Title: "The Lamentable Demise of George" Part 11
Author: Madeleine Mitchell Carr
Email:
Category: General, Josh/Donna
Rating: PG
Summary: Josh, Donna, a chinchilla. General mayhem and confusion. Many misunderstandings ensue. A touch of angst and a pinch of romance.
Donna POV
Spoilers: Post-'Noel'. Glancing references to many other shows, but this has veered pretty much into the realm of the plotless (and pointless)
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Aaron Sorkin and NBC; I'm just borrowing them. Please don't sue me, as I have no money.
Feedback would be hugely appreciated
For a moment there, I was almost jubilant.
My plan was to get back to Josh's office to talk to him calmly and rationally, in the way that CJ had suggested so that I could find out exactly what was going on and whether it was something I should be worried about.
She was right. I am totally paranoid about Josh and that is as bad for me as it is for him.
But, that didn't mean that I wasn't nervous, because, after all, since when do Josh and I ever have a serious conversation?
Anyway, I was so apprehensive that I knew very well that if anyone stopped me or talked to me on the way, I would lose my nerve.
So, having scuttled away from Sam outside CJ's office, I decided to take the long way round back to the bullpen. I was successfully elusive for a while, until I spotted Cathy at her desk. She hadn't seen me, so casting about for a second, I grabbed an armful of files from Ginger's (deserted) desk, took a deep breath, and strode purposefully past Cathy, flashing a quick smile and a half-wave and trying to look very busy and important.
That obstacle avoided, I was making a bee-line for my desk, when Leo strode out of Josh's office, his back stiff with what I recognised as anger. Startled, I leapt back into the shadow at the corner of Sam's office just as CJ and Sam appeared out of nowhere and kidnapped Leo. (At any other time, I would have wondered just what that was all about, but I wasn't going to let myself be distracted). Taking yet another deep breath, I slipped out of hiding and practically ran for my desk.
Made it!
As I said, I was almost jubilant.
Almost
I'm looking up and all I can see is Josh staring back at me. He's hanging off the doorframe in a manner I normally find endearing, but there's nothing endearing about the expression in his eyes. He's looking at me coldly as though I'm a stranger he's never met and has no intention of ever being introduced to.
Josh never looks at me coldly.
What on earth has happened?
"Donna, can I see you in my office, please?"
Please. Josh said please. He never says please.
I'm suddenly more frightened than I've ever been before as he holds the door open to me, waits politely for me to enter, then closes it firmly behind us.
I feel like a Republican.
He's standing in front of me, his arms crossed tightly across his chest, his eyes on the floor. I just wait, and he lifts them eventually. Behind his closed-off expression is something that looks like hurt.
"Donna…", he begins, then he looks at me more closely and his eyes practically boggle out of his head.
"Donna, what are you holding in your hands?" His voice is so tight, it makes my throat ache in sympathy.
I look rather stupidly down.
Oh. I'd forgotten about those.
I'm still holding the files I swiped from Ginger's desk. I hadn't noticed before, but they are a very distinctive shade of olive green. They are meticulously tidy and neatly labelled in black ink. Only one person I know carries his work in files like these.
Toby.
Josh runs his hand through his already disordered hair. His eyes are wild and almost anguished.
"What are you? The new Mata Hari?"
"Josh! What are you talking about?"
He ignores me and starts pacing. At least the coldness has gone for the moment.
"I mean, what am I supposed to think? You behave oddly all day; you sidle and scuttle and creep; you rifle through the files on my laptop…"
(Whoops)
"…and NOW I find you slinking around suspiciously carrying Toby's files!"
He turns on me, enraged and confused.
"What in the HELL are you DOING?"
Oh this is too much, it's far too much, I've had quite enough for one day already without Josh acting like a crazy person and accusing me, accusing ME of - God knows what. It's the straw that breaks the camel's back.
"FORGET THE STUPID FILES!" I yell, and before I can stop myself, I've thrown them to the floor in a shower of paper.
"I didn't even know what they were when I picked them up. It was just a thing, it was accidental. I don't care about Toby's files. I was so worried about you Josh; I didn't know what I was doing. I haven't known what I've been doing all afternoon…"
I've perhaps said too much, but at least Josh is listening. In fact he's staring at me with his mouth hanging open.
"What…?"
My mouth, unfortunately, has yet to catch up with my brain because it keeps on pouring out the words.
"…and I'm sorry about your laptop; I know I shouldn't have looked, but you scared me with the Dr Anderson thing and the George thing and I kept thinking, what if he's sick, what if he's really sick? I mean, you've almost died once right? It could happen again. And I'd have to sit in the hospital like last time and worry and worry. I don't want to do that again, Josh, I don't want to sit in the hospital again…"
I can barely see him through the haze of tears in my eyes and I'm thinking that I should probably stop. I should apologise. I should creep away and die from humiliation. But before I can do any of those things, there is a startled exclamation from somewhere in front of me, a soft rush of motion and Josh has gathered me in his arms and my nose is pressed against his shirt front. It smells clean and cottony.
"Donna, Donna, Donna…" he's saying
"Donnatella…"
He really shouldn't say my name like that; his shirt is getting damp enough as it is. I sniffle against him, but I can't move away because he's cradling my head with his hand.
His mouth is really close to my ear and his breath tickles. I think he hardly knows what he's saying himself.
"…I'm fine. I am. I'm fine. I'm not sick. I'm sorry you were worried, and I'm sorry I shouted. I didn't really think you'd done anything nefarious. You're one of the good guys…"
I give a watery chuckle because really, only Josh Lyman could hold a girl in his arms and call her 'one of the good guys'.
He must have heard me because his hold lightens and he lifts my head from his shoulder with both hands. We're practically nose to nose.
"I am sorry. I was just worried about you."
His eyes can get awfully earnest sometimes.
"You were worried about me?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
He leans back slightly, shuffles his feet around, looks thoughtful.
"I think I was overcompensating", he says finally.
"I don't understand."
He sighs and releases me. I feel oddly bereft. He's looking down again, and the arms have crossed against his chest. Classic Lyman defensive mode.
"I spent so long obsessed with myself and what I was feeling, I think I kind of forgot that other people were suffering too."
He peeps up, almost shyly. He must have seen my moue of protest because the head goes down again.
"I've been trying to remember, but I don't always get it right. I've been getting it right more often since I bought George, so I guess Stanley was right in some ways…"
"George?" I squeak.
He stops and looks at me ruefully. He's also embarrassed, but trying his best to hide it.
"I guess I need to tell you about George", he mutters
"Your ex-roommate George? The one who's dead?"
He grimaces.
"Who told you that? Leo?"
"No, Sam."
"Sam?"
His eyes are open with surprise, but then they fill with what can only be described as unholy amusement.
"Well, that explains a lot", he says cryptically and grins. Josh Lyman grins.
With dimples and everything.
Then he tells me about George. The whole story from beginning to end. He's embarrassed again as he tells me about buying the chinchilla. He probably believes I'll think he's a wuss or something. Actually, it is kind of wussy, but it's also adorable.
I tell him this.
He blushes and stands there looking at me with this lopsided rueful/sappy smile on his face.
It is a Moment. We are having a Moment.
"JOSHUA LYMAN! What the hell is this story about a dead rat? And you better have a damn good explanation, or so help me God, I'll have you impeached for wasting the President's time."
Leo McGarry strides into the office, face enraged. He's closely followed by a sheepish looking Sam and CJ.
The Three Stooges are back.
TBC
Chin up, we're nearly there. One more part to go…