Cho-Ah,
Wah! When I read your letter I was so mad. You can be so silly Cho-ah. I told myself, Cho is just being a silly little girl, so I wrote to LuLuing about you. I didn't want to, LuLing is very proud, don't like asking her for advice. But I did, and she says, tell Cho everything, don't hide any secrets. It is almost Chinese New Year, when you pay all your debts. You owe this debt to your daughter.
I thought all about what Luling said, she was right. She usually isn't but this time, yes, Luling is right.
So I will tell you everything and then you can't call me dumb or stupid because you'll finally understand. You didn't think I had secrets? What did you think? There is a lot you don't know about me, a lot I didn't want to tell you until you were big, grown up and married.
Luling, you never met her did you? She very tricky, born in the year of the snake. I was an ox, we don't get along. Snakes are very bad-vain, tricky people. So you see why I don't like the snake house? I was so glad when you weren't in it! But Luling and I, we go through the same things, same hardships. Maybe it was fate, I don't know.
But when you go through the things we did together how can you not be friends?
Yes, I was born in the year of the ox. I don't know what year that was in China, calendar is different there. I remember I was born in the year when the Communists took the gold from the neighbors. It was the year of the great heat wave; ai-ya! What heat, I can even remember, and I was baby then. But what year it was, which English year, I do not know.
Maybe nineteen sixty five, maybe sixty seven. You see how time runs by? Maybe I was born earlier, and just pretending I was young. But I know this, I was born in the year of the ox.
The communists had been in power, yes. They didn't like my father, my mother and his concubines. What, you didn't know this, your grandfather had four wives? Yes, four wives, but my mother was the true wife, First Wife. The rest were just low class concubines. So you see, my blood is still good, not the daughter of a pretty ornament, but a real lady.
Now, in England, everything is magic or not magic. Big differences-meinlul's shop here, wizards shop there. In China it is different. In China wizards and meinlul's blend together-shop at same places, eat the same, talk the same. Very much the same in customs except we wizards had wands up our sleeves. Sometimes you'd hear loud bangs on streets where an angry wizard lost his temper at a merchant trying to sell him cheap products, or asking too much money.
See how things are there? We don't have this Ministry of Magic covering things up. In China if the meinlul saw something magic, like dragons, or wands, we just say, "Wah, he was smoking too much opium" Lots of things blamed on opium, not just by wizards. Maybe it's easier that way.
My father, your grandfather, he was a wizard, but I only saw him use his wand once, to shrink my feet when I was a child. We were rich, lived in Soochow, beautiful voices in Soochow, and very good noodles too. Before the war, my father said, everything very modern, lots of American styled houses, Italian cars, British pastries. Everyone was foreigner crazy. After the Japanese invaded, and after that Chairman Mao and his communists, the house fell into disrepair. I don't know how we kept our wealth so long; maybe because in the war my father did business with communists, sold them steel, very cheap. See how clever my father was?
My mother, I do not remember. She died the day I was born. But I do remember she was very beautiful. There was a portrait of her in the living room-so pretty, with hair darker than even mine, can you imagine, and small lips, big eyes. My father was very good to her memory. He did not let second wife become real wife. She remained second wife. He took more concubines on after that, but none, not one, was called first wife, real wife. That was my mothers. You think it's bad to have lots of wives? In China not so. If you're rich enough you can have hundreds of wives. It is like, how some people have lots of cars. Sounds bad, and sometimes it was. But my father was always very good to his wives, that's what I think. Or maybe I'm just remembering what I want to. After all, why have a bad memory when you can make up a good one. If you say a lie to yourself just enough times you begin to believe it.
The communists lied a lot, and people believed it. Did you know, Chairman Mao, he was a wizard? No, I'm not joking. How else do you think he won so many people's attention, not by his face, wah! I liked Mao, at least at first. Not a very smart man; very bad at the end. He made mistakes; my father must've hated him. But I liked him. He gave women rights, he gave the poor money. No matter if he took it from my father. What did my father need the money for, dowry money for wives, when there were people starving in the streets.
I was raised by my wet nurse. I called her Amah. I can't remember her real name. Very nice lady, my Amah. Spoiled me though, very badly. Maybe that was wrong.
And there was my childhood. Yes, I said everything...except...except. Oh! Should have said this before, you see, back then my name, it wasn't Cho Chang. See then, it was, Chou Ying-Gai, worry free.
Wah! When I read your letter I was so mad. You can be so silly Cho-ah. I told myself, Cho is just being a silly little girl, so I wrote to LuLuing about you. I didn't want to, LuLing is very proud, don't like asking her for advice. But I did, and she says, tell Cho everything, don't hide any secrets. It is almost Chinese New Year, when you pay all your debts. You owe this debt to your daughter.
I thought all about what Luling said, she was right. She usually isn't but this time, yes, Luling is right.
So I will tell you everything and then you can't call me dumb or stupid because you'll finally understand. You didn't think I had secrets? What did you think? There is a lot you don't know about me, a lot I didn't want to tell you until you were big, grown up and married.
Luling, you never met her did you? She very tricky, born in the year of the snake. I was an ox, we don't get along. Snakes are very bad-vain, tricky people. So you see why I don't like the snake house? I was so glad when you weren't in it! But Luling and I, we go through the same things, same hardships. Maybe it was fate, I don't know.
But when you go through the things we did together how can you not be friends?
Yes, I was born in the year of the ox. I don't know what year that was in China, calendar is different there. I remember I was born in the year when the Communists took the gold from the neighbors. It was the year of the great heat wave; ai-ya! What heat, I can even remember, and I was baby then. But what year it was, which English year, I do not know.
Maybe nineteen sixty five, maybe sixty seven. You see how time runs by? Maybe I was born earlier, and just pretending I was young. But I know this, I was born in the year of the ox.
The communists had been in power, yes. They didn't like my father, my mother and his concubines. What, you didn't know this, your grandfather had four wives? Yes, four wives, but my mother was the true wife, First Wife. The rest were just low class concubines. So you see, my blood is still good, not the daughter of a pretty ornament, but a real lady.
Now, in England, everything is magic or not magic. Big differences-meinlul's shop here, wizards shop there. In China it is different. In China wizards and meinlul's blend together-shop at same places, eat the same, talk the same. Very much the same in customs except we wizards had wands up our sleeves. Sometimes you'd hear loud bangs on streets where an angry wizard lost his temper at a merchant trying to sell him cheap products, or asking too much money.
See how things are there? We don't have this Ministry of Magic covering things up. In China if the meinlul saw something magic, like dragons, or wands, we just say, "Wah, he was smoking too much opium" Lots of things blamed on opium, not just by wizards. Maybe it's easier that way.
My father, your grandfather, he was a wizard, but I only saw him use his wand once, to shrink my feet when I was a child. We were rich, lived in Soochow, beautiful voices in Soochow, and very good noodles too. Before the war, my father said, everything very modern, lots of American styled houses, Italian cars, British pastries. Everyone was foreigner crazy. After the Japanese invaded, and after that Chairman Mao and his communists, the house fell into disrepair. I don't know how we kept our wealth so long; maybe because in the war my father did business with communists, sold them steel, very cheap. See how clever my father was?
My mother, I do not remember. She died the day I was born. But I do remember she was very beautiful. There was a portrait of her in the living room-so pretty, with hair darker than even mine, can you imagine, and small lips, big eyes. My father was very good to her memory. He did not let second wife become real wife. She remained second wife. He took more concubines on after that, but none, not one, was called first wife, real wife. That was my mothers. You think it's bad to have lots of wives? In China not so. If you're rich enough you can have hundreds of wives. It is like, how some people have lots of cars. Sounds bad, and sometimes it was. But my father was always very good to his wives, that's what I think. Or maybe I'm just remembering what I want to. After all, why have a bad memory when you can make up a good one. If you say a lie to yourself just enough times you begin to believe it.
The communists lied a lot, and people believed it. Did you know, Chairman Mao, he was a wizard? No, I'm not joking. How else do you think he won so many people's attention, not by his face, wah! I liked Mao, at least at first. Not a very smart man; very bad at the end. He made mistakes; my father must've hated him. But I liked him. He gave women rights, he gave the poor money. No matter if he took it from my father. What did my father need the money for, dowry money for wives, when there were people starving in the streets.
I was raised by my wet nurse. I called her Amah. I can't remember her real name. Very nice lady, my Amah. Spoiled me though, very badly. Maybe that was wrong.
And there was my childhood. Yes, I said everything...except...except. Oh! Should have said this before, you see, back then my name, it wasn't Cho Chang. See then, it was, Chou Ying-Gai, worry free.