Suzaku no Saiai
Part IX
Standard disclaimer: Fushigi Yuugi is copyrighted by Watase Yuu, Shogakukan,
TV Tokyo, Movic,and Studio Pierrot, and maybe some other people, if I forgot
anyone.^^; Anyway, please don't sue me. I'm just a poor college student. Kourin
and Jin Feng were created by me, but I'm not responsible for their actions in this
fanfic. I can't control them anymore! If you think you might be more successful
controlling them, feel free to borrow them. Just drop me a line at
jscaife@austin.rr.com to let me know.
"I can't believe you!" she exploded, her delicate physical state forgotten. "How
could you try to trick me like that?! Did you really think I was so stupid I wouldn't
notice?!"
Kourin hauled her captive back to Nuriko's room and plopped him down on a
chair. "Don't you dare move!" she threatened, turning to dig through a trunk. She
pulled out one of Nuriko's travelling outfits and shook it with a triumphant flourish.
"Here, put this on."
The person on the chair stared back silently, and Kourin groaned. "I have to
dress you now?" She shrugged and began pulling down her captive's top
agressively. Suddenly, the fair haired girl blushed and backed away in
embarrassment. "You're not...Nuriko..." she trailed off. "You're a woman!"
The purple haired girl looked at Kourin's surprised expression and burst into
peals of sweet laughter. "Gomen nasai, for not saying anything sooner," she
apologized as soon as she could breath, "but you just assumed I was Nuriko-
sama, and the joke was too good to pass up. I hope you're not angry?"
Kourin grinned and shook her head. "Not at all, but who are you, and why were
you following me?"
"I am Houki, one of the girls in the Emperor's harem," the other girl replied, "or
rather one of the potential brides for the Emperor before Miko-sama, and then
you, arrived, Kourin-sama. As to why I was following you, I merely wanted to see
what sort of girl had captured Hotohori-sama's heart this time."
Kourin smiled sadly. "Houki-san, I'm not going to marry Hotohori...I can't marry
him..."
Houki squeezed her hand sympathetically. "You don't feel that you could handle
being Empress or is there someone else, if I'm not imposing? Perhaps Kourin-
sama loves Nuriko-sama?"
"In love with Nuriko?"the other girl laughed, but it seemed strained. "No, it's
something else entirely."
The purple haired girl looked at her strangely. "Whatever you say, Kourin-sama,"
she said doubtfully.
"What in Suzaku's name is going on in here?" Nuriko asked weakly from the
doorway. He didn't know who the new girl was or why she was sitting in his room
half undressed, but Kourin had a real smile on her face for the first time in
weeks...
Both girls looked at him and burst out with more laughter. "This is Houki-san,"
Kourin finally got out. "I met her today. You will come back and visit with me," she
pressed. "I don't get much female companionship confined to my rooms like this."
"I don't know..." Houki vacillated. "I'm not really supposed to leave the women's
quarters..." She looked at Kourin's pleading eyes and sighed. "I wish I could, but I
don't know..."
"Why does Kourin want to see her so much?" Nuriko asked himself. "She can't
know that Houki looks the way my imouto would if she had lived...but she seems
to make Kourin happy." He gently put a hand on Houki's shoulder. "If you would
like I'll arrange things for you," he offered shyly. "Kourin does need some friends
besides Hotohori-sama and myself."
"Doomo arigatou gozaimasu, Nuriko-sama!" the girl said, her eyes shining like
stars. She gathered her long skirts and stood, delicately rearranging her bodice.
"I need to return before I'm missed. Hopefully, we will get a chance to talk again,
Kourin-sama."
"Why do you want to talk to her so badly?" Nuriko asked suspiciously after Houki
disappeared from view. "You didn't seem starved for female companionship,
Kourin."
The blond girl smiled sadly. "Houki loves Hotohori..."she sighed quietly. "If I can't
be with him I want his wife to be someone who will love him at least. Besides
Houki has a good sense of humour, and she's sweet tempered as well. If I keep
her close to me, maybe Hotohori will notice her..."
Nuriko put a hand on Kourin's shoulder and rubbed her back with the other. "I
admired your strength in sacrificing yourself and your true feelings for the good of
Konan," he said, trying to reanimate his companion. "In the space of a day you've
lost the man you love and found him a replacement for you. Not many women
could do it."
"Do you think I want to be told all this?!" the blond demanded. "I don't need to be
reminded how great a sacrifice I made you know!" Her face began to crumple,
then forcefully cleared of all emotion. "I can't afford to cry about it; I have to be
strong and prepare for when Suzaku comes for me."
"So you're definitely going with him?" Nuriko gasped.
Kourin hung her head. "I don't really want to leave this world behind, but it seems
that if I don't Suzaku will punish you all in my stead. Am I being selfish in not
being able to make a decision?"
The Suzaku seishi pulled away from her and sighed. "I think you're just being
human, but you can't afford to be that weak, can you? You have some idea that
you can't let yourself feel emotions since you've been chosen by Suzaku...if
you're frightened or depressed about making a final decision it's all right if you let
us know. You lied to Hotohori didn't you? Don't you think he has a right to know
the real reason you won't marry him?"
"That's not your affair, Nuriko," the blond said, rising. "If you'll excuse me I have
to ask Hotohori to allow Houki-san to visit me."
Nuriko watched Kourin until she disappeared around the corner. "What was I
doing?" he scolded himself. "I almost told her to go make up with Hotohori!"
Kourin's enthralling golden smile floated in his mind, and his heart clenched
painfully. "Something tells me I love her more than my own life, but despite my
jealousy towards the other men around, her I just want to see Kourin happy and
smiling forever..."
"Hotohori?" Kourin asked hesitantly, pausing at the doorway to the emperor's
study. "May I come in?" She trembled slightly as he looked up from the desk.
Surprise clouded the young emperor's features, but he smiled amiably and
gestured for the girl to enter.
"Kourin, you're the last person I expected to see here," Hotohori said gently as
she approached his desk. "What may I do for you?"
"I have a rather large favour..." the blond girl began nervously. "Would you grant
permission for one of the princesses to come visit me on a regular basis? I
understand if it's too much to ask..."
Hotohori stepped out from behind his desk and cut her off. "Kourin, all I need is
her name, and it will be done. It is not such a big thing."
"Her name is Houki," the girl began shyly, looking down, "and she looks a lot like
Nuriko...I'd like you to meet her someday."
Hotohori was glad his companion was staring at the floor so she didn't see the
pain on his face. "Perhaps I could escort Houki-san to dinner with you and Nuriko
tonight?" he offered hesitantly.
"That would be wonderful, Hotohori!" Kourin said quickly and darted out the door.
"Kourin, wait!" the emperor called after her. "Please be happy..." he whispered
softly, but she was already gone.
The young woman hummed softly as her hands fluttered over the mound of
dresses on her bed. She didn't know where they had all come from, but all of
them were so pretty! "The green one is nice, but the burgandy one will bring out
the gold in my eyes," she mused. "What am I saying?" She drew away from the
bed, one hand pressed to her lips in shock. "It's not like me to get excited over
clothing like this...that's more Jin Feng's sort of thing..." Kourin shook her head
fiercely. "No! We are not merging! I haven't given my consent!"
"There are some things in life that occur without our approval," an elderly voice
resonated slightly. "You cannot deny your destiny, daughter of the golden
phoenix."
The girl looked around startled. "Who's there? Where are you?"
"I'm at Mt. Taikyoku where I'm supposed to be," the voice said with asperity, "but
I'm talking through that mirror I gave you. Have you forgotten me already, girl?"
"T...taiitsukun!" Kourin stammered, picking up the small, circular mirror. "Did you
need me for something?"
The creator laughed mockingly. "My dear child, what could you do for me right
now? You are having enough trouble helping yourself." The wrinkled face
softened a little before adding, "Your strength in breaking away from Hotohori
impressed me; I did not believe you were capable of it."
The girl's eyes filled with tears, and she sank down onto the bed.. "It hurts so
much inside though," she sobbed, covering her face with her hands. "Despite
what everyone says I think that I really do love him..."
"Perhaps," Taiitsukun said gently, "but you also could be affected by his obvious
attraction to you. When you have the time analyze your feelings and try to see
who you hurt most for: Hotohori or yourself."
The image in the mirror flickered out, and Kourin stared at her own reflection for
several seconds before drying her tears and standing. "She's right...I don't have
time to feel sorry for myself right now. Dinner will be here soon, and I've got to
come up with a plan to get Hotohori to notice that Houki would be an excellent
empress."
About an hour later Nuriko's quarters had been transformed into a magnificent
dining room and parlour due to the strategic placement of several folding screens
and extra furniture. Kourin smiled with pleasure as the last servant discreetly
nodded and left. "This will be perfect!" she babbled to herself. "I'm still terrible at
mah jong, but Houki might be a good player, and if she isn't, I'll get Hotohori to
help her!"
Nuriko's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he wandered in a few minutes
later. "What in Suzaku's name do you have planned?!" he asked in shock.
The girl stopped rearranging the table settings and looked up innocently. "Didn't I
tell you, Nuriko? Hotohori and Houki-san are coming to dinner tonight...oh no!
We've got to get dressed before they arrive!"
Nuriko stared back blankly. "No, somehow you forgot to mention it, but I'm not
surprised that you have something new up your sleeve," he grinned wickedly.
"Your life would be incomplete without some sort of 'purpose' to work towards."
Kourin laughed lightly and stuck out her tongue. "If you're trying to make me
angry it won't work tonight, Ryuuen. I have too many important things to concern
myself with." She shoved a formal outfit at him and curtsied mockingly. "An' it
please you, sir, the burgandy suit would be perfect for this evening."
The young man pretended to think over the girl's offer before teasing, "And how
will Kourin-sama be attired? I simply could not bear to have my ensemble clash
wiht hers."
"Why her burgandy evening gown, of course!" the blond continued, fighting back
triumphant laughter. "It does bring out the gold in her eyes so well."
Houki and Hotohori arrived promptly at seven, and, miraculously, everything was
ready. Kourin smiled blindingly and gestured towards the chairs circled near the
windows. "Why don't we talk a little before we eat?" she bubbled.
Houki paled slightly and cast a nervous look at the emperor from under her
eyelashes. "Maybe we should just eat, Kourin-sama," she suggested softly "I
don't want to waste heika-sama's time"
"Ack! How can she be so dense?!" the blond girl asked herself in frustration. "I
don't think a little chat will take too long," she protested sweetly, "and Hotohori
doesn't really have anything more important to do besides be with us, does he?"
The young emperor caught the subtle hint/threat and shook his head. "Iie, I am
completely free. I believe that Kourin has missed having someone other than
Nuriko around for company, so I cleared my schedule."
Houki cast another uneasy glance at her companion and nodded shyly. "Ii desu
yo. I enjoyed our last talk, Kourin-sama. You were like a breath of fresh air after
the meaningless drivel of the other princesses."
The blond girl flashed another golden smile and gently looped her arm through
Nuriko's. "Ryuuen, you're not joining us," she pouted prettily.
The young seishi blinked and almost stepped back in surprise. Kourin had
voluntarily touched him with tenderness, and now she was pouting because of
his inattention? "Two can play at this game," he mentally smirked. "My dear, you
were doing splendidly without me. Besides social engagements bore me."
A thundercloud crossed Kourin's brow, and her grip on Nuriko's arm tightened
painfully. "Would you excuse us for just a moment?" she asked her guests,
slightly flustered.
"What the hell to you think you're doing?" she hissed furiously once they were out
of earshot. "If you couldn't tell, I'm trying to get Hotohori to notice Houki-san!"
"All you've managed to do so far is convince him that I'm the reason you broke
off your relationship!" the purple-haired seishi retorted, stung.
"Don't you dare mess this up!" Kourin threatened, advancing on him menacingly.
"Houki sincerely loves Hotohori, and I think she can make him happy."
Nuriko gripped her wrists and rotated so the girl's back faced the wall. "I
understand what you want, but what do I get for going along with your little
scheme?" Slowly, he forced Kourin to retreat until her back hit the wall. Her faint
look of panic made it clear that she knew she was trapped, and Nuriko let her
worry for a few minutes before speaking again. "Give me a good reason to help
you, Kourin."
Lids flipped down over brown eyes and then back up, revealing a disconcertingly
steady gaze. "I am removing your most dangerous rival," she said softly. A
triumphant light blossomed in her eyes, and the young seishi knew that once
again Kourin had managed to trap him instead of the other way around.
"And what of Suzakuseikun?" he breathed, dropping his hands to the girl's waist
and leaning in closer. "What is he to you?"
A gentle golden fire began to glow in Kourin's glorious brown eyes. "Suzaku is
only an obstacle to my happiness...how can I be expected to love someone so
distant just because of who my family is?"
Tempted by the girl's candid words the young man raised a hand and carefully
swept her hair back from her face. "I'm right here, and I only wish for your
happiness," he whispered passionately.
Kourin lifted her face towards his, and her eyes clouded. "Nuri...Ryuuen, I know,
but...
Nuriko cut off her sentence with a soft, warm kiss. He tasted faintly of tea and
wine and something undeniably his own, and her treacherous body melted under
the simple assault. "Somehow when he touches me Nuriko becomes the center
of my world...I'm not in love; it's completely impossible!"
Meanwhile Houki and Hotohori desperately attempted idle small talk, but as both
were naturally reserved, shy people their efforts were strained. "I wonder why
Kourin-sama ran off so suddenly," the young woman blurted suddenly, blushing
in embarrassment.
The young emperor sighed heavily. "Kourin had a gleam in her eye that makes
me think that her companion may be in for an earful. I think they got off on the
wrong foot from the start."
Houki stood with a worried look on her pretty face. "I don't hear any yelling," she
explained. "I'm going to make sure nothing serious has happened. Heika-sama,
would you care to join me?"
Hotohori watched the delicate movements of the young woman's hands as she
spoke. "Hm...she is rather pretty, and she cares about others..." he mused
silently. He entertained no illusions about Kourin's dinner invitation. She had
chosen this Houki to be Konan's empress, but he wasn't yet sure...
"Heika-sama?" Houki asked anxiously. "Are you coming?"
"Hai! Ikou yo!"
It didn't take long to find the missing couple. Houki turned around the edge of a
screen and stopped short. "Back up a little!"
From behind the large screen Kourin's guests watched as Nuriko bent his head
to cover Kourin's lips. A strange magnetism throbbed through the intertwined
pair, and mysterious waves of emotions exuded from them.
"I knew it," Houki said quietly. "Kourin-sama tried to deny it, but the attraction is
there." She loosely took Hotohori's sleeve and pulled him away from the tableau.
"Let's give them some privacy, ne?"
Nuriko separated from Kourin reluctantly and caressed her face. "Tell me now
that you aren't mine," he demanded huskily. "Can you tell me now that you don't
feel anything for me?"
The girl's eyes flashed. "I don't belong to anyone but myself! Whoever I choose
to love will learn to accept that. Besides one kiss doesn't mean a thing." She
tossed her head scornfully, but inside she trembled in fear. Her reaction to the
seishi's touch had been so strong it almost overwhelmed her. "I can't let myself
love him!" Kourin cried silently. "I'm afraid of losing myself..."
Houki smiled at her approach. "I hope things are all right with you and Nuriko-
sama. Won't he be back to join us?"
Kourin smiled wanly and briefly glanced at the shell-shocked Hotohori before
lying glibly, "He'll be along shortly. We needn't wait though. Dinner will get cold."
Nuriko sighed as Kourin stalked off, head high and back rigid. "How can I always
say exactly the wrong thing?" He closed his eyes and leaned wearily against the
wall. Her scent lingered in the air, and his fingertips tingled from feeling her soft
curves beneath them. She had been molten gold, flowing perfectly into his
embrace...and now things had soured between them again.
"Are you certain we shouldn't wait for Nuriko-sama?" Houki's nervous voice
floated across the screen.
"He'll join us shortly," Kourin said sweetly, but Nuriko's trained ear detected the
hard, angr y edge in her voice.
Reluctantly, he straightened and splashed some cool water on his face. "She
made an important point." he murmured to himself. "If Hotohori eventually
marries Houki, I don't have to fear Kourin trying to return to him despite all of
Taiitsukun's warnings. I saw her eyes when he arrived, and the feelings she held
for him have not...Bwill not fade until she knows he has found happiness with
another." Nuriko lightly combed his hair and readjusted his suit. "I become a
better actor every day that I spend with her..." Forcing a bright smile he stepped
from behind the screen to rejoin the company.
"I hope you didn't wait on my account," the young man stated jovially
and froze in the charged atmosphere.
Houki turned very pale and looked down at her hands, trembling like a frightened
doe. Hotohori glared at his fellow seishi with eyes like dark bullets, but the blond
girl's response was worst of all. Kourin's eyes were hard and icy, her face
haughty. "I'm so glad you were able to join us, Nuriko," she stated coldly.
" D..doushite?" the young man stuttered in confusion. "Why is everyone so
upset?"
Hotohori stood stiffly and gave his companion a curt nod. "I don't appreciate
being lied to, Kourin," he breathed painfully. "If you loved someone else you
should have just told me instead of inventing pretexts."
"Chotto matte kudasai!" Nuriko protested, even more flustered. "I still don't
understand..."
"This is not your affair," Kourin stated regally. A deep golden aura glowed around
her, and she clearly had tapped into an outer power source. "Perhaps I did not
mention the whole truth, Hotohori, but my reasons are not what you think..." Her
head dropped in defeat. "I...I am destined to become Suzaku's consort, and
unless I can find a way to break his hold on me, I can never belong to any mortal
man. I brought Houki here tonight, Hotohori, to offer her as your empress. She
loves you, and in time you will come to love her more deeply than either Miaka or
me." A pair of glowing wings gently snapped open, and Kourin raised her head
sadly. "I, Jin Feng, have seen this and know it to be true."
The other three stood awestruck at the young woman's strange transformation.
This imposing creature was not their beloved Kourin nor was she the
mischievous trickster Jin Feng.
"Is this what they become when they finally merge?" Nuriko mused silently.
The golden glow began to fade, and Kourin sunk into an armchair, perspiration
beading her brow. "What happened?" she gasped. "We were arguing, and then I
blacked out...why are you staring at me like that?"
Houki regained her composure first and smiled sweetly. "We were just worried
because you hadn't awakened. Perhaps some food will make you feel better,
ne?"
After Hotohori and Houki left Kourin wandered out onto the porch and stared
sulkily at the evening sky. The seishi's constellations twinkled brightly at her, and
she sighed heavily. "I have only to look at the night sky, and I'll have all of you
with me...Chiriko, Tamahome, Chichiri, Hotohori, Nuriko, Tasuki, Mitsukake..."
The girl's eyes turned towards her own constellation, and she sighed again.
"That's not really me up there; it's just the memory of the woman Suzaku loved.
Why couldn't he be like the Greek gods and leave her in the stars?!"
A wave of exhaustion suddenly washed over her, and Kourin reluctantly entered
the rooms she shared with Nuriko and prepared for bed. "I got tired so quickly,
that I know someone is just waiting to get into my head," she muttered darkly.
Her suspicions were confirmed when she began to dream just as her eyes
fluttered close, and a familiar red-winged man came towards across the misty
gate to the dreamworld.
"Hanashi ga arun da, little one," Suzaku said brusquely. He grasped the girl's
upper arms and forcefully pulled her into his embrace. "You asked why, little one,
and I shall tell you!"
Kourin turned red and tried to break away from the encircling arms. "Can't I just
be an ordinary girl?" she begged piteously. "Can't I go back to the way things
were?"
Suzaku shook his head sadly and brushed Kourin's hair from her eyes. "They
can't because I loved your ancestress with my entire being, little one, and in my
selfishness I am not willing to let you go!"
"But I'm not her!" the girl protested desperately. "I will never become who Jin
Feng originally was because my life has been too different! Wouldn't another girl
from my line, a descendent, work just as well?"
"You are Jin Feng in ways that you could never understand," the god whispered.
"You have her power...her fire...not just her face."
"What about your seishi? There are two who love me...does their suffering please
you?" Kourin demanded hotly, letting her panic take control.
"If I do not claim you as my own my seishi will be destroyed," Suzaku stated
simply. "My miko nearly drove them apart once. I will not have my destined bride
succeed." He stared down at the girl in his arms firmly. "I can make you happy,
little one, watakushi no saiai," he whispered, bending to kiss her.
Kourin turned her head away in consternation and the god's kiss caught her right
cheek rather than her lips. "Dame desu yo..." and her eyes filled with tears.
The phoenix god sighed and pressed his face to Kourin's hair. "You will come to
love me, little one. Your ancestress finally did after a lengthy courtship."
The tears in Kourin's heart finally overflowed. "But she didn't have people she
cared about that you were asking her to leave behind!"
A worried look passed over the god's face. "So you do love him. I was afraid that
you were becoming too close..." Suzaku pressed one hand to Kourin's forehead.
"Go find the deep, peaceful sleep where there are no dreams...I must have time
alone to analyze this new development."
Kourin awoke in the early hours just before dawn and returned to the porch. An
uneasy feeling had settled in her stomach, and her cheek burned where Suzaku
had kissed her. To her surprise the young emperor waited outside, pensively
staring at the early morning sky.
"I asked Houki to marry me last night," he said without preamble. "Despite
everything, or perhaps because of it, I wanted you to be the first to know."
The girl stared at Hotohori speechless. "I...I hadn't thought of you as the
impulsive type!" she finally blurted out.
The young man shook his head. "I was following the...advice someone very close
to me offered, and I think that Jin Feng, or should I say you, selected an excellent
empress for me."
"B...but I never said a thing!" Kourin protested weakly. "I meant to, but...Jin
Feng? You saw Jin Feng?" Her eyes narrowed in annoyance. "When I catch that
meddling phoenix woman...!"
Hotohori embraced her from behind and buried his face in the curve of her neck.
"Kourin, you became someone more than yourself last night," he murmured
huskily, "and while I trust that I will come to love Houki in time, now you're the
only one I can think of..." His arms tightened around her, and his warm lips lightly
grazed her skin.
The feelings of uneasiness grew, and Kourin tried to pull away. "Hotohori,
yamete!" she ordered softly. The imperial seishi's behaviour was extremely
peculiar, and she wished he would just return to his rooms and leave her alone
with her thoughts.
To her horror the unwelcome embrace tightened just as the door to her rooms
swung open. "Kourin, are you out here?" Nuriko called, straining his eyes in the
darkness.
"Please don't look this way!" Kourin silently pleaded, but Nuriko turned his head
towards her, and the blood drained from his face.
Glossary
Gomen nasai -- I'm sorry
-sama -- Formal honourific suffix used with one's superior, a good equivalent in
English would be "lord" or "lady"
Miko -- Shinto priestess. In Fushigi Yuugi the miko are the intercessors between
humans and the 4 animal gods.
-san -- Most frequently used honourific suffix, used with one's equals. A good
English equivalent would be "Mr.", "Mrs.", or "Miss".
Imouto -- younger sister
Arigatou -- Thank you
Heika -- emperor
Hai -- yes
Ii desu yo -- It's fine.
Ikou yo -- Let's go!
Doushite -- why
Chotto matte kudasai -- Wait a minute
Hanashi ga arun da -- We need to talk.
Watakushi no saiai -- my beloved, "watakushi" is a more formal form of
"watashi"(I)
Dame desu yo -- It's no good.
Yamete -- Stop it!
Questions? Comments?
c 1997 jscaife@austin.rr.com
Part IX
Standard disclaimer: Fushigi Yuugi is copyrighted by Watase Yuu, Shogakukan,
TV Tokyo, Movic,and Studio Pierrot, and maybe some other people, if I forgot
anyone.^^; Anyway, please don't sue me. I'm just a poor college student. Kourin
and Jin Feng were created by me, but I'm not responsible for their actions in this
fanfic. I can't control them anymore! If you think you might be more successful
controlling them, feel free to borrow them. Just drop me a line at
jscaife@austin.rr.com to let me know.
"I can't believe you!" she exploded, her delicate physical state forgotten. "How
could you try to trick me like that?! Did you really think I was so stupid I wouldn't
notice?!"
Kourin hauled her captive back to Nuriko's room and plopped him down on a
chair. "Don't you dare move!" she threatened, turning to dig through a trunk. She
pulled out one of Nuriko's travelling outfits and shook it with a triumphant flourish.
"Here, put this on."
The person on the chair stared back silently, and Kourin groaned. "I have to
dress you now?" She shrugged and began pulling down her captive's top
agressively. Suddenly, the fair haired girl blushed and backed away in
embarrassment. "You're not...Nuriko..." she trailed off. "You're a woman!"
The purple haired girl looked at Kourin's surprised expression and burst into
peals of sweet laughter. "Gomen nasai, for not saying anything sooner," she
apologized as soon as she could breath, "but you just assumed I was Nuriko-
sama, and the joke was too good to pass up. I hope you're not angry?"
Kourin grinned and shook her head. "Not at all, but who are you, and why were
you following me?"
"I am Houki, one of the girls in the Emperor's harem," the other girl replied, "or
rather one of the potential brides for the Emperor before Miko-sama, and then
you, arrived, Kourin-sama. As to why I was following you, I merely wanted to see
what sort of girl had captured Hotohori-sama's heart this time."
Kourin smiled sadly. "Houki-san, I'm not going to marry Hotohori...I can't marry
him..."
Houki squeezed her hand sympathetically. "You don't feel that you could handle
being Empress or is there someone else, if I'm not imposing? Perhaps Kourin-
sama loves Nuriko-sama?"
"In love with Nuriko?"the other girl laughed, but it seemed strained. "No, it's
something else entirely."
The purple haired girl looked at her strangely. "Whatever you say, Kourin-sama,"
she said doubtfully.
"What in Suzaku's name is going on in here?" Nuriko asked weakly from the
doorway. He didn't know who the new girl was or why she was sitting in his room
half undressed, but Kourin had a real smile on her face for the first time in
weeks...
Both girls looked at him and burst out with more laughter. "This is Houki-san,"
Kourin finally got out. "I met her today. You will come back and visit with me," she
pressed. "I don't get much female companionship confined to my rooms like this."
"I don't know..." Houki vacillated. "I'm not really supposed to leave the women's
quarters..." She looked at Kourin's pleading eyes and sighed. "I wish I could, but I
don't know..."
"Why does Kourin want to see her so much?" Nuriko asked himself. "She can't
know that Houki looks the way my imouto would if she had lived...but she seems
to make Kourin happy." He gently put a hand on Houki's shoulder. "If you would
like I'll arrange things for you," he offered shyly. "Kourin does need some friends
besides Hotohori-sama and myself."
"Doomo arigatou gozaimasu, Nuriko-sama!" the girl said, her eyes shining like
stars. She gathered her long skirts and stood, delicately rearranging her bodice.
"I need to return before I'm missed. Hopefully, we will get a chance to talk again,
Kourin-sama."
"Why do you want to talk to her so badly?" Nuriko asked suspiciously after Houki
disappeared from view. "You didn't seem starved for female companionship,
Kourin."
The blond girl smiled sadly. "Houki loves Hotohori..."she sighed quietly. "If I can't
be with him I want his wife to be someone who will love him at least. Besides
Houki has a good sense of humour, and she's sweet tempered as well. If I keep
her close to me, maybe Hotohori will notice her..."
Nuriko put a hand on Kourin's shoulder and rubbed her back with the other. "I
admired your strength in sacrificing yourself and your true feelings for the good of
Konan," he said, trying to reanimate his companion. "In the space of a day you've
lost the man you love and found him a replacement for you. Not many women
could do it."
"Do you think I want to be told all this?!" the blond demanded. "I don't need to be
reminded how great a sacrifice I made you know!" Her face began to crumple,
then forcefully cleared of all emotion. "I can't afford to cry about it; I have to be
strong and prepare for when Suzaku comes for me."
"So you're definitely going with him?" Nuriko gasped.
Kourin hung her head. "I don't really want to leave this world behind, but it seems
that if I don't Suzaku will punish you all in my stead. Am I being selfish in not
being able to make a decision?"
The Suzaku seishi pulled away from her and sighed. "I think you're just being
human, but you can't afford to be that weak, can you? You have some idea that
you can't let yourself feel emotions since you've been chosen by Suzaku...if
you're frightened or depressed about making a final decision it's all right if you let
us know. You lied to Hotohori didn't you? Don't you think he has a right to know
the real reason you won't marry him?"
"That's not your affair, Nuriko," the blond said, rising. "If you'll excuse me I have
to ask Hotohori to allow Houki-san to visit me."
Nuriko watched Kourin until she disappeared around the corner. "What was I
doing?" he scolded himself. "I almost told her to go make up with Hotohori!"
Kourin's enthralling golden smile floated in his mind, and his heart clenched
painfully. "Something tells me I love her more than my own life, but despite my
jealousy towards the other men around, her I just want to see Kourin happy and
smiling forever..."
"Hotohori?" Kourin asked hesitantly, pausing at the doorway to the emperor's
study. "May I come in?" She trembled slightly as he looked up from the desk.
Surprise clouded the young emperor's features, but he smiled amiably and
gestured for the girl to enter.
"Kourin, you're the last person I expected to see here," Hotohori said gently as
she approached his desk. "What may I do for you?"
"I have a rather large favour..." the blond girl began nervously. "Would you grant
permission for one of the princesses to come visit me on a regular basis? I
understand if it's too much to ask..."
Hotohori stepped out from behind his desk and cut her off. "Kourin, all I need is
her name, and it will be done. It is not such a big thing."
"Her name is Houki," the girl began shyly, looking down, "and she looks a lot like
Nuriko...I'd like you to meet her someday."
Hotohori was glad his companion was staring at the floor so she didn't see the
pain on his face. "Perhaps I could escort Houki-san to dinner with you and Nuriko
tonight?" he offered hesitantly.
"That would be wonderful, Hotohori!" Kourin said quickly and darted out the door.
"Kourin, wait!" the emperor called after her. "Please be happy..." he whispered
softly, but she was already gone.
The young woman hummed softly as her hands fluttered over the mound of
dresses on her bed. She didn't know where they had all come from, but all of
them were so pretty! "The green one is nice, but the burgandy one will bring out
the gold in my eyes," she mused. "What am I saying?" She drew away from the
bed, one hand pressed to her lips in shock. "It's not like me to get excited over
clothing like this...that's more Jin Feng's sort of thing..." Kourin shook her head
fiercely. "No! We are not merging! I haven't given my consent!"
"There are some things in life that occur without our approval," an elderly voice
resonated slightly. "You cannot deny your destiny, daughter of the golden
phoenix."
The girl looked around startled. "Who's there? Where are you?"
"I'm at Mt. Taikyoku where I'm supposed to be," the voice said with asperity, "but
I'm talking through that mirror I gave you. Have you forgotten me already, girl?"
"T...taiitsukun!" Kourin stammered, picking up the small, circular mirror. "Did you
need me for something?"
The creator laughed mockingly. "My dear child, what could you do for me right
now? You are having enough trouble helping yourself." The wrinkled face
softened a little before adding, "Your strength in breaking away from Hotohori
impressed me; I did not believe you were capable of it."
The girl's eyes filled with tears, and she sank down onto the bed.. "It hurts so
much inside though," she sobbed, covering her face with her hands. "Despite
what everyone says I think that I really do love him..."
"Perhaps," Taiitsukun said gently, "but you also could be affected by his obvious
attraction to you. When you have the time analyze your feelings and try to see
who you hurt most for: Hotohori or yourself."
The image in the mirror flickered out, and Kourin stared at her own reflection for
several seconds before drying her tears and standing. "She's right...I don't have
time to feel sorry for myself right now. Dinner will be here soon, and I've got to
come up with a plan to get Hotohori to notice that Houki would be an excellent
empress."
About an hour later Nuriko's quarters had been transformed into a magnificent
dining room and parlour due to the strategic placement of several folding screens
and extra furniture. Kourin smiled with pleasure as the last servant discreetly
nodded and left. "This will be perfect!" she babbled to herself. "I'm still terrible at
mah jong, but Houki might be a good player, and if she isn't, I'll get Hotohori to
help her!"
Nuriko's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he wandered in a few minutes
later. "What in Suzaku's name do you have planned?!" he asked in shock.
The girl stopped rearranging the table settings and looked up innocently. "Didn't I
tell you, Nuriko? Hotohori and Houki-san are coming to dinner tonight...oh no!
We've got to get dressed before they arrive!"
Nuriko stared back blankly. "No, somehow you forgot to mention it, but I'm not
surprised that you have something new up your sleeve," he grinned wickedly.
"Your life would be incomplete without some sort of 'purpose' to work towards."
Kourin laughed lightly and stuck out her tongue. "If you're trying to make me
angry it won't work tonight, Ryuuen. I have too many important things to concern
myself with." She shoved a formal outfit at him and curtsied mockingly. "An' it
please you, sir, the burgandy suit would be perfect for this evening."
The young man pretended to think over the girl's offer before teasing, "And how
will Kourin-sama be attired? I simply could not bear to have my ensemble clash
wiht hers."
"Why her burgandy evening gown, of course!" the blond continued, fighting back
triumphant laughter. "It does bring out the gold in her eyes so well."
Houki and Hotohori arrived promptly at seven, and, miraculously, everything was
ready. Kourin smiled blindingly and gestured towards the chairs circled near the
windows. "Why don't we talk a little before we eat?" she bubbled.
Houki paled slightly and cast a nervous look at the emperor from under her
eyelashes. "Maybe we should just eat, Kourin-sama," she suggested softly "I
don't want to waste heika-sama's time"
"Ack! How can she be so dense?!" the blond girl asked herself in frustration. "I
don't think a little chat will take too long," she protested sweetly, "and Hotohori
doesn't really have anything more important to do besides be with us, does he?"
The young emperor caught the subtle hint/threat and shook his head. "Iie, I am
completely free. I believe that Kourin has missed having someone other than
Nuriko around for company, so I cleared my schedule."
Houki cast another uneasy glance at her companion and nodded shyly. "Ii desu
yo. I enjoyed our last talk, Kourin-sama. You were like a breath of fresh air after
the meaningless drivel of the other princesses."
The blond girl flashed another golden smile and gently looped her arm through
Nuriko's. "Ryuuen, you're not joining us," she pouted prettily.
The young seishi blinked and almost stepped back in surprise. Kourin had
voluntarily touched him with tenderness, and now she was pouting because of
his inattention? "Two can play at this game," he mentally smirked. "My dear, you
were doing splendidly without me. Besides social engagements bore me."
A thundercloud crossed Kourin's brow, and her grip on Nuriko's arm tightened
painfully. "Would you excuse us for just a moment?" she asked her guests,
slightly flustered.
"What the hell to you think you're doing?" she hissed furiously once they were out
of earshot. "If you couldn't tell, I'm trying to get Hotohori to notice Houki-san!"
"All you've managed to do so far is convince him that I'm the reason you broke
off your relationship!" the purple-haired seishi retorted, stung.
"Don't you dare mess this up!" Kourin threatened, advancing on him menacingly.
"Houki sincerely loves Hotohori, and I think she can make him happy."
Nuriko gripped her wrists and rotated so the girl's back faced the wall. "I
understand what you want, but what do I get for going along with your little
scheme?" Slowly, he forced Kourin to retreat until her back hit the wall. Her faint
look of panic made it clear that she knew she was trapped, and Nuriko let her
worry for a few minutes before speaking again. "Give me a good reason to help
you, Kourin."
Lids flipped down over brown eyes and then back up, revealing a disconcertingly
steady gaze. "I am removing your most dangerous rival," she said softly. A
triumphant light blossomed in her eyes, and the young seishi knew that once
again Kourin had managed to trap him instead of the other way around.
"And what of Suzakuseikun?" he breathed, dropping his hands to the girl's waist
and leaning in closer. "What is he to you?"
A gentle golden fire began to glow in Kourin's glorious brown eyes. "Suzaku is
only an obstacle to my happiness...how can I be expected to love someone so
distant just because of who my family is?"
Tempted by the girl's candid words the young man raised a hand and carefully
swept her hair back from her face. "I'm right here, and I only wish for your
happiness," he whispered passionately.
Kourin lifted her face towards his, and her eyes clouded. "Nuri...Ryuuen, I know,
but...
Nuriko cut off her sentence with a soft, warm kiss. He tasted faintly of tea and
wine and something undeniably his own, and her treacherous body melted under
the simple assault. "Somehow when he touches me Nuriko becomes the center
of my world...I'm not in love; it's completely impossible!"
Meanwhile Houki and Hotohori desperately attempted idle small talk, but as both
were naturally reserved, shy people their efforts were strained. "I wonder why
Kourin-sama ran off so suddenly," the young woman blurted suddenly, blushing
in embarrassment.
The young emperor sighed heavily. "Kourin had a gleam in her eye that makes
me think that her companion may be in for an earful. I think they got off on the
wrong foot from the start."
Houki stood with a worried look on her pretty face. "I don't hear any yelling," she
explained. "I'm going to make sure nothing serious has happened. Heika-sama,
would you care to join me?"
Hotohori watched the delicate movements of the young woman's hands as she
spoke. "Hm...she is rather pretty, and she cares about others..." he mused
silently. He entertained no illusions about Kourin's dinner invitation. She had
chosen this Houki to be Konan's empress, but he wasn't yet sure...
"Heika-sama?" Houki asked anxiously. "Are you coming?"
"Hai! Ikou yo!"
It didn't take long to find the missing couple. Houki turned around the edge of a
screen and stopped short. "Back up a little!"
From behind the large screen Kourin's guests watched as Nuriko bent his head
to cover Kourin's lips. A strange magnetism throbbed through the intertwined
pair, and mysterious waves of emotions exuded from them.
"I knew it," Houki said quietly. "Kourin-sama tried to deny it, but the attraction is
there." She loosely took Hotohori's sleeve and pulled him away from the tableau.
"Let's give them some privacy, ne?"
Nuriko separated from Kourin reluctantly and caressed her face. "Tell me now
that you aren't mine," he demanded huskily. "Can you tell me now that you don't
feel anything for me?"
The girl's eyes flashed. "I don't belong to anyone but myself! Whoever I choose
to love will learn to accept that. Besides one kiss doesn't mean a thing." She
tossed her head scornfully, but inside she trembled in fear. Her reaction to the
seishi's touch had been so strong it almost overwhelmed her. "I can't let myself
love him!" Kourin cried silently. "I'm afraid of losing myself..."
Houki smiled at her approach. "I hope things are all right with you and Nuriko-
sama. Won't he be back to join us?"
Kourin smiled wanly and briefly glanced at the shell-shocked Hotohori before
lying glibly, "He'll be along shortly. We needn't wait though. Dinner will get cold."
Nuriko sighed as Kourin stalked off, head high and back rigid. "How can I always
say exactly the wrong thing?" He closed his eyes and leaned wearily against the
wall. Her scent lingered in the air, and his fingertips tingled from feeling her soft
curves beneath them. She had been molten gold, flowing perfectly into his
embrace...and now things had soured between them again.
"Are you certain we shouldn't wait for Nuriko-sama?" Houki's nervous voice
floated across the screen.
"He'll join us shortly," Kourin said sweetly, but Nuriko's trained ear detected the
hard, angr y edge in her voice.
Reluctantly, he straightened and splashed some cool water on his face. "She
made an important point." he murmured to himself. "If Hotohori eventually
marries Houki, I don't have to fear Kourin trying to return to him despite all of
Taiitsukun's warnings. I saw her eyes when he arrived, and the feelings she held
for him have not...Bwill not fade until she knows he has found happiness with
another." Nuriko lightly combed his hair and readjusted his suit. "I become a
better actor every day that I spend with her..." Forcing a bright smile he stepped
from behind the screen to rejoin the company.
"I hope you didn't wait on my account," the young man stated jovially
and froze in the charged atmosphere.
Houki turned very pale and looked down at her hands, trembling like a frightened
doe. Hotohori glared at his fellow seishi with eyes like dark bullets, but the blond
girl's response was worst of all. Kourin's eyes were hard and icy, her face
haughty. "I'm so glad you were able to join us, Nuriko," she stated coldly.
" D..doushite?" the young man stuttered in confusion. "Why is everyone so
upset?"
Hotohori stood stiffly and gave his companion a curt nod. "I don't appreciate
being lied to, Kourin," he breathed painfully. "If you loved someone else you
should have just told me instead of inventing pretexts."
"Chotto matte kudasai!" Nuriko protested, even more flustered. "I still don't
understand..."
"This is not your affair," Kourin stated regally. A deep golden aura glowed around
her, and she clearly had tapped into an outer power source. "Perhaps I did not
mention the whole truth, Hotohori, but my reasons are not what you think..." Her
head dropped in defeat. "I...I am destined to become Suzaku's consort, and
unless I can find a way to break his hold on me, I can never belong to any mortal
man. I brought Houki here tonight, Hotohori, to offer her as your empress. She
loves you, and in time you will come to love her more deeply than either Miaka or
me." A pair of glowing wings gently snapped open, and Kourin raised her head
sadly. "I, Jin Feng, have seen this and know it to be true."
The other three stood awestruck at the young woman's strange transformation.
This imposing creature was not their beloved Kourin nor was she the
mischievous trickster Jin Feng.
"Is this what they become when they finally merge?" Nuriko mused silently.
The golden glow began to fade, and Kourin sunk into an armchair, perspiration
beading her brow. "What happened?" she gasped. "We were arguing, and then I
blacked out...why are you staring at me like that?"
Houki regained her composure first and smiled sweetly. "We were just worried
because you hadn't awakened. Perhaps some food will make you feel better,
ne?"
After Hotohori and Houki left Kourin wandered out onto the porch and stared
sulkily at the evening sky. The seishi's constellations twinkled brightly at her, and
she sighed heavily. "I have only to look at the night sky, and I'll have all of you
with me...Chiriko, Tamahome, Chichiri, Hotohori, Nuriko, Tasuki, Mitsukake..."
The girl's eyes turned towards her own constellation, and she sighed again.
"That's not really me up there; it's just the memory of the woman Suzaku loved.
Why couldn't he be like the Greek gods and leave her in the stars?!"
A wave of exhaustion suddenly washed over her, and Kourin reluctantly entered
the rooms she shared with Nuriko and prepared for bed. "I got tired so quickly,
that I know someone is just waiting to get into my head," she muttered darkly.
Her suspicions were confirmed when she began to dream just as her eyes
fluttered close, and a familiar red-winged man came towards across the misty
gate to the dreamworld.
"Hanashi ga arun da, little one," Suzaku said brusquely. He grasped the girl's
upper arms and forcefully pulled her into his embrace. "You asked why, little one,
and I shall tell you!"
Kourin turned red and tried to break away from the encircling arms. "Can't I just
be an ordinary girl?" she begged piteously. "Can't I go back to the way things
were?"
Suzaku shook his head sadly and brushed Kourin's hair from her eyes. "They
can't because I loved your ancestress with my entire being, little one, and in my
selfishness I am not willing to let you go!"
"But I'm not her!" the girl protested desperately. "I will never become who Jin
Feng originally was because my life has been too different! Wouldn't another girl
from my line, a descendent, work just as well?"
"You are Jin Feng in ways that you could never understand," the god whispered.
"You have her power...her fire...not just her face."
"What about your seishi? There are two who love me...does their suffering please
you?" Kourin demanded hotly, letting her panic take control.
"If I do not claim you as my own my seishi will be destroyed," Suzaku stated
simply. "My miko nearly drove them apart once. I will not have my destined bride
succeed." He stared down at the girl in his arms firmly. "I can make you happy,
little one, watakushi no saiai," he whispered, bending to kiss her.
Kourin turned her head away in consternation and the god's kiss caught her right
cheek rather than her lips. "Dame desu yo..." and her eyes filled with tears.
The phoenix god sighed and pressed his face to Kourin's hair. "You will come to
love me, little one. Your ancestress finally did after a lengthy courtship."
The tears in Kourin's heart finally overflowed. "But she didn't have people she
cared about that you were asking her to leave behind!"
A worried look passed over the god's face. "So you do love him. I was afraid that
you were becoming too close..." Suzaku pressed one hand to Kourin's forehead.
"Go find the deep, peaceful sleep where there are no dreams...I must have time
alone to analyze this new development."
Kourin awoke in the early hours just before dawn and returned to the porch. An
uneasy feeling had settled in her stomach, and her cheek burned where Suzaku
had kissed her. To her surprise the young emperor waited outside, pensively
staring at the early morning sky.
"I asked Houki to marry me last night," he said without preamble. "Despite
everything, or perhaps because of it, I wanted you to be the first to know."
The girl stared at Hotohori speechless. "I...I hadn't thought of you as the
impulsive type!" she finally blurted out.
The young man shook his head. "I was following the...advice someone very close
to me offered, and I think that Jin Feng, or should I say you, selected an excellent
empress for me."
"B...but I never said a thing!" Kourin protested weakly. "I meant to, but...Jin
Feng? You saw Jin Feng?" Her eyes narrowed in annoyance. "When I catch that
meddling phoenix woman...!"
Hotohori embraced her from behind and buried his face in the curve of her neck.
"Kourin, you became someone more than yourself last night," he murmured
huskily, "and while I trust that I will come to love Houki in time, now you're the
only one I can think of..." His arms tightened around her, and his warm lips lightly
grazed her skin.
The feelings of uneasiness grew, and Kourin tried to pull away. "Hotohori,
yamete!" she ordered softly. The imperial seishi's behaviour was extremely
peculiar, and she wished he would just return to his rooms and leave her alone
with her thoughts.
To her horror the unwelcome embrace tightened just as the door to her rooms
swung open. "Kourin, are you out here?" Nuriko called, straining his eyes in the
darkness.
"Please don't look this way!" Kourin silently pleaded, but Nuriko turned his head
towards her, and the blood drained from his face.
Glossary
Gomen nasai -- I'm sorry
-sama -- Formal honourific suffix used with one's superior, a good equivalent in
English would be "lord" or "lady"
Miko -- Shinto priestess. In Fushigi Yuugi the miko are the intercessors between
humans and the 4 animal gods.
-san -- Most frequently used honourific suffix, used with one's equals. A good
English equivalent would be "Mr.", "Mrs.", or "Miss".
Imouto -- younger sister
Arigatou -- Thank you
Heika -- emperor
Hai -- yes
Ii desu yo -- It's fine.
Ikou yo -- Let's go!
Doushite -- why
Chotto matte kudasai -- Wait a minute
Hanashi ga arun da -- We need to talk.
Watakushi no saiai -- my beloved, "watakushi" is a more formal form of
"watashi"(I)
Dame desu yo -- It's no good.
Yamete -- Stop it!
Questions? Comments?
c 1997 jscaife@austin.rr.com