Title: Thank You AOL
Author: Vampy
E-mail: Vampybaby619@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13/R
Summary: And you thought the internet relationships were corny...
Distribution: Heat. Desire. Most likely...anyone else just drop me a line.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and even that is iffy.
Authors note: I know the internet thing has been done but I was recently in IM hell and bored out of my mind so I decided to write this fic.

Bloody_Hell_187= Spike
Lover_Wicca_1= Willow
Lover_Wicca_2= Tara
Glorified_Layer= Xander
Orgasm_Friend= Anya
Chosen_Chick= Buffy
Ripper_G= Giles

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Bloody_Hell_187: I can't believe I let you lot con me into this! This is bloody ridiculous!
Glorified_Layer: For once I agree with the bloodsucker. Who ever heard of demons on the net?
Lover_Wicca_1: The internet is a big part of the world, it's in danger so we have to save it!
Bloody_Hell_187: So says the computer nerd
Glorified_Layer: LOL
Orgasm_Friend: LOL
Ripper_G: LOL
Chosen_Chick: Spike shut up! Giles? You too?
Lover_Wicca_1: :-(
Ripper_G: I'm dreadfully sorry...I couldn't help myself
Lover_Wicca_2: There there, honey. Ignore them.
Lover_Wicca_1: :-) *kotc*
Bloody_Hell_187: Lesbian Cyber Porn anyone?
Chosen_Chick: You're a pig Spike! Why is he here again?
Ripper_G: Spike is accquainted with the demon in question...we need him to make contact.
Chosen_Chick: I thought all his demon friends disowned his sorry, neutered, impotent ass
Bloody_Hell_187: Sod off, Slayer!
Orgasm_Friend: When are we gonna be done? I would like to have cyber sex with Xander.
Bloody_Hell_187: LOL LMAO
Chosen_Chick: *giggles*
Ripper_G: No comment
Glorified_Layer: *blushes*
Glorified_Layer: Anya, remember out discussion about private lives?
Orgasm_Friend: Yes, you said that they were not to be talked about...oops! Sorry!
Bloody_Hell_187: At least she know what she wants...unlike some bitches we know
Chosen_Chick: I know what I want...and can get it WHEN I want unlike some sex-less vamps
Bloody_Hell_187: Slayer, you couldn't get laid if you spread your legs at a kegger!
Chosen_Chick: Look who's talking Mr. Desprate...Does the word "ROBOT" ring a bell?
Ripper_G: That's enough! Let's concentrate on the matter at hand shall we?
Ripper_G: You can bicker all you want later!
Chosen_Chick: Sorry Giles...He started it!
Ripper_G: And you carried on with it
Bloody_Hell_187: LOL
Chosen_Chick: Fuck You, Spike!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Instant Message From: Bloody_Hell_187

Bloody_Hell_187: Anytime, Slayer...Satan knows you need it.
Chosen_Chick: I hardly think you'd be the one to give it to me!
Bloody_Hell_187: Please. I could have you screaming in 3 seconds
Chosen_Chick: yeah right. I could squeeze you till you popped like champagne
Chosen_Chick: And you'd beg me to hurt you just a little more, but you know why I don't?
Bloody_Hell_187: Because it's wrong? Bloody bitch!
Bloody_Hell_187: If you only knew what those words did to me.
Chosen_Chick: ?
Bloody_Hell_187: They made my rod so hard I could pound friggin' nails into cement!
Chosen_Chick: LOL Nice imagery...that hard huh?
Bloody_Hell_187: Don't even go there, Slayer...
Chosen_Chick: What if I want to go there?
Bloody_Hell_187: Then you'd be playing with fire...
Chosen_Chick: Let me get burned...
Bloody_Hell_187: Uh... BRB
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Lover_Wicca_1: I found something! Where's Spike?
Lover_Wicca_2: That's great, honey...I dunno he's been quiet for a while
Glorified_Layer: The Buffster has been too...
Orgasm_Friend: Maybe they went to go have cyber sex...*smiles*
Ripper_G: *cringes* I'd rather not think about that!
Glorified_Layer: Hey Buffy! Deadboy Junior!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Instant Message from: Chosen_Chick

Chosen_Chick: Spike????
Bloody_Hell_187: What, Slayer?
Chosen_Chick: Where did you go?
Bloody_Hell_187: Um, I had something that needed to be adjusted.
Chosen_Chick: LMAO...
Bloody_Hell_187: The computer, you stupid bint!
Chosen_Chick: Yeah right
Bloody_Hell_187: *gives Chosen_Chick the finger*
Chosen_Chick: Anytime, Spike...I did not just say that!
Bloody_Hell_187: ?!?!?!
Bloody_Hell_187: Careful, Slayer. I'm starting to think you might fancy me
Chosen_Chick: In your dreams, bloodbreath!
Bloody_Hell_187: Every bloody night...sans clothing! *evil grin*
Chosen_Chick: I think the others are calling us
Bloody_Hell_187: Ruin my fun :-(
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chosen_Chick: What's up guys? What did we find?
Glorified_Layer: Geez, it took you long enough. What were you doing?
Bloody_Hell_187: I was giving the Slayer a cyber seeing to
Orgasm_Friend: See! I told you!
Glorified_Layer: Ewww
Chosen_Chick: I WAS NOT HAVING CYBER SEX WITH SPIKE!
Bloody_Hell_187: Not that she didn't think about it...
Orgasm_Friend: :-)
Ripper_G: W-willow has found something
Bloody_Hell_187: LOL The watcher even stutters when he types
Ripper_G: Be quiet....pillock
Chosen_Chick: Giles! Was that english cussing I just read?
Glorified_Layer: G-man and bad language...who knew?
Ripper_G: :-P
Lover_Wicca_1: Is everyone done? Is it alright to save the world now?
Lover_Wicca_2: Willow is right, can everyone just stop slamming each other?
Chosen_Chick: Sorry Will
Glorified_Layer: Yeah sorry Wills
Bloody_Hell_187: I'm not...
Chosen_Chick: Shut up!
Ripper_G: Willow tell them what we have before I figure out how to send a virus
Lover_Wicca_2: Ut oh...So what he says quick!
Glorified_Layer: Giles is threatening to actually use the "dread machine"!
Chosen_Chick: I'm scared now...Giles and a computer...Way Wiggy!
Bloody_Hell_187: LOL
Lover_Wicca_1: ENOUGH! ...Thank you!
Lover_Wicca_1: We have to play against the demon in a computer game and win to defeat him
Chosen_Chick: Is that all?
Glorified_Layer: Cool! Why can't that be a regular form of evil fighting?
Bloody_Hell_187: Because then we would have losers like you running things, lackbrain
Glorified_Layer: I hope nobody minds if I stake the annoying waste of cyberspace...
Bloody_Hell_187: ha bloody ha...like you could
Lover_Wicca_1: Like I was saying, we have to play the online game...
Lover_Wicca_1: it's called "In the money" it's a business type game
Lover_Wicca_1: The demons s/n is DestroyU666
Chosen_Chick: Boring! *Z*
Bloody_Hell_187: I knew it...A waste of my bloody time!
Chosen_Chick: Spike, you have plenty of time to spare. It's not like you do anything important...
Bloody_Hell_187: I have plenty of important things to do: drinking, smoking, shagging...
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Instant Message from: Chosen_Chick

Chosen_Chick: Shagging? Who are you gonna shag? Rosy and her 5 friends?
Bloody_Hell_187: I was thinking more along the lines of someone warmer...
Bloody_Hell_187: Someone fiery
Bloody_Hell_187: Someone blonde...
Chosen_Chick: *gulps* You think you have a chance with this person?
Bloody_Hell_187: A crumb of a chance...but still a chance
Chosen_Chick: What if I told you this person has thought about it...a little
Bloody_Hell_187: What if I told you I smelled that persons want...and want to satisfy it...
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Glorified_Layer: "In The Money" huh? What do you think Anya?
Orgasm_Friend is away
Glorified_Layer: Anya!!!!
Orgasm_Friend has returned
Orgasm_Friend: What is it Xander? I have just won this money game
Orgasm_Friend: And I am being added to the Hall of Fame, I beat the master!
Lover_Wicca_1: Anya...what was the name of the game?
Orgasm_Friend: In The Money...why?
Ripper_G: W-what was the, um, masters name?
Orgasm_Friend: DestroyU666...why?
Lover_Wicca_2: Well I guess our problem is solved...
Glorified_Layer: I guess so...way to go Anya!
Orgasm_Friend: :-) Can we have cyber sex now?
Orgasm_Friend has left the chat
Glorified_Layer has left the chat
Ripper_G: I do not want to know...
Ripper_G has left the chat
Lover_Wicca_1: Oh well...back to the real world
Lover_Wicca_1 has left the chat
Lover_Wicca_2 has left the chat
Chosen_Chick: Rude much? No one even cared to say goodbye!
Bloody_Hell_187: I care Slayer...
Chosen_Chick: Spike, you don't care about anyone but yourself!
Bloody_Hell_187: I care about you...Buffy
Bloody_Hell_187 has left the chat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Instant Message from: Chosen_Chick

Chosen_Chick: Spike wait!
Bloody_Hell_187 is not currently signed on
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(YOU'VE GOT MAIL)

To: Chosen_Chick
From: Bloody_Hell_187
Subject: I care...

The Definition Of Love by Andrew Marvell

My love is of a birth as rare
As 'tis for object strange and high:
It was begotten by Despair
Upon Impossibilty.

Magnanimous Despair alone
Could show me so divine a thing,
Where feeble Hope could ne'er have flown
But vainly flapt its tinsel wing.

And yet I quickly might arrive
Where my extended soul is fixt,
But Fate does iron wedges drive,
And always crowds itself betwixt.

For Fate with jealous eye does see
Two perfect loves, nor lets them close:
Their union would her ruin be,
And her tyrannic pow'r depose.

And therefore her decrees of steel
Us as the distant poles have plac'd
(Though Love's whole world on us does wheel)
Not by themselves to be embrac'd

Unless the giddy heaven fall
And earth some new convulsion tear,
And, us to join, the world should all
Be cramped into a planisphere.

As lines so loves oblique may well
Themselves in every angle greet;
But ours so truly parallel,
Though infinite can never meet.

Therefore the love which doth us bind,
But Fate so enviously debars,
Is the conjunction of the mind,
And opposition of the stars.

I care about you, Buffy. More than you realize...sweet dreams, Slayer

~Spike~

(GOODBYE!)

FIN