The Hardest Part of Being a Death Eater
Mr. Weasley : Look at my new Tevelision!
Harry: You mean Television?
Mr. Weasley: That's right! Tevelision! (presses the screen of the television
and waits for it to come on)
Hermione: Mr. Weasley? I think you press one of the buttons below the screen.
Mr. Weasley: No, I really think it's this big button. They wouldn't of made it so big
unless it turned it on... (presses the screen a few more times, and then presses a
button on the bottom, which turns the tv on)
Hermione: Hmph.
(Everyone looks at the TV, which is showing Voldemort and Peter)
TV Voldemort : You know what the hardest part of being a Death Eater is, Wormtail?
TV Peter: (Whimering) What?
Voldemort: You can never get any work done because of the ... GIRLS! (several girls in
bikinis come in and pose around voldemort, who is in a speedo)
Peter: Wow!
Voldemort: Yes, they never seem to leave us alone, do they, Wormtail?
Peter: (a few girls come and pose around him) Nope.
Voldemort: But I guess it's all worth it, since they give us so much MONEY! (Several
people from different companies come in and hand Peter and Voldemort huge bags of
galleons)
Peter: But the best of them all is...
Voldemort: Job satisfaction! (Shows Peter and Voldemort being thanked by Lucius Malfoy
for ridding his neighborhood of filthy muggles)
Peter: If you decide to become a Death Eater in the next 10 minutes, you can get a free tatoo!
(pulls up his sleeve to show the Dark Mark)
Voldemort: Call 1-800-VOLD-IEE for your free Death Eater kit today! (Rap Music begins to
play, and Voldemort and Peter begin to dance with the bikini girls)
***
A/N - Yes, I know it was stupid. That was the idea.
Mr. Weasley : Look at my new Tevelision!
Harry: You mean Television?
Mr. Weasley: That's right! Tevelision! (presses the screen of the television
and waits for it to come on)
Hermione: Mr. Weasley? I think you press one of the buttons below the screen.
Mr. Weasley: No, I really think it's this big button. They wouldn't of made it so big
unless it turned it on... (presses the screen a few more times, and then presses a
button on the bottom, which turns the tv on)
Hermione: Hmph.
(Everyone looks at the TV, which is showing Voldemort and Peter)
TV Voldemort : You know what the hardest part of being a Death Eater is, Wormtail?
TV Peter: (Whimering) What?
Voldemort: You can never get any work done because of the ... GIRLS! (several girls in
bikinis come in and pose around voldemort, who is in a speedo)
Peter: Wow!
Voldemort: Yes, they never seem to leave us alone, do they, Wormtail?
Peter: (a few girls come and pose around him) Nope.
Voldemort: But I guess it's all worth it, since they give us so much MONEY! (Several
people from different companies come in and hand Peter and Voldemort huge bags of
galleons)
Peter: But the best of them all is...
Voldemort: Job satisfaction! (Shows Peter and Voldemort being thanked by Lucius Malfoy
for ridding his neighborhood of filthy muggles)
Peter: If you decide to become a Death Eater in the next 10 minutes, you can get a free tatoo!
(pulls up his sleeve to show the Dark Mark)
Voldemort: Call 1-800-VOLD-IEE for your free Death Eater kit today! (Rap Music begins to
play, and Voldemort and Peter begin to dance with the bikini girls)
***
A/N - Yes, I know it was stupid. That was the idea.
