAY!
By the We Love the Super Saiyans' Sons Fan Club: Especially Trunks and Gohan - W.L.S.S.S.F.C.E.T.G. - Heather and Natasha (us) are the only members. We'd like to say that this takes place before Pan was born. She never existed. Now that that has been cleared up, on with the story…
Everyone got in Bulma's transport…thing. When I say everyone, I mean everyone. Except the bad guys; they weren't there. Anyway…there was Krillin, 18, Marron, Goku, Godu (Goku's evil twin from another dimension), Chi-chi, Bulma, Trunks, Future Trunks, Goten, Gohan, Videl (evil psycho…), Vegeta, Yamcha, Piccolo, Tien, Chautzo, Natasha, and Heather. (The last two are us.). They were going to a karaoke bar/club to celebrate Master Roshi's…um…birthday. Everyone had stopped counting how old he was, because, face it, he was just too old. Anyway, they were all going to the karaoke bar, and Yamcha was hitting on Bulma, as usual. Vegeta wasn't happy about it. By the time they reached the Karaoke bar, Yamcha had a black eye and a bloody nose. He was also limping. Gohan was trying to hide from his annoying wife Videl, but not having much luck. "Get away from me!" he screamed. Videl, being the idiotic brat she was, didn't get the drift. Gohan rolled his eyes. "I need a beer." He muttered.
Piccolo had brought a bag with him, but nobody was sure about what was inside. Piccolo (who was quite…wasted) strolled over to the punch bowl (the only non-alcoholic drink found in the club), reached into the bag, and pulled out a black water bottle. He unscrewed the top, and poured all of the contents in. He mixed the bowl up, and walked back to his friends. "What did you do, Piccolo?" asked Goku. "I was, uh (*cough*) just making sure it was fresh." Piccolo replied. "Oh, that's so sweet!" screeched Chi-chi. "Uh, yeah." Piccolo got as far away from Goku's wife as possible. Unfortunately, this meant that he had to stand by Videl.
They all, uh, sat down somewhere, and everyone had a couple drinks (Piccolo had MORE than a couple, if you know what I mean), and Tien and Chiautzo didn't have any. They were the designated drivers, and they felt very special. After seeing what was going on - Piccolo was pretending he was Spiderman "My Spider sense is tingling!" he yelled, more than once, and the two Trunks' were arguing over who was the better Trunks. (A/N: From this point on, Future Trunks will be known as Trunks1, and the, uh, regular Trunks will be Trunks 2. Right then. Moving on…) Trunks 2 and Goten went over to the punch, because they were underage and couldn't drink the "stuff" everyone else was drinking. They took the whole bowl, and standing together, gulped the whole thing down. They put the bowl back, and within seconds, it was refilled. Piccolo staggered over, took out another water bottle (blue this time), poured the contents in, mixed it up, and staggered back to his seat. Trunks 2 and Goten gulped this one down, and got extremely…hyper. They were literally bouncing off the walls. Trunks1 and Vegeta, thinking that they were seeing things, each drank another beer. Gohan found this hilariously funny. (Why, I don't know. But he did).
Bulma, Chi-chi, and Videl sprang up, and ran over to the stage. They got up there, grabbed the microphones, and began singing Destiny's Child's "Bootylicious". They all started together "Chi-Chi, Can you handle this? Videl, Can you handle this? Bulma, Can you handle this? I don't think they can handle this!" They sang for a while, and towards the middle of the song, they turned towards their husbands, and sang, "Goku, can you handle this? Gohan, can you handle this? Vegeta, can you handle this? I don't think you can handle this" Yamcha, who was drooling, again, looked a little disappointed that Bulma had said Vegeta instead of Yamcha. Vegeta turned and smirked at him. Yamcha's response was to throw an empty beer bottle at him. He let go of it to early, and it flew backwards and hit Yamcha on the head, giving him a nasty bruise in the shape of a beer bottle. The three women finished up singing, "'Cause my body too Bootylicious for ya babe!" They got off the stage, and Godu (Goku's evil twin from another dimension) went up there. "I want to sing a very important song." He paused, then started singing. "The sun will come out, tomorrow!" he was a very bad singer, and fell off the stage during a spin, cutting short the torture of him singing.
Heather, Natasha, and Bulma grabbed Yamcha and dragged him up there. Bulma grabbed a chair and they tied Yamcha to it. The DJ (who had been sleeping and had missed all the shows before this, which is why he was never mentioned), was woke up by Natasha slapping him in the face. "WAKE… UP… YOU… LAZY…" she never got to finish, because, well, he woke up. "I want you to play 'I'll make a man out of you'." She yelled, choking him. DJ Fred (his name is Fred. Do you have a problem with that? No? Good.) nodded, and quickly put the song on. The girls circled Yamcha screaming the song at the top of their lungs. "Let's get down to business/to help you get a life/ Did they send us a wimp/ when we asked/ for a man?/ You're the saddest guy/ we've ever seen/ but you can bet/ before we're through/ Yamcha we'll make a man/ out of you!/Tranquil as the forest/ But on fire/ within./ Once you find s girlfriend/ you are sure/ to win!/ You're a spineless snail/ pathetic dude/ and you haven't got a clue/ Somehow we'll/ make a man/ out of you!/ (Yamcha:) I'm never gonna catch my breath/ say goodbye to those who knew me!/ Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym!/ These girls got me scared to death/ Hope Vegeta doesn't see me/ Now I really wish that I had a life!/ (the girls:) BE A MAN!/ You must be swift as a coursing river/BE A MAN/ with all the strength of a great fighter/BE A MAN/ with all the force of a Kamehameha/ mysterious as the dark side of the moon!/ Time is racing towards us/ until the day/ you die./ Heed our every order/ and you might SURVIVE!/ You're unsuited for/ the rage of courtship/ so pack up, go home/ you loser/ How could we/ think that we/ could make a man out of you?/ BE A MAN/ You must be swift as a coursing river/BE A MAN/ with all the force of a Kamehameha/ BE A MAN/ with all the strength of a great fighter / mysterious as the dark side of the moon!/ You're a wimp!/ You must be swift as a coursing river/ you're a wimp!/ with all the strength of a great fighter/ you're a wimp!/ with all the force of a Kamehameha/ mysterious as the dark side of the moon! Bulma: Like Vegeta! Natasha: Like Gohan! Heather: Like Trunks!" They bowed, and threw Yamcha (still tied to the chair) off the stage. Heather and Natasha flew off the stage, and Bulma jumped into Vegeta's arms, and Yamcha cried. Videl (being the idiot she was) decided that she would sing a solo. She selected Meredith Brook's "Bitch". She reached the refrain… "I'm a bitch…" Gohan, Natasha, Goku, Chichi, Vegeta, Trunks (1 & 2), Goten, Piccolo, and Heather all interrupted her. "You got that right!" They screamed. Videl ran off crying. Yamcha (still tied to the chair - no one had bothered untying him) crawled after her. He was the only one who really cared that she was gone. Piccolo decided that those two leaving was a reason to celebrate, so he made a toast. Raising up a keg of beer, he said, "I (*hic*) like to propose a toast (*hic*). Thank God they're gone!" With that, he popped a whole in the keg, and chugged the whole thing down. Everybody cheered. 18 grabbed Krillin and dragged him up to the stage. 18 were Mariah Carey fan (Krillin had been forced to listen to endless repeats of her songs, and it didn't help that his own daughter knew all the lyrics by heart). They started singing. "(Chorus) Thank God I found you/ I was lost without you /My every wish and every dream/ Somehow became reality/When you brought the sunlight/ Completed my whole life/ I'm overwhelmed with gratitude/ Cause baby I'm so thankful/ I found you/ (Krillin)I would give you everything /There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do /To ensure your happiness
/I'll cherish every part of you/Because without you beside me I can't survive/I don't wanna try/If you're keeping me warm each and every night/I'll be all right/Cause I need you in my life/Cause baby I'm so thankful/I found you /(18 & Krillin)See I was so desolate/Before you came to me/Looking back I guess it shows /that we were destined to shine
(18)
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude/My baby I'm so thankful I found you
When they finished, Piccolo and Vegeta were sobbing. "That was beautiful!" Piccolo cried. "That was so touching!" yelled Vegeta. Goten and Marron were applauding. Gohan and Natasha hadn't been paying attention - they were making out. Heather was snapping pictures of them, and Goku was staring at them, thinking "Oh my God!" Chi-chi was yelling at Gohan that he couldn't kiss Natasha, he had to go study! She was very drunk, because it ended up sounding like. "You can kiss Natasha, you have too, buddy!" Goten and Trunks 2 drank some more (spiked) punch. Vegeta and Goku, who were both probably as drunk as Piccolo, staggered to the stage, falling over quite a lot. They sang Willa Ford's "I Wanna Be Bad." It was almost enough to sober Piccolo up. Almost - not quite. After they finished, everyone drank even more than before, trying to forget that Vegeta and Goku had sang "I Wanna Be Bad." Chi-chi, however, stood up and cheered. "You know," she said to Bulma, "Vegeta's a fox." Bulma glanced at her. "Yeah, I know. That's why I slept with him. See, Trunks is proof!" Chi-chi cut in. "Yeah, but Goku's sexier. "Uh-uh. Vegeta is!" "Goku!" "Vegeta!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" This went on for the better part of the night.
Hercule staggered into the bar. Trunks 1 (who was drunk - just like everyone else) "accidentally" cut Hercule's head off with his sword; which just appeared out of nowhere, just like in the show. "Oops. Sorry about that." He said, not looking very sorry, and continued walking over to the bar, leaving Hercule's corpse just laying by the door. Godu walked over to Hercule, and sat a beer down next to him. "Here, have a beer." Godu walked off, a ridiculous smile on his face. Videl came back in with Yamcha (she had untied him), and nobody noticed them enter except Gohan. He took a glass, filled it up with water, and dumped it on Videl's head. Gohan ran away laughing hysterically. Master Roshi and Yamcha went up on the stage to sing Sisqo's "Thong Song". They were both really bad singers, so Vegeta threw a beer keg at them, and it knocked them unconscious. Heather and Trunks 1 dragged them off the stage, and they raced onto the stage, fighting over who got to sing. While they were arguing, Gohan strolled up there, grabbed the mike from them, and began singing Backstreet Boys' "I wanna be with you". "I wanna be with you/It's crazy but it's true/ you know it's true/ And everything I do/ Is for you./ I wanna be with you/ It's crazy but it's true/ Oh with you/ Yeah everybody say/ Yeah see you once again/ yeah everybody swing/ Yeah everybody say/ Yeah see once again/ yeah everybody swing." He finished up with a dramatic bow. "Oh Gohan, that was so sweet!" yelled Videl. "It wasn't for you, idiot! It was for Natasha!" He yelled at her. Natasha stuck her tongue out at Videl, and growled. Videl growled back. It came out sounding like a constipated cow. Trunks 2 and Goten stared at her. "Hey Goten. Maybe we can lock her up in a laboratory. That'll get rid of her, and I'm sure that all the scientists would love to study a cow that looks like a person." Goten's face lit up. "YEAH!!!" They began plotting as to how they would kidnap her. "She's to fat for us to lift…" said Goten. "Yeah, even if we turn into Super Saiyans…we could get a professional moving company. If we got the WHOLE company, maybe they could just manage to get her into a cage." Trunks said. But anyway, back to Natasha and Videl. "Grr!" Natasha said. "Mooogrr…" moaned Videl. "Alright you little hussy, lets get this over with." Said Natasha. "Let's take this outside!" Said Videl " Why it'll be over in second, plus I wanna make out with your ex, and oh, by the way," Natasha leaned in closer. "He's a good kisser. But, you probably wouldn't know that." Natasha said, smirking. "Why you little…" Videl said, leaping at her. Natasha dodged it. "Whoa, Bessie. Wow, you're certainly getting to be a fat little cow, aren't ya!?" They walked outside, insulting each other the whole way. Somehow, Videl missed the fact that her father was laying there without a head, but who cares. Right then. On with the show. Trunks 2 and Goten were at the bar, asking the bartender if they could use his phone. "Why?" "Uh…we want to make a phone call?" said Trunks 2. "Yeah. We want to call a mov-" Goten was cut off by Trunks 2 whacking him on the head. "What if he tells someone what we're going to do?" Trunks 2 said. "Good point. We want to, uh, call my uncle. Yeah, that's it!" said Goten. "Alright…" the bartender said reluctantly. He showed them were the phone was. "Uh, Trunks? Do you have any change?" "No, why?" "It's a payphone. We need money to use it." "We could call collect." "Yeah, good idea. Uh, what's the number?" "1-800-COLLECT" "Oh, right." (pause) "Uh, Trunks, what's the number of the moving company?" "I don't know that!" "Then we're screwed." "Dammit." They walked up to Gohan. "Hey, Gohan, do you know the number of a moving company?" asked Goten. "Nope." "Oh, okay." They walked up to Heather. "Do you know the number of a moving company?" asked Trunks. "Nope. Sorry. You know, you should really call one and have them move Videl to like, Timbuktu or something." "Uh, that's what we were going to do." "Dammit. I wanted to do that. Oh well. Good luck." They went to Piccolo. "Wait, Goten, we shouldn't ask him. He's acting really weird." "And he smells!" cut in Goten. "Lets ask my dad." So they walked over to Goku. "Do you know the number of a moving company?" Goku pulled a large phonebook out of his pocket. "Here you go son! And my son's friend! What's your name again?" he asked Trunks. "Uh, I'm the Easter Bunny." Trunks said sarcastically. "REALLY? WOW, it's a pleasure to meet you!" Goku said, enthusiastically shaking Trunks' hand. "…" "We have to go." Goten said, and he dragged Trunks back over to the phone. They found a moving company called "FLUFFY THE EVIL BUNNY RABBIT OVERLORD'S REMOVAL SERVICE - we'll get rid of those annoying fat cows for you!" "Perfect!" said Goten. Trunks made the phone call. "WHADDYA MEAN YOU CAN'T COME TILL TOMORROW? …alright, that's good enough, I guess. The address is…" he gave them Gohan and Videl's address, then hung up the phone. They quickly walked away, gave Goku his phone book back, and drank some more punch.
It didn't take long for Natasha to come back inside. She came in with a big grin on her face she walked over to where Heather, Trunks1, and Gohan were standing. "What happened to Videl?" Asked Trunks1 and Gohan. " I kicked her ass! Duh!" They all began laughing. Videl came stumbling back in. Her once long hair was now cut unevenly and in patches. She had two black eyes and her face was full of claw marks. Her clothes were all torn up. She was limping and could barley talk. No one noticed but Piccolo who said, "Here have a shot of tequila. It'll make ya feel gooooooooood!" he started singing, "I'm feeling so good! I knew that I would!" He was cut off by Videl throwing the tequila in his face and storming off. "Well, that was rude." Piccolo huffed. He licked his face, and continued singing. "Drinking my tequila like I should! Yup, life is good!" He found a lamp, and commenced dancing around the room with a lampshade on his head. "Hey look everybody! I'M A LAMP!!!" he yelled. Nobody really noticed. Heather and Trunks1 were dueling (he was using the sword, and she was using a broken chair leg. It was very sharp and pointy, and it gave you splinters as Master Roshi discovered when he got hit with the, uh, chair leg.) "DIE TRUNKS DIE!" Heather screamed. "NO!" yelled Trunks1 "YES!" Heather screamed. "NO!" "YES!" "NO!" "YES!" "SHUT UP!" "MAKE ME, MONKEY BOY!" "I'M NOT A MONKEY!" "NO, BUT YOUR DAD IS!" Trunks paused. "That's true…" Yamcha tripped Heather over for making him sing. She just happened to land on top of Trunks1. Taking advantage of this situation, Trunks and Heather started making out. Trunks 2's jaw dropped as he watched (in horror) the older HIM all over Heather. Goten laughed hysterically and fell over unconscious because he couldn't breath. "I'll kill you…ummm…minute Yam…mmm…cha!" Yamcha smirked. "Don't bother. I think you're enjoying yourself. Don't stop after just a minute on MY expense." There was no response. "Maybe I can get someone to trip Bulma…" thought Yamcha. He began to tear cause he had no one to make out with, cause at that same time, Vegeta and Bulma where making out. Trunks 2 was looking back and forth between his parents (his parents, for god's sake!!!) and, uh, himself. The first one was scary enough, but add the other, pair, he felt that he would be scarred for life. "Awww come on guys not you too!!" he said when he saw Goten (who was now conscious) and Marron. "The world is out to get me!" he moaned. "Hey Trunks! You're a great kisser!" He turned to see Heather taking a break and waving at him. "Oh my God!" He thought. "That's just wrong!" He walked away, and decided to make faces at Gohan and Natasha. At least she was better than Videl. About five seconds later, THEY were making out too! "MY GOD WHAT IS UP WITH YOU PEOPLE?!" yelled Trunks 2. Piccolo came over singing. "At least HE isn't making out with someone." Thought Trunks 2. "I've been working on the railroad! All the -uh- something day!" he wailed at the top of his lungs. "I need more punch." Said Trunks as he held his head in disappointment. Goku and Chi-Chi were singing the whole damn "Collection of Children's Songs". They had gotten the CD for Videl's birthday (she wasn't the shiniest coin at the bottom of the fountain), but Chi-chi and Goku had liked it so much that they hadn't given it to her. They were currently on "The Farmer in the Dell." Trunks 2, Goten, and Marron pushed Goku and Chi-chi off the stage (even after they fell, they were still singing). They were singing "Hakuna Matata" from the Lion King. Marron: Hakuna matata/ what a wonderful phrase! / Goten: Hakuna matata… ain't no pass-ing craze!/ Marron: It means no worries/ for the rest of you days/ Goten and Marron: It's our problem free philosophy!/ Marron: Hakuna Matata! / Marron and Goten: Hakuna matata…what a wonderful phrase / Hakuna matata…ain't no passin' craze! / Trunks: It means no worries for the rest of your days!!!/ Marron and Trunks: It's our problem free/ Goten: Philosophy!/ Trunks and Marron: Hakuna matata!
They all bowed, and got off the stage, and drank some more punch. "Okay everyone!" yelled Chi-chi, who was finished singing "Yankee Doodle". "Everyone, on stage! NOT YOU MASTER ROSHI! EVERYONE BUT YOU!" Everyone got up there, Bulma and Vegeta were very reluctant, but went up there anyway. Natasha, Gohan, Heather, and Trunks didn't notice. "HELLO?!" yelled Chi-chi. "GET ON THE STAGE!!!" They all went up there, and Videl did the "Mooogrr…" at Natasha, but other than that, nothing happened. "OK! ALL TOGETHER NOW! HAPPY BIRTHDAY…" started Chi-chi. Piccolo was the most enthusiastic singer. "HAPPY BIIIIIIIIIRRRRTHDAY MASTER ROOOOOOOOOSHI……………………..HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOOOOOOU!" he wailed. The bartender brought out the cake and placed it in front of Master Roshi. There were three little letter shaped candles on it: O, L, and D. The cake was very large (10 x 10) and it said "Happy Birthday Master Roshi!" written on it in hot pink. "Oh wow!" exclaimed Roshi. "How did you know that hot pink is my favorite color?" he blew out the candles, and cut the cake. Goku and Vegeta each ate ¼ of the cake, so by the time they were finished, there was almost nothing left. Goten ate 1/8, Gohan ate 1/8, Trunks 1 at 1/8, and Trunks 2 at 1/8. After they had all eaten, there was none left. Vegeta and Yamcha got in an argument. "I'm more of a man than you'll ever be!" yelled Vegeta. "You're not a man! You're a goddamn monkey!" "Oh yeah?" "Yeah!" "Fine, then I challenge you to a drinking contest." Screamed Vegeta. "You're on!" Yamcha responded. "This is my chance to impress Bulma…" thought Yamcha. They sat down at a table, and everyone crowded around them. Everyone took bets on who would win. Trunks (1 and 2), Heather, Natasha, Goku, Goten, and Gohan all betted that Vegeta would win. Bulma didn't even try to guess. Krillin, 18, Piccolo, and Marron all thought that Yamcha would win since he hadn't had much to drink. Piccolo just said that cause he didn't really like Vegeta.
15 minutes later…
Tien and Chiatzu walked in to see everyone watching Vegeta and Yamcha. After finding out what was going on Tien bet on Yamcha and Chiatzu bet that Vegeta would win. Vegeta was staring straight ahead, not seeing anything. "Yo, Vegeta." Goku waved his hand in front of Vegeta's face. Yamcha's head smacked down on the table with a loud THUNK. "No Yamcha! Two more, two more!" yelled Tien. Piccolo started singing "For he's a jolly good fellow!" at the top of his lungs. Vegeta blinked, and saw that Yamcha had passed out. "I WON!" he yelled. Vegeta stood up, cheering. "I won! I won! I…" he fell backwards, unconscious. Bulma dragged Vegeta back to the transport-thing, and Videl tried to drag Yamcha. She was suddenly carried away by a bunch of bunny rabbits who said, "Under the orders of the Evil Bunny Rabbit Overlord, Fluffy, we are moving you to a research facility in Timbuktu." They hopped away, locked Videl in a cage, and loaded her in a truck, and drove away. Trunks 2, Goten, and Heather cheered, and everybody joined in. They were all VERY happy to get rid of Videl. So, Yamcha was dragged onto the transport-thing by Tien. Everybody forgot about Piccolo. They flew away, and Piccolo was kicked out of the bar. He wandered into an alley, and saw a dumpster. "This will make a good bed!" he thought, jumped in, and fell asleep.
Meanwhile…
Master Roshi was sitting in his seat, smiling. "That was fun! Next year, we're going to Disney Land!" he cheered. Everybody stared at him. "Are you nuts?" asked Tien. "There are too many people there!" "Then we'll go when it's closed!" "Okay!"
THE NEXT MORNING…
Piccolo woke up with the worst headache he had ever had. "Why am I in a dumpster?" he asked himself. He pulled himself out, and tried to fly home. Unfortunately, his head hurt so badly he couldn't. He settled for walking.
Gohan opened his eyes. He was under the coffee table next to the couch. He looked at the couch, and saw Natasha sleeping there. "Hey! Videl's not here! Yay!" he tried to get up, forgetting that he was under the coffee table. He hit his head, making the headache he already had even worse. "Ow!" he screamed, which woke up Natasha. "Where the heck am I?" she said, freaking out. "Where's D.C.?" (D.C. is her black flying horse.) She saw Gohan. "Oh hey Gohan. What are you doing here? And…why are you under the…coffee table?" "I'm stuck." Natasha started laughing. She laughed so hard, she fell of the couch. "Ouch." "Do you remember anything from last night?" asked Gohan. "Yeah." "Oh." He paused. "What exactly do you remember?" "Um…Videl being dragged away by bunny rabbits, singing to Yamcha…kicking Videl's ass, everyone yelling at her that she was a bitch, and…oh my god I kissed you." "Yeah, I remember that too." "Let's do it again!" "Okay!"
Goku and Chi-chi were at Wal-Mart, buying all of the bottles of Tylenol headache medicine that Wal-Mart carried, when they ran into Bulma and Vegeta, who were buying all the Advil headache medicine.
Trunks 2, Marron, and Goten were on the roof of Kame house. "Uh, how did we get here?" asked Marron. "I dunno." Said Goten. Trunks 2 was laughing hysterically at them (they apparently didn't remember the night before…he did.) "You…two…" he had to stop talking because he was laughing to hard. "What?" asked Goten. "What did we do?" "Yeah, what did we do?" Marron asked. "You…two…were…oh this is just too funny…" They sat there on the roof, Goten and Marron trying to remember what had happened the night before, and Trunks laughing at them.
Heather and Trunks 1 found themselves still in the transport…thing. "What are we doing in here?!" said Trunks surprised to find himself in the car. "Do you remember anything Heather?" "Um…I remember making out with someone but I don't remember who! I remember singing to Yamcha and…trying to kill you!" She paused for a minute. "Oh my god I made out with YOU!!!" Trunks was wide eyed! "We WHAT? And I don't remember THAT?! DAMN." They started making out again. They paused for a second and looked out the window. "Why are we at Wal-Mart?!" Said trunks. "I Don't know, but my head hurts" exclaimed Heather. "Oh my God are those your parents?" "Uh, yeah." They quickly got out of the car, and, uh, flew away.
Back on the roof at Kame House…
"Tell us what happened!" yelled Goten. "No!" "YES!" "NO!" "YES!" "ALRIGHT! You and Marron made out, so did both of our parents, I'm telling you, that was just scary, uh, Gohan and Natasha did too, so did the, uh, other me and Heather, and we had a bunch of bunny rabbits drag Videl away and ship her to a laboratory in Timbuktu." Trunks said. "I remember the thing about Videl…wait, WHAT DID MARRON AND I DO?" "Uh… you two, uh…made out." "AND YOU DIDN'T STOP ME? WHAT KIND OF BEST FRIEND ARE YOU?" "Hey, don't yell at me. You both were enjoying it." Said Trunks smugly. Marron and Goten both leaped at him and pushed him off the roof. He was lucky he knew how to fly.
Godu found himself inside the bar. "My head hurts." He moaned. He was using someone's head as a pillow. "EEW!!!" he screamed. Just then the police burst in and arrested him for murder.
Videl hit the bars of her cage. "LET ME OUT YOU STUPID BUNNY RABBITS!" They didn't listen to her, and they gave her a rotten carrot. "Here you go, stupid human! HA HA HA!!!" laughed Muffy, Fluffy's evil right hand bunny. Videl sat down and cried. The rabbits laughed at her.
Yamcha woke up on the couch. He walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth. "What the fuck happened to me???" he yelled when he saw a bunch of cuts and bruises. He opened up the medicine cabinet, only to find that there was no headache medicine. "NOOO!!!!" Trunks and Heather heard him scream on their way home from Wal-Mart.
18 shook Krillin awake. "Get up. We have to get those photographs of everyone developed." Krillin sat up and rubbed his hands together. "Blackmail!" They both laughed evilly - well, as evilly as they could. 18 was pretty good at it (she had been evil once, you know), but Krillin had always been a good guy. They left to go to the photo place, and on their way saw Goten and Marron push Trunks off the roof. "Marron and Goten are really getting along aren't they?" said Krillin. "After last night's display, I would hope so!" responded his wife. They continued on their way.
Master Roshi bounced around his house, incredibly hyper. "That was the best birthday party! I can't wait for next year! I get to go to Disney land! Yeehaa!" He jumped of his couch, and hit his head on the TV. "Owie! I want my mommy!" he wailed. "Goo goo ga ga gee!" Tien made a note. "No more alcohol for Master Roshi." He looked out the window, and saw Trunks 2 fall off the roof, stop himself in the air, and Goten attack him. "Oh my God! What are they doing?" However, he couldn't do anything about them because Master Roshi had discovered the fact that there were sharp kitchen knives in one of the drawers, and was playing "Super Saiyan Ninja Man!" and was throwing them at the wall, trying to hit an imaginary target.
"DIE!" yelled Goten. Marron was cheering him on. "Oh shut up!" yelled Trunks. "DIE DIE DIE DIE!" yelled Goten, punctuating each 'die' with a ki blast. "STOP IT!" "NO!" "YES!" "NO!" "Please?" "NO!" "Hey, I'm not the one who took pictures!" Goten stopped. "People took pictures?" Trunks nodded. "Yeah, Krillin and 18." "Oh my God, no!" "Oh my God, yes!"
Krillin and 18 went to Capsule Corporation with the pictures first, where they found Yamcha, Heather, and Trunks 1 all sitting around, Trunks laughing his head off, Heather apologizing to Yamcha, and Yamcha looking very confused. "Hey you guys. What's up?" asked Krillin. "Well, apparently Heather, Natasha, and Bulma all sang to me, and Heather's apologizing, and Trunks thinks it's the funniest thing in the world. Other than that, not much. You?" Krillin smiled. "We just have some pictures from last night, right honey?" he said to his wife. "That's right. Everybody meet us at Kame house. We're going to show these pictures to everyone at once." With that, they flew off to Goku's house. "Uh, Heather?" Trunks said. "Yeah?" "What pictures do you think they have?" Realization swept over Heather's face. "Oh shit." They grabbed Yamcha. "Come on, we have to get to Kame House!" They left a note for Bulma and Vegeta about what Krillin and 18 had said about the pictures, and flew off.
Goku and Chi-chi set down the bag of Tylenol. Chi-chi disappeared with 15 boxes, and Goku was about to take some, when Gohan and Natasha staggered into the kitchen. "We…need…Advil…" groaned Gohan. Wordlessly, Goku handed them some. Gohan swallowed his down with a cup of water, but Natasha just dumped some in her mouth and swallowed the Tylenol down. Krillin and 18 burst into the room. "Hey guys. What's up?" asked Krillin. "Ugh." Said Goku. "How can you be so perky?" Krillin smirked. "I didn't drink that much last night." 18 spoke up. "I'm an android. I don't get drunk." "Oh, right." Said Goku, looking sheepish. "Anyway, we're here to tell you that we have some pictures, and you really want to see these!" said Krillin. "But to see them you have to come to Kame House." 18 said. Goku ran to get Chi-chi. "Wait a minute…" said Gohan. "What kind of pictures do you have?" "Pictures from last night. We've got to go. Bye!" With that, Krillin and 18 flew away, Natasha and Gohan closely behind.
At Kame House, everybody gathered around 18 and Krillin, desperate to see the pictures from last night - most of them didn't remember what had happened. "Not only do we have pictures," Krillin said, "we videotaped the whole thing!" "WHAT?" was the general reaction. Krillin popped the video into the VCR, and everyone watched as Chi-chi, Bulma, and Videl sang Bootylicious; Heather, Bulma, and Natasha sing their version of "We'll make a man out of you" to Yamcha; They were all laughing (Except Goku and Chi-chi) when Goku and Chi-chi sang "A Collection of Children's Songs". Trunks 2 and Goten watched themselves sing Hakuna Matata, and tried to destroy the tape. Goku and Vegeta were horrified when they discovered they had sang "I wanna be bad", and Piccolo was not amused with the part where he yelled that he was a lamp. They all saw Vegeta and Bulma, and Goten and Marron make out, but the finale consisted of Heather and Trunks' swordfight, Yamcha tripping her, and Trunks and Heather making out. Then, the pictures were passed out. Vegeta ripped up all the ones he was handed. Trunks and Heather discreetly saved theirs, and so did Gohan and Natasha. Everyone else burned his or hers. "Well, I can't wait till we go to Disney Land!" screeched Master Roshi. "Oh shut up!" everyone yelled.
By the We Love the Super Saiyans' Sons Fan Club: Especially Trunks and Gohan - W.L.S.S.S.F.C.E.T.G. - Heather and Natasha (us) are the only members. We'd like to say that this takes place before Pan was born. She never existed. Now that that has been cleared up, on with the story…
Everyone got in Bulma's transport…thing. When I say everyone, I mean everyone. Except the bad guys; they weren't there. Anyway…there was Krillin, 18, Marron, Goku, Godu (Goku's evil twin from another dimension), Chi-chi, Bulma, Trunks, Future Trunks, Goten, Gohan, Videl (evil psycho…), Vegeta, Yamcha, Piccolo, Tien, Chautzo, Natasha, and Heather. (The last two are us.). They were going to a karaoke bar/club to celebrate Master Roshi's…um…birthday. Everyone had stopped counting how old he was, because, face it, he was just too old. Anyway, they were all going to the karaoke bar, and Yamcha was hitting on Bulma, as usual. Vegeta wasn't happy about it. By the time they reached the Karaoke bar, Yamcha had a black eye and a bloody nose. He was also limping. Gohan was trying to hide from his annoying wife Videl, but not having much luck. "Get away from me!" he screamed. Videl, being the idiotic brat she was, didn't get the drift. Gohan rolled his eyes. "I need a beer." He muttered.
Piccolo had brought a bag with him, but nobody was sure about what was inside. Piccolo (who was quite…wasted) strolled over to the punch bowl (the only non-alcoholic drink found in the club), reached into the bag, and pulled out a black water bottle. He unscrewed the top, and poured all of the contents in. He mixed the bowl up, and walked back to his friends. "What did you do, Piccolo?" asked Goku. "I was, uh (*cough*) just making sure it was fresh." Piccolo replied. "Oh, that's so sweet!" screeched Chi-chi. "Uh, yeah." Piccolo got as far away from Goku's wife as possible. Unfortunately, this meant that he had to stand by Videl.
They all, uh, sat down somewhere, and everyone had a couple drinks (Piccolo had MORE than a couple, if you know what I mean), and Tien and Chiautzo didn't have any. They were the designated drivers, and they felt very special. After seeing what was going on - Piccolo was pretending he was Spiderman "My Spider sense is tingling!" he yelled, more than once, and the two Trunks' were arguing over who was the better Trunks. (A/N: From this point on, Future Trunks will be known as Trunks1, and the, uh, regular Trunks will be Trunks 2. Right then. Moving on…) Trunks 2 and Goten went over to the punch, because they were underage and couldn't drink the "stuff" everyone else was drinking. They took the whole bowl, and standing together, gulped the whole thing down. They put the bowl back, and within seconds, it was refilled. Piccolo staggered over, took out another water bottle (blue this time), poured the contents in, mixed it up, and staggered back to his seat. Trunks 2 and Goten gulped this one down, and got extremely…hyper. They were literally bouncing off the walls. Trunks1 and Vegeta, thinking that they were seeing things, each drank another beer. Gohan found this hilariously funny. (Why, I don't know. But he did).
Bulma, Chi-chi, and Videl sprang up, and ran over to the stage. They got up there, grabbed the microphones, and began singing Destiny's Child's "Bootylicious". They all started together "Chi-Chi, Can you handle this? Videl, Can you handle this? Bulma, Can you handle this? I don't think they can handle this!" They sang for a while, and towards the middle of the song, they turned towards their husbands, and sang, "Goku, can you handle this? Gohan, can you handle this? Vegeta, can you handle this? I don't think you can handle this" Yamcha, who was drooling, again, looked a little disappointed that Bulma had said Vegeta instead of Yamcha. Vegeta turned and smirked at him. Yamcha's response was to throw an empty beer bottle at him. He let go of it to early, and it flew backwards and hit Yamcha on the head, giving him a nasty bruise in the shape of a beer bottle. The three women finished up singing, "'Cause my body too Bootylicious for ya babe!" They got off the stage, and Godu (Goku's evil twin from another dimension) went up there. "I want to sing a very important song." He paused, then started singing. "The sun will come out, tomorrow!" he was a very bad singer, and fell off the stage during a spin, cutting short the torture of him singing.
Heather, Natasha, and Bulma grabbed Yamcha and dragged him up there. Bulma grabbed a chair and they tied Yamcha to it. The DJ (who had been sleeping and had missed all the shows before this, which is why he was never mentioned), was woke up by Natasha slapping him in the face. "WAKE… UP… YOU… LAZY…" she never got to finish, because, well, he woke up. "I want you to play 'I'll make a man out of you'." She yelled, choking him. DJ Fred (his name is Fred. Do you have a problem with that? No? Good.) nodded, and quickly put the song on. The girls circled Yamcha screaming the song at the top of their lungs. "Let's get down to business/to help you get a life/ Did they send us a wimp/ when we asked/ for a man?/ You're the saddest guy/ we've ever seen/ but you can bet/ before we're through/ Yamcha we'll make a man/ out of you!/Tranquil as the forest/ But on fire/ within./ Once you find s girlfriend/ you are sure/ to win!/ You're a spineless snail/ pathetic dude/ and you haven't got a clue/ Somehow we'll/ make a man/ out of you!/ (Yamcha:) I'm never gonna catch my breath/ say goodbye to those who knew me!/ Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym!/ These girls got me scared to death/ Hope Vegeta doesn't see me/ Now I really wish that I had a life!/ (the girls:) BE A MAN!/ You must be swift as a coursing river/BE A MAN/ with all the strength of a great fighter/BE A MAN/ with all the force of a Kamehameha/ mysterious as the dark side of the moon!/ Time is racing towards us/ until the day/ you die./ Heed our every order/ and you might SURVIVE!/ You're unsuited for/ the rage of courtship/ so pack up, go home/ you loser/ How could we/ think that we/ could make a man out of you?/ BE A MAN/ You must be swift as a coursing river/BE A MAN/ with all the force of a Kamehameha/ BE A MAN/ with all the strength of a great fighter / mysterious as the dark side of the moon!/ You're a wimp!/ You must be swift as a coursing river/ you're a wimp!/ with all the strength of a great fighter/ you're a wimp!/ with all the force of a Kamehameha/ mysterious as the dark side of the moon! Bulma: Like Vegeta! Natasha: Like Gohan! Heather: Like Trunks!" They bowed, and threw Yamcha (still tied to the chair) off the stage. Heather and Natasha flew off the stage, and Bulma jumped into Vegeta's arms, and Yamcha cried. Videl (being the idiot she was) decided that she would sing a solo. She selected Meredith Brook's "Bitch". She reached the refrain… "I'm a bitch…" Gohan, Natasha, Goku, Chichi, Vegeta, Trunks (1 & 2), Goten, Piccolo, and Heather all interrupted her. "You got that right!" They screamed. Videl ran off crying. Yamcha (still tied to the chair - no one had bothered untying him) crawled after her. He was the only one who really cared that she was gone. Piccolo decided that those two leaving was a reason to celebrate, so he made a toast. Raising up a keg of beer, he said, "I (*hic*) like to propose a toast (*hic*). Thank God they're gone!" With that, he popped a whole in the keg, and chugged the whole thing down. Everybody cheered. 18 grabbed Krillin and dragged him up to the stage. 18 were Mariah Carey fan (Krillin had been forced to listen to endless repeats of her songs, and it didn't help that his own daughter knew all the lyrics by heart). They started singing. "(Chorus) Thank God I found you/ I was lost without you /My every wish and every dream/ Somehow became reality/When you brought the sunlight/ Completed my whole life/ I'm overwhelmed with gratitude/ Cause baby I'm so thankful/ I found you/ (Krillin)I would give you everything /There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do /To ensure your happiness
/I'll cherish every part of you/Because without you beside me I can't survive/I don't wanna try/If you're keeping me warm each and every night/I'll be all right/Cause I need you in my life/Cause baby I'm so thankful/I found you /(18 & Krillin)See I was so desolate/Before you came to me/Looking back I guess it shows /that we were destined to shine
(18)
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude/My baby I'm so thankful I found you
When they finished, Piccolo and Vegeta were sobbing. "That was beautiful!" Piccolo cried. "That was so touching!" yelled Vegeta. Goten and Marron were applauding. Gohan and Natasha hadn't been paying attention - they were making out. Heather was snapping pictures of them, and Goku was staring at them, thinking "Oh my God!" Chi-chi was yelling at Gohan that he couldn't kiss Natasha, he had to go study! She was very drunk, because it ended up sounding like. "You can kiss Natasha, you have too, buddy!" Goten and Trunks 2 drank some more (spiked) punch. Vegeta and Goku, who were both probably as drunk as Piccolo, staggered to the stage, falling over quite a lot. They sang Willa Ford's "I Wanna Be Bad." It was almost enough to sober Piccolo up. Almost - not quite. After they finished, everyone drank even more than before, trying to forget that Vegeta and Goku had sang "I Wanna Be Bad." Chi-chi, however, stood up and cheered. "You know," she said to Bulma, "Vegeta's a fox." Bulma glanced at her. "Yeah, I know. That's why I slept with him. See, Trunks is proof!" Chi-chi cut in. "Yeah, but Goku's sexier. "Uh-uh. Vegeta is!" "Goku!" "Vegeta!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" "GOKU!" "VEGETA!" This went on for the better part of the night.
Hercule staggered into the bar. Trunks 1 (who was drunk - just like everyone else) "accidentally" cut Hercule's head off with his sword; which just appeared out of nowhere, just like in the show. "Oops. Sorry about that." He said, not looking very sorry, and continued walking over to the bar, leaving Hercule's corpse just laying by the door. Godu walked over to Hercule, and sat a beer down next to him. "Here, have a beer." Godu walked off, a ridiculous smile on his face. Videl came back in with Yamcha (she had untied him), and nobody noticed them enter except Gohan. He took a glass, filled it up with water, and dumped it on Videl's head. Gohan ran away laughing hysterically. Master Roshi and Yamcha went up on the stage to sing Sisqo's "Thong Song". They were both really bad singers, so Vegeta threw a beer keg at them, and it knocked them unconscious. Heather and Trunks 1 dragged them off the stage, and they raced onto the stage, fighting over who got to sing. While they were arguing, Gohan strolled up there, grabbed the mike from them, and began singing Backstreet Boys' "I wanna be with you". "I wanna be with you/It's crazy but it's true/ you know it's true/ And everything I do/ Is for you./ I wanna be with you/ It's crazy but it's true/ Oh with you/ Yeah everybody say/ Yeah see you once again/ yeah everybody swing/ Yeah everybody say/ Yeah see once again/ yeah everybody swing." He finished up with a dramatic bow. "Oh Gohan, that was so sweet!" yelled Videl. "It wasn't for you, idiot! It was for Natasha!" He yelled at her. Natasha stuck her tongue out at Videl, and growled. Videl growled back. It came out sounding like a constipated cow. Trunks 2 and Goten stared at her. "Hey Goten. Maybe we can lock her up in a laboratory. That'll get rid of her, and I'm sure that all the scientists would love to study a cow that looks like a person." Goten's face lit up. "YEAH!!!" They began plotting as to how they would kidnap her. "She's to fat for us to lift…" said Goten. "Yeah, even if we turn into Super Saiyans…we could get a professional moving company. If we got the WHOLE company, maybe they could just manage to get her into a cage." Trunks said. But anyway, back to Natasha and Videl. "Grr!" Natasha said. "Mooogrr…" moaned Videl. "Alright you little hussy, lets get this over with." Said Natasha. "Let's take this outside!" Said Videl " Why it'll be over in second, plus I wanna make out with your ex, and oh, by the way," Natasha leaned in closer. "He's a good kisser. But, you probably wouldn't know that." Natasha said, smirking. "Why you little…" Videl said, leaping at her. Natasha dodged it. "Whoa, Bessie. Wow, you're certainly getting to be a fat little cow, aren't ya!?" They walked outside, insulting each other the whole way. Somehow, Videl missed the fact that her father was laying there without a head, but who cares. Right then. On with the show. Trunks 2 and Goten were at the bar, asking the bartender if they could use his phone. "Why?" "Uh…we want to make a phone call?" said Trunks 2. "Yeah. We want to call a mov-" Goten was cut off by Trunks 2 whacking him on the head. "What if he tells someone what we're going to do?" Trunks 2 said. "Good point. We want to, uh, call my uncle. Yeah, that's it!" said Goten. "Alright…" the bartender said reluctantly. He showed them were the phone was. "Uh, Trunks? Do you have any change?" "No, why?" "It's a payphone. We need money to use it." "We could call collect." "Yeah, good idea. Uh, what's the number?" "1-800-COLLECT" "Oh, right." (pause) "Uh, Trunks, what's the number of the moving company?" "I don't know that!" "Then we're screwed." "Dammit." They walked up to Gohan. "Hey, Gohan, do you know the number of a moving company?" asked Goten. "Nope." "Oh, okay." They walked up to Heather. "Do you know the number of a moving company?" asked Trunks. "Nope. Sorry. You know, you should really call one and have them move Videl to like, Timbuktu or something." "Uh, that's what we were going to do." "Dammit. I wanted to do that. Oh well. Good luck." They went to Piccolo. "Wait, Goten, we shouldn't ask him. He's acting really weird." "And he smells!" cut in Goten. "Lets ask my dad." So they walked over to Goku. "Do you know the number of a moving company?" Goku pulled a large phonebook out of his pocket. "Here you go son! And my son's friend! What's your name again?" he asked Trunks. "Uh, I'm the Easter Bunny." Trunks said sarcastically. "REALLY? WOW, it's a pleasure to meet you!" Goku said, enthusiastically shaking Trunks' hand. "…" "We have to go." Goten said, and he dragged Trunks back over to the phone. They found a moving company called "FLUFFY THE EVIL BUNNY RABBIT OVERLORD'S REMOVAL SERVICE - we'll get rid of those annoying fat cows for you!" "Perfect!" said Goten. Trunks made the phone call. "WHADDYA MEAN YOU CAN'T COME TILL TOMORROW? …alright, that's good enough, I guess. The address is…" he gave them Gohan and Videl's address, then hung up the phone. They quickly walked away, gave Goku his phone book back, and drank some more punch.
It didn't take long for Natasha to come back inside. She came in with a big grin on her face she walked over to where Heather, Trunks1, and Gohan were standing. "What happened to Videl?" Asked Trunks1 and Gohan. " I kicked her ass! Duh!" They all began laughing. Videl came stumbling back in. Her once long hair was now cut unevenly and in patches. She had two black eyes and her face was full of claw marks. Her clothes were all torn up. She was limping and could barley talk. No one noticed but Piccolo who said, "Here have a shot of tequila. It'll make ya feel gooooooooood!" he started singing, "I'm feeling so good! I knew that I would!" He was cut off by Videl throwing the tequila in his face and storming off. "Well, that was rude." Piccolo huffed. He licked his face, and continued singing. "Drinking my tequila like I should! Yup, life is good!" He found a lamp, and commenced dancing around the room with a lampshade on his head. "Hey look everybody! I'M A LAMP!!!" he yelled. Nobody really noticed. Heather and Trunks1 were dueling (he was using the sword, and she was using a broken chair leg. It was very sharp and pointy, and it gave you splinters as Master Roshi discovered when he got hit with the, uh, chair leg.) "DIE TRUNKS DIE!" Heather screamed. "NO!" yelled Trunks1 "YES!" Heather screamed. "NO!" "YES!" "NO!" "YES!" "SHUT UP!" "MAKE ME, MONKEY BOY!" "I'M NOT A MONKEY!" "NO, BUT YOUR DAD IS!" Trunks paused. "That's true…" Yamcha tripped Heather over for making him sing. She just happened to land on top of Trunks1. Taking advantage of this situation, Trunks and Heather started making out. Trunks 2's jaw dropped as he watched (in horror) the older HIM all over Heather. Goten laughed hysterically and fell over unconscious because he couldn't breath. "I'll kill you…ummm…minute Yam…mmm…cha!" Yamcha smirked. "Don't bother. I think you're enjoying yourself. Don't stop after just a minute on MY expense." There was no response. "Maybe I can get someone to trip Bulma…" thought Yamcha. He began to tear cause he had no one to make out with, cause at that same time, Vegeta and Bulma where making out. Trunks 2 was looking back and forth between his parents (his parents, for god's sake!!!) and, uh, himself. The first one was scary enough, but add the other, pair, he felt that he would be scarred for life. "Awww come on guys not you too!!" he said when he saw Goten (who was now conscious) and Marron. "The world is out to get me!" he moaned. "Hey Trunks! You're a great kisser!" He turned to see Heather taking a break and waving at him. "Oh my God!" He thought. "That's just wrong!" He walked away, and decided to make faces at Gohan and Natasha. At least she was better than Videl. About five seconds later, THEY were making out too! "MY GOD WHAT IS UP WITH YOU PEOPLE?!" yelled Trunks 2. Piccolo came over singing. "At least HE isn't making out with someone." Thought Trunks 2. "I've been working on the railroad! All the -uh- something day!" he wailed at the top of his lungs. "I need more punch." Said Trunks as he held his head in disappointment. Goku and Chi-Chi were singing the whole damn "Collection of Children's Songs". They had gotten the CD for Videl's birthday (she wasn't the shiniest coin at the bottom of the fountain), but Chi-chi and Goku had liked it so much that they hadn't given it to her. They were currently on "The Farmer in the Dell." Trunks 2, Goten, and Marron pushed Goku and Chi-chi off the stage (even after they fell, they were still singing). They were singing "Hakuna Matata" from the Lion King. Marron: Hakuna matata/ what a wonderful phrase! / Goten: Hakuna matata… ain't no pass-ing craze!/ Marron: It means no worries/ for the rest of you days/ Goten and Marron: It's our problem free philosophy!/ Marron: Hakuna Matata! / Marron and Goten: Hakuna matata…what a wonderful phrase / Hakuna matata…ain't no passin' craze! / Trunks: It means no worries for the rest of your days!!!/ Marron and Trunks: It's our problem free/ Goten: Philosophy!/ Trunks and Marron: Hakuna matata!
They all bowed, and got off the stage, and drank some more punch. "Okay everyone!" yelled Chi-chi, who was finished singing "Yankee Doodle". "Everyone, on stage! NOT YOU MASTER ROSHI! EVERYONE BUT YOU!" Everyone got up there, Bulma and Vegeta were very reluctant, but went up there anyway. Natasha, Gohan, Heather, and Trunks didn't notice. "HELLO?!" yelled Chi-chi. "GET ON THE STAGE!!!" They all went up there, and Videl did the "Mooogrr…" at Natasha, but other than that, nothing happened. "OK! ALL TOGETHER NOW! HAPPY BIRTHDAY…" started Chi-chi. Piccolo was the most enthusiastic singer. "HAPPY BIIIIIIIIIRRRRTHDAY MASTER ROOOOOOOOOSHI……………………..HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOOOOOOU!" he wailed. The bartender brought out the cake and placed it in front of Master Roshi. There were three little letter shaped candles on it: O, L, and D. The cake was very large (10 x 10) and it said "Happy Birthday Master Roshi!" written on it in hot pink. "Oh wow!" exclaimed Roshi. "How did you know that hot pink is my favorite color?" he blew out the candles, and cut the cake. Goku and Vegeta each ate ¼ of the cake, so by the time they were finished, there was almost nothing left. Goten ate 1/8, Gohan ate 1/8, Trunks 1 at 1/8, and Trunks 2 at 1/8. After they had all eaten, there was none left. Vegeta and Yamcha got in an argument. "I'm more of a man than you'll ever be!" yelled Vegeta. "You're not a man! You're a goddamn monkey!" "Oh yeah?" "Yeah!" "Fine, then I challenge you to a drinking contest." Screamed Vegeta. "You're on!" Yamcha responded. "This is my chance to impress Bulma…" thought Yamcha. They sat down at a table, and everyone crowded around them. Everyone took bets on who would win. Trunks (1 and 2), Heather, Natasha, Goku, Goten, and Gohan all betted that Vegeta would win. Bulma didn't even try to guess. Krillin, 18, Piccolo, and Marron all thought that Yamcha would win since he hadn't had much to drink. Piccolo just said that cause he didn't really like Vegeta.
15 minutes later…
Tien and Chiatzu walked in to see everyone watching Vegeta and Yamcha. After finding out what was going on Tien bet on Yamcha and Chiatzu bet that Vegeta would win. Vegeta was staring straight ahead, not seeing anything. "Yo, Vegeta." Goku waved his hand in front of Vegeta's face. Yamcha's head smacked down on the table with a loud THUNK. "No Yamcha! Two more, two more!" yelled Tien. Piccolo started singing "For he's a jolly good fellow!" at the top of his lungs. Vegeta blinked, and saw that Yamcha had passed out. "I WON!" he yelled. Vegeta stood up, cheering. "I won! I won! I…" he fell backwards, unconscious. Bulma dragged Vegeta back to the transport-thing, and Videl tried to drag Yamcha. She was suddenly carried away by a bunch of bunny rabbits who said, "Under the orders of the Evil Bunny Rabbit Overlord, Fluffy, we are moving you to a research facility in Timbuktu." They hopped away, locked Videl in a cage, and loaded her in a truck, and drove away. Trunks 2, Goten, and Heather cheered, and everybody joined in. They were all VERY happy to get rid of Videl. So, Yamcha was dragged onto the transport-thing by Tien. Everybody forgot about Piccolo. They flew away, and Piccolo was kicked out of the bar. He wandered into an alley, and saw a dumpster. "This will make a good bed!" he thought, jumped in, and fell asleep.
Meanwhile…
Master Roshi was sitting in his seat, smiling. "That was fun! Next year, we're going to Disney Land!" he cheered. Everybody stared at him. "Are you nuts?" asked Tien. "There are too many people there!" "Then we'll go when it's closed!" "Okay!"
THE NEXT MORNING…
Piccolo woke up with the worst headache he had ever had. "Why am I in a dumpster?" he asked himself. He pulled himself out, and tried to fly home. Unfortunately, his head hurt so badly he couldn't. He settled for walking.
Gohan opened his eyes. He was under the coffee table next to the couch. He looked at the couch, and saw Natasha sleeping there. "Hey! Videl's not here! Yay!" he tried to get up, forgetting that he was under the coffee table. He hit his head, making the headache he already had even worse. "Ow!" he screamed, which woke up Natasha. "Where the heck am I?" she said, freaking out. "Where's D.C.?" (D.C. is her black flying horse.) She saw Gohan. "Oh hey Gohan. What are you doing here? And…why are you under the…coffee table?" "I'm stuck." Natasha started laughing. She laughed so hard, she fell of the couch. "Ouch." "Do you remember anything from last night?" asked Gohan. "Yeah." "Oh." He paused. "What exactly do you remember?" "Um…Videl being dragged away by bunny rabbits, singing to Yamcha…kicking Videl's ass, everyone yelling at her that she was a bitch, and…oh my god I kissed you." "Yeah, I remember that too." "Let's do it again!" "Okay!"
Goku and Chi-chi were at Wal-Mart, buying all of the bottles of Tylenol headache medicine that Wal-Mart carried, when they ran into Bulma and Vegeta, who were buying all the Advil headache medicine.
Trunks 2, Marron, and Goten were on the roof of Kame house. "Uh, how did we get here?" asked Marron. "I dunno." Said Goten. Trunks 2 was laughing hysterically at them (they apparently didn't remember the night before…he did.) "You…two…" he had to stop talking because he was laughing to hard. "What?" asked Goten. "What did we do?" "Yeah, what did we do?" Marron asked. "You…two…were…oh this is just too funny…" They sat there on the roof, Goten and Marron trying to remember what had happened the night before, and Trunks laughing at them.
Heather and Trunks 1 found themselves still in the transport…thing. "What are we doing in here?!" said Trunks surprised to find himself in the car. "Do you remember anything Heather?" "Um…I remember making out with someone but I don't remember who! I remember singing to Yamcha and…trying to kill you!" She paused for a minute. "Oh my god I made out with YOU!!!" Trunks was wide eyed! "We WHAT? And I don't remember THAT?! DAMN." They started making out again. They paused for a second and looked out the window. "Why are we at Wal-Mart?!" Said trunks. "I Don't know, but my head hurts" exclaimed Heather. "Oh my God are those your parents?" "Uh, yeah." They quickly got out of the car, and, uh, flew away.
Back on the roof at Kame House…
"Tell us what happened!" yelled Goten. "No!" "YES!" "NO!" "YES!" "ALRIGHT! You and Marron made out, so did both of our parents, I'm telling you, that was just scary, uh, Gohan and Natasha did too, so did the, uh, other me and Heather, and we had a bunch of bunny rabbits drag Videl away and ship her to a laboratory in Timbuktu." Trunks said. "I remember the thing about Videl…wait, WHAT DID MARRON AND I DO?" "Uh… you two, uh…made out." "AND YOU DIDN'T STOP ME? WHAT KIND OF BEST FRIEND ARE YOU?" "Hey, don't yell at me. You both were enjoying it." Said Trunks smugly. Marron and Goten both leaped at him and pushed him off the roof. He was lucky he knew how to fly.
Godu found himself inside the bar. "My head hurts." He moaned. He was using someone's head as a pillow. "EEW!!!" he screamed. Just then the police burst in and arrested him for murder.
Videl hit the bars of her cage. "LET ME OUT YOU STUPID BUNNY RABBITS!" They didn't listen to her, and they gave her a rotten carrot. "Here you go, stupid human! HA HA HA!!!" laughed Muffy, Fluffy's evil right hand bunny. Videl sat down and cried. The rabbits laughed at her.
Yamcha woke up on the couch. He walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth. "What the fuck happened to me???" he yelled when he saw a bunch of cuts and bruises. He opened up the medicine cabinet, only to find that there was no headache medicine. "NOOO!!!!" Trunks and Heather heard him scream on their way home from Wal-Mart.
18 shook Krillin awake. "Get up. We have to get those photographs of everyone developed." Krillin sat up and rubbed his hands together. "Blackmail!" They both laughed evilly - well, as evilly as they could. 18 was pretty good at it (she had been evil once, you know), but Krillin had always been a good guy. They left to go to the photo place, and on their way saw Goten and Marron push Trunks off the roof. "Marron and Goten are really getting along aren't they?" said Krillin. "After last night's display, I would hope so!" responded his wife. They continued on their way.
Master Roshi bounced around his house, incredibly hyper. "That was the best birthday party! I can't wait for next year! I get to go to Disney land! Yeehaa!" He jumped of his couch, and hit his head on the TV. "Owie! I want my mommy!" he wailed. "Goo goo ga ga gee!" Tien made a note. "No more alcohol for Master Roshi." He looked out the window, and saw Trunks 2 fall off the roof, stop himself in the air, and Goten attack him. "Oh my God! What are they doing?" However, he couldn't do anything about them because Master Roshi had discovered the fact that there were sharp kitchen knives in one of the drawers, and was playing "Super Saiyan Ninja Man!" and was throwing them at the wall, trying to hit an imaginary target.
"DIE!" yelled Goten. Marron was cheering him on. "Oh shut up!" yelled Trunks. "DIE DIE DIE DIE!" yelled Goten, punctuating each 'die' with a ki blast. "STOP IT!" "NO!" "YES!" "NO!" "Please?" "NO!" "Hey, I'm not the one who took pictures!" Goten stopped. "People took pictures?" Trunks nodded. "Yeah, Krillin and 18." "Oh my God, no!" "Oh my God, yes!"
Krillin and 18 went to Capsule Corporation with the pictures first, where they found Yamcha, Heather, and Trunks 1 all sitting around, Trunks laughing his head off, Heather apologizing to Yamcha, and Yamcha looking very confused. "Hey you guys. What's up?" asked Krillin. "Well, apparently Heather, Natasha, and Bulma all sang to me, and Heather's apologizing, and Trunks thinks it's the funniest thing in the world. Other than that, not much. You?" Krillin smiled. "We just have some pictures from last night, right honey?" he said to his wife. "That's right. Everybody meet us at Kame house. We're going to show these pictures to everyone at once." With that, they flew off to Goku's house. "Uh, Heather?" Trunks said. "Yeah?" "What pictures do you think they have?" Realization swept over Heather's face. "Oh shit." They grabbed Yamcha. "Come on, we have to get to Kame House!" They left a note for Bulma and Vegeta about what Krillin and 18 had said about the pictures, and flew off.
Goku and Chi-chi set down the bag of Tylenol. Chi-chi disappeared with 15 boxes, and Goku was about to take some, when Gohan and Natasha staggered into the kitchen. "We…need…Advil…" groaned Gohan. Wordlessly, Goku handed them some. Gohan swallowed his down with a cup of water, but Natasha just dumped some in her mouth and swallowed the Tylenol down. Krillin and 18 burst into the room. "Hey guys. What's up?" asked Krillin. "Ugh." Said Goku. "How can you be so perky?" Krillin smirked. "I didn't drink that much last night." 18 spoke up. "I'm an android. I don't get drunk." "Oh, right." Said Goku, looking sheepish. "Anyway, we're here to tell you that we have some pictures, and you really want to see these!" said Krillin. "But to see them you have to come to Kame House." 18 said. Goku ran to get Chi-chi. "Wait a minute…" said Gohan. "What kind of pictures do you have?" "Pictures from last night. We've got to go. Bye!" With that, Krillin and 18 flew away, Natasha and Gohan closely behind.
At Kame House, everybody gathered around 18 and Krillin, desperate to see the pictures from last night - most of them didn't remember what had happened. "Not only do we have pictures," Krillin said, "we videotaped the whole thing!" "WHAT?" was the general reaction. Krillin popped the video into the VCR, and everyone watched as Chi-chi, Bulma, and Videl sang Bootylicious; Heather, Bulma, and Natasha sing their version of "We'll make a man out of you" to Yamcha; They were all laughing (Except Goku and Chi-chi) when Goku and Chi-chi sang "A Collection of Children's Songs". Trunks 2 and Goten watched themselves sing Hakuna Matata, and tried to destroy the tape. Goku and Vegeta were horrified when they discovered they had sang "I wanna be bad", and Piccolo was not amused with the part where he yelled that he was a lamp. They all saw Vegeta and Bulma, and Goten and Marron make out, but the finale consisted of Heather and Trunks' swordfight, Yamcha tripping her, and Trunks and Heather making out. Then, the pictures were passed out. Vegeta ripped up all the ones he was handed. Trunks and Heather discreetly saved theirs, and so did Gohan and Natasha. Everyone else burned his or hers. "Well, I can't wait till we go to Disney Land!" screeched Master Roshi. "Oh shut up!" everyone yelled.