Insert disclaimer here_______________________________________.
Chapter 2: What
The Hell's a Doolin-Dalton?
He felt the steady rocking motion between his legs and opened his eyes. "Huh?" he uttered in confusion as he looked down at his mount. Mount? "What the hell?!" he pulled back on the reigns and came to a halt.
"Something wrong Vegeta?"
He turned to the source of the voice and frowned angrily. "Kakarot? What are you doing here? Where the hell is here?!" he glanced around. They were out in the middle of a dessert type environment, with tall rocky cliffs to either side.
"Uh, you mean you don't know?" Goku looked confused. "After all, its your dream. To bad it's not in color."
"Color!" he yelled. The scenery around them immediately brightened into the shades of the Kansas territory.
"Oooooh! Nice job."
Vegeta stared for a moment, slightly shocked. Then scowled.
Goku snickered. "Well. Never knew you were an artist. Looks like we're in the old west. There's a town up ahead, maybe somebody there will know something."
"We can fly faster." He growled trying to levitate. Nothing. He held out his hand and tried to form a ki ball. Nothing. Panic started to rise up in the pit of his stomach. "What's going on!"
"Hmm. I can't do it either. Looks like this dreams gonna make us play by the 'Law of the West'." Goku stated in an overly dramatic voice. Then took his gun out of the holster and twirled it around a few times and shot a hole through the middle of a cactus. "Hey! I'm good! Thanks Vegeta!"
'Great. What kind of dream is this anyway? Kami, if this is your idea of a sick joke, so help me I'll make you pay!' he thought. "Put that damn thing away before you shoot me!" Glancing down, he noticed that his own guns were turned backwards. 'Hmm.' He made a fast crisscross draw, an evil smile crossing his face.
"Wow, Vegeta. This is cool. I can't believe you're dreaming, let alone have me in it." They spurred their mounts on towards the town. Goku chattered endlessly about the scenery.
As they rode into town, they noticed the strange looks from the town folk. "Gee. You'd think they were afraid of us or something."
"Good."
Goku looked over at a store where a little bald man was sweeping the porch. "Hey! Krillin! You're here too?"
Krillin looked up and his eyes got wide. "What are you guys doin' in town!? Don't you know you're wanted?"
"Wanted? For what?" Vegeta snapped.
"Murder!"
Goku almost fell off his horse. "What!" then he laughed. "Oh, Krillin. Your such a kidder."
"Goku, I'm not kidding. The Marshal has a warrant out for Vegeta dead or alive. And pretty much the rest of the Wild Bunch. You guys really shouldn't have killed those deputies over in Coffeeville." He shook his head.
"Well, now baldy. You obviously know more about what's going on around here than we do. So why don't you elaborate for us before I blow your head off."
"You don't have to get so persnickerdy Vegeta. I can't believe you don't know what's going on in your own dream. Gees!" he waved his hands frantically as the Saiyan prince aimed his six shooter at him. "Alright! You're in the town of Ingalls. That saloon across the street, The Ramson, is where your gang the Wild Bunch usually hangs out after you've robbed something. But since you just had to go and kill two of Marshall's deputies, your wanted dead or alive. The rest of the gang is hiding out over at the Dunn Ranch waiting for you two to get back. You know, you were the one watching the TV show, you should know this stuff."
Goku pushed his hat back on his head, stunned. "Gang? Robbery? Murder?" his voice rose in octave at each word. "Hell Vegeta! What kind of dream is this!? We're outlaws!"
The Saiyan frowned. "A stupid nightmare! So, we're the Doolin-Dalton gang? That means I'm Bill Doolin, the leader. And you must be-." He looked at the confused baka sitting next to him. "Bill Dalton." Ugh. This was his right hand man? Yeah, Kami was in for it. "Why can't I just wake up?"
Krillin scratched his head. "You'd have to ask Piccolo that one. Oh, and he's George Bitter Creek Newcomb, in case your wondering. He's over in the saloon."
"Gee, Krillin. Who are you supposed to be?" Goku asked, still dazed.
He flashed an angry glare at "Bill". "I'm just supporting cast. So's Tien, and he's pissed too. Vegeta made him a bartender at the Ramsom. The only people you really need to look out for at the moment though are your wives." He snickered.
"Wives? I'm not married." Vegeta blanched.
"Oh, yes you are. You're married to Edith Ellsworth. Secretly of coarse. And she's the owner of the Ramson Saloon. But she's not as pissed as Chichi."
"Chichi! She's here too?" Goku looked around nervously. Things had just gotten really dangerous.
"Yeah, she's a saloon girl."
Vegeta laughed. "Your wife's a hooker!"
Goku glared at him. "Your lucky this is just a dream Vegeta."
"Ooh, I'm so scared. Now lets quit wasting time and go find that Namek and see how I can wake up from this nightmare." He rode across the street to the saloon.
"Vegeta, I don't want to go in there."
"What? Why not?" he looked back at the Saiyan, cowering behind his horse.
"Chichi's in there." He whispered.
'I should just shoot him.' He thought. "Get in here Kakarot! Or I'll give you something to be scared of!"
"Aww!" he scuffed his boot and followed the Saiyan outlaw into the saloon.
They walked in, causing a temporary hush. After a moment, the normal activity started up again.
"Tien!"
The three eyed warrior looked up from wiping off the bar and frowned. "You guys shouldn't be here." He slid Goku a beer. (just go with it) "whose dream is this anyway?"
"Uh- Vegeta's."
"Figures. Piccolo's in the back room waiting for you. With the boss." He smiled.
Goku looked nervous. "Is Chichi back there, too?" He felt a tap on his shoulder, and turned to see his…wife? She was dressed like a…saloon girl! Well, actually, she looked pretty good. "Hey, Chichi."
She didn't look happy to see him. "What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into now? And why am I dressed like… like this!"
"Oh, calm down woman! It's only a dream and as soon as I can figure out how to wake myself up you can go back to being your normal bossy self!" Vegeta cut in.
"I should've known you'd be behind this! Turning my poor husband into an outlaw!"
He sneered, turning his back and walking to the room Tien had indicated. As soon as he entered, his jaw dropped. It was bad enough seeing the Namek dressed like Wyatt Earp, but the woman was dressed just like Kakarot's female.
"Told you he'd come." Piccolo put down his drink.
"Vegeta, you shouldn't be here." Bulma crossed the room to him.
"Why does everybody keep saying that to me!? I don't want to be here!" he exploded.
"Well don't yell at me ass! I'm not the one dreaming about you!"
"And how does everybody know this is a dream?"
Piccolo chuckled. "You shouldn't have said that."
Vegeta was almost knocked off his feet as Bulma through her arms around his neck. "Oh, if the sheriff catches you here, he'll shoot you!"
"Have you lost your mind woman?"
"No, as soon as you wondered about everybody knowing it was a dream, your subconscious corrected itself. Now everybody will be in character." The Namek informed him.
"Oh, then how come you still know?" he smirked.
"Because you need me to get you out of here." He smirked back.
Goku burst into the room, giving them an odd look, then busted out laughing. "Hey, Piccolo! Love the clothes!"
"You aren't exactly making a fashion statement either Goku." He frowned.
"How come he's still the same?" Vegeta growled, trying to pry the woman off him. Slightly amazed that he was having trouble. When did she get so strong?
"Guess he's part of the solution, too."
"Well, then, how the hell do I get out of here?" he was beginning to get impatient. Really impatient. If he'd had his powers, he would have blown everyone up by now.
"You can't. Or not at least until you've accomplished what your subconscious mind thinks you need to do. We just have to figure out what that is, before the Marshal kills you."
Bulma (Edith) gasped. "You've got to get to the Dunn Ranch and hide before the sheriff gets here. I'll set him on a false trail for you."
"I should trust you woman?" he asked sarcastically.
"Of coarse. I'm your wife, and I love you." She reached up and kissed him full on the mouth. His eyes opened wide with shock.
Goku and Piccolo looked a little uncomfortable. Finally Piccolo spoke up. "Uh, we should go now. It wouldn't do for the marshal to walk in on this."
Vegeta stared down into the woman's blue eyes, suddenly feeling strange. Had he actually just enjoyed being kissed by her? This was defiantly a nightmare.
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