Angel Fallen
A Final Fantasy VII Side Story
By Chadwick V. Simmons
Part III
The sheet of steel she was trying to lift slipped from fingers gone numb with fatigue. It clattered to the rocky ground leaving a trail of grime and blood across her lacerated palm.
"Son of a bitch!" Tifa sank down on a nearby boulder to rest a moment. Methodically she tugged her mangled work glove off, careful not to get anymore dirt into her most recent wound. "By Sephiroth's black heart, life just doesn't get any easier."
The clatter of shifting rubble distracted her momentarily from her bitter speculation. Cursing soon ensued, and Tifa was forced to smile despite herself. At least Barret was decent enough to accompany her to this accursed place. With a sigh she gazed distractedly at the remains of the ruined mako reactor before her. Someone had done a real number on the place since her last visit. Not much was left standing, and sifting through it all was starting to look like more trouble than it was worth.
With an exasperated sigh she returned her attention to her torn flesh. She deftly popped the cap from her canteen with her good hand and poured water between the jagged edges of her wound, cleansing it as best as she could. She bound her hand with a strip of cloth taken from her already torn and bloodied shirt. "This would be a lot easier if I still had a good cure materia," she mumbled aloud.
Of course she didn't have one though. She wouldn't be in this forsaken place otherwise. They'd lost most of their materia in their escape from the crater. What little was left was currently in Cloud's possession, and no one seemed to know where exactly he'd gone off to, with the likely exception of Cid who'd also disappeared recently.
Tifa, meanwhile, was left searching through the remains of this burned out mako reactor for a few scraps of precious materia to sell. Her hometown, Nibelheim, wasn't fairing so well since the fall of Shinra Inc., and a sizable portion of its already small population was beginning to migrate elsewhere. Most of the people who currently lived there were former Shinra employees planted there once the town was rebuilt years ago, this following Sephiroth's mad rampage, which had destroyed the original town. The materia hunt was the only thing she could think of to increase the town's income and hopefully allow more people to keep their homes. She knew in her heart it was probably a lost cause, but she simple couldn't bring herself to give up hope for the only place that she'd ever called home.
"Damn piece of shit Shinra machinery! Never could build anything that worked better than half right!" Barret's booming baritone echoed across the mountainside.
Tifa truly was thankful to have the man along, despite his surly demeanor. Monsters still infested the mountain, making it dangerous to travel here alone. Finding an unexpected pile of rubble that needed to be dug through would've spelled the end to her treasure hunt had Barret not been along to help as well. Still, she wished Cloud could have been here with her instead.
Tifa sighed and let her head drop. A sudden sadness gripped her, a feeling that was becoming all too familiar as of late. Images of a pretty young flower girl drifted through her mind, a girl no longer with them. Suddenly she wished desperately that she could take back all of the harsh words she'd spoken to the girl not so long ago. It was far too late for that though. She just wished that those words had been spoken as fact and not as a jealous rebuke. That wasn't and would never be the case though, and her mistakes would be hers to bear for a lifetime.
Aeris's death had been painful for them all, but it was Cloud most of all who'd suffered, and that was what hurt Tifa the most. She'd always loved Cloud, even though she'd never really admitted it. It seemed for a while that Cloud had shared those feelings, though she couldn't be certain. His veil of secrecy and confusion had always kept her guessing. Aeris it seemed had seen something in Cloud that no one else could though, and through that understanding she'd somehow come to mean more to him than any of them had suspected, Cloud included. When she'd died, impaled on the Masamune, Cloud had been broken. He would always carry the burden of her death for he truly believed it had been a result of his own inaction. He would also carry a place in his heart for the innocent young flower girl for the rest of his days. Tifa wasn't sure if there would be room in his heart for her as well. Even if there were, she'd constantly wonder if she would ever mean as much to him as Aeris had.
"Damn girl, you ever coming out of depression?"
The smell of sweat and gun oil drifted around Tifa letting her know Barret was just behind her. He could certainly move quietly for such a big man, she mused. She threw a wistful smile back to him, unshed tears sparkling in her eyes. "Someday I will. But the pain is too fresh to forget just yet."
With a shake of his head Barret stomped over and plopped down on the boulder beside her. "Seems to me like the pain's still fresh 'cause it's still being inflicted. That spiky headed bastard ought to know better than to mess with a woman's feelings!"
A wane smile briefly touched Tifa's lips before fading away. "Don't be too hard on him. I know he can be rather callous sometimes, but he's probably even more confused than I am right now. I can't deny him his pain and grief anymore than he can deny me mine."
"Pfft! Yeah whatever. If there's one thing that boy's damn good at it's being one confused motherfucker." Barret hung his head, shaking it emphatically. Tifa never cracked a smile so he knew she was feeling really low this time. He let it go at that and they just sat in silence for a while, gazing out at the lowlands below.
His gaze finally settled on the lights of Nibelheim, just now coming to life. "Sun will be setting soon. We better set up camp," he commented. Tifa continued to gaze distractedly at the distant town. "I'll see to it. You just relax a bit." With that he got up and started toward their pile of equipment.
With Barret some distance away, Tifa finally gave in to the pain and let her tears flow unchecked. After a few moments she returned her reddened eyes to the horizon. "Where are you Cloud? Why aren't you with me right now?" She could only shake her head in resignation. It was quite likely he'd never be there for her and she wouldn't waste her entire life waiting. But she knew that letting go would hurt even more.
Tifa sat staring at the horizon long after the sun had made its fiery descent. Then she lay gazing at the beautiful stars long into the night.